Thursday, January 3, 2008

It's the Birds for Simon Fuller

BUYER: Simon Fuller
LOCATION: Tanager Way, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $7,650,000 (sale)
SIZE: 3,300 square feet (approx.), 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Soaring estate by Mark Schomisch Design perched on the most prestigious crest in the bird streets. Museum modern architecture with sweeping city lights and coastline views is a union of the sophisticated and sublime. Floor to ceiling glass walls create impressive volume and open to an expansive terrace with knife-edged infinity pool & spa. Remarkably private, the home boasts refined finishes, exotic wall coverings and state of the art Smart Home technology.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We're digging into our archives for this one children, so don't any of you bitchy brats be giving Your Mama no lip, sass or snotty email about how this purchase took place back in February of 2007. Don't you think we know that already?

Anyhoo, located high above Sunset Boulevard, this 3,300 square foot (approx.) slice of bird street bliss was given a big gay redo by Los Angeles based designer Mark Schomisch for a couple of Hollywood homosexuals with good jobs, fat paychecks and a penchant for animal skins, gold leaf and acres of black marble. The overhaul included freeing the exterior elevations from its previous life as a dated and shabby ranch house with killer views as well as reconfiguring, opening up and teaching the interior spaces to merge with the outdoor spaces.

Although we are inclined to swoon and moon over this house, don't fool your smart-alleck selves into thinking that Your Mama is in love with this interior decor lock, stock and barrel, because we're not. In fact we are quite sure we'd pee out pants from fright coming up on those statues flanking the fireplace in the darkened living room after a hard night of gin and tonics and reality television. We are naturally quite concerned the tufted sofa in the media room/library would knot our back up while watching a Project Runway marathon, and we'd most assuredly vomit out our intestines if we stepped bleary eyed out of our morning bed onto a fur rug like we see in the master bedroom. It is only Your Mama's humble and meaningless opinion, but whatever that piece of mink or fox or raccoon cost, it was too damn much.

We would never even hint at it to our lovely ladee therapist for fear of having to spend months parsing it's deeper meaning, but we are quite simply a sucker for a forbidding street facade like we see on Mister Fuller's Tanager Way house. We are also of the somewhat sound mind that the excessively manicured bushes have a charmingly quirky thing happening, and the pair of gold leaf screens, which not only provide decorative security, remind Your Mama of giant Oscar statuettes. Entering and exiting this house would provide the distinctly delightful feeling of walking down the red carpet at the Kodak Thee-a-ter every damn day.

We are also, much to our surprise, bent backwards with glee over the kitchen with all that black marble affixed to just about every flat surface. Black marble like this seems totally impractical and we're deeply concerned about constant water spotting on this material, but if Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter lived here we'd just have to resign ourselves into having Svetlana (and her sister-in-law Oksana) come in several days a week to deal effectively with that issue.

The vein-cut travertine flooring inside the house stretches out to the decently sized pool terrace that features a fireplace and a view expansive enough to silence even the most jaded queens and the most fervent Hollywood Hills real estate snobs. At least on a clear day. You Mama does not always care for a "knife-edged infinity pool" but we'll take this dee-lishus cee-ment pond without complaint or snark.

Listen up children, the photos here reflect the interior decor BEFORE American Idol creator and celebrity manager extraordinaire Simon Fuller purchased the 3 bedroom (plus library) and 3.5 bathroom aerie in February for 2007. Property records reveal the entertainment mogul paid $7,650,000 for the freshly rehabbed house that Your Mama presumes the London based millionaire uses as a pied a terre.

Y'all know who Mister Fuller is, right? In the off chance that you don't, here's a Reader's Digest rundown: Mister Fuller, who created the reality television phenomena that is American Idol– and all the other Idol programs for that matter–discovered the boozy mess that is Amy Winehouse, manages former supermodel Claudia Schiffer, Victoria Beckham and The Spice Girls as well as a large number of other big name celebs. He's the brainiac who engineered ball playing super stud David Beckham's unnaturally large $250,000,000 deal with the LA Galaxy, and, Mister Fuller's company 19 Entertainment has contracts with most of the noteworthy and money making Idol alums such as Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken and Will Young, just to name a few. So the children should be able to easily ascertain that the forty something year old man is stinking rich and wields an almost Svengali-like power over the entertainment bizness.

While he remains president of Entertainment 19, in March of 2005 Mister Fuller sold the group for a reported and jaw dropping $192,000,000, which in addition to his long list of royalties, syndication rights and current projects surely places him among the wealthiest of all the Hollywood bigwig types. The man can afford to live just about any way and any where he chooses and his real estate portfolio reportedly bulges with a dozen dee-luxe homes around the world including another residence on Ridgedale Drive that sits just a few doors down from the Bev Hills house that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston used to call home. Mister Fuller also recently dumped $19,360,752 on two adjacent ninth floor condos at the yet to be completed condominium conversion at The Plaza Residences at the corner of Fifth Avenue and 59th Street in Manhattan.

Nearby neighbors to the Tanager Way house include ex Will and Grace rich behatcha Megan Mullally, who lives up the road and smack next door to the house the Tobey Maguire recently sold for $10,800,000. A little farther up from Miz Mullally lives Mister Keanu Reeves and his dirty clothes. Next door to Mister Fuller's pied a terre is the house that super songwriter Diane Warren bought from Miss David Geffen back in 1995 and is thought by many to be have one of the very best views in all of the hills.

Your Mama does not know Mister Fuller personally, so we really can't offer the children any valid reason why the man might want or need two lavish homes in Los Angeles that are only a few miles distance from each other, but who are we to question the real estate needs of the super rich entertainment mogul, right?


Anonymous said...

I love any monolithic style frontage. This one is beautiful and dramatic; a great entrance. The interior is not quite my style, but I could easily make it into my dream home with a few tweaks and a change of furniture. Great terrace and pool, but I'd be too afraid to get into the hot tub that teeters on the edge of the cliff.

Anonymous said...

The thing is he doesn't even live in L.A - he's based in London, unless he moved when he sold his company but I doubt it. He's worth something like $700M so I guess this place is just pennies to him. David Beckhams 1st British interview that aired on t.v in the U.K days after he moved to L.A was filmed by the pool of this place.

I remember when this place came on the market - it is stunning but like you said Mama, the furniture sucks!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Mama, one thing we must disagree upon - although I love the clean spare lines of the architecture in general, and have always loved a largely blank wall turned to the street for privacy (such as Frank Lloyd Wright pioneered in his Usonian houses, starting with the Jacobs residence in 1936), this entrance facade is much too studied and symmetrical - and with that overclipped greenery, it looks like a Beverly Hills bank.

Your furniture critique was mostly dead-on, but I myself would have liked to see a few more splashes of color to punch up the rectilinearity of the architecture. And those statues - gotta go, and I mean now! Perhaps some antique Asian pieces in their stead - a nice pair of Japanese inros on plinths?

But I love, love, LOVE that pool - and the adjoining wedge of a spa. Inside, the floor surfaces are perfect - especially if Simon, in a moment of insanity, invites Paula over for lunch; easy to clean up whatever that trainwreck manages to unswallow as she staggers from room to room, wondering why the walls are crooked when her path is not.

Let's hope Simon chooses to keep the best of the bones and not turn it into just another anonymous Bird Street address.

One more thing, Mama; mentioning David Beckham and unnaturally large in the same sentence is just plain naughty!

Anonymous said...

When you enter this home, your jaw drops to the floor at how dramatic the infinity pool is with the views behind it. The entrance does feel like you're walking the red carpet... never have I been in a home that gives you pure emotion as you walk up the staircase and enter.

Aside from this, the home isn't spectacular... the master suite gets all the love while the other two rooms are pushed to the back and have views of the street (from what I remember).

Looking at the pool and spa can give you nightmares of falling over the edge.

Also, I would feel somewhat clostrophobic in this house because there's no where to go besides the pool area and small house.

Perfect pied a terre but no place to call home or have children

Anonymous said...

I dig the Trousdale-ish facade -- but not the dainty topiary, which I'd join into a long, low rectangle.

Anonymous said...

i agree with the hollywood major, i do like the house that is on the opposite side of this house (1410 tanager way) over this one, here's great pictures

Anonymous said...

Hi Mama,
We're hungry for some more pics to better appreciate our Mayor's descriptions! Can you spin some magic? You do have special powers!

Anonymous said...

i really like everything about it except the black marble in the kitchen. it just seems to suck the light into it like a black hole... but then again, i'm all about lots of light and space, so the pool/hot tub/master bedroom area really spin the propeller on my beanie! what beautiful views... thanks for all the hard work you put into this blog mama. happy friday, sunny

Anonymous said...

I accidentally found this house (and had no idea it was celebrity owned) on New Year's Day while driving around with my Mama (after we were run off Ellen & Portia's by Sgt. Buff). The house is beautiful from the street. The angle of the facade shot doesn't do it justice.

Anonymous said...

lil" gay boy the word to be used when talking about Mr Beckham should be mushroom!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I was thinking "hoodie"

Anonymous said...

I love the colours of the interior, highlighted by the blue of the sky. I really like the couch in the tv room. It's serene and very nice.

Anonymous said...

"i do like the house that is on the opposite side of this house (1410 tanager way) over this one, here's great pictures"

1410 was for sale pretty much at the same time, for a fraction of the price - If I remember it was on at the $3M - $4M range ... The one Mama talks about was on at $8.5M but obviously sold for slightly less.

Anonymous said...

A few of you are commenting on the home's "great bones"....

As Mama has mentioned, this is a recent remodel. Great bones usually refers to a house that will have demolition involved to make it nice - and in this case that was already done, fairly recent. This house was fug before that.

And Mama mentions the marble in the kitchen...
It is Rive Gauche marble, very dark brown, and terrible to maintain in a kitchen. I don't know what they were thinking, purdy or not.

JR Davidson said...

Starchitect: I beg to differ on the meaning of "great bones". In my opinion, for what it is worth, "great bones" means the house is well built and well designed. The only demo work would be surfaces on a house with "great bones".

Anonymous said...

I'd take 1407 over 1410 anyday. Who puts faux Frank Lloyd Wright textile blocks in a house? You can see by the photos that 1410 is in need of a restoration. It should have been half the price.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I second hackster. If you demo bones-that's a tear down.