Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Paul Anka's Silky Beverly Hills Retreat

SELLER: Paul Anka
LOCATION: Mulholland Estates, Beverly Hills
PRICE: $5,995,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Celebrity owned Mediterranean that has been smartly redone with sophisticated style. The beautifully customized interior has a grand entry, high ceilings with the finest lighting, and oak floors with ebony stain throughout. Features include a gracefully proportioned living room with a lovely fireplace, spacious formal dining room overlooking the private pool and grassy yard. Family room with wet bar and customized mahogany bookcases and built ins, state of the art audio/video throughout property.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Located up Beverly Glen Boulevard, and accessed from Mulholland Drive, sits the tony enclave of Mulholland Estates where legendary crooner Paul Anka resides surrounded by a virtual army of Hollywood types. Your Mama hears residents of this guard-gated community of tightly packed mansions include British pop star Robbie Williams, Tom Arnold (who's house is also for sale in the $7,000,000 range), the lacquer-haired, mature blond bombshell Loni Anderson, Judge (Greg) Mathis, and Christina Aguilera, her husband Jordan Bratman and their big white Rolls Royce. It has been reported Shaquille O'Neal also bought a house in this community recently.

But children, do not get in your jalopies and head on up Mulholland Drive thinking you're going to be star fucking any of these folks. This is a gated community and you don't stand a chance of getting inside the gates to roam the streets and sidewalks looking for a face you recognize. And you shouldn't want to be doing that anyway 'cause that's just a stupid thing to do.

Public records for the property are a wee bit confusing children, so see put on your thinking caps and see if you can follow. In 2003 Mr. Paul purchased this house through his Diana Trust for $2,650,026 from a woman named Chandrika. But then it appears the house was transferred again in January of 2005 to the Diana Trust by this Chandrika woman with a mortgage very close to the 2003 selling price. What we do know is this Chandrika woman is a psychiatrist with a practice up in Bakersfield, California--a sprawling, dusty, tract-home infested oil town about 90 miles north of Beverly Hills. What we don't know is if there is or was any romantic relationship between Mr. Paul and this woman which might explain the multiple and confusing transfers. Any of you children out there know anything we should know about this?

Anyhoo, Mr. Paul's house sits on a triangular-shaped lot with roads on two sides. But Your Mama is not seeing this as drawback as there's not much traffic up here. We're finding the interior a little "elegant" for our personal tastes, but we also think the house has been treated kindly by the decorator and overall has a tasteful, silky, and chic style befitting a celebrity in Beverly Hills. All those muted warm walls and gor-gee-us rugs are really quite lovely sitting atop the shiny, ebonized floors. We're also appreciating the cook-friendly kitchen with all the windows because, you know, nobody wants to be cooking in the darkness.

The backyard pool area seems a wee bit small for a house in this price range, but given there's a fairly expansive second floor deck, we'll let that go this time. Generally speaking we're not fond of pools in wacky shapes like this...there just seems like no need to shape the pool like this. We are also concerned about the number of toilets (6) that need to be cleaned in this house. You probably have to pay a girl extra to clean that many toilets every week.

On a side note, did the children know this man has five daughters all with names starting with the letter "a"? No offense to the Mister or the daughters, but Your Mama always finds these sorts of family naming conventions rather alarming. We grew up with a family whose names were Larry, Terry, Mary, Gary, Jerry, and Sherry and we just never know what to make of that.

Your Mama has no idea where Mr. Paul is moving or why this house is being sold. So let us know if you do.

Sources: Coldwell Banker,


Anonymous said...

first, love that you used "jalopy" - it is a frickin' fantastic word that isn't used enough! bring it back! also, loved that you warned people not to come do some "sightseeing"... in that vein, please sign this petition regarding the SAME issue! thanks, mama!

Anonymous said...

who can forget mister anka's 70s hit/paean to motherhood, "having my baby!"

it began with our boy paul pleading, "having my baby, what a lovely way of saying that you love me."

while in response, a woman, (possibly a psychiatrist living in the dusty rubble of bakersfield having multiple affairs with BUCK OWENS and/or MERLE HAGGARD) sang the immortal refrain, "i'm a woman in love and i love what's goin' through me." again, and again and again as if all the zealous spermatazoa were still swimming around in the tepid coastal waters of her hoo-ha.

filed by--
Fiona Trambeau Music News, San Francisco.