Monday, May 11, 2009

UPDATE: Victoria Gotti

Ooo-wee children, some one's big ol' blond weave is all in a tangle today for sure...

Back in late December of 2008, Your Mama discussed the terrifying Long Island mansion of mobbed up mommy/writer/reality tee-vee star Victoria Gotti which she had on the market with an asking price of $3,500,000. The property has been for sale on and off for a number of years with an asking price as high as $4,800,000. Thanks to the Long Island Loleeda we've recently learned that it's currently priced at a significantly lower $2,300,000.

The Gotti estate, which includes a swimming pool, tennis court, stables, guesthouse, a tacky fountain or two, and a damn go-kart trak, stretches over four acres in the blue-blooded and old money enclave of Old Westbury, NY where it sits up against the very busy and disturbingly loud Long Island Expressway. Okay, we confess, the property doesn't actually butt up to the Long Island Expressway, there's a service road between the property at the expressway which means it's just a couple hundred feet at best from the expressway.

Anyhoo, the single mother of three disrespectful and spikey haired sons–who all proved themselves to be virtually incapable of stringing a complete sentence together on their thankfully canceled reality program Growing Up Gotti–has not managed to secure a buyer with taste sufficiently impaired to cough up a few million clams for the 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom architectural crime spree.

Not only has that Miz Gotti been stuck living up in this real estate white elephant that no one wants to buy, according to the folks at New York Post (via CityFile), bee-hawtcha stopped paying her damn mortgage way back in September of 2006 and now owes her bank a reported $650,000, a sitch-ee-ay-shun which tends to get the bank people all kinds of pissed off. After much legal wrangling, her bank has won the right boot Miz Gotti from her gaudy house of interior dee-zine horrors and try to sell the eyesore at auction.

As the children might expect, Miz Gotti ain't in the mood to be chit-chatting with the press about her financial pickle or about J.P. Morgan Chase giving her the heave-ho from her home. However, her mother seems to have a thing or two to say on the matter and is blaming the entire brouhaha on Miz Gotti's ex-husband Carmine Agnello declaring in the New York Post that, "The creep that he is, he took out a mortgage behind her back. She can't afford to pay."

Because Your Mama never likes to see anyone forced from their home, we'd like to offer poor Miz Gotti a little advice for scaring up some income in order to pay the rent on her new digs, wherever they may be. The powers that be are not going to let that moe-ron ex-governer of Illinois Rod Blagojevich participate in the next season of reality boob-toob disaster I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here. This means, of course, there's a spot open in the cast of seriously questionable characters that includes ex-model turned scary-faced plastic surgery disaster Janice Dickinson, hairrific American Idol reject Sanjaya Malakar and that obscene publicity slut Spencer Pratt and his no-talent wifey Heidi Montag. If we were Miz Gotti, which praize jeezis we are not, we'd have our agent on the horn yesterday begging the producers to put our 40-something year old ass on an airplane and let our outta control weave battle it out with the jungle in Costa Rica with all the other d-list celebrities desperate for a paycheck. Just a thought.

38 comments:

themomma48 said...

ROTFLMAO I'D ACTUALLY WATCH THE SHOW IF SHE WERE ON IT .... THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS !!

Anonymous said...

scandalous! the only thing that could have been better is if she burned the house down to get rid of it.

2009 will suck for the "rich" said...

Interesting.

Hasn't paid the mortgage since 2006?

I've noticed a couple of those in Hancock Park recently on Foreclosure.com.

Cat's out of the bag!

Anonymous said...

Most hideous house I've ever seen on this site. Or anywhere for that matter. Good luck to the bank trying to unload that monstrosity.

StPaulSnowman said...

Mama's analysis of the house, owner, kids is, as usual, spot on. It would almost be worth writing a screenplay for a disaster movie just to have an excuse to blow this abomination to smithereens. No army of gay decorators could help..........you can't shine shit.

Swimmin Wid Da Fishes said...

how the f--- does a mobster get a mortgage?

Anonymous said...

lmao i always hoped this family will get whats coming to them, and now they have! they had the worst tv show in history, and they werent at all interesting people to watch or breathe for that matter!

Anonymous said...

Swimmin:

From Bank of Joe.

Anonymous said...

Great post, Mama -- indeed it is an architectural and decorating crime spree--well said.

Anonymous said...

The name of the architect should be made public.

angeleyes said...

Oh dear, not this again, lmao. It got such a total shredding back in Dec. and deservedly so. I seriously hate seeing anyone fall on hard times, but have to wonder at Ms. Gotti's decision to remain in the house since 2006 without paying a dime knowing she was digging her hole ever deeper. I always assumed John Gotti was very wealthy. Guess not. Flawlessly entertaining writing today Mama. Just can't get enough :)

Anonymous said...

I think Victoria went through money like it was water. i would bet she has more real Estate out of the country, and bank accounts..

Anonymous said...

Wonderful summary, as ever Mama.

Looked back to your Dec 2008 pics ...OH MY EYES!!!

Jimmy said...

As Schiller put it:
"Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain."

Carmela Soprano said...

tear down!

TheDonald said...

Your house is pretty tasteless as well Carmela.

Carmela Soprano said...

we know where you live, Donald. Easy there.............

Anonymous said...

pu-leeze, 830, the Soprano swankienda is practically McKim Mead and White compared to this abortion.

News Review said...

So sad that the Landon family have 2 lose the amazing mansion.. Hope they can soon get over it.. They can surely afford 2 buy one..

thevinylvillage said...

Not only is it hideous in every sense of the word, but it doesnt even look to have been maintained!

Anonymous said...

The house, the owners and her kids are all a HOT MESS!
Her ex was in jail for years and there was a ton of money TRUST ME. The problem is that no one will buy it. We all know the three "R"s of real estate and this location is so bad truly. When you stand out in front of the house you hear the Long Island Expressway constantly. John Gotti her deceased father (Godfather) helped her to design the house and hence the reason of "people with bad taste tend to have a lot of it" She cannot sell it so the only way to unload it is to head into foreclosure. Victoria also owns a place down in Florida so no worries Chickens she is sitting pretty.

Anonymous said...

Florida eh?........so that's where she got the neck and jowls. Even the tv show makeup girl couldn't spackle those away.

Anonymous said...

Props, Mama!

Huffington Post used you as a source on their post about the same.

JLo said...

Here's what I don't understand - she got the house in the divorce settlement, so how could her ex-husband have taken out a mortgage behind her back? Surely records would have shown that the property was in in Madame's name only...and if said ex took out the mortgage, why would Madame be the one paying it (or not in this case...)?Someone needs to start fessing up...

Anonymous said...

Um, 1110-- one thing Victoria Gotti is not doing is "sitting pretty"-- or standing, reclining, or doing anything else "pretty." Haggus Baggus in the flesh. And so trashy. Good spread about this in today's Daily News.

Anonymous said...

The exterior shot looks like a crematorium.

Is that circular concrete/stone thing out front a trash receptacle?

Viva! said...

It's truly an architectural abortion. The most tasteless, disgusting, putrid pile of shit on Long Island...

That said, I actually dig Victoria, her gelled sons not so much...but Victoria, she I could have a bowl of pasta with and shoot the shit about Bonnie Fuller.

Good to know she has a place in Florida where she can cool her heels, hopefully it's waterfront so that she can wash all that self tanner off. Finally, y'all just know she's got millions in a Swiss account.

Anonymous said...

"Architectural Abortion"
Another great real estate term along with "Soft Serve Columns".

Joey Buttafucco said...

The most tasteless, disgusting, putrid pile of shit on Long Island...
wow! that be half of my relatives!

News Review said...

So sad that the Landon family have 2 lose the amazing mansion.. Hope they can soon get over it.. They can surely afford 2 buy one..

Anonymous said...

Landon?

Anonymous said...

News Review obviously is cross circuiting over the news of the death of Michael Landon's oldest son. This happens now and then.

Anonymous said...

I don't get why she doesn't sell the house for $950,000 and keep the difference owed, instead of being left with nothing?

Why doesn't it work this way?

Anonymous said...

8:00 - it's possible that there's a balloon payment of some sort upcoming that would increase the amount owed.

It's also possible that she can't find anyone to buy this pile for $950 - much less just shy of a mil.

Anonymous said...

The Victoria Gotti mansion is the new Grey Gardens!

StPaulSnowman said...

Yes..........with all of the tat and none of the interest or character.

Anonymous said...

The facade looks like a sooty mess. Was there a fire? Perhaps the fountain/trash receptacle out front doubled as a fire pit of sorts. She used it to burn through her cash.

lil' gay boy said...

"The facade looks like a sooty mess."

Last time I was there it looked close to abandoned; it has not been well maintained over the last few years with frost heaves in the drive, weeds coming up through the cracks everywhere, and just a general air of neglect. Oh, and the circular concrete structure in the drive is indeed the obligatory fountain.

As trailer-park white trash as a mob family can get, I must say this ––– rumor is that she had no hand in the planning or construction of this residential regurgitation; full kudos to he ex on that (I don't believe daddy ever stepped foot in the place as he was already luxuriating behind bars when they broke ground).

Not to worry, chilruns; she'll land on her back like she's always done...