Monday, February 22, 2010

Sinbad Lists in Horsey Hidden Hidden

SELLER: David Atkins a.k.a. Sinbad
LOCATION: Hidden Hills, CA
PRICE: $3,000,000
SIZE: 5,064 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Woe is Sinbad. Not only is the "comedian's" career stuck down deep in the terlit of (un)funny, but he's got the IRS breathing down his back, filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in December of 2009 and listed his house in the guard gated, horsey and star studded enclave of Hidden Hills, CA with an asking price of $3,000,000.

Back in the late 1980s and mid-1990s a lot of people thought Sinbad–nee David Atkins–was funny. Not Your Mama. We didn't think Sinbad was funny when he was a finalist on Star Search in 1983, we did not think Sinbad was funny on A Different World and we thought he was spectacularly unfunny on the eponymous and short lived program The Sinbad Show. Those years were, not the less, his salad days.

Then along came the late 1990s, the beginning of a long long long professional dry spell that lasted until, well, now. It's not that Mister Sinbad did not work during the lean years. He did. He just didn't have many if any primo gigs. Your Mama assumes he did some stand up and his resume on the Internet Movie Data Base shows he appeared in a number of cinematic wonders including–but not limited to–Jingle All the Way with Arnold Schwarzenegger, some sad thing called Good Burger, a movie called Stompin', the unfortunately titled of Cuttin Da Mustard, as well as a couple of episodes of the erstwhile Cosby and a single episode of the also erstwhile Moesha.

More recently, the down on his luck and heels comic filmed an hour long comedy special for Comedy Central called Sinbad: Where U Been and he will soon take a turn on Donald Trump's next season of The Celebrity Apprentice with a number of other has been folks like disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, former pro baseballer Darryl Strawberry, actress Holly Robinson Peete, and hairrific rock star Bret Michaels. It's not exactly where former celebs go to hammer the final nail in their professional coffin–that would be I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, The Surreal Life and/or Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew–but it's pretty dang close.

Fifteen years of bit parts in little movies, recurring roles on boob toob programs no one has ever heard of (Slacker Cats, Resurrection Road), and a reality show or two do not a mortgage or, as it turns out, taxes pay. See puppies, the IRS alleges that Sinbad owes a staggering $8,150,000 in back taxes and Your Mama should not have to tell the children that one simply does not screw with with the IRS because they are one of the few entities that can and will squeeze blood from a stone. In mid-December of 2009 Mister Sinbad filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which means all his non-exempt assets must be sold in order to pay his creditors and, of course, the gubbamint gets their slice of the pie first. Your Mama presumes, but does not know for sure, that the reason Mister Sinbad is selling his residence in Hidden Hills has something to do with this bit o' ugly bizness. We can't think of a single other reason he'd choose to sell in the midst of filing for chapter 7 bankruptcy.

Anyhoo, property records show that Mister Sinbad bought his 2.6 acre property in June of 1997 for $1,525,000. Technically, the house is owned by Mister Sinbad's brother Michael but, according to previous reports, the IRS believes that set up is nothing more than a pretense, a way in which Mister and Missus Sinbad can protect what very well may be their largest and only real asset.

The Tudor-ish style house, according to listing information, measures 5,064 square feet and contains 5 bedrooms and 5 poopers. A long, ratty-tatty tree-lined drive way rolls past a big ol' dirt patch surrounded by white split-rail fencing. This being Hidden Hills where it's not uncommon for residents to own horses, so Your Mama this stretch of unkempt dirt is meant to be a corral or riding ring for horses.

Listing photos are few and just a quick look at the living room and Your Mama understand why: It looks like a damn hoarder lives in there. Or, giving the benefit of serious doubt and best case scenario, Mister and Missus Sinbad have already begun to pack up their belongings and stack them up in the corners and against the walls. Lord have mercy Your Mama would come right unglued living amid all that crap and clutter. According to listing information, the two-story home also includes a formal dining room with fireplace, an office/family room with a fireplace, a full recording studio and a guest house with full kitchen.

In addition to the big ol' dirt patch, other exterior amenities include a large motor court and 4-car garage, a black bottom swimming pool with a waterfall, barn, and a pine needle strewn sport court with an adjacent satellite dish that looks large enough to pull down cable channels from the damn moon.

A person can not swing a cat in Hidden Hills without knocking over a famous person's fat ego. Other well-known residents of the family friendly community include but are hardly limited to Lisa Marie Presley, Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, Melissa Etheridge and her wifey Tammy Michaels, Bruce Jenner and his kollection of Kardashians, 7th Heaven's Beverly Mitchell, Nicolette Sheridan owns Melissa Etheridge's old house and LeAnn Rimes is currently leasing a house in the gated enclave.

source: Teles Properties


Madam Pince said...

Jeezus Lawd, Mama, it does look like a bunch of hoarders live there! Call TLC!

I completely agree that the pseudonymously-named pirate guy was never funny, which means he should have invested in something much smaller and more affordable. Like a singlewide in Bakersfield.

Anonymous said...

I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.

chris said...

Everything looks okay except that awful room? or what?

Anonymous said...

There is a great idea for a new reality show..."Celebrity Hoarders".

Anonymous said...

He owes over 8 million bucks to the IRS! WOW, what was he doing with all that money he made over the years?

I really don't think he will get anywhere near that asking price for two reasons.
First, all his neighbors are currently dumping their ritzy houses for much less, and many are newer and much better kept. Second, when they find out he is in chapter 7, they will low ball him offers knowing he is desperate.

Judging by the packing boxes in the living room, the IRS already grabbed all his goods. They should have at least left them up for the house photo shot.

Also, when was this house built? The surrounding houses are all ringing in at about 1955. Looks like he added the pool and the basketball court as an after thought. Not real crazy about the blue patio furniture and b-court blue strips. Also, the stone pool edging, stone deck stringers, and stone walks do not go with the old 1955 brick on the house, fireplaces, and front porch. Poorly designed and planned. The pool area is a mess of thrown together materials and landscaping.

Anonymous said...

I love you Mama, but this one's just mean. The thing about Sinbad is that while yeah, he's not exactly a comedy genius, he's also not a prick.

The difference in the schaudenfreude factor is that when you've got an MC Hammer-type who blows it all because he thought he was an all-time legend, he deserves to be shat on. Ain't no shortage of those around here. But Sinbad? He just needs a hug.

OK, but if he really pulled a Wesley Snipes on what is presumably 16M+ in income, fuck him.

? said...

I am intrigued. How does one end up owing the government 8.5 million clams in unpaid taxes?

Presumably he was working as an independent contractor while doing his acting gigs, so while he was, surprisingly so, making the bucks to be in the tax bracket where he'd have to be paying millions in taxes, no one bothered to check to see if he paid his taxes? I would have thought the IRS keeps close tabs on the high taxpayers, particularly Hollywood people whose incomes no doubt dramatically vary on a year to year basis.

midTN said...

I realize he has a LOT on his mind right now what with the IRS and that little situation with the 8 millon clams he owes, but couldn't someone have told him a photog was coming over and helped him straighten up that living room?

I sincerely wish Sinbad lots of luck.

CarlaInCalifornia said...

Wow. I agree with Anon. 10:15pm. Sinbad needs help not hurtful words.

I believe Sinbad got bad advice from some fool who thought it was acceptable to screw the IRS. With the economy as it is, the IRS is going to gun after anyone owing money. The US Gov't is hurting too.

I hope Sinbad can clean up this mess and move on with lesson learned: Don't mess with the IRS!

And... Pay your taxes!

Anonymous said...

The people complaining about Sinbad being persecuted are forgetting that all of us pay taxes so that we *don't* end up fielding a call from the IRS. He obviously skipped out on paying taxes for some serious income - and now that chicken's come home to roost.

Sorry, Guy...but you should have followed the law like the rest of us.

...and that house looks absolutely terrible. Just terrible.

Anonymous said...

"I believe Sinbad got bad advice from some fool who thought it was acceptable to screw the IRS"

Really? Do you really believe that? And who out there in the U.S. doesn't know it's not nice to screw with the IRS? Come on.

People don't not pay taxes and think that's okay. Everyone knows you can't avoid death and taxes. Even Sinbad is smart enough to know that.

Hidden Hills is great if you like that sort of thing, and the house might be salvageable, but it's looking a hot neglected mess at the moment.

Anonymous said...

I guess he should have called Frank & Jamie McCourt for tax advice. What a pair of welfare queens!

Anonymous said...

I know this is an old post, but for those interested...this house was featured extensively inside & out in the 1978 Linda Blair movie, "Stranger In Our House" aka "Summer of Fear". Back then, it was a very quaint house! Check it out!