Monday, July 12, 2010

Gwynnie Loves Her a Pink Pastel

Your Mama always thinks it's a hoot and a half to have a wee look-see at the always done, done, done day-core of any of the many residences owned or occupied by Oscar winning ack-tress Gwyneth Paltrow because, you know, beehawtcha really gets serious about letting it fly when it comes to working over the interiors of her inner sanctums.

In between thumbing through the latest issue of the The New Yorker and kicking some Chow Lee ass on our iPhone Scrabble application yesterday, Your Mama received an unexpected but delicious dispatch from Iphuhgeenie Ipakacker who thoughtfully aimed Your Mama's admittedly limited attentions towards a blog called The Happy Home. The Happy Home gal, through a process of deduction and cross referencing, managed to ferret out a small photographic cache of good ol' Gynnie's downtown New York City penthouse pied a terre.

Gynnie's homes always look undeniably pretty, well conceived and finished, if a bit unnecessarily theatrical at times. However, iffin Your Mama is being honest–and we always are–they often look to our beady, untrained little eyes more like the sort of picture perfect palaces where a gussied up gal like Gynnie might have her photos snapped for a glossy celebrity promoting publication then they do actual homes.

The rigorously restrained, romantic, and sophisticated if somewhat sterile interiors of Gynnie's downtown New York digs where all done up and did over in a heavily textured and muted palette of pinky pastels, gleaming whites, and shimmering silvers by the former film set designing duo Robin Standefer and Stephen Alesch whose New York City-based full service firm is, for some reason unknown to Your Mama, called Roman and Williams.

Gynnie and Chris's crib New York City aerie, located in the same building as the fabulously faux-humble and wickedly talented actress Meryl Streep, is hardly the only high profile project or home of a celebrity worked over by Roman and Williams. They are the design minds responsible for the renovation of the Royalton Hotel in New York, the quirky but faboo 211 Elizabeth Street residential building–also in New York–that's home to actor Gabriel Byrne (In Treatment) and budding singer Alexa Joel (Billy's daughter), the 4-floor Venice, CA home of Elisabeth "Lisa" Shue and her Oscar winning documentary film director husband Davis Guggenheim (An Inconvenient Truth), the sprawling Los Angeles compound owned by Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor, and boho-glam/hippy-chic west coast abode of actress Kate Hudson.

According to their website, Roman and Williams completed the "total strip down to stud and redesign" of a TriBeCa penthouse for "an actress, her musician husband, and their children" in the winter of 2008. The 4,479 square foot aerie, which the peripatetic Paltrow-Martins purchased in March of 2007 for $5,146,538 according to the peeps at Property Shark, has 3 bedrooms, 3.5 poopers, a slim terrace off the master bedroom and a slightly less slim terrace accessed through the living/dining room as well as the super-sleek, eat in kitchen with it enviably chunky marble counter tops.

Listen chickens, it's all a bit precious, fussy, and far too self-consciously feminine for Your Mama's particular and delicate decorative tastes, and we find some of the bits and pieces a bit hokey and recherche–like that silly porch swing-thing in the living room fashioned from an antique Indian door–but in the end Your Mama doesn't question the genuine decorative talents of the Roman and Williams folks whose abilities should not be judged only on the crisp and cleaned lined but somewhat belabored lady-like interiors of Gynnie's penthouse outpost in downtown Manhattan because, on the other hand, the day-core of both Ben Stiller and Lisa Shue's Los Angeles homes are spectacular.

Can any of the children see the very laid back seeming Mister Martin padding around in his dirty socks in this not particularly casual penthouse? We can't either.

photo: Roman and Williams via The Happy Home

19 comments:

Madam Pince said...

Gwyneth Paltrow has elevated self-absorption to an art form. Apple & Moses should use this photo to demonstrate their mother's chilliness when lying on a therapist's couch in 20 years or so.

lil' gay boy said...

Despite the dumb door-into-porch-swing fiasco, this aerie certainly has decent bones; one can see that the undeniably talented Miz Cow-trow, um, I mean Paltrow, certainly knows how to stage her life...

...and that's just what it is, from her musician husband, to her weirdly named kids, to her just-a-little-too-perfect home decor, that ridiculous blog and even her annoying nasal laugh (which only serves to highlight her stunning lack of humor; oh how I love when Letterman tweaks her) ––– it's all staged. Not a shred of reality in any of it.

Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase, "The medium is the message..." In this case I'd say the message is that nobody's home. I guess you might infer that she's never been my favorite flavor.

Love her mother, though!

Class factotum said...

That is not the space of someone who has children who are allowed out of their bedrooms.

Anonymous said...

GORGEOUS
I NEED THAT PLACE. LIKE RIGHT NOW.

Jen said...

Can any of the children see the very laid back seeming Mister Martin padding around in his dirty socks in this not particularly casual penthouse?

Yeah I can actually. Especially since I know nothing of his at-home rites and rituals. Maybe you have some inside info, Mama?

Anonymous said...

For Mr. Martin it must be kinda like living in your wife's panties (pink of course). But, hey, isn't that what Prince Charles told Camila he wanted to do? PS: I do think a book or two here and there would utterly ruin the effect. Glad she hasn't tried it.

Village said...

Don't LEEEAAAAAAAAN back. Is this how she gets her abs?

I can see all kinds of uses for the swing.

Anonymous said...

When is Gwynneth coming out with a book on how to have a good relationship? Ick.

Anonymous said...

Glad this is working again. I tried posting and re-posting a total of 8 comments over the weekend and earlier today, none of which showed up, even though I got a message each time saying my comment was saved pending your review. Since no comments were added over the weekend from relatively early last Friday until now, I imagine I'm not the only one who experienced a problem. This has happened a number of times in the past too, just so you know.

StPaulSnowman said...

I suspect it will be published shortly after Michael Stipe's guide to ice hockey.

Anonymous said...

Bland boredom, pretentious and expensive....just like the eternally bland couple themselves. With this kind of an interior their daughter will probably (HAVING NEVER SEEN A REAL LIVING THING) probably identify herself as a Macintosh or Delicious ...and take a bite out of herself.

belinda said...

cheers for the credit. and traffic!

ewe said...

It does nothing for me.

angie said...

I apologize for my numerous repetitious comments on the last few articles . I thought they were being lost, and didn't expect they'd ALL come flooding back, lol.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

I see exactly ONE comfortable seat in the living room. No one lives really lives there, right? It's like it was staged for a magazine and nothing else.

organbrett said...

I do love the wallpaper on the ceiling effect that you have going through the hall into the Master Bedroom.

I thought the Tree bed for Apple was a little nightmare inducing until I looked at the picture "blown up" and noticed the bird's nest in the middle of the branches. Genius! I guess the butterlies on the wall help tone it down too! Of course it would look spooky in the dark!

When I was a kid, I found some glow in the dark paint for my walls and thought it would be cool to paint eyes, etc. When dark came, I had the hall light on bright with my door open for years after that fiasco! Can anyone say, DUMB?!

SICKITTEN said...

Went through this a year ago being a big Gwyneth "fan". The Happy Home assumes it is Gwyneth's home but further investigation proves it is not. They are pics from the designers who showcased another home in the new towers Gwyn & Chris moved into. It isn't their home. Gwyn doesn't have good taste if you've seen the Nashville apt. she designed. Happy Home is the only source that claims this to be Gwyn's home. She's wrong.

SICKITTEN said...

Scratch that. Guess they moved into it a/it was a designer's showcase home. Can't blame them.

Adams said...

This is pretty much what I dream about. I'd put in some sweet landscaping and a giant pool. Lee Majors would be at our first barbeque. Way overpriced but it's only money. SOLD.