Friday, February 11, 2011

Disney Cash Cow Miley Cyrus Flips Florida Panhandle Penthouse

SELLER: Miley Cyrus
LOCATION: Panama City Beach, FL
PRICE: $1,968,750
SIZE: 4,400 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen chickens, today is a travel day and we don't have much time to linger. However, Your Mama does not like to leave the children high, dry and headed towards berserk without their celebrity real estate fix. So, before we pack up and put our long-bodied bitches Linda and Beverly into our big BMW and make the long drive up to Big Daddy's ranch we're going to have a quick discussion about the multi-million dollar condo that Disney's teenage cash cow Miley Cyrus recently sold down in Panama City Beach, FL, an area sometimes referred to as the "Redneck Riviera."

Being as old as the hills and averse to most things "Disney" Your Mama doesn't fall into the vast sub-category of tweens, teens and adults with juvenile musical taste who succumb to the talents and charmless charms of Little Miss Miley Cyrus. What little we know of the smoky-voiced salvia smoker we've learned through the gossip glossies and, just as with that Justin Bieber fella, Your Mama wouldn't know a Miley Cyrus song if it crawled up and kissed our fat ass.

What we do know is that Little Miss Miley earns tens of millions of dollars each year and although she's just 18 years old has started to buy and sell real estate like all those many other celebs who suffer from The Real Estate Fickle. Property records (and The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial) reveal that in December of 2009 a property trust known to be connected to Miss Cyrus became the proud owner of a spacious gulf-front condominium in Panama City Beach on the western end of the Florida Panhandle. The condo cost the teen queen, according the the records we accessed, $1,850,000.

Your Mama does not know a peach pit from a think tank so we haven't an iota about whether this real estate transaction has anything to do with the dee-vorce of her parents, but thanks to Patty Panamacityrealestateinsider we do know that Little Miss Miley changed her mind about the condo and flipped it back on the market. According to property records Patty provided Little Miss Miley sold the condo this week for $1,968,750. A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads on our bejeweled abacus shows that's an approximately six-percent gain of $118,750. Not bad for a young ladee not even old enough to enjoy a gin & tonic legally.

Our 1.5 minute internet search failed to turn up a property listing for Little Miss Miley's condo but we did locate a rental listing that shows it was available as late as December 2010 with a low-season rate of $2,460/week and a hefty $6,415 for the week of the July 4th Independence Day celebrations. The penthouse level condo measures around 4,400 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, 2 fireplaces and 2-dedicated parking spots in a secured garage.

The kitchen, open to the condo's main living and dining area, is well equipped with a 60-inch range with double oven, a built-in espresso machine, wine cellar and side-by-side SubZero fridge and freezer. The main living area has a wall of sliding windows that lead out to the 550 square feet of water-side terraces and a small but state-of-the-art screening room has a wet bar and 110-inch screen. The entire condo is wired with a smart home system that controls the televisions, audio and video systems and curtains.

Four of the five bedrooms have en suite facilities and the expansive gulf-view master suite includes a private study and a private sitting with faux stone fireplace, a morning kitchen, walk-in closet and large terliting and bathing areas with custom features like blown-glass sinks and a chroma-therapy spa tub. Sliding glass doors open the room to a water-side terrace with panoramic sunset views over the Gulf of Mexico.

The 10-unit condo complex sits just across the street from the and includes full-service amenities, a gulf-front swimming pool and spa and 240-feet of private white sand beach.

Listen kids, the so-called "Redneck Riviera" is just about the last place Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter want to spend a vacation but as it turns out we've actually twice been to this very stretch of sand and we can say with all honesty and sincerity that the beaches, the views and the ubiquitous fried food are just lovely.

Little Miss Miley spent her younger years on Singin' Hill Farm, a 500-acre spread in Thompson's Station, TN outside Nashville. She made a video of the house that she posted on her official website and can now be seen on the You Tube. At the risk of sounding pervy, Little Miss Miley spend a great deal of time with the camera in her dirty-ass bedroom that had clothes flung all over the floor.

When the Cyrus clan went Hollywood in 2007 they settled into a newly built faux-Tuscan mansion down a long gated drive in the upscale and celebrity packed Los Angeles enclave of Toluca Lake. The house, tucked up behind the home of one of Puff Daddy's baby mommas, measures 8,299 square feet according to The L.A. County Tax Man and includes 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms. Your Mama has no specific knowledge of such but there have been whispers and reports that the posh property will be sold off as a result of the dee-vorce of Little Miss Miley's parents Leticia and Billy Ray, he-ra of the 1992 country music hit Achy Breaky Heart.

In December of 2009, at just 17-years old, Little Miss Miley paid a very adult $3,400,000 for an estate just around the corner from her family's homestead in Toluca Lake that includes a 4,045 square foot main house, a swimming pool and tennis court.

Although there must be, Your Mama is not aware of any other celebrities besides Little Miss Miley who own homes or condos down on the "Redneck Riviera." What we do know is that the upscale Toluca Lake community claims a plethora of celeb residents including actor Eric McCormack (Will & Grace), Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry, not particularly funny comedian George Lopez, former Baywatch babe Brook Burns, actor James Marsden, Beverly Hills 90210 alum Jason Priestley, and Beverly Hills 90210 alum Jennie Garth and her man-mate Peter Facinelli (Nurse Jackie) who listed their huge house in June of 2010 for $5,995,000. Comedy's reigning king Steve Carell has long lived in the 'hood and recently shelled out $6,000,000 to buy the old Jonathan Winters house which he quickly razed to make way for his own Barbie Dreamhouse.

photos: VRBO

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

These tween posts make me wonder, when the child is the family breadwinner and buys a home that they're not old enough to live in on their own, who gets the master bedroom? The parents or the paycheck?

lil' gay boy said...

"Your Mama wouldn't know a Miley Cyrus song if it crawled up and kissed our fat ass."

Ditto, Mama; Justin Bieber? Miley Cyrus? Just who the fuck are they?

I guess it's time to grab my Zimmer frame and shuffle on outta the way of the next generation...

Rebecca said...

Britney Spears had a condo in Destin, if I'm not mistaken. The "Redneck Riviera" name is unfortunate. And in fact, there have been a great many Canadians choosing to visit there for decades, not just tourists from the neighboring southern states. More recently, of course, it became known to the Spring Break crowd and MTV.

My family has had a condo outside Destin for over twenty years, and I remember saying over and over again, "Don't tell anyone about this place, because it will get all overcrowded." Which is exactly what happened. Weekend evenings in the summer turn the 4 lane highway into a parking lot.

I can't tell you how much I hate what this coast has become, because that coast has the prettiest beaches in this country. Sand so white that they're called sugar beaches, and water so clear that you can see your feet in chest high water. Even better, it's warm Gulf of Mexico water. As far as I'm concerned, the Pacific is never warm enough for me to want to stick a toe into, and the Atlantic isn't much better.

For a small town area, there were fabulous restaurants. A movie theater, and lots of bars, meant there was always something to do after a long day at the beach. There was even a small outlet mall!

I miss it so much. I still go there, but I refuse to fight the high season crowds. I'll go to the beach, but then go straight home and stay there. Off season is not too bad, it's like high season used to be. But the water is too cold for me to swim in it, although the days are well warm enough to enjoy the beach.

StPaulSnowman said...

Long ago......Mama used to condemn fake greenery atop the wardrobe. Living on the west coast has clearly softened the old girl. And LGB, remember to pop some spent tennis balls on your Zimmer frame for added security.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Rebecca. I remember driving through Destin in the late 80's and there was nothing (!) there. now even the smaller beach towns in Walton County are all crazy and screwed up with people. I haven't been to the Gulf in many years as a result. I discovered that I actually do like some of the beaches on the Atlantic side. Cape San Blas is the about the last outpost of beach that hasn't been ruined on the Gulf. And it's a dog friendly beach!

Anonymous said...

Mama, I have been wondering why George Lopez was given his own show. Anytime I have seen him he was not funny. My word for the day is cantends. I cantends George Lopez is not funny!

Jeannified said...

Like Rebecca, I was gonna mention that one Miss Spears had a place in Destin for a short while.

Anyway, loved me some "Redneck Riviera" back in the day (the 80's that is.) I spent my high school spring break there in 85 or 86. (Can't remember, as the clouds of smokefogged up my brain!)

I haven't been back there since then, except to go to GUlf Shores, AL in 1990. That panhandle is beautiful, though, as far as the powdery white sand sugar beaches and emerald colored-clear, warm water goes. I was so beside myself when the oil spill happened. Glad it's been cleaned up.

I was thinkin' the same thing as StPaulSnowman, about that greenery, when I saw it. I thought to myself, "Yep, this place is decorated just like every other upscale beach condo down in Florida." "Klassy" with a "K!"

Mama, I always thought and am now CERTAIN that you are a southern belle! ;-)

Anonymous said...

I have spent many vacations in all the areas along the Florida Panhandle, but the place I love the very best is just east of Pensacola Beach. You can drive east on Hwy 399 just along the shore and for a solid fifteen miles you see nothing but sand dunes, sea oats, white sand, and the most beautiful blue-green water. This area part of a park and luckily this area has stayed just as Mother Nature made it for everyone to love and enjoy.

Put in Penasacola Beach, FL on Google Maps and look east, and don't tell another soul about this place please.

Phillip said...
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Anonymous said...

The condo in question is not in Panama City Beach, FL; it is in Seacrest Beach which is nearby.

Other celebrities who own real estate in the area include Britney Spears (Destin) and the infamous Karl Rove (Rosemary Beach).

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Anonymous said...

http://www.rentmyvacationhome.com/

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