Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Kirsten Dunst Lists Nichols Canyon Crib

SELLER: Kirsten Dunst
LOCATION: Nichols Canyon Road, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,700,000
SIZE: 2,062 square feet, 3 bedrooms 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: An inviting Mid-Century home awaits atop the much desired Nichols Canyon area of the Hollywood Hills. Behind massive gates and a state of the art security system sits a home updated by Brian Murphy and designed by Hallworth Designs. This celebrity retreat comes complete with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. The living room hints at just a few of the luxuries of this home with heated floors, a pitched ceiling and exposed beams. Curl up with a book in front of the fireplace in the reading nook adjacent

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This morning, while swilling sugared up coffee and waiting for our afternoon appointment to roll around, we absent mindedly perused all the new listings around the dog friendly Runyan Canyon area–where Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter often walk our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly–and came across a modest if not cheap Nichols Canyon property listed at $1,700,000 that we immediately identified as being owned by actress Kristen Dunst who, for some reason, Your Mama likes to call Little Miss Kiki.

Along with her long and impressive list of film credits (The Virgin Suicides, Bring It On, Mona Lisa Smile, Marie Antoinette and, of course the Spider-Man franchise), Little Miss Kiki also has a long and impressive list of hook-ups, romantic liaisons and relationships with high profile males including but not limited to Drew Barrymore's on and off again boytoy Justin Long, actors Josh Hartnett, Ryan Gosling, Orlando Bloom, Andy Samberg, Zach Braff and Tobey Maguire, rock stars Johnny Borrell , Fabrizio Moretti and Adam Levine. But then again, what single Hollywood acktress of note hasn't Mister Levine laid?

Anyoo, property records show that Miss Dunst purchased her Nichols Canyon Road residence in December of 2003 for $1,250,000. This was back when Little Miss Kiki was paired up with up an up and coming superstar named Jake Gyllenhaal, who reportedly lived in sin with out Little Miss Kiki in this very house.

Listing information and property records indicate the modest house measures 2,062 square feet with 3 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom. The house hides behind solidly impressive gates and up a curving driveway to a small motor court with a small front facing two car garage where Little Miss Kiki and her current male companion–whomever that may be–can enter and exit without being snapped by the paps. Listing information also reveals the property is protected by a state of the art security system so any of you idiots who think it might be cute to go ringing up on Little Miss Kiki's bell should expect to be electrocuted, sprayed with mace, hosed down with boiling water and/or even worse.

For a small house, the the front entrance hall is large and is separated from the sunken formal living room by a pretty pair of capiz shell curtains painstakingly made by the lightening quick hands of a gal named Gwen who happens to be one of Your Mama's good pals back in the En-Why-Cee. The living room appears to have heated terrazzo floors, a peaked and beamed ceiling painted an airy white, navy walls (which sounds awful but does not look nearly as horrid as we might imagine), and a paned sliding glass door that opens to a large multi-level entertainment deck sitting in the tree tops at the front of the property.

The dining room sports glossy white floors, an even more shiny dining room table surrounded six dining room chairs and two wing back chairs on the ends, and the rear wall has been fitted with custom cabintery which makes for perfect storage for things like linens, board games and bongs. We're not saying Little Miss Kiki stores her bongs there, we're just saying that if she did have bongs to store, this would be an excellent spot for them.

The glossy white floors continue into the all stainless steel and marble kitchen which already has our imperious house gurl Svetlana turning cartwheels with conniption and looks nice if you don't have small children with filthy hands or canines with wet noses. A sky lit and all white breakfast area would feel a little bit surgical suite if it were not for the large teak table and chairs that provide a welcome relief to all the blinding stainless steel, glistening white floors and sleek white cabinetry.

In the family room, an entire wall has been custom fitted with gorgeous wood cabinetry that hides all the electronics and one of the Little Miss Kiki's many wing back chairs sits in the corner by the paned slider that opens to the front deck.

The high-gloss and slippery looking white wood floor is continued into the master bedroom where Little Miss Kiki and her team of nice gay decorators have kept in clean with just an over-sized upholstered headboard, heavy ivory curtains with a navy blue palm tree patten and another of wing back chair from Little Miss Kiki's collection. A secluded court yard area off the master bedroom has a patch of lawn for and an in ground spa for romantical evenings with whatever man-friend Little Miss Kiki currently fancies.

Property records and previous reports indicate that Miss Dunst will go far from homeless once someone snatched up her Nichols Canyon hideaway. In 2001 Miss Dunst purchased a 4,333 square foot house on Toluca Lake Avenue which we believe is occupied by her family. On the east coast, records show that in July of 2007 she forked over three million Spider Man dollars for an 8th floor co-operative crib in the same Canal Street building where rock star Michael Stipe forked over $5,750,000 for Casey Affleck's 8th floor unit in January of 2007.

34 comments:

The Preppy Pauper said...

And that children is how you do mid-century modern. GE-OR-GEOUS. Credit where credit is due: nice gay decorators have taken what could be a bland, featureless house and made it a cool west coast pad.

Anonymous said...

Either my eyes are lying to me, or those are some depressingly low ceilings. I don't like that, regardless how well decorated.

bentley said...

Same thought about the ceilings. I can feel the claustrophobia setting in.

I find the decor ho-hum and totally unispired. Perhaps I'm missing something. Or I just have shit taste. It seems it was decorated in the "Well, I bought it, I suoppose I should furnish it" frame of mind.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it CASEY Affleck?!?

pch said...

I totally dig those shell curtain things. Otherwise, not individual choices I'd make, but the overall effect is a very calming. Odd way to describe a house, I know, but it has a hushed, relaxed quality that's strangely appealing to me.

Anonymous said...

For me it is an ugly, boring, modernized house of a modern house. No more comment. No wonder she tries to kill herself--spice it up girl!!
That was mean. I take it back.

Mama's black sheep in WEHO,
Not playing nice.

Anonymous said...

Did she not complain not too long ago about being harrassed or stalked by a fan who tried to get into this house? Got a court order for him to stay away?

Anonymous said...

At $995,000 some youngin' might think it's a good buy; it's really not much of a house.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know where Gyllenhaal went after the breakup? He must have a house since he was reported to have held a birthday party for Witherspoon there. But where? One rumor is that he rents on Woodrow Wilson Dr. Another that he has moved in with Witherspoon. He does seem to live mainly at his girl friends' places. Odd.

Viva! said...

I loathe Kirsten Dunst...one of those actresses who hates being a 'star'...so not into being fabulous...always showing up to a premiere in some schmata that Courtney Love wouldn't be caught dead in.

No surprise, I hate the house. Those are some low ceilings and some oddly scaled rooms. Me no likey, at all.

Anonymous said...

She and her gay decorators did a nice job on this house considering it looked like a broke down Venice beach house before she bought it.

Nice area, nice house. Won't be on the market long.

Anonymous said...

The nice gay decorator certainly did put lipstick on this piggy. They obviously failed to take the next logical step; calling in the nice gay landscaper.

Anyhoo- too small and cramped for the money.

BTW- From what I hear, Kiki was (is?) hittin' much harder stuff than just the bong!

InALittleMinute said...

I do like the shell curtain wall.. gives it a different and unique decorating style...

Anonymous said...

Kiki is sometimes called "Kirsten
Drunkst" by Perezhilton who seems not to like her and was reported to booze to excess in public. She then went into rehab and claimed it was for "depression." Good try at spin. Do alcoholics get depressed when they can't get to a drink? Just askin'.

Anonymous said...

Zillow says the place is worth 1.39 million. The terrace at the bottom left is on the front of the house and apparently is shielded only by a row of trees from Nichols Canyon Road.

Outsmoker said...

Chubster Perez always looks like he has a bit of dried spit in the corner of his mouth. He is AntiKiki because she is an unapologetic smoker. GOGOKIKI! How annoying to have this lardass preach to us smokers.

angeleyes said...

I think her decorator(s) did a good job of making the home's interiors comfortable and casually interesting.

Anonymous said...

Must be great living in Los Angeles now.

I've heard of spa treatments or working out with a trainer, but you have an afternoon appointment "to roll around?"

How long do you roll and with whom?

How does this compare calorie-wise to other cardio workouts?

The image entices!

Anonymous said...

Zillow is NOT a good pricing tool in this marketplace as it does not present true comparables. Appraisers know that values should be determined "at arm's length" and should not include home sales from other neighborhoods or not of like size/quality. Zillow simply uses a map and throws together all sales in a large area, thus throwing a 2,200 sf condo in with a 2,200 sf single-family home, The former may include ZERO property while the latter, the single family home, may be situated on a desireable 10,000 sf lot, thus making the price value comparison with the condo null and void. Use caution when looking to Zillow for true, fair-market value of residential real estate.

:{} you know who said...

you are exactly right about zillow

they need to start knocking off at least 50% of their estimates in some cases 70-90%

just sayin

:{}

fly on the wall said...

Who cares about Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal?

The question is how many gay boys did Jake "entertain" while Kisten was away!

Anonymous said...

"He must have a house since he was reported to have held a birthday party for Witherspoon there."

That was tabloid showmance BS, but Jake Gyllenhaal does own a house and doesn't live with his beard Reese Witherspoon.

Anonymous said...

Zillow says my house price went up +14% since I bought it 2 years ago. Cyberhomes says it's unchanged. I would like to believe it, however, the truth is the value probably went down 1-2%. As much as I want to believe Zillow, I don't think it's right...

White Chocolate Mess said...

those ceilings! I don't think I could stand up on my hind legs in that house!

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know for a fact (and can prove it)that Jake is gay? I could see why the hookup with Witherspoon would be good for him if he is, but she doesn't get anything out of it. Is she that dumb?

Frau Schadenfreude said...

She gets a lot out of it if she hates sex but enjoys companionship. It must be hard for him to imagine what would happen to his career if he came out. Sad but true that it matters in Hollywood. He can always sneak a little Wurstli on the side.

Anonymous said...

Odd that there were no rumors when he was living with Dunst, but after Brokeback they began. All I have ever seen are rumors and hearsay. Nothing solid at all.

Anonymous said...

No, YOU and the masses in the mainstream became aware of the rumors (and Jake) after Brokeback. People in the LA/WeHo area and/or gay circles have known for YEARS. Anyway, about Kiki's house. The dark interiors of the rooms bother me the most, it makes them look too closed in and long, but I suppose that can be changed. The ceilings I could live with, they remind me of the cozy houses built in 1950s/60s Beverly Hills on Bedford and others in Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

Well, if so, that would make Dunst his first beard. Odd, in that she doesn't seem like the kind who would waste her time with a guy who wouldn't do "it".

ventura highway said...

Nice to know the fanfic spinners are spreading their wings.

Jake has been living with Reese since Dec. 2007, the rags found out about it several months later. He always leased the place in H. Hills. Lived with Kiki and now lives with Reese. Kiki wasn't a beard and neither is Reese, she ain't stupid.

Jake, Reese and her kids spend time at her place in Brentwood and her farm in Ojai. No such rumors existed in WEHO/LA before BBM came out, stop the BS.

Kiki and Reese wouldn't waste time with a guy who wouldn't do it so yes Reese and Jake are doing it, sorry fangirls.

PS: The house is fugly.

Tina Tot said...

I have to agree. Much as I might like JG to be a homo ('cause he's sexy), I just can't fathom what a woman like RW gets out of being a beard for him or anyone else for that matter.

She makes 15 or 20M a movie so she has no need for money, has two small children, is a devoted family woman, and has earned the respect of her peers. There's really nothing JG could do for her professionally...she's arguably a bigger star than he. And clearly she would get nothing personally from being a beard...I'm sure she has plenty of friends and family for companionship without having to playact being in love with JG.

And yes, JG does lease a house in the H. Hills near his parents old house.

As for Kiki's house, I rather like it. All the wood built ins are fantastic. Don't care for the stainless kitchen but... Sometimes you can put lipstick on a pig. Sure, it's still a pig, but not every house is, can be or ever will be a race horse and to argue that all the pigs should just be torn down is just silly and stupid.

Anonymous said...

kirsten dunst is veeeeeeery beautiful and sexy

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