Monday, July 30, 2007

Rick Schroder's Itty Bitty Beach Shack

BUYER: Rick and Andrea Schroder
SELLER: Christopher Cortazzo
LOCATION: Las Flores Beach, Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $5,850,000 (sale price)
DESCRIPTION: Agent's personal new beach house on approximately 42 feet of beach frontage. Casual elegance & sophistication with 2 large ocean front decks, all new appliances, finest amenities. A must see!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Every now and then Your Mama comes across a property that actually turns us green with envy. This teeny tiny beach shack in Malee-boo is exactly what Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would want if we had nearly six million clams to spend on an ocean front getaway. We are definitely not in love with all the furnishings and decor–the crazy rattan bar stools can go–but we covet the close in location, modest size, and heavenly ocean side decks that stretch the inside out towards the roiling Pacific Ocean.

Y'all might remember this house from when it was featured on the Bravo TVs Million Dollar Listing last year. On the show, the young and handsome real estate whipper snapper Madison Hildebrand (who maintains his own blog) showed the house as a potential rental property to a corporate bigwig lady with a sky high budget and an obscenely expensive purse who was looking for a house to rent for the summer.

Also present at the showing was the homeowner, who happened to be young Madison's mentor and the undisputed king of Malee-boo real estate Christopher Cortazzo. If you've ever been withing 100 miles of the Malee-boo real estate world, you already know that Mister Cortazzo, a former model and animal lover, sells mind boggling numbers of Malee-boo mansions and multi-million dollar ocean front houses.

Mister Cortazzo purchased this wee beach hut as an investment back in April of 2004 for an undisclosed amount of money. We are quite certain this place was a shit hole before Mister Cortazzo worked his make over magic on the house. Your Mama recalls somewhere in the recesses of our failing memory that when Mister Cortazzo put the house back on the market, it actually had a much higher asking price initially. However, $5,995,000 is the list price we have on the listing we were able to access.

The corporate bigwig lady did not rent the house for the summer, but eventually, in February of 2007, the 1,250 square foot, 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom house was sold to none other than former child actor turned gun toting Republican Rick Schroder for $5,850,000.

Before Golden Globe winner Rick Schroder was baring his Republican ass on NYPD Blue, he was best known as Jon Voight's cute kid in The Champ, and then as the cute and spoiled rich kid on the sit-com Silver Spoons. As a young adult he forsook the Hollywood lifestyle, sold the house at 921 N. Roxbury Drive in Bev Hills where he lived as a teenager, and moved to a 15,000 acre ranch in Grand Junction, CO. There he became a cowboy, a conservative, and a member of the NRA. In 2000, the private but politically active actor spoke at the Republican National Convention on behalf of our dear and wise leader President George Bush.

We recall reading somewhere (our failing mind again) that Mister Schroder had listed his massive ranch in Colorado for sale, but property records indicate he still owns at least a good chunk of that property. Before moving back to California, property records indicate the Schroders bought and sold several properties in Scottsdale, Arizona, where they have maintained a home since at least 1997. In March of 2006, they sold a 6,867 square foot house located within the gates of the Country Club at DC Ranch for a whopping $3,800,000.

In March of 2005, the Schroder family relocated back to California when they paid $4,150,000 to purchase a 21 acre ranchette up in the hills of Topanga Canyon. At the time of purchase the Topanga property included a 4,629 square foot house and several outbuildings including horse stables and a riding ring. The Schroder ranchette is just a hop, skip, and a jump from the family's new beach shack, which is a good thing because the Schroder's have a whole mess of kids, and finding a place for them all to sleep at the two bedroom beach house could be troublesome.

Now, before we sign off and take our bitches Linda and Beverly our for their morning constitution, let's quickly discuss the merits of this house. Number one, the location. Your Mama likes the Las Flores location which provides quick and easy access to the West Side of LA without having to deal with the constant snarl of traffic further up the Pacific Coast Highway. And sure, we know Carbon Beach is way more exclusive, but Your Mama does not need to be sitting on the back deck trying to relax while the flash bulbs pop pop pop as the paparazzi take pictures of all those troubled starvelets like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, preggers Nicole Richie, and the minuscule Olsen twins as they strut the sand in their teeny bikinis and provide the paps with nip slips as they frolic in the surf. No thanks.

Number two, the modest size. Contrary to trend, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter actually prefer houses without excessive square footage. We do not want to encourage overnight guests by having 7 bedrooms fronting the ocean. Nor do we enjoy having a house so big that it requires a team of cleaning gurls be up in there 3 or 4 days a week. This itty bitty beach house is just big enough to easily host one or two favored guests at a time, say The Chicken or Flower and Grandma Bunny.

Number three, the heavenly decks. Living at the beach is all about being able to spend time immersed in the elements. We adore that Mister Cortazzo thought to put a hammock on the lower deck and we LOVE the double wide chaise. And of course everyone knows how much Your Mama loves a picnic table, particularly a big chunky one like Mister Cortazzo featured on the lower deck. On the upper deck Mister Cortazzo has taken a rather banal feature, the bench that spans and wraps the length of the deck, and elevated it to a spectacularly long and cushioned bench with dozens and dozens of pillows. Gorgeous.

What we want to know is where does Mister Schroder plan on hanging the gun rack?

P.S. Your Mama would like to publicly apologize to Mister Big Time for not referencing his posting on this property some months ago. Y'all know our mind is slipping and we did not check or remember. Sorry Mister Big Time, you know we like to give credit where credit is due, and you are due sir.

Sources: Inside Bu, Hollywood Grind, Drunk Hollywood, Internet Movie Data Base


Anonymous said...

it's pretty nice but las flores has no dry sand which kinda sucks ... ur better off a couple of mins further into malibu on la costa ...

Anonymous said...

I can't believe Cortazzo finally sold it! His sentimental attachments to this home have led him to pass on several offers. It's a cool little house.

Anonymous said...

Gee Rick, thanks for your efforts on behalf of getting The Shrub elected. NOT.

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Anonymous said...

i agree, nice little beach pad, its simplistic, & perfect size with a great deck for hanging out & grillin steaks.
great articles on sunday, thanks.

Anonymous said...

People don't 'grill' in malibu - they go to nobu ; )

Anonymous said...

Grilling is 'out' because a trendy breeze has dictated to the obtuse citizenry that eating behind Country Marts has snob appeal and is therefore 'in'. I wouldn't be popular in Malibu because I'd have such delicious fun pissing people off with things like my grill smoke, lol.

Anonymous said...

nothing better than throwing steaks on the grill & drinking a cold one whether its malibu or maine, mmmmmm beer.

Anonymous said...

Sad about Ricky and his politics...maybe. Anyway, this is a cute shack. I don't know if I love all the whitewashing (and hate the furnishings), but I could sick on that deck and enjoy the view. Yes, I could.

Anonymous said...

[but I could sick on that deck and enjoy the view. Yes, I could.]

SIT, SIT, sit on the deck. Damn. Addled.

Anonymous said...

I don't even like this house. The living room looks like a hotel lobby. The spindly, thin looking, long deck bench looks like some idiotic designer wanted to be "different," read: uncomfortable. The rest of the furniture looks too pretty to actually use, like when grandmas put plastic on top of couches. Bleah to all of it.

Anonymous said...

I just saw this house being shown to clients again on the Bravo TV show Million Dollar Listing that Mama mentioned and it's really quite nice. The photos don't do it justice. The only feature I don't care for is the shower. Solid walls of glass would have looked much better. As it is, it reminds me of a pet store stacked display of fish tanks.