Friday, May 8, 2009

The House of Ilene Chaiken

SELLER: Ilene Chaiken
LOCATION: Reppert Court, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,195,000
SIZE: 3,500 square feet (approx.), 4 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Architects own very private one of a kind home, set on almost an acre on a a quiet cul-de-sac this magical setting property comprises a collection of buildings including a guest house & two offices. Completely private it's perfect for a celebrity or an artist who wants to work from home. The property comprises of 4/6 bedrooms (depending on how space is used) along w/ pool.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in the olden days, when Your Mama first picked up our chop sticks and moved east to New York City, we frequently palled around with a crew of arty-farty lesbian ladees who were all friendly and cozy with another crew of budding female filmmakers that included Kim Peirce (Boys Don't Cry, Stop-Loss), Guinevere Turner (Go Fish, American Psycho) and Rose Troche (Go Fish). Besides all being ladees who like other ladees, these three woman have something else in common...they've all had a finger or two in The L Word pie. Miz Peirce directed at least one episode, Miz Turner directed and appeared in several episodes, and Miz Troche wrote, produced and directed a hefty number of episodes for the recently canceled program about a group of high drama gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender folks living it up in West Hollywood, CA.

All this brings us to the creator of The L Word, a successful lezbeeuhn ladee named Ilene Chaiken, whom Your Mama does not know nor have we ever met. Miz Chaiken and her ladee-mate, an English born architect named Miggi Hood, have long owned a very private pad in the Hollywood Hills which they recently put up for sale at $2,495,000, a figure that was quickly lowered to it's current asking price $2,195,000.

Property records show Mizzes Chaiken and Hood picked up their Reppert Court crib back in January of 1992 when they paid $650,000 for the near 1-acre property. Lawhd have mercy children, long gone are the glory days when a person could pick up property in a good part of Los Angeles for just six hundred and fifty thousand clams. Don't misunderstand Your Mama, that's still a staggering sum of money in most parts of the good ol' U.S. of A., but it ain't nothing in LaLa Land and it's certainly less then 1/3 of what it's going to cost someone to buy this property today.

Anyhoo, the Chaiken/Hood house, which we see as a modernized farmhouse meets a Richard Gluckman acolyte meets a 20th century modern furniture store on Beverly Boo-lay-vard, is located at the tail end of a short and scrubby cul-de-sac where a long, curvy driveway rises through the un-landscaped property to a motor court where half a dozen Lezburus and Priuses can be comfortably accommodated. The unassuming facade opens to crisp, clean, pared down and warmly minimal interior spaces that include a large (if uncomfortably low-ceilinged) living room with a wood burning fireplace, honey colored wide-plank wood floors, floor to ceiling built-in book cases filled with actual books (imagine that?) and an eclectic but impressive collection of vintage furniture from the forties, fifties and sixties.

The living room is open to the very spare and deliciously all-white gallery-like dining room which, as far as Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are concerned, is successfully saved from feeling overly stark and visually chilly by the large skylights, a second wood burning fireplace, a flag stone floor Your Mama is certain feels dee-voonly and softly abrasive on the bare foot, and a soo-blime honey colored wood and leather dining room set which we think was probably done by a fancy designer in the 1940s and probably cost more than most of the children's automobiles.

While we loathe the oppressive beige tiles on the kitchen floor which would be much better suited to a restaurant kitchen and we're more than a little surprised and disappointed about that frumpy beige slip-covered couch which looks like it was pushed up against the windows because it had no better place to be, we are are swooning for the wood ceiling that soars asymmetrically to a large skylight. Although we know few will feel the same way, we're cool with (most of) the deconstructed industrial elements of the kitchen (i.e. the hulking Vulcan brand range and restaurant prep tables) because it reminds Your Mama of many happy summers spent on the East End of Long Island in a similarly voluminous and deconstructed kitchen space located in a warehouse building that was once the town laundry and which had been converted to a solar powered residence owned by a much loved gay gal pal we called Flower. Memories, like the corners of our mind...

But we digress again...In addition to the main house, which listing information indicates includes 4-6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, two outbuildings house office or studio space and a pool side guest house where we find a kitchenette and a separate sleeping area that opens to a narrow terrace that extends into the treetops. The free form swimming pool is surrounded by the same flag stone as is on the floor in the dining room and a covered porch runs along the back of the house making for a cool and shaded spot to sip gin and tonics and watch well built guests skinny dip in the pretty pool below.

Listing information also indicates the lesbian ladees would be willing to lease the property at $9,500 per month.

34 comments:

Hippie Canyon said...

("A half a dozen Lezburus and Priuses." Oh, at least!) I am totally digging the cool vibe, despite the physical therapy clinic type shower/tub... Looks ideal for bathing my dog, but far too tacky for this pad. And I agree with Muh-maw, the deconstructed loft-like kitchen is a great space.

Julie said...

THIS is my new favorite blog! Snarky gossip and real estate, my two favorite things.

luke220 said...

I'd move the big white sofa into the living room and the black pieces into the rear den.

Anonymous said...

Not feeling it...this space is too bland for my taste.

bentley said...

"they've all had a finger or two in The L Word pie." How delightfully crass for a Friday afternoon. That's beer number two!

I dig this place, and agree about the kitchen. What an amazing space. However, I do prefer all pots and pans to be behind doors.

Finally, someone realizes that subjecting your guests to a fire burning the shit of their backs throughout dinner isn't cool.

Why must I type 'ouslo' to post?

pch said...

Don't love it; don't hate it. The mix and match additions, along with the furniture, make it feel rather like a Room & Board showroom.

I'm salivating over the driveway, though. Needs to be refinished, obviously, but I like the way it snakes up the hill.

I get to type "elsall" to post.

White Chocolate Mess said...

it's not perfect, but at least we got over the last few days of CITRUS colors! Have a great weekend y'all! Play safe and drive friendly!

Rich said...

Don't fill the pool too full or the guests might be flooded out. Looks as though the water level is higher than the floor of the guest house.

Anonymous said...

I agree, the ceiling is rather low. It bothers me quite a bit.

StPaulSnowman said...

Don't these ladies like art? There are some great walls in this place but no art...........could it be that hanging art would make the place look smaller to prospective buyers?

PebbleBeach said...

Ack and Ick! The only two things I like are the large, private lot and the big doors that open up to the outside.

Otherwise, to me this home seems like it was built in the 40s, inhabited by senior citizens and in need of a big time redo.

Anonymous said...

Where do Kate, Leisha and Erin live? Now there's some interesting reading!(Not so much 'where' but 'what'...house or apt etc...

With that price tag,does IC really want to sell?? We should take up a collection so TLW movie can be made. This house ain't goin' anywhere anytime soon,is my guess!

Thanks for the info on IC's house...it was interesting too.

bentley said...

You, too, WhiteChocolateMess!

Viva! said...

LOVE the pool...not enamoured with the rest of the place, particularly the kitchen...not a fan of THAT at all.

langtry said...

What about the bath/shower combo with the bizarre tap, shower head and multi-knobs, not to mention the shower curtain railing that repurposes the stretching rack contraption from the local Bally's?

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but after the driveway, this property just sucks. In that one photo, the off white sectional looks like it had slid to one side of the room after an earthquake! What were these rug munchers thinking?

Anonymous said...

It's a house that just screams 'awkward'. The room sizes and shapes seem very strange (maybe it's the angle the photos were taken) but it doesn't feel like it flows, and whilst it looks nice and airy in parts, it also has some very strange corners.

However, I love the rural feel - and if one could bear the thought of one's teacup chihuahua being carried off by a coyote, or a mid-scale quake drowning one's guests, one would quite like this as a weekend escape.

Word of the day, children, is kerento.

Alessandra said...

The word this morning is nessid. Sounds like some very bad acne.

I love the driveway, the privacy and the built-in bookshelves. I am interested in the vaulted wood ceiling in the kitchen. Everything else bores me.

StPaulSnowman said...

mine is preutea.........must be some sort of beverage

Anonymous said...

kerento? sounds like a new kia model

Anonymous said...

StPaulSnowman, they took all the naked ladies on velvet down for the photoshoot. Not every buyer would be interested in that kind of art.

Anonymous said...

Sure hope there isn't a fire anywhere near that house anytime.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Ilene is finally dropping the denial and being honest with herself, at last - yes, IC, you really DID fuck up the series finale of TLW that badly and, no, you probably WON'T work in that town (or any other) ever again and certainly not on a high-profile cable series. Do you really think someone would be so addled as to put you in charge again? LOL

So, yeah, sell your ugly house and get every penny you can scrounge - you're gonna need it, being repulsively unemployable now, like you are.

Anonymous said...

This is a weird house with a magnificent collection of mid-century furniture... Would they sell just the furniture?

Anonymous said...

ACK! THE FIRE RISK!!!!

Plus I agree IC deserves all that's coming to her. Which won't be much, apart from, hopefully, obscurity.

Anonymous said...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MAMA!

Dawn Davenport said...

I'll always love my Mama, she's my favorite girl! I hope Dr. Cooter brought you g&t - oops, i mean breakfast - in bed this morning! Holla!

Anna Mosity said...

I'd hate to live there.

Too much bush.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I GEDDIT!!!! TOO MUCH BUSH!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Anonymous said...

It wasn't that funny. Laugh at your own jokes much?

Anonymous said...

yeah...kinda not funny at all...sort of a predictable lesbian joke.

Anonymous said...

Sheesh. Americans don't understand irony. Exhibit A.

Anonymous said...

Americans understand stupid when they see it. And we understand irony.

Someone made a stupid joke about bush.

The stupidest person in America is named Bush.

That's irony.

Perez said...

SNAP!