Sunday, April 17, 2011

UPDATE: Alexis Bellino

Fasten your safety belts, butter beans, we're about to dabble in a little dangerous but delicious real estate schadenfreude.

Back in early December 2007 Your Mama filed our most recent installment on the ongoing real estate saga of The Real Housewife of Orange County's glitziest reality tee-vee proselytizer Alexis Bellino and her husband Jim, a businessman of some sort who may or may not have committed some sort of white-collar crime.

At that time the blinged-out but (allegedly) cash-strapped couple faced losing a custom-built 6,900 square foot luxury mansion in Newport Beach, CA into the bitter maw of foreclosure. It may interest some of the children to know that the shingled 6 bedroom and 5.75 pooper property happens to be in the very same fancy gated enclave on Newport Harbor where current tabloid catnip Nic Cage owned a bay front home that he sold in 2007 for around $35,000,000.

In early August 2010, a Notice of Sale was recorded for Mister and Missus Bellino's property that called for an auction date of August 25th, 2010 with a minimum bid of $4,619,188. The Mercedes and BMW-driving Bellinos somehow managed to hang on to the house but, alas, this would not be their only turn on the dizzying merry-go-round of foreclosure. Indeed, on the 18th of November, 2010 a second Notice of Sale was recorded with an auction date set for December 10, 2010 in Santa Ana, CA. The minimum bid, according to the docs we saw, was now set at $4,677,635.

Three short days before the scheduled auction ownership of the property was transferred from Mister and Missus Bellino to Global Marine, Inc., a "business entity" of which Mister Bellino was the president. The company's lone asset: unsurprisingly, the Bellino's Newport Beach mansion. At some point Mister Bellino and his subordinate blond bombshell mommy-wife Alexis reportedly negotiated a loan modification with JP Morgan Chase (or whatever they're called nowadays) that staved off a third auction scheduled for January 10th, 2011.

It wasn't long after the mansion was transferred to Global Marine, Inc. in early December, 2010 that the company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and on the 15th of March, 2011 Jesus Christ himself must have finally answered the Bellino's real estate prayers because the mansion transferred back from Global Marine to Mister Bellino who in turn–glory be–sold it the very same day but at a steep and terrifying discount.

According to public property records, in August of 2007 the oh-so-flashy Bellinos took a whopping $4,560,000 mortgage when they acquired the property and they first attempted to unload their money-hoovering white elephant in early 2009 when they heaved the beast on the market with a desperately optimistic asking price of $7,995,000. Over the years the property was de- and re-listed a number of times with ever shrinking asking prices. The last known price tag was $3,395,000 and property records show that that Bellinos sold the property for $3,000,000. That, hunnies, is an unimaginably bountiful basket of money by the financial standards of most folks but for Mister and Missus Bellino it was a mind-bending multi-million dollar bang to their (allegedly) deserted bank accounts.

Iffin we're being honest we'd admit that we aren't really sure where the Bellino's set up house after leaving Newport Beach. We suspect they're holed up in a large but less well-located an still expensive rental house waiting out the financial storm.

Wherever it is they alit, we'd like to sincerely offer Missus Bellino an entirely unsolicited word of advice: Listen here Glitter Kitty Glamor Puss, okay? Your husband, bless his heart, seems to be having some money troubles–he's not alone in the twist of this soured economy, of course–and you have three little blessings from God to feed and dress in designer duds so you got to milk this Housewife thing for all it's worth. Let's be honest doll-baby, this nitwitted I'm-a-dress-designer thing can only end in tears and embarrassment–can you say She by Sheree?–and it seems to Your Mama that you're not really qualified to do much else besides be a buxum reality tee- vee "star" with a sparkling set of veneers and a shiny mane of fake hair. What we're trying to say is you just keep shaking your toned and taut money maker on The Real Housewives of Orange County for as many seasons as Bravo will pay your sinful grown-up ass to act like a petty and falsely naive junior high school girl who thinks baby-talk is sexy and can't move her face due to an aggressive Botox regimen.

listing photo: The Stanaland Group

23 comments:

miss margo said...

First of all Mama ever body here at my house is sooo glad you are on the Twitter now.We can keep up with your tawdry tales sooo much better :)As for these OC floosies I love them and all their bitchy ways.I could not agree with you more about clueless Alexis. With seemingly no talent whatsoever,except for probably in the bedroom,she had better milk this Housewives franchise for all it is worth.The husband is some kind of shady and I never bought the whole Jesus thing.All a big smokescreen,just like the finances.I could not live with him and his condescending attitude but for about 37 seconds.Wonder how much Andy Cohen is paying these people to embarrass themselves on national tv? I hope well, because I just can't help but watch...

DCGuy said...

Oh Mama. How I love you so. "Can you say She by Sheree?" I just about spit out my Bloody Mary!

Suzy said...

The styling of the grounds and exterior makes it look almost like a public structure i.e. a town library perhaps. It's very attractive, imo, just doesn't look quite like a residence.

Jesse said...

The last paragraph had me in tears. Too funny.

Anonymous said...

Oh Mama I love you so! You tell it like it is! I have met these Reality "Stars" at a Star Magazine Party.. they fancy themselves up.. drive up to EL LAY acting all fabu trying to be fabu but not succeeding... They were the laughing stock of the party... Garish oh my what would Jesus say? Stay in OC..

P.S. they are also rude.. if you are fugly you better be nice.. but alas no such luck with Mr. and Mrs. Foreclosure

scarletlady said...

Hey DC guy...Me Too Me Too! I was doin a wake n bake whilst readin Your Mama this a.m.and when I read that She by Sheree line I dropped the damn pipe in the bed and nearly burned my ass up..but I did not care..it was worth it :)

Anonymous said...

Mama, I cannot tell you how gratified I am to see that you are human enough to feel the pleasures of schadenfreude where richly deserved. It is not appropriate for the purely unlucky and unfortunate but oh so appropriate for the richly deserving.

footie said...

Last night's episode of TRHOC showed Alexis giving Tamra a tour of this very house ("we moved over the summer") and she even gives the square footage -- 6,900. The kitchen, the "piano" room (dear lord) and master bedroom were all shown (and they supposedly hired a designer for the interiors). I guess things are much worse for them than currently being shown...

Anonymous said...

re: Mercedes and BMW-driving Bellinos, last year they were Maserati and Benz driving. So looks like the house isn't all they had to give up. The good news is, this season Jim gained a neck and a chin.

Before: http://thedirty.com/2011/01/exclusive-jim-bellino-of-the-real-housewives-of-orange-county-gets-a-chin-implant-and-neck-lipo/

After: http://thedirty.com/2011/01/here-are-pictures-of-jim-bellino-after-the-chin-implant-and-neck-lip/

DCGuy said...

Scarletlady - :-) xoxox from DC Guy!

Anonymous said...

The episode the other night when Tamra visited Alexis showed exterior shots of a house around the corner from mine. It's on Port Bristol in Newport Beach.

Anonymous said...

Their Schaden is giving me a hell of a lot of Freude...

Jugs for Jesus and Taliban Jim could not be more deserving. Unfortunately they have yet to move into the doublewide they so richly deserve.

Anonymous said...

Don't they earn about $3k per episode on the "Housewives"?

Hardly enough to maintain Jimbo & his 2 chins.

PS: Didn't you love the Beefcake
shot in Alexis' closet???

Jen said...

You mean the one of him lounging on the sand with his belt unbuckled? Hahahahah. He really thinks he's got it goin on!! The last I heard on what these babes make is starting rate per episode was 10K.

Hot Girls said...

At least Alexis is hot and can find a 3rd "real" rich new husband. Jim will be hanging out at local dive bars with spencer pretty soon i'm sure

Jessica said...

As Alexis always says: "God first, marriage second and children 3rd" So I'm guessing if they are ever too broke to keep paying their slew of nannies, they will just ditch the kids since they are only 3rd priority anyway, because did you see her trying to take care of them for just lunch? She almost lost her mind. I felt so sorry for them. She told her kids they were going somewhere and one of her kids said "will you come too?" And she said "No, mommy has to 'get ready' In other words, hell no, I can't wait to ditch you with these nannies so I get to enjoy vacation without you.

lil' gay boy said...

I know I'm older than most of you younguns but, frankly, I just don't get it...

Who cares and why?

anissa said...

Mama, you hit the nail on the head with this one - almost. Have you seen Taliban Jim? She doesn't need to have talent in the boudoir. She just needs to show up.

Sharon said...

Haha love the comments on Alexis.. so funny but so true... I do love the drama on the Real housewives shows though.. everyone needs a little bit of bad reality tv..

Anonymous said...

I am speechless that topless photo of Jim with his pants unbuckled was so Gross. There are no words.

Anonymous said...

Could you try writing without one adverb? You might need a 12-step program, Adverbs Anonymous, or something to break that bad habit.

PDQ said...

The house in the picture at the top of the post is in Bayshores which is a gate-guarded community. I'd guess that the Bayshores HOA wouldn't allow Bravo to do any outdoor taping on their streets - only interior shots.

Nic Cage isn't the only celeb who's lived in Bayshores. John Wayne had a bayfront home until his death. In the past, homes in Bayshores didn't even appear on the MLS - everything was sold through "pocket listings" by a handful of connected agents. It's a beautiful community and these people value their privacy. You can't even get Google Map street views of homes in Bayshores.

Anonymous said...

So when are you going to cover her new South OC Ocean front mansion? 8 car garage...recently featured on her facebook page in a article....