Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Rush Limbaugh Makes Good On Promise To Sell His New York City Apartment



SELLER: Rush Limbaugh
LOCATION: Fifth Avenue, New York, NY
PRICE: $13,950,000
SIZE: 4,661 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last spring, right wing radio talk show blowhard Rush Limbaugh made a big stink about selling his New York City apartment due to what he called, "stupid, punitive, and massive tax increases" put into place by outgoing and unpopular New York governor David Patterson. There were few New Yorkers–and certainly none Your Mama knows–who publicly mourned the potential loss of the proudly vitriolic shit stirrer. Mister Limbaugh, who spends most of his time in posh Palm Beach, FL, is finally making good on his–as it turns out–not so idle threat to dump his New York City digs. The button pushing pasha of conservative commentators recently listed his full floor Fifth Avenue condominium with an asking price of $13,950,000.

When Your Mama clicked and clacked on over to the online property listing for ol' Rush's penthouse pad, much to our shock and awe we realized that over the last couple of days we'd three times spent far too much time staring at the listing photographs, our big mouth hanging open with bamboozle and bewilderment over the mortifying murals painted on far too many of the walls and ceilings of this apartment. We were so vexed and perplexed by the monstrous and downright weird murals that even after viewing the listing three separate times we plum forgot to have our customary peep and poke around the property records. Had we done so we would have discovered the apartment is owned through a trust whose name can be quite easily linked directly back to Mister Limbaugh's Palm Beach residence.

Your Mama was spared having to put that property puzzle together by the good folks at Gawker–or maybe is was the gal at the New York Post–who earlier today broke the news of Mister Limbaugh heaving his penthouse onto the market. Property records show that the fire breathing Republican dragon picked up his full floor Fifth Avenue condo way back in April of 1994 for somewhere in the neighborhood of five million buck. This would have been just before he was married for a third time to former aerobics instructor Marta Fitzgerald. The now erstwhile lovebirds were, it might humor the children to know, married at the home of Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas who officiated the nuptials.

The couple went, amicably he says, to the court of dee-vorce in 2004. That was not long after Mister Limbaugh admitted to having a thing for Oxycontin, an ugly situation that led to a stint in rehab, and not long before he was arrested and charged with "doctor shopping," presumably for his Oxycontin fix. Mister Limbaugh pleaded not guilty, natch, and the charge was dropped after he agreed to a $30,000 fine and some kind of drug therapy treatment program. He has, by all accounts complied. Ironically, prior to admitting to his own illegal drug use, Mister Limbaugh advocated for jailing illegal drug users. However, it seems that what is good for the goose was not good for Mister Limbaugh's gander otherwise he'd have had to put himself in the pokey (rather than one of the posh Arizona drug rehab centers) for being a prescription pill popper.

Anyhoo, listing information shows the 4,661 square foot condo carries colossal monthly maintenance and taxes that combined total $13,360. Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that amount of moolah is well above the average monthly income of most of Mister Limbaugh's core demographic. Listing information also indicates the apartment contains 10 rooms with 4 bedrooms, 5.5 poopers and 4 terraces, two of which have direct Central Park views.

Mister Limbaugh's sky mansion, according to listing information, offers direct elevator entry and a double wide living room with a fireplace and windows on three sides that give stunning views of Central Park. The formal dining room is also wrapped in windows on three sides, offers views of Central Park, opens to two terraces and sits adjacent to the eat-in kitchen. Other rooms include a wood paneled library/den and a media room that opens to a very narrow, west facing terrace.

The bedroom wing, on the east side of the apartment, is comprised of three family or guest bedrooms, each with an en suite pooper and one that opens to another very narrow terrace. The master suite is entered through a private foyer flanked by his and her poopers and dressing rooms. Your Mama would like to direct the childrens' attention to the brass chandelier in the all beige master pooper. Lo-ward have mercy puppies, could there anything more sissy than having a damn chandelier in a man's pooper? Don't get Your Mama wrong; We love us some sissy. We're just surprised Mister Limbaugh does too.

The apartment is completed by a storage space in the basement and a separate staff room located on the building's third floor that is so oddly configured and small that it would be an overt punishment to ask a staff person to actually occupy the room. Certainly our imperious house gurl Svetlana would sooner tear Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter limb from limb rather than endure such ludicrously Lilliputian living quarters.

The apartment building, a pre-war affair originally built in 1928 as the Adam Hotel, was converted to condos in the early 1990s and full time doorman and concierge services provide the building with white glove services. The building does, actually, face Fifth Avenue but rather East 86th Street. The developer was able to snag a Fifth Avenue address by purchasing some contiguous air rights, possibly over the Duke Semans mansion next door that is owned by billionaire Tamir Sapir and for sale for $50,00,000. In addition to the massive and not very pre-war sized picture windows throughout, Mister Limbaugh's spread has hand painted gold leaf moldings, a hand-cut patterned marble floor in the entrance hall, herringbone mahogany floors in the public rooms, wall to wall carpeting in the bedrooms, walls upholstered in Fortuna fabric–whatever that is–and scads of those maudlin, hand painted murals we mentioned earlier. The murals were, according to listing information, hand painted by a "renowned" artist named Richard Smith. Your Mama has never heard of this Smith person but, then again and thankfully, we don't really run in a murals on the walls and ceilings sort of crowd.

Through the doors of the library/den, a bucolic and watery landscape mural that includes a flowering pink cherry tree is painted on the wall in a columned ante room that has rounded corners and leads into the living room, which itself has a clunky, coffered ceiling painted to resemble tree branches and a cloudy blue sky. The beamed ceiling of the formal dining has another mural of a cloudy sky painted into an oval shape and surrounded by landscapes scenes in each of the four corners. The mural madness continues into at least one of the guest bedrooms where we find a supremely oppressive tropical scene, complete with a couple of criss-crossed palm trees. The mural covers the entire wall opposite the four poster bed and to gives the room a sad look of a cheap motel three, long blocks off that beach that is–for some bizarre reason–trying and failing to attract a rich, stuffy and elderly clientele from some place like rural Virginia.

The most ornate and visually complex mural was saved for the master bedroom, which is all did up and done over in an elaborately feminine day-core. This despite the fact that there hasn't been a Ladee of the Limbaugh House since sometime in 2003 or 4. The walls have insets upholstered in a rose colored fabric that looks to Your Mama more like patterned taffeta than anything else. The windows are treated with the same rose colored fabric fashioned into drapery that is swagged across the top of the windows, edged with dangling pom-poms and pooled in pathetic little heaps on the kinda rose-y kinda beige-y carpeting. On one side of the room, an ornate armoire stands in the corner–probably with a tee-vee in it–and on the other, a womanly shaped chaise upholstered in a dark rose colored and patterned fabric. Next to that very grandmotherly chaise sits a gilded commode on top of which is–much to Your Mama's horror–a multi-colored silk flower arrangement.

Looking up we find the all to expected mural of a cloudy sky surrounded and festooned with flowered garlands. In the center of the cloudy part of the mural two white doves hold a garland in their little beaks as if they are the ones responsible for placing all those flowered garlands around the faux sky. It's all just so depressingly mawkish that we can barely stand to look at it and yet we can't seem to keep from looking at it, feeling stricken with a terror that cleaves deep into our decorative heart. Just about the only thing remotely masculine that Your Mama can find in Mister Limbaugh's master bedroom is the phallic four poster bed the burly man tucks into when visiting the Big Apple. We recognize that this day-core may very well be left over from his third marriage to Marta the former aerobics instructor. But, children, that relationship swirled down the terlit of love way back in 2004. Your Mama can't help but think there's something rather odd, creepy even, for a man to keep to such overtly, almost comically feminine day-core for so long after his dee-vorce. Particularly for a man like Mister Limbaugh who has a long history of making fun of homosexuals for what he sees as their (stereotypically) effeminate ways.

Mister Limbaugh's primary residence is an oceanfront estate in hoity toity Palm Beach, FL. The prop records are a wee bit confusing–or we're just too far into our trio of afternoon gin and tonics–and depending on where we look, show he purchased the property either in February of 1996 for $6,700,000 or June of 1998 for $3,900,000. The Palm Beach County public property records show the property spans 2.9202 acres and includes a beast of a mansion with 9 bedrooms and 11 poopers. The tax man shows the property has an assessed value of $24,634,744, a staggering market value of $48,303,931, and an even more jaw dropping 2009 tax liability of $451,212.42. Oddly enough, the Palm Beach tax man records show that the taxes on his Florida estate have been hiked by $48,271 just since 2007. So maybe ol' Rush is gonna get his panties in a bunch about that shit too and leave the state of Florida due to the steeply escalating taxes on his lavish estate.

Now then, before any of you people of the conservative persuasion get on your high horses and start sassing Your Mama, calling us vulgar names and telling us to stick to real estate and blah blah blah, please take note of a few things:

1. This is our little blog and we can say whatever we damn well please.

2. We talk friendly smack about everyone regardless of their politics, proclivities and points of view.

3. Mister Limbaugh himself says very controversial and often disrespectful things about people every damn day and his fans eat it up like a horse in a hay factory. If ol' rabble rousing Rush can dish it out, then surely he and his fervent acolytes can take a few blunted digs by a booze brained writer obsessed with the entirely frivolous subject of celebrity real estate.

4. In an effort to be–as they so humorously say at Fox News–fair and balanced, we'll conclude by saying that to his credit Mister Limbaugh donates time and some of his many, many, many millions to charitable causes. He heads up a telethon to raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and he spearheads an annual fundraising drive for the Marine Corp-Law Enforcement Foundation which provides scholarships to children of Marines and law enforcement folks who have died during the line of duty. And these, to borrow a coined phrase from big, bad Martha Stewart, are good things.

source: Corcoran

53 comments:

chris said...

Stupidity, ain't it wonderful, and....profitable.

chris said...

"...he spearheads an annual fundraising drive for the Marine Corp-Law Enforcement Foundation which provides scholarships to children of Marines and law enforcement folks who have died during the line of duty."

I'd say gross disgusting hypocrisy since he has been a fervent supporter of the imperial wars in which they were killed. Quite like the US in Afghanistan that "apologizes"
for killing women and chilren (by mistake of course) by giving the survivors $50 or so.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God! Please: the interior designer must be jailed to have commited such a horrible crime against the basic laws of taste and harmony...
I don't know that man but if his flat is the expression of his caracter, I am glad not being one of his friend... Really money can't buy taste and culture...
I hope the buyer will get a discount with all the work that will have to be done to change that!
Pierre from France

Anonymous said...

Appropriately vulgar decor in the extreme. I'd hate to think of anything that could be worse.

Anonymous said...

Lots of Auntie rooms there and plenty of places to eat.

StPaulSnowman said...

There are very few things too hideous to blame on politics..........this just may be one of them.

chris said...

Re the maid's room: well what do you think serfs and peasants deserve? After all, it does have a window so that if she doesn't like it she can always jump.

Jackie Oh No said...

I'm dashing out to score some Oxycontin myself after looking at this heap! And the monthlies!

Anonymous said...

This is, to me, the very picture of the way arriviste people with no class think people with class live. The problem is it's not.

The mural in the entrance hall doesn't seem so bad and alone might be okay.When you tack on all the other tacky murals it's just far too much of what might have been a pearl in a pile of poop.

Madam Pince said...

According to the scandal sheets back in the day, the nice gay decorator (whose name I disremember) made some suggestions and "to the trade" connections to Miz Limbaugh, then was fired without renumeration. Miz El Rushbo reportedly went on to commit this interior desecration all by herself. Nothing about its ugliness surprises me; it mirrors the owner.

To Mama said...

Mama, give us newcomers an example of your making fun of a left wing liberal

The Down East Dilettante said...

MIGOD! what a loss to New York.

So this is what mean, irrational, bilious behavior will buy...god, it's great to be an American.

And wow, talk about gay interiors...I think our Rush is a nancy boy.

Ugh. the idea of Rush being one of us would make me go straight.

Anonymous said...

All in all, doesn't this look just like Joan Rivers' NYC apartment from a few months back? I guess when Joan and Rush are the same, that means big-money show business cancels out political affiliation. I'm lovin' the library myself. That desk chair looks suspiciously unused, as tho' a big, white, doughy, drug-addled ass had never once sat it in. And look at them shelves lined with leather-bound volumes of what is most likely back issues of Reader's Digest (large-print edition).

Bob said...

I know he made a bit deal out of the fact that he was putting this place on the market at the time, but is there any suggestion he'd actually spent any serious amount of time in New York in the last decade?

My understanding is that he rarely leaves his Palm Beach compound (which is made up of several properties; hence the differing purchase dates and prices). It includes a recording studio, which means he really has no reason to leave, as he works from home.

Anonymous said...

Those are not bound leather editions of "Readers Digest." Those are bound leather editions of "Honcho" and "Inches."

Crowley said...

Mural madness indeed! Awful interiors, incredible floorplan. Horrible horrible horrible man.

Great write-up, as usual, Mama!!

Anonymous said...

...oh my good christ

Bob Hadenuff said...

"I am moving to Manhattan in a month. "

Between the assholiness of this blog and the douchebags bragging about moving here, I will be glad to leave you flaming liberal morons to the city you will proudly turn into Detroit.

And I couldn't give two fucks you are glad to see me leave. The only consolation is knowing you obamunist turdletts are flocking to NY(less of you where-ever sane people like we move to) so you can pay all the taxes and suck up all the rough trade/crime.

final presentation said...

Wow. This is what they call "unsurpassed elegance" Mama. What's trooly wonderful here is that the surfeit of highly luxurious finishes and amenties(chaser lights that ring the shiny mahoganee studiolo - or is that just a liberry?) successfully manage to erradicate any vestiges of a pre-war CPE apartment! It's almost as though a suite of discreetlee opulant rooms from Trump Plaza New Rochelle, along with their soaring eight-foot ceilings, have been magically transported to Fifth Avenue!

Clearly these salons, with their generously proportioned egg-and-dart mouldings above, and heirloom carpets underfoot, belong to a cultivated individual. Perhaps the impressive plaster replica of the Louvre's "Winged Victory Of Samothrace" in the dining room was aquired on the young Marquis Limbaugh's European "Grand Tour". In any case, one is tragically reminded of his 2003 boycott of all things Franch. He may finally be moving out, but Limbaugh - at least metaphorically - bid adieu to these elegant boiseries and objets d'art seven years ago...


PS Perhaps the walls are upholstered in Fortuny fabric?

Anonymous said...

One reason he might be selling is because the bathtub looks a bit small for him. Of course I suppose he could enlarge it, but why bother? In Florida he can just lather up the pool and have a nice soapy swim.

Anonymous said...

He can move into Nic Cage's house in Vegas.

I hear Nevada has low taxes and dirt cheap property.

Anonymous said...

That library has the distinct smell of Plege furinture clearner coming from it and its not lemon fresh.

Anonymous said...

I'm a conservative and I like Rush, but this apartment makes me want to eat my barf.

Anonymous said...

His apartment is as repulsive as he is.

All my gay friends always say the most homophobic are usually the most curious after a couple of drinks! Anyone who's so vile towards gays is just covering up their own insecurities - lets face it, Rush is as gay as Elton, he's just scared to come out the closet!

N.Y says, "Good F*cking Riddance"

Anonymous said...

Barf. Blubberella’s NY maxipad is so old lady, my god. Did someone runoff with the doilies? One can almost see the pork rind crumbs and preparation H stains on the furniture. Looks like the reception rooms for the “Burning Cross School for Girls.” Missy better break out a can of “BUTCH”, like yesterday.

Georgica Pond said...

Lovely to have Babe Parish back to remind me of The Madonna Inn! How funny!

Anonymous said...

I really doubt Rush is a gay.

Carla Ridge said...

Do you think he yells "BITCH!" when he's drinking in the kitchen at fictional neighbor Lucile Ostero?

Anonymous said...

Got to love the tropical mural on the bedroom wall. Just perfect for NYC....NOT!

I wonder if he has a mural of the Rams on another wall with him in the owners booth???

Dream on Rush!

Carla Ridge said...

Alas, I wish I could also take credit for this comment made on CityFile: "I wonder what kind of sound Rush's fat ass made when he sat on the leather cushion next to the tub to rub lamisil onto his cloven hooves."

And next time, I very well might, LOL.

midTN said...

*** YOU GO RUSH ***

(lol....it's like shooting liberals in a barrel)

brian in seattle said...

It's not too surprising that his tastes lean towards the despotic (ex. Hussein, Saddam, late of Baghdad). But I am completely flummoxed by the Mac in the library. I really pictured Rush as a Windows kind of guy. I'm a little shaken to my core.

To Chris: said...

To Chris:

I can see that you are still in your adolescence stage as your head is in the clouds. You are simplifying life and the world like a child, since most likely you have been sheltered either in academics or the Westside, not real life.

There are numerous reasons that we have gone to war with other nations, including the middle east. Even your buddy Obama went back on his promise to leave after actually seeing true military intelligence.

And yes, one of the reasons that we are there is to secure oil rights for the entire world, since one flame up in either Iran or Saudi could cause oil shortages and extreme price hikes world wide.

And Chris, until your Prius works on solar or if you want to ride your tricycle to Palm Springs, even you will be affected. Another reason would be to have a stage in the Middle East to help allies such as Israel and others and protect them from terrorists who could disrupt the world.

And lastly Chris, how naiive of you to think that the Muslim terrorists will leave you alone and not come after you in W. Hollywood if you do not bother them. A child you are, they are trying every day to come get you, and our brave military is protecting your flaming ass from them, so GROW UP CHRIS!

Anonymous said...

It's hilarious that such an angry little man would live in an apartment decorated for Marie Antoinette.

Anonymous said...

Even though the address says "Fifth Avenue", the building is on East 86th street- with NO FIFTH AVENUE FRONTAGE!
The developer petitioned the city for an address change, because the Neue Gallery, which is DIRECTLY ON Fifth Avenue, is landmarked and can't be torn down and replaced by a tower.
If it was, Rush's apartment would have no direct park views.

Imma Gay said...

To To all the Gays:

I hate to break it to you but there are a fair number of states that do in fact allow gay marriage and there are a fair number of countries outside the US that do indeed allow gay marriage.

While you yourself may not like that and will never think gay marriage is "okay," that's really beside the point. You are entitled to and have a right to believe that and to be vocal about it. What you are not entitled to is the right to impose your beliefs on others and/or demand they live their lives only within the strict parameters YOU set forth.

You are correct about one thing though, being opposed to gayness does not automatically make a person a closeted homosexual.

As I'm sure you know because you seem like someone who pays attention to such things, there have been a large number of people in your anti-gay camp who very publicly denounced gayness in the most angry ways and who were then found out to be, well, cock suckers. There's Ted Haggard, and that stupid foot tapping Larry Craig, Mark Foley. Shall I go on?

So you can see, if you'll let yourself, why some people get suspicious of others who are so fervently adamant about such things. There's a kind of self-loathing that tends to express itself in anger and public denunciations of the very thing that one loathes about oneself.

I'm not saying R.L. is gay. Indeed, I hope he's not. I don't particularly want him in my pup tent. But, come on, even you have to admit his apartment is pretty girly.

It looks like the home of an old school queen. It does. I know you've probably never been in the home of an old school queen, but this is what it would look like if you did.

Also, just so that you know, it's really not important to gay people that people such as you, who clearly opposes homosexuality with a passion, approve of us. It really isn't. It's no more important to us that you approve of us than it is to you that we gays approve of your life.

Frankly, your life is none of my business. I only wish that you felt my life was none of yours.

Anonymous said...

poster March 3, 2010 11:23 AM

Oh go back to your double-wide and fry something.

Typical uneducated right wing trailer trash.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know Rush Was gay?

But there's gotta be a large closet in there his fatass has been hiding in.

Anonymous said...

Imma Gay I love you!

Anonymous said...

So Rushy-boy-baby has built a home fit for his Mummsy. What else would one expect from a bully! I wonder if one of the un-photographed bedrooms is decorated like a nursery complete with man-baby diapers for him to 'play' in.

And a shout out to all the ditto heads that have come to get decorating tips from their master and ruler. Welcome!

Anonymous said...

Best RealEstalker column evah! Great work! My grandma had a coffee table like the one in Rush's living room. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I knew this posting would stir up some comments, but I had no idea we actually had any repubs around here! See this blog is written with a sense of humor, and about 99.99999% of conservatives wouldn't know humor if it kicked them in their uptight asses.

The guy is a dick. He makes a ton of money preaching to a choir of dittoheads, mostly dumb hicks from the South and the fearful age 65+ crowd scattered across the nation. End of story.

You see, the only people that don't agree with me are the 300 million or so that don't listen to him.

Anonymous said...

Except for the palm tree mural (which looks like a guest room) it looks nice enough.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if it comes with a deep fryer in the kitchen for his daily chicken fried steak???

Kathryn McHinion said...

Excellent! The apartment is truly beautiful and has unique modern stylish design.

David said...

Imma Gay I love you too. Thank you for mentioning that about the approval, they don't seem to get it. I don't need approval, or tolerance, or even to be liked. I just need to be left alone.

Anonymous said...

Love how this story is around the same time a California Senator who SUPPORTED PROP 8 is arrested leaving a gay club with a guy - priceless!

TomTallis said...

Not much closet space, but the medicine cabinets are HUGE!

Coco Chanel said...

Some people think that luxury is the opposite of poverty. It is not. It is the opposite of vulgarity.

Anonymous said...

Why do so many right-wing Republican men live in rooms more suited to Russian hookers? Nothing about this apartment reads as masculine; isn't it interesting that so many of your readers respond to that?

Anonymous said...

I think there's a misunderstanding here. Before the flat was put on the market the Limbaughs moved out all of the really exquisite pieces. There was originally a one of a kind glass topped table supported by three Bronzed dolphins and a mermaid. There were also at least 20 hand painted oil paintings on velvet that took my breath away. The life size cararra marble statue of the Rushster himself stood in the main salon and a real fountain with lights that changed color stood in the foyer. Your really only seeing a shadow of the fully decorated place. Chatter is that even The Donald was green with envy!

Anonymous said...

There are so many comments i couldn't figure out if someone already made the correction, but when you mentioned the conversion of the Adams Hotel into condos in the early 90's, the air rights purchased by the developer to gain the 1049 Fifth Avenue adress weren't associated with Tamir Sapir's mansion on Fifth Avenue.
While indeed Mr. Sapir's house is currently listed at $50M, it is located at 1009 Fifth which is the south east corner of 5Th Ave and 82nd Street. The Mansion you are referring to is The Neue Gallery. It used to be the Yvo institute at the time of the Adams Hotel conversion.
Otherwise...love your blog!!

Anonymous said...

I think Elvis is indeed alive.