Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Chris Brown Snags Sexy New Crib in Hollywood Hills

BUYER: Chris Brown
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,550,000
SIZE: 2,473 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen chickens, Your Mama wouldn't know a Chris Brown ditty if it walked up, kicked us hard in the soft of our shin and called us a jive-talkin' turkey. What little we know about the young R&B/pop musician comes exclusively from what we've read on the blogs and in the tabs and gossip glossies, which is to say, what we know ain't not particularly flattering.

We know he smacked (or otherwise assaulted) former gal pal Rihanna a few years ago and we know that more recently he's worked the last nerves of at least a few of his neighbors at the 7-unit West Hollywood condo complex where in February 2011 he paid $1,600,000 for a penthouse pad with 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.

A few minutes research on the interweb turns up various and scads of stories about young Mister Brown (and/or his guests) parking their luxury automobiles in two of the building's underground parking spots marked for use by handicapped folks. However, for the record, his big-name legal man Mark Geragos claims Mister Brown's deed shows the two handicap parking spots belong to his penthouse and in September (2011) 95 of 117 pending parking tickets incurred by Mister Brown were dismissed after the a court determined the parking spaces were indeed assigned to Mister Brown's penthouse.

Mister Brown's neighbors' complaints do not, alas, end with the in-the-end not-illegal parking matters. They also say he and his entourage blast music at all hours of the day and night, race dogs in the building's corridors–What?!?–and over the summer the po-po were summoned to the premises after it was reported someone carved the initials "C.B." into the elevator doors. Mister Brown alleges it was one of his disgruntled neighbors who carved on the elevator doors in order to make him look bad. Could be. Stranger things have certainly happened.

Whatever the case, Mister Brown was clearly not well liked by his neighbors and smartly opted to get out of Dodge, or out of West Hollywood anyways. The tatted-up 22-year old was widely reported to have vacated the premises in early November (2011) and in mid-November it was reported by Radar Online he'd "bought a swanky Hollywood Hills Mansion for a cool $1.5 million."

Your Mama would surely have looked right on past Mister Brown recent real estate activities–he's not really in our orbit of interest–were it not for the rather surprising number of queries we've had about his new digs. It took us a day or two to get things sorted out but after a few queries, a couple of dead ends and a report on The Daily forwarded by Jezebel Justwantstoknow, Your Mama has ascertained that Mister Brown decamped to a fairly recently built and decidedly contemporary crib that clings dramatically to a precariously steep slope in a rugged (and quiet) ravine above Lake Hollywood in a neighborhood known as the Hollywood Dell. Yes, children, there is an actual (man-made) lake in Hollywood.

Anyhoo, it's not entirely clear to Your Mama if Mister Brown leased or purchased the hillside house in question but property records do indicate that a mysterious corporate entity did indeed acquire the residence in mid-October (2011) for $1,550,000. Whether he bought or rented–it does appear to Your Mama, who does not know a gnat from a violin, that he bought the sexed-up residence–Mister Brown's ludicrously painted Lamborghini Gallardo was reported by The Daily to have been seen parked in the street-level two-car garage that has a clear glass door, which ain't the best way to keep the prying eyes of anyone from identifying one's easily identifiable whip, you know?

The multi-level residence, designed by noted and accomplished L.A.-based architect Jay Vanos, sits high–very, very high–above the narrow and winding street. One old listing we dug up states that the top of the house soars more than 100 feet above the street, high enough to make someone with even a mild case of acrophobia to sweat like a sow and shriek with anxiety. The main portion of the house is accessible by either a butt-busting exterior staircase or private elevator that more easily whisks residents and guests up from the street level interior entry, past the separate guest quarters atop the garage to an exterior glass-railed bridge that spans a plunge-sized swimming pool and spa below and connects to the main entry to the glassy, multi-story main house.

Inside there's a double-height living room with towering walls of glass with canyon views, fireplace with flat-screen mounted above and ebony wood floors under foot. The living room is open to a sleek Boffi brand kitchen with charcoal-colored cabinetry and what looks to Your Mama like stainless steel counter tops but may very well be something else entirely. Above the kitchen there looks to be a lofted office/sitting room.

The top level master suite, separated from the staircase by a glass wall that stretches from wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling, is open completely open to the bathroom that includes a free-standing soaking tub, separate glassed-in shower stall, and long, double sink vanity. It's all terribly sexy in that Miami hotel suite sort of way but we can imagine it could be awfully annoying for a couple who have different schedules and routines to have to listen and watch their partner do their morning and/or evening ablutions.

The custom-designed house is, as per listing information we teased out of the internets, was designed with a green roof and is kitted and fitted with all the latest high-tech electronic gadgetry that includes a Crestron home automation system, state-of-the art audio and video security systems, and LED lighting displays throughout including in the swimming pool and jacuzzi that lights up like a damn disco at the flip of a switch.

As far as we know and/or can tell, Mister Brown has yet to lease or list his West Hollywood penthouse although we don't expect he'll want to keep it since at least some of the other residents of the complex seem to loathe the entertainer with every fiber of their real estate beings.

listing photos: Nicholas Property Group via Southern California Homes

48 comments:

JoeTheMiddleYears said...

This house, and this story could only happen in Hollywood. I'm sure Mr. Brown's old neighbors are breathing a sigh of relief.

JoeTheMiddleYears said...

actuar

Anonymous said...

Ok, did I miss something?? 1.5M for all that? Must be in a really bad area. Sure he will feel right at home if thats the case.

Anonymous said...

Ug. I can't stand Chris Brown's ugly temper, face or house.

Anonymous said...

Anon 8:10--This was a short sale.

Anonymous said...

Mama, don't take any crap from people who've been living in another solar system for a while. Mr. Brown is a huge celebrity and music star and deserves a mention in The Real Estalker. Type in "Beautiful People" and "Chris Brown" into Youtube search. That track was everywhere! Keep up the good gossip Mama. That's a lot of house for 1.5. Quite nice but all those stairs are daunting after 3 martinis. hugs from LA - sunrise281@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

The people in his old building must be so happy to have this ignorant jackass out of their hair.
He and the animals that he calls friends will trash this place in no time. I would be horrified to have this criminal as a neighbor, I would sell immediately.

It really is a shame that LA has pathetic starstruck judges, because this animal should still be sitting in prison to this day.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:29.......Yeah well meanwhile he's giving you and everyone else that doesn't like him the middle finger and living his life. Nice house Chris!

Anonymous said...

Ugly, major ugly.

Anonymous said...

2:59, based on the fact that he is a black uneducated rapper/singer with a criminal record, the chances that he will make it to 35 and not end up in prison and or bankrupt are slim to none.

My house is 5 times bigger and cost more than this woman beating loser's house anyway so he might be giving you the middle finger, but he sure is not giving it to me. Also because I am not a convicted felon, I can travel to other countries unlike him...

Mariemic911 said...

People need to move past a 3yr old incident and leave this young man alone hes only human!!!

Nathan said...

I get that real estate prices aren't as high as they once were, but how is that house only $1.5 million?!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for giving us the deets! Nice property & a great buy for Chris. TeamBreezy all day.

Anonymous said...

GOOD FOR YOU CHRIS BROOOWN!!!!! LEAVE THE GUY ALONE!!!! GOD AND GO LIVE YOUR PATHETIC LIFE'S!!!! HE IS ONLY 22 YEARS OLD NOT F**** 50!!! GOD PEOPLE get a life and get off his dick!!! lol love chris brown forever!!1

Anonymous said...

What does being 22 have to do with anything? It's okay to hit a woman when you're 22 but not when you're 50?

He may make great music–top 40 R&Bjust ain't my thang so I don't really know his music–but it's never ok to hit a woman, ever, and it's even worse to be an apologist for a man who hits on a woman regardless of whether he's 22 or 50.

And for you up there^^^I'll take my so-called "pathetic lifes" over being a man who hits a woman.

Anonymous said...

Thanks 10:24 for answering the question. I have no doubt Brown is a Little man, but that doesnt answer why it sold so inexpensively??

MarkyMark said...

Wow that elevator must get a workout - this place is like scaling Mt. Everest! Appears to be at least 6 floors from street-level; for 3 bedrooms? On Google Street View you can see it under construction. And those lucky neighbors! Now they'll have his friends and fan's cars roaring up and down this dead-end street at all hours.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:52....Whatever dude. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself. I'm glad you did bring up his race and all the other stereotypes because I already knew that what's really bothering. Speaking of race, I do find it odd that white guys like Tommy Lee(who roughed up Pamela Anderson) and Charlie Sheen can snort, f*ck and act a total white fool and still be celebrated and forgiven.

Oh and I doubt if your house is 5 times bigger. But.....whatever makes you feel better. : )

Anonymous said...

Hi chris brown I luv u ur so cool with all your lamborghinis and green sneakers and swag and bling and ching and whips and grilles and smashing chicks faces in and stuff.
Do you sit up ther all alone and think of ufo's?
Are aliens looking at you and thinking...hmmmm hu-mans they are a strange breed...mind if we use the pool, dude? Now don't hit the saucer hahaha....were just joking, us humorous aliens ha ha.
chris brown, what is the meaning of existence? do u know? r u hitting out at the fathomless void? striking out at the cold, cruel empty universe? Does God use auto-tune?
chris brown u make me sad 4 u and
your green footwear and lambo.
can u be dropped when ur not hot? (snoop dawg!!!!!) ...do u know what is here 2 day can b gone 2 morrow?

Macauley said...

I saw an interesting condo complex in Hollywood, 2008 construction, modern architecture, right behind the Kodak Theatre. Www.thehollywood.condos.com

midTN said...

***


"there goes the neighborhood"


***

Dandy said...

he did so much more than "smack her" he could have killed her. really, i like your coverage, but......what he did should not be down played.

Anonymous said...

No it's not ok to hit a woman but it is ok to not be perfect!!!!!!!!! Purchasing a home like this at the age of 22 is awesome regardless of race, education level, gender, and mistakes. Anyting esle said is coming from pure jealously and hate-which is not bothering this young man one minute. Keep doing you chris!

Anonymous said...

Does Chris Brown actually enter the gym when he goes or just stands around his car? From the looks of his wimpy/flabby arms, he doesn't do much actual working out. Maybe he's paid his thug friend in the photos to work out for him.

lil' gay boy said...

"Purchasing a home like this at the age of 22 is awesome regardless of race, education level, gender, and mistakes."

Obviously from a fan.

Perhaps a little enlightenment; regardless of talent (dubious), achievement (undeniable), race (irrelevant), education (dubious again), there are simply some lines one does not cross, such as raising a hand to another human being in anger (be it man, woman or child).

Once you cross that line, there is nothing, almost nothing you can do to redeem yourself --- not making amends, genuine remorse, or a lifetime of community service.

And certainly not behaving like a demented toddler, pissing off the neighbors because you can, or living in an ass uglee house. Outrageous as he was, even Mozart knew when to dial it back...not that one could correlate him with Brown.

Anonymous said...

It tries too hard for effect. I doubt I'd want to live there.

Anonymous said...

Are the exterior walls wood or what? Is the house wood framed, or steel? Wood framed houses of this sort risk warpage and the problems that come with that.

Anonymous said...

These comments need to start being moderated better.

Anonymous said...

Was this linked on another website? There must be a reason for all the 15 year old fangirls commenting above. The fact that they think people should forget about what this piece of dirt did is pathetic, I pity them.

As for Brown, Karma tends to be a bitch & he's got it coming.

Anonymous said...

Who cares about this guy... he'll go the way of Ja'Rule ('member him?).... what I really want to see is details on Bruce Willis' home in Idaho that just went on the market for $15 million... sure, it's in Idaho.. but for $15m, it may be spectacular.

bentley said...

Renovations care of Charles and Lydia Deetz.

Anonymous said...

just check and this was linked from perezhilton .com so that explains the 14 year old girls

Anonymous said...

With as much money as he has made over the years, and he goes and buys a home under $2 million makes me respect his financial responsibility.
Just because one has the money, doesn't mean they have to go buy a 5 or 6 million dollor property.
But I still vehemently dislike him, being the women abuser that I believe he his.
Mel Gibson & Chris Brown......I will NEVER forgive them. x

OrganicChic said...

@MarkyMark I totally agree with you..You guys are so mean and less of a human to say many hateful things about a person. I am not a fan of his, but at the same time it is not my business. If you listen to Rihanna songs you will notice that she is totally not a victim of the incident. She talks about it so many ways in her music that she is worse than he is. But anyway, congratulations on the young fella.

Steve Mawson said...

me likey the glass sliding door to the master bedroom.

hopefully it will be shut and locked with him inside, silence of the lambs style, and we can watch the nasty little animal he that is is walk around and around his glass box for the rest of his days.

the rest of the house can then be used as a centre for bashed women; they can show him off as an example of the perp of the crimes they are to fight to stop and every so often throw him a banana.

RESfan said...

I feel sorry for the neighbors. They're going to have to deal with his thug friends and loud music. And he definitely got a bargain for 1.5m in that area. Someone above said it was a short sale. Look for more people in the neighborhood wanting to get out & selling their homes for under the value.

Anonymous said...

His picture in 7 of 13 on the 'Zimbio' link for his car says it all. He's never looked more out of step with his cash, his surroundings or his conspicuous little car.

Anonymous said...

In response to "lil gay boy"-

Yes there is something a human can do to redeem themselves when making a mistake and that is to ask GOD for forgiveness and not people and move on.

NO, I am not a fan of Chris Brown's music but I'm a fan of people not being perfect and celebrating in people when they have achieve one's goal regardless of what that goal may be.
Wishing you much success in your life.

Babe Parish said...

Mama, In that first shot, that house looks like a giant toilet.

Mara said...

House: Soulless.

CB Fans: Crazy.

snuggs3 said...

Shut yo bitch ass up wht the fuck does any of wht your saying got to do with his house u fuck fase....he's still successful and can fuck yo wife and daughter if he wanted to...could you do the same? No!! Punk racist bitch...I wish I knew were yo home was that's "5x's" bigger is located

Anonymous said...

You all can continue to be stupid and assholes and hang on to every word you hear from the senseless and stupid blogs that make up things to grab your attention. You are what you read and Clearly some of you are heartless and haters.when he is doing the right things it is ignored....anyway the house is nice lol

Anonymous said...

All im going to say is No Sin-Is greater than the next. So while you all sit here and judge this Man for his mistake, I hope God forgives you for your mistakes. Congrats CB.

Agnes B. said...

Are you fucking kidding me? No sin is greater than the next? What a crock of shit. So, in your world telling a white lie about someone looking better than they really do to spare their feelings is the same thing as a man slapping a woman around or some asshole raping a child? You're absolutely deluded if you think that and it's not God you need but a really good mental health professional. Using this notion that God forgives and only God gets to judge in order to excuse inexcusable behavior is beyond reprehensible. I bet you wouldn't say that if Brown or some other man belted your daughter across the face or took a tire iron to your mother. Would you say then that the transgressor ought not be judged by anyone but God? Would you really?

Anonymous said...

Would you shut up and stop JUDING people you have no right! Chris brown has not done any thing to for you to talk about him that way! It's plenty of women getting the ass beat and they still going back to they man HE MADE ONE MISTAKE SO STOP JUDING HIM OF THAT IT HAPPEN 4 YEARS AGO GET OVER IT!

Anonymous said...

SHUT UP AND STOP JUDING HIM ONLY GOD HAS THE RIGHT TO DO THAT!

Anonymous said...

THEN DON'T LOOK AT HIM STUPID!

Anonymous said...

Rihanna is free to do as she pleases and if she wants to get with Brown that's her business but if Chris Brown had smacked your daughter would you want her to get back with him? Would you judge Brown then?