Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tennis Titan Andy Roddick Lists Austin Bachelor Pad

SELLER: Andy Roddick
PRICE: $4,000,000
SIZE: 5,558 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 full and 2 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama was planning to skip down to South Beach, FL this morning to discuss the apartment of of a well known hip hopper that has hit the market on the eve of his imprisonment. But we'll have to get to that bit o' bidness later because deep into last night Your Mama received a covert communique from prolific tipster Vlad the Revealer who turned us on to something we find a wee bit more interesting even if some of you will not. Vlad, who now toils for Big Dave at Celebrity Address Aerial, kindly pointed Your Mama's beady eyes and nosy nose down the the great state of Texas where professional tennis stud Andy Roddick has listed his Austin bachelor pad with an asking price of $4,000,000.

Unlike our friend Fiona Trambeau who likes anything and everything that has to do with balls, there are very few athletic endeavors that Your Mama cares to know about, watch or participate in. We do, however, l.o.v.e. the tennis. While it ain't no thing but a train wreck and a tragedy to see Your Mama flailing about on the court in a pair of winter white sneakers and bug eyed dark glasses, it's a treat and a dee-light to watch well-formed Andy Roddick swing his racket and serve those fuzzy little balls hard hard hard. The experience is only made more titillating knowing that at any moment the hot-headed Mister Roddick might fly off into a hissy fit, huffing, puffing and muttering indignities at the officials such as he did at the 2008 Aussie Open when he snapped at one of the umpires, "You're an idiot. Stay in school, kids, or you'll end up being an umpire."

Mister Roddick, a former number one ranked player, holds the record for the fastest serve in professional tennis at a string scorching 155 miles per hour and he's unquestionably a crack player who is consistently ranked among the top ten man players in the world. However, he just can't seem to quite get to back to the tippy top of the tennis tour heap since winning his only Grand Slam title at the U.S. Open way back in 2003. Even still, ever since he was knee high to a two-handed backhand, the game and its exceedingly lucrative endorsements with companies like Lacoste, Lexus and American Express have been damn good to his pocketbook.

Property records reveal that November of 2003, fresh on the heels of his win at the U.S. Open, Mister Roddick forked over $1,463,000 for a waterfront property in a gated enclave along the shore of scenic Lake Austin. According to listing information and property records, the Roddick residence measures a family friendly 5,558 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms and 3 full and 2 half poopers.

An electronic gate slides open to a large motor court in front of what is essentially a very architecturally unattractive house. Sorry Andy, sweets, we think you're aces but we're just being honest about what we think about the wonky front facade of your house. Inside, despite his recent marriage to swimsuit moe-dell Brooklyn Decker, it's pure 20-something year old bachelor dude day-core.

The formal living room has a comtempo-styled pool table with garish red felt as its centerpiece and the family room has a flat screeen tee-vee mounted above the fireplace and, above that, the dead head of a deer or some other animal peers out over the room. The formal dining room, all red on the walls, the rug and in the "art," is home to a swoopy swirly sculpture that looks like it might attack someone sitting at the dining room table that itself looks like it might have been bought on sale at CostPlus. The library/office room has been turned into a poker room, natch, and the media room has a damn drum set in it. Who knew Mister Roddick banged the drums?

The master bedroom, all pumpkin, chocolate and oatmeal colored looks fine–if somewhat unfinished–at first. Then we notice that wee tee-vee on the console at the end of the bed. Wonder what that's for? The master bathroom, all beige beige beige has a separate glassed in shower and jetted tub for two. All that's missing from this sad pooper tableau is a tray full of men's fragrances and body sprays by Aramis, Ikon and Axe.

A large terrace on the second floor looks out through the trees and over Lake Austin. Opposite the house, on the other side of the motor court, is a sport court where Mister Roddick can dribble and shoot and one of the bays of the garage has been, according to listing information, been converted into a full-sized work out room. Behind all that is the boat house where Mister Roddick keeps his, that's right, his boat. Your Mama could not be more pleased that there's not some cigarette boat or other penis substitute of a watercraft parked in the boat house because that, along with the poker, pool tables and intricately patterned and multi-colored rugs, would simply be more deep pocketed bachelorhood in one place than we could bear without the assistance of a nerve pill.

We can't imagine why Mister Roddick–and the new Missus Roddick–would choose to sell this house. While it's not our particular cup of architectural or decorative tea, it does look like a stellar location and a nice spot to start bringing up babies. Now listen here butter beans, Your Mama is starting any preggers rumors. We're just saying that if these two genetically blessed youngsters wanted, they could quite easily transform Mister Roddick's bachelor pad into a the home of a young and rich family.

His Austin digs were not, according to property records, the first house Mister Roddick bought with his tennis earnings. In October of 2001, the Nebraska born Roddick laid out $310,000 for a modest 3 bedroom and 2.5 pooper property in a gated community in Boca Raton, FL.

The newlyweds also, according to records and previous reports, have a pied a terre in New York City. In the spring of 2009 Mister Roddick, who married Miss Decker in a candlelit ceremony at his home that overlooks Lake Austin attended by pals Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf and Dame Elton John, spent about a million clams on a 1 bedroom and 1 pooper apartment in Manhattan's Gramercy Park neighborhood.

source: Jonathan Creath / Capital City Sotheby's International Realty


chris said...

Titan? I'd say he is pretty much a failed player. At one time he was going to be the next Sampras. Now I'm getting the giggles. Anyhoo, it is amazing how much moola a "not top" tennis player can accumulate. Where else can fifth or sixth raters do so well?

Anonymous said...

Really? So being the 5th or 6th best tennis player in the world for the last 10 years or so makes him a failed player? Wow. That is harsh.

I realize he didn't fully achieve what most thought he would but, come on, he's hardly a failure.

Love him, hate the house.

Anonymous said...

i think he recently sold his gramercy apt and moved to brooklyn...mama, can you confirm? thought brooklyn (the wife) had said that on one of the talk shows...

Anonymous said...

Andy's wife is probably ranked in the top 10 most beautiful women in the World.......Check out the cover of Sports Illustrated....

SID DELUCA said...

Oh Mama we love it when you shine your light on the Lone Star State.
I think this here spread is near Miz Bullock's, no? I know she has lakefront in Austin. Anyhoo, the eyes of Texas are upon ya! And Austin is a wunnerful place to bring up chirren. Look how well Tom Ford turned out! Holler!

Anonymous said...

I guess he's a failure ifen you believe that 2nd place = first loser...counting the zeroes in that asking prices says otherwise!

But I digress...looks like the place was decorated in a hurry and is there some sort of law that home theatres have to actually look like a movie theatre -with posters hung on the wall, ugly-ass carpets, not to mention those terrible reclining chairs. Can't someone do up a theatre so that it looks like a nice, comfortable room -and not one that has to have the door closed?

dolly said...

The drum/media room (and for some mysterious reason the boat garage as well) made me physically recoil from my screen in horror.

Candi Speling said...

Even though he's no longer on the market I still think he's cute. And don't get me started about a shirtless James Blake. I didn't know Tom Ford was from Texas, but what a hunk of man. Those three are making my hormones rage.

Anonymous said...

Celebrity Address Aerial used to be a good site, until it went from being free to $9.99/month. It's just so totally not worth that much just to look at aerial photos of celebrity homes. Too bad they couldn't figure out how to keep it free with ads or come up with a more reasonable price for their content. Mama, I hope you never start charging, because while I love you dearly, I wouldn't pay to read your column either.

Anonymous said...

This house is butt-ugly--inside and out. I can understand he bought it quite a while ago when he was quite a bit younger, but jeez, with all of his money certainly he can afford to update it to something classier than looking like a frat house. Good luck getting $4-million for that in Austin.

StPaulSnowman said...

Surprising that anyone would think of him as a failure. Winning just one slam would validate any tennis career. With the worldwide depth of talent we now have, I would say he has done very well. The magnificent Mr. Federer is an anomaly and it is narrow minded to measure every tennis professional's career by tens of slam titles. Unless the poster is Chris Evert, I would advise him or her to bite on a rock.

Anonymous said...

Amazing how the sight of a home used by a straight young man can upset the delicate sensibilities of some of your, um, more sensitive readers. Although there is always THIS pic to ponder...

p.s. I think I like the ring of "Dame Elton" better

chris said...

I might have said "he didn't live up to his promise." Perhaps that would have gone down better. I do note that he has had one win in Grand Slam tournaments, 2000-2009, vs. Federer's 15 wins in the same period. Being one fifteenth as good as Federer, of course, makes him a real "winner". Mea culpa.

Anonymous said...

He paid $1.5 million for this and now wants $4million?
Kiss my @#$.

And as someone who was a state champion tennis player, Roddick is kind of a failure.
Monetary wise he is a winner, but he is not a success as a tennis player.
In real life if you don't win, you are not a success.
Federer and Nadal are the winners in modern day men's tennis.

Anonymous said...

Rhode Island state champion! Wow you really are a winner. I am impressed! I'll be looking to buy one of your wrist bands on Ebay.

Stewie said...

What the hell is wrong with you guys? Especially you Chris. Roddick is most definitely not a 'failure'. He's not the best player in the world, yes that's obvious. But he's a good player who has reached the quarter and semi-finals on many occasions. He has achieved a lot. Some people really are idiots and think everyone who isn't as successful as Federer or the Williams sisters is a failure. How ridiculous and closed-minded.
Don't like the house very much btw, though I absolutely love Austin and lakeside properties there

Jumpin' Jejosephat in LA said...

Mama, please, for the love of God, post another entry, even if it has nothing to do with celebrity real estate. I'm afraid if I open my bookmark to your site and get confronted with this abortion of a bachelor pad nightmare... well, let's just say it won't be pretty when I grab a pair of knitting needles and proceed to ram them into my retinas.
You wouldn't want that on your gin-swilled concious, would you Mama? Your devoted tequila-infused butter bean thanks you.

chris said...

Stewie: not to prolong the discussion but my characterization of him as a "failure" was relative to what had been expected of him, not relative to tennis players in general. Federer got 15 wins out of a possible 40 (Grand Slam tournaments 2000-2009); Roddick got 1 win our of 40. There is a big difference there whether you like it or not.

Candi Speling said...

Mama "it's" means "it is." (red felt). I'm going to spank your butt with my wooden paddle---Oops, you might enjoy it too much. My verification words are "Frustrated amateur tennis players putting down tennis pros on a real estate blog." TTFN

Anonymous said...

6:48, I guess you think you are pretty funny.
Actually in 2 different states, Ohio and Michigan.
My house is bigger than this and I live next door to a $14 million a year NBA player so I think I am doing just fine.
Nobody remembers the guy that did not win or could not close the deal.
Real life.

Anonymous said...

Celebrity Address Aerial is worthless and a ripoff!

Use It is totally free and has way more info. I use it to find house addresses than do final lookup on Zillow.

Also, according to Zillow, this place has been on the market for 77 days. Time to drop the price!

Here is the listing site -

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 2:45. You live next door to a 14 million dollar house. Now I really am impressed. I live next door to a 15 million dollar office building........real life indeed!

Anonymous said...

I wonder why he'd sell...wouldn't he want to retain TX state tax?

monique said...

He is building another one on the other side of the lake. More appropriate to a married couple, I suppose and lots of bedrooms for the kiddies.

Aquaman said...

He might have one big win left, but the window is closing. he has played some world class tennis even when losing. his loss to Federer at Wimbledon last year was beyond, beyond impressive. his big failing was not adequately addressing his games flaws earlier in his career (movement and backhand), which he now has, but alas, it might be too late.

but i digress - the reason for this comment is the superlative diorama that is this sentence - "All that's missing from this sad pooper tableau is a tray full of men's fragrances and body sprays by Aramis, Ikon and Axe."

Anonymous said...

It's houses like this that have ruined Mount Bonnell and the shores of Lake Austin.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he can sell it to Austin local Sandra Bullock. She likes collecting expensive and overpriced houses.

I can just see Jesse James ripping around the lake in a pimped out jet ski, and his pit Bull in an inner tube towed behind him.

Anonymous said...

I love armchair quarterbacks (or in this case, tennis players) who have had moderate success on an amateur level and feel they are now an authority of professional players.

Let's see the tally count..
Andy Roddick:
US Open Title
3time Wimbeldon finalist
Lacoste, Lexus, American Express endoresements
Former World #1
Fastest Serve 155 MPH
Married to SI cover girl

You (Anonymous)
State Champion of TWO states
Next door neighbor to an NBA player

Unless you're Roger Federer or Rapha, I don't think he's really worried about you and your opinions. Tell your neighbor hi! and good luck at your next club league match.

PS--Concerning the home/design, one must remember this is home of a 27 year old and primarilly a bachelor pad. (hence, probably why it's for sale) He purchased it when he was 20! What would you expect?!

Anonymous said...

5th or 6th and a failure? Please. So,let's see is Matt Damon a failure he is not as good as Brad Pitt or Clooney, Don Cheadle or Denzel Washington; how about Comfort Inn and suites compared to the Radisson, are they a failure? or Mark Cuban's team not winning it all, is he a failure? LOL. we'd all love to be 6th or even 20th in these careers, who are ya' kiddin. Sometimes, there is just a phenom, Federer, very superior that you meet that skews your numbers.

Ginase said...

Wodgermean no state tax?

Wot's the $ 65k per annum for then? And that would be from taxed $$.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who can serve ace after ace with his talent in tennis is by no means a failure. At present, he is the USA's best tennis player. For those of you who sit back and judge him so harshly - I suggest you stand up and show us how you might do it better. In addition, he proves himself over and over with his charities he's involved with and has played on the Davis Cup for our Country. I'm a fan who thinks your cheap shots you post are just trash talk to be ignored. Go Andy!