Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Joanna Krupa and Romain Zago List Miami Condo

SELLERS: Joanna Krupa and Romain Zago
PRICE: $1,975,000
SIZE: 2,139 square feet, 2 bedrooms 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In September 2013, shortly after their long-coming nuptials in June, The Real Housewives of Miami's hot-blooded Polish model Joanna Krupa and her beefy-sexy-swarthy (and some might say smarmy) France-born and Brazil-raised husband, nightclub impresario Romain Zago, shelled out $1,369,000 for a two bedroom and three bathroom condo on the 42nd floor of the much ballyhooed Four Seasons Residences in downtown Miami, FL.

Less than a year later, amid deafening internet whispers and tabloid-y reports that the reality t.v. bigwigs at Bravo canceled the next season of The Real Housewives of Miami (RHOM), the passionate pair flipped the condo back on the market last week (April, 2014) with an asking price of $1.895 million. Within a few days the asking price plumped to its current $1.975 million. With no reality show—and hence no job—there's idle and unconfirmed chatter Miz Krupa—presumably with her man in two—will hightail it back to Los Angeles, her home before she moved to Miami to be with Mister Zago and be on t.v.

Current online marketing materials indicate the 2,139 square foot corner condo was "completely remodeled and updated with high-end finishes," although it's not clear to Your Mama if the renovations were done by Miz Krupa and Mister Zago or a previous owner. Whatever the case, interior fittings and finishes include, as per listing details, four foot square marble slab floors, a name-brand sound system, a water filtration system, electronic window shades, and a state of the art home automation system that allows temperature, sound and lighting systems to be controlled remotely by a smart phone.

Double doors open from the public corridor to a compact vestibule and a long hallway—some real estate agents might try to call it a gallery—that cuts through the apartment at a catty-wompus angle to the main living area. There appears in listing photos to be some sort of built-in entertainment unit and/or wet bar in the north- and west-facing combination living/dining room where Miz Krupa—or her decorator/stager—placed a cushion-y, low-profile taupe-toned sectional sofa and a zebra stripe ottoman in front of nearly floor to ceiling windows filled downtown tower vistas. At the dining room end of the space a glass door opens to an itty-bitty veranda with oblique Biscayne Bay views and just about enough room for two people to stand or sit (or crouch) in intimate proximity.

The kitchen isn't particularly big but is expensively and thoughtfully equipped with modern, flat-fronted cabinets with a rhythmic vertical pattern wood grain, high-gloss ebony counter tops (of unknown material), and top of the line stainless steel appliances that include a built-in microwave. A three-stool breakfast bar separates the kitchen proper from a compact breakfast nook/den area that looks out through the aforementioned veranda to the city and bay views beyond.

Both of the east-facing bedrooms have (windowless) en suite bathroom and the slightly larger master suite has two closets, one of them a decent but hardly huge sized walk-in.

At 789-feet the Four Seasons Miami is currently the tallest building in Florida and the 55th tallest building in the United States. The luxury complex offers its well-heeled residents a separate entrance with dedicated elevators and a residents only swimming pool and lounge so they need not co-mingle fraternize with the hotel guests. Residents are also given some sort of preferred membership at an upscale (and on site) health club but, seriously, children, that's not really a benefit in Your Mama's book since we'd sooner have our gin-sotted liver removed by an apprentice plumber than spend any amount of time in a place that bills itself a "health club." Anyhoo...

As was seen in the last season of the RHOM the couple moved last year or maybe the year before—don't know or care to figure out—to a fairly ordinary single-story bay-front residence in Miami Beach that property records show is not owned by Miz Krupa and/or Mister Zago but rather a corporate entity easily linked to retired Formula 1 race car driver turned Miami-based real estate mogul Eddie Irvine. (Mister Irvine, as it turns out, was sentenced earlier this year to six months in prison for a 2008 brawl in the VIP section of a nightclub in Milan. But we digress.)

Miz Krupa fashioned herself a bit of a real estate mogul on the last season of RHOM and a few peeps and pokes around various property records data bases reveals that in addition to the condo that's up for sale, her property portfolio of includes at least four, quite modest single family homes. While she may own forty fancy houses in Los Angeles the only one Your Mama could tie to the beautiful if blustery model/reality denizen is a humble 2,200-ish square foot ranch-style residence in a perfectly fine if decidedly lackluster area of Encino that she picked up in July 2004 for $670,000. Property records show Miz Krupa owns (at least) three modest homes in the western Chicago suburbs of Glen Ellyn, Villa Park, and Lombard. (The property in Lombard is co-owned with her younger and also fiery sister, Marta.)

 NOTE: While Your Mama first heard word about the Krupa-Zagos listing their Miami condo from a gal we'll call E.D. Brickell, it turns out the real estate matter was previously and first discussed by the mad-busy celebrity gossips at Radar. We went with it anyways because, well, for better and worse Your Mama loves us some Real Housewives of... franchise real estate dirt.

listing photos and floor plan: Piquet Realty and Radar Online


Anonymous said...

Whats the scoop on Il Magione at 271 S Mapleton.Word on the street is that is sold to a wealthy Saudi! Tell us MaMA!

Anonymous said...

Mama..may we just skip Florida from here on? You have refrained for a while.. None of the children care.

Anonymous said...

More Palm Beach !!!

Anonymous said...

Ugh, I HATE Miami and Floriduh in general. Can we just stick to LA, NYC, London and Paris?

Pretty please?

Anonymous said...

i never understand the point of miami. why not just live or buy a home in cuba? exact same demographics - no one speaks english! at least the landscape in cuba is actually nice and not pancake flat like miami. miami is basically the third world and the place would be a steamy version detroit if it weren't from people buying seasonal homes there. those condos are so hideous and lack any architectural detailing. just ugly stucco high rises with balconies and their estates mostly look like mcmasnions. and don't even get me started on inland miami away from the water. disgusting. miami is a poor place with low taste levels.

Unknown said...

I would like to remind everyone that dislikes reading about Miami real estate that Miami's architecture and real estate scene has been booming exponentially. Keep in mind, there are projects from Frank Gehry, Zaha Hadid, Herzog De Meuron, etc popping up all over the city.

The city has homes that sell / list for over 50,000,000 and aside from NYC, LA and San Fran I can't think of any other US city that can carry single family homes in that price range. Let's try and find something like that in Detroit...

Calling Miami third world is so ignorant. If it wasn't for the turmoil in these "third world" (non of which are third world) countries the real estate scene in the city wouldn't be reaching the levels it's at right now.

Anonymous said...

Miami has become an international city, in the same category as NYC or LA. Of course it has plenty of trashy people and real estate, just like any other big city, but there's also tons of great architecture and art there.

Anonymous said...

I loved the Florida Housewives, I am sad they will not be returning. The Atlanta wives play dirty and make me unconfortable, not a nice one in the bunch. I think Florida Real Estate is very relevant. Don't ever edit yourself Stalker!
And Roman, swarthy or swarmy was a hunk of man candy, pretty delicious on the eyes.

Anonymous said...

"The city has homes that sell / list for over 50,000,000 and aside from NYC, LA and San Fran I can't think of any other US city that can carry single family homes in that price range. Let's try and find something like that in Detroit"

Actually, I don't think anything in San Francisco has ever sold for $50MM. San Francisco doesn't have many super-lux homes.

Like it or not, folks, Miami Beach is right on par with Beverly Hills/LA when it comes to $20MM+ home sales.

Manhattan is just way above them both though.

This link from the National Association of Realtors breaks it down:


Miami has been shedding itself of the "old retired people" and "drug dealer" image and is becoming a great global city in its own right.

Anonymous said...

Miami is a dump. High taxes, bad architecture, crumbling local Govt, crime, no English speaking residents..shall I go on?

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of Caracas before the current regime. That is cheesy and sleek, plus warm and tropical. Latino to the extent that u feel unwelcome if that's not yr native tongue. Has its place but not for me.