Monday, May 26, 2008

Did Brad and Angie Finally Do It In France?

Peripatetic movie stars and global do-gooders Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, currently shacked up in billionaire Paul Allen's Villa Maryland in St. Jean Cap-Ferrat awaiting the arrival of twins, are rumored and reported by London's Daily Mail to have forked over a whopping £35,000,000 for a vast estate in the South of France where they're planning to raise their ever expanding multi-cultural brood.

Hmm. Really? This certainly isn't the first time it's been "reported" that the real estate luvin' super stars have purchased a French estate. Remember back in mid-March when everyone reported that the couple bought that 15th century farmhouse in Eygalieres? Yeah, guess that didn't happen.

According to all the articles being rushed out by breathless bloggers and real estate gossips around the world, the 1,000 acre estate located near Aix en Provence is dubbed Chateau Miraval and has an paparazzi unfriendly driveway that is three miles long.

Apparently Chateau Miraval was not actually for sale. According to the Daily Mail the couple landedon the property in a rented helicopter–unannounced–and requested the owners name their price. Oh pleeze. Your Mama doesn't believe that for a minute. Who does that kind of freaky shit? Who flies around in a rented whirligig, lands uninvited and unexpected on random front lawns and demands the owners sell them their property? No one, that's who. And if anyone does in fact do that, they ought to be ashamed of their entitled and sorry selves.

Anyhoo, according to all the reports and information Your Mama located about the property, the estate includes a swimming pool, a terraced olive grove with 13 varieties of the pitted fruit, and a stream that flows through hidden tunnels into a moat and fills a small private lake. The Daily Mail pee-pole report that the chateau includes 35 bedrooms. However, later in the very same damn article, The Daily Mail also states that there are 25 bedrooms. Information we found about the property (via our research diva B.S. Beaverman) indicates there are 10 bedrooms spread through three houses.

Interestingly, none of the reports we read say anything about the recording studio on the property where The Cure recorded portions of their 1987 hit record Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me, which was, as the children might imagine, in the mix of Your Mama's angst fueled soundtrack back in the late 1980s.

Listen puppies, we know these criminally good looking and preggers parents of 4 (soon to be six) are rich by most people's standards and they make boo-coo bucks when they work, but are they really so deep in dollars and dimes they can afford to fork over seventy million smackers for a 1,000 acre estate in France? According to Your Mama's bejeweled abacus, the reported price converts to $69,307,000, which is a lot of damn money for these two jet setters who already have at least seven other properties to pay for and maintain.

There is the ocean front estate in Malee-boo, another ocean front hideaway north of Santa Barbara that Mister Jolie bought shortly before he and Jennifer Aniston went splitsville, they bought a big house in The Big Easy (that's New Orleans, kids) shortly after Hurricane Katrina, Miz Pitt owns a crib in Cambodian crib, and Mister Jolie's has long owned a compound in Los Angeles' Los Feliz neighborhood. It's also said there's a big ass apartment in Berlin they reportedly purchased last year and Miz Pitt has owned a place in England's Buchinghamshire for quite some time. (Your Mama seems to recall she sold this place. Anyone?) Given that rather long list of private residences, let's be honest, these two need another house to drag their children around to about as much as Paris Hilton needs another pap stuck to her heiress ass.

Your Mama, celebrity real estate cynic that we are, does not intend to believe that the couple actually bought this place in France until Mister Jolie or Miz Pitt confirm the purchase to that nutty Nancy O'Dell on Access Hollywood. Until then it's just unsubstantiated gossip and rumor.

Now go and enjoy the few hours left of this Memorial Day weekend.


Anonymous said...

You're right Mama, I really have my doubts about that purchase.

It's an OK villa...but it doesn't have much of a view.

Anonymous said...

that's huge. they only have 4 (going on six) kids. small, little young kids. do you really need all that space?! but i agree with Mama, and viva! it could be just rumors, and i won't believe that purchase till it's confirmed.

Alessandra said...

You're most likely right, Mama. $70mm is a whopping price tag for someone's fifth residence, especially if one isn't a billionaire.

I'm trying to care about Brad and Angelina, but I just...don't. If they stay together for another twenty years, I'll revisit my opinions of them, but otherwise, they bore me.

Anonymous said...

The price is way to high for Provence & the fact that it's the Daily Mail just makes it more unbelievable - They landed uninvited in a Helicopter after seeing it from the air? Oh Please!

And is Brad even that rich? When he was with Jen Aniston she was the wealthier one in the marriage & I doubt Angelina makes that much, she tends to star in the smaller films rather than the $20M blockbusters - & even if you earn $20M a film, once a percentage goes to the agent, manager, lawyers then the remainder to the taxman, assistants, drivers, 24/7 security, nannies, mortages etc etc.. you're left with not that much!

Anonymous said...

Brad had and has more money than Jen, don't know why you think otherwise. But this is a hoax, just like all the other false stories of home purchases in France. It's from the UK tab Daily Mail which is always 100% lies.

StPaulSnowman said...

Whoever dreamed up this dilly undoubtedly saw the same biopic I did about Josephine Baker raising her multiethnic band of gamins in a chateau in France. it will be a Schloss im Gebirge and they will all be singing in Lederhosen.

Anonymous said...

wif a 1000 acres Brad will have losts of places to sneek off and smoke cigarettes and look cool. he should be proud and not sneek around.

Anonymous said...

"Brad had and has more money than Jen, don't know why you think otherwise"

Uh, 2 totally different T.V documentaries [Not the crappy MTV type by the way] ... I am talking the days of Friends & huge endorsement deals - may be different now - though she still makes a fortune from residuals, he doesn't. I don't really care anyway.

lil' gay boy said...

Rumor has it Judge Crater is on the grounds.


Anonymous said...

probably a rental to get through the next baby

Anonymous said...

A working vineyards. Oh my.

Parker said...

I'm with alessandra on this one, on all counts.

Anonymous said...

This place is NOT on the Riviera, its miles inland. and far from Nice and Cap Ferrat where they are currently shacked up. Hmmmmm........ a recording studio and award winning organic wines from the vinyards. It sounds like paradise, but I do wonder.

Anonymous said...

sandylicious, my one, my love, my only ree

Anonymous said...

The most common estimate I can find for Brad Pitt's net worth is $150 million. Although I'm sure my memory is at fault, I thought there had been some mention of Brad Pitt being worth $250 million - perhaps that was him and Aniston together at the time of his divorce - and Angelina Jolie being worth $150 million. That seems extremely high for her, so I doubt it's true, especially since she reportedly gives away a third of her income every year.

However, my point is that even if you take the most extreme of all those figures, they still don't add up to a couple who would normally be spending $70 million on a home. The proportion is just not there.

And I seriously doubt the income from that vineyard is enough to make up the difference, either. Something definitely not right here. The most plausible suggestion, I think, is that they would rent this place to have the baby and for a little while after.

Anonymous said...

Mama I dare you to post more than one story in a 24 hr period.

Come on this blog has been so half assed lately. I have been reading this blog for about 2 years now and the last month or so your efforts seem to have gone for shit.

Half the stories are old news once you post them.

I guess you are getting too busy for your little blog.

StPaulSnowman said...

You might as well be asking Mama for a second helping of dessert. She does what she does when she does it. She asks for nothing and gives much. She puts her own chance to be a media star at risk by spending time with the kids. Deal with it! She is, no doubt, amused by your transparent, chilunlike dare.

Anonymous said...

Freaky shit huh? With these two anything is possible!

Someone said Jollie is "bat shit crazy", so maybe they are buzzing around the French countryside in a jet ranger yelling out offers.

If you added up their 5 other properties, how much down payment would that be if they flipped them all? Not enough? They better hurry, the euro is going up.

Also, I think the property is WAY to stately and formal for a couple with very young rug-rats. The house looks like a abby or monastery, not a place to call home with kids.

However, there is lots of room down the road for Brad's motor track that he demands. More money to spend(waste)!

Looks like they have 5 very long entrances(escapes) on this property. This place is private.

Location in Google/Google Earth -
43.473549, 6.036457

Anonymous said...

anon 8:53, it's not Mama's fault that the housing market is currently floating in the toilet resulting in a decided downturn of celebrity real estate ventures to report on.

Those who can, do (like Mama).

Those who can't, criticize (like you).

Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

is anyone else sick of these two? they are so full of themselves.

Anonymous said...

confirmed perhaps? according to us weekly, they have signed a three year lease for a house about 70 mil on the the riviera. hmm.

Anonymous said...

Yahoo! Entertainment is reporting the couple's outright $30 Million of the French property, together with various maternity related details:

Anonymous said...

OOPS! This is Anon 5:11 pm. I meant to write that Yahoo! Entertainment is reporting the couple's outright $70 Million purchase of the French property, together with various maternity related details:

Mama, please delete my earlier post. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

People, Us and other sources are reporting that they leased this place for 3 years as was reported by French news. This makes sense as Brad's worth is est $150-160 million (he has his Plan B production company) and Angelina worth est $50 million. No way would they want to extend themselves for a purchase like this with 6 little kids to take care of.

Anonymous said...

UPDATE: It is now being reported that Brangelina have leased this property for a three year period. They did not purchase it.

Anonymous said...

For $345,232,657,905,954.23 the famed jet-setter couple described the estate as "an absolute

The plush estate comes complete with stables, olive groves, black hole, silver mine, unicorn,
magic wand shop, rocket ship, silver cloud lining factory and moat filled with Pixar goldfish. The
property also includes an Emelda Marcos shoe factory cobbling away 25 hours a day making shoes for
the ever-growing brood. And a NOLA refugee camp which was strangely empty. Final touches include
adding the Eiffle Tower and Nigara Falls later this fall.

The couple has been repeatedly dogged by questions regarding their obscenely large entourage,
which has ballooned to more than 307 assistants, nannies, lawyers, jugglers, dancing bears, the
cast of Real World 7, and Ted Nugent. When asked why they need their own proctologist traveling
with them 24/7, Pitt replied, "What, come on, is that a real question?"

Angelina was unavailable for comment as she was negotiating the purchase of Monaco, 1987, 2014,
the color Sea-Green and the IP Rights to FUN. While piloting her Gulfstream Jet, she had a tattoo
of Tattoo from Fantasy Island inked on her thigh and solved the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle,
penning a 7-letter word down for bitter, starting with the letter A. (Aniston).
Later she cured African hunger by adopting 87% of the population. She also learned Portugese.

Brad said, "Look, Ocean's 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 18, 21 made me stinkin' rich like a muther
f--ker...what, are we supposed to be humble and pretend it's not the gig. La Chateau Bradveaux Le
Jolie is our quiet response to middle class moderation and pathetic restraint. Recession? Kiss my
ass. Real estate crunch?,...I say 'olive groves and a god d---- moat with Nemo.' We're not
apologizing for outspending Rhode Island. We're just two crazy kids who bought France. You can
print that."

Pitt added, "Hey man, write that I said all of this in french. Yeah, that's le cool."

Anonymous said...

It is said that he is dumb as a brick......even though he likes architecture.

Anonymous said...

Hope they don't change the classy Château Miraval estate wine labels or anything else!

I don't want to see "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider Syrah" or "Mr. & Mrs. Smith House Red" labels!

The award winning wine is probably history anyway. The bike track is most likely going to replace it, since they need flat land for it.

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