Friday, February 18, 2011

David Krumholtz Is Flipping Out in Laurel Canyon

SELLER: David Krumholtz and Vanessa Britting
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,175,000
SIZE: 4,169 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.75 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Starting with The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial, a number of thoughtful folks have alerted Your Mama this week to a house in the Laurel Canyon area of Los Angeles owned by actor David Krumholtz and on the block with an asking price of $2,175,000.

Although not a household name or a tabloid fixture, thirty something year old Mister Krumholtz has been floating around Tinseltown for quite some time. After a number of false starts in the early- and mid-1990s on television programs and movies Your Mama has never seen nor heard of, he finally got his big break in 1997 when he appeared as a teenage Lothario in the film The Ice Storm. More recently, Mister Krumholtz was seen in a 13-episode season of the erstwhile The Trouble With Normal and a short arc on hospital drama ER. On the silver screen his most notable (and recurring) roles have been in the Harold & Kumar... and the Santa Clause... film franchises. In 2005 Mister Krumholtz's professional ship finally pulled in with his most recent gig as a crime solving mathematical wizard on Numb3rs.

It was only in February of 2010 that Mister Krumholtz paid $2,025,000 for his Laurel Canyon crib. The very next month Numb3rs was canceled leaving him, essentially, without a job and in May 2010 Mister Krumholtz married his long-time lady-friend Vanessa Britting, an ack-tress whose resume includes a couple of short films (Paperboy, Big Breaks) and a few spins across the small screen on the cop-drama Without a Trace and the soap story The Young and the Restless.

Reality television watching children may find it interesting to know that Mister Krumholtz purchased this house from young gun real estate agent Josh Altman, the toothy and suit-wearing new guy featured on the current season of Million Dollar Listing. Josh Altman, according to records, owned the property with his brother Matt, also a real estate agent in Los Angeles.

The Altman Brothers, according to property records, acquired the house in June of 2007 for $2,200,000. A bit more than a year later the real estate agent brothers flipped the property back on the market. After property was de-listed and re-listed three or four times it eventually sold to Mister Krumholtz in February of 2010 for $2,025,000. That's right kids, it took these two real estate agents 2.5 years to sell a damn a loss. A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads of Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows the Altman Brothers not only had a devil of a time selling the house but they took a not inconsiderable $175,000 whack to their pocketbooks. They are clearly successful in their chosen field, or at least they appear to be quite successful. However, The Altman Brothers' attempt to flip this house was not, obviously, one of their finer real estate moments.

Anyhoodles poodles, as fassinatin' as that all is, we digress. Cleary Mister and Missus Krumholtz caught a case of The Real Estate Fickle because just one year after buying they flipped the house back on the market with an asking price ($2,175,000) just slightly higher than records show they paid ($2,025,000).

Listing information for the ocher-colored sort-of-Spanish/kind-of-Moroccan-style residence indicates it was erected in 1985 and is known as El CastilloThe Castle–presumably because of the crenelated detailing that runs around the residence's upper level terraces. Listing information also shows the house measures 4,169 square feet and contains 4 bedrooms and 3.75 bathrooms including two complete master suites each with sizable facilities done up with double vanity and a myriad of custom tile work, faux-finish paint treatments and stenciled detailing.

A carved wood and wrought iron gate opens from the driveway to a grassy courtyard where a curvy-swervy staircase that really does not need to be swervy-curvy climbs to the wood and wrought iron front door. The home has a surprisingly and sort of bizarrely large foyer/stair hall/sitting room that features hardwood floors, beamed ceiling and a built in seating cubby perfect for cozying up with a good book, a stack of gossip glossies and a pitcher of ice-cold gin & tonics.

Up a second flight of stairs the main living spaces include a double height living room with arched windows and dynamite carved wood ceiling. The adjacent formal dining room has a distinct ecclesiastical vibe due to a long row of Gothic arched windows and chunky wood dining table and chairs that look like something straight out of a monastery or nunnery.

The parochial architecture and day-core in the dining room continues into the kitchen, outfitted with an over-sized farmhouse sink, Viking range, stenciled hardwood floors and dark brown carved cabinetry that look to Your Mama much like what we imagine a Catholic confessional to look like. A nearby family room with corner fireplace and hardwood floors has a pair of wood-framed glass doors that lead to an outdoor terrace with the aforementioned crenelated detailing.

Another flight of stairs–Your Mama can feel our heart pounding and glutes burning just thinking about climbing another damn flight of stairs in this house–ascends to the bedrooms on the upper-most level. Those of the children who, like Your Mama, don't care to break a sweat when walking from the front door to our bedroom will be thrilled to learn that the house is equipped with an industrial strength elevator.

While there's not much in the way of a real backyard with grass and a swimming pool, the house is far from short on appealing outdoor lounging and entertaining areas. Clay tile terraces and patios surround the house and include a large terrace at the front of the house with extensive built-in seating, a fire pit and pretty if not spectacular tree-top views.

Listing information indicates that Mister Krumholtz and Miz Bitting are willing to lease the property–for how much we don't know–and they're also open to selling some of the furniture that was custom-designed for the house.

Previous to buying his house in the Hollywood Hills, Mister Krumholtz owned a home in the Larchmont Village area that he put on the market in the spring of 2010 for $1,499,000 and sold in July 2010 for $1,325,000. If we dig a little deeper down into the property records they shows that Mister Krumholtz paid $1,715,000 for the 3 bedroom and 3 bathroom house. A few little more clicking and clacking on our bejeweled abacus shows that Mister Krumholtz took a financial bath on the property to the tune of $490,000. Eichee-wow-wow.

At its current asking price of $2,175,000 and after the real estate fees are paid Mister (and Missus) Krumholtz will be lucky to clear fifty grand on this real estate mistake even if their agent manages to pull a real estate rabbit out of a hat and secure a full price sale. But let's be honest, Chicken Littles, while not as dire as a year ago, the real estate markets still walk with crutches and a full price sale–while entirely possible–seems unlikely. That means poor Mister Krumholtz just might be looking at another kablam and kablooey to his bank accounts.

listing photos: Rodeo Realty


Anonymous said...

We are the knights who say NI!

Carla Ridge said...

My only comment on the decor: "No one EVER expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

LOL. Have a grrrrreat long week-end, Mama!

angie said...

omg.. what to do with 4,000+ sqft of tacky faux Medieval-ness . Normally, I enjoy imagining what I'd do to turn an ugly duckling into a stunning swan, but I'm drawing a blank today. Not a good sign.

StPaulSnowman said...

Please!............cover it with a giant shrubbbberrrry!

lil' gay boy said...

Carla, my dear, you are too, too funny! And way too kind. No wonder they are now the knights who say "...icky, icky nu wom..." Emphasis on the icky.

I was going to say that I didn't know the Altman Brothers (sic) had gotten the band back together again, let alone with this non-hit.

Ghastly; just viewing the listing photos makes me feel like I'm trapped on line at Disney's latest theme ride ––– "ConquistadorWorld®" ––– where you too can pretend to be Torquemada & torture the heathens! One can practically hear It's A Small, Small World playing on an endless loop.

But I do see it is just a hop, skip, & a jump up the block to Randolph Duke's XTEN Architecture-designed former residence.

Rather a good thing "El Castillo" is shoehorned into the hillside as it is; a larger parking pad and it could be mistaken for the nearest Taco Bell.

Fancy Nancy said...

Hey Carla, are you THE Carla Ridge of Trousdale??

Jeannified said...

Love this house, even though it is a bit much. Love the feel of it...the warmth.

The only thing that would really concern me is the glass around the shower end of the slip on that porcelain and you'd be done for!

Wish I had the clams.

Anonymous said...

If this house is on North Curson I am quite certain I know the people who sold it in 2007. It was snapped up very rapidly even as the housing market was turning down. The owners grew old and arthritic and couldn't manage all the stairs. But if it is the house I think, they bought in in the late 1950s or early 1960s. It is certainly older than 1985, although it may have been updated then.

Carla Ridge said...

Lil Gay Boy, I have three words for you: Ni, Ping and Neeeeeee-wohm! We gotta also give points to Anonymous #1 for mining the very same meme the minute I did, LOL, and St Paul Snowman for playing along so tunefully!

PS to Miss Fancy Nancy:It's no coincidence, LOL.

Anonymous said...

These L.A. real estate agents are so full of sh*t.
They claim they are successful but that is a lie.
Out of the 4 of them, only 3 own houses and the Altman guy's house is crap and who knows if he owns that.
Madison's BMW is about 2 generations old now and he needs to wash it.

Anonymous said...

Seriously. I hate this house. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

This place has theme party potential! I'm imagining bad friars & naughty nuns playing strip poker at that candlelit table. Too bad it doesn't have a dungeon.

Mama - it's been a LONG time since I've seen the inside of a confessional but I think you're right about the kitchen.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a bunch of La Quinta motels fell from the sky on top of each other - horrid. Gothic arches, round arches, some other arched detail on kitchen upper cabinets - what a mess. Bet the living room ceiling beams are styrofoam...

Aunt Gina said...

Zorro slept here.

lil' gay boy said...

Brevity is the soul of wit, Auntie...

Pricexwnp said...
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