Posts
ABC News took some fun footage of the surprisingly lackluster interior of smoky voiced Candy Spelling's Holmby Hills house that she recently heaved on to the market with a coma inducing $150,000,000 asking price. We thought the children might like having a peep around what is thought to be the largest private residence in California.
In the video we get to see the impress the guests style entrance hall with its double height ceiling, twin curving staircases and a chandelier the size of a Volkswagen. There's also video of a Renoir painting, a paneled office/library, a game room that looks like something in the basement of a mid-priced hotel, a doll museum the size of most people's homes, a two lane bowling alley, the flowery breakfast room, the dining room where there is another stupendously sized chandelier, and the kitchen, a room we're certain Miz Spelling never enters except to grab a carton of ciggies out of the freezer.
Okay, we don't really know if Miz Spelling smokes, but her voice sounds like she's been smoking since she was pre-pubescent.
In a recent interview on ABCs 20/20 program–which we've yet to find in it's entirety online, we learned that Candy Darling does not know how exactly many rooms or bathrooms there are in her hotel sized house–a fact sure to piss off the terlit gurls, has a new book coming out called Stories from Candyland, has dozens of collections of expensive tchotchkes, has never met her granddaughter and, shockingly, claims not know where her daughter Tori lives.
She lives in a big house in Encino, hunny. Give Your Mama a ringy-dingy and we'll slip you the address.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
UPDATE: Isaiah Washington
Way back in July of 2007, Your Mama discussed the Hancock Park adjacent condominium that too big for his britches ack-tor Isaiah Washington listed and sold in the aftermath of his very public and had to be humiliating heave-ho from hospital drama Grey's Anatomy.
At the time, it was posited by a real estate gossip or two that Mister Washington and family might pack their bags and head back to Houston, TX where records show they own a 4,653 square foot house on Vintage Centre Drive.
However, as it turns out, they stayed in Tinseltown and moved into a newly built and pricey rental property facing the Sherman Canal in Venice, CA. That should have been the end of that, particularly since it looked like Mister Washington was managing to right his professional boat with a recurring role on the short lived and universally panned Bionic Woman boob-toob remake as well as lead roles in two upcoming films.
But alas. It seems the drama sticks to Mister Washington like gum to the bottom of a shoe. According to Perez Hilton (via Radar), Mister Washington and family have been evicted from their Sherman Canal rental for failing to pay five months in back rent totaling $100,000. That's right children, e-vick-tuhd.
If we're being honest, and we always are, we don't feel so bad for Mister Washington. He sorta cooked his own goose in Hollywood by getting all mouthy and big headed before his star had risen high enough for him to get all mouthy and big headed. However, the man does have a wife and kids and it's unfortunate they too have to bear the brunt of this real estate brouhaha.
For those 12 children who still nurse a soft spot for Mister Washington, y'all can rest easier knowing he hasn't lost everything because it appears that he's still got that big house in Houston and his big black Mercedes G-Class car-truck thing.
At the time, it was posited by a real estate gossip or two that Mister Washington and family might pack their bags and head back to Houston, TX where records show they own a 4,653 square foot house on Vintage Centre Drive.
However, as it turns out, they stayed in Tinseltown and moved into a newly built and pricey rental property facing the Sherman Canal in Venice, CA. That should have been the end of that, particularly since it looked like Mister Washington was managing to right his professional boat with a recurring role on the short lived and universally panned Bionic Woman boob-toob remake as well as lead roles in two upcoming films.
But alas. It seems the drama sticks to Mister Washington like gum to the bottom of a shoe. According to Perez Hilton (via Radar), Mister Washington and family have been evicted from their Sherman Canal rental for failing to pay five months in back rent totaling $100,000. That's right children, e-vick-tuhd.
If we're being honest, and we always are, we don't feel so bad for Mister Washington. He sorta cooked his own goose in Hollywood by getting all mouthy and big headed before his star had risen high enough for him to get all mouthy and big headed. However, the man does have a wife and kids and it's unfortunate they too have to bear the brunt of this real estate brouhaha.
For those 12 children who still nurse a soft spot for Mister Washington, y'all can rest easier knowing he hasn't lost everything because it appears that he's still got that big house in Houston and his big black Mercedes G-Class car-truck thing.
Monday, March 30, 2009
UPDATE: Lenny Kravitz
The other day Your Mama discussed the Miami Beach, FL house that rock star Lenny Kravitz recently foisted on to the market with an asking price of $2,850,000 and ever since some of the children have been hissy fitting about wanting to see some photos of the interior.
Well children, pour yourself a tall gin and tonic and brace yourself puppies because here they are.
If anyone were to ask Your Mama, and of course no one did, this kind of corny nightclub day-core applied to a private residence is exactly why Mister Kravitz can't get sell his penthouse apartment in New York City. A sensible person–that being one with eyeballs–would need to get up in here and gut the place because let's be honest, how many people actually want a metal grill catwalk that lights up from underneath in their home? Or a red lacquered living room that looks like a damn strip club? Or, lawhd have mercy, a hallway lined with mirrors and white faux-fur? Pleeze.
Now children, leave Your Mama alone for a bit because after peeping at Mister Kravitz's decorative disaster down in Miami Beach, we are in desperate need of a nerve pill and a recuperative nap.
UPDATE: We hear from the real estate lady that the photos we've linked to are not what the house currently looks like. And that's a good thing. However, the linked photos do show the house as it looked at one time. We're thrilled to hear Mister Kravitiz has pulled back the decorative reins on this house.
Well children, pour yourself a tall gin and tonic and brace yourself puppies because here they are.
If anyone were to ask Your Mama, and of course no one did, this kind of corny nightclub day-core applied to a private residence is exactly why Mister Kravitz can't get sell his penthouse apartment in New York City. A sensible person–that being one with eyeballs–would need to get up in here and gut the place because let's be honest, how many people actually want a metal grill catwalk that lights up from underneath in their home? Or a red lacquered living room that looks like a damn strip club? Or, lawhd have mercy, a hallway lined with mirrors and white faux-fur? Pleeze.
Now children, leave Your Mama alone for a bit because after peeping at Mister Kravitz's decorative disaster down in Miami Beach, we are in desperate need of a nerve pill and a recuperative nap.
UPDATE: We hear from the real estate lady that the photos we've linked to are not what the house currently looks like. And that's a good thing. However, the linked photos do show the house as it looked at one time. We're thrilled to hear Mister Kravitiz has pulled back the decorative reins on this house.
In Other...
...real estate news about women who date rich and powerful men, Manuela Herzer, the much younger and former female companion of troubled Tinesltown tycoon Sumner Redstone, has purchased the Mulholland Drive compound of Lance Bass, the bug eyed ex-boy bander turned every one's favorite Hollywood homosexual. We tease. Like everyone else, we like Miss Bass.
Property records reveal that Miz Herzer paid $3,850,000 for the hill top estate that includes a total of 5 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms, two swimming pools, a guest house and spectacular views of both the San Fernando Valley and the glittery lights of Tinseltown. Unless the records are wrong, poor Lance Bass took a bit of a financial bath on this sale since the purchase price is slightly less than the $3,880,000 records show he paid for the place back in October of 2003.
Mister Bass had been living in New York City recently, but to be honest, we're not actually sure of his real estate wherabouts at this point.
Unfortunately, Your Mama knows next to nothing about Miz Herzner. She's reported to be several decades younger than Mister Redstone–who apparently likes his ladee friends young enough to be his daughter–and in late 2008, amidst his seemingly amicable dee-vorce from the also much younger Paula Fortunato, Mister Redstone was twice spotted dining about town with Miz Herzer sparking rumors that there might be a reconciliation between the former lovebirds.
According to both Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills and proven with property records, in November of 2008 the recently kicked to the curb Miz Fortunato forked over $4,150,000 of her settlement money to buy a 5 bedroom and 9 bathroom house on Liebe Drive in Beverly Hills. Not bad for a gal who was a modestly paid 40-year old New York City school teacher before hooking up with her octogenarian ex-huzband in 2003.
Property records reveal that Miz Herzer paid $3,850,000 for the hill top estate that includes a total of 5 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms, two swimming pools, a guest house and spectacular views of both the San Fernando Valley and the glittery lights of Tinseltown. Unless the records are wrong, poor Lance Bass took a bit of a financial bath on this sale since the purchase price is slightly less than the $3,880,000 records show he paid for the place back in October of 2003.
Mister Bass had been living in New York City recently, but to be honest, we're not actually sure of his real estate wherabouts at this point.
Unfortunately, Your Mama knows next to nothing about Miz Herzner. She's reported to be several decades younger than Mister Redstone–who apparently likes his ladee friends young enough to be his daughter–and in late 2008, amidst his seemingly amicable dee-vorce from the also much younger Paula Fortunato, Mister Redstone was twice spotted dining about town with Miz Herzer sparking rumors that there might be a reconciliation between the former lovebirds.
According to both Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills and proven with property records, in November of 2008 the recently kicked to the curb Miz Fortunato forked over $4,150,000 of her settlement money to buy a 5 bedroom and 9 bathroom house on Liebe Drive in Beverly Hills. Not bad for a gal who was a modestly paid 40-year old New York City school teacher before hooking up with her octogenarian ex-huzband in 2003.
Live Like L'Wren Scoot
SELLER: L'Wren ScottLOCATION: Tuxedo Terrace, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $999,999
SIZE: 1,712 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Celebrity-owned, but easy to show French Normandy Castle built in 1926 by Fred Hansen. The utmost in privacy and seclusion, yet minutes from the heart of Hollywood, this home is like a fairy tale come to life! Two secured entries off of street lead to a garden courtyard that feels like an English countryside. Privacy, seclusion, out-of-area experience are in abundance here. Perfect for artists, writers, entertainers or your client who simply wants to enjoy being home.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Considering this house has been on the market since July of 2008 and considering that the listing text boldly announces it is "celebrity owned," it's somewhat surprising all us nosy real estate gossips had not already sniffed this one out. Now that Rolling Stone senior citizen Mick Jagger and his ladee-friend L'Wren Scott are reportedly living in sin in London, Mizz Scott has less use for her modest–if not inexpensive–hideaway tucked into the hills of the Bronson Canyon area of Los Angeles and currently listed for sale with an asking price of $999,999.
Like a large number of gorgeous gals who wind up arm in arm with rock stars, Miss Scott started up her ladder of fame as a cat walker who worked her 6'4" former Mormon stuff back in the 1980s for fancy fashion designers such as Chanel and Thierry Mugler. In the mid-1990s, Miss Scott decamped for the sunny west coast of the U.S. of A. where at first she headed up PR for Prada and then became a noted and in demand stylist to the stars dressing a-list ladees like Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and Ellen Barkin. Along the way, Miss Scott did up the costumes for a few movies, met Mick Jagger and then reinvented her professional life once again. In the last few years, Miss Scoot has transformed herself into a fashion designer with the same red carpet clientele she enjoyed as a celebrity stylist. It's a good thing Miss Scott fraternizes with the demimonde children because those are the only damn people who can afford her $510 Bateau neck tank tops and $2,875 satin bustle jackets.
Anyhoo, property records show that Miss Scott purchased her turreted Tuxedo Terrace house in June of 1996 for $255,000. Oh mercy children, remember the good ol' days when you could still pick up a starter home in Los Angeles for well under $500,000? Nowadays you gotta be well employed and reasonably rich to even think about buying a modest house like this considering that the mortgage alone will be well over four grand a month.
Records and listing information shows the French Normandy style house was built in 1926 by a gentleman Your Mama has never heard of named Fred Hansen. The house measures in at just 1,712 square feet and listing information indicates the house stands three stories tall and includes 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.
There are, additionally, a living room with a vaulted ceiling, a formal dining room with stained glass windows and a small, lightly updated kitchen where there does not appear to be enough counter space to even make tuna fish sandwich let alone an actual mean. None the less, the kitchen does have a certain sort of relaxed, cottage charm and a magnificent mint green vintage stove. The not particularly large master bedroom suite includes a small bathroom with a soaking tub that appears to be molded from concrete and has a tiled niche for all Miss Scott's lotions, potions and bubble baths.
Outdoor spaces include a secluded and walled courtyard at the front and an overgrown and elegantly wild backyard garden that we think our attitudinal pussy cat Sugar would find a wonderland of vermin hunting.
Photos show the home retains much of it's original charm such as the carved stone fireplace in the living room and has been imbued with Miss Scott's personal style, which Your Mama might describe as a kind of bohemian chic meets a Moorish manor house meets the Paris flea markets sort of thing. Clearly this is not a home ready for the pages of Architectural Digest, but it does look like the sort of place put together someone secure enough in their decorative joie de vivre that they don't really care what's considered to be the latest and greatest in day-core depicted on the glossy pages of magazines like Metropolitan Home.
In addition to their shared London digs, Your Mama presumes Mister Jagger has given Miss Scott the keys to his many other homes. Although we can not confirm ownership of each them, Mister Jagger's long list of residences is said to include an apartment in Manhattan, a French chateau near Tours called La Fourchette, a two-floor flat next door to the 26-room townhouse in the Richmond Hill area of London (which Jerry Hall got in the dee-vorce), and two adjacent villas on the super swank island of Mustique. Your Mama read somewhere that Mister Jagger also has a 5-bedroom house in the Hollywood Hills, but we can't confirm that so don't go spreading that around like you know what yer talking about.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Don Imus's Surprisingly Dignified Digs
SELLER: Don ImusLOCATION: Beachside Avenue, Westport, CT
PRICE: $30,000,000
SIZE: 10,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Direct waterfront estate on Westport's premier "Gold Coast." 10,000 sf post Greco-Georgian main house built by Hobbs Construction. New 2 bedroom guest house and renovated 2 br gate house. Total of 10 garage spaces. 215' of private beach.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is a little late to the fair on this one having already been discussed first in The Wall Street Journal and then again by Mister Big Time. But we're weighing in anyway because seldom do we get to discuss insanely expensive properties in Connecticut and seldom are they owned by such a controversial ignoramus. Don Imus, the grumpy cowboy hat wearing radio host who has nearly killed his career in the last couple of years making repeated and obnoxious racial slurs...on the damn air, has put his Long Island Sound front estate in Westport, CT on the market with an impressive asking price of $30,000,000. Westport, CT is, of course, the same waspy enclave made famous by Miz Martha Stewart, who only pretends to be a wasp. The matron of impossibly perfect housewifery shacked up and filmed her television program at Turkey Hill, her long time estate which she's done sold now that she's living her post-prison, high-wasp lifestyle on a big farm north of New York City.
Anyhoo, property records and reports reveal Mister Imus purchased his 4-acre estate on Beachside Avenue in 1997 for $4,600,000. Listing information indicates the Mister Imus' mansion was built in 2000, so presumably this was either a vacant lot at the time of purchase or he ripped down the existing house and built his own dream house. Whatever the case, according to listing information, the 16-room so-called "Greco-Georgian" style pile measures approx. 10,000 square feet and includes 6 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms, 8 fireplaces, garaging for 9 or 10 cars, 9-foot ceilings, a formal dining room, great room, family room, gore-may kitchen with breakfast nook and pantry, a library/study, an office/computer room, a recreation room and a year tax bill of $131,863.
The grounds include a 2 bedroom gate house as well as a newly built 2 bedroom guest house. There does not appear to be either a swimming pool or a tennis court, but there is 215-feet of water front.
According to Mister Big Time, this is not the first time Mister Imus has tossed this big house into the real estate rodeo ring. Apparently, back in 2005, the mouthy and opinionated radio icon wanted to sell the house and listed it at $30,000,000.
We find Mister Imus and his radio ways to be rather repellent and since it makes us feel a little dirty to even discuss him, the only thing we're going to say about the day-core of Mister Imus's digs is that they are far more dignified than we would have expected from a man who has shown a stunning lack of decorum and class the last few years. None the less, since fair is fair, we'd be completely remiss if we did not acknowledge that Mister Imus, who very recently announced that he has been diagnosed with stage two prostate cancer, has spent a great deal of time, money and energy founding and running their 4,000 acre cattle ranch in New Mexico where children with cancer and and blood disorders are invited to experience what it's like to live and work on a functioning cattle ranch. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Records reveal that Mister Imus also owns a penthouse apartment on Central Park West that he's owned since at least 1994. Records indicate Mister and Missus Imus also own a maisonette style unit in the same building which they purchased in February of 2006 for $2,030,000.
Lenny Kravitz Lists Another One
SELLER: Lenny KravtizLOCATION: Biscayne Point Circle, Miami Beach, FL
PRICE: $2,850,000
SIZE: 5,717 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Amazing estate home, point lot in guard gated Biscayne Point. Ultra modern luxury on a large 12,000 sq. ft. lot w/ unparalleled wide open bay views, with over 1,100 sq. ft. of tiled dock, and 100 feet of waterfront. Everything done to perfection, custom marble baths, polished concrete floors, custom wall of glass totally opens the large living area to incredible water views. Backyard is resort like w/ pool & spa, amazing dock area.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Poor Lenny Kravtiz. The pierced, tattooed and dirty looking singer/songwriter turned interior decorator has been having a bitch of a time selling his Manhattan penthouse apartment which he's had on and off the market for years. The 6,000 square foot nightclub-like doo-plex on SoHo's cobbled Crosby Street has had asking prices as sky high as $19,500,000 and as low as $12,500,000. Currently the five bedroom party palace carries an asking price of $14,995,000. Whatever the damn price may be, Your Mama recommends the listing agent discourage any prospective buyers from running a black light up in there because lawhd have mercy, who knows what kinds of fluids would turn up and where. It gives us the shivers just to think of it.
Anyhoo, in addition to the New York digs and a pad in gay Paree–where our recently nuptialed friend Falsetta Knockers and her louche literary lover/huzband are honeymooning as we type this missive–Mister Kravitz has long maintained a real estate base in Miami Beach, FL. In May of 2005 he sold his 9 bedroom Mediterranean style pile on Sunset Island's W. 25th Street for $14,500,000. However, that was not his only home in the Miami area. Property records show that back in December of 1996 Mister Kravitz picked up a waterfront sprawler for $725,000 which, thanks to Donna Summer, we've learned he recently listed with an asking price of $2,850,000.
Listing information for the Biscayne Point Circle residence is slim, and Your Mama was able to scare up only an itty bitty bit of information about the the recently renovated Kravitz krib which measures 5,717 square feet and has three bedrooms and 3 full and 2 half bathrooms. Out back a new swimming pool hangs over the Biscayne Bay where Mister Kravitz (or the new home owner) can park a big boat.
As far as we know, Mister Kravitz continues to maintain and run a two story, 2,500 square foot state of the art recording studio in the penthouse of Miami Beach's The Setai, a swanky ocean front condo-hotel located on bizzy Collins Avenue.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Candy Spelling Officially Asks for $150,000,000
SELLER: Candy SpellingLOCATION: S. Mapleton Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $150,000,000
SIZE: 52,503 square feet, 11 bedrooms, 16 bathrooms (as per assessor)
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Fetch yer nerve pills, pour a tall gin and tonic and hold on to your britches children, because Candy Spelling's 123-room Holmby Hills monster mansion has officially and finally hit the open market with a knee buckling and record breaking asking price of $150,000,000.
Although records we accessed show a purchase date in December of 1991, a recent report in The Wall Street Journal states that Missus Spelling and her now deceased boob-toob producer huzband Aaron Spelling purchased the approximately 5 acre property on swish S. Mapleton Drive in the early 1980s. We're gonna believe the Wall Street Journal, but whatever the case, the couple proceeded to raze the former home of the legendary Bing Crosby and erect a massive, multi-winged monument to their wealth which they called The Manor.
Records on file with the County of Los Angeles show The Widow Spelling's hotel-sized house measures in at 52,503 square feet with 11 bedrooms and 16 bathrooms. However, those numbers are somewhat in dispute as The Wall Street Journal puts the residential beast at 57,000 square feet and during a televised interview and tour of her palatial pile poor Candy Darling herself couldn't remember if her huge house has 23 or 26 bathrooms. It would seem that only the terlit staff knows precisely how many poopers are on the property.
Some of the only in a mega-mansion features of The Manor include the bowling alley in the basement, a beauty parlor and a barber shop in the 17,000 square foot attic, a gift wrapping room, doll museum, a home gym, a wine cellar and wine tasting room, a humidity-controlled silver storage room, a room just for the China, and a leviathan living room that does double duty as a screening room where the screen rises up out of the floor.
The fastidiously maintained and gated grounds include a major motor court with a spitting fountain in the center, covered parking for a fleet of fancy automobiles, meandering pathways that circle the property, formal gardens including a rooftop rose garden, a swimming pool and spa complex and a tennis court which we like to imagine Miz Spelling has never even seen let alone used.
Miz Spelling's attorney Stephen Goldberg told The Wall Street Journal that ever since his client announced she coughed up a staggering $47,000,000 for a yet to be completed 16,000 square foot doo-plex penthouse in Century City, the wildly rich widow has had about 12 calls from interested and qualified buyers.
Your Mama assumes these calls and queries are coming from the same dozen or so qualified buyers that have peeped and poked around the insanely decadent rooms of Suzanne Saperstein's $125,000,000 Holmby Hills behemoth for which it is rather bizarrely rumored that scantily clad superstar Mariah Carey has made an offer. We don't believe it, but that's another story.
Anyhoo, only time will tell how long it will take for The Widow Spelling to unload her big house, at what price and to which bizness baron, mogul, magnate or foreign potentate. If the ladee gets anywhere near the $150,000,000 asking price it will most certainly set a record for the largest amount of money paid for a single family residence in the United States.
Miz Spelling is still trying to sell both of the homes she owns in the gated Century Woods community which lies in the shadows of the towers of Century City. One is an 8,424 square foot Faux-Tuscan sitting on a double lot with 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and an asking price of $7,895,000 and the other a quasi-French farmhouse sort of thing measuring 4,843 square feet with 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms and an asking price of $4,795,000.
photos: Pacific Coast News
James Perse's Pad in The Birds
SELLER: James PerseLOCATION: Oriole Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $4,995,000
SIZE: 2,235 square feet, 1 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom
DESCRIPTION: ...This residence designed by James Perse exemplifies the Southern California lifestyle: flr. to ceiling walls of glass provide abundant light & seamless indoor-outdoor flow, fantastic master w/ FP, huge walk-in closet & luxurious bath, lrge open eat-in kitch. w/ stainless steel appliances, wonderful open living rm w/ FP & wet bar opening out to private lush landscaped grounds, pool, spa & outdoor shower.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last night, as we were watching those skinny bitches strut their wannabe model stuff on that dee-lishusly undignified America's Next Top Model program, we were also perusing the newly available properties in the Bird Streets high above Los Angeles' Sunset Strip. It wasn't long before our beady little eyeballs beheld a re-worked ranch directly across the street from the architectural tour de force of Ricardo Montalban, may he rest in peace, and around the corner from Leo DiCaprio's recently remodeled crib. As it turns out (and as the listing so boldly declares), the desirably located property is owned and being offered by t-shirt tycoon James Perse.
Unless you're in the tax bracket where you can comfortably afford to fork over more than fifty bucks for a cotton t-shirt or 145 clams for a pair of cotton cargo shorts, you might not know who our James Perse is or how he can afford to bed down in the Birds. See children, young Mister Perse was born into Los Angeles fashion royalty. His fatherm, Tommy Perse, is the man behind Maxfield, the super swank Melrose Avenue boo-teek that has been selling high priced and fashion forward duds to rich and famous folks since before the dawn of time. For those the children who think Los Angeles is a fashion wasteland, Your Mama suggests you haul your heiny to Maxfield and check out all the dee-voon tailored Dries Van Noton and gloriously avant Comme des Garçons garments that fly off the rack and into black shopping bags that get loaded into idling automobiles that cost as much as a damn house in Middle America.
Anyhoo, starting when he was just a baby-faced 22 years old, young Mister Perse followed his father into the rag trade selling pricey pared down basic pieces to celebrities and other folks with black Amex cards and money to burn. Although Your Mama is certain some of you will have all sorts of sassy and snarky things to say about people who plunk down $295 for a thermal lined hoody, we're also quite sure that Mister Perse will pay you no mind because whether y'all think his relaxed fit boxer shorts are worth 28 bucks a pair or not, he's managed without your financial assistance to successfully expanded his casual clothing lines into an small empire that includes 9 architecturally minimal boo-teeks stretching from the shimmering shores of Malee-boo to the casually glizty streets of East Hampton.
Property records show Mister Perse picked up his Oriole Drive property in May of 1998 for $875,000. Records on file with the County of Los Angeles show that the 2,235 square foot house includes 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. However, listing information shows there are just 1 bedroom and 1.5 bathrooms. That's right children, 1 bedroom and 1.5 bathrooms. Let's just pause for a moment and try to get out mind around the staggering optimism and impressive real estate cajones it takes to list a one bedroom and 1.5 bathroom house for almost five million dollars in a luxury market that is, by all accounts, less than brisk.
The 1/3 acre property is properly gated and fully hedged for privacy and listing information reveals the wonderfully pared down pad features walls of floor to ceiling sliders that open every room to the out doors. The crisp, clean lined and barely furnished living room has a fireplace, several seating areas, shiny blond wood floors, and a wet bar. The living room leads directly into to the master bedroom at the rear of the house where there is a second fireplace, more floor to ceiling glass sliders opening to the pool deck, a large walk in closet and a bathroom with a shower large enough for Mister Perse to scrub down with a few friends should he desire.
The minimally designed kitchen with its white cabinets, black counter tops and blond wood breakfast bar is open to the dining room where Mister Perse has placed a picnic table painted a gleaming black. We know the children are going to skewer us for saying so, but Your Mama loves us a picnic table moved indoors to become dining room table.
The long, low and lean house wraps around the rear terrace where there is a simple rectangular swimming pool, spa and a good sized grassy area. Somewhere, according to listing information, is an outdoor shower. For those not familiar with the pleasures of showering outdoors, you are missing out on one of life's great simple pleasures.
Mister Perse has admirably adhered to a strict palette of black, white, cement grey, grass green and blond wood in his minimally designed digs. While Your Mama goes weak in the knees over such decorative restraint, we fear that things have gotten a wee to minimal even for us. Perhaps all of Mister Perse's personal effects have been removed from the premises, but we feel strongly this house would benefit greatly from some thought provoking art hanging on the expansive white walls and a few stacks of books and magazines tossed about would make it look like someone actually lives up in here as opposed to just occupying it.
Presumably, the asking price of Mister Perse's property is partly justified by its stellar location at the white hot center of the Bird Streets. But given that there's just one bedroom here, any new owner will need to be single, childless and/or prepared to spend another few hundred thousand adding additional bedrooms and bathrooms. Your Mama wishes Mister Perse all the luck in the world unloading this one because, we fear, he's going to need all the luck he can get selling a one bedroom house at this price.
P.S. As noted by one of the children and despite the language in the listing description, this house was indeed did up and done up for Mister Perse by an architecture firm called Standard.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Mel B Is Moving On
SELLER: Melanie BrownLOCATION: Mount Olympus Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,999,999
SIZE: 3,476 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Magnificent contemp masterpiece surrounded by a tropical oasis. Purchased in 2007, this ultra chic showplace has undergone close to a $1m make over. Lush landscaping & 8 camera security system w/ night vision create complete security & privacy. W/ a saline pool, spa, 3 waterfalls, state of the art entertainment system, outdoor living room w/ flat screen & Viking outdoor kitchen, this is resort living at its finest. Sweeping city & ocean views, art walls, gourmet kitchen & open flr plan.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Earlier today, Your Mama discussed the moronic rumors about Dave and Vicki Beckham selling their Beverly Hills house to that wild eyed Tom Crooz character and his mousy wifey Katie and we're going to continue with the Spice Girls theme this afternoon and discuss the Los Angeles house that Melanie Brown, otherwise known as Scary Spice, otherwise known as Mel B, just listed with an asking price of $2,999,999.
Miz B first climbed high on the elusive ladder of fame as a member of the Spice Girls girl group but in 2006/07 she elevated her celebrity quotient into the stratosphere by mixing it up tranny luvin' Eddie Murphy and becoming one of his many baby mamas. Miz B and her crack team of publicists and managers managed to successfully parlay her Eddie Murphy baby mama drama into a much coveted spot the sparkling stage of that hugely popular but upsetting to Your Mama's sensibilities Dancing With The Stars program. Miz B's next professional engagement is, apparently, in Sin City where the singing and dancing diva is scheduled to perform–in her underwear–in a risque and "woman empowering" review called Peep Show.
Property records and previous reports reveal that Miz B bought her contemporary crib on Mount Olympus Drive in August of 2007 for an even-steven $3,000,000. Given that the property is now priced exactly one dollar less than she paid, she's obviously going to take a substantial financial hit, particularly when you factor in the near one million clams listing information claims Miz B put into the place in renovations and re-dos.
Although rich and famous folks are notoriously fickle in their real estate comings and goings, Your Mama can't help but wonder why Miz B would choose to move now, in this rather unstable real estate market in which she's going to lose a big bundle of buckage. Babbling Babette, one of our more adorable tattle tales, whispered in our big ear that Miz B and her man-mate Stephen Belafonte are eager to sell so they can move to a house with more room for their combined quartet of children produced from three previous relationships. Your Mama thinks it's really very sweet of them to think of their children's best interests this way, but didn't they have four children when they bought this damn place in 2007? Seems like somebody was not using their noggin when they should have been.
Anyhoo, listing information shows the two story residence measures 3,476 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. Additional rooms include an open plan living, dining and kitchen area with white walls, chocolate stained wood floors and cabinetry, walls of windows that slide open and a full suite of high-grade if somewhat chintzy-sized stainless steel appliances.
Among other bits and pieces, the near million dollar make-over included swapping the existing staircase out for a curving and nearly transparent glass and steel contraption that would befuddle and scare the bejeezis out of our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly who are, bless their tiny hearts, having issues with their eyesight. Miz B and Mister Belafonte also expanded the second floor deck the full length of the front facing three car garage where they've placed an outdoor pool table. Christ almighty children, who knew you could buy a pool table able to withstand the elements? Not Your Mama nor the Dr. Cooter, that's for sure.
It also appears to Your Mama that Miz B replaced the old master bathroom with an all glass and grey veined marble affair that has more in common stylistically with a high-toned mausoleum than it does with a master bathroom. Don't misunderstand Your Mama, we love us some tombstone grade marble as much as the next person, but too much of a good thing is, well, too much of a good thing. We might have recommended the nice gay marble loving decorator have left the wall behind the floating sink cabinet marble free. But that's just us. Some of you children may think bathing and doing the dirty bizness in a damn crypt is cool.
The backyard is really a large courtyard at the side of the house and includes an amoeba shaped saline swimming pool and spa surrounded by some nifty flag stone terracing, an outdoor kitchen full of Viking brand appliances, three waterfalls (when 1 would probably be enough), and and outdoor living room complete with, natch, a flat screen boob toob and a whole bunch of white furniture.
The last feature of the house that will appeal to all the paranoid children is the state of the art security system which features eight video cameras equipped with night vision.
Your Mama wishes Miz B all the best in her new show and her next home because although we find her career path to be a little icky, we find we always like her immensely when we see her interviewed on the tee vee, something we can't say about very many famous people.
A Little Real Estate Crazy With Your Morning Coffee
Once it was confirmed that British ex-pats Dave and Vicki Beckham are indeed packing up their tea sets and moving to Milan, it was only a matter of time before the real estate crazy train that surrounds their every move got underway.
The most recent real estate rumors swirling around the internets are that teeny tiny Tom Crooz and his mousy wifey Katie want to buy Sexy and The Spice Gurl's Beverly Hills mansion. The reports seem to stem from a story in Star Magazine which we can't locate online and which reported that the Crooz couple want to buy the Beckham's 6 bedroom and 9 bathroom house and use it as a damn guest house. The article quoted someone as saying, "They would use the place for visitors, but they don't want to spend much more than $15 million."
Queen, pleeze! That's just preposterous. Your Mama is seriously skeptical of all these unsubstantiated canards and we suggest the children also look at them stories through squinted eyes and furrowed brows because above and beyond it's sheer unbelievability factor, there are some glaring errors that toss a dark cloud of suspicion over then entire story.
Firstly, A little look-see into the property records clearly reveals that Sexy and the Spice Gurl paid $18,200,000 for their 6 bedroom and 9 bathroom mansion and not the reported amount of $22,000,000. There's really no excuse for that error unless the rumor was printed without even the appearance of fact checking.
Secondly, when the British Beckhams bought their single story sprawler in the Spring of 2007, the pound was way up and the dollar was way down, which means they'd be fools not to grab a deal at fifteen million clams because, with the exchange rate at the time, they really only paid like 10 or 12 million max for the place so 15 million would put a couple million in their pocket.
Thirdly, A quick perusal of an easily accessible internet map shows that Tom Crooz and his posse of handlers, minders, family members and Thetans do not live "around the corner" from Sexy and the Spice Gurl. The Beckham's 13,149 square foot house sits up a long driveway off San Ysidro Drive, which is west of Coldwater Canyon Drive and the Crooz clan's crib sits up a long driveway off Calle Vista Drive which is east of Coldwater Canyon. It might only take 5 minutes to drive their Bentleys back and forth to each other's houses for Saturday night Scrabble tournaments, but they are most definitely not "around the corner" from each other.
It makes sense that Sexy and the Spice Gurl want to sell their house and maybe those crazy Crooz's do want to buy a fancy guest house near their own ritzy residence. However, we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that the Crooz's are not buying the Beckham's Beverly Hills house.
The most recent real estate rumors swirling around the internets are that teeny tiny Tom Crooz and his mousy wifey Katie want to buy Sexy and The Spice Gurl's Beverly Hills mansion. The reports seem to stem from a story in Star Magazine which we can't locate online and which reported that the Crooz couple want to buy the Beckham's 6 bedroom and 9 bathroom house and use it as a damn guest house. The article quoted someone as saying, "They would use the place for visitors, but they don't want to spend much more than $15 million."
Queen, pleeze! That's just preposterous. Your Mama is seriously skeptical of all these unsubstantiated canards and we suggest the children also look at them stories through squinted eyes and furrowed brows because above and beyond it's sheer unbelievability factor, there are some glaring errors that toss a dark cloud of suspicion over then entire story.
Firstly, A little look-see into the property records clearly reveals that Sexy and the Spice Gurl paid $18,200,000 for their 6 bedroom and 9 bathroom mansion and not the reported amount of $22,000,000. There's really no excuse for that error unless the rumor was printed without even the appearance of fact checking.
Secondly, when the British Beckhams bought their single story sprawler in the Spring of 2007, the pound was way up and the dollar was way down, which means they'd be fools not to grab a deal at fifteen million clams because, with the exchange rate at the time, they really only paid like 10 or 12 million max for the place so 15 million would put a couple million in their pocket.
Thirdly, A quick perusal of an easily accessible internet map shows that Tom Crooz and his posse of handlers, minders, family members and Thetans do not live "around the corner" from Sexy and the Spice Gurl. The Beckham's 13,149 square foot house sits up a long driveway off San Ysidro Drive, which is west of Coldwater Canyon Drive and the Crooz clan's crib sits up a long driveway off Calle Vista Drive which is east of Coldwater Canyon. It might only take 5 minutes to drive their Bentleys back and forth to each other's houses for Saturday night Scrabble tournaments, but they are most definitely not "around the corner" from each other.
It makes sense that Sexy and the Spice Gurl want to sell their house and maybe those crazy Crooz's do want to buy a fancy guest house near their own ritzy residence. However, we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that the Crooz's are not buying the Beckham's Beverly Hills house.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Another Celebrity Real Estate Columnist...Gone
Your Mama regrets to inform the children that Los Angeles Times celebrity real estate columnist Ann Brenoff has been relieved of her post. Just about one year ago, the 15+ year veteran of the L.A. Times took the reins of the Hot Property column from the legendary Ruth Ryon and successfully expanded the popular weekly print column to include daily blog posts that were often food and fodder for our own little online endeavor.
Miz Brenoff will continue to provide juicy tidbits to the paper until April 17. After that, our sources say the fate of the Hot Property column hangs in the balance and it remains to be seen if the beleaguered paper will make the unfortunate choice to fold up the column for good or if they'll ferret out another well connected celebrity real estate obsessed writer to carry on what is surely one of the most popular, if fluffy, feature columns at the paper.
Whatever happens, please join with Your Mama and raise a glass of expensive bubbly to Miz Brenoff for rocking our collective celebrity real estate world every damn day of the week.
Miz Brenoff will continue to provide juicy tidbits to the paper until April 17. After that, our sources say the fate of the Hot Property column hangs in the balance and it remains to be seen if the beleaguered paper will make the unfortunate choice to fold up the column for good or if they'll ferret out another well connected celebrity real estate obsessed writer to carry on what is surely one of the most popular, if fluffy, feature columns at the paper.
Whatever happens, please join with Your Mama and raise a glass of expensive bubbly to Miz Brenoff for rocking our collective celebrity real estate world every damn day of the week.
Mama Maloof (allegedly) Sells to Slash
SELLER: Colleen MaloofBUYER: Saul and Perla Hudson
LOCATION: Clerendon Road, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $8,985,000 (asking)
DESCRIPTION: Within the prestigious guard-gated enclave of Mulholland Estates resides this striking Tuscan inspired villa which offers the finest in estate living. A true entertainers dream come true with such upgrads as 4 dishwashers, 4 ovens, 2 SubZeros, 2 additional refrigerated drawers, 2 kitchen center islands, climate-controlled wine cellar, game room, theater and more! Relax beneath the covered loggia w/ fireplace, custom heating and lighting system, lush landscaping and enchanting vistas.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Since it was written about in such places as the Hot Properties column in the Los Angeles Times way back in October of 2008, it's certainly not news that Colleen Maloof listed her mansion in the guard gated Mulholland Estates community which sits high in the hills above Beverly Hills and is, technically, part of Sherman Oaks. It's also no secret among real estate people who push property in the Platinum Triangle that the "Tuscan inspired villa" recently went into escrow and vanished from the public pages of the MLS.
For those who do not know, Miz Maloof is the well to do widow of big time booze distributor George Maloof and the mother of Joe, Gavin, George Jr., Phil and Adrienne Maloof who together run The Maloof Companies, a diversified family business that distributes booze, owns the Sacramento Kings professional basketball team, owns several hotels and casinos including The Palms in Las Vegas, produces some reality tee-vee programs such as the jaw droppingly horrific Living Lohan, and holds a huge amount of shares in banking behemoth Wells Fargo.
Anyhoo, as it turns out, the identity of the big name buyer of Miz Maloof's mansion was recently revealed to Your Mama. Early last week we were chit-chatting with the impossibly well informed Nelly Knowsitall who off-handedly mentioned that the heavily worked over Widow Maloof was selling her house to heavy metal guitar maestro Saul Hudson, otherwise known as Slash.
Mister Slash has been fodder for all the real estate gossips for quite some time. Y'all will recall that in 2007 he sued a real estate agent for misrepresenting the number of parking spaces at a house he purchased (and has since sold) in the Hollywood Hills. Your Mama had long been hearing whispers and real estate rumors that Mister Slash and his wifey Perla had sold their Studio City house and were rooting around for new digs. In fact, several months ago we heard from a talkative tipster who whispered in Your Mama's big ol' ear that the Hudsons were buying British pop star Robbie Williams' Mulholland Estates mansion.
That information has turned out to be a bunch of hooey. However, for what it's worth, Mister Williams' mansion does sit directly across the street from The Widow Maloof's mansion. It's also next door to the house boob-toob bench warmer Judge Greg Mathis has on the market for $5,900,000 and just a few doors down from Paris Hilton house, which probably isn't much of a selling point for many multi-million dollar buyers but clearly did not bother Mister and Mrs. Hudson. Other rich and famous inhabitants of the Mulholland Estates community includes Vanna White, Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller, and billionaire Tom Gores who happens to be trying to unload a monstrous piece of vacant land in Bel Air for a bank account busting $65,000,000.
But we digress...again. Property records show Miz Maloof forked over eight million clams for her "Tuscan inspired villa" in February of 2006 and listing information we obtained shows that she first listed the 10,971 square foot manse in May of 2008 with a rather optimistic asking price of $13,995,000. Miz Maloof soon got serious about selling and chopped the asking price to $10,200,000 and then got even more serious and slashed the asking price to $8,985,000 before it was, according to Miz Knowsitall, snatched up by Mister and Missus Slash who have yet to close on the property.
Listing information shows the house measures a hefty 10,971 square feet and includes 7 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. Other amenities in the three story residence include an entrance hall designed to impress the guests and the Chinese food delivery man, a formal living room with disturbingly off-center cabinetry surrounding the fireplace, a formal dining room, game room, temperature controlled wine cellar, a home thee-ay-ter with puffy,crap colored leather recliners, and a colossal kitchen that opens to the breakfast and family rooms and features two work islands, two SubZero refrigerators, 4 overns and 4 damn dishwashers. That's right, four.
The modestly sized backyard entertainment areas includes a lounging loggia with an outdoor fireplace, a patch of grass for the pooches, a simple rectangular swimming pool and spa, a built in barbecue center and a view of a bunch of palm trees.
In addition to Mama Maloof, a couple of the Maloof children have recently put their Los Angeles estates on the market including Phil whose Bev Hills house was first listed at $16,995,000 and is currently listed at a much lower $10,865,000, and Joe whose Brentwood bedsit is currently listed at $4,200,000, reduced from $4,995,000.
Your Mama Hears...
...Okay children, we confess. We didn't hear this, we saw it on gossip Goliath X17 who reported that Grammy winning Barbadian babe Rihanna spent part of her weekend looking for a new LaLa Land crib to call home. We don't know all of the pricey properties she viewed but we do know she had a look-see at at a 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom house on Sunset View Drive that measures over 5,000 square feet, has an asking price of $4,495,000, features a blinding and disturbing wet bar slathered in mirrored subway tiles in the living room, an infinity edged pool looking out over the lights of Los Angeles and Cameron Diaz as a neighbor.According to our source Mirakle Mike, Miss Rihanna currently rents digs in the hills above Los Feliz. Listing information we were able to secure thanks to Babbling Babbette shows her temporary hideaway on Tryon Road sits privately up a long gated driveway, measures 4,545 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. Fun features include a media room on the lowest level, Rosewood cabinets and kelly green glass counter tops in the kitchen and a gigantic master suite with sitting area, bedroom, fireplace, and a party-sized shower that's larger than most studio apartments in downtown Manhattan.
It is none of Your Mama's beeswax, has not a thing to do with real estate and since we were not there, we do not know for sure what went down in that stoopid rented Lamborghini between Miss Rihanna and Mister Chris Brown on that fateful night. However, Your Mama is a bizzy-body and as such would like to reiterate what that Oprah ladee–who, contrary to common belief, does not walk on the damn water–said to Miss Rihanna about her current romantic situation: We know that you are a teen aged woman in love and all that crap, but if that "man" you call yer boyfriend put his hands on you in anger and busted up your lip and scared you enough to go to the damn po-po station to file a report, he will do it again no matter how many times he tells you he will not. Real men do not beat up on women.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Sliced, Diced Chopped, Slashed, Hacked and Shaved
We apologize once again for our tardiness and lack of attention. Not only was today a travel day, but it's taken Your Mama a couple of days to recover from the dee-voon debauchery that ensued at the wild and wonderful wedding of our finely feathered friend Falsetta Knockers and her louche literary lover. Besides, whether y'all like it or not, we're entitled to a few days of child-freedom without having to endure a bunch of bitching from morons upset that we did not put something up on a damn Sunday. Pleeze. Get a damn grip. When y'all start paying our mortgage you can start running your mouth about our comings and goings. Until then, we do not want to hear it. Anyhoo...
Today, Your Mama is going to go slightly off topic and discuss a number of high priced properties that have recently undergone heavy duty price cuts. Your Mama knows this topic will unleash a fuming and vengeful army of Chicken Littles who will holler and howl about how the real estate sky is falling and blather on endlessly about how the global economy appears to be going to hell in Joe Cassano and Timothy Geithner's hand baskets of complex financial instruments. But a case can be made that these properties were priced too high even for the white hot markets of 2004 and 2005 and their lower asking prices are simply owners having a necessary real estate reality check about the value of their residential assets. Whatever your stand on the matter may be, it's increasingly clear that many owners of exuberantly priced properties who actually want to sell them have had to start shaving, slashing, chopping and hacking at the asking prices of their prodigiously priced real estate white elephants.
We cherry picked properties from the deep recesses of our gin soaked mind and are well aware our little list of properties with recent price cuts is far from complete, so do not go workin' Your Mama's last nerve with some self righteous donkey crap about how we missed this property or failed to include that price cut. We know. So it's not going to be very interesting news to have y'all screaming about it.
Let's start down in the quicksand of Florida's sinking real estate markets where former professional golfer and Chris Evert wooer Greg Norman has reduced the asking price of Tranquility, his jinormous Jupiter Island estate, from a teeth chattering $65,000,000 to a still staggering $47,000,000. The 7.4-acre estate was first hoisted on to the open market sometime in late 2007 and, according to listing information, the ocean front property also includes 370-feet of Intracoastal Waterway frontage, a 140-foot long dock, 17,825 square feet of air conditioned space spread across 6 structures that contain a grand total of 9 bedrooms, 11 full and 3 half bathrooms. Not bad for a dude who swats a little white ball around the lawn.
Up the right coast, the late Brooke Astor's legendary doo-plex apartment was first put on the market in a blaze of publicity in May of 2008 with a not entirely unexpected asking price of $46,000,000. However, a lack of qualified or interested buyers has forced the asking price of the palatial and perfectly provenanced Park Avenue co-op apartment all the way down to $29,000,000. Listing information and floor plan renderings reveal the 14-room residence features 5 principal bedrooms that share 4.5 bathrooms plus 3 itty bitty staff rooms that all share a single terlit. There are also 6 terraces, 5 fireplaces, 24 closets (and 1 dressing room), a vault for the valuables, a private elevator landing and, of course, that red lacquered library where the inestimable Miz Astor hosted untold numbers of luminaries, high society types, bizness barons and political movers and shakers.
A few blocks away from Miz Astor's doo-plex is the never lived Astor Suite at The Plaza which is owned by German biznessman Jürgen Friedrich who purchased the 5th floor sprawler in November of 2007 for $25,036,463 and boldly flipped it back on the market in September of 2008 with a stunning asking price of $55,000,000. Your Mama does not even need to consult our bejeweled abacus to see that's more than twice what the clothing tycoon paid for the 4,284 square foot apartment. The listing for the 3 bedroom and 5 bathroom apartment disappeared just days after being listed on the open market and then popped up again in December of 2008 with a new listing agent and a new and lower–but still optimistic–asking price of $38,000,000. In the summer of 2008 the lavish living Mister Friedrich also listed his 18,000 square foot weekend getaway in Southampton, NY with a goose pimple producing asking price of $67,500,000.
The west coast has also seen its fair share of asking price slices and dices. Super producer Jon Peters (Superman and Batman franchises, Bonfire of the Vanities, Rain Man and Flashdance to name a few) has long owned and been planning to build an opulent 30,000 square foot Richard Landry designed mega-mansion on Tower Lane in Beverly Hills but change his mind in late 2007 when the multi-parcel, partially developed 6+ acre property first hit the open market with a hefty price tag of $39,500,000. The property currently includes a very long, winding driveway, swimming pool complex and an underground garage that holds 14 or 25 cars, depending on whether you consult new or old listings. What that forty million clams did not include, rather surprisingly, was an actual house where the insanely rich buyer could actually live. After languishing for an eternity, the listing disappeared from the MLS only to reappear recently with an drastically slashed asking price of $19,995,000, which Your Mama's admittedly rudimentary calculations on our bejeweled abacus show represents a near 50% price reduction.
Another high profile property owner who has hacked nearly 50% off the asking price of his Bel Air residence is hair challenged and Oscar wining actor Nic Cage who possesses a bulging portfolio of trophy properties around the world, several of which are currently listed for sale with fat asking prices. Mister Cage's long time Los Angeles crib is a legendary 11,817 square foot brick built behemoth on Bel Air's Copa de Oro Road that he's been trying to unload for a number of years. Mister Cage, a man with a bit of a fetish for houses with storied pasts, is hardly the only celeb to occupy the prime 1-acre parcel East Gate property which was formerly owned by both . cheesetastic crooner Tom Jones and womanizing Rat Packer Dean Martin. First listed on the open market in September of 2007, the current asking price for the ivy covered 7 bedroom–some say 9 bedroom–and 9 bathroom mansion has dropped drastically to $19,750,000, a figure which our bejeweled abacus reveals is a stunning 44% drop from the original asking price of $35,000,000.
On the other side of Los Angeles, in the gated Laughlin Park community, the historic Cecil B. DeMille estate hit the market in late May of 2008 with an unheard of for that neck of the woods $26,250,000 and has been subjected to several price cuts that leave it currently with a still very high but substantially less$18,900,000.
Prolific Platinum Triangle property developer/flipper John Bersci has been trying to sell The Harvey Mudd Estate, which happens to be his personal residence in Beverly Hills. First listed in October of 2008 at $11,495,000, the 7 bedroom and 7 bathroom Elmer Grey designed digs has undergone several price chops and recently had a hefty $1,000,000 was hacked off the asking price which now stands at $7,995,000.
A smaller chop, but no less an indication of the depth and breadth of price plunging, is the Bel Air manse of big-booty entertainment juggernaut Jennifer Lopez and her pin thin huzband Mark Anthony who listed their 4 bedroom and 5.5 house in November of 2008 with an asking price of $8,500,000. The French Farmhouse style pile on swank St. Pierre Road now has an asking price of $7,900,000. The three-quarter acre property is heavily secured and includes well tended specimen gardens, a guest house, a pool and pool house and The Jonas Brothers for next door neighbors.
Today, Your Mama is going to go slightly off topic and discuss a number of high priced properties that have recently undergone heavy duty price cuts. Your Mama knows this topic will unleash a fuming and vengeful army of Chicken Littles who will holler and howl about how the real estate sky is falling and blather on endlessly about how the global economy appears to be going to hell in Joe Cassano and Timothy Geithner's hand baskets of complex financial instruments. But a case can be made that these properties were priced too high even for the white hot markets of 2004 and 2005 and their lower asking prices are simply owners having a necessary real estate reality check about the value of their residential assets. Whatever your stand on the matter may be, it's increasingly clear that many owners of exuberantly priced properties who actually want to sell them have had to start shaving, slashing, chopping and hacking at the asking prices of their prodigiously priced real estate white elephants.
We cherry picked properties from the deep recesses of our gin soaked mind and are well aware our little list of properties with recent price cuts is far from complete, so do not go workin' Your Mama's last nerve with some self righteous donkey crap about how we missed this property or failed to include that price cut. We know. So it's not going to be very interesting news to have y'all screaming about it.
Let's start down in the quicksand of Florida's sinking real estate markets where former professional golfer and Chris Evert wooer Greg Norman has reduced the asking price of Tranquility, his jinormous Jupiter Island estate, from a teeth chattering $65,000,000 to a still staggering $47,000,000. The 7.4-acre estate was first hoisted on to the open market sometime in late 2007 and, according to listing information, the ocean front property also includes 370-feet of Intracoastal Waterway frontage, a 140-foot long dock, 17,825 square feet of air conditioned space spread across 6 structures that contain a grand total of 9 bedrooms, 11 full and 3 half bathrooms. Not bad for a dude who swats a little white ball around the lawn.
Up the right coast, the late Brooke Astor's legendary doo-plex apartment was first put on the market in a blaze of publicity in May of 2008 with a not entirely unexpected asking price of $46,000,000. However, a lack of qualified or interested buyers has forced the asking price of the palatial and perfectly provenanced Park Avenue co-op apartment all the way down to $29,000,000. Listing information and floor plan renderings reveal the 14-room residence features 5 principal bedrooms that share 4.5 bathrooms plus 3 itty bitty staff rooms that all share a single terlit. There are also 6 terraces, 5 fireplaces, 24 closets (and 1 dressing room), a vault for the valuables, a private elevator landing and, of course, that red lacquered library where the inestimable Miz Astor hosted untold numbers of luminaries, high society types, bizness barons and political movers and shakers.
A few blocks away from Miz Astor's doo-plex is the never lived Astor Suite at The Plaza which is owned by German biznessman Jürgen Friedrich who purchased the 5th floor sprawler in November of 2007 for $25,036,463 and boldly flipped it back on the market in September of 2008 with a stunning asking price of $55,000,000. Your Mama does not even need to consult our bejeweled abacus to see that's more than twice what the clothing tycoon paid for the 4,284 square foot apartment. The listing for the 3 bedroom and 5 bathroom apartment disappeared just days after being listed on the open market and then popped up again in December of 2008 with a new listing agent and a new and lower–but still optimistic–asking price of $38,000,000. In the summer of 2008 the lavish living Mister Friedrich also listed his 18,000 square foot weekend getaway in Southampton, NY with a goose pimple producing asking price of $67,500,000.
The west coast has also seen its fair share of asking price slices and dices. Super producer Jon Peters (Superman and Batman franchises, Bonfire of the Vanities, Rain Man and Flashdance to name a few) has long owned and been planning to build an opulent 30,000 square foot Richard Landry designed mega-mansion on Tower Lane in Beverly Hills but change his mind in late 2007 when the multi-parcel, partially developed 6+ acre property first hit the open market with a hefty price tag of $39,500,000. The property currently includes a very long, winding driveway, swimming pool complex and an underground garage that holds 14 or 25 cars, depending on whether you consult new or old listings. What that forty million clams did not include, rather surprisingly, was an actual house where the insanely rich buyer could actually live. After languishing for an eternity, the listing disappeared from the MLS only to reappear recently with an drastically slashed asking price of $19,995,000, which Your Mama's admittedly rudimentary calculations on our bejeweled abacus show represents a near 50% price reduction.
Another high profile property owner who has hacked nearly 50% off the asking price of his Bel Air residence is hair challenged and Oscar wining actor Nic Cage who possesses a bulging portfolio of trophy properties around the world, several of which are currently listed for sale with fat asking prices. Mister Cage's long time Los Angeles crib is a legendary 11,817 square foot brick built behemoth on Bel Air's Copa de Oro Road that he's been trying to unload for a number of years. Mister Cage, a man with a bit of a fetish for houses with storied pasts, is hardly the only celeb to occupy the prime 1-acre parcel East Gate property which was formerly owned by both . cheesetastic crooner Tom Jones and womanizing Rat Packer Dean Martin. First listed on the open market in September of 2007, the current asking price for the ivy covered 7 bedroom–some say 9 bedroom–and 9 bathroom mansion has dropped drastically to $19,750,000, a figure which our bejeweled abacus reveals is a stunning 44% drop from the original asking price of $35,000,000.
On the other side of Los Angeles, in the gated Laughlin Park community, the historic Cecil B. DeMille estate hit the market in late May of 2008 with an unheard of for that neck of the woods $26,250,000 and has been subjected to several price cuts that leave it currently with a still very high but substantially less$18,900,000.
Prolific Platinum Triangle property developer/flipper John Bersci has been trying to sell The Harvey Mudd Estate, which happens to be his personal residence in Beverly Hills. First listed in October of 2008 at $11,495,000, the 7 bedroom and 7 bathroom Elmer Grey designed digs has undergone several price chops and recently had a hefty $1,000,000 was hacked off the asking price which now stands at $7,995,000.
A smaller chop, but no less an indication of the depth and breadth of price plunging, is the Bel Air manse of big-booty entertainment juggernaut Jennifer Lopez and her pin thin huzband Mark Anthony who listed their 4 bedroom and 5.5 house in November of 2008 with an asking price of $8,500,000. The French Farmhouse style pile on swank St. Pierre Road now has an asking price of $7,900,000. The three-quarter acre property is heavily secured and includes well tended specimen gardens, a guest house, a pool and pool house and The Jonas Brothers for next door neighbors.
Marc Jacobs (Allgedly) Signs Contract for West Village Townhouse
BUYER: Marc Jacobs (allegedly)LOCATION: Bethune Street, New York, NY
PRICE: around $13,000,000
SIZE: around 4,500 square feet
DESCRIPTION: ...Each one of a kind 4-6 bedroom townhouse-ranging from 3,800 to 4,800 square feet and 24' to 29' in width-has its own all-level elevator, wood burning fireplaces, designer garden and roof top terrace...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We apologize for our unexpected absence children. Your Mama recently winged to the glittery City by the Bay for the wild and wicked wedding of our ferociously lurid confrere Falsetta Knockers who finally managed to convince her louche literary lover to marry her naughty ass in a performance packed ceremony that Your Mama imagines will be a theatrical tour de force of singing, dancing and, since Miss Knockers can't help herself, unnecessary nudity
Our pal Patty Cake, who resides primarily on the other coast with her teeny-tiny canine, was kind enough to let Your Mama hole up in her recently rehabbed flat with it's dangerously slick wood floors and panoramic views over the great San Francisco Bay. Unfortunately, getting our trusty laptop to synch up with Miss Cake's internet service has proved a futile farce. Therefore, we've been forced to pilfer the wireless services of a nearby neighbor who made the mistake of not password encoding their signal. However, the signal is unreliable at best so we'll do what we can to work our poor fingers to the nubbins and pound out a few words before the signal goes dead.
Anyhoo...on to the real estate...
Late last week, while Your Mama was wrestling with Miss Cake's impotent internet service, all sorts of reports came out that the ballyhooed and tattooed fashion phenom Marc Jacobs and his Brazilian boy-beau Lorenzo Martone plunked down a wad of cash to secure a contract for a $13,000,000 townhouse in New York City's West Village. The first report seems to have come from the NY Post which stated that after looking at downtown properties for some time, they settled on an approximately 4,500 square foot townhouse on Bethune Street designed by Robert A.M. Stern.
Well children, let's be honest, there really aren't that many thirteen million dollar, Robert A.M. Stern designed townhouses on Bethune Street, so a little unscientific deduction and a few minutes tinkering around on the always helpful StreetEasy website, we've determined that if the reporting is accurate (and we don't know if it is or not), it's most logical that the sometimes cerulean haired Mister Jacobs and his man-friend Lorenzo are planning on purchasing one of the 7 newly built townhouses that are part of the yet to be completed Superior Ink condominium complex that anchors the corner of Bethune Street and the West Side Highway.
Some of the children who are wearing their thinking caps may recall that the Superior Ink building is the same residential development project where two time Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank reportedly signed a contract for a $3,500,000 two-bedroom apartment.
Mister Stern, the same swank architect responsible for the frighteningly expensive 15 Central Park West building, has done up the front facades of the row of seven townhouses to fit seamlessly with the historic architectural vernacular of the formerly bohemian now atrociously gentrified West Village while the interiors–which can be done up by either Mister Stern or the more arty-farty Yabu Pushelberg–are meant to be four or five floors of pure new-fangled fabulosity. Each of the townhouses has private elevator serving all floors, a rear terrace, a roof terrace, all the most modern electronic conveniences and we've heard (but can not confirm) through the gossip grapevine that each of the townhouses is accessible via underground tunnel from the parking garage and apartment tower.
To top it all off, according the the development's website, the entire complex is registered with the U.S. Green Building Council and the developers are aiming at achieving LEED Silver Certification which will make it one of the more energy friendly and politically correct condo complexes in New York City.
The Superior Ink Condominiums and Townhouses are newly constructed structures located on the site of the former Superior Ink factory that was built in 1919. The high-priced complex's dee-luxe amenities include a private screening room, an entertainment lounge, a fitness center with a Pilates/yoga room, a children's playroom, 24-hour valet parking, and 24-hour concierge and doorman services in the tower.
According to the always on top of things people at The Real Deal, Mister Jacobs is currently leasing a 3 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom apartment at the Jean Nouvel designed 40 Mercer Street in Soho, for which he's paying a reported thirty grand a month. Retail sales may be in the damn terlit, but apparently Mister Jacobs still has a mountain of money to throw around on real estate. Good for him. We should all be so lucky.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Another Behemoth Beverly Hills Beast Hits the Market
SELLER: Lou GondaLOCATION: Lexington Road, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $35,000,000
SIZE: 16,733 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms (as per assessor)
DESCRIPTION: ...Situated behind the Beverly Hills Hotel on over 1.5 acres of finely manicured grounds, complete with salt water, mosaic tiled pool, n/s championship tennis court, complete guest house, flat grass pad with meandering pathways, streams, waterfalls and creek. This Georgian-style traditional estate was built using the finest materials and craftsmanship of unparalleled quality. Large-scale rooms with an intimate feel create an inviting home of magnificent proportions...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple of weeks ago, Your Mama discussed a number of mega-mansions currently for sale in Los Angeles wherein we briefly mentioned the Beverly Hills home of aircraft leasing billionaire Lou Gonda. At the time, we were not aware of the house being on the open market, but thanks to Snooping Sebastian, it's come to our attention that Mister Gonda's Lexington Road residence has arrived on the open market with an asking price of $35,000,000, reduced from it's original (off-market) asking price of $42,000,000.
According to an earlier report in The Wall Street Journal, much of Mister Gonda's mountain of money came from his huge holdings in a little company called American International Group, Inc., otherwise known as AIG. We all know what's happened to AIG, right? When AIG's share prices plummeted from $60 to $2, Mister Gonda lost untold millions of dollars.
Your Mama don't know nuthin' from nuthin' about Mister Gonda's personal finances, but this severe drop in net worth may have something to do with the little known bizness man putting his big Beverly Hills house on the market. Of course, it should be no surprise that Mr. Gonda told the good people at The Wall Street Journal that his children are grown, he and the wifey want to travel more and therefore no longer need such a significantly sized home and also that the family began diversifying there assets away from AIG six years ago which he said "has served us well." We'll let the children decide what they think is truth and what is fiction in all that.
Records on file with the County of Los Angeles show the Georgian-style pile's taxable square footage is 16,733, but we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that number does not account for all the interior spaces because children, this house is a monster. Records also show there are 6 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms and listing information indicates there is also a guest house.
The meticulously maintained 1.5 acre estate includes a 5-car garage, a properly aligned north/south tennis court separated from the mosaic tiled salt water swimming pool by a long pavilion, enough lawn to pitch a large tent for philanthropic functions, meandering paths, waterfalls and creeks.
The interior spaces are, according to listing information, both "large-scale...with an intimate feel." We'll just have to take the listing agent's word on that since there are not currently any photos of the interior spaces that we were able to locate in our pre-caffeinated state. However, we'd imagine they are as opulent and lavish in that special way that only billionaires and Beverly Park residents do up their day-core.
Given that there are a butt-load of behemoth mansions with $20+ million price tags currently on the market in Los Angeles, Your Mama fears Mister Gonda faces some stiff real estate competition for the small pool of qualified buyers who are still looking to spend the big bucks for a house in which they can live like pashas and Gilded Age robber barons.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Justin Berfield Sells Newlywed's Nest
SELLER: Justin BerfieldLOCATION: Lorena Drive, Calabasas, CA
PRICE: $3,995,000
SIZE: 5 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Situated in a guard-gated community, this privately gated home has been impeccably remodeled. The towering entryway has an exquisite wrought iron staircase & zen-like fountain while the open floor plan showcases the walls of windows. Exceptional amenities include: a restaurant style wine cellar, home theater & recording studio/gym. Chef s kitchen w/state-of-the art stainless steel appls. & can accommodate either intimate dining or a large catered event....
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is working on all ferreting out the 411 on a number of interesting celebrity real estate transactions, but we've yet to nail any of them down solidly enough to discuss them. So rather than look like a fool who does not know what we're talking about (which we admit sometimes happens despite out efforts not to), we're going to piggy back on the recent report of the lovely Ann Brenoff at the Los Angeles Times who revealed that former Malcom in the Middle actor turned producer Justin Berfield listed his Calabasas crib for $3,995,000.
If the children will put on their thinking caps, they might recall that young Mister Berfield only purchased the property in January of 2006 for $3,750,000 from dee-vorcing newlyweds Nick Lachey and that poor Jessica Simpson gurl who can't seem to stop her career from its slow and sad slide down the Tinseltown terlit. The former couple filmed their reality program Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica in this house and it was the scene of many embarrassing moments for the former Miz Lachey who Your Mama sincerely hopes is smarter than she appeared to be on that program.
Mister Berfield's "Trendy Contemporary Estate" above Lorena Drive in one of the many gated communities that surround the Calabasas Golf and Country Club. The house shares a driveway with an adjacent vacant buildable parcel that is owned by someone who is not Mister Berfield, Mister Lachey or Miss Simpson. Our tattletell tells us that Mister Berfield has a first right of refusal to purchase the land if the owner chooses to sell. Who knows if that right of refusal will transfer to the new owner. But if not, the current owners could build a big house that would likely share the gates and driveway to Mister Berfields house. Make sense?
Property records and listing information show the recently rehabbed, quasi-Mediterranean style mansion measures 6,483 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms. Each of the bedrooms features its own private pooper and the master suite is comprised of a bedroom, a sitting area with fireplace, a big ol' bathroom, spacious walk in closets and a private balcony with views over the tiled roofs of all the other quasi-Mediterranean style mansions that line the gated streets that surround the Calabasas Golf and Country Club.
The meant to impress the guests rotunda entrance hall features a curving staircase with wrought iron details and a "zen-like fountain." Other amenities include formal living and dining rooms, a gore-may kitchen with state of the art stainless steel appliances, a wine cellar, home theater and a room that, apparently, does double duty as a recording studio and a gym.
Listing information also shows the back yard includes a "dramatic pool & overflow spa," whatever that is, as well as a "draped cabana & hotel style lounging areas." Sounds like Mister Berfield and his nice gay decorator have gone hog wild turning what is really a very ordinary, if very expensive, crib in Calabasas into a wonderland perfect for a bevy barely dressed babes to lay around and hope young Mister Berfield can get them on the boob-toob.
According to Miz Brenoff, 23-year old former child actor wants to unload his suburban mansion so that he can move to the glittery shores of Malee-boo where he'll have easier access to the offices of the film and tee-vee companies he formed in Venice.
UPDATE: Mariah Carey
Nothing like a little real estate rumor and gossip to start the morning...
A few weeks ago, Your Mama revealed that whistle stop warbler Mariah Carey was sniffing around Los Angeles for a west coast crib. Well, hold on to your britches children because new reports have surfaced that Miss Mariah and her man-mate Nick Cannon have made an offer on Fleur de Lys, the $125,000,000 Holmby Hills architectural extravaganza owned by couture queen Suzanne Saperstein who was granted the wildly lavish and ridiculously ritzy residential beast in her much yakked about dee-vorce from Texan tycoon David Saperstein.
The faux French pile sits on 5+ acres of choice real estate and measures a boo-teek hotel-sized 35,046 square feet. (Some reports put the place at closer to 45,000 square feet and it probably is when you add up all the interior spaces including the pool house and staff quarters.) In addition to a dozen or more rooms filled with a freighter-full of exceedingly expensive 18th century furniture, there are 12 bedroom and 15 bathrooms, a gen-u-wine ballroom, 2 kitchens, a massage room, and a 50 seat movie theater, a three bedroom manager's house plus staff quarters for 10 or more. The over the top day-core features Italian marble walls, French limestone floors, gold embossed leather wall coverings and more gold was used for leafing the moldings than is held in Fort damn Knox.
Anyhoo, like most people, Your Mama is as flummoxed, flabbergasted and generally in need of a nerve pill whenever we think of Fleur de Lys, but is it our humble and meaningless opinion that Miz Saperstein's dream house is far to serious a house for a woman like Mariah Carey who reportedly had a Hello Kitty themed bathroom installed in her TriBeCa triplex in New York City–the one she bought after her offer to buy Barbra Streisand's apartment on the Upper West Side was roundly rejected.
It is our understanding that the fantastical Fleur de Lys, currently the most expensive property on the open market in Los Angeles, has been looked at by a fair number of moneyed-up magnates and foreign potentates and, according to our amigo Kenny Kissintell, Miz Saperstein, "Foolishly turned down an offer of $80,000,000 from a Chinese gentleman." Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches she's kicking her well preserved Pilates booty over not taking that offer now.
We're skeptical of this whole thing, as is our well positioned pal Nelly Knowsitall, a glammy gal with long lacquered nails firmly on the pulse of all things real estate related in the Platinum Triangle. Besides, let's be honest children, Miss Mariah is rich, but she is not Fleur de Lys rich. Plus we hear that she's been peeping and pecking around for much less expensive properties in Encino. That's right, Encino.
UPDATE LATER SAME DAY: For what it's worth we've now heard from several of our sources who are adamant this story–which first appeared on Contact Music's website–is entirely untrue. In fact, one of our sources swears that Mariah never even set foot on the property. Which makes sense, because like we said earlier, she's rich, but she's not in the same real estate sandbox and the dee-voonly over the top and insanely wealthy Miz Saperstein.
A few weeks ago, Your Mama revealed that whistle stop warbler Mariah Carey was sniffing around Los Angeles for a west coast crib. Well, hold on to your britches children because new reports have surfaced that Miss Mariah and her man-mate Nick Cannon have made an offer on Fleur de Lys, the $125,000,000 Holmby Hills architectural extravaganza owned by couture queen Suzanne Saperstein who was granted the wildly lavish and ridiculously ritzy residential beast in her much yakked about dee-vorce from Texan tycoon David Saperstein.
The faux French pile sits on 5+ acres of choice real estate and measures a boo-teek hotel-sized 35,046 square feet. (Some reports put the place at closer to 45,000 square feet and it probably is when you add up all the interior spaces including the pool house and staff quarters.) In addition to a dozen or more rooms filled with a freighter-full of exceedingly expensive 18th century furniture, there are 12 bedroom and 15 bathrooms, a gen-u-wine ballroom, 2 kitchens, a massage room, and a 50 seat movie theater, a three bedroom manager's house plus staff quarters for 10 or more. The over the top day-core features Italian marble walls, French limestone floors, gold embossed leather wall coverings and more gold was used for leafing the moldings than is held in Fort damn Knox.
Anyhoo, like most people, Your Mama is as flummoxed, flabbergasted and generally in need of a nerve pill whenever we think of Fleur de Lys, but is it our humble and meaningless opinion that Miz Saperstein's dream house is far to serious a house for a woman like Mariah Carey who reportedly had a Hello Kitty themed bathroom installed in her TriBeCa triplex in New York City–the one she bought after her offer to buy Barbra Streisand's apartment on the Upper West Side was roundly rejected.
It is our understanding that the fantastical Fleur de Lys, currently the most expensive property on the open market in Los Angeles, has been looked at by a fair number of moneyed-up magnates and foreign potentates and, according to our amigo Kenny Kissintell, Miz Saperstein, "Foolishly turned down an offer of $80,000,000 from a Chinese gentleman." Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches she's kicking her well preserved Pilates booty over not taking that offer now.
We're skeptical of this whole thing, as is our well positioned pal Nelly Knowsitall, a glammy gal with long lacquered nails firmly on the pulse of all things real estate related in the Platinum Triangle. Besides, let's be honest children, Miss Mariah is rich, but she is not Fleur de Lys rich. Plus we hear that she's been peeping and pecking around for much less expensive properties in Encino. That's right, Encino.
UPDATE LATER SAME DAY: For what it's worth we've now heard from several of our sources who are adamant this story–which first appeared on Contact Music's website–is entirely untrue. In fact, one of our sources swears that Mariah never even set foot on the property. Which makes sense, because like we said earlier, she's rich, but she's not in the same real estate sandbox and the dee-voonly over the top and insanely wealthy Miz Saperstein.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Madonna in Palm Beach?
WHO: Madonna Ciccone Penn RitchieLOCATION: Sheltingham Drive, Wellington, FL
PRICE: $50,000/month
SIZE: 9,500 square feet (approx.) 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...This immaculate custom home, selling not only fully furnished with interior design by noted N.Y. designer, also includes brand new tvs, electronic systems, new linens, etc. The main house house 5 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms with 3 master suites and a separate guest house. There is an indoor/outdoor living flow around the pool with a fabulous outdoor kitchen.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: According to one of Your Mama's sources (and Palm Beach gossip Jose Lambiet), maneating Madonna Ciccone Penn Ritchie has forked over a hefty $50,000 to lease a mansion for one month behind the gates of the posh Palm Beach Polo and Country Club in Wellington, FL where she can spend some quality time with her new besties, professional polo stud Nacho Figueras and his wifey Delfina.
Her Madgesty has reportedly been spending an increasing amount of time in the Palm Beach area and according to Señor Lambiet, she's pecking around for a Palm Beach pad. Pleeze. Your Mama would love nothing more than to witness the glorious spectacle of the well preserved 50 year old superstar storming the staid shores of Palm Beach with her posse of pretty boys, security goons and sycophants, but somehow we sort of doubt the Kabbalah Kween is looking to put down real roots in Palm Beach. Maybe. Could be. She has owned a house in Florida before. However, real estate rumors constantly swirl around Madonna and should be seen, heard and read with a giant grain of salt and cynicism. Wasn't it just a couple of weeks ago that everyone thought she was dumping thity-eight million clams on a new townhouse in Manhattan, a purchase that has yet to materialize? With this bee-hawtcha, it's all real estate rumor and gossip until she actually scratches her name on the deed's dotted line.
Anyhoo, thanks to our pal the Palm Beach Bizzy Bee, we've uncovered a few facts and figures about the property where Madonna and clan are rumored to be bunking. Property records show the mansion once belonged to BET network co-founder Sheila Johnson and measures 6,277 square feet while listing information puts it at about 9,500 square feet, a number that includes the 650 square foot guest house where Madge can park her scantily clad men in waiting.
Listing information shows the property includes a total of 6 bedrooms , 7 full and 2 half bathrooms which means, of course, that Her Highness will likely need to bring her terlit gurl down from New York because somehow we don't imagine one of Lourdes' chores is to scrub down the terlits.
The interiors spaces of her rental residence were apparently did up by a big name N.Y. designer, and while it all looks like a thousand other Palm Beach mansions, it seems a bit grey haired for a middle aged gal desperate to retain her youth and beauty.
The back of the house faces the golf course and opens to a long and deep covered terraced with gauzy curtains, a swimming pool, spa, pool pavilion and outdoor kitchen where her current conquest, 22- year old male model Jesus Luz–who has reportedly moved in to her New York City spread–can cook up whatever sort of macrobiotic vittles won't slip through the grill on the barbecue pit.
Miz Madonna's Palm Beach proclivities are certainly interesting to Your Mama, but what we really want to know is now that she's a dee-vor-say, what's going to happen to her the double wide townhouse in London she shared with the ex-huzband and what's the fate of her big house in Beverly Hills that sits on a particularly swank section of Sunset Boulevard? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Monday, March 16, 2009
UPDATE: Ricardo Montaban
SELLER: Estate of Ricardo MontalbanLOCATION: Oriole Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $20,000,000
SIZE: 6,679 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The Montalban House, designed by Ricardio Legorreta, FAIA, 1986. A masterwork of cubistic forms and volumes are framed by head-on city, canyon and ocean views. The house reflects a spirited interplay of space, color and light typical of Legorreta's work. On an acre+ knoll, this legendary house features 3 bedrooms up + 2 bedrms dn + guest suite, den, huge LR, formal dining room, swimmers pool, large patio, and motor court for approx. 15 cars.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple of weeks ago Your Mama whispered to the children that we had heard from two well positioned Beverly Hills bean spillers that the bird Street aerie of recently deceased actor Ricardo Montalban was about to hit the market with an asking price of around twenty million clams. And, it has.
Thanks to Our Fairy Godmother High Above the Sunset Strip, we've learned that the architecturally significant and visually challenging house has indeed arrived on the open market with a big, round asking price of $20,000,000.
Now children, Your Mama asks that y'all just look right past the dated day-core and the upsetting mirrored wall in the dining room which are completely lacking in charm and have no viable or recognizable relationship to or with the architectural language of Casa Montalban. We ask not only because it's just not nice or in good taste to speak ill of the dead but because the new owner of this house, whomever that will be, will surely hire a smart architect (perhaps even the eponymous firm of the original architect Ricardo Legorreta) and a nice gay decorator who will work the place over, up, down, sideways and inside-out like only the very rich can afford to do.
The house is approached by a gently curving driveway that rises ever so slightly to the massive 15+ car motor court that has more in common stylistically with the central plaza of some dusty down in Oaxaca than the motor court of a heavy duty house high in the hills of Los Angeles that carries an 8-figure asking price. At the front of the property two tall hedges enclose an small area which could be used as a secret garden, a vegetable garden, a private play yard for the children's swing set or just for hiding unsightly things like storage sheds, broken down bicycles and chopped wood.
The residence measures 6,679 dee-lishus square feet of stacked cubes and vast planes that make Your Mama feel all warm and fuzzy inside. We understand this sort of residential architecture is not for everyone, but we happen to love these stripped down minimalist Mexican haciendas and their brutally unapologetic and forbidding facades that Señor Legorreta and fellow Mexican master Luis Barragán were so damn good at bringing to life. Always have, always will.
According to listing information, 3 of the house's six bedrooms are upstairs, 2 are located on the ground floor and there is an additional guest suite (or a staff suite if you're well to do and nice to your live-ins). The large living room features tiles floors and two gigantic windows that flank the fireplace which is really nothing more that a black hole in the wall. The windows look across the rear terrace, over the mountains above the Sunset Strip and across the glittering lights of Los Angeles.
On the north side of the house, a long narrow swimmers pool runs along a wide and private terrace which is paved with the same tiles as the floors on the interior and where the Montalbans could have tanned their nood booties in the scorching southern California sunshine, were they inclined to do so.
All around the house built-in seating areas beckon and covered terraces call for lazy afternoons sipping gin and tonics and reading all the latest gossip glossies. Landscaping is minimal, natch and consists primarily of easy maintenance and drought friendly cactus gardens and gravel, which is a good thing considering California is, in fact, facing a drought. And for the record, Your Mama does not want to hear about how some of the children think the drought is some sort of punishment from heaven or that it's just another one of those many things that make living in California such an obscene idea. There are disasters and drawbacks to just about every part of the U-nited States of America –do y'all remember that thing called Katrina that wreaked havoc on the Gulf States or the Mississippi River running over, flooding and ravaging mile after mile of the Midwest. If you prefer tornadoes to earthquakes or ice storms to droughts, so be it, to each they own.
Interestingly all three houses that occupy the same knoll as the Montalban House either are or have recently been for sale. Next door sits the relatively newly built Tuscan behemoth that belongs to some hedge (fund) hog and is currently listed at blistering $28,000,000 and next to that is crooner Lionel Richie's old house that now belongs to some bigwig Scientologist that has been for sale on an off since 2005 and was until very recently listed on the open market with an asking price of $16,500,000 (reduced from $17,500,000).
A South Park Executive Producer Is Moving On
SELLER: Anne GarefinoLOCATION: Coldwater Canyon Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $1,795,000
SIZE: 2,112 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Welcome to this inviting 3+2.5 fabulous home with a retreat-like backyard. Beautiful built-ins, hardwood floors and French doors throughout. Fantastically remodeled, large, eat-in kitchen. Lovely master with French doors. Most rooms look out to gorgeous greenery. Breathtaking tranquil backyard with stunning pool, lush landscaping and wonderful outdoor sitting areas.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Before we begin discussing this property, Your Mama needs to get our damn wooden spoon out of the drawer and swat it around a bit. Thanks to a large number of loyal and long time readers, it has come to our attention that there are a few disgruntled, bitter and hostile individuals hanging about the comments section making it unpleasant for the vast majority of the other children. So we spent bit of time perusing through the comments section the last couple of days–which we do not normally d0–and we were mor-ti-fied at some of the foul and offensive comments.
To those of you who seem to enjoy creating controversy and stirring up shit in our comments section, you are through messing with Your Mama's baby. Don't like it? Too damn bad. This is our house and we do not appreciate and will not tolerate you coming in here pissing on the floor and crapping on the carpets with a total disregard for Your Mama and everyone else. Take your free-floating anger and unrestrained bile and go elsewhere.
We love that the children talk to each other, have opinions about the properties we write about and otherwise form a sort of "community." However, if the comments sections is going to be ruined by a bunch of anuses making stoopid, aggressive and nasty comments about other children (and Your Mama), then screw it, we'll just turn the damn comments section off because we do not have time to police morons. Got it?
As for the rest of the children who play nicely in our sandbox...please ignore the imbeciles. Engaging him/her/them just provides the attention these people so desperately seek. Your Mama can hardly even believe that anyone would be so wrecked they need to come on to a stupid blog about celebrity real estate in order to get the attention they must be lacking in their "real" lives. Honestly! That is just pathetic.
Now then, back to our regular scheduled programming...
Comedy Central's award winning, sassy and seriously satirical animated sit-com South Park, which debuted in 1997, has made many people wildly rich including executive producer Anne Garefino who recently put her Beverly Hills (Post Office) home on the market with an asking price of $1,795,000.
Although we are not now nor ever been die-hard South Parkians who can claim to have sat through every episode, Your Mama is a devoted contrarian who can't help but love any tee-vee program that unflinchingly takes on the taboo, the sacred and the profane. South Park, created by comedy geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone, never shies away from controversy and although the celebrity skewering and religion bashing boob-toob program has many times landed the shows producers in boiling hot water with everyone from network censors to Tom Cruise to the damn Pope, it's also earned Miz Garefino 3 Emmys and 5 more nominations. Not bad for a show with a recurring character that is a talking piece of poo.
Property records show Miz Garefino purchased her Coldwater Canyon Drive property in May of 2000 for $740,000. A few flicks of the well worn beads our our bejeweled abacus reveals that if Miz Garefino gets anywhere near her asking price, she'll pocket nearly a million clams for her stewardship of the property. Records also show she bought the house from Steve Hermann, one of Los Angeles' more successful and well-known house flippers who may (or may not) be the person responsible for the updating and upgrading of what is essentially, from an architectural stand point, a very basic and banal Bevery Hills ranch house located on a very busy street.
Listing information indicates the single story house measures a modest for Beverly Hills 2,112 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. Fortunately, the house is accessed by a circular drive that allows Miz Garefino and guest to pull off the property moving forward because, let's be honest children, backing out of a driveway on Coldwater Canyon can be hazardous to one's health at any time of day or night.
The main living spaces face the rear of the property and include a sky lit living and dining room combination with a fireplace, sloping ceiling and two walls with wood framed pane-less French doors that open to the back yard. While the living room day-core is certainly functional if not particularly inspired, those dining room chairs are disruptive to our delicate design equilibrium. The only thing worse than the deeply disturbing dining room chairs which are upholstered in periwinkle fabric is the wonky "chandelier" light fixture thing that looks like five of those stoopid ghosts from Pacman hanging from the damn ceiling.
The renovated eat in kitchen looks very late 1990s to Your Mama, but all things considered, is far from terrible. There are flat fronted maple cabinets with long stainless steel pulls, over head cabinets with frosted glass fronts, some glass tile accents and speckled granite counter tops that we recommend the new owner replace because, well, because we think changing the counter tops would help save the kitchen from going the way of the belly button piercing which was crazy fashionable in 1992, but has become too common to be considered even remotely cool or stylish anymore.
In addition to the two secondary bedrooms, a small library/den/office where Miz Garefino has actual books (hooray!) and a nice view of the lushly planted hillside gardens. The master is adequately sized unless you're the type that requires a seating area with a couple of couches flanking a fireplace. There is a row of pane-less french doors that open to the rear deck and a too beige bathroom with tumbled limestone tile accents and round mirrors that hang over the double sinks and flank one of the well aerated terlit room's two windows.
A deck runs the length of the rear of the house some of which is tucked under the deep eaves and some of which is covered with a trellis with wisteria winding in and our of the slatted trellis. The kidney-shaped, heated lagoon like swimming pool and spa has been sunk into the lawn with a simple brick coping. Both Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter appreciate that the pool is somewhat small. Who needs one of these monster pools with a damn slide and shit?
Miz Garefino's South Park is contracted for 14 episodes per year through 2011, so she'll have some sizable checks rolling in for another few years after which she'll start making the real money, the re-run residuals money that can turn an ordinary rich person in a filthy stinking rich person practically overnight. Well, bra-vah! We should all be so lucky to get ridiculously rich working on such clever and irreverent fare.
Friday, March 13, 2009
A Couple Of Design Queens Sell A Small House.
SELLERS: A couple of design queens named Josh and RaphaelLOCATION: Udell Court, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $767,000
SIZE: 1,080 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom
DESCRIPTION: Tastefully renovated, this designer-owned and published modern Hamptons beach house in the Franklin Hills is tucked away on a cul-de-sac yet very near Sunset Junction, Trader Joe's and Gelson's. This enchanted home includes two bedrooms with an office or third bedroom, one bathroom, and a detached studio. Skylights and French windows throughout the house bring in lots of natural light. A fully enclosed backyard with mature landscaping and views is perfect for pets and everyone to enjoy.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama has become a bit weary of looking at super-sized celebrity homes that are too big, too decorated and too expensive for most people to even fantasize about, so this afternoon we're going to do something a little bit different and look at a wee house in the Franklin Hills area of Los Angeles that is listed for sale (and appears to be in escrow) with an asking price of $767,000.
Property records reveal the teeny-tiny cottage was purchased in July of 2006 for $636,000 by Emmy winning visual effects designer Joshua Rose and his Chinese medicine practicing man-mate Raphael Kalichstein. At the time, the good looking design queens purchased the house on Udell Court, it was a serious fixer that only a nice gay decorator could appreciate. If you don't believe Your Mama, head over to the dee-lightful and always informative Apartment Therapy who featured before and after photos of the house way back in July of 2007.
Records show the house measures a pint-sized 1,080 square feet and listing information indicates there are just 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. In addition to the decent sized living room and the wonky shaped and sky lit dining room, the house includes a kitchen with cabinets painted a striking shade of green, and an office separated from the living room with a set of French doors that have been given a nifty navy blue and black paint treatment. Somewhere on the property, maybe in the house or maybe in some sort of detached shed-like structure, is Mister Kalichstein's treatment room which features a high ceiling, a wood floor and some built in cabinetry.
Now, before you children go ripping this place to shreds, keep in mind that these two gentlemen get paid to decorate other people's homes and just because it may not be your taste, does not mean it's not in good taste. The comely couple operate a small interior design firm called FORM based on the idea that working with an interior designer should not be a luxury for only the rich and ought to be affordable to folks with modest bank accounts.
For what it's worth, we happen to think these two decorating dynamos can really do a room over without overdoing a room. Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter both like the white walls set against the dark window frames which are enhanced by the brightly colored furniture, accessories and knick-knacks. It is our humble and utterly meaningless opinion that Mister Rose and Mister Kalichstein have successfully transformed the interior spaces of an architecturally lackluster house with wonky exterior articulation into a contemporary home filled with light and color that does not look too precious to actually live in or like it's adhering to any particular "school" of interior day-core.
That we think that will come as no surprise to anyone who was ever in Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's weekend house which we no longer own but had a very similar (if a little less glossy) day-core. In fact, their kitchen is much like our kitchen except where they've got green, we had a very bright yellow. We don't know if the new owners kept the color, but if they did not, we do not want to know because it was gorgeous.
Given that this couple clearly spent a few buck rehabbing this residence it does not look like they're going to pocket much in the way of profit. None the less, Your Mama hopes they're on to bigger and better digs where they'll have bit more room to exercise and stretch their design ideas.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sally Field Selling Malibu Manse
SELLER: Sally FieldLOCATION: McAnany Way, Malibu
PRICE: $6,950,000
SIZE: 5,964 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Privacy abounds on the close-in yet completely secluded three acre Malibu celebrity estate. Approximately 6,000 sq. ft. well appointed two-story home complete with updated chef's kitchen, over sized master wing, separate guest apartment, beautifully manicured grounds, lighted tennis court, pool, three stall horse paddock, hay barn and so much more. Property has direct acces to riding trails on over 2,000 acres of park land.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama knows we are a little late to the rodeo on this one having already been discussed here, there and everywhere, but we do not want to hear it from any of the sassy children because we carry a candle in our cold, dark heart for Miz Sally Field, so we're gonna say a few words anyway.
Miz Field, who currently tears up the boob-toob on that maudlin but unfortunately addictive Brothers and Sisters program that the Dr. Cooter got us hooked on, recently listed her three-ish acre Malee-boo estate with an asking price of $6,950,000.
Love her or not–and Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter both love her like the dickens–she's one of Tinseltown's most decorated actresses who has managed to remain a relevant since her days as Gidget and The Flying Nun in the 1960s, which for those children who can't count (and we suspect there are a few of you out there), that's more than 40 damn years ago. The formidable (and oft criticized) actress has taken home two Oscars including for her lead role in 1979s Norma Rae and the other one in 1985 when she made that acceptance speech that has haunted her for nearly 3 decades. She's also got three Emmys plus 4 additional nominations including one for her soo-blime performance in Sybil and 2 Golden Globes plus 8 additional nominations. And those, children, are just the mac daddy awards. Bee-hawtcha has more awards and nominations that Your Mama can count on our fingers and toes.
Anyhoo, records reveal the smart, savvy and politically vocal Miz Field (remember the 2007 Emmys?) picked up her perfectly private property in May of 2004 for $4,822,500.
Property records show the two-story house measures 5,964 square feet and listing information shows there are 5 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms including an impressive sounding "master wing" with a large bathroom all did up in a too Shabby Chic style for our personal taste.
The main living space appears to be an open plan situation where the formal living room area with its four powder blue velveteen armchairs and super shiny baby grand piano opens to a glassed in dining area with a long farmhouse table surrounded by 10 white oval backed Bergère chairs covered in chocolate fabric.
The dining area is open to the commodious kitchen that includes a large work island, and a second much smaller work island whose only purpose seem to be to keep Miz Field from bumping her head on that horrendous and huge pot rack. Sally, darlin', we adore you, but the pot rack hanging down in the middle of the damn room like that is a serious error in judgment and makes Your Mama want to puke. As far as we are concerned, cooking vessels belong in cupboards and not hanging from some damn metal contraption affixed to the ceiling. It's just not sanitary.
Anyhoo, there are several additional and casual sitting rooms including a family room with a brick fireplace, a screened porch with a great view of the mountains and bunch of wicker furniture that we hate, and a book shelf lined den with a gigantic chocolate brown sectional sofa and where if you look closely you can see an Emmy or two and a couple of Oscars. Additionally, according to listing information, there is an office, media room, a wine cellar, a sound studio (sound studio?) and a separate guest apartment so Miz Field need not worry about making coffee in the nood when she is hosting overnight guests.
The extensive grounds include a long, celebrity style driveway, a swimming pool surrounded by a big deck, a lighted tennis court (would Miz Field want to play doubles with Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter?), stables for three horses, and a large flat grassy area where she can pitch a tents or host a large party. The property backs up to 2,000 acres of park land with direct access to riding trails, something horsey types will find very appealing but is of no use to Your Mama who would sooner have a horse ride on our back than get up on a horse's back.
Previous to moving to Malee-boo, Miz Field lived for a very long time in a very privately situated house in Brentwood on 7th Helena Drive that records show she sold to Oscar nominated Aussie actress Naomi Watts in July of 2004 for $4,205,000 and who presumably shares the house with her man-mate and baby daddy Liev Schreiber.
Hugh Hefner Wants to Unload One Next Door
SELLERS: Hugh and Kimberly HefnerLOCATION: S. Mapleton Drive, Los Angeles
PRICE: $27,995,000
SIZE: 7,318 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Exquisite 2 Acre Country English Holmby Hills Manor. ADJACENT TO LOS ANGELES COUNTRY CLUB. This magnificent walled estate includes remarkable grounds and privacy. 2 story entry, spacious living room w/ fireplace & beautiful garden vistas, large family room adjoins the dining room & eat-in gourmet kitchen opening to charming outdoor terrace. Enormous motor court. Rolling lawns, mature trees and wonderful private pool area.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Octogenarian playboy Hugh Hefner keeps a few big breasted bunny hunnies up in the Playboy Mansion at all times, including those three not very smart seeming blondies that appeared on that ho-rrific The Girls Next Door reality program and who were recently replaced with a taut bodied set of teen aged twins named Karissa and Kristina and a third gal whose name Your Mama can't be bothered to figure out. However, despite all his catting around with mammoth mammaried women young enough to be his great-grandchildren, the ladee luvin' soft porn pusher actually has a wife. Well, sort of...
Kim Hefner, who was not surprisingly a former Playmate of the Year, married Mister Hefner in 1989 and quickly popped out a couple of Playboy progeny. The couple separated–but did not divorce–in 1999 and the Missus Hefner moved into the property immediately next door to Mister Hefner's house of ill repute where she has lived with her children and which she recently listed with an impressive asking price of $27,995,000.
Property records show that the once happy Hefners purchased the walled and gated 2.3 acre estate on S. Mapleton Drive in April of 1996. The records we accessed were a bit fuzzy (or maybe is was that Bloody Mary we had this morning), but the always informative Penny Pricegiver whispered in our big greedy ear that the Hefners paid $6,700,000 and, interestingly, financed the whole amount. They bought the estate from the estate of TV Guide heiress turned philanthropist Lita Annenberg Hazen–of the Annenbergs–whose sister Enid married a man named Haupt and famously occupied a spectacular doo-plex penthouse apartment at 740 Park Avenue which was sold with multiple bids in late 2006 for a reported twenty seven and a half million clams.
After she went to meet her maker (or whatever), Missus Haupt's terraced two bedroom aerie was purchased by former CEO of Merrill Lynch John Thain and his wifey Carmen. The Thains have been ravaged recently by the media who quite rightly took Mister Thain to task not only for for spending a jaw dropping $1.22 million smackers of company money to redecorate his private office at Merrill Lynch but also for handing out four billion bucks in bonuses just three days before Merrill Lynch was acquired to Bank of America for $50 billion. Missus Thain, a woman used to living well and spending big, took her lumps in the press when she infamously (and allegedly) asked the sales clerks at Hermès if they could place her purchases in a plain brown shopping bag, presumably so that it would not appear she was conspicuously consuming at a time when her huzband was being raked over the coals for his dirty deeds at Merrill Lynch.
Anyhoo, we digress. Some reports state that Mister and Missus Hefner are selling up the big house because their two sons will soon be off to college and the Holmby Hills sprawler is simply too big for the Missus to occupy all on her lonesome. Other earlier reports not related to the listing of the house indicate that like so many other moguls, Mister Hefner is feeling the financial pinch and has been told by his advisers to cut expenses and lay off employees or face bankruptcy.
Listing information for the house, which backs up the fancy-pants Los Angeles Country Club just like Candy Spelling's monster mansion down the road, reveals the well proportioned ivy-covered crib measures in at 7,318 square feet and contains 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms.
The house is approached through electronic gates that open to a stately circular driveway and a massive motor court at the front of the house. Listing information indicates the house includes a two story entrance hall, a large living room with one of the home's three fireplaces, a library with a second fireplace, a family room that adjoins the dining room and eat in kitchen which all open to the rear terrace and the soccer pitch sized lawn that clearly costs a small fortune to keep as green as a leprechaun's ass.
As an aside, Your Mama can't help but wonder what's going to happen to these leviathan lawns that stretch out in front and back of all the palatial Platinum Triangle mansions once the inevitable water rationing begins. Of course, the very well to do can afford to water their lawns at any cost. However, water rationing means they will be fined up the wazoo if they use more than their allotment and doing so will probably piss off the people doing their part by letting it mellow when its yellow.
Whatever the case, the grounds of Missus Hefner's home has been lushly landscaped and includes vast expanses of lawn and a large rectangular swimming pool with an old-fashioned diving board that is surrounded by not very appealing brick and concrete terracing. The property does not currently include a tennis court, but there is certainly room for one should the next owner be the racket swinging sort.
The back yard shares a very long lot line with the Playboy Mansion next door. While there's undoubtedly a certain amount of prurient ingtrigue that comes along with owning the house next door to Mister Hefner's famous party pad, we can imagine that it could get a little tiresome to listen to Hollywood hornbags like Jeremy Piven woo scantily clad bunny wannabes back to his lair in Malee-boo and we know that on the days Mister Hefner was hosting one of his famously debauched parties, it would require more then one nerve pill for Your Mama to cope with a few dozen bimbos with plastic breasts screaming and hollering the way bimbos with plastic breasts to often scream and holler when they get a few cocktails in them.
It's an interesting time for the Hefner's to put this house on the market given that there is a bit of a glut on high priced Platinum Triangle mansions at the moment. However, for all those who have not been wiped out by that beast Bernie Madoff or managed to get out of the market before it lost half it's value, there are any number of extremely large, lavish and well located estates with owners eager to dump them.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
It Is With A Heavy Heart...
...That Your Mama informs the children that one of the celebrity real estate gossip world's greatest has died.
We've just received word that Braden Keil, the exceedingly charming and well connected writer of the Gimme Shelter column in the NY Post, died last night after succumbing to a battle with melanoma, a sometimes fatal form of skin cancer.
Keil's column has been a weekly must read for real estate junkies ever since he penned his first juicy tidbits back in 2000.
Braden was a colleague and a friend who always had a kind word for Your Mama. We are truly and deeply saddened by his passing and our usually cold, darky and snarky heart goes out to to his wife and his three children.
We've just received word that Braden Keil, the exceedingly charming and well connected writer of the Gimme Shelter column in the NY Post, died last night after succumbing to a battle with melanoma, a sometimes fatal form of skin cancer.
Keil's column has been a weekly must read for real estate junkies ever since he penned his first juicy tidbits back in 2000.
Braden was a colleague and a friend who always had a kind word for Your Mama. We are truly and deeply saddened by his passing and our usually cold, darky and snarky heart goes out to to his wife and his three children.
UPDATE: Beverly Park
Last week Your Mama went on and on (and on) about the half dozen or so houses currently available for sale in the fascinating and frightfully ostentatious Beverly Park community which sits high above Beverly Hills.We also blathered on about a few of the Beverly Park behemoths that had recently been listed and removed from the open market before a deep pocketed buyer glided through the fabled and guarded gates. One of those properties is the 11,769 square foot Cape-Cod-ish crib of super producer Mike Medavoy and his wifey Irina which they listed in October of 2007 with an asking price of $23,500,000. The asking price was later reduced to $21,500,000 and the property was then removed from the open market after almost a year of twisting in the real estate wind.
Just a day or two after our discussion, and much to our surprise, the 2-acre Medavoy property popped back up on the MLS with a new, improved and lower asking price of $19,995,000.
The married Medavoys have apparently wanted to pack their bags and haul their hineys out of Beverly Park for quite some time because listing information we located reveals they've been trying to sell their 6 bedroom and 10 bathroom sprawler on and off ever since 2001 when they listed their white elephant at $15,750,000. Given that its new asking price is the lowest on any mansion (or mega-mansion) currently listed in the North section of Beverly Park, perhaps the Medavoys will have more luck selling their house than they have in the last six or seven or eight years.
We shall see children, we shall see.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Max Weinberg Goes Modern On Mulholland Drive
BUYER: Max WeinbergSELLERS: Naomi Foner and Stephen Gyllenhaal
LOCATION: Mulholland Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: We hear it's around $3,100,000
SIZE: 2,563 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Late last week we heard from Junebug, one of Your Mama's lovely bean spillers, who whispered in our big ear that the dueling and dee-vorcing Naomi Foner and Stephen Gyllenhaal–that would be Jake and Maggi's parents–finally sold their Mulholland Drive house which had been listed since early in 2008.
Junebug also told Your Mama that the buyer is Max Weinberg, the well known drummer for Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band as well as the leader of late night chat king Conan O'Brien's house band. Junebug rarely if ever steers us wrong and the veracity of his scuttlebutt was once again validated by property records that show Mister Weinberg and his wifey Becky closed on the house in mid-February of 2009.
The house had been removed from the market before the sale and we hear from Junebug (but can not confirm) the deal was done privately for an amount right around $3,100,000. Given that the property was first listed at $4,200,000 and later reduced to $3,495,000, Your Mama imagines that while the fighting Foner/Gyllenhaals must be thrilled to finally unload their real estate white elephant, if Junebug is right, they pocketed much less than they had hoped on the 2,563 square foot house that listing information and property records indicate contains 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.
If the children will put on their thinking caps, they will recall that the first time Your Mama discussed the Runyon Canyon adjacent residence was back in June of 2007 when the clashing couple put the house out for lease at a rather optimistic price of $20,000 per month.
The verbally jousting Gyllenhaal/Foners have long owned a house on Martha's Vineyard and while we suspect one of the two is holed up there, we find it hard to believe both would still be occupying that single residence.
As for Mister Weinberg, according to a report on Big Time Listings way back in 2007, this is not the first house he has owned in the Los Angeles area. In late 2006, the Weinbergs sold their ocean front house on Palisades Beach Road in Santa Monica for $6,400,000 and just a few months later, in April of 2007, flipped an 8,085 square foot contemporary crib in Brentwood's Moraga Estates that they purchased in July of 2006 for an undisclosed amount of money. (The house was listed at $8,200,000 at the time of the sale.)
Is Madonna Buying a Mansion?
Oh dear Jeezis in heaven, help Your Mama to live through this celebrity real estate brouhaha because, dammit, here we go again.
That's right children, apparently Madonna Ciccone Penn Ritchie's long time three-unit spread in the Harperley Hall building on the Upper West Side isn't quite big enough (or glam enough) for the recently dee-vorced superstar and her planetary ego because new reports are surfacing that she's prowling around for a New York City townhouse. Again.
The Rush & Molloy column in the New York Daily Mail recently reported that the Kabbalah Kween has got her eye on a $38,000,000 townhouse on the Upper East Side that claims a private garage which is, obviously, a nice feature for getting into and out of one's house without having to worry about a thousand paps trying to snap a picture of your pantiless cooch as you slide into or out of a waiting SUV.
We know of few townhouses that possess private garages and the only one we're aware currently on the market is a 12,000 square foot 13 bedroom beast that's listed at $42,000,000. That does not mean there's not another townhouse with a garage that's listed (or being privately offered) at $38,000,000, it just means that's the only one Your Mama can think of this early in the a.m.
Some snitches snicker that Madge has to to shop for townhouses because few (if any) of the persnickety co-op boards of "better" uptown buildings would even consider allowing such a notoriously publicity hungry celebrity (and her attendant entourage of nannies, security and personal assistants) to live up in and run rough-shod around their high-maintenance buildings.
Over the last few years, this bee-hawtcha has looked at more townhouses than Your Mama can count on our fingers and toes combined, so we'll believe man hunting Madge–whose newest beau is a boy-model young enough to be her son (you go on with your bad self Madonna)–is moving house when she moves house. Until then, it's just rumor and speculation, two things Madonna claims to hate but Your Mama thinks she secretly craves and loves because it keeps her name and face in the headlines. The proof is in the pudding kids...here we are yakking about the ladee and she ain't even bought a damn house yet.
Now then, Your Mama is going to go take a fat nerve pill and try to prepare ourselves for the real estate crazy that always ensues when Her Madgesty is involved.
That's right children, apparently Madonna Ciccone Penn Ritchie's long time three-unit spread in the Harperley Hall building on the Upper West Side isn't quite big enough (or glam enough) for the recently dee-vorced superstar and her planetary ego because new reports are surfacing that she's prowling around for a New York City townhouse. Again.
The Rush & Molloy column in the New York Daily Mail recently reported that the Kabbalah Kween has got her eye on a $38,000,000 townhouse on the Upper East Side that claims a private garage which is, obviously, a nice feature for getting into and out of one's house without having to worry about a thousand paps trying to snap a picture of your pantiless cooch as you slide into or out of a waiting SUV.
We know of few townhouses that possess private garages and the only one we're aware currently on the market is a 12,000 square foot 13 bedroom beast that's listed at $42,000,000. That does not mean there's not another townhouse with a garage that's listed (or being privately offered) at $38,000,000, it just means that's the only one Your Mama can think of this early in the a.m.
Some snitches snicker that Madge has to to shop for townhouses because few (if any) of the persnickety co-op boards of "better" uptown buildings would even consider allowing such a notoriously publicity hungry celebrity (and her attendant entourage of nannies, security and personal assistants) to live up in and run rough-shod around their high-maintenance buildings.
Over the last few years, this bee-hawtcha has looked at more townhouses than Your Mama can count on our fingers and toes combined, so we'll believe man hunting Madge–whose newest beau is a boy-model young enough to be her son (you go on with your bad self Madonna)–is moving house when she moves house. Until then, it's just rumor and speculation, two things Madonna claims to hate but Your Mama thinks she secretly craves and loves because it keeps her name and face in the headlines. The proof is in the pudding kids...here we are yakking about the ladee and she ain't even bought a damn house yet.
Now then, Your Mama is going to go take a fat nerve pill and try to prepare ourselves for the real estate crazy that always ensues when Her Madgesty is involved.
Diane Keaton Goes On the Open Market in Beverly Hills
SELLER: Diane KeatonLOCATION: N. Roxbury Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $12,995,000
SIZE: 8,434 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A classic and true example of Colonial Revival architecture originally designed by architect Ralph Flewelling, now brilliantly restored via a collaboration of 2 significant "artists." A monumental front door leads to entry hall/library & thru arches are both DR and LR. The home embraces an inner crtyd w/ fountain that separates kitch/FR on 1 side, from media rm, intimate den and upstairs. Mstr ste w/ dual BAs + 3 add'l BR stes. A sep. gst ste. Pool & yard, paths lined by Olive trees.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A few months ago, our comely confidant Kenny Kissintell whispered in our big ol' ear that the quirky, kooky and dee-voon actress Diane Keaton was overhauling her pedigreed pad in a fine section of the Beverly Hills flats. A few months later, in November of 2008, the recently rehabbed residence appeared in all its glory on the glossy pages of Architectural Digest. Now, thanks to Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills, we've discovered that Oscar winning Miz Keaton has officially listed the house with an asking price of $12,995,000.
As everyone knows, Miz Keaton is a prolific flipper of architecturally significant homes all over Los Angeles, including the Navarro House in Los Feliz (later owned and sold by Christina Ricci) and the Alfred Newman Estate in Pacific Palisades. However, Miz Keaton has a special affection for early California history and as such her most thrilling and soo-blime residential re-dos are the several Spanish style cases she's restored, rehabbed and renovated over the years including a Wallace Neff designed house in the Beverly Hills flats that she sold to Madonna (who, in turn, sold it in 2004).
Now children, the house-hopping hat freak Miz Keaton does not usually list her houses on the open market, so her private residence popping up on the MLS has Your Mama a little stumped, stymied and soo-prised. Perhaps, like so many others looking to unload prime real estate in Southern California, she's caught up in the slow down and had little luck finding anyone willing to cough up the cash for the pristine property off-market.
Miz Keaton has long worked cheek by jowl on her restoration projects with a nice gay decorator from New York named Steven Shadley.* The designing duo's latest collaboration is the 8,434 square foot hacienda style house on N. Roxbury Drive which is now available for sale. Miz Keaton entered a contract to purchase house in the early 2000s, but backed out when her feet went cold thinking about the significant amount of work the house needed. However, when the house became available again, she did not hesitate and records show she snatched it up in February of 2007 for $8,100,000. Listing information reveals the property includes 7 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms, including dual baths in the master suite and, according to listing information, a separate guest suite.
According to property records and reports, the beguiling tile-roofed house was designed in the 1920s by little lauded California architect Ralph Flewelling who also designed the Beverly Hills Post Office building (now the Wallis Annenberg Cultural Center of Beverly Hills), the famous fountain at Wilshire and Santa Monica Boulevards and several buildings on the USC campus.
The Keaton casa wraps around an interior courtyard which acts as its central hub and orders the location and flow of the interior spaces. Although listing information is photographically slim, a quick perusal of the photographically boutiful article in Architectural Digest reveals that the after crossing the plaza-like motor court at the front of the property, entrance to the house is through large wooden doors that open into a double height entrance hall which does double duty as a library and sets the stylistic tone for the entire house. Although entering a house through a library is unorthodox, so is Miz Keaton and for what it's worth, we rather like this bit of unexpected decorative bizness.
The book shelf lined walls of the library/entrance are filled with books on art and architecture and share shelves with her collection of pots and knick knacks. But perhaps one of the more interesting (and Keaton-esque) elements of the room is located above the bookshelves, where the statement "The Eyes See What the Mind Knows" has been stenciled in large letters that wrap around the walls.
Beyond the library/entrance is a vast dining room with dark wood floors, a vaulted wood-beamed ceiling and a row of French doors that open to the central courtyard. To the right of the library/entrance lies the large living room with a wood burning fireplace, another vaulted wood-beamed ceiling and a few pieces of Miz Keaton's extensive collection of artworks by both dead and living artists whose work speak to the expansiveness, stark beauty and promise of the western edge of the United States. The living room leads to a den and media room as well as a stair hall that rises to the home's second floor private quarters.
The commodious kitchen and family room areas are located towards the back of the house with easy access to the courtyard and the back yard. While Miz Keaton and Mister Shadley cling tightly to their thematic day-core in these areas, the utility of the spaces is decidedly modern in that its been opened up to be one large and informal gathering space and features modern appliances and marble counter tops.
Miz Keaton's extreme efforts to maintain and squeeze out any bit of authenticity and integrity of the house are only matched by the exterior spaces which have been minimally landscaped with native plant life including a crowd of cactus at the front of the property that when lit up at night cast spooky shadows across the white washed walls. The generously proportioned courtyard is paved with bricks and other than the bubbling fountain surrounded by a bunch of gleefully campy statuettes of sleeping Mexicans wearing sombreros, has been left relatively empty. Seating areas have been relegated to the shady colonnade which is fine with Your Mama because we prefer to sip our afternoon cocktails in the shade anyways. The back yard includes a large swimming pool and spa, entertainment terraces and a detached garage accessible through the alleyway at the rear of the property.
Until we hear from Miz Keaton (or Kenny Kissintell), we can only assume that she's opted to sell this house, a near perfect pad for her and her children, because she's got new ants in her real estate pants and has set her eyeballs on some old house into which she can sink a fortune and breathe new life. Although Your Mama would love to see Miz Keaton settle down to a life lived well, we always look forward to hearing about her projects because, sadly, too few people in Los Angeles have the patience, sensitivity, pocketbook and moxie to restore iconic architectural treasures rather than rip down and replace with faux-Tuscon monolithic mega-mansion.
*Your Mama does not actually know whether this Mister Shadley person is nice or gay, so don't none of y'all go spreading that around as some sort of gospel truth unless you have 411 we don't have. We were simply making a funny.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Lease Jesse McCartney's Hollywood Hills House
OWNER: Jesse McCartneyLOCATION: La Granada Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $4,900 / month
SIZE: 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Open flr plan w/ lots of windows & French doors provide a natural bright environment. Maple hardwd flrs enrich this modern masterpiece. New baths. Each BR has own BA. Kitchen opens to living ara w/ premium ss appliances & a generous island for cooking & entertaining. SEXY backyrd w/ custom spa w/ waterfall & cyn views, fire pit & luxurious outdr lounge seating...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Former boy bander and soap opera actor Jesse McCartney has put his house in the Hollywood Hills up for lease with an asking price of $4,900 per month.
Your Mama would never have picked this property up if it weren't for Big Dave who pointed our beady little eyes in its direction. Since we knew next to nothing about this Jesse McCartney person, we took to the internets and learned his solo and third records went platinum, that he writes songs, has appeared in a fair number of films and television programs and has big dreams of being an actor, producer and director. All this from an ambitious and boyish looking 21 year old with a crooked smile, unnaturally white teeth and highlighted hair. Okay, it looks maybe like Mister McCartney has gotten rid of the Kenneth Brown style coiffure, but he was rocking that hair-don't for a looong time.
Although he was once linked to veneer-tastic entertainer Hilary Duff and then for a long time to some young blondie named Katie Cassidy, our quick cruise around the internets looking for 411 on young Mister McCartney also turned up a number of reports that he recently dated (or "dated") some bisexual singer named Aubrey O'Day who apparently prefers not to label herself a bisexual and who is apparently famous for being in some group Your Mama has never heard of called Danity Kane and, among other slightly more dignified endeavors, for baring her double-D chee-chees in Playboy. Mister McCartney now appears to be hooked up with young actress Hayden Panetierre and is even rumored to be responsible for her busting up with her previous, nearly old enough to be her daddy boyfriend, Milo Ventimiglia. Oh, what a tangled and tawdry web young Hollywood weaves...
Anyhoo, we digress. Property records indicate Mister McCartney picked up his Hollywood Hills hideout in May of 2007 for $1,076,000. Property records also reveal that Mister McCartney's crib measures 1,600 square feet, a size we find perfectly appropriate for a semi-successful young man barely old enough to imbibe booze legally.
As do many houses that line the narrow, twisting and sometimes dangerous to drive streets in the Hollywood Hills, Mister McCartney's house sits right up on the road, a situation that we're sure some of the children will find reprehensible and inexcusable while others with a penchant for living in the hills will understand is completely normal and nothing to sweat about. After all, it's not like there's ever bumper to bumper traffic on La Granada Drive.
Listen children, as blurry from booze as our vision may be, Your Mama has eyeballs just like every body else and we can well see that Mister McCartney's house lacks any real architectural interest or joie de vivre. But before y'all get your panties stuck up in your cracks about the rather insignificant facade, please try to keep in mind that not all "contemporary" houses can be Launters or Koenigs and not every homeowner has the inclination or financial wherewithal to turn an oyster into a pearl. Okay?
Therefore Your Mama actually appreciates that Mister McCartney and his his nice gay decorator painted the exterior a flat charcoal color which almost (but not completely) deadens the unnerving effect of the wonky window placement. We also acknowledge the decision to paint the stair treads red was a good one as it gives a needed jumpy pop of color and further helps to draw attention away from the window situation. However, as much as we like the charcoal paint and the red stairs, we absolutely loathe the tile work around the front door. There's a rule in fashion that applies to ladees who tend to over-jewel and over-accessorize: After getting dressed, look in the mirror and remove at least one item because too much decoration is simply too much decoration. We would have like to have seen the nice gay decorator apply the same rule and restraint with that front entrance.
Although the house appears to be a single story dwelling sitting atop a two car garage, it's actually a split level situation. The front entry is flanked by the home's two bedrooms each of which, according listing information, has it's own private pooper, a set up the Dr. Cooter (who is a bit pee shy) appreciates more than we could ever express.
Up about half a flight of stairs is the main living space comprised of a maple floored living, dining and kitchen area that opens to the back yard and has a row of clerestory windows to harness ambient light from the east facing front side of the house. The living room, painted a pretty but slightly too retro shade of blue for our personal taste, features a flat screen tee-vee mounted above the fireplace (natch) and a small but comfortable looking seating set up with a large linen covered, cozy looking sectional sofa and a pea green colored Eero Saarinen Womb Chair and Ottoman which are expensive, trés trendy with mid-century modern types, and quite comfortable.
In between the living room and the pint-sized but well equipped kitchen is a dining area with a round, marble topped Saarinen table surrounded by four wire Bertoia chairs with faboo orange cushions. (Your Mama loves almost anything orange). The kitchen has been fitted with white cabinetry, a back splash done in triangular tiles in various shades of avocado green, stainless steel appliances including double ovens (a real feat in a kitchen this small), and a large work island which is really what keeps this wee kitchen from being almost non-functional for more than brewing coffee or a fixing light snack.
The easy maintenance and drought tolerant backyard features gravel instead of grass (which we like), a built in fire pit (which we could care less about), an elevated spa (which the Dr. Cooter would love) and a couple of outdoor lounging beds which look very comfortable but are a little boo-teek hotel for our liking. We'd much rather one of the concrete pads on which the bed whoozy-goozies are sitting have a table and chairs for outdoor dining and the other two clean lined loungers like those that can be bought here with a small drink table and giant umbrella in between.
We can understand why Mister McCartney might not choose to sell his house in this turbulent real estate climate because, as nice as some of the renovations to this house may be, we sorta doubt he could get what he paid for the place. However, we're always surprised when a famous (or quasi famous) person like Mister McCartney chooses to lease his or her home. We can certainly understand wanting the income to off-set the mortgage, but one would think they'd prefer to keep their private quarters, well, private. Whatever the case, this house is up for short term grabs and we're sure it will make a comfortable Los Angeles landing pad from some young actor or actress in town to make a movie. Shoot, with a few tweaks here and there, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter, who do not want or require a large home to be comfortable, could be happy as clams up in Mister McCartney's crib, despite the window issue on the front facade.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
McDreamy's Dream House
SELLER: Patrick DempseyLOCATION: Chantilly Road, Bel Air, CA
PRICE: $3,595,000
SIZE: 3,841 square feet, 4 bedrooms 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Gated beautiful New England style Traditional. Redone with classic details and finishes. Large living room with fireplace, formal dining room, chef's kitchen opens to family room. Large master and closets. Lots of flat lawn, pool and tree house.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: After receiving a covert communique from Big Dave at Celebrity Address Aerial, Your Mama feels compelled to interrupt our Bridge lesson with Mama Cooter (that's right, Bridge lessons) to discuss the pretty property in Bel Air that Grey's Anatomy aphrodisiac Patrick Dempsey just hoisted on the market with an asking price of $3,595,000.
Although Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter will watch just about any crap-ass reality program that sees the light of the cathode ray tube, we can not bear those damn hospital dramas which means our gin sotted brain can't ever recall sitting through a single episode of Mister Dempsey's Grey's Anatomy program that people seem to like so much. What we do know about Mister Dempsey we know from reading the gossip glossies, which means we know he–along with that getting awfully big for her britches smokestack Kathy Heigl–has made quite a name for himself strutting around in a white doctor's smock with a scruffy face that all the ladees and the gays want to rub up on.
Records show the Mister Dempsey purchased his modestly dignified digs on Chantilly Road in July of 2006 for $3,100,000. Listing information indicates the gated and hedged New England-y nest measures 3,841 square feet and has 4 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms with two bedrooms "suites" on the ground floor, a master suite on the second and the remaining sleeping chamber located over the garage with its own outdoor stair and entrance. Listing information also shows there are formal living and dining rooms and a chef's kitchen that opens to the family room.
Someone worked hard to make the exterior of the white brick and clapboard house authentic to its intended style with the black shutters and dentil molding all up in the eaves. Your Mama really hopes the shutters actually open and close, otherwise it's like wearing eye glasses with non-prescription lenses, which is just stoopid.
Fortunately, the front of the property is properly hedged for privacy since the house sits close enough to the road that without that hedge anyone walking their damn dog could easily see what the Dempsey family was having for dessert. The narrow front yard has a charming brick walkway that leads from the brick driveway to the front door and we're loving that the bulk of the landscaping is green because we think all green gardens are so elegant and so perfect with these New England-y types of house. Planting a bunch of multi-colored petunias would just make it all so clunky and well, middle brow, you know? When Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter had a little shingled farmhouse by the beach on the east coast, we ripped out the overgrown and un-cared for English cottage garden and replaced it with an all green garden but for the daffodils that would sprout up willy-nilly each spring.
We're also swooning over the tree house that sits high up on the hillside and cantilevered over the back yard. What child would not love such a folly? We may be about a hundred years from being a child (and we don't even really like children that much), but if we lived in this house that little porch is where Your Mama would sit in a comfy chair in the early afternoons with a pitcher of gin and tonics re-reading all that poor dead David Foster Wallace's novels and stories and surveying our domain.
It seems a bit strange that Mister Dempsey would choose to sell so soon after buying, particularly in this economic climate. However, we wish him and his family well wherever they may land.
Now then, we gotta get back to the table so we can fly some more cards.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The Big Beverly Park Sell Off
Last week, Your Mama discussed some of the priciest properties currently available in some of the glitzier zip codes of Los Angeles. Although none of $50,000,000+ estates on that list are located in the disturbingly dee-luxe Beverly Park community, the gated enclave is none the less a vortex of hotel sized houses with steroidal price tags.
Stretching across 250 acres high above the city of Beverly Hills, Beverly Park is divided into two sections with three gated entrances. Beverly Park South has a single entrance off Summitridge Drive and consists of 16 homes while Beverly Park North has entrances off Summitridge Drive and Mulholland Drive. Beverly Park North was sectioned into 64 parcels by the developers, however several super rich residents purchased mulitple parcels bringing the number of homesites to 56. Several properties are currently in various stages of construction and, as best as we can tell, two parcels remain undeveloped, one of which is owned by Beverly Park resident Robert Bisno and is for sale with an asking price of $11,900,000.
Whether loved or loathed, everyone in the Los Angeles real estate game seems to have a strong opinion about Beverly Park's near mythic mega-mansion lined streets. Mumbling Mandy says, "I think that Beverly Park is great in that it keeps comps and prices at a good standpoint for the high end market. The reason that many stars live there is because its very exclusive, has a no fly zone, and everyone in the community is of the same caliber." Another well connected contact whom we affectionately call Nelly Knowsitall says, "Beverly Park has always been about foreign money and new money. Lots of it." Kenny Kissintell, one of Your Mama's gal-pals who owns a jealousy inducing address in Beverly Hills and is rich enough to live in Beverly Park if he wanted, recently hissed in our big ol' ear, "It's soooo gross up there you can't believe it. That place is for the likes of athletes, assholes and Dr. Phil types...bad taste in every direction."
One can imagine this super swank and heavily secured community might be very attractive to the rich, the famous and the so rich you don't even know their names. And it is. Current residents of Beverly Park include showbiz folks like Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Rod Stewart and Reba McEntire and entertainment tycoons like Sumner Redstone, Avi Arad and Haim Saban. Then there are the big bizness barons like tool tycoon Eric Smidt and pizza mogul Larry Flax who founded the California Pizza Kitchen. Toss in a few more famous people, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and a couple members of the Saudi royal family and you've got an old fashioned Beverly Park backyard barbecue...as if that ever happens.
Other than a burning desire to live in a domicile five or 10 times the size of the average American home and the smug satisfaction and strange comfort of knowing all of your neighbors are (theoretically) as filthy rich as you, security is a primary reason many people who possess piles of cash money and millions in art and jewelry gravitate to Beverly Park. Not only is the community gated and guarded 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but each tumescent Tuscan pile and every faux French chateau sits behind electronically controlled gates of their own and are equipped with state of the art security. Some residents even hire their own security personnel to roam the grounds, man the gate and protect their possessions. For many, that would be enough, plenty even, but not for the ridiculously rich residents of one of the U-nited States' more immoderate and pretentious private communities. Residents of Beverly Park also pay out of pocket for additional armed security to comb the unusually quiet and usually desolate streets where a human being (who is not the gardener) is rarely seen but through the dark tinted window of a luxury automobile.
A few of the swank Beverly Park spreads are usually on the open market at any given time, and occasionally one of them actually sells. The most recent transaction on record was in September of 2008 when super successful building contractor Ron Tutor forked over a staggering $32,200,000 for a yet to be completed monster-manse which according to listing information was designed to measure a whopping 27,000 square feet (approx.) with 9 bedrooms and an astounding 18 bathrooms.
All of the sudden, perhaps due to the economic tsunami and the near instantaneous evaporation of wealth that has occurred as a result of the stock market melt down or perhaps just by coincidence, an unusual and surprising number of Beverly Park properties have popped up on the market. We thought it might be interesting to give a quick run down and a cold hard look at the available properties just in case there's a billionaire or two reading our little online endeavor who is still in the market for a humongous house that costs more to maintain each and every month than most Americans make in a single year.
The least expensive property currently available is located in Beverly Park South, which some snooty types with a flair for the flashy will say is less desirable than the Beverly Park North section where all the truly tremendous houses are located. The approximately 4-acre estate belongs to country music queen Faith Hill and her country music king huzband Tim McGraw. The countrypolitan couple listed their approximately 10,500 square foot Mediterranean style pile in October of 2008 with an asking price of $14,800,000. They have not lowered the price. The 6 bedroom and 7.5 bathroom sprawler includes a double height entrance hall, large entertainment spaces and a master suite with dual bathrooms, one of which includes black tile accents and is open to a large gym and looks to Your Mama like a gay bathhouse circa 1982. Sorry Mister McGraw, but it does.
In February of 2007, the house was burglarized, a situation that surely disturbed the other residents of the supposedly secured community. According to reports at the time, the intruder entered the house through a broken window. Authorities did not elaborate on what items were stolen except to say that an unspecified amount of money was missing. What Your Mama wants to know is why wasn't the damn burglar alarm clanging and screaming the very moment the nervy thief breathed on the window pane?
Also located in Beverly Park South is the home of aged Italian siren Luciana Paluzzi and her media mogul/theme park executive huzband Michael Solomon who originally listed their 13,638 square foot house in July of 2008 for $19,995,000, a figure that quickly and inexplicably jumped up to $23,995,000. According to the always informative Babbling Babette, British pop star Robbie Williams entered into a contract to purchase the house in the late summer for close to the asking price but backed out at the last minute, lost his sizable deposit and decided to move back to England. Shortly after that aborted transaction, the asking price was lowered to its current number of $19,995,000.
As best as we can tell from listing information, the the main house includes 3 bedrooms including a master with dual bathrooms, natch, 3 additional bedrooms in the 2-story guest house and another separate room and bath for a live in staff person. The back yard offers panoramic views down the canyon towards Beverly Hills proper and includes a large pool and spa as well as a sunken, not quite north/south tennis court for the sporty types. For what it's worth and as far as were are concerned–and of course, our opinion is utterly meaningless–the Paluzzi pad could benefit greatly from a nice gay decorator doing over the dated day-core which will cost the new owner another couple million in couches, cabinetry and commodes.
Next on the list, and rare for Beverly Park, is a unabashedly contemporary crib owned by porn purveyor Norm Zada which just appeared on the open market this week with an asking price of $24,500,000.
Although Mister Zada earned a doctorate from UC Berkeley, worked as an adjunct professor of mathematics at institutions of higher learning like Stanford and Columbia, became a champion poker player and a money manager, he chose to make his big bucks and major mark on the world with a seriously smutty magazine called Perfect 10 in which women who have not had any cosmetic surgery are pictured baring their naughty bits and nether parts in all their extremely explicit glory.
According to listing information, the 6.79 acre estate includes an approximately 15,000 square foot main house plus an approximately 5,000 square foot guest house connected to the main house by a glass and steel bridge. Altogether the property includes 11 bedrooms and 18 bathrooms as well as dance and art studios, a gym, office, library and all the other rooms expected in a house the size of a small airport. Exterior amenities include parking for a bevy of Mister Zada's "natural" beauties, a paddle ball court with pavilion, vast stretches of flat lawn perfect for a rousing game of strip croquet and a swimming pool and spa not nearly as orgy-sized as one might expect from the home of a proud pornographer.
Just down the street and around the bend from Mister Zada's colossal contemporary is the home of controversial and much maligned property developer Robert Bisno and his wifey Jeanette who hoisted their 5+ acre estate onto the open market in late November of 2008 with an asking price of $29,500,000. Since then the asking price has been sliced and diced down to its current number of $25,900,000. Listing information shows the approximately 16,800 square foot behemoth includes 5 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms as well as a media room, piano room, an office, and a brick-lined wine cellar with its own living and dining areas.
The grounds include an exuberantly and meticulously manicured rose garden, walking paths throughout the property, a swimming pool, sunken tennis court and a backyard cabana with another living room, a bar and a terlit so that wet guests need not traipse through the main house dripping chlorinated water which could ruin the Aubussons.
Some real estate scuttlebutters say Mister Bisno has been forced to sell his big house out of financial distress, and indeed at one point not so long ago a Notice of Default had been filed and at least one auction date was staved off. However, Your Mama don't know nuthin' from nuthin' about Mister Bisno's bank accounts so we do not need to hear from his people about how he's still swimming in dough. Maybe he is, maybe he ain't. All we know for sure is that for whatever reasons, Mister Bisno wants to sell his damn house.
The next property belongs to Rockstar Energy Drink founder Russ Weiner who listed his 5+ acre Beverly Park real estate baby just this week with a breathtaking asking price of $28,000,000. While that number does not sound so large when you consider the asking price of many of the other properties currently for sale in Beverly Park, we ask y'all to consider that prop records reveal Mister Weiner only purchased his 8,448 square foot mansion in February of 2007 for $15,000,000. We're not sure if Mister Weiner made any significant (or even any insignificant) improvements to the 6 bedroom and 7 bathroom Spanish hacienda style house. But for that ginormous price increase, he better have gilded the place in gold because let's be honest, what kind of damn fool would pay nearly double what Mister Weiner paid just two years ago in an economy sinking faster than the Titanic? Seriously, who?
Mister Weiner owns a number of properties all over Los Angeles and has spent the better part of the last few years trying to unload them. He's got a four floor butt-buster of a house on Franklin Avenue that's been listed since the dawn of time. That house, now listed at $2,500,000 was first listed in January of 2007 for $3,995,000. Another property he wishes was not sitting in his real estate portfolio is a cockamamie house on Sierra Alta Way with 9 bedrooms and 13 bathrooms that's currently listed at $14,900,000 but was previously listed as insanely high as $22,000,000. Mister Weiner recently managed to lighten his real estate load when he sold the famed and somewhat infamous house known as The Fortress up on Sunset Plaza Drive in late 2008 for $8,000,000. This was after two long years on the market with an asking price that started at a decidedly optimistic $14,995,000.
Next on the list is a 27,000 square foot spec built maximalist manor house currently listed at a blistering $31,500,000 which is a lot of damn money even for the crazy rich. However, it's a far cry from the $49,000,000 the developer first listed the palatial 10 bedroom and 14 bathroom mansard roofed mega-mansion that our sidekick Joodee craves to tool around in while wearing a hoop skirt, powdered wig and silver slingback sandals pretending to be the Duchess of Beverly Park.
The three stories of unrestrained opulence include monumental entertainment spaces including an honest to God ballroom, a poshly paneled, circular library with a glass floor that looks down into a 2,500 bottle brick-lined wine cellar, a huge home theater, a marble spa in the basement that includes wet and dry massage rooms, a gigantic gym with mirrored walls, a hot tub and an indoor pool for all those chilly southern California winters. The grounds include a swimming pool, deep loggias for lazy afternoons lounging in the shade and the necessary permits for a tennis court. The necessary permits? Thirty one million bucks and you get permits for a tennis court? Pleeze. For that amount of money we don't only want a tennis court, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter want a deeded to the property and scantily clad tennis pro available at day and night at a moment's notice.
Although it does not appear on the MLS, an estate known as The Great 78 still appears on the listing agent's personal website with an asking price of $34,000,000. At one point Your Mama erroneously thought this real estate white elephant was owned by beer baron Adolf Coors, but as it turns out, it's actually owned by former body builder and nutritional supplement magnate Bill Phillips. The near three acre estate, which has been for sale for about as long as Your Mama has been alive, boasts a 17,826 square foot vaguely Moorish style mansion with a large motor court, lots of palm trees, 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms.
Several other Beverly Park properties were recently for available for purchase but did not sell and no longer appear to be listed on the open market. Those properties include Indonesian biznessman Han Moeljadi's 10 bedroom and 14 bathroom architectural extravaganza which had been listed at $29,000,000 since before we started our little online endeavor back in late 2006. The listing has disappeared from the MLS, but we do not find any transfer records for the property.
In August of 2007 super producer Mike Medavoy (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Rocky Terminator and etc.) and his wifey Irina put their modest by Beverly Park standards mansion on the market with an asking price of $23,500,000 which was later reduced to $21,500,000. According to property records, the vaguely Hampton-esque style house measures 10,769 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms and a large striped motor court. After some time languishing on the market, the Medavoy's de-listed their house and, presumably, decided to stay in Beverly Park a bit longer.
George Santo Pietro, otherwise known as Vanna White's ex-huzband and baby daddy, built an approximately 30,000 square foot beast next door too his own over-sized mansion which he listed in August of 2007 with a teeth chattering asking price of $50,000,000. In the Spring of 2008, Mister Santo Pietro rather wisely leased the 9 bedroom and 15 bathroom spread to the talented and wildly eccentric musician Prince. Mister Santo Pietro is rumored and reported to have persuaded Prince to fork over the princely sum of $200,000 per month, a number that very well could be true but sounds a bit exaggerated to Your Mama. As far as we know, Prince still struts his purple stuff up and down the long hallways of the house.
And then of course, there's Villa Firenze, the gigantic multi-parcel spread owned by Steven Udvar-Hazy that we keep hearing (but can not confirm) is quietly being shopped around a price so high no one will even whisper it in Your Mama's big ear. Among other money making undertakings, Mister Udvar-Hazy made a few billion smackers leasing jets and according to property records on file with the County of Los Angeles, he chose to spend many tens of millions building a massive monument to his wealth which measures in at a whopping 28,660 square feet with 8 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms. Keep in mind those figures do not include the 2,948 square foot guest house (which records show has 2 bedrooms and 3 terlits) or any of the other out buildings and pavilions that dot the 10+ acre estate.
It would not surprise Your Mama or the Dr. Cooter to learn that there are even more rich (or formerly rich) folks quietly shopping their Beverly Park money pits around to that very short list of folks who still have the finances and desire to live like robber barons, rock stars and royalty.
Stretching across 250 acres high above the city of Beverly Hills, Beverly Park is divided into two sections with three gated entrances. Beverly Park South has a single entrance off Summitridge Drive and consists of 16 homes while Beverly Park North has entrances off Summitridge Drive and Mulholland Drive. Beverly Park North was sectioned into 64 parcels by the developers, however several super rich residents purchased mulitple parcels bringing the number of homesites to 56. Several properties are currently in various stages of construction and, as best as we can tell, two parcels remain undeveloped, one of which is owned by Beverly Park resident Robert Bisno and is for sale with an asking price of $11,900,000.
Whether loved or loathed, everyone in the Los Angeles real estate game seems to have a strong opinion about Beverly Park's near mythic mega-mansion lined streets. Mumbling Mandy says, "I think that Beverly Park is great in that it keeps comps and prices at a good standpoint for the high end market. The reason that many stars live there is because its very exclusive, has a no fly zone, and everyone in the community is of the same caliber." Another well connected contact whom we affectionately call Nelly Knowsitall says, "Beverly Park has always been about foreign money and new money. Lots of it." Kenny Kissintell, one of Your Mama's gal-pals who owns a jealousy inducing address in Beverly Hills and is rich enough to live in Beverly Park if he wanted, recently hissed in our big ol' ear, "It's soooo gross up there you can't believe it. That place is for the likes of athletes, assholes and Dr. Phil types...bad taste in every direction."
One can imagine this super swank and heavily secured community might be very attractive to the rich, the famous and the so rich you don't even know their names. And it is. Current residents of Beverly Park include showbiz folks like Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Rod Stewart and Reba McEntire and entertainment tycoons like Sumner Redstone, Avi Arad and Haim Saban. Then there are the big bizness barons like tool tycoon Eric Smidt and pizza mogul Larry Flax who founded the California Pizza Kitchen. Toss in a few more famous people, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and a couple members of the Saudi royal family and you've got an old fashioned Beverly Park backyard barbecue...as if that ever happens.
Other than a burning desire to live in a domicile five or 10 times the size of the average American home and the smug satisfaction and strange comfort of knowing all of your neighbors are (theoretically) as filthy rich as you, security is a primary reason many people who possess piles of cash money and millions in art and jewelry gravitate to Beverly Park. Not only is the community gated and guarded 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but each tumescent Tuscan pile and every faux French chateau sits behind electronically controlled gates of their own and are equipped with state of the art security. Some residents even hire their own security personnel to roam the grounds, man the gate and protect their possessions. For many, that would be enough, plenty even, but not for the ridiculously rich residents of one of the U-nited States' more immoderate and pretentious private communities. Residents of Beverly Park also pay out of pocket for additional armed security to comb the unusually quiet and usually desolate streets where a human being (who is not the gardener) is rarely seen but through the dark tinted window of a luxury automobile.
A few of the swank Beverly Park spreads are usually on the open market at any given time, and occasionally one of them actually sells. The most recent transaction on record was in September of 2008 when super successful building contractor Ron Tutor forked over a staggering $32,200,000 for a yet to be completed monster-manse which according to listing information was designed to measure a whopping 27,000 square feet (approx.) with 9 bedrooms and an astounding 18 bathrooms.
All of the sudden, perhaps due to the economic tsunami and the near instantaneous evaporation of wealth that has occurred as a result of the stock market melt down or perhaps just by coincidence, an unusual and surprising number of Beverly Park properties have popped up on the market. We thought it might be interesting to give a quick run down and a cold hard look at the available properties just in case there's a billionaire or two reading our little online endeavor who is still in the market for a humongous house that costs more to maintain each and every month than most Americans make in a single year.
The least expensive property currently available is located in Beverly Park South, which some snooty types with a flair for the flashy will say is less desirable than the Beverly Park North section where all the truly tremendous houses are located. The approximately 4-acre estate belongs to country music queen Faith Hill and her country music king huzband Tim McGraw. The countrypolitan couple listed their approximately 10,500 square foot Mediterranean style pile in October of 2008 with an asking price of $14,800,000. They have not lowered the price. The 6 bedroom and 7.5 bathroom sprawler includes a double height entrance hall, large entertainment spaces and a master suite with dual bathrooms, one of which includes black tile accents and is open to a large gym and looks to Your Mama like a gay bathhouse circa 1982. Sorry Mister McGraw, but it does.In February of 2007, the house was burglarized, a situation that surely disturbed the other residents of the supposedly secured community. According to reports at the time, the intruder entered the house through a broken window. Authorities did not elaborate on what items were stolen except to say that an unspecified amount of money was missing. What Your Mama wants to know is why wasn't the damn burglar alarm clanging and screaming the very moment the nervy thief breathed on the window pane?
Also located in Beverly Park South is the home of aged Italian siren Luciana Paluzzi and her media mogul/theme park executive huzband Michael Solomon who originally listed their 13,638 square foot house in July of 2008 for $19,995,000, a figure that quickly and inexplicably jumped up to $23,995,000. According to the always informative Babbling Babette, British pop star Robbie Williams entered into a contract to purchase the house in the late summer for close to the asking price but backed out at the last minute, lost his sizable deposit and decided to move back to England. Shortly after that aborted transaction, the asking price was lowered to its current number of $19,995,000.As best as we can tell from listing information, the the main house includes 3 bedrooms including a master with dual bathrooms, natch, 3 additional bedrooms in the 2-story guest house and another separate room and bath for a live in staff person. The back yard offers panoramic views down the canyon towards Beverly Hills proper and includes a large pool and spa as well as a sunken, not quite north/south tennis court for the sporty types. For what it's worth and as far as were are concerned–and of course, our opinion is utterly meaningless–the Paluzzi pad could benefit greatly from a nice gay decorator doing over the dated day-core which will cost the new owner another couple million in couches, cabinetry and commodes.
Next on the list, and rare for Beverly Park, is a unabashedly contemporary crib owned by porn purveyor Norm Zada which just appeared on the open market this week with an asking price of $24,500,000.Although Mister Zada earned a doctorate from UC Berkeley, worked as an adjunct professor of mathematics at institutions of higher learning like Stanford and Columbia, became a champion poker player and a money manager, he chose to make his big bucks and major mark on the world with a seriously smutty magazine called Perfect 10 in which women who have not had any cosmetic surgery are pictured baring their naughty bits and nether parts in all their extremely explicit glory.
According to listing information, the 6.79 acre estate includes an approximately 15,000 square foot main house plus an approximately 5,000 square foot guest house connected to the main house by a glass and steel bridge. Altogether the property includes 11 bedrooms and 18 bathrooms as well as dance and art studios, a gym, office, library and all the other rooms expected in a house the size of a small airport. Exterior amenities include parking for a bevy of Mister Zada's "natural" beauties, a paddle ball court with pavilion, vast stretches of flat lawn perfect for a rousing game of strip croquet and a swimming pool and spa not nearly as orgy-sized as one might expect from the home of a proud pornographer.
Just down the street and around the bend from Mister Zada's colossal contemporary is the home of controversial and much maligned property developer Robert Bisno and his wifey Jeanette who hoisted their 5+ acre estate onto the open market in late November of 2008 with an asking price of $29,500,000. Since then the asking price has been sliced and diced down to its current number of $25,900,000. Listing information shows the approximately 16,800 square foot behemoth includes 5 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms as well as a media room, piano room, an office, and a brick-lined wine cellar with its own living and dining areas.The grounds include an exuberantly and meticulously manicured rose garden, walking paths throughout the property, a swimming pool, sunken tennis court and a backyard cabana with another living room, a bar and a terlit so that wet guests need not traipse through the main house dripping chlorinated water which could ruin the Aubussons.
Some real estate scuttlebutters say Mister Bisno has been forced to sell his big house out of financial distress, and indeed at one point not so long ago a Notice of Default had been filed and at least one auction date was staved off. However, Your Mama don't know nuthin' from nuthin' about Mister Bisno's bank accounts so we do not need to hear from his people about how he's still swimming in dough. Maybe he is, maybe he ain't. All we know for sure is that for whatever reasons, Mister Bisno wants to sell his damn house.
The next property belongs to Rockstar Energy Drink founder Russ Weiner who listed his 5+ acre Beverly Park real estate baby just this week with a breathtaking asking price of $28,000,000. While that number does not sound so large when you consider the asking price of many of the other properties currently for sale in Beverly Park, we ask y'all to consider that prop records reveal Mister Weiner only purchased his 8,448 square foot mansion in February of 2007 for $15,000,000. We're not sure if Mister Weiner made any significant (or even any insignificant) improvements to the 6 bedroom and 7 bathroom Spanish hacienda style house. But for that ginormous price increase, he better have gilded the place in gold because let's be honest, what kind of damn fool would pay nearly double what Mister Weiner paid just two years ago in an economy sinking faster than the Titanic? Seriously, who?Mister Weiner owns a number of properties all over Los Angeles and has spent the better part of the last few years trying to unload them. He's got a four floor butt-buster of a house on Franklin Avenue that's been listed since the dawn of time. That house, now listed at $2,500,000 was first listed in January of 2007 for $3,995,000. Another property he wishes was not sitting in his real estate portfolio is a cockamamie house on Sierra Alta Way with 9 bedrooms and 13 bathrooms that's currently listed at $14,900,000 but was previously listed as insanely high as $22,000,000. Mister Weiner recently managed to lighten his real estate load when he sold the famed and somewhat infamous house known as The Fortress up on Sunset Plaza Drive in late 2008 for $8,000,000. This was after two long years on the market with an asking price that started at a decidedly optimistic $14,995,000.
Next on the list is a 27,000 square foot spec built maximalist manor house currently listed at a blistering $31,500,000 which is a lot of damn money even for the crazy rich. However, it's a far cry from the $49,000,000 the developer first listed the palatial 10 bedroom and 14 bathroom mansard roofed mega-mansion that our sidekick Joodee craves to tool around in while wearing a hoop skirt, powdered wig and silver slingback sandals pretending to be the Duchess of Beverly Park.The three stories of unrestrained opulence include monumental entertainment spaces including an honest to God ballroom, a poshly paneled, circular library with a glass floor that looks down into a 2,500 bottle brick-lined wine cellar, a huge home theater, a marble spa in the basement that includes wet and dry massage rooms, a gigantic gym with mirrored walls, a hot tub and an indoor pool for all those chilly southern California winters. The grounds include a swimming pool, deep loggias for lazy afternoons lounging in the shade and the necessary permits for a tennis court. The necessary permits? Thirty one million bucks and you get permits for a tennis court? Pleeze. For that amount of money we don't only want a tennis court, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter want a deeded to the property and scantily clad tennis pro available at day and night at a moment's notice.
Although it does not appear on the MLS, an estate known as The Great 78 still appears on the listing agent's personal website with an asking price of $34,000,000. At one point Your Mama erroneously thought this real estate white elephant was owned by beer baron Adolf Coors, but as it turns out, it's actually owned by former body builder and nutritional supplement magnate Bill Phillips. The near three acre estate, which has been for sale for about as long as Your Mama has been alive, boasts a 17,826 square foot vaguely Moorish style mansion with a large motor court, lots of palm trees, 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms.Several other Beverly Park properties were recently for available for purchase but did not sell and no longer appear to be listed on the open market. Those properties include Indonesian biznessman Han Moeljadi's 10 bedroom and 14 bathroom architectural extravaganza which had been listed at $29,000,000 since before we started our little online endeavor back in late 2006. The listing has disappeared from the MLS, but we do not find any transfer records for the property.
In August of 2007 super producer Mike Medavoy (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Rocky Terminator and etc.) and his wifey Irina put their modest by Beverly Park standards mansion on the market with an asking price of $23,500,000 which was later reduced to $21,500,000. According to property records, the vaguely Hampton-esque style house measures 10,769 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms and a large striped motor court. After some time languishing on the market, the Medavoy's de-listed their house and, presumably, decided to stay in Beverly Park a bit longer.
George Santo Pietro, otherwise known as Vanna White's ex-huzband and baby daddy, built an approximately 30,000 square foot beast next door too his own over-sized mansion which he listed in August of 2007 with a teeth chattering asking price of $50,000,000. In the Spring of 2008, Mister Santo Pietro rather wisely leased the 9 bedroom and 15 bathroom spread to the talented and wildly eccentric musician Prince. Mister Santo Pietro is rumored and reported to have persuaded Prince to fork over the princely sum of $200,000 per month, a number that very well could be true but sounds a bit exaggerated to Your Mama. As far as we know, Prince still struts his purple stuff up and down the long hallways of the house.
And then of course, there's Villa Firenze, the gigantic multi-parcel spread owned by Steven Udvar-Hazy that we keep hearing (but can not confirm) is quietly being shopped around a price so high no one will even whisper it in Your Mama's big ear. Among other money making undertakings, Mister Udvar-Hazy made a few billion smackers leasing jets and according to property records on file with the County of Los Angeles, he chose to spend many tens of millions building a massive monument to his wealth which measures in at a whopping 28,660 square feet with 8 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms. Keep in mind those figures do not include the 2,948 square foot guest house (which records show has 2 bedrooms and 3 terlits) or any of the other out buildings and pavilions that dot the 10+ acre estate.
It would not surprise Your Mama or the Dr. Cooter to learn that there are even more rich (or formerly rich) folks quietly shopping their Beverly Park money pits around to that very short list of folks who still have the finances and desire to live like robber barons, rock stars and royalty.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Your Mama Hears...
...From two well placed real estate busy bodies that the architecturally significant home of recently deceased actor Ricardo Montalban will soon to hit the market with an asking price around $20,000,000.Although Señor Montalban was in the bizness of show for some seven decades, Your Mama's first memories of him are from the mid-1970s when his wonderfully trilled and accented English showed up on our colossal console tee-vee touting the elegance, affordability and soft Corinthian leather seats of the Chrysler Cordoba. As memorable as those commercial gems are and although he appeared in over 100 films and boob-toob programs, Señor Montalban will, of course, always be remembered for his signature role as the enigmatic and kinda creepy Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island.
Property records reveal Mexican born Señor Montalban picked up his Oriole Drive property way back in August of 1982 when he paid Hard Rock Cafe founder Peter Morton $630,000 for the 1.22 acre parcel. It's unclear to Your Mama whether or not a residence existed on the property at the time of Señor Montalban's purchase, but we do know that in the early 1990s the suave Señor commissioned legendary Mexican architect Ricardo Legorreta to design a sophisticated and contemporary crib that would provide the Montalban clan all the privacy and security they desired.
The resulting structure is 6,678 square feet of stacked volumes, solid planes and well placed voids that manage to provide privacy and take advantage of the views provided by the site's location high on a promontory at the very tippy top of an area above the Sunset Strip known as The Bird Streets. Property records show the house includes 5 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms and both of our sources whispered that although the house is magnificent, it's become a bit shabby and will require updating, upgrading and, natch, a nice gay decorator to do the architecture justice.
Two other large lavish estates occupy the same promontory as Señor Montalban's casa. Immediately next door is hedge fund honcho Robert Krail who purchased his 9,691 square foot Italian villa style pile in September of 2006 for $19,500,000 and has it back on the market with a blistering asking price of $28,000,0000 (lowered from $29,000,000) and next to Mister Krail is motivational speaker and super Scientologist Grant Cardone and his ack-turuss wifey Elena Lyons who shack up in Lionel Ritchie's old residence. Although not currently on the open market, the couple have unsuccessfully attempted to sell their 6,099 square foot architectural white elephant on and off ever since 2005 for prices ranging from $14,900,000 to $17,500,000.
Photos: (top) Pacific Coast News; (bottom) Legorreta & Legorreta
Your Mama Would Like to Thank...
...all the children who made February 2009 the most trafficked month to date with almost 625,000 page hits.
When we started the Real Estalker it was inconceivable that we would get even 625 page hits in a single month.
The support of and dedication to our little online endeavor has exceeded any plans, ideas or fantasies we ever had. So babies, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter sincerely thank you from the bottom of our cold, dark and snarky hearts.
When we started the Real Estalker it was inconceivable that we would get even 625 page hits in a single month.
The support of and dedication to our little online endeavor has exceeded any plans, ideas or fantasies we ever had. So babies, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter sincerely thank you from the bottom of our cold, dark and snarky hearts.
American Digs for French Designer Hedi Slimane
BUYER: Hedi Slimane
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $4,100,000 (reportedly)
SIZE: 4,562 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Dramatic 1 story mid century by architect Rex Lotery on almost 20,000 sq. ft. flat. Pristine condition. Hi ceilings & glass walls open to manicured gardens. Water features & large pool, tall bamboo. Light, bright, open & airy interior w/ clerestory glass, teak louvres, terrazzo floors, step-down living & family rm w/ bar, gourmet kitchen w/ brkfst...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple weeks ago, on February 18th to be exact, Your Mama was yakking with a gal we call Nelly Knowsitall who was generously serving up all kinds of celebrity real estate dirt. Sometime during our lengthy interchange, Ms. Knowsitall whispered in our big ear that after tooling around town for several weeks in a gorgeous green vintage Rolls Royce searching for new digs in Los Angeles, fabled French fashion designer Hedi Slimane and his man-pal finally settled on a Rex Lotery designed house in the Trousdale Estates area of Beverly Hills that was last listed at $4,650,000.
For all the children who do not follow the insular and rarefied world of dreadfully expensive men's habiliment, let Your Mama give y'all a crash course on our Mister Slimane. In the late 1990s, after resigning from a plum post at YSL over differences with notoriously autocratic Tom Ford (who at the time was designing the women's lines for YSL), Mister Slimane landed at the venerable Christian Dior label where he took over designing duds for Dior Homme. It was here, at Dior, that Mister Slimane rose to near mythic fashion world status for making fashion forward men around the world want to be as thin and malnourished looking as a female catwalkers so they could fit into one of Mister Slimane's signature skinny suits.
Mister Slimane's reputation as a mercurial maverick of the dernier cri became substantial enough to warrant a lengthy profile in The New Yorker. The article rather disturbingly revealed that the naturally thin Mister Slimane maintained his super slender boyish figure by eating baby food. As extreme (and probably untrue) as that sounds, it pales in comparison to the absurd but often repeated rumor that high-fashion guru/grandpa Karl Lagerfeld once subsisted on Pepsi Max alone so that he could lose enough weight to fit into one of Mister Slimane's skinny suits. Jeezis children, Your Mama just hopes that is true because, if it is, it's just too dee-voon and dee-lishus we can't stand it.
Anyhoo, Mister Slimane left Dior back in 2007 and soon decamped for the glitz and glam world of Los Angeles where word on the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine is that Mister Slimane and his man-friend scooped up a contemporary crib on an itty-bitty Beverly Hills cul-de-sac.
Interestingly enough, last year, one of the children was interested in purchasing this house last year and at the time she queried Your Mama about what we thought of the place, it was listed at $5,500,000. However, more recent listing information shows the last asking price was $4,650,000 and it is Your Mama's understanding that Mister Slimane managed to purchase the property for just $4,100,000. If that figure is accurate, and we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly it is, Mister Slimane (or his peeps) drove a hard bargain for the fashionista property purchaser.
Prop records show the recently rehabbed house was built in 1962, sits on a flat .46 acre lot and measures 4,562 square feet. One section of listing information we were able to obtain shows the house includes 5 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, while the listing description indicates there are 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms plus a staff room and bath. We trust Mister Slimane will let us know which figures are accurate.
The new Slimane domicle is approached via a gravel driveway that leads to a rail-less concrete bridge that stretches over a moat like water feature that is quite simply not safe for toddlers or anyone like Your Mama who downs a few cocktails before going to a cocktail party. To the right of the entry is a formal dining. The terrazzo floors featured in the entry and the dining room spill down three or four steps to the "formal" living room which opens to the pool terrace through a tall wall of windows. The living room shares a two-sided fireplace with the family room which also sports terrazzo floors and a wall of glass that opens to the pool deck. The family room also features built in bookshelves with space for a flat screen (or course) and a large built in bar where the boozers sit on low poofs and the bartender, preferably a shirtless one, stands at eye level a few steps down.
The island kitchen, with its lovely orange accents (we can't help it, orange is Your Mama's favorite color), looks well stocked with plenty of cabinet space, work space, and of course, a full complement of high end stainless steel appliances. An adjacent breakfast area provides easy access to the outdoors where Mister Slimane and his man-friend, should they ever choose, can grill and chill.
The property does not offer Mister Slimane any views of Los Angeles but the back yard is completely surrounded by tall hedges which will enable Mister Slimane to sunbathe his boyishly lean an lithe little body in the nood without being spotted by the nosy neighbors.
Presumably Mister Slimane continues to maintain a pied in Parisian real estate where Your Mama understands he occupies (or until recently, occupied) a lovely apartment in a bee-yoo-ti-ful brick faced building on the Quai Voltaire in Paris' 7th arrondissement which overlooks the Seine and the the Louvre and which happens to be the same street pencil thin fashion queen Karl Lagerfeld reportedly calls home.
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $4,100,000 (reportedly)
SIZE: 4,562 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Dramatic 1 story mid century by architect Rex Lotery on almost 20,000 sq. ft. flat. Pristine condition. Hi ceilings & glass walls open to manicured gardens. Water features & large pool, tall bamboo. Light, bright, open & airy interior w/ clerestory glass, teak louvres, terrazzo floors, step-down living & family rm w/ bar, gourmet kitchen w/ brkfst...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple weeks ago, on February 18th to be exact, Your Mama was yakking with a gal we call Nelly Knowsitall who was generously serving up all kinds of celebrity real estate dirt. Sometime during our lengthy interchange, Ms. Knowsitall whispered in our big ear that after tooling around town for several weeks in a gorgeous green vintage Rolls Royce searching for new digs in Los Angeles, fabled French fashion designer Hedi Slimane and his man-pal finally settled on a Rex Lotery designed house in the Trousdale Estates area of Beverly Hills that was last listed at $4,650,000.
For all the children who do not follow the insular and rarefied world of dreadfully expensive men's habiliment, let Your Mama give y'all a crash course on our Mister Slimane. In the late 1990s, after resigning from a plum post at YSL over differences with notoriously autocratic Tom Ford (who at the time was designing the women's lines for YSL), Mister Slimane landed at the venerable Christian Dior label where he took over designing duds for Dior Homme. It was here, at Dior, that Mister Slimane rose to near mythic fashion world status for making fashion forward men around the world want to be as thin and malnourished looking as a female catwalkers so they could fit into one of Mister Slimane's signature skinny suits.
Mister Slimane's reputation as a mercurial maverick of the dernier cri became substantial enough to warrant a lengthy profile in The New Yorker. The article rather disturbingly revealed that the naturally thin Mister Slimane maintained his super slender boyish figure by eating baby food. As extreme (and probably untrue) as that sounds, it pales in comparison to the absurd but often repeated rumor that high-fashion guru/grandpa Karl Lagerfeld once subsisted on Pepsi Max alone so that he could lose enough weight to fit into one of Mister Slimane's skinny suits. Jeezis children, Your Mama just hopes that is true because, if it is, it's just too dee-voon and dee-lishus we can't stand it.
Anyhoo, Mister Slimane left Dior back in 2007 and soon decamped for the glitz and glam world of Los Angeles where word on the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine is that Mister Slimane and his man-friend scooped up a contemporary crib on an itty-bitty Beverly Hills cul-de-sac.
Interestingly enough, last year, one of the children was interested in purchasing this house last year and at the time she queried Your Mama about what we thought of the place, it was listed at $5,500,000. However, more recent listing information shows the last asking price was $4,650,000 and it is Your Mama's understanding that Mister Slimane managed to purchase the property for just $4,100,000. If that figure is accurate, and we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly it is, Mister Slimane (or his peeps) drove a hard bargain for the fashionista property purchaser.
Prop records show the recently rehabbed house was built in 1962, sits on a flat .46 acre lot and measures 4,562 square feet. One section of listing information we were able to obtain shows the house includes 5 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, while the listing description indicates there are 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms plus a staff room and bath. We trust Mister Slimane will let us know which figures are accurate.
The new Slimane domicle is approached via a gravel driveway that leads to a rail-less concrete bridge that stretches over a moat like water feature that is quite simply not safe for toddlers or anyone like Your Mama who downs a few cocktails before going to a cocktail party. To the right of the entry is a formal dining. The terrazzo floors featured in the entry and the dining room spill down three or four steps to the "formal" living room which opens to the pool terrace through a tall wall of windows. The living room shares a two-sided fireplace with the family room which also sports terrazzo floors and a wall of glass that opens to the pool deck. The family room also features built in bookshelves with space for a flat screen (or course) and a large built in bar where the boozers sit on low poofs and the bartender, preferably a shirtless one, stands at eye level a few steps down.
The island kitchen, with its lovely orange accents (we can't help it, orange is Your Mama's favorite color), looks well stocked with plenty of cabinet space, work space, and of course, a full complement of high end stainless steel appliances. An adjacent breakfast area provides easy access to the outdoors where Mister Slimane and his man-friend, should they ever choose, can grill and chill.
The property does not offer Mister Slimane any views of Los Angeles but the back yard is completely surrounded by tall hedges which will enable Mister Slimane to sunbathe his boyishly lean an lithe little body in the nood without being spotted by the nosy neighbors.
Presumably Mister Slimane continues to maintain a pied in Parisian real estate where Your Mama understands he occupies (or until recently, occupied) a lovely apartment in a bee-yoo-ti-ful brick faced building on the Quai Voltaire in Paris' 7th arrondissement which overlooks the Seine and the the Louvre and which happens to be the same street pencil thin fashion queen Karl Lagerfeld reportedly calls home.
UPDATE: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
After many fits and starts and an uber-extensive search through every $15,000,000+ property in the Platinum Triangle that exhausted and tried the patience of real estate agents and real estate gossips alike, it's looking more and more like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner may finally bite the big real estate bullet.Last week, after a rather revealing memo from Betty Blathersalot and another even more enlightening chit-chat with well konnected Karl Katoutofthebag, Your Mama floated a rather vague discussion about Bennifer (or whatever they're gossip glossy moniker is) setting their notoriously fickle sights on a $20,000,000+ property that had been languishing on the market for an ice age. Since it now appears more specific information is leaking out about their real estate doings, Your Mama figures we don't need to keep our big trap shut on the details anymore.
According to Your Mama's been spilling sources, the preggers pair have been negotiating to buy super-producer Brian Grazer and wifey Gigi Levangie-Grazer's sprawling estate in The Riviera section of Pacific Palisades, CA which was last listed at a whopping $24,500,000.
The 3+ acre, flag lot property provides a gated and tree-lined paparazzi proof driveway, a sprawling 8,798 square foot single story Cliff May designed main house with 5 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms, 4 fireplaces, and what listing information called, "the best projection room in L.A."
In addition to the multi-winged main house, the self-contained compound also includes a separate building with an office, art studio, gym and two bathrooms as well as a guest house, hidden underneath the back yard lawn. Yes children, underneath. The underground space includes two suites for guests or staff, 3 bathrooms, a billiard room, craft room and long views towards the Pacific Ocean. Additional this and thats include a half-court basketball court, a bank of solar panels, an amoeba shaped swimming pool, massive flat lawn areas perfect for gin fueled croquet tournaments, several outdoor terraces for entertaining and, natch, a seriously state of the art security system that Your Mama imagines will zap any foolish intruder with a million volts of electricity before letting them step foot on the property.
Now then, let's all cross our fingers and toes this deal goes through because, quite frankly, we're a little tired about talking about these two.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Gossip Slinger Giuliana Rancic Lists Condo...Again
SELLER: Giuliana RancicLOCATION: Wilshire Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $749,000
SIZE: 1,371 square feet, 1 bedroom, 1.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...This glamorous unit is one floor down from the penthouse level & is located on the quiet side of the building. This condo features amazing panoramic 180 degree views, large balcony that is great for entertaining while enjoying the evening sunsets, bamboo flooring, open granite kitchen w/ stainless steel appliances, large master suite w/ seating area, walk in closet & deluxe baths.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While propped up in our sick bed yesterday, the Dr. Cooter hovering about with hot chicken soup, a stack of gossip glossies and a bucket of muscle relaxers, Your Mama received a covert communique from a bean spiller named Kay Suhdia who whispered in our big ear that television talking head Giuliana Rancic once again listed her Wilshire Corrider condo for sale with a new and much lower asking price of $749,000.
See puppies, information Your Mama was able to ferret out from our sources reveals that Mrs. Rancic unsuccessfully attempted to sell her 20th floor aerie at The Grand building back in the spring of 2008 when it was listed with an asking price of $899,000.
Property records show that Mrs. Rancic, a gal who dishes dirt for E! News and who could really benefit from eating a sandwich or two (and who should hire Your damn Mama), scooped up her 1,371 square foot condo back in January of 2003 for $465,000. This was before she met and married a man named Bill Rancic who some of the children will recall took the top honor on the first season of that hairrific Donald Trump's first season of The Apprentice. Mister Rancic has gone on to become a motivational speaker and property developer.
Listing information for Mrs. Rancic's high floor unit indicates it is located on the "quiet" side of the building and includes just 1 bedroom and 1.5 bathrooms, which means, of course, that Mrs. Rancic's dinner guests do not have to enter her boo-dwar in order to use the terlit.
According to Kay Suhdia, Mrs. Rancic hired nice gay decorator Thom Felicia to do up the day-core of her modest digs. All the Bravo babies will remember Mister Felicia was one of those high-maintenance homos on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy that ran around New York City like chickens with their heads cut off saving straight men who did not know how to cook, date, dress or decorate.
Mister Felicia chose to cover the rear wall of the open plan living and dining room area in a paisley patterned wallpaper which we feel competes visually with the striped wallpaper that has been wrapped around the soffit. The sitting area includes a large slate colored sofa opposite a flat screen tee-vee mounted above a long low credenza. Facing the cozy couch are two wing back chairs in striped fabrics and a couple of tufted poofs which all makes for a lovely conversation area. Two Wassily chairs by Marcel Breuer complete the scene. We'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly the Wassilys are not vintage and were picked up at Design Within Reach, which is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things, but there's just isn't any patina in the day-core so it would be highly surprising for the chairs to be originals. A wall of glass sliders at the end of the room open to a narrow, planted terrace where a petit table and a couple of chairs and stools look west over the urban carpet of Los Angeles below.
The dining area, which includes a very 1970s wet bar situation we wish Mister Felicia has enclosed behind some kind of cabinetry, has been did up with a shiny black dining room table surrounded by four chairs upholstered in periwinkle fabric and lit by a drum shaped chandelier we are happy to report has been hung at an appropriate height. A large triptych of a giant jellyfish hangs on the back wall and while we rather like the image, it seems a rather unusual choice and one we hope was driven by Mrs. Rancic's own artistic interests than that of Miss Felicia.
Mrs. Rancic's bedroom, which we assume she shares with Chicago-based Mister Rancic when he's in town, has been carpeted in chocolate brown and includes a big bed with hotel-like linens, a large chair and ottoman for reading, and a sliding glass door to the terrace. The master bath with it's beige walls, beige tile and brown and beige marble counter top is lackluster at best and includes a stall shower separate from one of those too small apartment bathtubs that look barely big enough to bath a child let alone an adult.
Although Your Mama knows nuthin' from nuthin' about Mister and Missus Rancic and their baby making plans, we'd put our money on the couple's next real estate purchase being a nice little house somewhere in a good zip code of Los Angeles (or Chicago) where they can raise a couple of children. We wish them all the best.
Your Mama Hears...
...That Puff Daddy (or Just Diddy or Diddle Daddle or whatever dumb name Sean Combs wants to be called today) is angling to buy the same Sunset Strip house he's been leasing the last few months.
Back in the early summer of 2008 Mister crazypants Combs set up his lavish camp in a glassy house in the hills for which a gal named Fancy Nancy swore on her vintage Chanel clutch that he was paying around thirty grand a month. A lot of money by most standards, but just pocket change for a self-made mogul who burns through money like a wildfire through Southern California underbrush. The 4 bedroom house offers Pee Papa (or whatever) 3 main bedrooms, an additional bedroom for the staff/entourage where he could probably put up his umbrella carrier and ass wiper in bunk beds, 5.5 bathrooms, a media room, a lovely view towards Century City, and two swimming pools. That's right children, two damn swimming pools.
The house on St. Ives Drive is currently on the market at $5,995,000 (after having been listed last year at $5,495,000 last year prior to P-Daddy signing a lease.
In addition to his (currently temporary) West Coast crib, Mister Diddy has a handful of properties including a mansion on Miami's Star Island where its been rumored and reported that–much to the chagrin and consternation of many–high drama hip-hoppers Rihanna and Chris Brown have been rekindling their love affair.
Back in the early summer of 2008 Mister crazypants Combs set up his lavish camp in a glassy house in the hills for which a gal named Fancy Nancy swore on her vintage Chanel clutch that he was paying around thirty grand a month. A lot of money by most standards, but just pocket change for a self-made mogul who burns through money like a wildfire through Southern California underbrush. The 4 bedroom house offers Pee Papa (or whatever) 3 main bedrooms, an additional bedroom for the staff/entourage where he could probably put up his umbrella carrier and ass wiper in bunk beds, 5.5 bathrooms, a media room, a lovely view towards Century City, and two swimming pools. That's right children, two damn swimming pools.
The house on St. Ives Drive is currently on the market at $5,995,000 (after having been listed last year at $5,495,000 last year prior to P-Daddy signing a lease.
In addition to his (currently temporary) West Coast crib, Mister Diddy has a handful of properties including a mansion on Miami's Star Island where its been rumored and reported that–much to the chagrin and consternation of many–high drama hip-hoppers Rihanna and Chris Brown have been rekindling their love affair.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Parminder Nagra Appears To Be Flipping Out in the Franklin Hills
SELLER: Parminder NagraLOCATION: Lyric Avenue, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,448,000 (currently off-market)
SIZE: 2,4,84 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...This is an example of sheer perfection featuring: Ample natural light, open flr plan, den/media room, dramatically over sized cstm wdws, 3 frplcs, 2 balc w/ stunning NW views, 2 patios, terraced bckyd, 25 ft ceilings, NEW systems, cstm kitchen, hdwd flrs, lndry rm, pre0-wired for sound, internet ready, dir access from grge, finished bonus space (not incld in st ft – 40 x 15).
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen puppies, Your Mama has been bitten by the flu bug so we're going to try to get out a discussion between our too frequent trips to the terlit. Please have a bit of patience with us while we try to mend up so that we can jump into the celebrity real estate saddle as soon as possible. In the meantime you're just going to have to make do with this admitedly anemic discussion.
Back in mid-February, Your Mama received a covert communique from Mister Dave over at Celebrity Address Aerial who pointed our nosy nose towards a house in the Franklin Hills area of Los Angeles owned by actress Parminder Nagra which had been recently listed at $1,448,000.
Although Ms. Nagra did all sorts of television and stage work early in her career, she shot to fame in the film Bend It Like Beckham back in 2002. Shortly after, she was hired by the producers of hospital drama E.R. where she remains one of the Emmy winning programs leading ladies. Of course, everyone who knows Your Mama knows that we don't care for hospital dramas so if truth be told, we wouldn't know Ms. Nagra if she walked right up to us wearing scrubs and carrying a script.
Property records show Ms. Nagra picked up this house on Lyric Avenue in September of 2007 when she forked over $870,000 for the 2,484 square foot house. At the time the house was a real fixer and, from the looks of things, Ms. Nagra spent a few dollars giving the place a make over.
Given that Ms. Nagra has owned a house in the Laurel Canyon area of Los Angeles since September of 2004, it's unclear to Your Mama if the British born boob-toober ever intended to live in this house in the Franklin Hills or if, like so many others in early and mid-2007, she bought it to get into the property flipping business.
Whatever the case, the house was listed in mid-July 2008 where it lingered without a buyer until the end of January of 2009 when it was taken off the market. The 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom quasi-contemporary was last listed at $1,484,000. Had she sold the house anywhere near the asking price, Ms. Nagra would have pocketed around half a million clams for her flip. But alas...
Now then, let's look beyond insipid and uninspired day-core, which we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly is staging, because otherwise we'd have to discuss the perplexing preponderance of beige and brown micro-suede furniture and those disturbing duck figurines tucked up under the sink in the master bathroom. Quite frankly, Your Mama just don't have the stomach for that today.
Listing information shows the living room has a fireplace, very high ceilings and a large, not quite right acrhed window the opens to a narrow terrace overlooking the street. The dining area and newly renovated kitchen with boring black granite counters also share the same lofty ceiling as the living room. A family room area sits half a flight up, has a second fireplace and a large opening where Rapunzel can throw down her hair to someone in the living room below.
The master bedroom boasts a high peaked ceiling and a wall of windows that open to a roof terrace with outdoor fireplace and lovely views over the tree tops. Your Mama genuinely hopes the sliding doors in the master bedroom are not the only point of exit from the house to the terrace because no one needs guests traipsing through the master bedroom and getting a good look at where all the magic happens, or as the unfortunate case may be for some couples, does not happen.
Listing information indicates that in addition to the terraces, the back yard is terraced to take full advantage of its up slope, new systems have been installed (which we think means new electric and plumbing) and the house is pre-wired for sound and internet. Somewhere in the house is a 600 square foot bonus room not included in the square footage on file with the County of Los Angeles that can be used for any number of uses including a home theater, a home gym, a home office or perhaps an illegal gambling parlor or s/m dungeon.
Presumably, this house will either be put back on the market at a reduced price of put out for lease until the market stabilizes and Ms. Nagra can recoup her investment. We shall see.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)