Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Yoko Ono Lists Loft-like Downtown Townhouse

SELLER: Yoko Ono
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $6,500,000
SIZE: 5,700+- square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Even at 80 years old, Japanese-born artist and peace activist Yoko Ono remains a vibrant and beloved treasure of the international avant garde. If any of the children have yet to see it and adore it Your Mama can't get enough of Miz Ono's recently released music videoBad Dancer, that features a giddy and chic slew of arty-farty folks like comedian Reggie Watts, radio personality Ira Glass, the Cibo Matto gals, and chanteuse Mx Justin Vivian Bond as well as Beastie Boys Ad-Rock and Mike D. Also featured is Roberta Flack who, in case any of y'all don't already know, happens to be not only a music industry mandarin of the highest order but one of Miz Ono's New York City neighbors.

Anyways, so the real estate story was told by the kids at Curbed—who now, technically, work for the people at a digital media concern called Vox—Miz Ono purchased a former horse stable turned capacious, multi-level townhouse-style cooperative apartment on a narrow, tree-lined block in the heart of New York City's West Village nearly 20 years ago. She bought it, apparently, for her her son, musician and composer Sean Lennon. Maybe it's not nice of us to say out loud—or maybe it's just a sign of our advanced age—but Your Mama thinks a person would have to live under a pop culture rock to not know Sean Lennon is the youngest son of the late Beatle John Lennon and the only child he and Miz Ono produced.

In April (2013), Miz Ono, who famously owns several apartments at the legendary Dakota building on the Upper West Side, pushed the suburban mini-mansion-sized downtown townhouse-type apartment on the market with an $8.995 million asking price. In late July the apartment was taken off the market and Miz Ono reportedly got into a kerfuffle with the building's board who, she claimed, attempted to block the sale of the property.

We're not sure if the dispute between Miz Ono and the board has been settled but over the weekend the obviously unoccupied apartment popped back up on the open market with a remarkably lower asking price of $6.5 million. Maintenance charges for the unit runs up to $5,331 per month according to online listings that also show the five-floor apartment has three bedrooms and three full and three half bathrooms in about 5,700 square feet of Old School New York loft realness with wood floors laid on the bias, rugged brick walls, exposed wood beams and columns, and a whole bunch of sky lights that brighten the über-urban spread with natural light.

Some of the other features Your Mama noted from a long study of the floor plans included with digital marketing materials include a rare and coveted private single-car garage with direct entry, a private street entrance and vestibule, (private) elevator access to three of the five floors, and about 2,500 square feet of (also private) outdoor space.

The multi-level main living area on the second—or third floor, depending on how one counts, stretches 46-feet with one end anchored by a row of street-facing windows and a behemoth brick fireplace and the other—booze-hounds will rejoice—with a built-in wet bar. A room-wide band of windows in the 400+ square feet dining room looks out to a narrow but long 270-square foot rear terrace. The generous if outdated adjacent kitchen has a center work island and an adjoining breakfast room that opens to the rear terrace.

Also located on the main living level are a powder pooper, a laundry room, a trio of coat closets, and a compact, street-facing library where a spiral staircase corkscrews up to a charmingly quirky guest or family bedroom suite comprised of a private bathroom and a sky-lit bedroom that flank catwalk-equipped central core.

Floor plans and listing photographs show master suite's complete with a fireplace—it's that simple black box in the wall; extensive closets and a dressing room with unfortunate but easily swapped shoji door panels; and a comfortably commodious compartmentalized bathroom with soaking tub, separate shower, double sink vanity, and a bidet .

The penthouse floor, accessible only by way of a second, tightly corkscrewed spiral staircase, contains a glassy, sun-splashed greenhouse with a dizzying overlook of the main living space two floors below as well as a crow's nest-y third bedroom and attached bathroom. Additional live/work space on the ground floor includes a bi-level suite with half bathroom and, down in the basement, a large, windowless room and half-bathroom.

In addition to the West Village townhouse-type co-operative and her collection of (co-operative) apartments at the Dakota building, property records show Miz Ono also owns a substantial rural compound in Upstate New York—not so far from tiny Oneonta—that Your Mama guesstimates encompasses well over 25 acres with three or four structures, several ponds, vast mowed lawns, and a swimming pool.

P.S. In case any of the children might like to revel in some art world heaven, here's a link to an amateur video with several clips of Momma Ono performing with Sean Lennon at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City this last September. For the record, children, Your Mama is not afraid to admit that we died a little—in the good way—when we watched. That bitch is 80 damn years old. Go, granny, go!)

listing photos and floor plans: Sotheby's International Realty


Anonymous said...

BAD is undoubtedly the word for anything she puts her name to. What does this woman do with her money for Philanthropy? Please do not tell me about some stupid space in Central Park. Shes going to meet her maker soon, and she knows it.I would never wish the tragedy she witnessed in front of her, and endured on anyone, however she has not used her after years for good. Shes looks every bit of 80 and them some Mama.

Anonymous said...

When I have a party and I want people to go home, I put on an old album of hers I picked up 30 years ago and bam! Place is cleared out within 10 minutes or less.

Kelly D. said...

Maybe she's an acquired taste or maybe she just has a really narrow appeal but I fuckin' love Yoko Ono. I pretty much hate this house tho.

Anonymous said...

In the book "Life at the Dakota" by Stephen Birmingham, published in the late 1970s, Miss Roberta Flack describes the challenge of moving a grand piano in through an upper window and into her apartment.

Rabbi Hedda LaCasa

Anonymous said...

Pianos are moved into apartments here every day. You're obviously not from the area.

lil' gay boy said...

An intriguing space, not to everyone's taste (like Yoko's art, I assume), but the celebrity provenance will obviously play a role in the final price.

Anon 11:03,

Our beloved Rebbe is from the tristate area; did you miss the key points challenge, grand piano & late 1970s?

Anonymous said...

mama does kimmy big butt bought doctor dre land???