Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday Afternoon Mish Mash

It's been ages since Your Mama has done the celebrity real estate mish mash and we have a number of tidbits and treats that we need to clear out of our bulging inbox and over flowing voicemail, so here goes:

Looks like back in the saddle Britney Spears is getting eager to sell her house up in the guard gated Summit community above Beverly Hills. Miss Spears, who is somewhat surprisingly riding the top of the charts once again with her new album Circus, has listed her current crib more times than Your Mama can count, but it was most recently listed in September of 2008 at $7,900,000.

A spin through the MLS now shows Miss Spears (or more correctly, her daddy/conservator Jamie Spears who reportedly handles all her financial matters) has slashed the asking price of her 6 bedroom and 6.5 bathroom "Italian Renaissance Villa" to $7,195,000, a price that listing information states includes, "select furnishings, accessories & art work." Would anyone actually want Miss Spears' sofas and chairs?

It's certainly no surprise that the formerly batty Brit Brit would want to unload this place. Not only is it the house to which she fled in the highly charged emotional aftermath of her rather unseemly uncoupling from wannabe rapper Kevin Federline, it's also the scene of some of her more mentally unhinged moments, like that sordid and sad day she locked herself in the bathroom with one of her babies and was later forcibly removed and admitted to the psych ward at the UCLA Medical Center.

Anyhoo, it's long been rumored and reported that the pop star wants to move to a gated community in the suburban Calabasas area in order to be nearer to where her two pop-tots live in Tarzana with their daddy Mister Federline.

Your Mama thinks Miss Spears might consider taking the altruistic real estate route and buy that damn house in the guard gated Hidden Hills community that poor Denise Richards' ladee can't seem to sell if her life depended on it. Just a thought.

Speaking of houses in The Summit...Will Ed McMahon's troubles ever end? It's been quite some time since Your Mama has heard hide or hair about the octogenarian's well publicized battle too keep his Bev Hills house from slipping into the uglee-bizness of foreclosure.

And just when we started to think perhaps the Johnny Carson sidekick managed to straighten out his abysmal finances, we get word from gossip juggernaut TMZ that a process server who recently showed up on Mister McMahons doorstep to serve him some legal papers was attacked by the McMahon's pet poodle.

Oh dear.

We're certainly not the first to discuss this and it's certainly no surprise since it was announced as part of their acrimonious dee-vorce proceedings, but liquor luvvin' actor/tee-vee talent show judge David Hasselhoff–who is also, bizarrely, a big pop star in Germany–and his ex-wifey Pamela Bach have just officially listed their house of marital horrors in Encino, CA with an asking price of $5,950,000.

Prop records show that The Hoff and his Missus paid $1,980,000 to purchase the 1.4+ acre property in 1996 from big bodied actor John Goodman. Although property records show the big white Colonial style mansion measures 6,148 square feet, listing information provided to Your Mama by a ladee we'll call Shanda Leer shows it sprawls across 9,770 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms including a master suite with a fireplace and dual bathrooms. Other interior amenities include all the expected formal living and dining rooms, 5 fireplaces, a gore-may kitchen, office, gym, library, media room, and a sports bar (pleeze).

Listing information also reveals the flag lot property located in one of Encino's nicest 'hoods is accessed down a long gated drive terminating in a large motor court. The listing describes the back yard as "resort-like" with a grotto swimming pool, spa and waterfall (how very Hef of The Hoff), a lighted tennis court, rolling lawns, and not just one, but two guesthouses.

All that and The Hoff's boozy juju for $5,950,000? No thanks.

3. Big Time Beverly Hills builder John Bersci has some serious ants in his real estate pants. The prolific developer of prodigiously priced property in the Platinum Triangle of Beverly Hills, Bel Air and the Holmby Hills officially listed his own historic estate tucked away on Bev Hills' Benedict Canyon Drive in September of 2008 with an asking price of $11,495,000.

Your Mama noted this morning that the price for the 7 bedroom and 7 bathroom estate, which is commonly referred to as The Harvey Mudd Estate, has been sliced and diced all the way down to $8,995,000. A few flicks of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus tells Your Mama that amounts to a gasp producing 22% price reduction.

Of course, until someone in the know whispers in Your Mama's big ol' ear, we has no way of knowing if this gigantic karate chop to the asking price is because Mister Bersci is trying to scare up some cash, if it's just a reflection of a sagging in the high end market or if it has to do with that ridiculously humongous middle finger of a house that former and fallen Hollywood titan Mike Ovitz is building next door. Whatever the reason(s), it's crystal clear to anyone with eyeballs that Mister Bersci wants to get rid of this house. And fast.

Earlier in the week Your Mama discussed the Hill Country (TX) hideaway that bicycling bigwig Lance Armstrong foisted on the market last year with a blistering asking price of $12,000,000. In our discussion we noted that the scandalously rich pedal pusher also owns homes in Austin, TX as well as a Bahamian getaway. However, we failed to mention–because we did not know at the time–that according to reports, Mister Armstrong recently scooped up a newly completed mansion in Aspen, the swank little ski resort in Colorado where a person can't swing a cat without knocking over 12 celebrities and/or billionaire biznessmen.

The Faded Youth reports the $9,000,000, three story sprawler includes 5 bedrooms and 5 full and 2 half bathrooms including a top floor devoted to a master suite and private den/study. The green shingled house is said to have multiple fireplaces, a hot tub/spa, and patios and decks with views of the craggy and insanely beautiful Rocky Mountains.

Some blogs and gossip rags are rumoring and reporting that bodacious booty-ed Jennifer Lopez and her skeletal skinny huz-man Marc Anthony are headed towards the court of celebrity dee-vorce. Well children, Your Mama don't know nuthin' about that bizness, but we did recently hear from a Puerto Rican pal we'll call Dolores Del Taco who hooked us over to a recent report in the Spanish language newspaper El Nuevo Día that claims the couple spent the holee-days down in sexy San Juan where they've recently purchased two penthouse condos in Condado–which for those who do not know, is one of San Juan's swankiest areas. According to the report, which Your Mama translated with an assist by the bi-lingual Dr. Cooter, the Puerto Rican superstars coughed up around $11,000,000 for the two ocean view units which they are planning on combining into one giant celebrity-sized island getaway.

We shall see children.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

mama can you get the scoop for us kids on why the house that sold from dawn parouse to mark peel less than a year ago, is back on the market. And for those of us, outside of L.A. can you explain
how the price can go up in this market.

Anonymous said...

I thought Trump paid off McMahon's bills. What happened?

Also, any pics on Armstrong's new biker crib in Aspen? And Encino Man's (David Hasselhoff) house?

Mike Cook said...

Lance's Aspen chalet is the one with the port-o-potty parked out front on 'faded youth'.

While a bit baronial for my taste, that Harvey Mudd Estate is gorgeous.

Anonymous said...

John Bersci is not in trouble by any means. The simple fact is that the house was never worth $11m plus. Simple demand and supply. Now with all the muppets deciding it is not the best to snap homes up at ANY price hoping that it will go higher relise that this trashy house (I really want to put a match to it) is worth $6m. Not the listing of $9m.

Anonymous said...

brit brit + denise's place = perfection!

well matched, mama!

Anonymous said...

Bersci's loaded. He's been in the game a long time and is probably just a step ahead of the market. He realizes it's time to sell, and he has so many other properties coming on the market this one is ready to sell - and he's ready to move on to the next project.

Anonymous said...

LOL, LOL, Shanda Leer....Delores Del Taco....(Pink Taco's older sistah)...

I just sprayed Fig Newton and diet 7-up all over my key board.....

Anonymous said...

I really like Denise's house. Especially the bathroom and the room that has the 4 huge chairs in a circle.

Anonymous said...

"Bersci's loaded. He's been in the game a long time and is probably just a step ahead of the market."
IN THESE INTERESTING TIMES, DON'T JUST BELIEVE WHAT YOU ARE TOLD. Madoff was "loaded" also too bad for all his clients, it was all smoke and mirrors. when you have a few million to play with, you can make it look like much more, 10million can be used to make it look like on has 100million... leased planes, ect.. but `10million does nothing to stop 100million in DEBT... best to question everything these days

Anonymous said...

Bersci's borrowed too much and his debt to equity ration is way high. He's caught out I heard.

The game is over for alot of guys in the "add fresh paint and fancy furniture and flicking" property game!

Anonymous said...

WEll, I definetly would not say Berscis is an "add fresh paint" kinda of guy, he has built some beautiful homes and he is extremly talented, its ashame that the world loves to come down on "speculators" right now, if not for speculators ,builders, ect.. who is going to provide these homes??and most important, I was not stupid enough to say, that Mr. Bersci was in trouble and I would not even pass on such "gossip" as thats exactly what jealous people who sit on the sidelines all the time always do, they never make a move, buy a house, invest in stock, but just wait till times like these to shout loud and clear... SEEE, SEE, SEE i told you... all i was doing was saying go with caution, do not believe all you see.

organizedblogroll said...

Leave "first" for sites like TMZ,

Anonymous said...

organizedblogroll, I had the same thought but I didn't acknowledge because I thought it might encourage it.

Anonymous said...

Suze Orman!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Lovely MishMash!

$11m for a place in Puerto Rico? They're even being ripped off in their home country but if this is what it takes to be "real" I'm sure they think it's worth it. They must be the most annoying celebrity couple of the moment.

Anonymous said...

Condado Beach???

Anonymous said...

I just love these mish-mashes Mama, and I rolled all over the floor when I read "pop-tots" - hilarious!

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Bersci's place is overpriced and not very nice! Quite dingy if you ask me. Also, mama made a good point that it will be in the shadow of the new Ovitz home once the FOREVER construction ceases.

nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nick said...

okay, first: Puerto Rico (my heart's devotion, let it sink back in the o...) isn't a country and Jello "in't froam dare", as we say in in the Heights called Washington. Condado is just about the Y-O-Ugliest place you could live on the entire isla, but perhaps perfect for a celeb spa where Mr. Anthony shares his diet secrets while the Misses does your nails - ¡qué escándalo!