Friday, May 1, 2009

Graham Edwards Double Whammy

SELLER: Graham and Lauren Edwards
LOCATION: Brewster Drive, Tarzana, CA
PRICE: $2,999,000
SIZE: 4,753 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Spectacular Spanish compound with profession detached recording studio!! Unbelievable privately gated estate with a beautiful custom main house, plus mother-in-law suite, detached guest unit, pool house with bath, den/office, separate detached gym and an amazing sound proof recording studio that has recorded some of the music's top stars! Entertainer's courtyard with pool, spa, outdoor fireplace and bbq center.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Due to unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, we have to be brief (and not particularly sassy) today. Sometimes that happens. And we do not want any lip or least not until the children start paying our bills.

Anyhoo, Your Mama knows an old, cross-eyed ladee who lives in Tarzana, CA, a suburban Los Angeles location that might as well be the moon to many Angelenos including Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter who seldom venture into that part of the San Fernando Valley unless it's required we visit this malevolent and crotchety octogenarian which, of course, we avoid if we can.

However, many rich and famous folks who don't care to hassle with the hateful west side traffic or deal with the balloon lipped ladees in Beverly Hills and the roaming packs of paparazzi that wreak havoc all over the Sunset Strip head out to the western end of the San Fernando Valley where they can live in big houses in places like Calabasas and Tarzana and pick up pineapples at the supermarket while wearing dirty sweat pants without fear of appearing without their celebrity face in the pages of the gossip glossies.

Two of those people are super-successful songwriters and producers Graham Edwards and his lady-mate Lauren Christy Edwards who recently listed their hacienda style house in hot as Hades Tarzana, CA with an asking price of $2,999,000. Coincidentally, the Edwards' residence sits just a hop skip and a 1-minute drive from the Ol' Cross-eyed Coot's hideousity that she calls a house.

Together, Mister and Missus Edwards–and with a third dude named Scott Spock–form a music production team called The Matrix. The trio has worked with a long list of pop stars and musicians like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Avril "The Spitter" Lavigne, Jason Mraz, Liz Phair and the unfortunately named rock band Korn which explains why the Edwards' digs includes a fully functional and sound-proofed recording studio.

Property records show the musical maestros snatched up their very private property in February of 2004 when they paid $2,600,000 for what property records show as a 4,753 square foot house with 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. Listing information also shows the house as having four bedrooms but it also indicates there are seven poopers on the property. Presumably these three other poopers are spread around in some of the detached rooms that listing information shows include a guest house, gym and pool house.

The "U" shaped casa on Brewster Drive is located down a private and gated driveway that leads to a large motor court with a bulky (and some might say unsightly), front-facing five car garage. This isn't the most elegant façade for a three-million dollar mansion but we imagine all the rock stars and wanna be pop stars appreciate being able to park their Range Rovers and Escalades out of the blistering heat of the Southern California sunshine when they're making music with The Matrix people. Next to the motor court and opposite the entrance to the house is a pergola like colonnade and small grassy area that appears to have a few holes for putting practice, a feature that will appeal to all those people who think that chasing a little white ball around the lawn is recreation but is completely useless to Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter who prefer racket sports over stick sports.

The open plan main living spaces have saltillo tiled floors, high wood beamed ceilings and, while not our personal taste, a reasonably well done melange of eclectic furniture that looks like people might actually be comfortable living here.

The central courtyard, which for all intents and purposes is also the front yard and the backyard, centers around a small, slightly raised swimming pool and is ringed by covered verandas perfect for sipping booze in the shade. An outdoor living room area is tucked off to one side of the courtyard and features a peaked wood ceiling, a fireplace and a wet bar for whipping up cocktails in between dips in the pool. Other courtyard amenities include a spa and built in bbq center for cooking up ribs and late night romantic encounters.

As it turns out, Mister and Missus Graham also own the house next door which property records show they purchased in May of 2006 for $1,800,000. A little peeping around on the interwebs reveals that the couple have also listed that 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom quasi-Mediterranean style residence with an asking price of $1,999,000.

Records also show that in October of 2008 the pair plunked down $1,962,500 for a newly built quasi-Cape Cod style house with 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms on Carpenter Street in what listing information called Studio City but is technically the less desirable Valley Village area just north of Studio City.

Your Mama would bet our long boded bitches Linda and Beverly that if any of the children are looking for a very private two house compound the Edwards would be willing to cut a deal because better to sell both of these houses at once than sell one and have the other linger on the market indefinitely.


Anonymous said...

their furniture looks like they won it on the Price is Right.

Anonymous said...

This house is B O R I N G. An utterly banal pile of white and beige, warmed-over Spanish hacienda that has cured me of any class envy. I find it shocking that a $3,000,000 house can leave me so unmoved.

outsmoker said...

A "twofer" sale........who would spend that kind of money on either of them?

Closetsmoker said...

I think it is a nice house but the area is way too hot in summertime.

angeleyes said...

I like some interior features of this home, but similiar to other houses presented this week, it's a bit too woodsy for my taste. As much as I love natural woodwork, I prefer that it not overpower other elements, or be the defining interior element. The facade is my least favorite feature. As Mama aluded to, it just dosen't measure up for a multimillion $ property.

Mama, my check for your electric bill is in the mail. As soon as it clears the bank, I'm gonna start raising HELL. Lol, j/k of course. Have a wunnerful weekend, and Thank You :)

Anonymous said...

i detoxed in tarzana and i never want to go back there!

Anonymous said...

Usually I try to find something to like about all Mama's finds.

There is nothing I can find with this one. Cold, un-inviting, and overpowering with all the hard surfaces and wood look.

All those hot in the summertime pavers in the front, 1980's tile in the kitchen and cheap wrought iron railings.

Needs $250k reno.

OK, something nice, the cabana would be nice to hang in at sunset.

major label artist said...

See what happens when your rugrat piece of shit kids continue with the illegal downloading ????????????

The matrix was once the all powerful production team in LA and now they are going broke fast because of those fucking kids that think they should get music for free

Thank god I am an artist and I can still make money with my shows otherwise I would be on beggars row

being a music producer these days is a losing proposition,

signed a major label artist

Anonymous said...

Respectfully major label artist, if the cost for both CDs and concert tickets were appropriately priced, the problem you're encountering wouldn't exist. Most kids subsist on an allowance.. hello. Tne industry has priced itself into a hole like just about every other big business in the country did during the Bush era.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree. I am all for recording artists, producers and etc. making a living and profit. But cds are so expensive esp. considering the materials for a cd and case are like twelve cents.

And don't even talk about concerts and live music events for big name artists...that's a fucking joke.

$9.99 to download an entire album on itunes is tolerable to me.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a mid priced hotel in Santa Fe.... I live in NYC. Is tarzana the NY equivalent of Long island? Cause it looks like trash.

major label artist said...

Tarzana is for those that think they are rich and buy 10MM estates (that cost 2MM) and in 5 years time they find out they should have lived in 500k homes in hollywood

that about sums it up

in other words some of them in agoura hills, calabasas and tarzana are full of shit, financially and spirtually

major label artist said...

For what it is worth I still live in a 500k condo on sunset strip and although I could buy that hacienda in tarzana who the fuck wants to live in tarzana ?????????? even at a million dollar price tag ?????

Anonymous said...

Maybe my retinas are just permanently scarred from Deion Sanders Texas nightmare, but this looks pretty nice to me. Granted, you'd have to airlift it out of Tarzana and drop it someplace like Bu, but the colors are harmonious, it's not a beige bore and the pieces appear properly scaled. It just looks comfy and unpretentious to me.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow Mama.

Alessandra said...

Bland and unexceptional. It has many of the elements of a hacienda and none of the charm; kind of like Tarzana itself.

Anonymous said...

This real estate story is a repeat of umpteen others Mama has produced, and I continue to be perplexed by the decisions of these people. They buy one substantial house, then the one next door (for what purpose we can only speculate), then before attempting to unload them, they buy yet another house in what apparently is not a terribly desirable area (less desirable even than where they presently live). I mean what the heck are these people doing?

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Enjoyed finding your blog...I will be back to read more.

I am still new to the land of blog, but so loving reading others stories.
Hope you will stop by for a visit.
The May give-away has started and this month there will be 10 winners. I will be blogging from Disney World soon...

Anonymous said...

8:35 - Invest in better writing classes. It's still obvious who you are.

Not Madonna said...


yeah right. if you're a major label artist living in a 500,000 whatever in hollywood, you wouldn't be bugging us all here. get off the internet and go write yourself a hit or two, then we can all read about your multi million dollar purchases and laugh about your decor on here.

major label artist said...

I never said I was madonna

and yes I am a major label artist, there are many of us out there, we do not live in platial estates esp these days, esp when records do not sell, esp when we are in debt to our label for a million or two, that is why we live in 500k condos, we wait for the big one, that is now never coming,

Anonymous said...

He's not a major label artist. Or any of the other careers he's claimed to have had over the past couple of years - young rapper, banker, advertising executive, business manager...didn't he even try saying he was a spoiled rich kid?

The only constant is the writing style. We all know who it is, he's just trying on a new "personality".

Anonymous said...

Dear "MLA"-- face it --it seems that from your 8:11 post that if you ever actually were a MLA, you are not one now. Give it up and move back to Dayton, or find an faded movie star to support you-- or you're gonna die in a swimming pool.

avg joe :{} said...


that was not me

btw are you the same loser anon who is mad at me because I prevented you from getting a 750k bank loan, it was not my fault, you should not spout your personal business on blogs, whatever is said on here ends up all over the internet

just sayin HA HA HA


Anonymous said...

Sure Joe, We're all hanging on your every word. NOT.

Now you claim you were able to prevent someone from getting a loan when you didn't even know their name? That is scary delusional.

Remember when you told us how you can't admit to anyone you encounter in person about the stuff you post on the internet? That was the only thing you've ever written that was believable.

Anonymous said...

Read as: "artist on a major label".Big difference

avg joe :{} 's daddy said...

sorry people.

the farmer told me that donkey was sterile.

avg joe :{} 's ex-wife said...

it's ok poppa joe

i didnt know i would get the flu from that swine i was married to

Anonymous said...

Love the exterior of the house, but I'm still on the fence about the interior...