Friday, April 13, 2007

Dexter King Flips Out in Malee-boo

SELLER: Dexter King
LOCATION: Rambla Pacifico Street, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $3,495,000
SIZE: 4,705 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Architectural modern home with ocean view. Expansive living areas abound in this four bedroom home situated on 2.7 private, wooded acres. Soaring ceilings and an exceptional open design plan provide the feeling of expansive spatial flow. Amazing ocean & whitewater views that capture Catalina, L.A. city lights, and the Malibu pier are offered from most rooms in the home or can be enjoyed in the extended outdoor living environment.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In case you don't know, Dexter King is the child of the late, great civil rights pioneers Martin Luther and Coretta Scott King. Mister Dexter, who reports say pulls in a big salary as the chairman of the King Center in Atlanta, Georgia, spends most of his time in Los Angeles where he pursues an as yet unsuccessful career as an actor.

Our research revealed that Mister Dexter is a controversial figure in the modern day civil rights movement. Your Mama is not going to go into it here as there isn't time and we don't want to get overly po-leetickal this early in the morning. But if yer innerested, google the man and see what comes up. Good stuff.

All reports, contacts, and records indicate Mister Dexter lives in an apartment near the ocean in Malibu and purchased this property in March of 2005 for $2,055,000. Your Mama does not have any way of knowing whether this scion of civil rights had any intention of moving into this house, but given that the house appears to be painted, primped and stuffed full of rented furniture, we think this property is being flipped at a significant profit.

For all the po-bitches who have to commute to work on the heavily trafficked and often backed-up Pacific Coast Highway, this house, located way up in Las Flores canyon, will be appealing. For all the children who don't know the canyons of Malee-boo, Las Flores is one of the Southern most canyons which means it's closer to the westside portals of Pacific Palisades and Santa Monica. Hunnies, Point Dume is gorgeous, but it's a long, long drive if you work in Beverly Hills.

A long driveway at the front of the property leads to the front door which opens to explosive views of Malee-boo. Your Mama loves the way the house sits nestled in the trees like it's a secret in the woods. We also love all that white paint on the exterior which gives it a sun scorched bauhaus-ian quality that we find very appealing.

Now babies, let's talk about those floor to ceiling, sky high windows in the living room. Of course, they flood the room with light and are certainly dramatic. But do you know what you will have to do to get the maid up on a ladder to clean those things? Not only will it cost you extra, she will quite likely demand you provide health insurance in case she tumbles off the ladder in her efforts to get your windows squeaky clean.

Nowadays Your Mama sees so many of the these kitchens that feature acres of stainless steel, and we agree they look fantastic. But as an owner of stainless appliances, we know exactly what it takes for the maid to keep it all shinee and finger print free. Let Your Mama tell you that it is a lot of work for the poor gurl. So we think it's just cruel, inhumane, and punishing to be putting in wall to wall stainless in the kitchen. It pretty much ensures that the maid will hate you.

Your Mama is concerned we would have trouble navigating all the stairs in this house without having a coronary, but we sincerely appreciate the indoor/outdoor feeling of the house, and imagine each the ocean view decks is a nice place to watch the sun set over the Pacific. However, we do think Mister Dexter might have done a better job working with that tub of hot water on the roof. With all due respeckt, that thing looks far less than elegant and upscale up than it should in a house in this price range.

Clearly flipping high end houses is not a bad way to make $3-600,000 a year. That is if you have the dough to get started and carry the place for a while. Your Mama is quite sure Mister Dexter is going to come out ahead on this property and pocket in excess of $1,000,000. Say what you want about the man, but he clearly knows how to make money flipping real estate in the electric market of Malee-boo.


Anonymous said...

Oh what a beautiful Ikea dining room light.

Anonymous said...

I have a dream... of the trashiest jacuzzi ever.

Anonymous said...

How does a director of a nonprofit center get the $$$$$ to buy Malibu real estate?!

Anonymous said...

Gilded Moose: I'm glad you said it. I couldn't decide whether to comment on the Ikea light or the Jacuzzi!

Anonymous said...

I discovered the secret of cleaning stainless steel appliances without going insane: WD 40. It's a dream for easily getting the fingerprints off and leaving things shiny and un-streaky. Er...I mean...that's what my maid uses.

Now to the jacuzzi. It's amazing how one item can just scream "I will plunge your property's value into the great abyssssss!!!", isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Puh-leeze! That hillside is just waiting to go up in smoke next time the dreaded santa-ana winds hit the city. The secret to keeping stainless steel perfect is baby oil - I kid you not people.

Crunchbird said...

He obtained his "blood money" from a $32M deal that sold the King papers to a private group in Atlanta. They wanted to have them for a new museum opening in 2014. The King family was ready to auction them in NY.