Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Chris O'Donnell: Super Hero and Family Man

SELLER: Chris O'Donnell
LOCATION: Ocampo Drive, Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $5,395,000
SIZE: 5,191 square foot (as per assessor), 5 bedrooms, 6 bedrooms
DESCRIPTION: Huntington Palisades traditional in prime location, built in 2000. Center hall floor plan opens to great kitchen/family room facing grassy backyard with pool. Paneled library off living room, Five bedrooms, four baths and family room up. Maids with bath and separate entry on lower level.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Some might say that Chris O'Donnell has the handsome puss of a Hollywood heart throb and the blistering hot bah-dee of a homosex porn star, but make no mistake children, the squeaky clean actor is a family man who goes home each night to his wife Caroline and their five children in pretty Pacific Palisades. That's right, five! Which pretty much makes his school teacher wifey of ten years a virtual baby factory. Missus O'Donnell must love being preggers, and we're sure the O'Donnells are exemplary parents, but for the sake of an ever growing world population and always decreasing resources, please, Your Mama begs of you people, tie up them tubes of yours.

Anyhoo, in the early 1990s, after making movies like Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, and Cookie's Fortune, the blue-eyed Boy Wonder started taking recurring television roles on programs such as The Practice, Head Cases and recently, Mister O'Donnell was seen as Dr. Dandridge on the very popular Grey's Anatomy, a hospital drama that Your Mama refuses to watch because, well, we don't care for hospital dramas even if the cast is exceptionally good looking.

Property records show that Mister O'Donnell purchased his Pacific Palisades property in August of 2000 for $2,950,000, and listing information reveals that the house was built in 2000. That would indicate to Your Mama that Mister and Missus O'Donnell purchased the 5 bedroom and 6 bathroom mini-mansion to would accommodate their already growing brood.

Real estate size queens who need 10,000 square feet to live comfortably won't agree, but the O'Donnell's 5,191 square foot residence is large by all reasonable standards. However, it may not feel large if you're a clan of seven full time residents, not to mention the necessary nannies and diaper washers that have to be brought in to assist in raising up, bathing and feeding five Tinseltown tots. Lawhd, with this many children, the O'Donnells prolly need a full time minimum wage gurl who does nothing but pick up, catalog, and put away all the damn toys. Which may be why Your Mama received an electronic missive from the always on top of it Riley Realtor that the O'Donnells have decided to pack their cribs, car seats and disciplinary shillelaghs and quietly put their house on the market with a $5,395,000 asking price.

Listing information for the traditional style house with its vaguely center hall colonial façade indicates that in addition to the five family bedrooms, there are formal living and dining rooms, a paneled study/library, two family rooms (one up and one down), a kitchen equipped to turn out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at an alarming rate, and a separate maids room with bath and a separate entrance which Your Mama is certain the live in gurl appreciates when she wants to sneak her horny boyfriend into the house late in the night.

Out back there is a smallish swimming pool and a smallish grassy yard, which would be fine if the O'Donnells had just one or two children. But they don't. So we imagine they are out looking for a new nest that will allow their kids to really stretch their legs and exercise their lungs without causing the neighbors to have a nervous break down from all the shouting and screaming in which five children surely engage.

Currently, listing information does not include interior photographs. We assume that is because the industrial cleaners have not yet been to the property to wipe the floor clean of all the baby vomit and wash down the crayon covered walls. We suspect it will also take the toy gurl at least a few days to pack up and send all the toys to a super-sized storage unit.

We don't know how far the O'Donnell's housing budget will stretch, but, there is a gracious and very private Paul Williams style colonial over on Maroney Lane in the Pac Pal priced at $10,500,000 that just might be perfect for their large family: 7,122 square feet, eight bedrooms, six bathrooms, huge pool and grassy areas, a shaded koi pond, and some sort of an orchard all on 1.5 private acres where the children could scream their little heads off without even disturbing the dead. Seriously, check it out.


Alessandra said...

It must be the deficit of caffeine, but I can find nothing to snark about here. I do share Mama's aversion to Grey's Anatomy, mainly because any show that has a "Dr. McDreamy" instead of a Patrick Dempsey is not for me.

Anyway, good for Chris O'Donnell, his wife and their pick-up basketball team. The Paul Williams house sounds perfect, if they can budget it. And you know, one can maintain a lovely home even with children running around (though the poor Persian rug in the living room may never be completely divested of cracker crumbs).

Anonymous said...

The Paul Williams estate is lovely. Well, the bones are lovely. The rooms all seem to have nice proportions. The furniture, wallpaper, etc... is ghastly.

It feels safe, all-American, bland. Kind of like Chris O'Donnell. He should buy it. Lots of room for the fleet of Volvo wagons, Suburbans and the vintage Electra wagon in the driveway, too.

There's a pub! Offensive style-wise, but wonderful get yer drink on-wise.

A bit too much open water for my taste with 5 kids ripping around, but that's nothing that can't be handled with fencing and a watchful eye.

Anonymous said...

I join the caffeine-deprived in agreeing the Paul Williams sounds like a good choice for an ever-growing brood (when does he have time to rehearse?)


"vintage Electra wagon" just about made me cry . . .

Anonymous said...

The Huntington Palisades might be the most Leave it to Beaver neighborhood in Los Angeles. I don't mean that as a criticism -- for people who want that sort of thing, it's like hitting the family-friendly jackpot.

My sole qualm with the Maroney house: I prefer not to have a super-duper property that's isolated in the center of later subdivision with much smaller lots and houses. It's a really unexceptional neighborhood for that kind of money. Which is a drag, because in the Riviera or Brentwood Park this place would be a no-brainer.

Anonymous said...

He purchased this property in May of 1996 for $816,000? That is one hell of a profit he is looking for. However, where did Your Mama get this purchase price from? I see that this property was purchased on June 16, 1999 for $2,950,029.

Your Mama said...


thanks for that check...one of my databases does indeed say 816k, but it SKIPS a purchase for some reason.

title checks show that you are correct!

We should have checked all our sources and databases, but we were in a hurry.


Anonymous said...

Mama, you are a class act - I love it when you give credit where credit is due.

Anonymous said...

I don't pretend to understand anything about L.A. real estate (actually there's little about anything I truly understand) but it seems to me that any time an L.A. realtor lists something verging on a colonial style it's described as "Paul Williams-inspired." Every white colonial mansion in L.A. seems to have been "Paul Williams-inspired." I don't get it.

And I'm solidly with Mama here; I don't get Grey's Anatomy. Actually, if I ever watched a show that dared to coin the phrase "McDreamy" I'd have to put a bullet in my own head. Patrick Dempsey is another thing I don't get. If he's "dreamy" than so am I and, trust me, I'm not.

Anonymous said...

Nice find on the Maroney Lane option Mama. PCH and Bentley make great points. It's been on the market for a while, so $10.5 might be a wish price -- comps-wise? PCH?

This young family may have reached critical mass in the current house. Little number five is brand new. Best to them.

Oh, and Scent of a Woman... He was perfectly cast with Pacino (my secret sweetie).

Anonymous said...

Hey EJ. I'd say Williams gets cited a lot because he's one of the rare architects to achieve boldface name recognition in a town that craves the by-association prestige of boldface names. But much of that ad copy is wishful thinking based on superficial similarities. What Williams did so well was to infuse traditional architectural styles with a subtle Deco glamour. You see it in the sleek sweep of his signature staircases, in his fixation with indirect lighting, in his elegant floor plans. A lot of these "Williams-inspired" houses don't even come close to his nuance and style.

My least favorite way to describe real estate is the ghastly and meaningless "emotional" that was so beloved of agents throughout the '90s.

Sandpiper, the Maroney house's big problem is that it's nowhere near a neighborhood where houses sell for $10.5 million. There are some pricey houses further up the hill on Shadow Mountain Drive, but I'd be really surprised if they were that pricey. So comps could be tricky. (If I'm wrong, someone please skool me on the subject.) Realistically speaking, it's smack in the middle of the least sexy part of Pacific Palisades. Almost everything in between the Village and Bel Air Bay Club/Castellammare is boring as hell. The house and the setting rock; but in the context of turning right on Bienveneda Avenue to go home, everything gets shaky.

Anonymous said...

"for the sake of an ever growing world population and always decreasing resources, please, Your Mama begs of you people, tie up them tubes of yours."

mama, i thank you seriously from the bottom my heart for pointing this out.

Anonymous said...

Nice points about the Moroney house, but I don't see Chris O'Donnell, with his wife and 5 kids, buying that house.

The Moroney house is gorgeous and is on a nice lot, but the house on the inside is OUTDATED. I could see a well-to-do architectural buff or Hollywood star buying the home and doing a full scale renovation on the Moroney house, especially on the inside.

But a well-moneyed Hollywood star with 5 kids running around the house? I think he would probably go for turn-key, NEW CONSTRUCTION.

And for some reason, at least according to the MLS, there are several new houses for sale in Pacific Palisades....most of which are of the East coast traditional style, and prices ranging from around $7 million to around $13 million.

On the MLS, there are 3 new houses in the Huntington Palisades, and 5 new houses in the Rivera.

Interestingly, one of the new houses, at 431 Alma Real, appears to have just gone into contract. 431 Alma Real is only a few houses away from the house that O'Donnell is selling. Hmmmm........

Anonymous said...

I totally agree w/ PCH on the Maroney's location being a major negative, and with mama on not watching Grey's...The Palisades are one of the LA neighborhoods that just always seems perpetually overpriced to me...so many of the houses that go for up to and over $10-million in PP (particularly in the Riviera) amaze me with how pedestrian and close to the street they are...I guess it must be that "Leave it to Beaver" novelty becomes appealing after a while in LA, but I never fail to be shocked anew by places going for high seven or low eight figures in the Palisades that look like they'd go for a half-million in a decent suburb in almost any other city...and don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to real estate priced that high, I love Palm Beach, the Hamptons, etc, and even understand the appeal and pricing of other "close to the street" neighborhoods like the birds, but generally for my $10-million or so I prefer a house that A) doesn't look like it's some lawyer's house in one of the more average neighborhoods in Short Hills, NJ or Villanova, PA and B) that doesn't allow for the Jehovah's wintesses and vacuum cleaner salesmen to take five short steps from the sidewalk to my fron t door...

Anonymous said...

He's catholic and one of 7 kids.

The only way they will stop having them is if she decides to cross her legs.

And if they can afford them, why not? At least we're not discussing some losers who have kids just to get the bump in the welfare check. Those are the ones who need their tubes tied so WE don't have to pay for their kids.

Anonymous said...

It's not about whether they can AFFORD the children, it's about the dismal affect over population has having on the world's resources...oil, food, lumber, etc.

Affordability has nothing to do with being able to grow enough food to feed people.

It's not PC crap either, it's reality...when food is in short supply will you be saying that it's okay for rich people to feast because they can afford it?

Anonymous said...

Yeah...I will be saying that...if I'm still around then which isn't likely given the average human lifespan.

Anonymous said...

That poor baby has gotten fat - again. It's celtic fat, so his head should look bigger than Ted Kennedy's pretty soon.

Anyway, this is an excellent time to upgrade homes and I wish him and that poor wife the best of luck.

Unknown said...

Dear Moma -
I believe the O'Donnells did a spread for InStyle a few years back. If memory serves, there were generous shots of the interior and is simply gorgeous.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't mind having a roll in the hay with him! No wonder they have so many kids. Good for them. He's adorable - if I was his wife I'd never be turning him down!

amy ferreira said...

From Amy F. That is a beautiful home. But wondering if u know the address of the house, not as a stalker, just wondering. I want to mail him a fan letter with a question inside, thats all. The address that I got is for the ncis los angeles place to write to the characters on the show.