Friday, April 8, 2011

Troubled Tatum O'Neal Lists Downtown Crib

SELLER: Tatum O'Neal
PRICE: $1,495,000
SIZE: 1,435 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is just back from Joshua Tree with our boozy b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau in tow but before we cozy in for an afternoon lay down–this was a ree-donk-ulously energy sapping week and we are plum tuckered out–we thought we'd offer up a wee morsel of celebrity real estate information in the form of a downtown New York City condo owned by troubled actress Tatum O'Neal.

Miz O'Neal is, of course, the daughter of the increasingly wacky Ryan O'Neal actor fella and in 1974, at the tender age of 10, Miz O'Neal became the youngest person to ever win an Academy Award for her performance in Paper Moon. She went on to star in several notable films including The Bad News Bears and the hotsy-totsy and kinda pervy coming of age chick-flick Little Darlings, a cinematic gem about a couple of teenage girls at summer camp who make a bet about who can lose their virginity first. Can the children imagine the outrage of religious folks and right wing groups nowadays if someone tried to make a mainstream movie about teenaged girls–girls!– who are desperate to be deflowered by any guy who will pluck their bud?

Anyhoo, in the mid-1980s Miz O'Neal hitched her wagon to that of tennis titan John McEnroe. By 1992 the marriage had swirled down the terlit of romantic love and Miz O'Neal fell into an ugly relationship with heroin. She cleaned herself up at some point and in 2004 she wrote brutal slash and burn book called A Paper Life that made her famous father look like a drug-fueled sex fiend who had sex with an 18-year old Melanie Griffith.

In 2006 Miz O'Neal appeared on Dancing With the Stars, which briefly revived her career in the business of show. But alas, in 2008 Miz O'Neal succumbed to her demons and was arrested near her apartment–the very one she now has for sale–with a bag of coke, another bag of crack and an unused stem. Since then and although her career seems on an upswing with a long-running role on tee-vee show Rescue Me and a couple of films in the hoppe,r Miz O'Neal and her father Ryan have opted to film a reality show in the works–to air on the Oprah Winfrey Network–that will focus on their reconciliation and complicated relationship. Iffin we had to wager, we'd bet this whole reality show thing will go down in a blaze of embarrassment because, let's be honest children, the once devastatingly handsome Daddy O'Neal has gone a little bat shit, you know? But enough about Miz O'Neal's topsy-turvy personal life...

Property records show the Miz O'Neal acquired her mezzanine level condo in September of 2006. At $1,425,550 she paid only slightly more for the 1,435 square foot apartment than the $1,495,000 at which it is currently listed. The 2 bedroom and 2 pooper apartment is located in what's known as the Forward Building because at one time it housed the offices of The Jewish Daily Forward, the largest Yiddish-language paper of it's time.

The floor plan shows a proper and good-sized foyer with direct elevator access and an open plan living/dining and kitchen that stretches 28 feet front to back and has built in cabinetry and bookshelves on two walls but it is the shallow-domed ceiling with intricate plaster detailing that is the star of this architectural show.

A service entry just off the kitchen–a fancy Poliform number with high-grade appliances–has a stacked washer/dryer and each of the two bedrooms that flank the living room have walk-in closets/dressing rooms.

Miz O'Neal's unit comes with monthly fees of $2,7o6 according to listing information, which covers taxes and building services that include a 24-hour doorman, rooftop terrace and refrigerated storage in the lobby for temperature sensitive deliveries such as ice cream, flowers and meat.

What Miz O'Neal's real estate plans are next we don't know but we do know that in addition to her mezzanine level condo she also owns two separate storage units in the building. We also know that February of 2007 she sold her country house on 13+ acres outside of Ghent in upstate New York for $650,000 to none other than indie-film queen Parker Posey and, prior to that, in October of 2005 she sold a third floor loft-condo for $2,100,000 to off-Broadway theater director Trip Cullman, the New York-born son of a man who made a fortune in the cigar trade.

listing photos and floor plan: Corcoran


Anonymous said...

Any idea what the 13+ acres outside of Ghent in upstate New York interiors looks like? I wouldn't normally care about anything Miz O'Neal has or does, but if Parker Posey bought it, well, she seems like someone who would have interesting taste in real estate.

Anonymous said...

I think you mean "paid only slightly less" Mama, not "more".
I would find having to go out through the Great Room to tinkle at night from the guest bedroom a bit of a bummer.

Anonymous said...

" . . . go down in a blaze of embarrassment . . ."

Wonderful line. I hope you are proven correct, Mama, but is there any embarrassment anymore with these "reality" folk? Embarrassment used to be a handy check on social behaviors but now seems to be a bygone thing.

Reality tv, what an astounding waste of brain cells.

Anonymous said...

It's a pretty interior, nice natural light, but the floor layout does seem a bit awkward.

Hot Chocolate said...

very bad pooper placement

luke220 said...

I think I'd get claustrophobic looking out that living room window. Obviously the space used to be the main entrance ceiling and they closed off the mezzanine in order to make this unit.

PebbleBeach said...

Works for me. Seems priced right compared to other 2 bedroom/2 bath apts in NYC. I'm sure someone will snatch it up quick.

Babe Parish said...

I love that ceiling almost as much as I love Miss Tatum. <3

StPaulSnowman said...

Any white grand piano should have an obligatory fake leopard coat draped over it...............and a FiTram spread out beneath it.

Gary Glitterpuss said...

Tayyyytum, hell no! This place is rafter-living-luxe!

It's the kind of ceiling-esque boudoir my favorite cleaning girl, Lafawnda, would purchase should she be so lucky to win the Lottery.

(Which she won't be winning because I needs Miz Lafawnda to pull my corset strings like only she can)

Anonymous said...

Also - anonymous from 4/8: I don't think it is on 13 acres. The tax roles indicate 5, and I think I remember the real estate ad as saying 5 as well. Perhaps Parker or Tatum sold off additional land.