Wednesday, July 18, 2012

UPDATE: They Call It Versailles

Earlier today Your Mama blathered and rattled on (and on) about the documentary film called The Queen of Versailles that documents the triumphs, travails and (still ongoing) efforts of time share tycoon David Siegel and his wife Jackie to complete construction on Versailles, the monstrous, 90,000 square foot faux-French palace-y pile they're building about 20 minutes outside downtown Orlando, FL.

Although they have floated and flitted their way across the interweb via various property gossip blogs and websites, the double-doozy floor plans first appeared on a still-active website set up to market the still-for-sale property, now listed (unfinished) with a $65,000,000 price tag.

We can't vouch for the authenticity or accuracy of the floor plans but as best as we can surmise these plans do indeed follow very closely to the basic shape and layout of the house as described and seen in photographs in current (and past) listings, press accounts of the property, and the aforementioned documentary film. And, remember, they do come from a website with contact information for the current listing agents. So they do appear to be pretty damn real.

Real and/or accurate or now, they are something to behold. We don't know what, exactly, but something.

floor plan renderings:


Anonymous said...

what exactly is a Fan Room supposed to be?

sam said...

I only see one kitchen not 10 mentioned in the other post.

Anonymous said...

Oh my, these floor plans leave me absolutely speechless. And no, not in the good way. This is quite possibly the most terribly laid out home I have ever seen. At first glance this could actually be a hotel, and you would not need to change the layout one single bit. There is absolutely no flow whatsoever to this place, it is literally like they just threw rooms in where they could fit with total disregard to how said room should function. If they seriously want to sell this place they should attempt to get it re-zoned and sell it as a reception hall/ event venue.

DC Guy said...

Holy ostentatiousness, Batman. A 14 car garage. A skating rink. Children's Theater Room. Children's Family Room. I don't even have a damn family room.

Anonymous said...

OK - clearly these people nor the designers have ever been to Versailles. This is a huge train wreck.

However, the information appears to be accurate. There are 10 kitchens on the plan if you actually look at them:
1. LL - guest room
2. LL - maid's room
3. LL - maid's room
4. Main Level - primary kitchen
5. Main Level - exterior summer kitchen
6. Main Level - formal living room kitchen (look at it!!!)
7. Main Level - double sided aquarium room kitchen
8. Main Level - guest bedroom kitchen
9. Upper Level - children's family room kitchen
10. Upper Level - master sitting room kitchen
11. Upper Level - guest suite kitchen (mis colored part of plan).

OK - it appears the exterior summer kitchen doesn't count in the official 10 kitchens. However, all but the main kitchen are cheesy open suburban kitchens with pull up stools (fitting the designers). Really, a formal living room with a little kitchenette in it?!?! Why not a discreet bar around the corner and a clear separation of served vs. service? What a concept.

I do despise such horrible taste and waste of resources. It's so pathetic. At least people like the Saperstein's attempted something higher in concept and quality.

Oh Momma, I need a drink!

Rugby E. Root said...

A "Fan Room" is where you keep the objects needed for the Fan Dance.

That, or it's a nice way of saying the HVAC blowers live here.

Grandma Root, who raised me from a pup, always said: "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit here." I'm going to go against all her teachings and point out the ONE perfectly positive thing that can be said about this... abode: the servants' rooms are HUGE!

Now, one more medicinal gin n tonic and to bed with me.

Anonymous said...

Amazing to see something that makes Fleur de Lys look like an exercise in restraint and good taste - at least the Sapersteins actually visited Versailles and studied it, not that what they built is anything like. So appropriate that Disney World is only minutes away from this place, but it might fit right in on the Vegas Strip, with an hourly show out front of actors playing Marie Antoinette being taken to the guillotine.

Anonymous said...

It is an outrage to call this pile Versailles. This heap of building materiel only prooves that money does not equal taste.

Anonymous said...

This house was initially supposed to be built in Great Falls, VA -- Just outside DC, but the neighbors said, "The hell you say."

Anonymous said...

Sorry, MY bad. This is a different Versailles than the one that was supposed to be built in Great Falls, VA. The Great Falls house was ALSO based on Versailles. Different family entirely.

charlie said...

My problem would be buying a 90 million dollar house from people who can't spell 'colonnade'. It's a principle.

Petra's said...

"Money can't buy you class. Elegance is learned, my friend."

-Countess LuAnn

l'il gay boy said...

Such astonishing vulgarity boggles the mind...

I believe Biltmore will still be the largest private residence in the US, but this steaming pile will most likely knock Oheka Castle (where Royal Pains is filmed) out of second place.

Given the location, it stands a good chance of being either the largest abandoned home in America or it's most expensive tear-down.

Anonymous said...

The only thing this place has in common with Versailles is that an entire nation will like to behead the builders of this pile as well. This woman is trying to be like Marie Antoinette, but clearly she neglected to finish reading that whole story. As for the whole documentary lawsuit, what the fuck did that old guy think was going to happen? Even if it was 2006 and our economy was chugging along like a Japanese bullet train, it would still be impossible to present him and his prostitute friend, sorry meant "wife," in a positive light.

Oh and also, Orlando? Seriously? You could not pay me $90 million bucks to move to Orlando, let alone get me to pay you so I could move there. No one with a spare hundred million lying around would be caught dead spending it on a faux-chateau in fucking Orlando.

Candy Spelling said...

This place will never sell, and that's a fact. Remember what happened with Champ D'or? Ended up selling at auction for under $10 million, and the new owners aren't even going to use it as a home, they're going to turn it into a resort.

And at least Champ D'or had a few redeeming qualities about it. This has none, as far as I can see. Hideous in every aspect. I highly doubt it would even sell at auction.

If you're going to design a huge house, do what Aaron and I did and pick the right location, the right architects, the right layout. I may be no fan of old Susie Saperstein, but she and her ex got it right with their house. This is an abomination of epic proportions, the likes of which may never be topped.

Anonymous said...

It certainly is excessive--reminds me a little of Richie Rich's home in the old kids' tv show.

What does concern me more is that neither the owners, the architect (I assume there was one, although his/her alma mater may not be proud to claim that) nor the realtor noticed the numerous spelling errors on the plans. Collinade? Annte room? And a Relaxion pool? That's not even a word! Sloppiness pure and simple. When marketing a property that at one time was asking $100 mil, *that* is unforgivable.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Children:

Must the Rabbi be Mama's sole child experiencing this floor plan porn as masterfully conceived and ideally executed? Guest rooms on three different levels for A, B, and C-list guests! Adjacent kitchens for guests to fend for themselves, instead of taking advantage of the Rabbi's renowned hospitality and monopolizing her overworked staff! Twin powder rooms and twin staircases for orthodox, binary gender-separated use! The children's theater juxtaposed to their computer study room, convenient when homework becomes boring!

And the Rabbi's little slice of heaven? The brilliant contiguity of the media room and library! When the Rabbi wearies of studying the Book of Exodus, she adjourns next door and watches Land of the Pharoahs, starring Joan Collins; when the Rabbi wearies from considering the afterlife, she retires next door and watches Tales from the Crypt, starring Joan Collins; when the Rabbi can no longer contemplate the biblical Book of Esther, she moves next door and watches Esther and the King, starring Joan Collins. Oy, a machayah! The Rabbi needs a cigarette.

Rabbi Hedda LaTess
Future Empress of Versailles
and Chief Rabbi of Orlando

Anonymous said...

omg, now that's a "hot mess" of a "home". i hope the husband has a place for the "lovely" chair in the house that he was sitting in during the 2 minute video. LOL

Anonymous said...

The trailer looks amazing! What a trainwreck, but in a GOOD way!

Dunno about y'all, but this is what I'll be watching this weekend. Batman can suck it.

Anonymous said...

Trash currently has her a stripper pole. Wonder where the new one (or more?) will go...

Anonymous said...

when i clicked on the floor plans, it gave me a virus warning.