Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Jonathan Antin's Bird Street Blow Out

SELLER: Jonathan Antin
LOCATION Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,699,000
SIZE: 1,423 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.75 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Mid-century jewel on one of the premier bird streets. 3 bedrooms, 2.75 bathrooms, nice master with city views. Sexy pool w/ cabana and wood decks. Oakwood floors throughout the house, very private with security entrance. Move in condition with great potential. Carport optional.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: You know this one is going to go over big with all the gurls at the beauty parlor. Foneesha, the gal who works the hair washing station at Your Mama's salon, would kill her baby-daddy, sell her six children, and drive her Pontiac di-rect to Hollywood if hair honcho and reality television star Jonathan Antin would so much as give her one sexy look.

Most ladies and homosexual gentlemen will remember sizzling sexy Mister Antin and his big ego working the Warren Beatty from Shampoo thang on his reality show Blow Out on the Bravo TV. And our older, house-bound readers in their holiday themed sweaters will recognize him from hawking his somewhat pricey wares on the QVC. Or maybe you've seen his MySpace page/personal advertisement?

As a wee man growing up in L.A., Mister Antin dreamed of cutting hair. So he dropped out of Beverly Hills High School and had his mama enroll him at the Fairfax Beauty Academy. It was not long before he was hair styling for fashion shows, celebutards, real celebrities, and opening the successful Jonathan Antin Salon in West Hollywood.

Before the seemingly gay, but defiantly straight Antin became a reality television star or a pretty talking head on the QVC, he was just a hairdresser. Albeit a well paid hairdresser to Hollywood glitterati such as Madonna, Kirsten Dunst, Ricky Martin, and Tobey McGuire. His motto: "Celebrity hair without the drama." Your Mama understands that you gotta have a gimmick, but please. Jonathan hunny, we've seen your reality show and it's clear you know a little something about drama. You may not, but Your Mama remembers the cat fight with the bottle designer and all the tears in the therapist's office.

Because he'd been around the celebrity block in L.A., Antin knew the value of the bird streets long before the bird streets were the Bird Streets. You know what we're saying? So back in May of 1998 Mister Antin took some of his hairdressing tips and gratuities and purchased this house for $545,000. Smart move. The man stands to make an impressive $1,000,000 when he sells this house.

For all the children who don't know the hills of Hollywood like the back of your hand, some of these homes up in there can be rather difficult to find and require navigating all sorts of splits in the road, harrowing hairpin turns, and very, very narrow streets. Hunnies, the hills can be dangerous to drive because even with all the hazzardous conditions, people fly up and down these roads in their shiny automobiles like they're driving in the Monaco Grandprix. So Your Mama appreciates that this house is located just off Doheny, which makes for a much safer ride home from a late night at Teddy's.

The listing agent at the venerable Westside Estate Agency hasn't provided very many photos of the property, so we can only assume the interior has had a sexy makeover to resemble Mister Antin's sexy impression of himself. Although we are a bit skeptical based on the one photo of the interior we have. Sure, he's got some pedigreed furniture like the Eames lounger and the Jacobsen Egg chair. But we're a little concerned about the television being mounted up at the ceiling like that. It's too reminiscent of a hospital and Your Mama does not need to be reminded of having our gall bladder removed every time we turn on the boob-tube to watch that mortifying Wife Swap program.

Also, that large, bong like contraption just outside the sliders on the deck worries us. What in the devil is that? Whatever it is, it does not look legal and Your Mama suggests the real estate agent hide that thing in the trunk of his car when prospective buyers come over.

We are appreciating that the architect squeezed in a nice swimming pool in a rather small yard. The decking surround is a nice, somewhat low maintenance option that fits with the updated 1960s Hollywood Hills vibe. And of course, Your Mama always appreciates a "cabana," although in this case it's really more of a lean-to.

Couple things we noted: We can't be sure why the listing has the property as both a two and a three bedroom. Also, property records shows the house has two bathrooms, and the listing shows 2.75. Something else we found interesting is that property records also show that this house does not have a central air conditioning system. Maybe that's not a big deal to the children, but Your Mama prefers some central A/C during the dog days of a Los Angeles summer.

Now that Mister Antin is a daddy, he surely wants more square footage and a larger backyard. One large enough for the nanny to push baby Ashford on a fancy swing set. So undoubtedly that's why he's selling this house. We wish Mister Antin and his family a sweet bon voyage and congratulate him on his savvy and lucrative real estate investment.

Sources: Westside Estate Agency, QVC, Bravo, MySpace


Anonymous said...

Mama,that's a chiminia outside the door. It's a portable,outdoor firepit, It seems maybe the interior isn't so hot, hence the lack of photos.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe cutting hair can give you a house like this? I'm in the wrong biz...

Anonymous said...

Mama I've seen some footage of the inside, and this child really liked it. The interiors are VERY neutral, and the home seems like a poor mans version of Tom Ford's Bel Air house. BTW, why is this house $1.5M? Isn't that really, dare I say, affordable for the Birds?

Anonymous said...

Strange -- the exterior has such a mobile home quality about it that I'm surprised to find the pool area and interior as comforting as they are.

I'm also pleasantly surprised that you can put any kind of roof over your head in LA for only $1.6!