Thursday, December 9, 2010

Pierce Brosnan Drops Price of Long Time Home in Malibu

SELLER: Pierce Brosnan
LOCATION: Malibu, CA
PRICE: $3,500,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Smoldering-eyed actor/environmental activist Pierce Brosnan and his second wife Keely Shaye Smith–his first ladee-mate left this world in 1991 after a bout with the Cancer–have long lived in Malibu, CA where they occupy a hillside house with panoramic ocean views. However, after 15 years in this one house–an unusually and terrifically long time for a celebrity–they've decided to sell up and move on. In June of 2010 the Brosnan-Shaye Smiths heaved their long time home on the market at $3,900,000, an asking price that dropped to $3,500,000 in early December.

After a few years in the circus, a number of years in the Thee-uh-tuh, the Irish born and bred Mister Brosnan burst on to the Hollywood scene with the lead role on Remington Steele, a silly dectecto-romance on the boob-toob that ran for 5 seasons beginning in the early 1980s. Mister Brosnan's professional salad days began in the early to mid 1990s when he stepped into the storied shooz of Sean Connery and Roger Moore for his four film stint as James Bond (GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World is Not Enough, and Die Another Day). His winning streak continued into the early 2000s with starring roles in movies like the highly acclaimed Thomas Crown Affair, The Matador and Seraphim Falls. In 2008 he starred opposite Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried in the utterly ridiculous but ridiculously successful movie musical Mamma Mia!, which has garnered worldwide gross receipts of more than six hundred million clams.

What's inneresting to Your Mama about Mister Brosnan at to regards his real estate is that's he lives rather modestly for a celebrity of his stature. Don't none of you people get on here and act smarmy and tell Your Mama that a three million dollar house in Malibu is hardly modest. We know. But Mister Brosnan earned more than $40,000,000 for his James Bond films alone so y'all gotta know he could live far more lavishly if he chose.

Anyhoo, property records show Mister Brosnan purchased his house in the Bu in October of 1996 for $600,000. Records indicate Mister Brosnan purchased the property out of foreclosure. The Los Angeles County tax man shows the house measures 3,412 square feet and listing information shows the house has 3 bedrooms and 3.5 poopers including a master suite with private sitting area, balcony, and a well-equipped bathroom complete with claw-footed tub, steam shower, fireplace and "European plumbing," whatever that is.

The architecturally schizophrenic Brosnan-Shaye Smith house has, we're sorry to say, an unholy Caribbean meets Meditteranean meets Tuscan farmhouse sort of thing going on with stone balustrades, multi-paned windows, rough-hewn ceiling beams and a bit of red tile roof. The exterior glistens white in the sun and has, brace yourselves puppies, turqwuaze trim. Listen, cinnamon sticks, Your Mama always gives a mental standing ovation to any person who has the chutzpah and cajones to paint their home with a bold color that might irritate he neighbors. We ourselves have garage doors painted a particularly vibrant shade of orange that at least one of our neighbors loathes with a smile, if you know what we mean. So we have to hand it to Mister Brosnan and Miz Shaye-Smith for slapping some crazy turqwahze paint all up on their house in the Bu. But and quite frankly–the is always a but, isn't there?–we think the paint job makes the house stick out like a fifty-dollar hooker at a convention for millionaire vegans. Does that make any sense to The Children?

A long gated driveway climbs up to a good sized motor court and the house, which sits on a flag lot well back off the street. It also backs right up to bizzy and loud Pacific Coast Highway. Inside, the large and breezy living room has wide-plank oak on the floors, heavy beams across the ceiling, and a fireplace flanked by French doors that open to the grassy, courtyard-style back yard. The room is furnished with little more that a bunch of matching white slip covered furniture of the Pottery Barn variety, an ill-sized glass and iron coffee table and some colorful paintings. Altogether its really rather bland and lacks rigor and that certain decorative je ne sais quois that's vital to good home day-core. However, the real star–and perhaps the only star–of this residential show is the million dollar view of the ocean through a wall of multi-paned windows and French doors that open to a a balcony with an unexpected and sort of wacky stone balustrade that for better and worse defines the most visible and chaotic seaside facade.

A wide archway leads from the living room into the dining room punished with a variety of ceiling heights but blessed with magnificent ocean views through a trio of windows. The nearby and narrow ocean view kitchen has hexagonal Saltillo tile floors, built in cabinetry and appliances that line opposite walls, a sky light and two work islands with painted tile counter tops. Inexplicably, there seem to be a bunch of over-sized silver Christmas ornaments hanging from the ceiling and Your Mama does not even want to begin to discuss the multitude of issues we have with that giant painting of an apple cut in half that any person with functional eyeballs can see looks like an alarmingly intimate view of a female hoo-ha.

Other interior amenities, according to listing information include a library, office/media room, four fireplaces, mountain as well as ocean views, laundry facilities, and "lush, tropical landscaping."

It would appear that the Brosnan family are staying in Malibu as it's been previously reported, they're building an eco-friendly ocean front house along the star-studded sand of Broad Beach. The house was fitted with solar panels to heat the house, pool, guest house and compost pile, a water recycling system and a sophisticated lighting system that will be able to automatically shut off if there's no motion in the room for more than 5 minutes.

In addition to their home in Malibu, Mister Brosnan and Miz Shaye Smith also own a home near the star-studded Anini Beach on the north side of the island of Kauai in Hawaii. The area attracts boo-coo celebrities every Christmas–we know because we know a couple of high-profile people who sometimes go there at Christmas time–and other famous home owners in the immediate area are said to include Bette Midler, Ben Stiller and the gottam Grande Dame of the Coochie-Coochie-Coo Charo.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Previews International

14 comments:

JJ Daddy-O said...

Michael Crichton is dead, so I doubt he gets out to Hawaii much these days....

Anonymous said...

as a former malibu resident it looks to me like the house was decorated by Ali MacGraw, back when she lived in Malibu and was doing interior design. It looks like Tony's Taverna, a malibu hot spot Ali designed.

Anonymous said...

what about the monster he is re building down the street on the ocean on broad beach.......when you see the inside of that you know this place he is selling is only a temp.

Anonymous said...

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Brosnan at the Hay Adams in D.C. and he was glorious. I hope they can get rid of this house so the new owners can hurry up and get it re-decorated by a nice gay man...

Anonymous said...

@ 1:16PM: 15 years is temp?

Anonymous said...

I suspect that "European plumbing" refers to the inclusion of a bidet in the master bath for washing one's private parts after doing the dirty business...

Anonymous said...

J-J Daddy O
I wondered why I hadn't seen him around.
The Aussie

Anonymous said...

And furthermore, I'd be happy to live in a tent with Mr Brosnan.
The Aussie

MarkyMark said...

Sometimes an apple is just an apple.

Signed,

Siggie F.

Anonymous said...

Hey Realestalker Lady:

Is not Michael Crichton deceased? or is his ghost or clone frequenting Hawaii?

deb said...

the views are woonderful, the house is a nightmare.
caught a pic of pierce's wifey on line. GOOD LORD.....he should be locking the fridge at night!!!
thanks mama, this child can make it through the weekend now

cyd said...

I KNEW you wouldn't miss the vagy-ish painting in the kitchen. Does Pierce really want to look at this when he's eating? Hmmm. Don't answer this. It's what you call a ree-tor-ick-el question.

Steve Mawson again said...

Seems Mr Pierce has a fallic fetish, not just for the fanny apple, but for the 101 dangling don't know whats that purport to be lights but could easily be some other parts of a high flying cow. Very odd.

maruf hosen said...
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