SELLER: Lori Goldstein
LOCATON: East Hampton, NY
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen bunnies, Your Mama must be swift and fleet on our feet this morning because we've got a procedure scheduled and once it's done will likely be out of commission the rest of the damn day. There ain't nuthin' wrong with Your Mama, just a little thing that has to be removed and investigated. Okaaay?
Anyhoo, the rainy and gray, gray, gray weather that has set upon us Left Coasters the last few days has got Your Mama dreaming of sunshine and summertime. Plus, we're feeling a bit nostalgic for the East Coast, so we're going to piggyback on a recent report in the Wall Street Journal that some of y'all may have missed about a modern and modest house in East Hampton, NY–modest for the hoity-toity Hamptons, anways–owned by celebrated and in-demand sartorial stylist Lori Goldstein who has the place on the market at $2,150,000.
Miz Goldstein, who prolly isn't a household name for anyone who isn't in the rag trade or the vicious cut-throat fashion bizness, has styled for heaps and piles of publications including Vogue, Italian Vogue, W, and i-D. The ladee has styled for multitudes of runway shows, done up celebrities like Madonna, Demi Moore, and Julianne Moore, worked advertising images for Versace, Vera Wang and the damn Gap, and has consulted with every clothing king and queen from Nina Ricci to Carolina Herrera. Miz Thing has even been on the most recent season of the tawdry America's Next Top Model, which probably paid well but ain't such a feather in her cap, perhaps. Whatever the case, Miz Goldstein is a mover and shaker who puts wacky high fashion outfits together in order to create iconic or at least striking images that make people want to be glamorous and buy clothing that costs more than most people pay in rent. A nice job if you can do it.
Anyhoo, getting back to the real estate matter at hand, property records show that lucky Miz Goldstein had the real estate foresight to snatch up her house in the Hamptons way back in 1996. Set down now children because we're about to tell you what the famous fashioneesta paid for her place. Are you ready because you're gonna get the hard real estate truth here?
$180,000. (Gasps heard around the world especially over their in the Chelsea area of the NYC where there are a bunch of queens who'd sell their momma lickety-split for a $180,000 beach house in the Hamptons.)
No babies, we did not make a mistake and leave out an extra zero. Beehawtcha really did pay just one hundred and eighty thousand clams for her damn beach house in the Hamptons. We recognize that in some parts of the country $180,000 will still buy a pretty damn nice–or at lease large–house. But in the Hamptons, children, $180,000 won't even get you a crappy motel room in Montauk that's been turned into a condo.
Miz Goldstein's 2.7 acre wooded lair, located down a long private drive on the border of Amagansett and the woodsy Springs area of East Hampton, was originally designed by architect Richard Bender as a simple, 1960 modern hut with just 850 square feet that Miz Goldstein described in the Wall Street Journal as "this modern box that was about living with nature with lots of glass." At some point, according to listing information, Miz Goldstein made the wise decision to hire acclaimed designer Joe D'Urso to re-work and expand the residence, an overhaul that resulted in a far more generous 2,500 square foot residence with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 poopers.
The main living space, a voluminous and airy cube, has poured concrete floors, a fireplace for nippy nights and misty mornings, a skylight or two, and huge mahogany trimmed floor to ceiling doors that slide open to merge the interior spaces with the outdoor areas. The fearlessly eclectic but far from campy day-core in the living/dining room, as throughout the house, is both casual and sophisticated and includes among other tasty decorative morsels, a long, picnic style dining room table surrounded by an eclectic mixy-matchy combination of white Saarinen Tulip chairs and soo-blimely gorgeous Y-chairs–with papercord seats by dee-voon Danish designer Hans Wegner.
The sleek but not cold kitchen has a somewhat odd but functional layout and includes a wonderfully long work island/breakfast bar with a magnificent mahogany counter top and work sink lit by a vintage Vernor Panton capiz shell chandelier.
The large master suite, with its international boho chic day-core, occupies what was the living room of the original house and includes a vintage 1960s wood burning stove, two full walls of floor to ceiling windows, sizable walk-in closet, natch, and an open plan pooper with vanity table and gigantic spa tub built for two.
Terraces, decks and pea gravel patios surround the clean lined abode and the outdoor spaces include a 60-foot long saltwater swimming pool and spa, surrounded by thick foliage and a pea gravel and blue stone terrace backed by a privacy wall, that were added two years ago according the the Wall Street Journal. Also added at that time was the outdoor shower off the master bedroom. There are, butter beans, we promise y'all, few things as heavenly as showering outside on a warm summer summer day when your skin is taut from sun and salt and there's fresh corn bought from the farm stand down the street that's shucked and ready to be dropped on the barbecue. Seriously.
Miz Goldstein lives primarily in the city where, we understand she lives in the Chelsea neighborhood. We don't know if she plans to scoop up another weekend getaway in the Hamptons but we can only imagine that selling this near perfect beach shack is nothing if not bittersweet.
Now listen up little ones: Listing photos do not do this house justice. For the full effect, you really must go to the Wall Street Journal story which has a series of juicy and well-framed photos.
listing photos: Corcoran