Monday, April 28, 2008

UPDATE: Michael Jackson

Let Your Mama offer a word to the real estate wise: Get on the horn right away to the Biltmore or the Bacara iffin you want to be standing in the front row of the scheduled and fast approaching May 14 foreclosure auction of (literally) fading pop icon Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. Fox 411 gossip columnist Roger Friedman recently reported that a few big bucks bidders are already circling with their cashier's checks in hand and Your Mama thinks that hotel rooms–good hotel rooms– may be difficult to come by.

Expect a media madhouse on the steps of the Santa Barbara County Courthouse when the tattered, torn and tossed aside 2,900 acre ranch is sold to the highest bidder and Mister Jackson's sad and embarrassing Santa Ynez Valley real estate woes come to their tawdry and inevitable end.

Interested parties are said to include "some form of the original loan holder Fortress Investments" as well as a Virginia based mortgage company who was approached earlier this year by now nixed Jackson manager/mouth piece Raymone Bain.

Meanwhile, where's Mister Jackson?

Sad. Sad. Sad. As Your Mama's good pal Virginia Slim says, "This can only end in tears." But at least it will end children, at least it will end.


Anonymous said...

Where is mister jackson you ask? Why, she is in the powder room applying her makeup. Where else would she be? After which, of course, she will hit the town in search of more young victims. Poor ms. jackson... such a tragic waste of talent.

Anonymous said...

His oblivion and lack of vim make it hard for me to feel anything but pity for that poor man-child.

I have a feeling there have already been plenty of tears, tantrums and breathy pleadings around this. Enough already.

Anonymous said...

It is sad Mama. Thanks for the update. I'm not entirely sure Michael is a predator in the truest sense of the word since it appears he's on an emotional par with his victims, and narcisstic to an extreme degree. I'm inclined to fault the parenting he received, or lack thereof - a good lesson for overly ambitious show business parents.

Alessandra said...

I can't even imagine the stress of having the sword of Damocles threatening foreclosure hanging ever closer to my neck. In that regard, I feel bad for Mr. Jackson.

In the sense that the entire sordid tale has gone on too long and resolution is beyond essential, I eagerly await the 14th of May. My guess is that Neverland will fetch a good price, and I will speculate that either a vintner or luxury resort/spa owner snaps it up.

Anonymous said...

The person or group that buys it should open it for tours. I heard that it was being auctioned with all the contents meaning that they could create a Michael Jackson museum and you know that you could get a bunch of crazy people to go there! Then, after a couple of years when attendance dies down, close up shop, sell all the memorabilia for a shit load of money and throw that bitch on the market and make a sweet profit.

Anonymous said...

Anyone care to predict the winning bid? Aside from the notoriety, this seems to be the very definition of a white elephant. Even if you figure a couple of million for the contents, which may be generous, what's the land value of those 2900 acres? I'm guessing $15 million.

I wonder how long until the Encino house hits the market?

Such an amazing talent gone to waste.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for this to be over with!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

4:37 - Here are some other properties for sale in the area.

19.75m - Magnificent Country-French Chateau Set On Apx 68 Acres. 19th Century Authenticity In A Modern 21st Century Home. Built in 1998.

16.9m - 2bed/2bath on 120 acres.

13.9. - "ranch estate" on 350 acres built in 1992.

This doesn't take into account how much of the 2900 acres could be built on or subdivided. What the costs of removal of the amusement park/zoo and and enviromental issues with that, etc....

My guess is between 20 and 30 million. And Fortress themselves may be the winning bidder.