Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Britney Spears (Finally) Buys Again

BUYER: Britney Spears
LOCATION: Thousand Oaks, CA
PRICE: $8,500,000 (listing price)
SIZE: 8,456 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Hold on to your britches, y'all, because Your Mama has recently and repeatedly had scuttlebutt slip down the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine that still-conserved international pop star and twang-talking X Factor judge Britney Spears has done bought herself a new mansion. And it's not, not surprisingly, that bluff-top, ocean-view spread in Malibu (CA) those wily X Factor people tried to pass off as her house last week when small groups of the show's hopeful contestants were invited to belt their wannabe pop star hearts out at one of the four judge's homes.

Property records don't yet reflect a transfer of ownership—which makes this all just a juicy little tidbit of celebrity real estate rumor and gossip for now—but all signs and several unsolicited sources point Your Mama towards Miz Spears purchasing a sprawling, Hacienda-style casa in sleepy and upscale Thousand Oaks, CA that was last listed on the open market in April (2012) with an asking price of $8,500,000.

Listing information we managed to brutishly inveigle out of the internets shows the multi-winged, single-story red tile-roofed residence in question, located behind the 24-hour guarded gates of the prosperously peopled Sherwood Country Club, was completed in 2010 and measures 8,456 square feet with five bedrooms and 7 bathrooms.

The unfortunately tennis-court-free mini-estate comprises two separate and slightly elevated parcels that total more than 1.4 mostly flat acres and allow for long, unobstructed views over the mansion-dotted hills and painstakingly manicured Jack Nicklaus-designed 18-hole golf course that weaves and winds its way through the super-swank ex-urban development like the tentacles of an unnaturally green octopus.

An arched, wood front door set deeply into an also-arched portico opens into a tremendous center hall entry that will certainly impress guests and the pizza delivery person too with its soaring ceiling, sumptuous limestone tile flooring and high-arched window that mirrors the arched front door and perfectly frames a distant, craggy outline of the surrounding mountains against the almost always clear blue southern California sky.

An architecturally thrilling and vaguely ecclesiastical parabolic colonnade runs alongside the airy formal dining room that's expensively outfitted in with wide plank oak floor and a high wood-beamed ceiling. An adjoining semi-circular wet bar with enough seating for at least six bleary-eyed booze hounds to sidle up to the thick slab marble counter top—or maybe it's granite—and get a good, glassy-eyed look into the also semi-circular, glass-fronted and temperature-controlled walk-in wine room.

The luscious custom oak floors extend into the immense, L-shaped open-plan family living space that includes a double-island chef-friendly kitchen with gray-veined white marble counter tops, top grade appliances and adjacent butler's pantry that we imagine is probably far larger and better equipped than most kitchens. A dizzying but sturdily impressive system of exposed beams and trusses stretch across the almost ludicrously lofty great room that's decoratively divided into a large breakfast area and even roomier family room space with fireplace and giant glass pocket-doors that glide open and disappear into the walls, allowing for an all-but-seamless merging between indoor and outdoor living areas.

Other public and semi-private rooms, according to online listings we dug up, include a library—that Your Mama is cynical enough to think will always suffer from a dearth of actual books, a pair of separate offices and a home theater/bonus room.

Listing information isn't specific as to whether each of the guest/family/domestic bedrooms have access to a private john or not but does state the spacious master suite is complete with two massive walk-in closets and a pair of bathrooms, one for the lady of the house and one for her live-in manager/mister/co-conservator.

The vast limestone tiled outdoor living spaces encompass a lounge area with fireplace, separate dining area and, in between, a semi-circular built-in barbecue center. The deep, covered verandas that extend off the back of the house give way to a (mostly) flat and fully-landscaped backyard with liberally watered and perfectly clipped lawns, rose gardens and ample sunbathing terraces on the long sides of the infinity-edged swimming pool and spa. Listing information goes on to declare the house has a five car garage plus a separate bay for golf cart storage accessible through a porte-cochère that connects the driveway at the front of the house through to an nearly enclosed rear motor court.

Miz Spears has a long, long, loooong history of house hopping—see next paragraph—and it remains to be seen how long she'll stay put in the Thousand Oaks mansion she's (allegedly) just acquired. Given that she's now living a much more stable—if still conserved—life with Mister Trawick, Your Mama hopes—selfishly, for our own sanity, natch—this is the last move for the (in)famously peripatetic Miz Spears for a very long time.

Shortly after she dumped Kevin Federwhatever, her free-loading second husband and father of her two children, Miz Spears fled the couple's marital mansion in the guard-garted Serra Retreat in Malibu (CA) and bounced around to several high end rentals in The Bu including—so the celebrity property gossip goes—a land-side cottage situated behind the illustrious gates of Malibu's Colony that Shabby Chic high priestess Rachel Ashwell sold to sitcom star Peri Gilpin in the summer of 2010 for $3,550,000.

In January 2007, well into the all-to-public unraveling during which she fraternized with some pretty unsavory sorts, repeatedly flashed her pudenda for the paps, shaved her hair off in a random beauty parlor in the San Fernando Valley and wound up being involuntarily committed the mental ward and Cedar Sinai, Miz Spears impulsively shelled out $6,750,000 for a fully-furnished 7,400+ square foot mock-Tuscan-style mansion in the guard-gated Summit community just off Mulholland Drive on the ridge between Beverly Hills and Studio City.

Sometime in late 2008 or early 2009, on the mental mend and beyond ready to leave the house in the Summit where she lived during much of her jaw-dropping and—let's be honest—downright sad downward spiral, Miss Spears decamped to the so-called Chateau Suenos, an approximately 10,000 square foot Macmansion in The Estates section of The Oaks community in Calabasas, the same neck of L.A.'s proto-suburban woods where the slickly produced tweenage heart throb bubble gum pop star Justin Beiber now lives in an almost-as-large Spanish-style mansion he bought in April 2012 for six-and-a-half million smackers.

In early 2011 by then romantically attached to her current fiancé, Tinseltown bigwig talent agent Jason Trawick, Miz Spears and clan high-tailed it to the guard-gated, celebrity-choked and equestrian-oriented Hidden Hills enclave where she rented a ginormous, 19,107 square foot multi-winged pseudo-Tudor mansion/compound with a total of 10 bedrooms and 13 bathrooms on 3.39 landscaped acres.

Hidden Hills is, of course, the same community where Jennifer Lopez owns a home as do Melissa Etheridge, Nicolette Sheridan and Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne who have become so desperate to unload their Hidden Hills house they put it out for lease earlier this year at fifty grand a month and moved it to a plush, rented hacienda-style casa located on a wide, tree-lined street in the flats of Beverly Hills.

Apparently Miz Spears didn't cotton much to the Tudor-style pile in horsey Hidden Hills because by the end of 2011 she'd once again packed up her two tots and collection of Daisy Dukes and settled into yet another rented mansion, this time a 10,567 square foot architectural ugly duckling inside the 24-hour guarded gates of the hoity-toity Sherwood Country Club where initiation fee were reported last year by the folks at The Hollywood Reporter to be around $160,000 and some of the deep pocked members are said to include Mel Gibson, Will Smith, Kevin James and Justin Timberlake.

Located far far far from the maddening crowds and ever-present paps in Tinseltown, the Sherwood Country Club is none-the-less a coveted location with all sorts of celebs and other high-profile peeps looking for a luxurious suburban country club sort of lifestyle. Disgraced former Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo recently sold a red brick Georgian-Colonial mini-manse that backs up to the community's 2nd fairway and Hollywood scion turned reality t.v. star turned baby factory Tori Spelling and her actor husband Dean McDermott leased a 2.45 acre estate with an approximately 9,000 square foot main house inside the Sherwood Country Club gates in April (2012). To be honest, chickens, we're not sure if they remain in residence.

Avid celebrity real estate watchers will recall the verdant and affluent Sherwood Country Club is the same golf-centric community where financially-embattled former professional baseball player Lenny Dykstra lost the 6.6+ acre estate and neo-Georgian mansion he bought from former professional puck pusher Wayne Gretzky to the salivating maw of foreclosure in the fall of 2010 and it's also the same gated enclave where tennis titan Pete Sampras custom built a hulking, 13,000-ish square foot contemporary with a separate 1,200 square foot guest house and 2,000 square foot fitness facility and, even before the paint was dry, caught a classic case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle and flipped it on the market in March 2010 with a $25,000,000 price tag. The sprawling Sampras estate, pretty much right next door the Brit and Jase's new digs, is still for sale with a reduced asking price of $19,950,000.

listing photos: Re/Max Olson via Zillow


Shopgirl said...

Mama -- technically Kevin Federline was hubby #2.

This house seems nice. I hope she bought it furnished!
Glad thinks all worked out for her.

Anonymous said...

If you look at the lot, it's surrounded by road on three 'sides'. I'm surprised it's not more private.

Footie said...

This house is SO MUCH BETTER than the places she's been leasing -- I'm actually surprised she picked it.

Anonymous said...

A house with no personality for a person with no personality? Figures.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

If the rumor is true that she moved out to Thousand Oaks because it is closer to Kevin's house thus easier for her kids to back and forth between their parents homes, my guess is that she probably will stay in this house a while.

Anonymous said...

That should be to go back and forth.

Anonymous said...

But, you know, we should support
the President, you know, because
he's...the know?

Anonymous said...

I must confess--I still believe--hit me Britney one more time!

Likes the home. Exterior nice. Old world Los Feliz Spanish exterior. All the modern comforts and new systems.

Nice materials, fixtures, and textiles. Not so into the "modern" twist they did with the beams and light fixtures.

Change the light fixtures and that lighting to warm it up and relax it and fill in some of that overhead airspace.

Look at that pool and view!

Britney, you outdid yourself. You won't go crazy near as much in this house! Very calm. Relaxing, nice flow. One level homes are comforting. It can be big, but low key. This is nice. Lot's of home for the $, comparitavaly speaking in LA and all the "finer" areas. Maybe Brit's will settle, stay, and not lose ca$sh on this one.

It would be truly hard to get me out of bed, but mainly the house, to tour, go to the X-Factor or anything else. Nice home--and Daddy Spears and K-Federate must be happy that they can play golf when visiting.

Britney Spears--the "original" TMZ teardown--the unlikely survivor from the wild west days of the mean spirited paper rags (Enquirer/Star) and stalkerazzi.

Country Girl Can Survive!!

Mama's Black Sheep in WEHO,
Still here!! Just like Britney--not broke and taking life at MY pace!! Un-beweavable!!

Anonymous said...

I can see why the controllers would let her buy this. Its very nice. It reminds me of what the Kardashians would buy if they had any taste. Have to give this girl some credit on this purchase. Love it!

Anonymous said...

Nice home. She can easily have hedges, etc. put in for privacy,

but in essence buying a home that backs to a road is tough to sell. Perhaps, it's a residential road?

Anonymous said...

The Dykstra / Gretzky mansion was back on the market recently for $18m and some change recently. They redid and reworked it a bit and it was gorgeous in the redo.

Any word on what happened? Did they pull it off the market or did it sell?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Like Mama's Black Sheep, I'm wishing Britney well in her new home, and am glad that Black Sheep is still in WEHO enjoying life. But, Mama, quit using all them dictionary words! I had to google parabolic, peripatetic, and pudenta, although I kinda figured out that last word cause how it was used in the sentence. Scuse me now while I drink to Britney's recovery!

Studly Tower

Anonymous said...


i like the house, it looks great.

its just that i find it funny that in country of free, she isnt allowed to run her own affairs, while at the same time she makes millions by tours and being JUDGE on TV :)

how can she judge if she is in conservatorship? :)

Petra's said...

Call me crazy, but... I kinda like it?

Love how open the floor plan is. Could do without those huge ceiling beams (bet they are a bitch to clean, too) but other than that it's cool, kind of a mini-cathedral vibe. Oh, and Britney dear, get rid of that hideous chandelier in the kitchen.

The exterior facade is rather plain but I'm not going to nitpick anymore! Lord knows this is a good step towards recovery for her.

Anonymous said...

Feel sorry for her neighbors. Papparazi will camp out at the gates. Others will try to scam their way into the gated community. Excitement wears off quickly for the neighbors.

Anonymous said...

Feel sorry for her neighbors. Papparazi will camp out at the gates. Others will try to scam their way into the gated community. Excitement wears off quickly for the neighbors.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I am sure Brit will be cussin all the while she is cleaning the beams. Uhm 10:59 the handlers didnt cut her spending back THAT much that she can not have a house manager, I can assure you. And I really admire the beams, and the whole house for that matter. 8k square feet is a very sensible square footage, and the outdoor spaces add to it. Well done!

Petra's said...

Hunny, it's well-known around here that Brit Brit does all her own housework. She may be very rich now, but she's a down-home gal from Tennessee at heart and knows how to keep it real. Good for her! Now cut the sass.

Anonymous said...

"Hollywood scion turned reality t.v. star turned baby factory"


Jesse said...

This home feels like "her" imho.

Some of the homes she was renting seemed cold in pictures.

While large, this place still feels like a home and I can picture her and Jason sitting in the living room watching the kids play.

She seems to have found herself again and I think the reason she agreed to X Factor is so that people can see that she's back.

I don't know why people give her such a hard time and thinks she's fake. She cries every time someone under 15 is disappointed on that show. She loves kids, which is why hers are always with her and why Kevin travels with her and the boys.

l'il gay boy said...


Anonymous said...

Us Britney fans LOVE YOU, Mama!!!

Thanks for always keepin' it real and keepin' us in the loop.

One thing: why can't I find the address? Usually I can find it, but not this time.


Anyone help?


Tony B

Anonymous said...

Never mind. Got it!

Love ya, Mama!

Swear if you were on facebook I'd friend ya, and if you tweeted I'd follow ya!


*bear hug*

Anonymous said...

this house is uglier than britneys cooch, and thats saying something

Anonymous said...

12:33-Britney is from Louisiana, not Tennessee.

Rosco Mare said...

I kinda like it too; though, this style isn't usually my bag unless it's the real vintage Mediterranean deal. Nice curb appeal.

Anonymous said...

The house looks great. A staged house for sale is supposed to look neutral. Her personality made her able to buy a 8+ million dollar house. What has your bitter one done for you??

Anonymous said...

Nice home, no way Britney picked this herself.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mama? Ya know we love ya, right? *big grin*

Have you heard word yet if this has actually happened, or is still a tasty rumor?

When you hear for sure, would you let us know?

Thanks again! Us Britney fans sure love ya!

*bear hug*

Tony B

Anonymous said...

She is an example that if a fallen celebrity has family or very good friends to HELP one, it doesnt have to end bad. I pray for this honey boo boo kid that someone will intervene in her life.

Anonymous said...

Off topic a bit, but the Hidden Hills pile Britney rented in 2011 is owned by Ronald Tutor, the guy who dropped a bazillion bucks to buy a Beverly Park estate that wasn't even finished.

Petra's said...

My dear Anon 10:04, you are annoying. Like a small fly.

shell said...

Brit is alive today because her parents intervened and got a conservatorship over her.

Anonymous said...

What has that girl honestly done in her life to deserve a place like that? She's been dragged around and propped up like a sequel to Weekend At Burnie's for the past decade. They slap a mic on her, push her out onto the stage, fire up the CD player and make her lips move. That's IT. What a world we live in.

Anonymous said...

Typical McMansion snoozefest. Btw has anyone seen her on the xfactor? Omg she looks like such a hot mess nowadays.

MamasBoy said...

This was such a fun read--lively comments and all. I have mixed feelings about the house, but kudos to all the positive thinkers!

Anonymous said...

Has this been confirmed yet?

Anonymous said...

Mama what is the chic name for the indoor/outdoor living space? AMAZING!

Anonymous said...

Real Estalker: 'Mama' lives in an apartment and doesn't know shit about architecture. She writes for a wanna-be TMZ and looks out at her studio patio and thinks the brick wall across the alley with pigeon shit on it is making it. Enjoy Mama!

Anonymous said...

Finally, someone has called Martha out...Wishes he could be a shemale and be on the other side of the camera and news....Poor Martha.

Anonymous said...

LOL. Why are the Britney fans mad at Mama? She was actually quite complimentary to the house! Nothing pleases the children these days I guess.

Anonymous said...

★ Hey Mama? If Miss Britney moves to Vegas, you'll let us know, right?

Thanks again, love ya!!

*bear hug*

-Tony B ★

Unknown said...

As much as Malibu became the home of famous stars, the budding Malibu rehabs are also their to cater high-end clientele.

Anonymous said...

Mama? You always do right by us Britney fans.

Have you any information on her place there?

LOVE YOU MAMA!!! *bear hug*

T o n y B

KMK Real Estates said...
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