Monday, December 27, 2010

A Little Mish Mash for Mundee

Oh dear. It seems there's another marriage that's done swirled down the Tinseltown terlit of love. This time it's Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus, the parents of Disney's pole dancing and salvia smoking cash cow Miley Cyrus.

As all the children know, a dee-vorce often means the family homestead gets sold and rumors have started to circulate that Mister and soon to be ex-Missus Cyrus plan to sell their mansion in the star studded Los Angeles, CA enclave of Toluca Lake.

The Cyrus clan bought their 8,300 square foot mock-Tuscan mansion brand spanking new in 2007 for $5,838,000 and the gossip juggernaut TMZ says they'll probably ask "for more than $7 million." TMZ also reported that soon to be ex-Missus Cyrus has already been out hunting for a new house and allegedly had a look-see at a $4,600,000 crib in Encino three months ago.

In April of 2009 a very teen aged Miss Miley dropped a very grown up $3,400,000 for a sprawling Spanish style hacienda of her very own that happens to be just around the corner from her parents' pad. Will Miss Miley stay put? Or will she move on to Encino or some other suburban locale in Los Angeles to be near her momager?

The upscale Toluca Lake community claims a plethora of celeb residents including actor Eric McCormack (Will & Grace), Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry, not particularly funny comedian George Lopez, former Baywatch babe Brook Burns, actor James Marsden, one of Puff Daddy's several baby mommas, Beverly Hills 90210 alum Jason Priestley, Beverly Hills 90210 alum Jennie Garth and her man-mate Peter Facinelli (Nurse Jackie) who listed their huge house in June of 2010 for $5,995,000, and comedy's reigning king Steve Carell who has long lived in the 'hood, recently shelled out $6,000,000 to buy the old Jonathan Winters house around the corner from his current residence, and quickly tore it down to make way for his own Barbie Dreamhouse.

In early 2010 superstar singer/dancer/whatever Jennifer Lopez and her cantinero huzband Marc Anthony purchased a massive 17,129 square foot mansion in the hot as Hades Hidden Hills community in suburban Los Angeles, CA. The 3-acre estate, last listed for just under ten million smackers, has 9 bedrooms and 12 poopers divided up between the main house and the guest house.

The couple hired celebrity decorator Michelle Workman to work over the interiors of the 2-story country ranch style mansion and recent pictures of the house, photographed for the January/February 2011 issue of Veranda magazine, show a glam 1940s thing all done in a very restrained and sophisticated palette of white, creams, greys and black lacquer.

Miz Lopez, who also owns a 10,000+ square foot traditional mansion on Long Island in Glen Head, NY, has come a long damn ways from the the block in the Bronx where she was raised up hasn't she children?

Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich owns scads of high priced and high maintenance homes around the world including a luxury flat at the Bridges Wharf conveniently located near the Battersea heliport, the 420-acre Fyning Hill estate in West Sussex, a villa in the South of France, a house in Tuscany, another in Montenegro, a posh pad in Moscow and a hillside compound in swank St. Barts that he bought last year for a mind altering $90,000,000 (or thereabouts).

Starting in the late 1990s Mister Abramovich started buying up flats in two adjacent London townhouses on Lowndes Square near Harrods and Harvey Nicks that had been split into 9 luxe apartments. By 2008 Mister Abramovich had managed to acquire all nine apartments at a reported cost of between fifteen and twenty million pounds.

The plan is to combine all nine units in the two townhouses into one 30,000-ish square foot mega mansion with five floors above street level and another three below. Submitted plans for the main house show 8 bedrooms each with private pooper, numerous sitting/drawing/living rooms, a cinema/media room, kitchen complex, and a swimming pool, sauna and spa in the the basement. Staff will be accommodated above the garage in the mews building at the rear of the property.

Recent reports suggest that when completed, Mister Abramovich's house will be worth somewhere in the neighborhood of £150,000,000. According to Your Mama's currency conversion contraption shows that's a knee bucking 231,498,000 in American dollars at today's rates.

All the East End gossip rags are all a-go-go about Jersey Shore stars Jenni "JWOWW" Farley and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi house hunting on Long Island. That's right puppies, most of those too tan party hounds on that horrific but very popular Jersey Shore program aren't even from New Jersey. We're not sure why the producers weren't able to find enough liquor swilling guidos and guidettes in Jersey to cast the show, but that's another issue for another blog.

Anyhoo, according to the gals at Real LI, the boozy babes wanted to have a looks at a 5 bedroom and 3 pooper "postmodern Colonial" in East Setauket, NY with a 44-foot long salt water swimming pool. The listing agent for the property told Real LI that the gals requested to bring television cameras to the showing–the owner nixed that–which makes Your Mama think this whole house hunting thing is related to the Jersey Shore show or possibly some kind of spin off with Snooks and WOW as the stars.

Subsequent to the reports Miss JWOWW tweeted or twated or whatever it's called and denied the house hunting rumors. Make of that what y'all will.

Gawd. Who cares, right?

All you little boys out there who desire to don a dress and slap on a pair of high heels shouldn't let anyone tell you that cross-dressing won't get you anywhere because superstar drag queen/author/reality television hostess/MAC cosmetics spokesperson RuPaul is a damn millionaire. Werq!

According to The Real Deal and Streeteasy RuPaul paid $1,095,000 for a 1,490 square foot apartment in New York City's far West Village way back in 1998 and sold the 13th floor pad in mid-December 2010 for $2,400,000. A few quick flicks of the well worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that even after the fat real estate fees were paid lucky Ru likely took in more than a million clams on her real estate investment.

RuPaul's apartment, which appear to never have been on the open market, was sold to an LLC under the name of Jerry Gorovy. Mister Gorovy, who looks a little too much like Jesus for Your Mama's comfort, is the longtime pal and assistant of the late and great French sculptor Louise Bourgeois.


Miss Lady said...

That was a BROKER LESS transaction on the RuPaul pad. Damn. that girl certainly WORKED it!!! Good for her.

Madam Pince said...

That Lopez woman cannot stay out of the spotlight for anything, can she? Bitch always flashes her goods -- meaning her property, not her bits. Although I expect she'll one day bare those in an effort to keep the klieg lights on herself.

If I'd had more than a couple of bourbon & ginger ales when Jerry Gorovoy walked in the room, I'd think the Second Coming had arrived.

I love Miss RuPaul and am not surprised at her real estate savvy. She deserves all good things.

Bb88 said...

Russian dude needs a damn elevator in that mansion. Who wants to climb up more than 6 flights to the guest bedrooms? They'll be dead by the time they get up there.

Anonymous said...

Mazel tov (good fortune) to RuPaul Charles, who through shver arbit (hard work) deserves all of her hard-earned fame.

In 1993, after stepping off of the portico of the Daughters of the American Revolution National Headquarters, a magnificent piece of real estate, go figure, I marched on Washington DC with my queer Jewish contingent, and waited throughout the afternoon to see RuPaul live on the outdoor stage. As always, RuPaul was electrifying, reactionary, fabulous, and funny, without being bitter or mean.

RuPaul, you've obtained success as an African-American queer person through pain and sechel (innate brilliance), in a society that would just as soon beat you down. Yasher koach (strength to you)!

Rabbi Hedda LaTess

micanichi said...

The only person that saved this entire post from the Christmas trash heap is no less than RuPaul (who has more class than the rest of them put together).

:) avg joe said...

I was talking about Roman Abramovich years ago, maybe mama can do a large pictorial of all of his estates he owns ?


Anonymous said...

Abramovitch does not own Fyning Hill anymore. He gave it to his long-time wife when they divorced as part of her settlement.

Anonymous said...

I love those little highlighted words that take us to other websites, like the one for JLo’s decorator. Someone should have touched on that before they let her run wild with the Lopez fortunes. Whatever you do, don’t ‘click’ on the Mid-City Craftsman, under Residential. My eyes! My eyes!

Luciane at said...


I've found some other pictures of the house (outdoors). Come take a look and let me know what you think.


Luciane at

Anonymous said...

Reg the Lopez house, it's not only the inside that is white....every single brick on the outside has been painted white, way too much white in my taste.