Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman List in The Birds

SELLER: Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $12,650,000
SIZE: 3,803 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

NOTE TO THE CHILDREN: Before we get to the meat of the matter Your Mama feels the (probably unwise) compulsion to address the few but wicked-tongued naysayers who have reared their angry heads here the last few weeks.

Despite what some of y'all may think, the truth of the matter is, due to the nature of providing regular and ongoing content for this here blog-thingy and the various other (sometimes related) projects we having going at any given time Your Mama can't recall having more than three days off in a row in more than five years. That's not a complaint, just a statement of fact. Don't believe Your Mama? Ask our spouse The Dr. Cooter who sometimes gets (justifiably) annoyed at the amount of time we spend around here or any of the 292 posts we've put up so far this year or the 425 posts we did in 2011. Some of y'all may not always care for the schedule we keep, the bastardized syntax we sometimes use and/ or appreciate the quality of the "celebrity" we're discussing on any given day but that don't mean we're slacking off. Bitch, pleeze.

We love working our little online endeavor, but like everyone else, sometimes Your Mama needs a day here and a day there to take care of personal business. We're not really sure who these people are who think we or anybody else ought to be chained to our trusty (if sometimes mercurial) laptop computer seven days a week but that's just ludicrous. Don't like it? Well, that's just do damn bad for you, ain't it? Think we ought to hire someone to help when we're otherwise occupied with such trivialities of life as, say, selling a house and moving to a new city as Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are doing right now? How about you volunteer your services or, better yet, cough up a fat donation to help pay for a back up girl. We may be married to a doctuh, hunties, but that don't mean Your Mama don't have to bring in some dinero to help maintain our household.
So, seriously, settle down now, take your blood pressure medication, mix a gin & tonic and get a damn grip before you give yourself a heart attack griping about some silly blog focused on the terrifically inane and entirely inconsequential (yet intriguing) milieu of celebrity real estate. Capiche? Capiche.

Now then, let's move on...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Maybe it's because those hunky but whiny Winklevii twins just dropped $18,000,000 for the pushy-sexy and newly-completed contemporary crib next door or maybe, of course, it's some other entirely different reason but whatever the reason(s) Emmy-winning sitcom star Megan Mullally and wood-working actor Nick Offerman recently put their longtime Los Angeles, CA residence up for sale with a $12,650,000 price tag.

Miz Mullally's to-date professional pinnacle came in the late 1990s as the acerbic, sassy and ostentatiously rich Karen Walker on Will & Grace, a role for which she received two Emmys and numerous more nominations. Since that program went dark in 2006 the petite fireplug has—ahem—shilled for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and shaken her money maker in a number of recurring roles on a variety of tee-vee projects including (the short-form) Children's Hospital and the highly regarded sitcom Parks & Recreation.

Her droll hubby Nick Offerman, a capable and accomplished wood-worker and furniture maker in his spare time, has toiled in Tinseltown for an ice age but didn't really get his big Showbiz break until 2009 when he appeared in the quirky movie The Men Who Stare at Goats and was cast the same year as the lovably dystopic Libertarian Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation. Like his wife, Mister Offerman also appears regularly on the long-running, short-form sitcom Childrens Hospital.

Property records show Miz Mullally and Mister Offerman purchased the 1963 contemporary, a crisp collection of white cubes tucked behind a tall, painstakingly maintained and very green hedge, in March 2003 for $3,950,000. It doesn't take an arithmetic expert to recognize that should the homebody sitcommers realize a sale price anywhere near their asking price they'll be rolling in real estate clover to be sure.

The single story residence, fairly modestly scaled for well-to-do Tinseltown types and photographed for the glossy pages of the September 2010 issue of Elle Decor, measures 3,803 square feet with, according to current listing information, three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.

Although Miz Mullally has a keen interest in and knack for the decorative arts—she told the Elle Decor people she'd pick interior decorator as a second career—the day-core was done up and did over with the guidance of talented L.A.-based lady-decorator and shopkeeper Ames Ingham who balanced snow white walls, ebony-stained wood floors and (mostly) neutral-toned linen and velvet upholstered pieces with bold graphic patterns and vivid zings of bright and saturated color.

The long, sky-lit entrance hall hung—with nearby powder pooper sheathed in exquisite black and white peacock feature print wall covering by murdered Australian textile designer Florence Broadhurst—extends deep into the house where it pops opens up to a low-key "formal" living room with fireplace, multiple seating areas, and wide bank of windows that frame a ponderous view of Los Angeles that extends—on a clear day—beyond the gleaming towers of Century City to the Pacific Ocean.

A matching set of framed, suzani print panels in the otherwise all black and white dining room flank the doorway to the relatively compact, clean-lined kitchen. Current online listings don't show the kitchen but in the Elle Decor spread it's shown cleanly outfitted in flat-fronted, white-washed oak cabinetry with simple, nipple-like pulls, buff-colored CaesarStone countertops and, natch, high-grade appliances. The adjoining breakfast/family room takes on a decidedly feminine pink-, fuchsia- and plum-accented color palette with an abstract print rug and a lovely collection of small artworks hung salon-style.

Like the living room, the serene, nearly all white master bedroom opens to the back yard and view through a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows and the attached bathroom is equipped with a separate soaking tub and shower and custom, white-washed oak cabinetry similar (if not identical) to that in the kitchen.

The wedge-shaped backyard may be small but it's flat—a real estate blessing in these steep-ravined parts—and offers a few terraces up near the house, a good sized lawn for the pooches and other household pets to do their dirty bizness, and a plunge-sized swimming pool ringed by eight meticulously clipped and damn cute boxwood orbs. Then, of course, there's the view, the exact sort of thing multi-million dollar real estate dreams are woven with in Los Angeles.

In addition to the Mullally-Offermans and those Winklevii fellas, the Bird Streets neighborhood—so-called because all the streets are named after birds, natch—is home to scads of rich and famous folks who include (bur are far from limited to) Keanu Reeves, Leonardo Di Caprio, and prolific songwriter Diane Warren who bought her H-shaped house way back in 1995 for $2,625,000 from billionaire media and music mogul David Geffen.

listing photos: Keller Williams Beverly Hills


Desert Donna said...

Mama we have your back! It is beneath you to have to address these haters. If Ellison's daughter cant sell her birds house, doesnt the price seem optimistic here? And that art at the end of the pool looks down right dangerous for Karen Walker types..

Anonymous said...

This is rediculous. The gorgeous pile a few down (Simon Fuller's old casa) (Think A Walkton owns it now) was stunning, new, gleaming, and less moneies. This Tanager address is crazy in price points and almost unrealistic comparison to other Bird Addresses.

Anonymous said...

Moma - don't you pay a luck of attention to the haters!! We LOURVE us some Moma and those idiots who have nothing better to do need to First: get an FING grip and Second get an FING life! Much much love!!

palebo7 said...

Good for the Mullally-Offermans!
They can always come down in price, but you can never go up.
Its a stunning property.

Anonymous said...

Mama, holy heck, you cannot be moving so soon?! Of course I wish you well and know it is for the best of the both of you, I am just sad. When anyone creative puts themselves out there and shares something so personal, the internet allows all sorts of people to comment, often times anonymously(like myself). Ignoring the negative comments has to be tough, but Mama, it's part of being in the celebrity world. There you go, you're a celebrity! I don't know what kind of satisfaction people get out of being ugly but clearly you cannot listen their crap. My own Mama would have just told you that they're jealous, and she would be right. All of this being said, Mama remember how bright you make all of our days when you allow us a peek into a world that is not our own. Best of luck to you and Dr. Cooter and the kids. LA once again is losing it's favored son

The Swan said...

Do you think this Bob Ray Offenhauser or John Elgin Woolf...I see similarities.

LOVE your blog, GENIUS and singular...perhaps those haters are other realtors?

Anonymous said...

Whoever was responsible for those lavender pillows on the sofa should be taken out and shot. Black ones would have been so much better and more tasteful.

Gilsner said...

Shut up, are people seriously peeved that you've taken "time off"? I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you had some sort of contractual obligation to us, what with us NOT PAYING YOU to read your site. How DARE you provide us FREE entertainment and not be at our beck and call?

Seriously the stupidest thing I've heard all day. And believe you me, I've heard some EXTREMELY stupid things today. This just makes me sad. You shouldn't feel guilty or rushed during your time off. You are witty and brilliant and insightful and resourceful and we should be lucky you're here at all. End of story. I'm sorry people are doucebags. Don't ever lose sight of how many people adore you and how deserving you are of every wonderful moment you have in life... including (and especially) the ones that occur offline.

l'il gay boy said...

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!"

Smack 'em with the wooden spoon...

Sasha said...

I love you Mama! I found your site about 4yrs ago and came to it for inspiration/ideas from your celebrity listings. What I found was so much, much better! YOU ARE A FANTASTIC AND ENTERTAINING WRITER. I don't care if you post once a day, week or month, I am just glad you do!! No real estate blog compares to this one.

Fancy Nancy said...

Don't listen to nobody, Mama!! I love you!!!!
Fancy Nancy

Anonymous said...

Hey Mama,
Our family has been loyal to your fun and informative online endeavor for 3+ years.... and sadly, at times we've had to miss a day or week or two here and there. Ya know, campaigns can be time consuming and sometime you just gotta take a break from the interwebs. A mental health day off from the usual routine is good for you. Dismiss the haters, embrace your cause.
Sincerely, The Palins. Todd, Sarah, Truck, Bristol, Willer, Pippa and Stump.

Anonymous said...

This looks like a wonderful home for Honey Boo Boo, Mama Bear, Chickidee and the rest of the family. Season Two: The Clan Moves West

DC Guy said...

Mama, Candy Spelling said it best: pay no mind to the rude people and ungrateful children. We love us some Mama just as you are. Keeping us entertained with your wit as you can.

Carla in California said...

Mama, you're the best! I'm sorry you have felt underappreciated by a group of losers who can't get their sh*t together. Damn ingrates!

I hope you don't get too stressed moving from one locale to another. Hopefully, it's an improvement and will give you another excuse to enjoy a gin&tonic.

As for Mulally's home, I just adore these bird street homes and their spectacular views. What a beautiful backyard! I don't know anyone who couldn't plop themselves down with a good drink and enjoy the scenery alone or with some quality company. However, I wish the pool was bigger. This is definitely a lounge pool and not an exercise pool. But we digress....

Hugs and kisses to you Mama and the Dr. Cooter. You are loved and appreciated very much. Thank you for this website and all of the time and effort you put into it for the rest of us to enjoy.

Shopgirl said...

Mama -- love all your writing!

I smell a DEE-VORCE for Ms. Mullally.

Anonymous said...


The Torah says a rebellious child should be grasped by the ears, brought to the city elders, declared as wayward, rebellious, gluttonous, and drunken, and pelted with stones. Rabbinical commentary insists this never occurred; however, the ungrateful Children are just asking for something more severe than your wooden spoon.

May your move be easy and may life in your new city be delightful for you and The Dr. Cooter. And we would love to have you in Trenton!

Rabbi Hedda LaTess and her entire congregation, including
Studly and Rodney and
Verandah and Patti

FonHom said...

Mama, I'm grateful for the time, talent and thought you spend on this website. RealEstalker is a gift to everyone who reads it.

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

To my Momma,

Well, you done did it. I was getting used to saving money on plane tickets to come see you around holiday time these last few years, but it is what it is and it do what it do.

Oh well. You always were an overachiever and medicated yourself with the gins and tonics and nerve pills. That's why we don't always see eye to eye. Even at this age, your still shooting down the stars and making a name for yourself.

My advice to my well worn and bedraggled Momma:

Do what Nikki Finki did and let a few of your admiring heffers help you out.
Maybe email them the listings and let them give the descripcions a whirl. You know, remain the queen behawtch and oversee and deligate a bit, maybe. I would help you out because I got your flair, but none of your work ethic or deep interest in entertaining others.

These other "adopted" children get on my dizzam nerves sometimes, leave me no quality time with my own Momma and have me ready to retort to some of these triffling primadonnas who just can't enjoy and be a fan. Can't they find something else to do with their time for a week or so here and there??

Who comes here to start trouble in Momma's own hood? Fo real. Is it that serious. Can't you just take it or leave it and get a life??

Anywhoo's, solution number two:

On your birthday month, all of momma's true childrens can send you 20.00--I hope there is a lot--and you can take the WHOLE birthday month off!! I am serious. Momma needs a sobatical and Dr. Cooter needs momma to detox and debrief the buying and sellings of the famous, not so famous, and infamous.

Solution number 3:

Any truly nasty, offensive, and off track--or spam--comment DELETE it. Go ahead Momma. Don't entertain that!! Don't even think about it and don't give them the satisfaction of publishing. Just delete and move on. There are some truly unhappy and miserable people out there--it is not you. Just delete and keep the neighborhood clean of graffiti!

Momma's black sheep in WEHO,

Still here! And all the haters who don't "get it", that it is about real estate and our Momma's opinion, with a little "sas" from the loyal children, please just get over yourself and let me forward you the link to where "Average Joe" is now hanging out and waiting on the real estate prices to drop 50 more percent. Still waiting........oops, are they now going up?

Anonymous said...

Let me add my voice to the chorus Mama - ignore the trolls!!! If someone doesn't like what they see on a blog, fer craps sake, just move on! None of us loyal (and long time) followers of Mama's musings gives a rats ass what you haters think about it.

Froggy ze Frog, aka Horomaniac said...


Love you Mama, no matter what the haters (dare I say haters?) might think. According to French labour law, you actually should be entitled to 5 (yes FIVE) full weeks for (paid) holidays every year!

Yours truly,
Froggy ze Frog

Froggy ze Frog, aka Horomaniac said...

Woops! Meant to type: Love you Mama, no matter what the haters (dare I say LOSERS?) might think.

Hot Chocolate said...

Like RuPaul says "I always try to come from a place of love but sometimes you just have to break it down for a bitch". Amen, Mama. Keep on keeping on. Love ya!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

You say we should ask the "Dr. Cooter?" Ok, I'm asking him to confirm your claim. Please have him make a blog post confirming your bullshit.

Amanda B. Rekendwith said...

Mama, please take off as many days in a row as you would like. Your loyal fans will wait patiently for your next piece of creative genius.
As for the deluded, who somehow think the world revolves around them, and that you must kowtow to their whims and wants, try to remember that all they have is nastiness and expectations, while you have talent, grace, and passion. And fans. Legions of fans.
Good luck with the move and I hope you are back in the saddle whenever you feel like it. You are ALWAYS worth the wait.
Kisses and hugs.

Petra's said...

Mama, you are the best and don't ever forget it.

Landru said...

What is wrong with people? How can they not realize what a huge effort it takes to produce this stuff regularly? Even when you travel (and you always warn ahead of time) you usually pop in with something. Don't listen to them. Why do they have to be so ungrateful? The rest of us all clamor for more of you too, and you well and good luck on your move. Maybe do a write-up of your new place!

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Give 'em hell, MAMA! We love you!

I wonder if ole Ron Swanson keeps a cache of cashmoney or weapons buried underground at this house, too?

FalseProfit said...

4-doors down from Keanu, 5 from Leo. I wonder if this listing would lose a couple million if not for the proximity factor. Not that I don't loooove the birds, but I'd rather live in Trousdale for that money.

Momma! You're the best. Anything I can do to help with your transition, you just let me know.

All the best,


Naughty Nancy said...

Mama, for every one nasty commenter, know that there are at least fifty other very appreciative readers who don't necessarily have the time or inclination to comment. I just want to echo everyone else and say THANK YOU!

As for the house, not bad but if I were purchasing that pool would have to go. Way too small and doesn't take advantage of that incredible view at all. A nice, long, infinity-edged rectangular one would be spectacular AND actually useful for swimming laps. I can see it already! Too bad I don't have the $12M+ lying around.

Naughty Nancy said...

BTW Mama, can you tell us who purchased Roman Abromovich's old Bird Streets house about a year back for $19.5M. Far as I can tell that's the most valuable house in this area, and no one seems to know who the buyer is.

Anonymous said...

Mama I love your "POP OFF" stance. And i luvs urs syntax-snack. Take some days moves, move some boxzzz we'll wait.

Anonymous said...


Why are you and the good doctor leaving LA LA Land? We thought you loved it there better than NYC.

Love the blog, truly I do! You should enjoy time off every chance you get...life is too short (and the list of those who are jealous is far too long). Keep doing what you are doing...