Friday, April 9, 2010

Judd Apatow Lists Unfunny House

SELLER: Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann
LOCATION: Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $6,495,000
SIZE: 6,018 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama spent the morning fielding an influx of covert communiques from a number well placed real estate people on the West Side of Los Angeles who kindly and thoughtfully let us know that low-brow comedy king Judd Apatow and his wife Leslie Mann have listed their Pacific Palisades property with an asking price of $6,495,000.

In the 1990s Judd Apatow wrote and produced a myriad boob-toob programs like The Ben Stiller Show, The Larry Sanders Show and Freaks and Geeks. In the 2000s Mister Apatow moved over to making movies scoring huge hits with The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Pineapple Express. A few nimble flicks of the beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus and we discover that just those three movies alone did a combined and colossal $498,080,006 in world wide box office. That kind of bizness in less than 5 years times means Mister Apatow and can write his own ticket in Tinseltown, hunnies.

In addition to making the already rich Mister Apatow filthy stinking rich, his raging success making movies about dimwitted dweebs and torpid tokers also meant that he and the Missus–an actress who, not surprisingly, makes appearances in many of her huzband's motion picture projects–needed a new house to match their new super wealth and his new-found status as one of Hollywood's hardcore power players.

Property records reveal Mister and Missus Apatow bought their Pacific Palisades starter estate in February of 2003, forking over $4,474,000 for the perfectly private property located at the tail end of a gated cul-de-sac. Listing information indicates the gated mini-estate encompasses nearly an acre of land and a manse that measures 6,018 square feet with 4 family bedrooms, each with en suite bathing and terliting facilities, a powder pooper, and a separate staff suite with its own private pooper.

The double height entrance hall with its gently curving Scarlett O'Hara style staircase and glossy parquet flooring sets the mood and decorative language of the house and, children, the style is decidedly grown up and not even remotely comical. It's not that Your Mama thought the Apatows would cotton to a type of day-core that has Jack-in-the-Boxes popping up out of the shrubbery when the doorbell gets rung, but seriously people, there ain't a hookah or a bong to be seen anywhere.

In addition to a paneled library that, according to listing information, has a fireplace and built in bookshelves, the Apatow's soon to be former home has a formal dining room, a narrow, state of the art movie theater with raked seating and what looks like a gold-leafed ceiling treatment, and a secret room. Of course, Your Mama don't know an I-talian from an iPhone, but we have to assume the secret room is a panic room of some sort since panic rooms have become both trendy and de rigueur in the fancy (and not so fancy) homes owned by the rich, the famous and the paranoid.

The open plan eat-in kitchen has a high flat ceiling criss-crossed by rough hewn wood beams, a built in breakfast booth wrapped in a row tall eight-pane windows, high-grade stainless steel appliances including a multi-burner mac-daddy Wolf brand range, a butler's pantry with a temperature controlled wine cellar and, hanging above the hulking work island with its delicate feet, an sparkly crystal chandelier. We could–it should not surprise the children to know–do without the sparkly chandelier and the dainty feet on the work island. Oh, let's be honest buttons. As well equipped and expensive as this kitchen clearly is, there's really nothing in there that's Your Mama's personal taste. But that's really no matter because we're not in the market for this house or any other six and a half million clam casa. Anyhoo, the kitchen is open to the adjacent family room that, according to listing information, features some vaulted and and beamed ceilings, a fireplace and French doors that open to a stone patio that in turns gives way to the backyard.

In addition to a fully done up and did over playroom with a pink and white checkerboard flooring, a puny built-in stage complete with a fringed velvet curtain, and a child-sized play kitchen, the second floor includes the master suite, painted the palest shade of blush Your Mama has ever seen, that features a fireplace with a flat screen tee-vee mounted above it, a private ocean view balcony, a "lavish" pooper, and 2 large custom fitted closets.

There are several patios and terraces off the back of the house that lead to the flat backyard where the Apatows have a flat grassy pad with a jungle gym that probably cost more than Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's monthly mortgage and a stone terrace that surrounds a simple rectangular shaped swimming pool and spa. Beyond the gardener maintained grounds, the land falls off into the rough and tumble of a canyon that funnels the eye to an ocean view that, while not panoramic, offers a charming whitewater and Queen's Necklace view of the beach as it curves around and turns from Pacific Palisades into Santa Monica. On a clear day, it's probably possible to see the Santa Monica Pier.
Your Mama does not know if the Apatow clan has decamped for new digs or not, but we do know that they purchased a new family nest nearly a year ago. In early July of 2009, some of the children who haven't fried their brain on the dope may recall, Your Mama passed along a juicy morsel of real estate rumor and gossip that we got from a frightfully well connected source who snitched that Mister and Missus Apatow were fixin' to spend around $20,000,000 to purchase the home (and every stick of furniture in the home) of tee-vee producer Marty Adelstein (Prison Break, Point Pleasant, Tru Calling). Records and previous reports reveal they paid $18,250,000 for the estate. While we don't know if that number includes the purchase of the furniture, we have it on good authority–and from previous reports–that property was never on the open market. The Apatow's new homestead, located in a very desirable section of lower Brentwood and built in 2006 in the style of Los Angeles' legendary architect Paul Williams, weighs in at a Hollywood honcho sized 10,341 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 8 poopers mansion (above)

Property records show that Mister and Missus Apatow also own a swank condo at the Hualalai Resort just outside Kailua-Kona on the big island of Hawaii that they purchased in January of 2009 for $4,900,000. This is the same development where Cher recently sold a newly built and never occupied compound for $8,720,000.

source: David Offer, Prudential CA Brentwood / photos Lee Manning Photography


Jacaranda Johnson, GRI said...

"well placed real estate people", hmmm....were they well placed in front a cocktail, perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Embarrassingly pretentious daycore that trips and falls on its face. Kersplat!

Anonymous said...

Judd Apatow is a piece of garbage and has single handedly tried to ruin the movie industry.
I hope he burns in hell and they never allow him to make another movie.
Total hack.

The Hangover and Hot Tub Time Machine prove you can make a quality and fun movie without being low and crass like Apatow.

Anonymous said...

did anyone know that leslie mann's family actually owns the ayres boutique hotels?

StPaulSnowman said...

It is clear that mn homes for sale has too much time on his/her hands................and I can see why.

Crowley said...

1. Maybe he keeps his hookah and bong in the secret room?

2. I call my Wolf range the mac daddy, too!

3. Apatow makes pretty damn funny movies. Many very successful Hollywood players are jerks.

4. He seems to have pretty decent taste in real estate, if not decor.

Anonymous said...

The burning question I have is, since the exact same chair appears in the master as in the foyer, where else might we find this piece of furniture?! Hopefully there was a volume discount.

To Anon 8:10...Apatow should 'burn in hell'? You need to be medicated my friend if this is your honest and immediate reaction when this filmmaker is mentioned -unless he ran over your grandmother. Otherwise, you have anger issues and need help.

Anonymous said...

Either Apatow built the set for Adam Sandler's character's house in "Funny People" to look exactly like his own house, or he filmed those scenes at home, cause I swear that's the same damn house.

Mars said...


Tell me what kind of idiot endeavors to make wood look this bad?

And btw does the guy have a family of 12 or something? Cos' I can't account for the friggin' huuugeness of that place. Guess we're a little full of ourselves, ay, Judd?

Carla said...

They get these kind of houses to show off in a way. I know a celebrity that would not get a penthouse if she travelled anywhere because she is modest and humble. Her name: Rachel Bilson. She went to Argentina and just got an apartment for rent in buenos aires and not a super chalet in the most exclusive neighbourhood with a huge garden and a fountain, just a nice big flat but that is it. I like them humble!