Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne On the Move...Again

SELLERS: Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne
LOCATION: Hidden Hills
SIZE: 10,930 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 6 full and 4 half bathrooms
PRICE: $12,999,000

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Doddering but charming rock legend Ozzy Osbourne and his busy-busy ambitious wife/manager Sharon sold their religious icon-laden mansion in Beverly Hills, CA in August 2007 for $11,500,000 to dirty songbird Christina Aguilera. Since then, Miz Aguilera made a baby, separated from her music exec hubby Jordan Bratman, signed on to a smash hit reality program The Voice, and heaved her no-longer happy marital house on the market in March 2011 with an asking price of $13,500,000.

The Osbournes, ex-pat Brits who live primarily stateside nowadays, decamped the meticulously manicured streets of Beverly Hills for the horsey guard-gated semi-rural/über suburban Los Angeles community of Hidden Hills. Property records and previous reports show the Prince of Darkness and his high-glitz power princess-wife/manager paid $12,388,500 for a substantial mansion with gorgeous vistas across the surrounding hills and towards the Pacific Ocean.

After a bit of bedroom reconfiguration and a doozy of a decorative do up by famed (and famous) nice, gay decorator Martyn Lawrence-Bullard, Missus and Mister Osbourne had their rambling, country-glam digs in the celebrity-packed suburban sticks photographed for the June 2011 issue of Architectural Digest. Missus Osbourne herself commented in the article that she and the mister get real estate "itchy feet" and have never lived anyplace longer than seven years. It should come as a surprise to no one then–least of all the folks at Architectural Digest–that yesterday Missus and Mister and Osbourne hoisted their mansion in Hidden Hills on the market with an asking price of $12,999,000.

Your Mama did a few quick and rudimentary calculations on our bejeweled abacus that indicate that even if the Osbournes manage to secure a full price sale–and what's the likelihood of that?–they might squeak by with a sliverish profit once they fork over the fat real estate fees that by our unscientific estimation could easily run upwards of half a million smackers. And that's not counting the high renovation and day-core costs that surely ran well upwards of a million clams.

Property records show the Missus and Mister Osbourne's Hidden Hills estate encompasses 2.25 mostly manicured acres and includes a mansion that measures 10,930 square feet. Current listing information shows the multi-pronged pad contains 6 bedrooms and 6 full and 4 half bathrooms plus a guest/staff apartment with kitchenette. The Architectural Digest article states that after they purchased the property, Missus and Mister Osbourne embarked on a renovation that narrowed the bedroom count down to three in order to make way for an expanded master suite that now includes extensive walk-in wardrobes, two luxe bathrooms and a pair of private offices, a paneled one for him and another for her decorated with black and white Cecil Beaton fashion photographs.

The children will–or should–recognize Martyn Lawrence-Bullard as the English guy on Million Dollar Decorator. Mister Lawrence-Bullard, bless his fey heart, is prone to grandiose statements like, "Symmetry is purity and purity is delicious" and swans around and calls everyone "daaahhhhrling" in a vaguely not-British accent. We love him and his hammy ways. Mister Lawrence-Bullard's heavily-processed decorative fancies have appeared in every shelter magazine known to (wo)mankind and he's well-known in the design and day-core industry for his high wattage celebrity clientele who include (but are far from limited to) Elton John, Cher, Kid Rock, Daisy Fuentes, and soft-core porn purveyor Joe Francis. Whatever one may think of his theatrical eclecticism, when it comes to putting a room together famous folks will spend big bucks–and we mean BIG bucks–for the scruffy designer's signature dramatic (and sometimes melodramatic) decorative flourishes.

Mister Lawrence-Bullard thankfully thinned the truckloads of religious iconography that Missus and Mister Osbourne had stuffed into their Beverly Hills mansion, which featured prominently in the family's early- to mid-2000s ground-breaking reality program The Osbournes. He did not, however, restrain the decorative pomposity for which he's famous (and good at) and the result is a madcap and often enchanting mix and match of old-school English country house, Gothic glam and Shabby Chic farmhouse, all of which is washed over with a hefty twinge of Versailles. It's terribly nouveau, really, but it's so damn quirky and, despite its lustrous sheen of artificiality, so deeply personal that it works...for the Osbournes. Mister Lawrence-Bullard recognizes that the house belongs not to his flights of fancy but to the Osbourne and as such peppered the couple's casually ritzy residence with their many kooky collections that include antique tea sets, cow-shaped things and dolls.

A curving drive climbs up to a stone motor court at the front of the house that has more than a few barn-like architectural garnishments such as the gambrel roof line and silo-like form that marks the main entry. Even though Your Mama's Big Daddy' lives in a house that looks suspiciously like a converted barn–it was never actually a barn–we don't care for this particular vernacular. Iffin we wanted to live in a damn barn we'd be a horse.

Anyhoodles poodles, the mansion's decorative lasciviousness smacks a person across the face immediately upon entering the house through the the double-height circular foyer that features a towering two-story wall of windows and a floating staircase painted jet black that curls like a kitten around a gilt-edged table that Architectural Digest described as "19th-century French." Your Mama, on the other hand would describe the table in a far less educated manner, perhaps, as a gilt-accented antique table that probably cost more than our BMW.

The formal living room–all red, rose and pink–features a fireplace with, ahem, a gilded angel statuette in front of it, a bowed wall of French doors, crystal chandelier and a lot of over-scaled brocade and silk upholstered furniture. In the formal dining room–which, in truth, looks magical in the glossy pages of Architectural Digest but a little frumpy in listing photos–French doors on either side of a Directoire-style fireplace with carved stone chimney breast open the room to the cool ocean breezes that sometimes drift over the mountains. Light from (a-may-zingly decadent) crystal wall-mounted chandeliers and a 19th-century French chandelier that hangs over the Lawrence-Bullard-designed table and chairs reflects and multiplies off the silver-leafed ceiling and the walls covered in a Chinoiserie-style silver painted-silk wall treatment.

The more intimate areas of the house include an exquisitely paneled library with fireplace, built-in bookcases and a tufted sofa covered in midnight blue velvet. If Your Mama knows Mister Lawrence-Bullard–and we do not know Mister Lawrence-Bullard–it's probably yummy-yummy and atrociously expensive silk velvet. The cook-friendly eat-in country kitchen has a large work island/snack bar with distressed red stools, an adjoining breakfast nook wrapped in windows with expansive view, walk-in pantry and commercial-grade stainless steel appliances. The kitchen was not, it seems, designed with a cubby for the microwave since listing photos show one sitting on the counter next to the stove. Call us persnickety but for thirteen million bucks, hunnies, we want to the microwave to have a built-in place of its own.

A pair of sliding barn doors open the kitchen to the white-washed family room with vaulted ceiling with exposed beams and trusses, antique brick fireplace surround, reclaimed wide-plank wood floors and, because this is the Osbourne's crib and everything must drip with glam, a trio of glittering antique crystal chandeliers. Mister Osbourne, according to Architectural Digest, likes to paint in this room. A narrow staircase near the kitchen, lined with Mister Osbourne's many gold and platinum albums, descends to the lower level outfitted with a home theater and state-of-the-art recording and rehearsal studios.

The master suite–probably larger and certainly far more glitzy than Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's house, contains a sizable separate sitting room furnished with angels and velvet covered things and a large bedroom with vaulted ceiling, French doors that open to a private terrace, high gloss painted wood floors, and a fireplace flanked by a pair of stunning oval windows. We could do without the floral-printed balloon shades that look like the bottom of Marie Antoinette's dress, but the elliptical windows are, to use Mister Lawrence-Bullard's favorite word, fabulous. The master suite, as mentioned above, also includes his and her bathrooms, custom-fitted walk-in closets/dressing rooms and a pair of offices.

In classic southern California-style several terraces at the rear of the house extend the living space to the outdoors. A stone-walled covered patio with archways that frame the mountain views, has a soaring wood-beamed ceiling, outdoor fireplace and–for the always necessary glam factor–a chandelier. Adjacent to the infinity-edged swimming pool and spa–which includes a shallow kiddie pool too–a pergola shades a lounging/dining area with built-in barbecue center, terliting facility and outdoor shower.

We haven't heard a whisper from any of our sources inside the celebrity real estate game about where Missus and Mister Osbourne might next be headed but iffin we were the betting type–and we're not–we'd put all our chips on red 57 that they'll pack up their vintage tea set and doll collections and head on back to on of the high-toned zip codes in the Platinum Triangle: Beverly Hills, Bel Air and Holmby Hills. We shall see, buttons, we shall see.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty


Anonymous said...

While this house is not my style I love the execution and flawless flow (with the exception of the Formal Living Room).

They are living large in this fabulous lair! I love the space, and the overall glammy meets country theme. How perfect for this couple!

After my eyes got severly hurt from Barbara Davis brokedown apartment this is a much needed calm and fabulous way to read Mamma's blog.

I truly love the space for this couple. I know they are hunting for homes in the Platinum Triangle and even looked at their old house now made trashic by Christina. But they said NO NO

I am sure a beautiful space will come up for them to rehab soon in the 90210 or 90077 zip codes in Los Angeles

Jeannified said...

LOVE this house and the way it's been decorated! Nothing I would change about it! Good luck to them in finding a house better than this one. My style all the way! (If I could afford it!)

Anonymous said...

Since Sharon has been doing 'The Talk' she's been living at Sierra Towers. Mama maybe needs to check property records. Kelly used to own a condo years ago, not sure if it was at Sierra Towers but it was very very close to her parents house so S.Towers would seem the obvious choice. She didn't move into it if I remember correctly but perhaps they've always owned it & that's where Sharon's living at the moment?

So, she's at Sierra Towers which is on the same street as her old house which is currently on the market ... could they possibly be heading back to Doheny Rd? I wouldn't be surprised, she always claims Ozzy is a creature of habit.

Anonymous said...

Maybe they should start pay taxes instead of sell/buy another house.

Anonymous said...

Good for our economy...Osbournes, keep spending in the USA....

Jake said...

as much as i love mama, i have to disagree on the converted barns. i would looove to live in a barn like ina gartens

Anonymous said...

According to the piece in Vanity Fair, it seems that after Marvin died it was revealed that he had completely drained the family's resources and that they were "broke." Barbara told her daughter, Patty, that she (Patty) was poor now. Of course, Barbara's idea of poor may be slightly different than mine or yours. However, since she's been living in a two bedroom condo on a mid-level floor that I suspect from the pictures supplied was not given more than a new coat of "Decorator's White" after she purchased it, she must have been pretty broke, or at least had no access to certain moneys.

Steve Mawson said...

Whoo, another house where the outside space far surpasses the 'meh' inside spaces. Why such luscious over-heaped portions of praise for Mr Lawrence-Bullard, Mama ? It's very unusual for you and that house just doesn't seem to be your style. Seems like there's more there than meets the readers eye. Gotta crush ? Wanna dangle his decorating stick above your own canopy bed ? What would Mr Cooter say, or ... ;)

Anonymous said...

I am sure the Osbournes moved in and realized their many mistakes on this place..their homes lack any soul, and though they have done well in the real estate game up until now, the Osbournes are now going to learn the lesson every one else in the USA is... a four letter word ..LOSS. I dont know what is more annoying about Bullard..his hyphen, drama, or just his boring taste. Watch for Ozzy to move back to England and wifey at Sierra Towers..

Anonymous said...

you are absolutely right about them moving back to bel air/bev hills. I believe Sharon has another residence that she stays at when she films her talk show in the mornings, so it makes sense now that the show is successful and has been renewed for them to move away from the valley.

Anonymous said...

The Talk is recorded at CBS Studio Center, about 18 miles straight down the Ventura Freeway in Studio City. I'm puzzled that this morning commute would be their main reason for moving on, but who knows...

Anonymous said...

This house is ugly.
Their old house was much nicer.

Anonymous said...

loved the old house. Seriously, skulls, gargoyles, crosses yet it worked. Not the generic typical celeb home.

Anonymous said...

God bless 'em if they can get that price for it, considering we bought a house in the horsey community at around the same time and took a 28% hit, though we didn't put as much money into ours as they did! But alas, this is celebrity real estate!

Anonymous said...

Not a fan of Mr. Bullard. He says it's fabulous and you're looking at it and it just doesn't seem fabulous but he's saying it is so. . . Well you begin to think maybe it actually is fabulous.
The decor of this house has almost nothing to do with the architecture of the house or the setting, though it may relate to the personalities of the owners. Why they would choose this particular house if this is what they like on the interior side is beyond reason.
Just saw the episode of Million Dollar where Martin does up Daisy Fuentes' living room. Guarantee that in a year that stuff will be gone despite the fact that she claimed to love, love, love everything.

Anonymous said...

I am familiar with this house before the Big O's owned, and frankly, thought the style and taste was much more in keeping with the Architecture before the "re-do". No doubt this property has probably the best views in HH.

Seeing's as Lady Sharon has decorated it twice and has crews there for most of the time they lived there, I am guessing they will be taking a hit.

Doesn't matter. As long as people want to watch her and ponder him they will remain fast footed in the land of real estate.

Anonymous said...

I too am familiar with the house before Sharon Osborne re decorated it not once but twice in the four years she owned it. It was perfect before. Old wood, antique lighting, zinc counter tops. The Osborne's paid for it so I guess she can do what she wants with it. Taste is not born with money it is born in the soul. i am sure the neighborhood will not miss her trucks and constant workmen. Too bad whoever buys it will have to redo it once again. As the Architectural Digest article In real estate it is not a good idea to decrease the number of bedrooms. Whatever.

Viva! said...

The Osbournes live in Sierra Towers, they bought a condo in the building in the $2 million range about a year ago. They haven't lived in the Hidden Hills place for a long time, living among the Horsey Set never seemed like it would mesh with Sharon or Ozzy. The Daily Mail in the UK quoted Kelly as saying that the Sierra Towers place is the smallest her parents have ever lived in and yet they love it the most. It probably helps that friends like Elton John, Cher and Joan Collins call the place home too.

Hopefully they offload the place for near their asking and just forget about it.

Love Sharon, love Ozzy, may they rock on.