Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Caprice Bourret's Natty Notting Hill House

SELLER: Caprice Bourret
LOCATION: Notting Hill, London
PRICE: £7,500,000
SIZE: 4,530 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A beautifully presented semi-detached, five bedroom Victorian stucco fronted family house occupying approximately 4,530 sq ft over four floors only, with the advantage of a south-facing garden and off-street parking for at least two cars. This unusually wide house has been substantially rebuilt and now offers fabulous entertaining space, including a largely open-plan ground floor and a swimming pool on the lower ground floor.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Some of the children will know Miss Caprice Bourret for being a gorgeous gal about London who hobnobs with all manner of rich and famous folks. Others will remember her as the Wonderbra mo-dell who went on to produce her own line of ladees lingerie called, not surprisingly, Caprice. Still others will remember when Miss Bourret bared her eternally perky palookas in the pages of Playboy back in 2000. But Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter know this US born and London-based ex-pat from her d-list star turn on the always embarrassing and highly entertaining Surreal Life reality program during which Miss Bourret sweet talked publicity hungry power slugger Jose Canseco to put on a pair of itty bitty ladees underwear. Do any of the children remember that spectacular piece of near pornographic boob-toob deelishushness?

Anyhoo, Your Mama recently heard from our jet setting tipster with the distinguished Greek surname that Miss Boo-ray has recently put her lovely London townhouse in the natty Notting Hill area on the market with an asking price of £7,500,000. A quick flick of the trusty beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus tells us that asking price converts to $13,478,475 at today's rates. Now listen children, Your Mama can not with 100% certainty say this fine four floor townhouse belongs to Miss Boo-ray, so remember that when you go gossiping about this to your pals.

According to listing information the 5 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom Victorian era house has been extensively and beautifully remodeled. Clearly much if not all of the ornate detailing that would have been present in this house when it was built has been stripped away and replaced with a crisp and clean lined house with nary a molding in sight and only the simplest of baseboards.

While we're certain some of the architectural purists out there will scream and yell about how the innards of this house have been raped and ruined, but Your Mama isn't going there. Of course we believe in architectural preservation as much as the next real estate nut job, but that does not mean we aren't also appreciative of contemporary spaces fitted gracefully into historical shells.

Your Mama is particularly drawn to the well resolved and open plan layout on the ground floor and we pleased and punch that the smart and clever architect pushed the sleek and sexy kitchen and the breakfast room booth (yes, children, that is a booth) to the rear of the residence where it not only offers easy egress to the petite but dee-voonly serene rear garden, but also so that residents and guests will not be forced to stare at a sink full of post dinner party dishes as they sip and expensive digestif in the drawing room.

As for the day-core, well quite frankly we find it to be bold, daring and over all, very well done. Do we care for every swatch of fabric or every stick of furniture? Well no, of course not. In fact that black lacquer cabinet on the rear wall of the drawing room looks like it came out of some Eastern European hotel circa 1982 and we're positive there is a better entertainment cabinet/storage solution out there. We know we'll take considerable heat for this, but we're swooning over the suite of ten orange dining room chairs which practically vibrate with happiness in an otherwise nearly colorless room. We do not, however, care for the cock-eyed placement of the table, an all too common decorating misdemeanor Your Mama would be happy to see stricken from the interior decorating play books.

The second floor master suite offers a large enough bedroom space in which to get away when there are house guests and children roaming around and the tiny terrace is the perfect spot for swinging in the humongous hammock taking care not to fall out and down into the rear garden one floor below or through the long kitchen sky light because that would be a bummer. While Your Mama is quite keen on the layout of the dressing room and master bathroom which is perfectly anchored by a large soaking tub and a magnificent mirrored wall, we are by no means an exhibitionist so the floor to ceiling windows that look out towards the street are a concern.

The top floor features four modestly sized family bedrooms, one with a private pooper and a second bathroom that is shared by the three other bedrooms. The lower ground floor, a space that in the U-nited States is called the basement, includes a windowless room currently used as a music studio and a home gym area adjacent to the small indoor swimming pool. Your Mama is perpetually soo-prised how many swimming pools there are in the basements of of swanky London houses. We can only hope the pool water is kept bacteria free using ultra-violet light or that entire space would just reek to high heaven of chlorine.

The children will note that on the back wall of the swimming pool area is a large screen for viewing films. We can't say that we'd like to scootch down into a bean bag next to some sort of exercise torture machine and watch a movie, but we're sure those circumstances would not bother everyone.

We understand, but can not confirm, that Miss Bourret also maintains a house in South Africa, a country home in Gloucestershire as well a number of properties in the United States. Say what you will about this pretty face, but she's very successfully parlayed her Barbie doll good looks and perfectly round mammaries into a multi-million dollar empire that would make most entrepreneurs weep with envy.


Anonymous said...

I love it! A great, not too big/not too small, semi in Notting Hill. I especially like the kitchen and the gym. Fabulous place.

lil' gay boy said...

Lovely, welcoming, and not naturally blonde at all…

Anonymous said...

Hi Mama,

You can say with 100% certainty that it's Caprice's place because it is!

I knew I recognised it from somewhere. Keep up the good work and I hope your move worked out OK for you and Dr C and the long bodied bitches. XX