Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Here's The Deal...

First off, Your Mama would like to thank the children for their patience. We know we've kept y'all waiting a long time but there were, as they say, a lot of ducks that had to get in a row.

We noted that most of y'all were mostly good in our near three week absence and didn't get too out of line in the comments section. Some of you even left thoughtful notes. We appreciate that. We do not, however appreciate those couple of nasty emails. (You know who you are.) Anyways...

Your Mama could not be more pleased to finally tell the children that we're packing our bags and taking our saucy property gossiping ways over to Variety magazine. That's right. Variety magazine. Bam! Deal with it. It's the end of one era and the doorway to a whole new future.

This site, our beloved digital home for seven plus years, will remain accessible but inactive for the next few days at which point it will automatically redirect all Your Mama's children to our new digital home with all the fine, Showbiz reporting folk at Variety.

Starting today, all new online Real Estalker content can be found here, in the newly formed Dirt section of Variety's online portal. We'll also be dishing celebrity real estate-related dirt in the publication's weekly print issue.

Now, buckle your safety belts, kids because Your Mama is about to make a rare and uncomfortable but necessary breach of the fourth wall...

I would like to offer a sincere if woefully inadequate thank you to all the Real Estalker readers, especially the old timers and the regulars—you know who you are—for your often enlightening commentary and insight, unrelenting encouragement and absolutely humbling dedication.

I must also thank the hundreds of deliciously chatty informants, especially the old timers and the regulars. (Y'all know who you are, too, but as always will remain anonymous.)

And, finally, to my unfailingly supportive family and ever-so-tolerant friends—you all certainly know who you are, I hope—and, of course, to the good Dr. Cooter: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Now then, all of y'all put on your digital traveling shoes and follow Your Mama over to Variety...

107 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!

I'm happy for you.

Somehow, it won't be the same. To me, at least.

Will the print-issue column be available online, too?

Richard said...

It really is the end of an era. I have read your site for years and look forward to reading for many more. I was only ever able to offer one tip, but still feel like a small part of this awesome space you created. Thank you!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Mama. As a long time lurker, I could not be happier for you. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Mr. Mama. Please don't delete the blog. :)

Anonymous said...

sad. will never be the same. :/

-mr. smiley

Anonymous said...

Ouch. I've visited daily for years and will certainly miss Mama. Thanks to you for your witty and fun work all these years. You deserve to move on up.

Anonymous said...

I see the pretty pictures but I don't see any snark. Where's the snark? We must have the snark! Can there really be a Realestalker without the snark?? Oh, dear...did Variety do something to Mama's brain???

Sisterwoman said...

Sisterwoman and fam are very excited for your new adventure with Variety Dirt! Mama keep the real estate dirt coming! Congrats

Anonymous said...

OMG! So incredibly happy for you! I've been reading this blog for years and have also told so many people about it. Congratulations on the new journey. I WILL be following you over to Variety.

What a lovely day, Mama! Now go pop a bottle of champagne.

Anonymous said...

Mazel tov!

Anonymous said...


Okay, I found the snark. Phew! :)

Country Living said...

Good for you!! Congratulations, I will be sure to keep up with you over on Variety.

I don't often post, but you have been part of my daily reading for about four years now.

Happy for you and wish you only good things.

Country Living said...

Good for you!! Congratulations, I will be sure to keep up with you over on Variety.

I don't often post, but you have been part of my daily reading for about four years now.

Happy for you and wish you only good things.

Anonymous said...

dont like all the ads on the new site...:/

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Mama! What an exciting move for you! Your "saucy property gossiping ways" will always be a source of enjoyment for your loyal readers and now a whole new audience too.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Mama: Reading on the new site, you are doing an excellent job. Hope they are paying you your worth far above rubies. :)

Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed your comments, pix and observations immensely. Couldn't happen to a more talented blogger. All my best to you and your new adventure.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Fantastic news! My heart congratulations!! Cannot wait to see your byline at Variety. VARIETY!

Anonymous said...

My first and only post. I've lurked on the site for 4+ years. Totally enjoyed your posts and you simple design. Variety will be a harsh adjustment, but I look forward to reading your posts over there.

Congrats on a HUGE achievement.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations and good luck!

That said, the new Variety site blows. Hard to navigate and lots of ads.

Desert Donna said...

Mama, the sadness I feel right now is nothing compared to the joy I have that you have been recognized for your talent (as all we children knew you had), and that the sky is the limit for you! Love you

claire said...

Excellent news! I've been a faithful reader since the beginning. I can't think of any other blogger in my bookmarks more deserving of The Big Time than Our Mama.

LA Ad Guy said...

Congrats Mama, as the other chillren have said we have loved this blog, its been a daily treat for so many and we'll look forward to all the juicy celeb RE news over at the Variety thing. One quick question: if this will redirect to Variety will all your archives be there? It's such a treasure trove of great info and insight that I often go back and read, hope we can still access past posts! (Re-reading anything about Ms. Huguette would be worth saving the archives for) Best of luck Mama!!

lil' gay boy said...

Congrats again, Mama!

Long time coming & well-deserved -- as LA Ad Guy just pointed out, hope Variety realizes the value added in over 3300 posts so far...

As I already quoted Charlotte Vale in Now, Voyager over at Variety:

"I could cry with pride..." -- to which I'll add:

"...don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."

;-)

Anonymous said...

Mama Lama, it's with great joy and pride, that we send you off to your new school. Kill 'em dead Mama!!
Side note: I like the new variety blog, and also I had NO IDEA you were a Gay Dude. For some reason I thought you were An Asian American Woman in her mid-30's.

Grrrowler said...

While I'm sad to see you move out of this particular online neighborhood, I'm very happy for you. Congrats! I'll definitely be visiting you at the new digs.

Anonymous said...

I'm happy for you. Obviously your original and humorous prose got the attention of some folks who will be rewarding you financially as a writer. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

I keep oranges in my trunk.

KathyRo said...

Congratulations!
I'm a little confused though. Will the older posts still be available? On this site or on Variety?

Anonymous said...

Congrats! I'm just glad this site wasn't bought up by some advertising juggernaut for a shit ton of money and was going to turn into a pile like pinkisthenewblog.com did several years ago. That really pissed me off and i quit reading his site. I will be following you to Variety!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! So happy for you Mama! I, for one, will follow you wherever you go!!!

Rick Wrinklebottom said...

Congratulations, Mama! (Or should we now start calling you Mark? LOL)

Longtime informant/commentator Rick Wrinklebottom/Bigdaddyj

Anonymous said...

Yes Mama, you make that coin!

Legacy said...

Congrats, just not feeling the new site. Ill unfortunately not be visiting it daily . It was good while it lasted though.

FrenchGirl said...

Félicitations pour ta promotion!

Anonymous said...

This long-time lurking reader says:
Congratulations! I will follow your weaving footprints wherever they go.

SuperYachtFan said...

Happy for you!
Enjoyed your blog for years....

Hope they are paying you well.

But the reader experience at the Variety site is not so good.
Too many ads, not easy to navigate...
Will miss your blog..

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

P. S. Lol! I didn't know you were a man either. I thought you were definitely female, 40s to 50s, and "seasoned," if you're picking up what I'm putting down. Since that also describes me, it means you always read as a peer to me, someone I'd enjoy throwing a few adult beverages back with while we snark. I imagine I'd like to do that with you no matter what. Anyway, congratulations again!

Anonymous said...

First and only comment from me as well after years of reading your site. Congrats Mama! I can't tell you how many times I damn near spit out my coffee whilst reading your site in the morning. I wish you the best of luck! BTW, just found a picture of you on Google, H.O.T! This boy has looks and a sassy mouth! Love it!

http://secondshelters.com/2010/12/20/my-love-affair-with-mama-a-k-a-the-realestalker/

Petra's said...

Mama, CONGRATS!!!! So long in coming and so well deserved!

However, I am worried about one thing - what will happen to your thousands of old posts? Will they be lost forever in the transition? I can't bear the thought of that! At least give some thought to establishing a digital archive of some sort. Love you!

Chuck.Raney Raney said...

I went to the Variety link, it could not be easier. HAs smae Real Estalker link/Header.
First ad was Gina? Gia? the Italian cook? had her own food store? GRRrrrawwww baby. If you can set me up with her !!
Good Luck on the new venture !

Marsha Splenderosa said...

Super super wonderful news, Mama!
This is fabulous for your work and one thinks you will get so much more exposure, which means so many more of "us" to comment on the news of the day. You are one-in-a-million, I will follow you where ever you are. Big, huge CONGRATS !!!!

doug-g said...

Congratulations, Mama, and welcome Mark David. I take it that the time off was for the sex change operation?

I can't remember how I found Realestalker or exactly how long ago, but I have enjoyed every post and look forward to following you on Variety.

Chuck.Raney Raney said...

I have one or two things to day about Variety and the move.
Mark David is your new Screen Name?
Asking to be Certain cause Variety Staff is used on a few articles.

Once the bosses that hired you are moved on, the new guys will tend to forget, you built this name, segment ETC into the readership it has, THEY will think it is their "Property".
I am saying, Don't Teach the pencil neck managers your tricks or informants. At All.
the cell you use, should be paid for by you, not out of some account "for accounting convenience" your computer should be furnished by YOU, personally, not out of some "business arrangement" so "we can write it off" or other accounting jargon, as it is a way they can own and control your future endeavors.
Your loyal readers, your great articles, your group of snarky friends are now packaged into a sale-able product by a major corp. Some Bean Counter, non-fan of yours, will at some point, try to make Business Decisions on you and yours.
Not saying it's wrong or anything.
I am saying plainly, Loyal readers love YOU, packaging is irrelevant to us.
Don't teach the corporate bean counters, who have BTW found a way to pay you? I hope so !!
Don't let them get the camel's nose under the tent and have all the info, to have an intern do that work.
If they own the phone, the computer, the web page, they own the Idea and Printed Work ?? and they close off your personal and professional future.

you should make a simultaneous posting of YOUR WORK to this page and addy, and promote the Variety on this,sending each one of these readers to Variety with link/ad for all the info.
this page should continue so casual readers can find you, in the empty months to come.
Just post a headline and link.
Retain ownership to your work.
This post is not meant to be a anti corp rant but rather an Intellectual Property rant.
their waving money, you should be taking money and growing your Portfolio and future.
What happened to Robin Williams when he left Mork and Mindy? That long dry spell, he could not use any of teh old TV jokes? See how that works?
Prince, with the spat over NAME and Records.
Tell me again, how Paul, John George and Ringo HAD TO BUY FOR MILLIONS (well Paul Did) his own, personal work ?

Again, not trying to be the voice of Doom, I wish you well and I plan to keep reading.

Sandpiper said...


Thrilled for you, gurlfriend!! This has been a long time in coming. Always knew the day would come. It was never a matter of if -- but when.

I've been around here since almost day one. Where you go I will follow!

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Well, Mama, I don't like change especially if it means not enjoying your hellified way words. Go, if you must. But, please, don't change 'cause I'll be reading you.

Oh, one more thing - Congratulations!

Chuck.Raney Raney said...

I have enjoyed the comments from other readers, I have even learned from them.
Can we get a blog comment for old, readers? we could all join now and post? or can we post on Variety now?

btw Mark is an interesting writer. He may not be able to contuinue his "old Persona" of Mama, with teh supporting cast of long bodied bitches but once his feet are on the ground over there, he can find an interesting and fun way to bring "snarkiness" to his insight.
Maybe Variety marketing or lawyers had teh input on his screen name/ persona.

Chuck.Raney Raney said...

Sorry guys to spam this potential last post
BUT
I am sad to inform you WE CAN post on Variety and it shall forever be known by those present I AM FIRST.
so.
FIRST.
Get used to it.

Sandpiper said...


Little aside to Chuck.Raney Raney.

No better guy I can think of for the christening post! :)

RTMS RTMS said...

Hmm long time lurker, sometimes poster. Thank you for all the real estate gossip you gave over the years. Does this mean you will be behind a paywall? I will miss it if it is.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mama, Thank you for your saucy good humor all these many years. Variety could not have chosen better. Congratulations to you and to them. I look forward to visiting you in your new home.

Anonymous said...

Love you Your Mama and I congratulate you on all your success and your future success!

Viva! said...

Way to go Mama! This old timer couldn't be prouder of your success!

Anonymous said...

Variety the spice of life congrats keep dishin us out the Dirt

Hippie Canyon said...

Congratulations Ma. Who better than to have an entirely new section created just for your genius!

DC Guy said...

Congrats Mama! This is wonderful news and I've already started reading all your delicious posts on Variety!

claire said...

Chuck, do you really think that the long-bodied bitches will be MIA at Variety? And Dr. C too? I haven't read through all of the new posts yet. I'm so happy for Mama but have concerns as well. But then againMama's no dummy and a keen observer of the art of negotion. This deal has probably been in the works for years.

Rosco Mare said...

Gurrrrrrrrr! So happy to hear our Mama Dearest is "movin' on up...to a deluxe office in the sky!"

Your new pen name, Mark, sounds nice, but you will always be Mama Dearest to me. I already read Variety, so I will see you there.

So long also to the other chilren, whose insightful and entertaining comments I have enjoyed for several years.

LOTS OF LOVE ALWAYS

Rosco Mare, the certifiable WASP

Anonymous said...

I have been an avid reader of your blog. Congratulations on the move to Variety.

However, I had your blog as an RSS feed in My Yahoo. I just tried to add the RSS feed of your blog on Variety but it will only give me the RSS of all of Variety news. This is not what I am interested in.

Maybe it is possible to have just yours?
If not, I will likely unfollow you.

All the best

makncal said...

Thank You!

...for all your insight and the sense of style and the appreciation of both good architecture and design, and delicious gossip you have imparted to us all! I am forever grateful.

I, too, am very happy for you!

I have already bookmarked your new URL.

THANK YOU, AGAIN!

Anonymous said...

I have loved your writing for years. Congrats on the new gig!

Amanda B. Rekendwith said...

How absolutely wonderful for you.
Congratulations.
I hope you negotiated a corner suite and an executive loo!
Happy future. It's fun being along for the ride.
:)


Super said...

Congrats Mama! I rarely comment but I've been reading your blog since the early days. I think it's a long time coming that you've up and got yourself a grand new job at Variety! I hope you can keep your witty criticisms now that you have corporate sponsors. I wish you the best of luck and thank you for the years of entertainment, and hopefully many more years to come!

Chuck.Raney Raney said...

Claire, I have a buddy that is 7 feet tall, literally. He played College Bball of course. He has 2 wiener dogs. hahahah.
I think Marketing will want something else for image but I always liked how Mark worked them in.
the Phrase "Your Mama" made it over.
Long=bodied bitches may live in infamy forever! Although, if they are both female, it is technically a correct term. Descriptive too.

Snarkiness, I did not know that was a term even though I have seen Snarky before.

Like other previous posts, I thought "Mama" was over 50, female and much like the Catherine Zeta Jones Character in Intolerable Cruelty with George Clooney. The divorcees are sitting around by the pool? admiring the blonde's (from Bob Newhart Show) pool boy ? that is how I pictured Mama.
Oh Well !!!

Anonymous said...

Congrats MAMA!!!!

Chuck.Raney Raney said...

Anon at 8:30 states one thing I was trying to get across.
You spend years to build an I-net Addy and then just abandon, when any computer geek can fix up the auto posts and auto links from this addy, it Page loads, short HEY I MOVED SITES message, and hyperlink. Real Estalker original site should stay up, so the 3 and 4 month intermittent casual reader can follow it over. A real marketing person would also manage/follow "old page" view tranfers and direct/new viewers to measure Marketing Numbers but that is just me talking.
The new trend in purchasing Car Dealers is to buy the old name also. They spent 50 years building the Brand and customer loyalty. I have heard of over 1 million being spend for GOODWILL in a Sale. (of course, they did the paperwork so the Real Estate was 1 million higher cause the Bank wont normally finance Goodwill, it's not a tangible asset)
When that 50 year old Car Dealer moves locations, it takes the old phone number, thereby generating 50 years of customer following Sales Potential.

Anonymous said...

Mama, you done us wrong....

we were good urchins while you were gone....

and we waited for this?

I am not a happy camper.

Sorry to see this happen to Mama as the Variety site looks terrible on my Iphone and takes FORRRRRRREVER to load.

I won't be a fan and won't cross over so Mama it's been a fun ride but you WILL LOSE many good people and make some new and not so snarky ones I am sure.

All for money I guess....how sad.

Corey B. said...

Congrats!! Much deserved! Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

I'm pleased for you and Dr. Cooter but it won't be the same.

Thank you so much for the years of work you put into the blog.

Anonymous said...

First time commenter - have loved this blog since the early, early days. My best memory: I sent you a question about an estate in the Upper Midwest, and got back to me - quickly. I was floored.

Thank you for the laughs, and it's been great fun watching the blog change and grow for 6+ years. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Hooray! This years-long lurker is very happy for you.

Anonymous said...

What about the archives?

Anonymous said...

Oh mama, so pleased for you. True it's just not the same over there, but it's a great move and you should be proud.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mama,

From another lurker, congratulations! I started reading you about four years ago and have learned so much. Thank you. I, too, wonder if we can still access old posts. Anyway,I'm pleased as punch for you and wish you all kinds of success at Variety.

One of the Children

Anonymous said...

I've been a lurker for years since Madison Hildebrand tweeted a link to this site. Many congratulations and best wishes! I hope we will be able to continue reading your witty commentary (for free).

FonHom said...

Dearest Mama,

Congratulations! I'm certain you will be as delicious a read in your sharp new home as you have been here.

If you can squeeze it in, I'd love to see some occasional design, like your clever fix for the streetside view of Chris Colfer's new (in 2011) home.

Most of all, Mama, THANK YOU one last time for generously working your tush off on this lovely corner of the interwebs. And thank you too LGB & the Rabbi & Roscomare & so many others for your erudite, insightful and/or delightfully beaatchy comments. À bientôt!

(Hey! The word verification is down to 3 numbers!)

Sandpiper said...


Mama, would love to post a comment at the new place, but it's sort of a logistical/navigational nightmare.

When reading a piece, once I jump off the article for a peek at the pics, I can't get back to the article. I'm locked into a scrolling abyss. The scroll doesn't stop after property's pics, either. It rolls seamlessly (and involuntarily) on into another property's pics. That's confusing. The back button is useless. Whew. My only way out has been to start all over again by reentering through the "Dirt" tab.

I realize I'm cognitively challenged, but this is redonkulous. Can you exert some fancy-pants editor authority to simplify that crazy process for people like me. Or, could somebody tell me what I'm doing wrong? A "back to article" button when in picture scroll mode would be great. Pretty please? (xoxo)

Anonymous said...

Do not fear! I'm sure Mama will soon be getting out the wooden spoon and putting it to the backsides of Variety's web designers.

midTN said...

Best of luck!

Will miss your blog...always fun.

***

Anonymous said...

I've been a lurker for awhile and I enjoy all your commentaries about the rich and famous. So happy that you are now official!! I'll definitely follow you to your new home.

Pretty Artful Vintage said...

Oh my congrats!! I will miss this forum though this is seriously my favorite blog to read, but as most of your loyal butterbeans I will follow you to variety!

Petra's said...

Mama, I concur with Sandpiper (and others!) Absolutely love that you're now official in the big-time, but can't bring myself to comment much on the Variety site - it definitely could use a talented designer's help.

Youre wrtiting is still as poignant and funny as ever, tho. And as always, CONGRATS!!!! xoxo

christina said...

Congratulations!! You will be just as great there as you were here, but I will miss just clicking on in.
Love to you and yours! Christina

Anonymous said...

Hate to say it but I don't like the new site at all. Not only is it more difficult to navigate, it's covered in stupid ads and other crap. I do understand Mama's choice to take her blog there. In the end this is about money and, after years of hard work, Mama more than deserves to be paid for her writing. It's just a shame Blogspot doesn't pay...

Anonymous said...

Now I have to watch a 15 second ad to view a property? No thanks! It was fun while it lasted.

FonHom said...

Hi Anon 3:25pm,
Up and to the right it says "Continue to Variety.com" Click to skip the ad.
Yeah, slightly annoying but less obtrusive than the ads that obscured the RealEstalker pic groupings. I got used to opening each page of pix in a separate window so I could check them out while I read. I'll do the same with the slideshow now. BTW the new pix are more and bigger, and I do like bigger.

Anonymous said...

I LOVEDDDD this BLOG but i'm sorry, the fate of it WILL end just like that of Luxist.com, a few years ago! Once it got sold to "stylist", it lost its savoir faire! And it was SAD!! I wish you all the best and I understand "business" and moving on but I also OVERstand "corporate business"! "*sad face*

Anonymous said...

Balance your spiritual energy and get in harmony with your soul by practicing these Radha-Krishna meditations.


Sri Gita Govinda
-A book written in the 12th century, this is a description of the intimate loving affairs of Radha and Krishna
http://www.mediafire.com/view/keqr4lqp7wr1rru/Sri_Gita_Govinda.pdf

Govinda Lilamrta
-An 400 year old book which poetically describes the eternal daily pastimes of Radha and Krishna
http://www.mediafire.com/view/uhcuigauc6uqiei/Govinda_Lilamrita.pdf

Ananda Vrindavan Campu
-This is probably the most poetic and intimate portrayal of Sri Krsna’s life in Vrndavana that has ever been written.
http://www.mediafire.com/view/k9j3ldwbt17be3b/Ananda_Vmdavana_Campu.pdf

Prayers of Service to Radha and Krishna (Sankalpa Kalpadruma)
http://www.mediafire.com/view/lvkqsro3sbzm249/Visvanath_Cakravarti_Thakur_Sankalpa_Kalpadruma.pdf

Prema Samputa The Treasure Chest of Love
http://www.mediafire.com/view/mpbncdyt97nw0x7/Prema_Samputa_The_Treasure_Chest_of_Love.pdf


And the following four are taken from Visvanath Cakravarti's Camatkara Candrika, a 300 year old scripture that talks about the love meeting of Radha and Krishna:

The Meeting in the Box
http://www.mediafire.com/view/c81a7cp43n5v6aj/The_Meeting_in_the_Box.pdf

The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Doctor
http://www.mediafire.com/view/hgomrnem7829pda/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Doctor.pdf

The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Singer
http://www.mediafire.com/view/gyuboduhn8dvdml/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Singer.pdf

The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as Abhimanyu
http://www.mediafire.com/view/911h9qoxn4ca027/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_As_Abhimanyu.pdf


And lastly, we have the supreme scripture which describes the 24 hour daily loving affairs of Radha and Krishna in Vrindavan, called Bhavanasara Sangraha. This book is now available on Amazon for Kindle, for only $3.49

http://www.amazon.com/Bhavanasara-Sangraha-Mahanidhi-Swami-ebook/dp/B00CW9H4DI/ref=la_B00J2M5LAQ_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402209195&sr=1-15

Here is a 41 page sample of Bhavanasara Sangraha:
http://www.mediafire.com/view/t4gsse2d4sw0f8p/Sample_of_Bhavanasara_Sangraha.pdf

The above book can also be read on your PC using Amazon Kindle for PC, download here for free:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd?docId=1000426311

Anonymous said...

Wow, so it's been three days on the new site and I fucking hate it. I totally agree that this blog will probably go the way of Luxist. Truly a shame what greed can do to a good thing.

Sandpiper said...

Mama, You might have to get out your wooden spoon (the biggie) a last time time before that switch gets flipped! Yikes!

And, one mo' 'gain, sassy gurl, thrilled for you!!

historyglass said...

I created the voice of "Miss Frivolity" as the idea of Rachel Zoe before she even had a show, now for old times sake:

November 9, 2007 at 12:17 PM
Ms Frivolity said...

...........18 months later....Nervously yet with frail determination she enters the uber swank lobby of the newly opened Mark on 77th. This time she's grasping a black croc Hermes birkin bag with white gold and diamond pave clasp, more in the Russian taste than Prada."Madam" I'm sorry but there are no drinks allowed
in the public areas"says the swooningly dark and handsome doorman. A moment of panic sweeps through her cashmere enveloped bones. Can she do this without her Starbucks? Determined yet stung she is escorted into the silk lined elevator and seated on a small rosewood bench for the duration of the ride to the penthouse."You've got to be fucking kidding me right?"she mutters to herself upon entering the lobby of the penthouse that is larger and more spectacular that the lobby downstairs by tenfold. The walls are hung with what appear to be a suite of four 15th century Flemish tapestries depicting a series of Roman battles. From the 50 foot ceiling is hanging the largest chandelier in a private residence in the United States,each crystal drop is carved from a combination of various semi precious stones, and casts a luxurious glow onto the giant round ormolu and malachite early 19th cetury Russian table sitting on the black and white marble floor that shines like a Siberian lake under the midnight sun.
A bevy of assistants with phones and blackberrys buzzing and beeping show her into Mrs Blavatnik's morning room, lots of silver, art deco and orchids in jet black Lalique vases. Severe, correct and very expensive. Is that a bright red Alexander Calder sculpture on the terrace? More buzzing, beeping and nervous chatter in Russian and then suddenly there she is Like a Scythian Queen from the Steppes of central Asia over two thousand years ago bought to glorious life in a gold couture Lanvin suit. Stunned, she had expected Versace, she greets her new client with a sigh of relief.

Anonymous said...

1. Adblocker. Free download. Use it. I haven't seen an ad in years.

2. I book marked the Dirt page. When I click it, I wait till it cycles to what I want to see, i.e,1-2-3. I then click on the title of the property and it takes me directly to the comments.

Anonymous said...


Oh, HOW will we live?

What will become of all the filthy greed, materialistic drivel, fey
snobbery,talentless ciphers,horrific taste,laughable
pretensions, rancid egos, fetid selfishness, bovine breeding, and
the completely corrupt capitalist power structure that is essentially 21st century feudalism, writ large, keeping the poor in their place, the rich in theirs, and repeating the entire cycle through endless time and seasons, ad nauseum?

It will move over to a Hollywood trade paper, of course.

For an era to really end, Mama, history has always called for a revolution, akin to what happened in France in 1789 or Russia in 1917. Maybe you can do a story on what all the mansions looked like after morality and goodness got done with them, all those very chic, very fashionable years ago.

That might be just the kind of "variety" that's needed right around now, since the present moment is already passé, don't you think?





Jesse Barron said...

I am so thrilled to read this.

You deserve everything that is coming your way!

I do hope that your editors will allow you to keep the "Mama" personality alive and that she does not change one bit for her new corporate overloads.

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Anonymous said...

The new site is confusing. Been visiting your site pretty much since close to the beginning but this is it for me. The new format is not what drew me here and made you you. You deserve recognition for sure but something has been lost in the transition IMO.
good luck

Anonymous said...

Anon @ June 21, 2014 at 5:53 PM:

The only good thing about the types of revolution you cite is that people like you are the first ones put up against the wall and shot. You are too stupid to know why. LOL

Long Live Mama!

SUSAN WITZ said...

Congratulations. Love your style & this website, but I'm sure it will be just as great at Variety!

Sandpiper said...

TO: Variety Webmaster
C/O: Mama
FROM: One of mama's children

SUBJECT: Dirt Section -- Irratic comment results depending on how property is accessed, and other curiousities

I'm offering the questions below because I care. No intent to be unreasonable or make waves. I come in peace. That said, ...

Why does the Variety website show 2 different versions of talk/comment results, depending on how the a property is accessed?

Take, for example: Wilson property as accessed at 4:00 pm EST, 6/22

METHOD 1 - comment results:

-- Entered at: variety.com/v/dirt/
-- Clicked on Wilson property in the 3-property teaser scroll at top.
-- Jumped me to link below.*
-- It shows: 6 talk, 2 G+1, and 22 tweets

*http://variety.com/2014/dirt/real-estalker/owen-wilson-adds-to-ample-property-portfolio-1201226531/

METHOD 2 - with different comment results:

-- Entered at variety.com/v/dirt/
-- Skip past 3-property scroll to the first static entry below that, Wilson's property, no jump.
-- It shows: 1 talk, 2 G+1, 0 Tweets

Something's screwy. Which shall it be: 6 talks in one place, or 1 talk for exact same property in another place?

Would be great if all of the comments could connect up in one spot, rather than divided.

Other things that confuse me from the perspective of Variety's Dirt section being user friendly:

Why, in property pics mode, is there no way (hot link) to return to the write up?
Why, in property pics mode, is there an endless scroll of multiple properties, rather than just the property that the user wants to view?
Why, in Dirt's 3-property teaser scroll mode, do the properties flash by faster than the brain can decide which one the user is interested in clicking on? Please slow it down.
Why, in Dirt's backlist of properties, are other things mixed in like Mama's press release? That should be a seperate hot link on the main Dirt page.
What's the difference between articles written by Mama versus articles written by "Staff".

This entire Dirt section lacks continuity or logic from a design perspective. In aggregate, it not a user-friendly experience.

Please help. Thanks!

Eric said...

I have been reading your site for years - like a good TV show, I regularly put off reading until the end of the week when I can thoroughly enjoy your work. Looking forward to following you in Variety!

Anonymous said...

bummed.
that new site takes eons to load and is difficult to navigate.
you have lost another reader, but you probably don't care.
enjoy your game.

i will miss you.

Sarah Hall said...


I Am really enjoying these and I can’t wait for next week’s blog. I have been wanting to make my own for a while now, so I’m very excited about the giveaway too!

Quick Property sale

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Lukey said...

Congratulations Mama!

Can't wait to see you in your new home!

Jason M. said...

Congratulations on your new adventure. I haven't been on in quite some time but was a steady realestalker for several years. Thanks for the entertainment over the years. I look forward to getting back into the habit and have bookmarked the new site.

One thing... will you PLEASE tell someone at Variety that can do something about it that it is extremely annoying when you scroll through a series of pictures in a slideshow and then have to go back through them in order to get back to the main page when using the back button. It's a real deterrent to going through the slideshow in the first place.

Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

A hole has opened in my heart. The world will not be the same without "Real Estalker". I do wish you the best through my vail of tears. Ann

Anonymous said...

Variety ... Now the useless, obnoxious and unnecessary scroll slideshow transitions into a completely unrelated topic with no way out. WT ...