Thursday, November 18, 2010

UPDATE: Lisa Vanderpump

Yesterday Your Mama worked out a real estate rumor about "housewife" Lisa Vanderpump from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills who several sources told us wants to sell her massive Richard Landry designed mansion up in the fancy-schmancy Beverly Park community so that she and her huzband Ken Todd can move to a smaller house.

We heard from Brenda Blabsitall that she wanted $35,000,000 but thanks to several other in-the-know children, we've come across a property website set up by the listing agent, none other than Mauricio Umansky, the hunky huzband of Miz Vanderpump's fellow "housewife" Kyle Richards. The property website reveals that the official off-market asking price for the Vanderpump-Todd mansion is not thirty-five million but $29,000,000.

The information presented on the property website includes an accurate bedroom and pooper count–7 and 10 respectively–and a couple dozen lush photographs of the mansion that includes two offices, an über-glam mirrored dining room table, a kitchen with concrete counter tops and smoked glass upper cabinets, and a billiard room with black walls and black wall to wall carpeting that we're certain makes their house gay Cedric want to murder them every time he has to pick the lint out of it.

There are also photos of Miz Vanderpump's behemoth boo-dwar, which includes a gleaming bathroom where the cabinet doors are done up with blush pink tufted velvet and trimmed with mirrors. We also get a peep into her sizable shoe and handbag room where Your Mama counted no fewer than six Hèrmes Birkin bags: white, orange, lime green, two pink, natch, and one heinously expensive brown crocodile skin number. That's enough Hermes handbags, hunnies, to put a child through a good college.

The guest rooms at the Vanderpump-Todd residence are, as expected, 5-star hotel style decorative fantasias of white slip covered things, gauzy cream-colored curtains, platinum gewgaws, crystal chandeliers, mirrored surfaces, and animal pelt throws and rugs.

It's far far far too fussy and feminine for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's decorative palettes, but it's also all amazing and fascinating and, in its way, rather fabulous. Even though both the house and the day-core shout, "I am so rich it's just sick," it also, somehow, manages to look like an actual home where it's okay to put your feet on the furniture–"Oh, don't worry, darlin' we'll just replace it if it gets dirty." Or maybe, despite all the frippery she surrounds herself with, we find that we actually like Miz Vanderpump and as such give her a bit of a pass on the day-core here and there. Or are we just going soft in our dotage?

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Another quasi hotel masquerading as a residence. Nary an authentic item in sight other than the requisite Hermes bags. Sad and too bad......it's all on her back. Typical of the "bounder". In fox hunting language that is the term for crude folks always over riding and pushing to the front of the field. This behavior seems to be rampant in BH. Very sad.

Matt from NYC said...

....if this house decor could WALK THE RED CARPET...Joan Rivers would literally spit in a girls face !
Mama did you take a nerve pill?

Anonymous said...

Mama, you did give her a very fat pass on the day-core. It is hideous. And that "art"? The snow leopard paining? I almost barfed my drink on the keyboard! The only thing I liked was the flowers and the olive trees outside. Everything else screams "I am a cheap hotel that wants to look like a Four Seasons!"

Anonymous said...

http://www.truth-out.org/bill-moyers-money-fights-hard-and-it-fights-dirty64766

TheVinylVillager said...

You are most certainly going soft mama. Did someone slip something into your morning pitcher of gin and tonics??

A damned purple pool table?
A painting of some sort of leopard over the mantel? And what is that? A painting of Lucille damn Ball up in the family room?

Not to mention the acres of ivory.

Mama, are we looking at the same house??

(I find it amusing that todays word verification is "Restylan" something no doubt injected into every nook and cranny of whichever real housewife you care to name)

Anonymous said...

You folks can say whatever you like. The house is definitely done-up-to-heaven but it looks like someone loves living there and like Mama said it appears to be a HOME not just a house.

So often I'm in the BH mansions that look like they belong to someone other than the owner. That's just how detached some people are from their house.

Lisa gets a pass in my book too. She looks like fun

Anonymous said...

WOW!! You people are all crazy!! This place is AMAZING (minus-the paintings) Heaven on earth!!

Anonymous said...

This house comes across far better in the video than it does in photos.

I have to say...the gardens of this home are absolutely ridiculously beautiful. That pool area? Those Hedges? AMAZING.

Anonymous said...

Kyle's house was on the market as well until 2 days ago.

commentator said...

The interior and exterior design of the house itself is really plain and boring - take the over the top furniture out and you have the same style and detail level of a 2,500 SF tract house in Valencia, but in a 15,000 SF mansion in Beverly Park. That really irks me. When it's said, "they don't build them like they used to", this house is a prime example.

However, I think the grounds (including the outdoor living room, gardens, lawns, pool, tennis court) are beautiful and look very easy to use and live in year round, especially in Southern California.

Really the only things I like are the massive mature hedges and the grounds - the house itself needs to be either massively remodeled into something more authentic, or torn down.

Regarding Vanderpump herself: I generally loathe all these "housewife" types on all these shows, but I do love her as she seems legitimately real, aware of herself and what she has, and not overly full of herself. Also, I will say that aside from the divorced one with 93 kids who is renting, at least the BH housewives all have real money compared to OC, ATL, NJ, etc.

Anonymous said...

I love her house and I love her.
She is my favorite housewife.
I was right.
When I first saw her house I figured it was about $30 million and it is.

Housey said...

My first impression is that it's really girly. It would be a great place for a single or older woman with no children to live.

The master suite is very girly. Pink cabinets in the bathroom, pink curtains, diamonds and pearls everywhere. I can't see a man being happy with this for a bedroom.

Even if you remove the furniture, you still have the decor. Unless your tastes are exactly like hers, you'll be in for a lot of expensive work. I guess she never figured she'd sell it.

Anonymous said...

I had not seen the TRHOBH until Mama referred me to Miss Vanderpump's house tour video the other day. That led to some viewing on the Bravo site of various segments from the series, and I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but these ladies actually have more class and style (yeah, I know, it's all relative), than any of the other housewives - including those New York gals. And Lisa Vanderpump is the bomb. She will get work out of this if she wants it, not that she appears to need it.
Above commenter is absolutely right, the house looks much, much better in the video than in these pictures for some reason.

Anonymous said...

To 12:07

This house was designed by Richard Landry and I can assure is NOTHING like a tract home. Saying so makes no sense whatsoever.

This house is constructed in the truest classical form. Whether or not you like the decor is pointless. The person who has the $$$ for it won't be looking to keep the drapes...

Anonymous said...

here is the listing for Kyle's modern house:
http://laluxuryestates.com/15519-Casiano-Court-a181101.html

Anonymous said...

I love her in that show! Her & her neighbor across the street [Maloof] seem the most down to earth & genuine ...

I personally think Beverly Park is a visual monstrosity & the McMansions are not my style but I like her as a person ...

Anonymous said...

The person buying it might not be looking at the drapes... but will be looking and acres upon acres of white/beige carpeting (I don't care if expensive, still looks like cheap 80s carpet), and miles of "contractor special" off white walls. The grounds are beautiful, but all those stupid statues and urns need to go. Unless you own something over a 100 years old which is located in Europe and comes with original statues, don't put them... anywhere. This has nothing to do with the personality of the owner.

Anonymous said...

A house this size needs at least fifty acres or more of grounds around it. All these LA mansions are squeezed onto lots like sardines in a can. Vulgar.
PS: how does one get a name like Vanderpump? She needs to watch her diet or she'll soon be called Vanderplump.

luke220 said...

The gardens looked beautiful on last night's show. The funniest scene was watching Adrienne walking across the street for coffee at Lisa's, having to open two sets of gates in order to get there.

Poor Camille. I think that Kyle is a bit nutty.

Yes, Lisa is fabulous. More class than all of the other housewives combined.

Anonymous said...

You can rest assured that with brutal murder of Ronni Chasen on Whittier Drive in Beverly Hills and six prominent casting directors threatened with death, that the unending frenzy of Hollywood's conspicuous consumption is about to shift in ways you can only now barely percieve.

Rosco Mare said...

Another reason to love the beautiful and stylish Lisa is that her restaurant generously donates food to the weekly lunch for homeless people that is sponsored by the local Episcopal Church.

Luis H said...

Mama, I know you don't really watch The housewives show, but on last week's episode, Lisa's friend, Mohamed, cohabitates a palatial 60000+ sq feet home with a slenderish 25 yr old girlfriend. where is that home, ehr, petite hotel?

Anonymous said...

That house belongs to Mohamed Hadid. The Home is called Le Belvedere, it was on the market for over $80 million. I think it finally sold for $55 million.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you have gone soft. It's okay, Lisa is fantastic and her home is truly beautiful. Cosmetic changes can be easily made to unLisa the place if you wanted to. But why would you want to? I wouldn't touch the closet.

Did you see that she got attacked at the Polo Lounge? Sad.

Anonymous said...

i counted 9 Birkins...

Anonymous said...

Some of the interiors decoration is outdated... The best features are the outside balconies... just love them!!! I would change the whole inside decoration to a more contemporary one... a little bit more colors and ambiance...

Anonymous said...

Lisa and Kyle are seemingly true to live, I love how much lisa and her husband care for each other, and how she simply has fun, it exudes from her when But i must say, i used to tivo "medium" whose only ounce of class is protrayed beautifully by Ms. Arquette who did such a great job portraying a crazy
self-serving dumb ass, who has in 1 nite ruined a fabulous show by being such a mean tramp. &camille "birds of a feather" dumb ass, no class, they let PORTRAY her on that episode,