Monday, May 23, 2011

Is Sarah Palin High-Tailing it for the Lower 48?

BUYERS: Sarah and Todd Palin
LOCATION: Scottsdale, AZ
PRICE: $1,695,000
SIZE: 7,971 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Buckle your safety belts, butter beans, because the 2012 Republican presidential race is on. Misters Trump, Daniels and Huckabee are out out out and Newtie G., Mitt Romney, Ron Paul and Ricky Santorum are in in in. There are several others with a dark horse is the race–i.e. Ron Paul and Herman Cain–but what all the righty-tighties and social conservatives really want to know is if the Tea Party's de-facto Queen of Hearts Sarah Palin will soon throw her snow shoes into the political circus ring.

Given that it would be a logistical nightmare to run a presidential campaign from the great but remote state of Alaska, its been widely rumored for quite some time that the former governor–who famously quit her term half-way through in order to twitter like a demon and appear on her own reality program–might want a home base in the Lower 48 from where she can headquarter her as yet undeclared run for the presidency.

Last weekend a clue emerged in regards Miz Palin's potential presidential intentions; She and the Mister (allegedly) purchased dee-luxe desert digs in the far northern reaches of Scottsdale, AZ. We're not sure what exactly the Palin clan's interest in Arizona is–besides it being about 100 degrees warmer than Alaska in the winter–but around the 2010 Christmas holidays Missus and Mister Palin's eldest daughter–teen mother turned new-jawed abstinence advocate Bristol Palinlaid down $172,000 for a 3,929 square foot house in Maricopa, AZ, just south of Phoenix.

Property records show the 7,971 square foot Scottsdale mansion in question was acquired for $1,695,000 in cold hard cash through a Delaware-based entity called "Safari Investments." Missus Palin's people have yet to confirm that the newly-completed crib in Scottsdale was purchased by Missus and Mister Palin but circumstantial evidence mounts and reports of the couple's alleged purchase pile up.

The Phoenix, AZ attorney whose names appear on documents related to the property declined to comment but as it turns out Safari is the name of the Petersville, AK lake where Missus and Mister Palin own a couple of vacation cabins for which some reports indicate they've failed to pay adequate property taxes. A black mini-van with blacked out windows and Alaska plates was recently videotaped leaving and returning to the property and the driver also declined to comment and rather nicely asked the reporter(s) to vamoose.

Listing information for the walled and gated estate in an upscale enclave half-way between Scottsdale and Carefree shows it contains 5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms, a 6-car garage, a gas fireplace or two (or three) and an elevator shaft.

The vast and voluminous open plan main living area has double-height ceilings, stone floors, built-in entertainment center, carved stone fireplace jammed up into the corner, dining area with buffet niche and staircase and balcony with wrought iron railings. Just off the great room an oddly-shaped and window-wrapped gourmet kitchen has a sizable center island, high-grade appliances including double under-counter ovens, hickory-colored raised panel cabinetry and black granite counter tops.

Extensive additional living and entertainment areas located in the full basement include a wine cellar, home theater with tiered seating platforms and an all-but-windowless family room with built-in wet bar.

Four of the bedrooms are located on the main floor and each has a private facility. The sprawling master suite on the second level features an acre of wall-to-wall beige carpeting, a carved stone fireplace, a gigantic walk-in closet for all of Mister Palin's flannel shirts and Missus Palin's perfectly-tailored power suits and a trellis-covered terrace with outdoor fireplace. The large voyeur-friendly pooper features a jetted tub for two separated from a multi-headed walk-in shower by a large window that makes it convenient for anyone in the shower to watch anyone in the bathtub and vice-versa.

The flat saguaro-dotted backyard has a number of loggias, unnaturally green grass patches and terraces that surround the rectangular swimming pool and nearby spa. An open-air cabana with fireplace provides a shady respite from the sizzling and scorching desert sun.

Your Mama wonders if Senator John McCain and his wife Cindy will bring out the Arizona welcome wagon for Missus and Mister Palin or if they'll leave that job to some of the state's other conservative honchos like Governor Jan Brewer and/or Maricopa County's tough-talking sheriff Joe Arpaio.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage via Hot Pads


midTN said...


Buy anything, anywhere you want.

Nobody foisted her on anybody.

...p.s...(I don't like the house).


JoyfulAliveWman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lil' gay boy said...

This particular "MacManse" is as vapid & barren as the so-called soul she sold to the devil for her chance to dance with Daddy Bones and for one shot at deluding herself that she could somehow be relevant.

If Satan wouldn't have her, why should we have to be saddled with the dessicated remains?

Guess the contract didn't stick; legend has always said they must be signed in blood, but she who will not be named has nothing but ice water in hers (with a little light, sweet crude thrown in for body).

micanichi said...

The lower forty-eight just got a little trashier.

Anonymous said...

says the bitter lil miss trailer park trash

Richard in Tucson said...

Southern Arizona is looking at seceding from the north. With this news maybe we have a chance! I have been worried this would happen for months. She has spent too much time here. WE DON'T WANT HER!!

Anonymous said...

As vacant and empty as her head.

Miss Jolene said...

This quote just in from Ms Palin via her PR squad at HuffPost: "Lands sake, I can see Mexico from here,"

Unknown said...

This is good. All the crazies are slowly flocking to Arizona where they can mingle with their own kind.

Anonymous said...

Get over it, guys and gals. I don't like Ms. Palin any better than most of you do, but she can darn well buy and live anywhere wants if she has the money, and she definitely does.

Personally I think HOT and dry Arizona is a great place for her. Just think about her trying to adapt from living in AK to living in AZ. As far as the house is concerned, to me it looks much like most of the houses in AZ only larger.

Joey Brill said...

Fer Cripe's Sake, ya could slip and fall on yer keister on those stone floors. That entry doesn't even have a place to park yer shoes! Pantyhosed feet on the floor will be cooling, though.

And what are ya supposed to hang over that fireplace? Wolf head requires balance, ya know?

Now, not to be a spoil sport, but I do see a drywall seam in the bedroom. I'm sure Tod could get some of his buds to clean that up, but for that much money it should come with the house.

Anonymous said...

1. They're still building new construction in AZ? And 2 stories, especially the double height living room, is foolish in the desert.

2. A van with Alaska plates in AZ...? Long drive.

3. Palin isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she knows how to get her hustle on. Hopefully she'll be satisfied on the very lucrative speaker, pundit, reality TV circuit and leave actual policy & law making to others. Somehow I doubt we'll be so lucky.

Lady J

Anonymous said...

It's just amazing what you can find looking around on the internet. Took me five minutes to find this. Here's the real deal on this home.{scid=hdp-site-map-bubble-address}

I guess it's just me, but I think the whole place is ugly.

Anonymous said...

I have no doubt that al-Qaeda would love to see her at the helm in Washington. A giant step along the way in their goal of destroying the USA. If you can't kill your enemy immediately, driving him crazy is an excellent substitute.

Gladys Kravitz said...

Well Abner, there goes the neighborhood!

Anonymous said...

It figures, that given all the high-quality, drop-dead gorgeous desert contemporaries, tuscan villas and authentic southwestern-style compounds available in spades in North Scottsdale for the last few years, that dumb ol' Sarah would manage to pick the ulgiest, most architecturally void, and most low-quality looking piece of real estate available in the town...poor Arizona, such beautiful weather and scenery, too bad so many of the residents are bat-shit cuckoo...well, except around Tucson...let's hope the Democratic-leaning blue staters in southern Arizona get their wish and someday secede from their crazy bumpking Republican cousins to the North in Phoenix, because Tucson is really a beautiful place filled with good people that doesn't deserve the tarnishing it gets from having to be associated with the rest of Arizona...

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Miz Sarah has developed some humility and is actually going to run for McCain's seat or John Kyle's instead of shooting for president. Naaaaah.

Phoenix and surroundings routinely gets up to 110+ in summer. Cooling this monster to something that will keep an Alaskan comfortable will create quite the carbon footprint. Not that she'd care.

Anonymous said...

Good for Sarah and Todd!

This is what makes America great! You can become successful if you work hard at it.

The haters on here are just jealous that they can't buy a gorgeous home like this.

Anonymous said...

So, the person who writes this blog is a liberal Sarah Palin hater who reads the Sarah Palin hating web sites? hmmmm.... I guess the rats all congregate together.... in this case, all these people figure out they can make a lot of money off the Palin name, so away they go. Leeches. Rats. Big smelly Rats.

Anonymous said...

Now, now anon. 8:11 PM. There are plenty of conservatives who Palin makes apoplectic (Karl Rove comes to mind). Get off your haterade drip, for your own good. No one's making more off the Palin name than Sarah herself.

Lady J

lil' gay boy said...

Riddle me this: if the so-call brain of the family, Bristol, can precede her mama to the sandy state (or was perhaps tracked down by Sarah's hounds), then why does she still look like a Palin?

That close to Mexico & I would have gone for a totally different look; overbite, my ass. Next up on FOX: When Family Members Stalk You: The Warning Signs & What to Do

Anonymous said...

Classless, Tacky, Wanna be Ego House just like their owners... Architecture is a lack of an educated eye... again just like the new owners. But dayaum ... you can see Mexico from this house!

Anonymous said...

Looks like Bin Laden's hideout with that compound, high wall, and tall center building.

All she needs is a few goats on the lawn and a few helicopters landing in the middle of the night!

Anonymous said...

It appears that this property has some short sale fraud going on.

Anonymous said...

"Saraha Palin's Arizona TV Special will air in late October 2011. She can see Mexico from her house!!!

Anonymous said...

Here you go. Here's a video of the inside of Sarah Palin's new Scottsdale home. It was made by a guy who just walked in and filmed the home as it was being built. Interesting floor plan. Kitchen is HUGE.