Thursday, November 4, 2010

Mid-Week Mish-Mash Part Deux

Young and telegenic real estate agents Madison Hildebrand and Chad Rogers from Million Dollar Listing better watch their pretty back because there's a new real estate reality show coming to Tinseltown. According to the Hollywood Reporter (via Curbed) the peeps at HGTV plan to spin off their successful Selling New York program and bring it to Los Angeles where it will be called, natch, Selling Los Angeles.

Like with the New York City version, the program will highlight the promotion of property listed and sold by three as yet unnamed boo-teek real estate agencies. Anyone what to clue Your Mama in on which agents and brokers are trying to get themselves up on the tee-vee?

Not having had much luck selling her College Grove, TN farm the regular way, Grammy winning singer/songwriter Sheryl Crow opted to put her 150-ish acre spread up for auction with a current minimum bid price of $1,000,000. There's even a website and everything.

The bidding process for Miz Crow's Cross Creek Farm has already started and ends at 6pm on November 23rd, 2010.

Your Mama dissed and discussed Miz Crow's farm and its 10,264 square foot mansion in May of 2010 when it was officially listed with a sticker price of $7,500,000.

According to the delightful Chloe Malle at the New York Observer, some wildly wealthy person has snatched up two adjacent condos at the Time Warner Center listed for a mouth-drying combined asking price of $57,500,000. The buyer of both apartments, a sprawling simplex and a slightly smaller doo-plex, was reported to be "an unnamed Russian tycoon" whose intent is probably to use the palatial pad as pied a terre.

It just goes to prove if you've got a billion bucks and you lose half of it, you're still filthy, stinking rich and have the financial wherewithal to lay our blood curdling sums of money for homes likely to only get used, at most, a few months of the year.

The smaller doo-plex, on the 74th and 75th floors, measures approximately 3,500 square feet and features 3 bedrooms, 5.5 poopers, a 40-some foot long living/dining room with unobstructed city views and a private elevator to lift all the people too damn lazy to climb one lousy flight of stairs. The apartment was last listed at $18,450,000 and reportedly went to contract for $15,700,000.

The larger, 75th floor simplex sprawler was last listed with a eyeball popping price tag of $34,950,000. If the children do the math as Your Mama did, you'll see that for some reason there was a $4,000,000 premium placed on purchasing the units together. We're not sure why someone would even consider paying four million clams more to acquire the condos together when they could simply do two separate deals and save themselves a considerable amount of money, millions actually.

Anyhoo, the 4,454 square foot apartment is being sold by "fortune telling phony" Steven Feder who made much of his money on the famous and infamous Miss Cleo pay-per-call psychic service where sad and lonely people paid big bucks to have some sassy ladee with a bad Jamaican accent offer wisdom and guidance over the telephone.

Mister Feder and his man-friend Lou Thomas Trosclair purchased the 5 bedroom and 6.5 pooper combined unit residence in January of 2008 for $24,480,000. The glassy aerie has a 40-some foot long living/dining room, a separate family room, a dee-luxe but windowless eat-in kitchen plus a second smaller kitchen at the rear of the apartment, and a master bedroom with his and his terliting facilities and a closet lined dressing area plus a walk-in closet.

The two apartments together measure a whopping 8,000-ish square feet and, according to Streeteasy, the combined common charges and taxes run an astounding $26,233 per month.. Unless a radical re-working of the floor plan occurs, by Your Mama's count there are a total of 8 bedrooms, 11 full and 2 half poopers, 3 kitchens, and a couple dozen closets.

This isn't the first time at the Time Warner Center Real Estate Rodeo for Misters Feder and Trosclair. In September of 2006, the two gays shelled out $9,750,000 to buy a 3,050 square foot apartment on the 65th floor of the south tower. They bought the condo from Puerto Rican pop star Ricky Martin who also happens to be gay but we doubt that was a factor in anything.

Now children, sit down because Your Mama is going to blow your real estate mind here: Misters Feder and Trosclair flipped the apartment just one year later. They sold to a neighbor for–are your ready for this?–$15,850,000. A few quick flicks of the well worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus reveals that's a heart stopping and almost unimaginable $6,100,000 profit in just one year of ownership.

Remember those real estate salad days folks? They seem so far back in the rear view mirror now, don't they?


Madam Pince said...

Is this delightful Chloe Malle the only child of Louis Malle & Candice Bergen? If so, it's refreshing to see her plying a trade and not acting the fool (although I suspect Candice would NOT allow that).

Anonymous said...

they interviewed about 50 agents from larchmont to malibu... time will tell.. looks like they are looking for the suit and tie variety.. ( not many in these parts.. with those parts... )

Anonymous said...

Re: Mama's inquiry in #4 -

Let's ask also WHAT those real estate brokers are doing to get on TV?

And maybe WHOM, too . . . .

Inquiring minds wanna know.

Anonymous said...

Todd Bernstein was supposedly trying to sign up some listings from my neighborhood in Woodland Hills for a new reality show. I don't know if he was able to convince our association (we're guard-gated).
Love you Mama! Your writing is fantastic!

Anonymous said...

The article linked here is a rundown of some of the folks in Time Warner. Note David Martinez, who lives in close proximity to the apartments discussed by Mama. Also plays for the same team as the others. . .
Quite a few in this building, but certainly nowhere near the level of, say, Chelsea Merchantile. However, at TM they are all very, very rich.

Anonymous said...

Gee I would think they would ask you Mama to be on this show... you are the perfect candidate to me anyway.

NashVegas housewife of Davidson Co. said...

Auction in the south isn't as shameful as most think Mama.
*guitar strum, song begins*
The bibbed overall wearing farmer in the areas are sometimes loaded they just choose not to show it. Some tend to think your not gettin a good deal unless you bought it at auction. I believe auctions are the eleventh commandment in southern living. Them country folk are backwards but the wife is always able to drag the husband to auction, especially if livestock is involved. The little misses can get a hankering for the house and so the farmer man writes a check cause hes been working since the day he meet her to make her happy.
*a tear, twang, end song*

Anonymous said...

Mama, I have a stylist queen friend who was recently on the set of Million Dollar Listing while they were filming and he wispered in my ear that Chad Rogers has been let go. They hired another agent, a straighty who is also named Josh... not to be confused with the Josh who is already on the show.