Mid-Week Pick Up Sticks: Hank Azaria

BUYER: Hank Azaria
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $9,200,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: For as long as Your Mama has dipped our toes in the celebrity real estate sand box actor Hank Azaria has been a staple in property gossip columns from coast to coast. Indeed, Your Mama has dissed and discussed the real estate doing of actor Hank Azaria more times than we can count, including here in April 2009 and here again in August 2011.*

Rather that dig deep into the dishy details, in the interest of time, we're just gonna defer to the vigilant property gossips over at the Observer to spill the beans and deal with the specifics of the nine-room pre-war co-operative apartment with more than 60-feet of Central Park frontage in a Rosario Candela-designed Neo Renaissance apartment house on New York City's Central Park West that Mister Azaria surreptitiously snatched up in early April (2014) for $9.2 million.

*As far as our research reveals, Mister Azaria recently thinned his property portfolio with the $6.223 million sale of a Gerard Colcord-designed residence in Pacific Palisades, CA, and the $8,000,000 sale of a 4,000+ square foot, loft-type apartment in New York City's SoHo 'hood. (He still owns a four bedroom and four bathroom house tucked deep up a canyon in the Beverly Hills Post Office area that he picked up in 2000 for $2 million.)

listing photos: Stribling

Mid-Week Pick Up Sticks: Zac Efron

SELLER: Zac Efron
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,775,000
SIZE: 2,424 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: As was first revealed by the long-legged blond at Trulia Luxe Listings, recently rehabbed Hollywood hottie Zac Efron sold his architecturally pedigreed bachelor pad starter home in the Hollywood Hills for $2,775,000 after he listed it in mid-March (2014) with an asking price of $2,849,000.

The sleek, low-slung residence, behind gates on an a nearly one-third acre parcel, was originally designed in the 1940s by architect Rodney Walker for the Case Study program but was radically re-imagined 50 years later with vast walls of glass, heated concrete floors, and interconnected living spaces that include a combo living/dining room with fireplace and a roomy kitchen with top-grade appliances. There's a spacious deck that juts out into the tree tops at the front of the house and out back there's a negative-edge ozone system swimming pol and a minimalist-minded ramada for shaded poolside lounging.

Mister Efron acquired the two bedroom and 2.5 bathroom house in late 2008 for $2,350,000 and last October (2013) dropped almost $4 million for a larger five bedroom and five bathroom residence in the hills above Los Feliz.

listing photos The Agency

Missy Elliot Dumps Florida Condo

SELLER: Missy Elliot
LOCATION: Aventura, FL
PRICE: $1,450,000
SIZE: 4,740 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama first heard word from one of the celebrity property gossips at Redfin that pint-sized rap star and music producer Missy Elliott quietly sold her house-sized condo on William's Island in Aventura, FL, for $1,450,000.* While $1.45 million isn't exactly chump change to most people it's a far cry from the original, only, and optimistically tumescent $1.92 million asking price.

Property records show the five-time Grammy winning Miss Elliot—back in the professional saddle after a lengthy bout with Graves disease—acquired the 4,470 square foot house-sized condo in 2002 for $1.3 million and current listing details show the 19th floor spread has four bedrooms, five bathrooms and four bathrooms.

There are cool-under-foot, almost white marble tile floors throughout most of the entertaining and living space of the mid-floor condo crib while at least two of the bedrooms have quintessentially neutral wall-to-wall in a perfectly ordinary shade of tan. Long walls of essentially floor-to-ceiling glass, many of them fitted with brutally déclassé vertical blinds, slide open to four, glass-railed terraces that provide a bird's eye view across the dumb foundingly named Dumfounding Bay to the picket fence like row of hotel and condo towers that line up along Collins Avenue and the ocean beach.

In addition to a den, media room, and a center island eat-in kitchen with extra-chatoyant flat-fronted wood cabinets and high-grade appliances, there's a roomy if irregularly shaped main living space with some furnishings that really had Your Mama clutching our pearls. Did y'all take note of the trio of oddly and asymmetrically slumped two-tone burgundy leather sofas? How about the matching, two-stool bar? What in the world? What about the chair with fish aquarium for arms rests? Holy mackeral! (Although, on second thought the aquarium chair piece might be so crass and kitchy it's actually good Thoughts?)

Now, let's get to the elephant in that room: that built-in planter box smack in the center of the space out of which juts a metal(lic) sculpture that reads MiSSY! Have mercy and somebody please fetch Your Mama a nerve pill. Listen up here, butter beans, because Your Mama is about to impart a smidgen of sage decorative advice that you can—and should—carry with you for the rest of your life: If any of the children have ever wondered if a planter box set smack in the middle of your living room with a huge, self-adulating sculpture of your name with an exclamation point might be a fun idea, well, this is proof positive it is not. Not here in Miss Elliot's former digs in Aventura and not anywhere else, ever and/or for any reason. We would make a hard and fast rule about this but it seems something like this really should be able to go without saying, no?**

Anyhoodles, poodles, the 172-unit, 32-story condo complex, known as—ahem—the Residence du Cap, offers residents: 24-7 valet, concierge and security services; three on-site restaurants; a 27,000 square foot spa facility; a private marina and yacht club; 16 tennis courts; basement storage bins; teen and card rooms; and a heated pool and spa area with pool attendant to chase down towels and Bloody Marys.

As far as we can tell for a search of public property records, Miss Elliot still owns a fairly well secluded, approximately 6,300 square foot residence in Kinnelon, NJ. (That's about 30 or 35 miles north and west of Midtown Manhattan.) on almost 8 acres that she picked up in October 2000 for $1,190,000. She also appears to owns a, 11,000+ square foot, 16-room  residence that backs up to a hot dog-shaped pond on the outskirts of Virginia Beach, VA, that out research indicates she custom built for her mother.

*Aventura, for those who may not be intimate with Floridian georraphy, sits about 15 miles due north of South Beach.

**We also think—but can not confirm—that the greenery that fills the planter at the base of the "statue" is fake. And trust Your Mama when we say that none of y'all should suffer our flabbergasted diatribe on that particular faux-shrubbery shenanigans.

listing photos: Decorus Realty

Shannon Elizabeth Re-Lists L.A. Pad

SELLER: Shannon Elizabeth
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,699,000
SIZE: 4,689 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Two-time Playboy pin-up model turned American Pie sexpot actress turned jewelry designer and successful semi-professional poker player Shannon Elizabeth has re-listed her long-time residence in the celebrity-approved Los Feliz area of Los Angeles with an asking price of $2,699,000.

Property records show Miss Elizabeth acquired the 1920s era Mediterranean in August 2001 for $1,425,000 and Your Mama's research shows this is not her first trip to the real estate rodeo with this particular property. She first hoisted the house on the open market back in August 2012 with an in-hindsight optimistic asking price of $2,988,000. The price was changed twice before, in January 2013, the property was de- and then quickly re-listed for $2,694,000. The price dropped (again) to $2,676,000 before it was taken off the market in the early days of May (2013).

Current listing details show the three-story city-view residence has a street-level three car garage and a walled and gated entry courtyard. There are a total of five bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms in 4,689 square feet with loads of intact original architectural details (iron work, stained glass, colorful tiles).

The step-down living room has medium brown wood floors, a wood-beamed ceiling, and an ochre and sepia sponge paint treatment. Windows flank wood-burning fireplace and there's direct access to a bowed, iron-railed terrace with long views that sweep over Atwater Village. The formal dining room is painted a rather bloody—and, hence, unappetizing—shade of red and furnished with a heavy-duty wood dining room set that looks like something out of King Arthur's castle.

The wood floors in the living and dining rooms extend into the library where there are built-in bookshelves and a long view through a trio of casement-style windows. A small sun room, with the same disturbing, blood red paint treatment as the dining room, has a vaulted, exposed wood ceiling and black-tiled wet bar on top of which, Your Mama notes, sits an Costco-sized bottle of top shelf gin.

The somewhat small-ish looking kitchen has vintage-style black and white tile counter tops, a three-stool breakfast bar, an industrial-grade range, and a glass-fronted, commercial-style fridge that Your Mama covets and can assure the children cost Miz Elizabeth more than ten grand. We're just going to look past the greenhouse window over the sink because, well, all the children surely know by now that Rule No. 17 in Your Mama's Big Book of Decoratin' Dos and Don'ts states—and we paraphrase—that greenhouse windows over kitchen sinks are, in most cases, strictly verboten.

Listing details indicate each of the three guest/family bedrooms has a private bathroom as does, of course, the master bedroom where the mustard colored walls look like they were rubbed with tea or tobacco. (Good grief, people, did Miz Elizabeth ever meet a sponge paint situation she didn't want to incorporate into her home?) Only a double-wide doorway divides the bedroom itself from the bathroom. There's no door. Thankfully the toilet appears to be in an enclosed cubicle of its own because Your Mama just can't stand these open plan master bedrooms. Call us a prude—and we've really been called so many worse things—but we do not care to wake up to a view of the bathtub nor we don't care to brush, floss and/or shower in full view of the bedroom space.

Miz Elizabeth outfitted a separate but attached, two-room flexi-use space with private bathroom and kitchenette as a roomy one-bedroom guest apartment. The walls in the living room/kitchenette area bathed in rich if jarring and arguably cockamamie vermilion hue and, in the bedroom, the walls have been covered in an only slightly less puzzling eggplant purple. (We will also not discuss the giant wall mirror behind the bed. We just can't.)

The nearly quarter acre parcel has generous terraced and landscaped gardens that include several elevated terraces and verandas, a foliage enshrouded terrace with outdoor bbq/fireplace, and a flat patch of grass for Miz Elizabeth's pooches. Off the lowest level of the house there's a multi-level terrace that steps down to an ozone swimming pool and has a long and wide, over-the-shrubbery view of the downtown skyline.

As far as we know, Miz Elizabeth does not own any other real estate—which does not mean she does not only that we don't know about it—and we have no idea where she might plan to decamp when she (finally) sells her sponge-painted home in Los Feliz.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

Hamptons Estate Sells for a Record Breaking $147 Million

Hold on to your real estate horses, butter beans, because the New York Post reported yesterday that activist hedge fund fat cat Barry Rosenstein of Jana Partners is all set to shell out a heart-stopping and record shattering $147 million for an 16-acre ocean front estate on Further Lane in East Hampton, NY.

That's right, babies, $147 million, an amount that far exceeds the $120 million paid for Copper Beech Farm in Greenwich, CT a few weeks ago and it makes the $88.3 million or $102 million paid for Suzanne Saperstein's massive Frenchified chateau in Los Angeles looks like real estate child's play.

The three-parcel, street-to-dunes estate had been the home of hard-drinking financier Christopher H. Browne and his man-friend, landscape architect Andrew Gordon. Mister Brown passed in 2009 and after a long and bitter battle with Mister Browne's family, the bulk of his quarter billion dollar-plus estate, including the East Hampton spread and a 6,200+ square foot Park Avenue duplex recently on the market for almost $30 million, was granted to Mister Gordon who himself passed on somewhat unexpectedly last year (2013).

So the scuttlebutt goes, the deal went down off-market and some of the high-end real estate agents in area are livid. According to The Post, an unnamed broker "fumed" that, "It was all very hush-hush" and that, "The trustees of the estate, one would think, have a fiduciary responsibility to get top dollar, which would have happened on an open market." Well, with all due respect, Mister or Miz Unidentified Hamptons Broker but it seems to this  know-nothing property gossip the trustees of the estate did indeed to a pretty damn good job of securing top dollar for property.

If Your Mama was the betting type—and we're not—we'd wager both our long-bodied bitches, Linda and Beverly that Mister Rosenstein will raze the existing, multi-winged residence to make way for a much larger and more grand summer residence.

The Post went on to say that billionaire David Geffen had a look-see at the property before settling on the acquisition of the Georgica Pond-front estate being sold by wealthy widow and philanthropist Courtney Sale Ross, a delicious bit of real estate business Your Mama discussed back in the early days of April (2014).

aerial image: Bing

Dan Aykroyd Wants To Rent Pacific Palisades House

OWNER: Dan Aykroyd and Donna Dixon
LOCATION: Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE $45,000 per month
SIZE: 7,952 square feet, 6-7 bedrooms, 6 full and 4 half half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It's come to Your Mama's attention that Oscar-nominated and Emmy Award-winning Tinseltown veteran Dan Aykroyd and his former actress wife Donna Dixon have put their spacious, hillside home in the mountains above Pacific Palisades, CA, up for lease at $45,000 per month.*

Property records show the Canadian-born former Saturday Night Live alum the former 1st Runner Up for Miss World USA acquired the property in 2008 for a $14,500,000. Listing details show the sprawling, Spanish style house was originally built in 1929—or maybe 1926, depending on where on looks—and sits on nearly an acre of landscaped grounds that butts up to the rugged and scrubby wilds of State Park lands.

The existing house, as per listing details, weighs in at 7,952 square feet with six or seven bedrooms and, as far as we can parse from listing details, six full and four half bathrooms, some with original Malibu tile. There's a walled and gated courtyard entry, a three car garage with additional on-street parking for more than half a dozen more cars. Inside, according to listing details, there is a living room with fireplace, dining room, office, kitchen, and a billiard room/library. There's also an additional guest suite/office space and a small gym/weight room.

The multi-winged house opens on his rear side to extensive landscaped gardens, a sport court, and half a dozen terraces including a vast, flag stone terrace with an infinity edge swimming pool, spa, and panoramic canyon, mountain and (somewhat oblique) ocean views.

Some of Mister and Missus Aykroyd's nearby neighbors include Oscar-nominated movie score composer John Powell (Rio and Rio 2, How to Train Your Dragon, Shrek, Happy Feet), Melissa Rivers—she's Joan's reality t.v. denizen daughter, and Oscar-winner Hilary Swank who listed her Mediterranean manse on the open market in the fall of 2012 for $9.495 million.

Since at least 2001 the Aykroyd-Dixons have owned a fairly modest house on just over 12 acres near Chilmark on Martha's Vineyard. Your Mama has read they own a place in Canada—about which we know nothing—and at some point they owned a triplex pied-a-terre on the Upper East Side of Manhattan but we don't have any details on that place either. What we do know is that until December 2007, when it was sold for $3.8 million to actress Beverly D'Angelo, Mister Aykroyd and Miz Dixon owned a celebrity pedigreed pad above L.A.'s Laurel Canyon that was formerly the home of Ringo Starr and, later, Mama Cass of the Mama's and the Papa's.

*Your Mama found digital evidence that the house was also listed sometime in 2013 for $55,000 per month.

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland 

Ron Howard Wants to Lighten His Real Estate Load

SELLERS: Ron and Cheryl Howard
LOCATION: Greenwich, CT
PRICE: $27,500,000
SIZE: 17,200 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5 full and 4 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The property gossips at The Wall Street Journal (WSJ) announced today that child star turned internationally lauded and applauded blockbuster movie maker Ron Howard and his wife, Cheryl, hoisted their customized compound in swanky and semi-rural Greenwich, CT, up for grabs with an asking price of $27,500,000.

Listing details indicate the bucolic estate spans almost 33 acres within the gates of the high-fallutin' Conyer's Farm enclave where it butts up against scenic, 140-acre Converse Lake, about an hour from Midtown Manhattan. The Howards' secluded compound, their home for two decades, encompasses a 17,200 square foot neo-Victorian main mansion with seven fireplaces, six bedrooms and five full and four half bathrooms plus a separate 2,500 square foot two bedroom Craftsman-style guest cottage.

The grounds are roomy, well-equipped and expensively maintained and the three story, 23-room mansion is sumptuously appointed, unquestionably luxurious and carefully crafted with high quality materials. (Did you see the fully-paneled double-height library/office?) But, in all honesty, and with all due respect to Mister Howard who has more than earned his place in the pantheon of Tinseltown royalty, the day-core seems to this buttinsky property gossip on the grimly ordinary and even a bit stuffy.

Fer chrissakes, the (natural light flooded, step-down) formal living room has matching gold brocade sofas and a harp. A harp! This could easily be the formal living room of couple of pinch-fazed geezers. Nothing wrong we geezers, children. We know some and love some. Shoot, we practically are one. But high-nosed geezer traditionalism as a decorative style just does not vibrate positively with Your Mama or The Dr. Cooter or just about anyone else we know. But that's neither here nor there, so...

Other rooms include a formal dining room with mural covered walls, a den (or something) with a built-in aquarium next to the fireplace, the above mentioned double-height library/office, and a chef-friendly kitchen. There's also a billiard/game room, a gym, a yoga studio and, as one can and should expect of a deep pocketed movie maker, the Howard home has a home theater with a popcorn machine and modern versions of old-timey movie house chairs as well as bean bag chairs for the young and young at heart.

Set up on one of the property's higher points, an idiosyncratic and fully functional observatory silo with a professional grade telescope allows for stay-at-home stargazing. There's an indoor saltwater swimming pool—the Howards are a family of gingers, after all—plus a vast indoor sports complex with a full-sized tennis court, a half-court basketball court and a spa.

The there are formal rose and boxwood gardens, an organic kitchen garden, a greenhouse, barns and paddocks for the ponies and something called an "ivy-draped stone head house." Mister and Missus Howard also keep miniature horses, donkeys, sheep, alpacas, chickens, ducks, dogs, (more than a dozen) cats, fish, a bird and a tortoise, some of which, listing details indicate, may be available for adoption by the estate's next owner.

According to the WSJ Mister and Missus Howard have decided to part with their long-time primary home in Greenwich because all their children have moved out and because they're constantly on the move, shuttling between homes in Paris, Los Angeles—where they own a spacious, ocean view condo in Santa Monica, and New York City. In New York City—as one of the children kindly pointed out and which we did not previously know—the Howards own a spacious apartment in one of the towers of the spectacular El Dorado building on Central Park West and our research indicates they also own one bedroom pied-a-terre in a prime, pre-war building in the West Village that appears to have been offered for lease last year at $5,500 per month.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker

Robert Downey Jr. Adds to L.A. Property Portfolio.

BUYER: Robert Downey, Jr.
LOCATION: Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $2.5 million
SIZE: 1,950 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Although he needs another multi-million dollar residence in Los Angeles area like he needs an angry swarm of bees in his toothpaste, two-time Oscar nominated actor Robert Downey, Jr. has none-the-less shelled out exactly $2.5 million for a picket-fenced and high-hedged ranch-style house in the low-key but high-priced Huntington Palisades 'hood of Pacific Palisades, CA.

This property gossip don't know a shovel from a chaise lounge but the house, expensive by almost any standard but, perhaps, a bit modest for a man of Mister Downey Jr's standards and entertainment industry status, was probably acquired to house staff, friends and/or family. The corner property sits about as close to what amounts to downtown Pacific Palisades as a house can sit and listing details show the angled, single-story abode, originally built in 1947, is currently configured with four bedrooms and two bathrooms in 1,950 square feet.

Well-maintained hardwood floors run throughout the open concept main living space that includes a living room with fireplace and floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the backyard. The adjoining dining area is separated from the kitchen by a short snack peninsula, a double-wide, all-white galley-style situation with raised panel cabinets, white ceramic tile counter tops and higher-grade stainless still counter tops. The wood floors continue into all four bedrooms and both bathrooms appear to have been fairly recently remodeled, the larger with tile floors, a free-standing soaking tub and separate, glass enclosed shower stall.

A detached two-car garage was fitted and kitted by the seller as a recording studio. Frankly, we'd prefer a protected place to park our car but Your Mama can't sing a note or play any sort of instrument so a recording studio would be pretty useless to us. Anyways, that's neither here nor there since we're not the buyers of this property that includes a landscaped garden that wraps around the front of the house and a somewhat squeezy backyard with a concrete terrace that runs the width of the back of the house, a wee patch of grass, and a dark(er) bottom ozone pool with inset spa.

Mister Downey Jr.'s personal property portfolio of residential real estate also includes a contemporary crib in Rustic Canyon—between Pac Pal and Santa Monica—quietly picked up in early 2012 for 3.625 million and a seven-plus acre ocean view compound in Malibu with extensive equestrian facilities (picked up in September 2009 for $13.444 million. In the last several years he's purchased at least two properties on Venice Beach's busy and ever-so-trendy Abbott Kinney, a large and modern, live-work residence picked up in September 2009 for $5.6 million and a smaller and also modern three-story live-work-type townhouse snagged in late 2013 for $3 million. Yolanda swears Mister Downey Jr. also owns a shingled contemporary in The Hill section of affluent Manhattan Beach quietly purchased in July 2011 for $1.92 million and property records do show it connects back to one of his Venice Beach properties.

listing photos: Pardee Properties

Selena Gomez Lists Tarzana Starter House

SELLER: Selena Gomez
LOCATION: Tarzana, CA
PRICE: $3,495,000
SIZE: 6,630 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama would like to thank all the little birdies who chirped in Your Mama's ear today that Disney child star turned angsty and multi-talented young adult Selena Gomez put her starter home in Tarzana, CA, up for sale with an asking price of $3,495,000.

Miss Gomez acquired the property, when she was still a teenager, in July 2011 for $2,175,000.* Current listing details show the rambling, multi-winged residence—let's call it a California ranch meets rustic farmhouse meets a pastiched and more modern version of the same—sits on a gated and fully landscaped .83 acre parcel. The house spans a spacious 6,630 square feet with plenty of room to comfortably house a large family in half a dozen bedrooms serviced by seven full and two half bathrooms.

The house has horizontal clapboard siding on the lower level and vertical board and batten siding on the upper floor. The interiors are "designer done," according to marketing materials, and the center hall floor plan includes a formal living room with stone fireplace, a formal dining room with coffered ceiling, and a butler's pantry equipped and cook-friendly kitchen. An upstairs guest suite, wrapped by a balcony that overlooks the backyard, has a private exterior entry that conveniently facilitates over night house guests squirreling in strangers for—you know—whatever-whatever. (It shouldn't happen but when you got friends like Fiona Trambeau, well, these things happen. Anyways...)

Behind high fences, thick shrubbery and secured gates, lushly planted gardens border well-watered lawns and sweep around charcoal colored flagstone terracing that probably heats up like the dickens in the scorching summer sun. Listing photos show a built-in BBQ situation with sink and what may or may not be an ice maker along with a built-in fire pit next to a free-form swimming pool, an attached spa, a lighted sport court, and a pergola-shaded terrace tucked into the back corner for quiet conversations and contemplations.

Miss Gomez, now 21 and recently rehabbed, has decamped Tarzana for an even larger mansion in a small gated enclave in Calabasas that she picked up a month or two ago for $3.69 million. Before she'd even had the chance to run the dishwasher the first time some moe-ron breached the security and found his way to her guest house or some such craziness. When he got out of jail a few days later the damn fool did it again. They probably ought to keep the fella confined for more than a few days, but what do we know, you know? Naturally, young Miss Gomez subsequently installed additional security measures, probably and hopefully of the high-tech variety that will capture and really hurt a person if they so much as breathe in too close proximity to the property

*For about a hot minute Your Mama thought this house was briefly owned by Jonah Hill but upon further consideration and research that seems not to have been the case. Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

listing photos: The Agency

Thursday Pick Up Sticks

So snitched the long-legged blond at Trulia Luxe Living, new parents John Krasinski and Emily Blunt dropped $2.575 million on a walled, gated and recently refreshed contemporary crib on a double lot high above Laurel Canyon in Los Angeles, CA, in which to bring up baby. They already own a gated home above the Sunset Strip and a weekend getaway in Ojai.

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The property gossip lady at the L.A. Times reports today that pop star Pink sold her former home in Sherman Oaks, CA, for $3.218 million. As far as Your Mama knows the Pink-Hart family—she's married to off-road truck racer Carey Hart and they have one small child—reside in Malibu where in the fall of 2011 they paid $11,850,000 for a spacious gated abode in the Point Dume area.

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According to peeps at The New York Post Fashion designer Derek Lam and his partner in business and life, Jan-Hendrik Schlottmann‚ sold their sophisticated, three bedroom New York City duplex for $5.25 million, quite a bit less than the $6 million they originally wanted. (Fun tidbit: Rihanna rented in the building but no longer does.)

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In other low-profile celebrity real estate news, the Observer let the cat out of the bag about actress Heather Matazzaro listing her dollhouse-sized Midtown Manhattan studio apartment for $315,000.

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Your Mama dissed and discussed Detroit Lion Reggie Bush's triple-story party house high above L.A.'s Sunset Strip back in late 2009 when it was listed for $5,099,000. It's since had a makeover—or a make-under, depending on how one looks at it—and, we first read in the L.A. Times, was re-listed for exactly $6,000,000.

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The long-legged blond at Trulia Luxe Living also revealed earlier this week that comedic actress Nicole Sullivan—she starred on MadTV and later popped up on the regular as a dim-witted dog walker on the sitcom King of Queens—listed her quirky mini-estate in the Hollywood Hills for $1.699 million, a bit less than the $1.81 million she paid for it seven years ago.

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In case you missed it, British blues musician Joe Cocker listed his 243-acre ranch in Telluride, CO, with it's downright baronial mansion with an asking price of $7.85 million.

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As has already been reported far and wide, Orlando Bloom sold his house in L.A.'s Outpost Estates—the one made famous after it was burgled by the infamous Bling Ring—in an off-market deal for $3.9 million.

Your Mama Hears...

...from Peter Propertyseller that veteran rap artist, high-end headphones mega-mogul and, it seems, up and coming real estate baller Dr. Dre is about to drop a dead serious wad of dough for—are you sitting down, real estate piglets?—Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchens' much discussed eco-minded faux-French chateau in Los Angeles's leafy, wealthy and celebrity-approved Brentwood 'hood.

Even the most half-assed celebrity property watchers among us know that in late March of this year (2014), just six or so short months after the newly constructed estate in the guard-gated and celebrity-dotted Brentwood Country Estates enclave appeared in all its Old World (inspired) architecture meets state-of-the-art luxury glory in the glossy pages of Architectural Digest, the almost painfully pretty pair heaved the property on the open market to a tsunami of tongue wagging and ballyhoo with an official asking price of $50,000,000.

How much did Your Mama hear Mister Dr. Dre agreed to pay for the quarterback and the supermodel's posh property? Well, children, we can't confirm or deny the veracity of the dirt, but good ol' Peter Propertyseller, a trusted tattletale if there ever was one, told Your Mama that word on the Platinum Triangle real estate street is that the deal is set to go down for forty or maybe even $48 million. (Feel free to take a moment and/or take a deep slug of a stiff cocktail of your choice.)

In case any of you people thing this entrepreneurial fella can't afford a forty-something million dollar house, well, guess again, buckaroos, he can. The Forbes folk recently estimated Mister Dr. Dre holds down a net worth of $550 million. In other words the man is sick rich and well on his way to billionairedom. So rich, indeed, that he can probably seriously consider, as he told the people at celebrity juggernaut TMZ he was, the purchase of the the L.A. Clippers basketball team when the powers that be at the N.B.A. force owner Donald Sterling, along with a lifetime banishment, to sell the franchise as punishment for a private but recorded, leaked and overtly racist conversation he had with his much younger and—in a deeply satisfying and quixotic twist—multi-ethnic former mistress. You can't make this stuff up, children. Anyways...

Even before they made their union legal in the eyes of God and government in 2009, Mister Brady and Miz Bündchen paid $11.75 million in the late summer of 2008 for the then undeveloped 3.63 acre parcel that's just up the curved street from the home of action flick muscle man and former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. They engaged the in-demand services of renown L.A.-based architect and mansion specialist Richard Landry to custom-design a roomy and sumptuous residence for their expanding family. (They have two young children together and a Mister Brady has a son from a previous relationship.)

Official digital marketing materials show the imported limestone-faced chateau was completed in 2011 and has five bedrooms and nine bathrooms. Listing details go on about the "Old World European architecture" and the "state of the art amenities." Presumably it was an instant patina of dignity and history that was sought—some might argue successfully—from the estate's bevy of top quality materials that include vintage ceiling beams, antique floorboards and doors, salvaged ceramic tiles and bricks, marble fireplace surrounds, Vermont slate roof tiles, zinc gutters, and reclaimed cobblestones.

There as been a bit of confusion and discussion about how big this house actually is. In Architectural Digest (Oct., 2013) it was described as 14,000 square feet. However, many people think it looks much larger and, indeed, it has frequently been described in not always flattering media reports as weighing in at a more mega 20,000 square feet. (Miz Bündchen sits on the board of the Rainforest Alliance, was named Harvard's Global Environmental Citizen in 2011, and she's a designated Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP). So, some people thought it came off as a little excessive and maybe even hypocritical for a woman who so loudly and globally espouses the benefits of environmental sensitivity to build such a large home for her family of four/five, even if the damn thing is equipped with a few dozen solar panels on the roof.)

For the record, at least as the record exists for the L.A. Building Code people and the Los Angeles County Tax Man, the mansard-roofed main manse has a total of 11,230 square feet of interior living space with another other 2,516 in loggias, terraces and balconies. There is also, according to listing details, a 1,590 square foot fitness facility—the looks of which scares the bejeezis out of this lazy property gossip, a 135 square foot pool bath, a 1,360 square foot parking garage, a 630 square foot basement with mechanical equipment and another 837 square feet of loggias, terraces and covered walkways. All together, the indoor and outdoor living spaces—including the garage—total 18,298 square feet. Iffin we were the betting type, and we're not, we'd wager both our long bodied bitches, Linda and Beverly, that the 18,298 square foot number on file with the city and the county is probably how the rumored and generously rounded up figure of 20,000 square feet got started.

Mister Dr. Dre, clearly a bit of a real estate size queen, owns a couple of other rather large homes in Los Angeles that include (but are not limited to) a nearly 14,000 square foot mansion in Woodland Hills bought May 1999 $2.375 million and an 8,800 -plus square foot ocean front abode on Malibu's swanky Carbon Beach scooped up in October 2000 for $4,750,000. (In 2011/2012 the Mister Dr. Dre's beach shack was listed with little fanfare, first for $11 million and later for $12.5 million.)

Some of y'all may recall that in the latter days of 2011 Mister Dr. Dre shelled out $15,400,000 for an almost 10,000 square foot on a prominent promontory in the so-called Bird Street's 'hood high above the Sunset Strip. According to our dear Peter Propertyseller, that house is being surreptitiously shopped as a whisper listing with a $35,000,000 asking price. No babies, that is not a boozy typo. Peter really said $35 million.

As for Mister Brady and Miz Bündchen, apparently they're headed back east, from whence they came, to the affluent Boston suburb of Brookline where they're in the process of constructing a custom mansion similarly sized and equipped as the one in Los Angeles they're (allegedly) about to sell to Dr. Dre for an impressive price.

Just as an aside...The first thing Your Mama said to Peter Propertyseller when he passed along this delicious celebrity real estate canard was, "Shut up!" When we told real estate yenta Yolanda Yakketyyak she screeched, "I just fainted!" And quickly followed with, "Heidi Klum is pissed." (Miz Klum, herself a top-level supermodel in her day and nowadays an honest-to-goodness reality t.v. queen, purchased new digs last year and, hence, has her former mansion, a 12,000+ square foot pseudo-Tuscan villa that's all but directly across the private road from the Brady-Bundchens, available as a whisper listing with an asking price—so this property gossip hears—of $20,000,000. Maybe she should raise the price?)

listing photos: Westside Estate Agency (via Curbed)

(Producer) Richard Gladstein Sells Hollywood Spread

SELLERS: Richard and Lauri Gladstein
BUYERS: Anna Frick and Jeremy Carver
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,405,000
SIZE: 3,258 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Right about the time she inked an exclusive (and probably lucrative) deal to with 20th Century Fox Television in late Feb/early March (2014), according to Yolanda Yakketyyak, well-regarded television writer/producer Anna Fricke and her writer/producer hubby Jeremy Carver also inked a deal to buy a multi-million dollar residence in the Hollywood foothills. The sellers of the privately situated hillside spread, as per property records, were two-time Oscar-nominated movie producer Richard Gladstein and his wife Lauri.*

Your Mama's online research shows this estate-in-the-making must have been a hot property because it was listed in late January (2014) and sold just six short weeks later for $3,405,000, a somewhat shocking $506,000 over the $2.899 million asking price. (Didn't we tell y'all yesterday while discussing Meryl Streep's L.A. residence that the multi-million dollar market in Los Angeles is almost irrationally brisk? Anyhoo...)

Listing details show the Colonialesque Craftsman sits high on a half-plus acre lot on a private, gated street just above Hollywood Boulevard. The house was originally built in 1902, as per marketing materials and the L.A. County Tax Man, and has obviously been updated and upgraded over the last 100+ years. The humble-faced (if undeniably pricey and even a bit luxurious) 3,258 square foot house has been updated and upgraded and currently contains three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.

A black top drive sweeps up to a narrow plateau below the house and wide, shrub-lined brick steps ascend to the front door. As is customary in a house of this architectural milieu, formal living and dining rooms flack and center hall entry. The L-shaped formal living room has wood floors, a pitched ceiling sheathed in ship lath, and a cozy extension dominated and solidly anchored by a stone-faced wood-burning fireplace bracketed by narrow book shelves that, regrettably, reach almost but not quite to the ceiling.

The formal dining room, also with wood floors, has a nearly room wide multi-paned window with built-in bench seat. The sellers fearlessly mixed classically modern—white, molded plastic Panton and Saarinen chairs—with classically traditional—a Fortuny light fixture—with a whiff of the ancient and intellectual—a slightly disturbing knot of hand-carved figurines that may or may not be older than brand new and just may have been bought at some place like Pier One or World Market.

A relatively compact den/media lounge has a built-in entertainment unit with—one imagines—state-of-the-art a/v equipment and lots of shelf storage for CDs, DVDs, Blu Ray discs or whatevuh-whatevuh. There are side-lit French doors that open to a verdant sweep of garden and chevron pattern used brick floors, which Your Mama really enjoys. We also enjoy (and covet) the black and white chevron pattern rug and would happily have lay it down on the concrete-floor of our private office any day of the week. None-the-less, we feel dizzy from the cacophonous visual complexity created by that rug on that floor material. (Or maybe it's this morning's the Bloody Mary that's making Your Mama's eyes cross? But that's really neither here not there, is it?)

The wood floors in the front hall and formal living and dining rooms extends into a sunny and spacious combination kitchen/casual dining/family room where two long walls of floor-to-ceiling French doors open to green gardens. The cook-friendly center island kitchen has snow white Shaker-style cabinetry with glass-fronted uppers for in-your-face dish ware display, top-grade white-faced commercial-style appliances, and a melon colored tile back splash that we're certain will not resonate positively with more than a few of the children. The counter tops are impressively thick slabs of unknown material that Your Mama imagines all by themselves cost more than the housekeeper's late model Hyundai.

There are two guest/family bedrooms with en suite facilities on the second floor along with a city view master suite complete with separate, glass-wrapped sun porch and a fitted walk in closet. The attached master bathroom is well turned out in vintage style with honeycomb tile on the floors, white subway tiles half way up the walls, twin pedestal sinks surmounted by oval mirrors, and a claw-footed bathtub.

Although there's more than plenty of room for one, the property does not currently have a swimming pool. (It does, however, have a detached two-car garage.) Your Mama isn't so sure we'd want to spend almost $3.5 million for a house tucked up behind a bunch of ho-hum apartment complexes in Hollywood that does not even have a swimming pool. Then again, if you can spend $3.5 million for a house you probably can afford another couple hundred grand to install of killer custom swimming pool, right?

Some of the other homes in the immediate 'hood are owned, as per property records and other online resources, by Dame Helen Mirren, German-born filmmaker Roland Emmerich, art world mandarin Margo Leavin, four-time Emmy nominated producer/director Tony Krantz and American oil heiress/yoga instructor Normandie Keith.

*Miz Fricke made a name for herself writing for the show Dawson's Creek back in the early Aughts and has gone on to write and/or produce for Everwood, Men in Trees, and the American adaptation of  Being Human. Mister Carver's writer/producer credits include the sci-fi series Supernatural and the American adaptation of Being Human. Mister Gladstein's impressive list of producing credits include Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Cider House Rules, The Bourne Identity, and Finding Neverland.

listing photos: Deasy Penner & Partners

Meryl Streep Flips Out Above Sunset Strip

SELLER: Meryl Streep
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $6,750,000
SIZE: 3,500 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Although she bought the damn thing barely minute ago—in late Jan./early Feb. of 2013 to be more precise—prodigiously talented and gloriously faux-humble superstar actress Meryl Streep has put very contemporary home she owns (via trust) above the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, CA, on the open market, we first heard from one of the gals at Redfin, fully furnished with an asking price of $6,750,000.

Property records for and Your Mama's May 2013 dissection of the boxy and voluminous abode show the Sunset Strip residence last sold for $4.5 million. According to Your Mama's rudimentary calculations the current asking price of $6.75 million represents a fat and aggressive 50% increase in proposed value, less what ever amount applies to the houseful of top quality (if generically and inoffensively modern) contemporary furnishings. Listen, puppies, as ludicrous as that inflated figure might sound to some of y'all, this jaded property gossip recommends y'all don't get yer property pantaloons in an indignant twist before the chickens hatch. The multi-million dollar market in Los Angeles is brisk (and often speculative) and no one—and we mean no one—ought to be the least surprised if Miz Streep's real estate agent manages to find a deep-pocketed person who will gladly shell out an amount very close to the current price tag.

Current listing details show the 3,500 square foot residence has a fortress-like street façade and a total of four bedrooms and four sybaritic bathrooms with custom LED lighting schemes. There are Italian marble tile floors, vast expanses of glass that look out to a variety of patios and courtyards, an open-tread walnut wood staircase with sculptural railing, and numerous skylights that bathe to house in ambient natural light.

A discreet and secured gate near the front-facing two-car attached garage opens into a partially enclosed stairway that ascends to the front door. Inside the open concept main floor living space includes a partly double-height living room area with full-height rough hewn stone wall with fireplace and an adjoining formal dining area. The boxy and sleek kitchen is appointed with all the top grade whathaveyous (i.e. full-height wine cooler) that can and be expected of a nearly seven million dollar house above the Sunset Strip and opens over a center island to a compact informal dining area and a family room with built-in entertainment wall. A half-flight of stairs up from the family room is a flexi-use room—think home office or meditation chamber—with a full wall of glass that overlooks the swimming pool.

The elevated, walled and gated front yard serves as the primary outdoor entertainment and recreation area with a plunge-sized swimming pool and attached spa, big enough sunbathing terrace and a lounge area with what appears to be a chunky, low-profile built-in fire pit.

Listing details make a point to point out there is a smartphone controlled state-of-the-art security monitoring system and that looky-loos will not be tolerated as the property will only, with no exception, be shown by appointment to pre-qualified clients.

Miz Streep and her long-time husband, sculptor Don Gummer, have long owned a nearly 90 acre multi-residence compound in bucolic and historic Litchfield County, CT, and since 2006 have maintained a $10,000,000+ penthouse in in the same lower Manhattan complex where consciously uncoupling Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin also own an apartment.

listing photos: Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California