Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Your Mama Hears...

...from Peter Propertyseller that veteran rap artist, high-end headphones mega-mogul and, it seems, up and coming real estate baller Dr. Dre is about to drop a dead serious wad of dough for—are you sitting down, real estate piglets?—Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchens' much discussed eco-minded faux-French chateau in Los Angeles's leafy, wealthy and celebrity-approved Brentwood 'hood.

Even the most half-assed celebrity property watchers among us know that in late March of this year (2014), just six or so short months after the newly constructed estate in the guard-gated and celebrity-dotted Brentwood Country Estates enclave appeared in all its Old World (inspired) architecture meets state-of-the-art luxury glory in the glossy pages of Architectural Digest, the almost painfully pretty pair heaved the property on the open market to a tsunami of tongue wagging and ballyhoo with an official asking price of $50,000,000.

How much did Your Mama hear Mister Dr. Dre agreed to pay for the quarterback and the supermodel's posh property? Well, children, we can't confirm or deny the veracity of the dirt, but good ol' Peter Propertyseller, a trusted tattletale if there ever was one, told Your Mama that word on the Platinum Triangle real estate street is that the deal is set to go down for forty or maybe even $48 million. (Feel free to take a moment and/or take a deep slug of a stiff cocktail of your choice.)

In case any of you people thing this entrepreneurial fella can't afford a forty-something million dollar house, well, guess again, buckaroos, he can. The Forbes folk recently estimated Mister Dr. Dre holds down a net worth of $550 million. In other words the man is sick rich and well on his way to billionairedom. So rich, indeed, that he can probably seriously consider, as he told the people at celebrity juggernaut TMZ he was, the purchase of the the L.A. Clippers basketball team when the powers that be at the N.B.A. force owner Donald Sterling, along with a lifetime banishment, to sell the franchise as punishment for a private but recorded, leaked and overtly racist conversation he had with his much younger and—in a deeply satisfying and quixotic twist—multi-ethnic former mistress. You can't make this stuff up, children. Anyways...

Even before they made their union legal in the eyes of God and government in 2009, Mister Brady and Miz Bündchen paid $11.75 million in the late summer of 2008 for the then undeveloped 3.63 acre parcel that's just up the curved street from the home of action flick muscle man and former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. They engaged the in-demand services of renown L.A.-based architect and mansion specialist Richard Landry to custom-design a roomy and sumptuous residence for their expanding family. (They have two young children together and a Mister Brady has a son from a previous relationship.)

Official digital marketing materials show the imported limestone-faced chateau was completed in 2011 and has five bedrooms and nine bathrooms. Listing details go on about the "Old World European architecture" and the "state of the art amenities." Presumably it was an instant patina of dignity and history that was sought—some might argue successfully—from the estate's bevy of top quality materials that include vintage ceiling beams, antique floorboards and doors, salvaged ceramic tiles and bricks, marble fireplace surrounds, Vermont slate roof tiles, zinc gutters, and reclaimed cobblestones.

There as been a bit of confusion and discussion about how big this house actually is. In Architectural Digest (Oct., 2013) it was described as 14,000 square feet. However, many people think it looks much larger and, indeed, it has frequently been described in not always flattering media reports as weighing in at a more mega 20,000 square feet. (Miz Bündchen sits on the board of the Rainforest Alliance, was named Harvard's Global Environmental Citizen in 2011, and she's a designated Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP). So, some people thought it came off as a little excessive and maybe even hypocritical for a woman who so loudly and globally espouses the benefits of environmental sensitivity to build such a large home for her family of four/five, even if the damn thing is equipped with a few dozen solar panels on the roof.)

For the record, at least as the record exists for the L.A. Building Code people and the Los Angeles County Tax Man, the mansard-roofed main manse has a total of 11,230 square feet of interior living space with another other 2,516 in loggias, terraces and balconies. There is also, according to listing details, a 1,590 square foot fitness facility—the looks of which scares the bejeezis out of this lazy property gossip, a 135 square foot pool bath, a 1,360 square foot parking garage, a 630 square foot basement with mechanical equipment and another 837 square feet of loggias, terraces and covered walkways. All together, the indoor and outdoor living spaces—including the garage—total 18,298 square feet. Iffin we were the betting type, and we're not, we'd wager both our long bodied bitches, Linda and Beverly, that the 18,298 square foot number on file with the city and the county is probably how the rumored and generously rounded up figure of 20,000 square feet got started.

Mister Dr. Dre, clearly a bit of a real estate size queen, owns a couple of other rather large homes in Los Angeles that include (but are not limited to) a nearly 14,000 square foot mansion in Woodland Hills bought May 1999 $2.375 million and an 8,800 -plus square foot ocean front abode on Malibu's swanky Carbon Beach scooped up in October 2000 for $4,750,000. (In 2011/2012 the Mister Dr. Dre's beach shack was listed with little fanfare, first for $11 million and later for $12.5 million.)

Some of y'all may recall that in the latter days of 2011 Mister Dr. Dre shelled out $15,400,000 for an almost 10,000 square foot on a prominent promontory in the so-called Bird Street's 'hood high above the Sunset Strip. According to our dear Peter Propertyseller, that house is being surreptitiously shopped as a whisper listing with a $35,000,000 asking price. No babies, that is not a boozy typo. Peter really said $35 million.

As for Mister Brady and Miz Bündchen, apparently they're headed back east, from whence they came, to the affluent Boston suburb of Brookline where they're in the process of constructing a custom mansion similarly sized and equipped as the one in Los Angeles they're (allegedly) about to sell to Dr. Dre for an impressive price.

Just as an aside...The first thing Your Mama said to Peter Propertyseller when he passed along this delicious celebrity real estate canard was, "Shut up!" When we told real estate yenta Yolanda Yakketyyak she screeched, "I just fainted!" And quickly followed with, "Heidi Klum is pissed." (Miz Klum, herself a top-level supermodel in her day and nowadays an honest-to-goodness reality t.v. queen, purchased new digs last year and, hence, has her former mansion, a 12,000+ square foot pseudo-Tuscan villa that's all but directly across the private road from the Brady-Bundchens, available as a whisper listing with an asking price—so this property gossip hears—of $20,000,000. Maybe she should raise the price?)

listing photos: Westside Estate Agency (via Curbed)

23 comments:

Petra's said...

The house is indeed 14,000 square feet. I think everything Landry designs looks even larger than it already is - y'all can take that any way you please.

Anonymous said...

Isnt he the loser that just said he was buying the Clippers also??

Anonymous said...

So, there is someone dumb enough to buy that ugly crap?

Anonymous said...

I definitely don't think it's 14k. i've seen plenty of 14k homes and just looking at this place in the aerials tells me it's almost twice as bit.

anyway, holy overpayment Dre.

Anonymous said...

"Hypocritical" means Democrat and do as I say, not as I do.

Anonymous said...

OMG! You can't be serious. Not defending any side of the ideological fence here but one doesn't have to pay very close attention to know that neither Democrats nor Republicans have a lock on hypocritical. Like it or not, hypocrisy isn't hemmed in by anything as arbitrary and ephemeral as political affiliation.

Anonymous said...

As long as people are willing to overpay for horrible sounding headphones, he'll keep moving up the RE ladder. Honestly, though, those headphones are garbage.

Anonymous said...

The house was in Architectural Digest last year andthe editi called it one of the finest executed homes theyve ever featured. This house is for someone with taste not glitzy overdone tackiness.

Anonymous said...

love the house!!!

Anonymous said...

Whats the doc gonna do with that Hidden Hills land?

Anonymous said...

To quote ArchiSavant: Landry designs decorated warehouses.

What is with the fake dormers?! They are everywhere: Gores, Wahlberg, Bündchen & Brady...

Can't he design a roof that is something else other than a decorated cornice hiding the HVAC?

Anonymous said...

By the way...

Does anybody know where from are people taking the last photo of the house? A version of the photo appears in every photographic news agency's pictures of the house.

Is it taken from that land which you reach by turning right from Chalon Road before the mansion? There is some sort of empty, small, levelled land around?

Is that private property?

What is the name of that network of structures on the slope that I presume serves to stop erosion?

Anonymous said...

1:55 AD will publish anything with even a slight pulse, related to someone notable. Architectural Digest sold out years ago.

Anonymous said...

The decor of this house is amazing. TASTEFULLY done. Yes, a lot of famous people have tacky taste; but this one is far from gaudy and ugly. Father God, every freaking post that Mama shares is followed by hateful and over jealous losers who have nothing better to do that critique something they will never enjoy. I for once would love to see the decor of the run down shacks that the majority of the posters call home.

Anonymous said...

Why is he a loser? Because he's blk and rich?

nursedeb said...

oh it's decorated beautifully.
it's just too freaking BIG.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful home -- you get a much better idea of the decor here than in AD. I just don't like the land it's on.

Anonymous said...


Has Architectural Digest become just a glossy real estate For Sale advertising piece?

It seems like every time AD runs one of Ellen's houses, it's about to be listed. Now this monstrosity.

PS: Expensive doesn't always translate to good.

Anonymous said...

The actual decorating scheme is top-notch and finished beautifully, but the house itself is an overgrown hot mess. Garish and hideous. Plus, who pays $40 million to live in Brentwood?

Anonymous said...

The actual decorating scheme is top-notch and finished beautifully, but the house itself is an overgrown hot mess. Garish and hideous. Plus, who pays $40 million to live in Brentwood?

Anonymous said...

Yes, there is nothing over done or tacky about a stinky smelly moat. lol

Anonymous said...

I was fortunate enough to view this home when it hit the market, and the estate is absolutely spectacular. The use of old world accents and reclaimed materials is stunning (acid washed limestone, rich distressed woods, barrel and beam vaulted ceilings, wrought iron doors, herringbone dining room floors..). I have been to larger and more expensive homes (which can be very oversized and garish) but the Brady home is an excellent study in balance and proportion-- although the home tops 14,000 sq feet, it doesn't feel massive. The public and private living areas are appropriate scaled for an estate this large, and many are devoted specifically to the children ( I counted 4 different play rooms). The Brady family are asking a staggering amount for the home, but so do many other estates in gated communities throughout the Los Angeles area, and few rival in taste and comfort. The interior decorator is brilliant- and the grounds are lush and landscaped to precision. Mr. Landry deserves praise here- I have never been in so much awe-- and taken aback--by the luxuries enjoyed by the other half. The estate felt like a fairytale paradise and I would pay top dollar to vacation there.

Anonymous said...

What an ugly tacky house. Ugh, and who would pay 40mm to live in BRENTWOOD.

Ugh.