Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Chris Colfer: Buh-by Hollywood Hills Starter House

SELLER: Chris Colfer
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,150,000
SIZE: 2,462 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We've now heard from several snitchy informants who let Your Mama know that out and proud Glee star Chris Colfer has put his starter house in the Hollywood Hills up for sale with a $1,150,000 price tag.

If y'all clear out the cobwebs and/or put on your thinking caps the children may recall that the singing and dancing Golden Globe winner purchased the house in the hills just over two years ago, in March 2011, for $860,000.*

Current digital marketing materials show the three-story residence with its—ahem—rusticated base, faux-quoining, and shingled mansard roof sits hard up on the street, as do many homes in even the swankiest sections of the Hollywood Hills. There are three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms in 2,462 square feet of fairly recently remodeled interior space.**

A secured (and not particularly attractive) iron gate secures a walled and gated entry courtyard just barely big enough to accommodate two people. The front door opens directly in to the mid-floor "formal" living room where a low slate-tiled platform plays paltry substitute for a proper foyer. There are honey blond wood floors throughout the house and sliding glass doors at the back of the living room lead out to a wrought-iron railed deck that runs the full width of the house and hangs knee-knockingly over the steep canyon below.

A circular staircase with an industrial-ish stainless steel banister and more than a half dozen small windows ascends to the upper level bedrooms that include a couple of guest/family bedrooms—one is currently staged as a home office—that share a fairly compact three-quarter bathroom with corner sink situation and glass-enclosed stall shower.

The master bedroom, also on the upper level, has lovely canyon and sky views and a fitted walk-in closet. The attached private bathroom is outfitted with a slate tile vanity with two frosted glass vessel sinks,**** and a triangular-shaped jetted tub—it's almost heart shaped, really—set into a ebony pebble tile-walled corner. A separate but open shower appears to be fashioned from poured concrete but, for all this nimrod property gossip knows, it may very well be a far less humble material.

The house's main living space on the lower level encompasses an open, loft-like space that spans the full width of the house. At one end a family room has a (gas) fireplace with bulky slate tile surround, a built-in sofa bench (that we sorta love as a reading nook), and sliding glass doors that open to a second wrought iron-railed deck that, like the one above it, also spans the full width of the house. In the middle of the long, low-ceilinged space is a tight dining area—currently staged with a bothersome bar-height table for four—and a wet bar with itty-bitty sink and under-counter wine and booze fridge. The kitchen at the far end of the room has Shaker-style cherry-toned cabinetry, golden-beige solid surface counter tops, and a weirdly shaped center island with a curved glass breakfast bar. The kitchen is also equipped with and expected suite of mid-range stainless steel appliances, a shimmery stainless steel kick panel under the breakfast bar, and—an honest to goodness excellent feature—an over-sized walk-in pantry.

Your Mama has no idea what future real estate plans Mister Colfer may have but the obviously staged interiors of his starter place in the Hollywood Hills and the empty closets more than suggest he's already packed up and moved on..

In other Glee-related real estate news:

We first heard it on the 5th of September (2013) a from a gabby gal we'll call Bea A. Sporte and we've subsequently heard word on the celebrity real estate street is that back in March (2013) the show's property mad creator, writer and executive executive producer Ryan Murphy, shelled out $9,000,000 for a fixer upper in the rustic-swank celebrity-saturated Sullivan Canyon area that snakes up into the Santa Monica Mountains between L.A.'s tony Brentwood and Pacific Palisades communities.

It appears the whole thing went down on the down low because Your Mama was unable to turn up any easily available online listings from the time of the time of Mister Murphy's surreptitious property procurement. However, we did manage to turn up loads of information about the 1.4 acre, horse-zoned spread from the time the sellers purchased the property just over a year earlier. At that time the residence was billed as a "Santa Barbara mission style home" that was built in 1991 with 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms in just over 7,200 square feet with "soaring architectural spaces" and "Arizona flagstone floors throughout." Other amenities of the multi-winged mini-mansion included numerous fireplaces, mature and private gardens, a swimming pool and spa set well back from the rear of the house, a putting green, garage parking for six cars, and a two two story guest house perched atop the gated entry gate.***

*Our research indicates stone tiled security wall at the front of the house as well as the faux-quoins were added subsequent to Mister Colfer's ownership, which means he poo-pooed Your mama's unsolicited and rather more modern solution (scroll towards the bottom) to the front façade problems.

**With the exception of the courtyard-creating wall at the front of the house, the addition of the ersatz quoins, and a fresh coat of paint,  a quick comparison of current listing photos with those (still available online) listing photos from the time of Mister Colfer's 2011 purchase suggest Mister Colfer may not have undertaken any other significant cosmetic improvement projects. Listing details go on to note that the house has "newer copper plumbing, electrical and roof" but Your Mama, of course, has no idea how new these newer—and costly and important—mechanical upgrades are.

****Keep in mind, children, we have it on good authority that Mister Murphy has already embarked on an extensive overhaul of the property and the result, which will surely be in a fashion publishable in a glossy shelter magazine, may or may not adhere to the above mentioned measurements and features.

****Your Mama can't help it but we just get a decorative rash from this vessel sink mega-trend that we really, really, really hope soon reaches its expiration date. 

listing photos (Colfer): Lighthouse Property
listing photos (Murphy): PostRain Productions for Gibson International


Anonymous said...

Did Ryan ever sell his Laguna place? Anyone..anyone??

Anonymous said...

The boy bought this when he was 21. It's bright and clean. Where I'm from, using a machine gun to hunt a bunny rabbit might be considered overkill.

Anonymous said...

It's a shame Mr. Colfer didn't refer to the understated solution you came up with for the exterior on his home in 2011.

Instead, he took a incredibly plain façade and made it plain ugly.

Petra's said...

Blech. Both him & that house.

Anonymous said...

What he did to that poor house is criminal. Possibly the ugliest house I have ever seen. If he had just taken Mama's advice it would have been quite lovely. wonk wonk.

Sandpiper said...

Goodness sakes Mama, your preemptive wooden spoon is locked and loaded on this one.

I read down through your whoopin' warnings. Now, just wanna give you a big sloppy PhotoShop smooch. Simply genious! xoxo

One little thought Mama, and you solicited it so I'm not being sassy.

The existing stucco is a miserable undulating lumpy bumpy (technical terms) mess -- thinly slopped over a wavy substraight. Maybe rescue and refine with a new thick top coat something like this this?

Little aside: Thanks to my stealth remote control reflexes, have never seen GLEE.

Anonymous said...

Blasphemy, I know, but I prefer what Colfer did with the outside to what Mama suggested. No matter, I'm sure he's moved on to bigger and better things, although the view was nice.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I do not mind this house at all and from the other side it looks pretty neat. It's light, airy, and has phenomenal views. Not everyone wants to spend a fortune redoing and this was only a starter home. If he makes a couple of bucks from it, all to the good!

lil' gay boy said...

THAT little gay boy should have burned it down when he had the chance...