Friday, December 18, 2009

David Boreanaz Moving On

SELLER: David Boreanaz and Jaime Bergman
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,249,000
SIZE: 3,152 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Private & tranquil home set in the hills above the Sunset Strip. This pristine residence has been transformed over the years into a luxurious compound. Vaulted ceilings in the living rm. Updated kitchen w/ a family rm & eat-in area. Upstairs is the private master suite w/ city views. Amazing detached state of the art media/guest house w/ a full dark hued bar. Upstairs is a bed + office/bed & full bath. Tranquil sitting areas w/ fire pits, an outdoor kitchen and romantic fireplace.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Bones actor David Boreanaz has been much in the news lately, or at least splashed across all the gossip glossies, tabloids and blogs, due to his alleged affair with now infamous VIP party hostess and alleged ho wrangler Rachel Uchitel who has become a household name lately due to her alleged affair with that 14-timing dog Tiger Woods. Now listen children, Your Mama ain't saying there's a connection, because we certainly don't know nuthin' from a screwdriver, but not long after word leaked out that Mister Boreanaz had allegedly done the dirty with Miss Uchitel while his acturuss wifey Jaime Bergman was preggers with their second baby, the married couple's house above Los Angeles' Sunset Strip hit the market with an asking price of $3,249,000.

Mister Boreanaz is the Saturn Award winning lead player and a producer on a tee-vee program called Bones. His past entertainment bizness successes include a few years on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which lucky for him, turned into a spin-off show called Angel. In the late 1990s Mister Boreanaz's blondie baby momma Jaime Bergman worked as a St. Pauli Girl and later bared her boobies and baby maker in the slick pages of Playboy as well as appeared in at least a couple of Playboy videos. Miss Bergman moved into more mainstream fare with roles like "Girl #2" in Shasta McNasty and "Buxum Blond" in Soulkeeper before she had a good couple of years playing the naughtily named B.J. Cummings on a program called Son of the Beach, a short-lived parody on Baywatch.

Property records are a wee bit wacky on this one, but best as we can tell, Mister Boreanaz bought his two parcel property in May of 2000 for an undisclosed amount of money. As best as we can sort out from listing information, the compound like residence contains 3 bedrooms and 3.5 poopers in the main house and another one or two bedrooms and a single pooper in the detached guesthouse/media room that opens up to the brick terrace that surrounds the dark bottomed swimming pool and spa.

The property is fully walled, gated and hedged–meaning there ain't nuthin' for none of you people to see iffin any of you puppies get a wild and stoopid hair to hop in your hoopdies and head up into the hills above the Sunset Strip. Behind the gates, the front facade of the ranch style residence presents an unassuming and lackluster air of modesty and, quite frankly, looks like about 80% of the houses in far less glittery but no less celebified Studio City, CA.

Inside, things improve dramatically. On one side of the narrow entrance hall is a living room with wood floors, a fireplace and a vaulted and beamed ceiling. Mister and Missus Boreanaz have furnished the room in a comfortable and traditional–if not particularly inspired–manner with a brown leather sofa and a couple of chunky brown leather chairs flanking the fireplace. What Your Mama appreciates most about the day-core in this room are those deep orange velvet curtains and that the knick knacks and paddy whacks actually look like they were bought and placed around the room by the home owner and not a nice, gay decorator trying to make it look like the home owner did the decorating.

Opposite the living room is the family room which has the same wood floors and vaulted and beamed ceiling as the living room. A huge red sectional sofa is tucked up into the corner for the best viewing of the flat screen tee-vee mounted on the wall. The cottage vibe continues in the renovated and well equipped eat-in kitchen which has more of the same lovely wood floors and vaulted and beamed ceiling as in the living and family rooms, top grade stainless steel appliances, a work island wrapped with beadboard and topped with a chopping board wood counter top.

The simply and barely furnished master bedroom is privately situated on the second floor, according to listing information, and includes a vaulted ceiling, built-in cabinetry, French doors that open to a small, private balcony, an updated pooper wrapped mostly in a yellow-ish tumbled stone tile, and a custom fitted walk-in closet.

The media room has state of the art equipment, according to listing information, and dark, chocolate wood built-ins, deep red velvet black out curtains, and a cozy if hard to keep clean white sofa and a couple of white upholstered chairs surround a dark red, tufted ottoman. A good chunk of the media room is, unfortunately, dedicated to a saloon-like space with a lot of dark wood, a built-in bar with a few bar stools, and a circular built-in booth lit by a crystal chandelier. About the only nice thing we're prepared to say about this saloon-like space is that it's a perfectly convenient spot near all the booze where liquor lovers like Your Mama can belly up to the bar on movie night.

Beside the swimming pool and behind the guesthouse/media room, are a fire pit with built-in seating surrounding it and a trellis shaded outdoor entertainment area with a fireplace and a built-in barbecue center that includes several cooking surfaces, a sink, a fridge and a beer tap. Now chickens, we know that some of you beer people will swoon over the built-in beer tap but it only reminds Your Mama of those three horrible frat house parties we made the mistake of going to a thousand years ago, back in our university days. Of course, if that tap could be converted to a gin & tonic dispenser we just might feel differently about it.

One of the Boreanaz's nearby neighbors is none other than celebrity plastic surgeon Richard Ellenbogen who the children may recall appeared regularly on that disturbing reality program Dr. 90210 and who, coincidentally, listed his house directly across the street from Mister and Missus Boreanz in October of 2009. Dr. Ellenbogen's vine covered villa remains for sale with an asking price of $3,495,000.

Property records show Mister Boreanaz also owns a 1,680 square foot condo in Park City, UT that he picked up in July 2006 for $829,920.


StPaulSnowman said...

He is a high school quality actor at best but he does have a really interestingly shaped skull. The decor, if it is by Boreanaz, looks a lot like what I would expect from his hometown Philadelphia suburbs. Personally, I am creeped out and embarassed by the "celebrity" plastic surgeons. They often spend more time and effort hawking their wares than perfecting their skills. I offer the examples seen in tabloids as evidence.
Once again, Mama's writing soars above the quality of her subject matter.

Anonymous said...

Regarding the possibility the house is for sale because of possible marital problems, David's father, longtime Philadelphia Channel 6 weatherman Dave Roberts retired last week, and both David & Jamie (And their kids) were there in the crowd gathered in the studio, frot and center and smiling happily, during his live on-air send off...

Anonymous said...

Is just me, or do the stained ceiling beams against the white ceilings look kind of busy? I would white-wash them.

Anonymous said...

Check this out for some more Park Ave. real estate porn:

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Pauper: I agree that the stained beams detract.

Carolyn said...

God, what a 2nd thing to be famous for.....YIKES.

cmoni said...

"My Mama", I love you and your blog...been checking in for quite sometime now, found you by accident and it was one good accident. I look forward to seeing what you have posted and especially your commentary. It's pure escapism, and let's face it the way the world is today everybody needs a little haven where they can simply drift away. Thanks for what you do, hope you keep doing it for a long, long time. Hope you and the Mister's holidays are wonderful and the g&t's flow steadily.

Anonymous said...

How clever, a fitted out village hall.

Madam Pince said...

I agree with Preppy -- those beams need to be whitewashed. Otherwise, I like this house. Full disclosure: during the run of Angel, I had his "Got Milk" ad as my wallpaper, although I've never watched any of his shows.

Anonymous said...

The chandelier dangling over the bathtub looks ridiculous.
I agree with everyone about whitewashing all the beams.

Anonymous said...

Have you seen him shirtless? Two words: YUM MEE. But I wish he didn't wax his chest; a little hair would be natural, believable and sensual. My verification words are "gin and tonic."

Anonymous said... to the mc mansion.uggh

Anonymous said...

StPaulSnowman: What?! I've lived in the suburbs of Philadelphia for my whole life and while I'm sure there are a few, I've never seen any house with this decor. Definitely not like most suburban homes, especially in his neighborhood.

He doesn't wax his yummy chest either ;)