Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Jane Fonda Lists Atlanta Loft


SELLER: Jane Fonda
LOCATION: Atlanta, GA
PRICE: $4,500,000 or $10,000/month
SIZE: 4,700 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last week Your Mama discussed some recent real estate news about icon, actress, activist and disturbingly prolific fitness video maker Jane Fonda. We blathered on about how the two time Oscar winning Miz Fonda looked at every for sale apartment in the star studded Sierra Towers building in Los Angeles before finally settling on a rental...a 1 bedroom and 1.5 pooper rental. A 1 bedroom rental seems a little downmarket for the ex-wife of a billionaire, but if we've said it once Your Mama has said it a thousand times: Who are we to question or comprehend the real estate ways of the rich and famous.

Now word comes slipping and sliding down the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine that Miz Fonda Vadim Hayden Turner has hoisted her Atlanta loft on the market with an asking price of $4,500,000. She's also put the place out for lease at $10,000 per month. We first heard about this two days ago from Blanca Blurtsitout and over the last couple of days so many children in Atlanta, including Georgia Peach, Anita Tellyousomething, and Candi With An I, have been kind and sweet enough to also fill Your Mama in on this real estate event.

Miz Fonda–an outspoken and controversial broad who is a bona fide Hollywood royal–has occupied her Hotlanta loft since she split from billionaire media tycoon Ted Turner in the year 2000. As best as Your Mama can suss and surmise based on dribs and drabs forwarded by various children and listing information provided by Blanca Blurtsitout, the approximately 4,700 square foot duplex digs were fashioned by joining four adjacent lofts in a mid-rise condo building in the Poncey-Highland area of Atlanta. The west facing crib has, according to listing information, 3 bedrooms and 3 poopers, 2 fireplaces, underground parking for 4 cars, and 2 balconies.

The loft is entered through a quilted stainless steel door that opens to the entrance hall. Barbarella, who has posted bazillions of juicy photos of her loft on her blog, says of her mauvish-fleshy colored entrance hall with its undulating walls, "To me it is a womb with a narrow birth channel and then you enter the wide open sunny loft to be born again." Uhm. Jane. Darling. Hunny. No. If you want top dollar for your big ol' condo in Hotlanta–and we imagine you do because you've slapped a huge number on it–Your Mama does not recommend comparing your foyer to intimate ladee parts.

After getting through the birth canal, one enters the main living area, a somewhat narrow but expansive, double height space with painted (or maybe stained) concrete floors and giant windows that suck up the sunset views. The vast room is divided into the three areas: At one end, a white sofa faces a fireplace surrounded by a soaring stack of bookshelves filled with actual books; In the middle, two armless white sofas face each other like a decorative Mexican stand off with some sort of totem statue thing acting as referee; At the other end, a dining area has two Indonesian looking tables that have been shoved together and encircled with swoopy white leather chairs. On the wall behind the dining room table hang 8 multi-colored Andy Warhol screen prints of Lady Jayne herself. Listen chickens, if Miss Warhol had painted Your Mama we certainly would have no qualms about hanging one of them suckers up in the powder pooper or maybe in the hallway, but eight of them damn things up on the wall all together just feels, sorry Janie hunny, more than a little narcissistic.

Anyoo, the kitchen, separated from the dining room by a pair of glass doors, is a well equipped but somewhat claustrophobic and windowless space with white and stainless steel cabinetry, granite counter tops, four stainless steel saddle style stools, double ovens and what looks to be a picture of Christ.

A curving staircase follows the outside wall of Miz Fonda's womb-like entrance hall and climbs to a large landing lit by a circular skylight. Miz Fonda's private quarters include a pooper, dressing room, a fireplace with a, uhm, u-neek glass surround, and an a bed with bedazzled linens and a oval-shaped canopy with wood tassels. According to Miz Fonda's blog, there's a mirror tucked up there in that oval shaped canopy. Your Mama thinks that's one of the ass-ugliest beds we have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on but we gotta hand it to the sexy senior citizen: There's only one reason Your Mama can think of that a person might want a mirror mounted di-rectly above their bed and to that we say, "Go Jane, Go!"

Iffin Your Mama is being honest–and we always are–we'd say that we are, for all intents and purposes, completely ignorant of property valuations in and around Atlanta. But we are adept at tapping our fingers on the keyboard of our trusty laptop computer and a little looky loo around the interweb shows that there are at least 4 other units in Miz Fonda's former building on the market with asking prices ranging from $165,000 to $299,900 for a 2-story, 2 bedroom, 2 pooper top floor unit with 18-foot ceilings, polished concrete floors and a private balcony. We realize that Miz Fonda's digs are at least 4 times the size of one of those other for sale units but it's also priced 15 times more than the next most expensive unit. Hmm.We'll let out Atlanta based real estate experts duke that one out.

Miz Fonda stated on her blog that part of the reason she's decamping to the west coast is because she wants to make more movies. Well, good for her. Plus she's "in a loving relationship" with L.A. based music producer Richard Perry. Your Mama thinks, based on our internet research, that Mister Perry lives in house in the lower Bird Streets that's conveniently just a hope skip and short chauffeur driven ride from Sierra Towers. Miz Fonda also owns Forked Lightening Ranch, an approximately 2,000 (or maybe 3,000) acre spread near Pecos, New Mexico.

photos: Nathan Martin

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm expecting to see Cindy Lou from Whoville, to walk around the corner...

Anonymous said...

I kind of like the glass fireplace.

Anonymous said...

Is that a microwave oven on the counter top in the kitchen?

Madam Pince said...

Have mercy; that bed is hideous.

Anonymous said...

I love me sum Jane, and the condo looks nice enough. But the bed! Lordy, chirruns -- the bed!

WrteStufLA said...

Asking $4 million - not a prayer. For than kind of money in Atlanta, one can get the ATL version of Candy Spelling's new penthouse digs. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mama, holy cow, when I saw those photos I just could not wait to see what you were going to say.
As always totally enjoyed your commentary. Regards from one of your chickens

Anonymous said...

$4.5 MILLION? She bounced her head around too much with those crazy aerobics. Klute!

Anonymous said...

Is that me, or that bad is abit too tall for the ceiling in the room? Looks like it's being squeezed. Painful.

Anonymous said...

Her explanation about the mirror placed strategically above the bed from her blog:

"There’s a mirror under that oval canopy with wooden tassels. I’m the only person I know with a glass fireplace! The light from the fire bounces off it and reflects and is gorgeous."

So you see, there's a perfectly innocent explanation for the mirror. She just wants to see her fireplace. ;-)

I'm not a fan of the bed but that all glass fireplace mantle looks kind of cool.

Maimou said...

As a born and bred Atlanta peach, all I can say is Gracious goodness! Bless her heart, with all that money, she could have hired a nice, gay decorator (and my hometown abounds with them, I tell you!) to do something with the perfectly decent bones of that place. Well, as my daddy used to say, there's no accounting for taste (or lack thereof).
And the price! I still read the hometown rag online, although I departed Peachtree Street and its environs a few years ago, and Atlanta real estate is wilting like a wallflower at the cotillion. Good luck, Janie. You are certainly gonna need it.

Anonymous said...

Good luck Janey. You'll need it. What a dump!

Simone said...

The burning question here is: does Ted Turner come with it?

Anonymous said...

Mama, I agree the Warhols are narcissistic. The bed is heinous. I live in the ATL, where developers are practically giving condos away because the market is weak and depressed. I know there is a bit of cache in buying a loft previously occupied by Ms. Fonda, but I think her asking price is too high. I'm glad the haters haven't bombarded your comments section with nasty remarks regarding Hanoi Jane!

Candi said...

Thanks for the shout out Mama. Enjoying gin and tonics on the veranda here in sunny Hotlanta. Luv ya, mean it. TTFN

Anonymous said...

I disagree with Jane on just about everything. But she's extremely talented and I bet she's a lot of fun to know. Glad to have her back in LA. Hope she gets a ton of dough for her condo. Not my taste, but someone will love it.

Village said...

Referring to the 1 bedroom Fonda bought in LA, she is probably waiting to find her perfect home, or to sell her loft, but not at that price, I agree. (That area used to be for the drug trade and street walkers, and houses were maybe $50,000, a lifetime ago.)

But as an original occupant of the CNN Center LONG before CNN arrived, did you know that she and Ted Turner built a 1,000 square foot apartment on top of the CNN Center? They lived there throughout their marriage when they were in Atlanta, so she is not a stranger to small spaces.

And that bed! Holy Moly! Maybe it is bolted to the ceiling in case of, um, earthquakes. I'd be afraid it would fall on me during the throes of passion.

rerun said...

hey from hotlanta! the location is also odd: i know jane loves to be down to earth, but unless that thing is on the edge of midtown (our arts/queer friendly/most walkable area) then that price is even more of a disaster. if it were in buckhead, she'd at least be in striking distance of that asking price. thanks for showing us some love. raising my glass of hendrick's and tonic to you-rerun

Carla Ridge said...

That 'birth canal' portal to the Living Room might have sounded like a hoot on paper, but it probably loses its effect about the 34th time you get 'Born Again'. Hey wait, maybe that's where she got the idea to find Jeezus!

There's also a gag in there somewhere about "Foyer-al Rejuvenation" but I can't quite put my finger on it, LOL.

Anonymous said...

The loft is stunning, I live in the building and it has won numerous awards, its due to the sinking economy that the "asking prices" now are so low. Its excellent structurally and of course Jane put alot of extras and non standard items in her place, the view itself is worth the price. Don't hate! If I had ANY warhol, let alone 8, I too would have that proudly displayed, how many of you own one?

Viva! said...

That price has to be a joke right? The real estate agent accidentally added a zero to the pricetag?

Not worth it, at all.

Chris said...

Rarely do I disagree with Mama, but I do this time in several regards.
1. I think her womb image opening out into a sunny world is just fine and dandy, AND quite clever. After all it's her house and if that is the way she sees it, that's her perogative.
2. Warhol prints of Liz, and Marilyn, etc., were all done in sets of 8 or 10 or 12 each with a different coloring and you were supposed, if you could afford it, to buy the whole set. So it is not really narcicism.
3. The bed is meant, doubtless, to be a decorative "folie" and I think it witty.
4. The only thing I'd change is so much white furniture. I'd "de-whiten" the decor a bit.

Jeannified said...

Well, I am from Atlanta, though I have lived in San Diego for alomost 20 years now. I still go back all of the time. Going in June, again.

Looking at this building...meh. Ther interior...still deciding. $4.5 million dollars...OUTRAGEOUS!!

Good luck to Jane in getting her price, but I doubt that's gonna happen. There are alot of "uppity" Atlantan's, but I can't see someone coughing up that kind of money for essentially a condo, even if it IS almost 5,000 square feet! People who have that kind money to burn are gonna want a big Atlanta mansion, not an outrageously priced condo!

Mabel Simmons said...

Well chirren they do call Hotlanta the New York of the South. Now they got the New York prices too! Earth to Barbarella!

macey said...

I'm surprised more people didn't howl and wail at the decor. I'm shocked that Jane Fonda decorated the place the way she did. It feels like an office building. Cold. Some touches are nice but overall to me it's actually pretty horrible. Wrong location, wrongly decorated, asking too much.

Anonymous said...

I agree that price ask is outrageous! Maybe if she threw in the Warhols...

Village said...

I'd love to know the maintenance on that puppy. Some $100,000 condos in Atlanta have $350 monthly maintenance and $4000 annual RE tax bills.

Anonymous said...

That place is ugly enough to make the most die-hard sixties liberal commit suicide by watching Fox News without food or sleep until flatlining.

If you turn around in the foyer and leave, have you performed an abortion on yourself?

Anonymous said...

She would be lucky to get $1.3 million or $4,000 a month. This neighborhood has come a long way in the last 10 years, but it's not anywhere near her expectations.

Anonymous said...

To update, the asking price is down to 1,900.000.00, down about 57 percent in a year, which indicates she's ready to go.

The place will never appraise for the only other comp in the building is a short sale at less than two hundred grand, but someone with some cash will buy it, for although it's overpriced, she's getting closer.

I think it's sad, for honestly, despite her faults, Atlanta was a little the better to have her.

LC said...

Opps,

My mistake, asking price is $1950,000.00.

And to answer Village's question,according to FMLS, the monthly HOA for the unit is $1390.00, which includes Insurance, Maintenance and Security and other??

Taxes are $21,821.00 annually, so HOA and taxes for the property us $38,501 annually or $3208 a month.