Thursday, August 19, 2010

Another Day, Another Dee-vorce, Another Mansion on the Market

SELLERS: Eric and DeShawn Snow
LOCATION: Alpharetta, GA
PRICE: $4,998,000
SIZE: 10,317 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 6 full and 6 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: When peeps with high profiles head to the court of dee-vorce it's not the least bit unusual that one or another or all of their ritzy residences get hoisted on to the market. Sometimes the property sales are to satisfy the settlement decree but often is just because they're rich enough that they can sell their marital house of horrors and start anew in a new house not infested with ugly memories.

Today's tale of celebrity dee-vorce and real estate woe involves former reality television star DeShawn Snow and her retired professional athlete huzband Eric Snow. The proverbial shit first hit the tabloid fan in the early spring of 2010 when Mister Snow filed papers with the court of dee-vorce amid rumors and reports that he put a baby in the belly of a ladee who is not his wife. However, it wasn't until recently, after it was reported that Mister Snow's new baby momma popped their love child out of her adulterous chocha, that the erstwhile couple put their once happy home in Alpharetta, GA on the market with an asking price of $4,998,000.

Of course, Your Mama don't know a basketball from a golf club so we had a quick consult with our ball obsessed b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau who told us that Mister Snow, who retired only in 2009, first played for the Seattle Supersonics before he was traded to the Philadelphia 76ers where he spent the majority of his professional career as a ball dribbler and shooter. In 2004 Mister Snow was traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Although he missed only 1 game between 2004 and 2007, some torn cartilage in his knee forced him to sit out the 2008 and 2009 seasons. In April of 2009, the Cavs released Mister Snow from his contract and, reportedly, were only required to pay out a portion of his $7,000,000+ salary. Nowadays, besides getting himself a dee-vorce and a new baby momma to support, Mister Snow busies himself as an analyst for something called NBA TV.

Soon to be ex-Missus Snow became a household name among reality television junkies like Your Mama when she appeared on the first season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Oh that poor DeShawn. She seemed like a nice lady who did her charity work and who had taken to her lavish lifestyle like to the manor she was born. The mousy Missus Snow was, however, no match for the other publicity loving pirhanas on the show including larger than life Nene Leakes, be-wigged adulteress Kim Zolciak, and the most harrowing and desperately pretentious one of them all, Shereé Whitfield. Bravo axed soon to be ex-Missus Snow at the end of the first season. Your Mama thinks this was really best for soon to be ex-Missus Snow because those other women, vipers all, could eat up a little baby doe like DeShawn Snow in about 4 seconds flat and never even know they did it.

Property records shows that in October of 2005, long before there was another baby momma on the horizon, Mister and soon to be ex-Missus Snow forked over $395,500 for a vacant 4.65 acre parcel behind the upscale gates of The Manor Golf and Country Club. They spent the next few years designing and building the house of their marital dreams where they could raise their three babies in the lap of luxury attended to by chefs, nannies, personal assistants, and terlit gurls.

The Snow's manse, completed only in 2008, measures 10,317 square feet according to the Fulton County tax man's records and includes 2 fireplaces, 5 bedrooms, and 5 full and 2 half poopers. Listing information, on the other hand, indicates the Snow residence contains 7 fireplaces, 6 bedrooms and 12 terlits divided between 6 full and 6 half poopers. Your Mama can't explain the discrepancy in the number of terlits the tax man says the house has versus the number the real estate people say it has.

A swooping drive curls down and around a fountain–ugh–to the motor court at the front of the impressive looking but architecturally vague brick built traditional. To one side of the entry, a porte cochere leads to a second motor court where there is garaging for six luxury automobiles. The front door opens into the foyer where we're introduced the all beige everywhere palette that permeates every corner, nook, and cranny of Mister and soon to be ex-Missus Snow's mansion. Your Mama is not nor should the children be surprised by the all beige decorative scheme since it's done across the country in so many–too many–of the over-sized suburban mansions that were built in the go-go real estate years of the first decade of the naughts.

A sweeping floating staircase with wrought iron balustrade rises up to the second floor rooms and the double height ceilings in the foyer continue into the formal living room. There was enough fabric yardage used to make the drapery to clothe an army of orphans and atop a deep shag area run in front of the carved stone fireplace are a matchy-matchy collection of chocolate brown sofas and chairs with fringed bottoms, rivet accents, and tassel-tied corner backs. They look like the sort of things another housewife with questionable taste might have bought for her New Jersey mansion.

Some of the other rooms in the Snow's mansion include a formal dining room, a well equipped but surprisingly small kitchen with breakfast bar and breakfast area, and an adjacent family room with another damn tee-vee, more double height ceilings, a massive stone fireplace, and pictures hung so high on the wall it gives Your Mama a kink in our neck just to think of looking up at them from the plush, rust colored sectional sofa. The Snow dwelling also includes, according to listing information, a state of the art movie theater with coved ceiling and dizzying carpeting, a paneled gentleman's study, and separate lady's office where soon to be ex-Missus Snow was seen on her first and only season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta interviewing potential household staff. It really is so difficult to find good help these days, isn't it DeShawn?

Whatever the number of actual bedrooms in the house–5 according to prop records and 6 according to marketing materials–the master suite includes a large bedroom furnished with yet another damn flat screen television. Do the Snows ever stop watching the damn boob-toob? Jee-zus! In the center of the room sits a gigantic bed with hokey tiger striped and fringed accent pillows and a tragic headboard that more than just a little resembles a bow tie. A raised sitting area at the far end of the room fits into one of the octagonal turrets at the back of the house and is outfitted with a couple of upholstered lounge chairs that flank but, strangely, face away from the fireplace. The remainder of the suite, according to listing information, includes custom closets and a "spa like" master pooper where a fireplace is situated right up against a gigantic jetted tub that sits on a raised platform with an arched ceiling and large windows looking out into the woods at the back of the property.

The lower terrace level, a generous collection of rooms that open out towards the swimming pool and back yard, contains a billiard room with three flat screen tee-vees mounted on the wall, a card room, wine cellar, a full bar/family room, and exercise facilities. The Snow's desire for luxury and convenience compelled them to install a damn hair salon complete with yet another wall mounted tee-vee, make-up counter, hair dryer, and and shampoo station. While Your Mama thinks it's kind of vulgar to even have a full-on beauty parlor in yer damn basement what's most disturbing to us about soon to be ex-Missus Snow's private salon is that it appears to have wall to wall carpeting. Wall to wall carpeting in a beauty parlor. Think about that children. It's just gross and disgusting. That's a serious decorative mistake that we're certain soon to be ex-Missus Snow's house gurl quietly curses her for when it comes time to clean up the hair clippings.

The backyard backs up to woods for privacy and includes a children's playground with jungle gym, a full-sized outdoor basketball/sport court, and a free-form swimming pool that for some reason listing information calls "hotel sized." Two octagonal open air pavilions sit on either side of the swimming pool. One shelters a sunken outdoor kitchen and barbecue station and the other partially shades a spa and sitting area in front an outdoor fireplace with stone facing. There is, it should come as no surprise to the children, a flat screen television mounted above the fireplace. The swimming pool's infinity edge spills down into a lower pool and terrace with a built in fire pit. Listing photos show four wheeled chaise sun beds surrounding the built-in fire pit, which is strange because who sunbathes around a fire pit?

Listing information indicates that the Snow's soon to be former residence is equipped with a central vacuuming system, zoned heating and cooling systems, a steam shower and dry sauna, and whole house music, video and security systems.

The Snows have moved around a lot and as such have owned a large number of properties in various areas of the U-nited States. As best as your Mama can tell they still own a 3 bedroom and 2 pooper condo in Alpharetta, GA, a modest 3 bedroom and 2 pooper house in Canton, OH, and another condo in Oak Park, MI that soon to be ex-Missus Snow owns with a another woman who we'd guess but do not know is her mother.

listing photos: Beacham & Company Realtors


Anonymous said...

Beautiful home (minus that odd movie room). So sad to hear about this divorce DeShawn, though very spoiled, always seemed so nice and her soon-to-be-ex...well I will refrain from commenting on him at all. Your Mama would probably say if you don't have something nice to say...

TheVinylVillager said...

Mama, as to the descrepency between the tax man and the realtor, I suspect, but can't be sure, that the tax man does NOT count the terrace level. Here in my little town, thats how its done. For some reason, the tax man cares naught for levels even partially below ground.

Poor DeShawn, she did seem to be one of the more genuine and nice reality "housewives"

Anonymous said...

Do the Snows ever stop watching the damn boob-toob?

Mama, when you've got nothing at all in your head you have to fill it up with something. Hence the TV. I bet they favor Fox News and similar fare.

lil' gay boy said...

They spent all that time building their "dream home"?

Just how does one account for the dissonant cacophony of mishmash-ed "pseudo-architectural" styles; were the blueprints done in braille?

A rambling, vulgar attempt at grandeur that fell well short of the mark...but I guess that's the best you can hope for in a home overlooking one of Alpharetta's most picturesque sumps.

candi speling said...

Georgia, again?

Jeannified said...

Yep, like I said...they like those big mansions in Atlanta (Alpharetta...suburb)!

I grew up there and was always fascinated by the huge mansions littered EVERYWHERE! I was shocked when I moved to San Diego and saw what LITTLE you got for the money! As is evidenced by Tyler Perry's new pile 'o poo, you get quite alot (at least QUANTITY...though the workmanship was still good in his architectural mish-mash of a house that he had torn down.)

Love me all that beige! ;-) Nice house overall. Too bad for DeShawn.

P.S. My husband built a fire ring EXACTLY like the one between the two chaise loungers. Too bad we don't have the house and yard to go with it!

angie said...

I liked DeShawn too, and feel badly for her. What a creep her husband turned out to be, grrr. The silver lining in her situation - a one way ticket out of McMansion hell. I hope she gets a very good settlement because she deserves it.

Anonymous said...

I remember Deshawn didn't even see the interiors until the day she moved in, after paying some blonde LA decorator lady.

Anonymous said...

DeShawn Snow is the most annoying woman in the world.
I can see why he ran around on her.

Aunt Gina said...

nouveau riche, gone tomorrow.

makes you sentimental for Old Money, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

"A raised sitting area at the far end of the room fits into one of the octagonal turrets at the back of the house and is outfitted with a couple of upholstered lounge chairs that flank but, strangely, face away from the fireplace."

I read "outfitted" as "outraged" first time round. Maybe outraged is a better description though?

Anonymous said...

I guess it's all part of "Got's plan"

Georgica Pond said...

@ aunt dear, how right you are........

Anonymous said...

Nouveau yucko

Anonymous said...

There are many, many great classic homes and romantic grand estates in Atlanta -especially in the intown neighborhoods -and not everyone here is as tasteless and vapid as this week's posts would lead you to believe. Unfortunately, only the more freakish properties (and freakish property owners) are our 'gawk-worthy' newsmakers here.