Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Goldfarb and Paredes in Tribeca

SELLERS: Alfredo Paredes and Brad Goldfarb
LOCATION: 25 N. Moore Street (The Atalanta), New York City
PRICE: $2,600,000 (maintenance $2,155 / month)
SIZE: 1,886 square feet, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom
DESCRIPTION: The description provided by the listing agents is very long...so we'll condense and pop up later today.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Children, have you ever wondered what the New York apartment of a couple of swanky design queens looks like? Well here you go. Your Mama has been in so many of these places where every inch is considered and littered with expensive object (pronounce that ob-zjay please) and flea market finds that have been very expensively refinished and reupholstered. In case the children West of the Hudson River don't know who these fancy poofters are let Your Mama tell you.

Brad Goldfarb is the Executive Editor at the once edgy, now mainstream Interview magazine which was started in 1969 by that little wig wearing demon Andy Warhol. Goldfarb has the privilege of interviewing lots of fascinating folks like Whitney Houston and Anderson Cooper. Lately Goldfarb and Interview have been under fire from New York media blogs for allegedly fabricating the letters to the editor. Oh my, we can only hope those accusations are false, false, false.

Alfredo Paredes is an Executive Vice President at Ralph Lauren. Now that should not be a surprise after having a look around the apartment. We've got animal skin rugs, black and white photos, heaps of vases and lots of taupe colored things. All very Calvin Klein goes to the beach with a distinct Manhattan sophistication. There are almost always six degrees of separation in New York and a lifetime ago Your Mama sold Mister Paredes a custom made blanket for their country house that cost him $450. Wonder if he still has it.

The 10th floor apartment is located in The Atalanta, one of Tribeca's most desirable and expensive buildings. Other notable residents include Damon Dash, who lives in a lower floor duplex, and playwright Anna Deveare Smith as well as a large contingent of rich and anonymous lawyers, bankers and Wall Streeters.

Overall the apartment comes off quite nice. A little "done" for our taste, but that's to be expected from ritzy gays in New York with very good jobs. The kitchen has us peeing our pants it looks so sleek and sexy. But Your Mama knows from experience that all that stainless steel will keep the maid polishing half a day away. We hope the girl has some insurance to deal with the carpal tunnel that is sure to set in from all rubbing and wiping in the kitchen.

Can the children see that nude man in the window? No offense guys, but that thing is just gay enough to be upsetting. Why do people like these things? Please someone let us know what the appeal is.

The vanity area of the bathroom is certainly dramatic and we recognize and appreciate the bold use of the color black. In theory Your Mama likes that big naughty black phallic stick on the left hand side. But we're uncomfortable with the all the male jewelry hanging on the thing. Sort of destroys the effect for us.

We do not l.o.v.e every element of this apartment, but Your Mama knows in our hearts we would like these two gentlemen because they have actual books up in their house. Not having books in your house says more about someone than people without books in their house could possibly imagine.

The generous and well designed layout goes without saying. Clearly these two had a great architect who was able to deliciously custom fit the apartment.

If the children think $2,600,000 sounds like a lot for a one bedroom apartment, you should see the $4,000,000 one bedroom apartment that is also currently for sale at The Atalanta. So maybe this place is a bargain. It's all relative in the high end market, right babies?

Sources: Corcoran, Stribling NY


Anonymous said...

I really detest this building for some reason ... There is something about the units I don't like, reminds me of morton square which I also detest! ... I'd rather go a couple of blocks north to the Hubert building ...

Anonymous said...

just looked at the $4 million / 1 bedroom & it's actually quite nice ... 'There is something about the' MAJORITY 'of units I don't like' ...

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to think that all of these apartments are staged by the same designer. A little too "upscale Pottery Barn" for me.

Anonymous said...

What's the deal with N. Moore being such a celebrity street? I remember when JFK Jr lived at 20 and everyone thought he was crazy.

Anonymous said...

The "utility" areas could have been resolved so much more elegantly, especially the bathrooms. Honestly, for 1,900 sqft, this apartment is not really that well designed. I mean, in HK or London, 1,900 sqft gives you at least a den that you can convert to a second bedroom for visitors from overseas.

Miami Architect

Anonymous said...

Oh look, a $2.6 million home and you have the luxury of going through the ONLY bedroom to get to the ONLY bathroom. I think N. Moore is a cool street but oy vey!

Anonymous said...

Is the floorplan like a railroad flat? What is with the 'coffered ceilings? Contempo coffered ceilings? I hate these, they are the urban counterpart of the tray ceiling in the suburban home.

Anonymous said...

thanks for all your opinions, but i have to say, i it find amazing (including myself)that people dont have anything better to do then critique other peoples homes on line....and given the apt was sold in 4 days......whats the old saying," green is not your color "!!!!! you guys should get a life, off line!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Such a terrible layout and awful decor, pronounced "gay-core"! Whoever bought it in 4 days is a true sucker or perhaps one of them bought it for one of their boy toys.