SELLER: Miley Cyrus
LOCATION: Panama City Beach, FL
SIZE: 4,400 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen chickens, today is a travel day and we don't have much time to linger. However, Your Mama does not like to leave the children high, dry and headed towards berserk without their celebrity real estate fix. So, before we pack up and put our long-bodied bitches Linda and Beverly into our big BMW and make the long drive up to Big Daddy's ranch we're going to have a quick discussion about the multi-million dollar condo that Disney's teenage cash cow Miley Cyrus recently sold down in Panama City Beach, FL, an area sometimes referred to as the "Redneck Riviera."
Being as old as the hills and averse to most things "Disney" Your Mama doesn't fall into the vast sub-category of tweens, teens and adults with juvenile musical taste who succumb to the talents and charmless charms of Little Miss Miley Cyrus. What little we know of the smoky-voiced salvia smoker we've learned through the gossip glossies and, just as with that Justin Bieber fella, Your Mama wouldn't know a Miley Cyrus song if it crawled up and kissed our fat ass.
What we do know is that Little Miss Miley earns tens of millions of dollars each year and although she's just 18 years old has started to buy and sell real estate like all those many other celebs who suffer from The Real Estate Fickle. Property records (and The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial) reveal that in December of 2009 a property trust known to be connected to Miss Cyrus became the proud owner of a spacious gulf-front condominium in Panama City Beach on the western end of the Florida Panhandle. The condo cost the teen queen, according the the records we accessed, $1,850,000.
Your Mama does not know a peach pit from a think tank so we haven't an iota about whether this real estate transaction has anything to do with the dee-vorce of her parents, but thanks to Patty Panamacityrealestateinsider we do know that Little Miss Miley changed her mind about the condo and flipped it back on the market. According to property records Patty provided Little Miss Miley sold the condo this week for $1,968,750. A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads on our bejeweled abacus shows that's an approximately six-percent gain of $118,750. Not bad for a young ladee not even old enough to enjoy a gin & tonic legally.
Our 1.5 minute internet search failed to turn up a property listing for Little Miss Miley's condo but we did locate a rental listing that shows it was available as late as December 2010 with a low-season rate of $2,460/week and a hefty $6,415 for the week of the July 4th Independence Day celebrations. The penthouse level condo measures around 4,400 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, 2 fireplaces and 2-dedicated parking spots in a secured garage.
The kitchen, open to the condo's main living and dining area, is well equipped with a 60-inch range with double oven, a built-in espresso machine, wine cellar and side-by-side SubZero fridge and freezer. The main living area has a wall of sliding windows that lead out to the 550 square feet of water-side terraces and a small but state-of-the-art screening room has a wet bar and 110-inch screen. The entire condo is wired with a smart home system that controls the televisions, audio and video systems and curtains.
Four of the five bedrooms have en suite facilities and the expansive gulf-view master suite includes a private study and a private sitting with faux stone fireplace, a morning kitchen, walk-in closet and large terliting and bathing areas with custom features like blown-glass sinks and a chroma-therapy spa tub. Sliding glass doors open the room to a water-side terrace with panoramic sunset views over the Gulf of Mexico.
The 10-unit condo complex sits just across the street from the and includes full-service amenities, a gulf-front swimming pool and spa and 240-feet of private white sand beach.
Listen kids, the so-called "Redneck Riviera" is just about the last place Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter want to spend a vacation but as it turns out we've actually twice been to this very stretch of sand and we can say with all honesty and sincerity that the beaches, the views and the ubiquitous fried food are just lovely.
Little Miss Miley spent her younger years on Singin' Hill Farm, a 500-acre spread in Thompson's Station, TN outside Nashville. She made a video of the house that she posted on her official website and can now be seen on the You Tube. At the risk of sounding pervy, Little Miss Miley spend a great deal of time with the camera in her dirty-ass bedroom that had clothes flung all over the floor.
When the Cyrus clan went Hollywood in 2007 they settled into a newly built faux-Tuscan mansion down a long gated drive in the upscale and celebrity packed Los Angeles enclave of Toluca Lake. The house, tucked up behind the home of one of Puff Daddy's baby mommas, measures 8,299 square feet according to The L.A. County Tax Man and includes 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms. Your Mama has no specific knowledge of such but there have been whispers and reports that the posh property will be sold off as a result of the dee-vorce of Little Miss Miley's parents Leticia and Billy Ray, he-ra of the 1992 country music hit Achy Breaky Heart.
In December of 2009, at just 17-years old, Little Miss Miley paid a very adult $3,400,000 for an estate just around the corner from her family's homestead in Toluca Lake that includes a 4,045 square foot main house, a swimming pool and tennis court.
Although there must be, Your Mama is not aware of any other celebrities besides Little Miss Miley who own homes or condos down on the "Redneck Riviera." What we do know is that the upscale Toluca Lake community claims a plethora of celeb residents including actor Eric McCormack (Will & Grace), Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry, not particularly funny comedian George Lopez, former Baywatch babe Brook Burns, actor James Marsden, Beverly Hills 90210 alum Jason Priestley, and Beverly Hills 90210 alum Jennie Garth and her man-mate Peter Facinelli (Nurse Jackie) who listed their huge house in June of 2010 for $5,995,000. Comedy's reigning king Steve Carell has long lived in the 'hood and recently shelled out $6,000,000 to buy the old Jonathan Winters house which he quickly razed to make way for his own Barbie Dreamhouse.