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...but only for a moment children, because for some reason that we can not explain, John Mayer makes Your Mama feel a little icky inside.
Anyhoo, there have been some recent rumors and reports that Grammy winning musician John Mayer spent $10,000,000 on a new house in Woodland Hills, CA. Anyone who knows Woodland Hills knows there just aren't $10,000,000 houses in Woodland Hills, so the reports seemed a bit fishy to Your Mama. As we often do when puzzled and perplexed, we checked with Lucy Spillerguts and Our Fairy Godmother in the San Fernando Valley and with their assistance and input have come up with a somewhat different story about Mister Mayer's real estate whereabouts.
According to our savvy sources, Mister Mayer–who already owns a house in Pacific Palisades and an apartment on Lafayette Street in New York City–did not purchase a new house in Woodland Hills, or any any other place for that matter. It is our understanding that Mister Mayer is spending big bucks to lease a big house behind the guarded gates of the high priced horsey community of Hidden Hills, CA. According to records on file with the county of Los Angeles, Mister Mayer's temporary digs measure more than 11,000 square feet of pure, unadulterated faux-Mediterranean mcmansion.
Although we do wish Mister Mayer a happy home in Hidden Hills, Your Mama can't help but think his on again/off again ladee-pal Jennifer Aniston must be all kinds of put off and pissed about this development. After spending bazillions on renovations to her sprawling (and we hear) spectacular new house on N. Hillcrest Road in Beverly Hills, we just can't conjure the image of the romantic comedy queen schlepping out to the suburban wilds of Hidden Hills in her Range Rover so that she can hang out with Mister Mayer in a the sort of high end Home Despot lavishness Saddam Hussein would have wanted had he lived in Hidden Hills. But then again, maybe Ms. Aniston is so smitten with Mister Mayer that she'd go all the way to the porn mecca of Chatsworth for a little bowm-chicka-bow-bow.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Kurt Rappaport Is Flipping Out in Beverly Hills
SELLER: Kurt RappaportLOCATION: N. Crescent Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $28,500,000
SIZE: 8 bedrooms, 9.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...The finest estate available, located on the most prime and desirable block in Beverly Hills just above the Beverly Hills Hotel. Designed by Waldo Fernandez and completely rebuilt using the highest quality materials & craftsmanship. Spectacular 2-story entry, dramatic paneled library/billiard room, incredible kitchen opens to family/great room, magnificent master ste. w/ his/hers, theater, wine cellar, gym, guest hse, huge motorcourt, spectacular gardens & infinity pool.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Kurt Rappaport may not be a celebrity of the film or television variety, but he is a very high profile Beverly Hills real estate agent who has made a fair sized fortune brokering big deals for more people in the bizness of show than we could possibly count. The children who haven't ruined their minds with the dope or booze will surely recall that it was Mister Rappaport who took in thirty-some million clams back in the Spring of 2007 when sold his freshly renovated house in Beverly Hills to that disturbing and robotic Tom Crooz fellow who proceeded to spend many more millions re-renovating.
Shortly after vacating his house on Calle Vista Drive so that the Crooz clan could take up residence, Mister Rappaport snatched up tire tycoon Lawrence Kraines crib on nearby N. Crescent Drive in Beverly Hills. Property records reveal, along with information received at the time of the purchase from both Lucy Spillerguts and Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills, that just last year, in March of 2008, Mister and Missus Rappaport paid $13,200,000 for the 12,981 square foot pile.
Now, just one year later, after noted decorator to the rich and famous Waldo Fernandez worked the place over, the AAA located property has been flipped back on the market with a stunning asking price of $28,500,000. You have to admit children, it takes some serious real estate balls to attempt to flip a Beverly Hills mansion in the current economic climate at more than twice what was paid for it a year ago...even if it was fully renovated with the finest materials and is located on one of the most sought after streets in all of Beverly Hills.
Listing information reveals the Rappaport residence measures in at approximately 15,000 square feet, which would indicate that the couple either added a bit here and there to the house or they've included the guest house square footage in that figure.
Listing information also indicates the double gated stone manor house contains 8 bedrooms and 9.5 bathrooms including a massive master suite with a vintage Verner Panton shell chandelier, a fireplace, a vacuum unfriendly, fuzzy white area rug that looks like it was woven with the hair bunnies of our sheding and seriously sour pussycat Sugar leaves, and, as expected, marble his and hers (or hers and hers, etc.) everything.
The huge home is entered through an impressive and, indeed, dramatic two story stair hall that sets the traditional meets modern (but not too modern) decorative tone for the entire house. The parquet floors have been picked (or perhaps white-washed, we're not sure), the walls glisten with a light reflecting white paint and vibrant colors pop off the furniture, rug and sextet of Andy Warhol prints (or posters, or whatever) hung high on the wall behind the gently curving staircase. The rear wall of the entry has several sets of French doors that open graciously and informally to the back yard. If we're being truthful, and we always are, Your Mama admits that but for the cliché orchids on the glass table, we're sort of swooning over this crisp and elegantly contemporary entrance hall.
Formal living and dining rooms are available for formal living and dining events, but it's the more informal areas on the ground floor that provide owners and guests with some lovely and casual rooms in which to actually live. The coffered, dentiled and architecturally serious ceiling in the library/billiard room has been de-stuffy-fied but stripping (or pickling, or whatever) the perfectly pleasing paneling that covers the walls from floor to ceiling, and adding contemporary black and white photograph over the fireplace. The effective juxtaposition of old-school and up to date is further enhanced by the simple and modern light fixtures and a couple of Art Deco era club chairs covered in mint velvet (or velour, or whatever). We are not normally fond of pool tables in private homes, but if one must be included, this one from the 1930s–which probably cost as much as a Mercedes–is certainly an acceptable option.
The rear rooms on the lower level include a white-walled step-down family room that is large enough to accommodate several seating areas has has a row of French doors that open to the garden. The family room flows into the newly installed kitchen which appears to have two of everything. For strapping on the feed bag, there is a long counter with a row of iron and wicker stools and a big breakfast area tucked into a bay window.
Additional amenities, according to listing information, that should appeal to whatever 8-figure buyers are still out there shopping for a new mansion include the large motor court, garage parking for several sedans and sports cars, a brick lined wine cellar, home theater, home gym, home office, and art studio and a dance studio, separate quarters for guests or live-in staff and an elevator because, let's face it, who wants to be navigating a long staircase after a long night of gin and tonics and reality tee-vee programs played on the big screen in the media room?
The newly added and simply shaped infinity edged swimming pool and spa sits in the rear corner of the yard and replaces the over-processed backyard extravaganza that Mister Kraines had installed. A very, very long stretch of newly installed sod is a blank canvas where the new owner's landscape architect can go hog wild.
As deeply desirable as N. Crescent Drive is to all those really rich people who know and care about the difference between Beverly Hills and the Beverly Hills Post Office, it remains to be seen if Mister Rappaport can get anywhere near his asking price. Unless he's got his eyeballs on something else, Your Mama suspects the successful property pusher is not in a hurry to sell and that he can, and will, hold out for a large number that rings his bell, wets his whistle and lines the Missus' Birkin bag with $1,000 bills.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
UPDATE: Sexy and The Spice Gurl
Okay children, if we have to talk about the real estate whereabouts of David Beckham and his faux-boobed twiglet wifey Victoria (whom we secretly adore), we're going back to calling them Sexy and The Spice Gurl, which is how we referred to them during their exhaustive search for an expensive home in Los Angeles back in 2007.
By now, everyone knows the couple finally settled on a $18,200,000 house in Beverly Hills with 6 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms and a swimming pool Your Mama felt was painfully small for a property of that magnitude.
Not even two years later, Sexy wants to dump the L.A. Galaxy soccer team and decamp con la famiglia to Italy so that he can kick balls with the AC Milan team where he has been on loan the last few months. Meh. Do we care? Not so much. Your Mama is far more interested in Sexy's lurid advertising duties than his soccer pitch statistics, so it's of little relevance what city he and The Spice Gurl choose to live.
Anyhoo, while in Milan Sexy needed a home away from home and, according to the people at People, Sexy recently moved into George Clooney's villa on Lake Como, about 25 miles north of Milan.
We need a damn nerve pill.
ANOTHER DAMN UPDATE, SAME DAY: Clooney's people say it ain't so.
By now, everyone knows the couple finally settled on a $18,200,000 house in Beverly Hills with 6 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms and a swimming pool Your Mama felt was painfully small for a property of that magnitude.
Not even two years later, Sexy wants to dump the L.A. Galaxy soccer team and decamp con la famiglia to Italy so that he can kick balls with the AC Milan team where he has been on loan the last few months. Meh. Do we care? Not so much. Your Mama is far more interested in Sexy's lurid advertising duties than his soccer pitch statistics, so it's of little relevance what city he and The Spice Gurl choose to live.
Anyhoo, while in Milan Sexy needed a home away from home and, according to the people at People, Sexy recently moved into George Clooney's villa on Lake Como, about 25 miles north of Milan.
We need a damn nerve pill.
ANOTHER DAMN UPDATE, SAME DAY: Clooney's people say it ain't so.
A Lindsay Davenport Double Whammy
Despite the extra junk in our trunk, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are both avid tennis players and fans. Wimbledon winner and Olympic champion Lindsay Davenport happens to be one of our favorites ladees on the circuit. Not only does she have some of the cleanest strokes on the court and a punishing forehand that makes us weep with envy, like Your Mama, shes a moody player with a two handed back hand.
The other day we received a covert communique from Vlad the Revealer and shortly thereafter a second one from Mister Dave at Celebrity Address Aerials who both whispered in Your Mama's big ear that Lindsay Davenport and her investment banker huzband Jon Leach listed their ocean front hideaway in Ventura, CA for sale with an asking price of $5,500,000.
After a quick poke around the internets, we discovered that the California couple have also put one of the two homes property records show they own in Laguna Beach, CA on the market with an asking price of $6,395,000.
We call that a celebrity real estate double whammy!
SELLERS: Lindsay Davenport and Jon Leach
LOCATION: Emerald Bay, Laguna Beach, CA
PRICE: $6,395,000
SIZE: 4,999 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Revel in chic California Riviera style and impressive ocean views from this very private Emerald Bay residence. An abundance of space - a luxury within Emerald Bay - is found here, amid 5 bedrooms, 5.5 baths and an open, flowing floor plan...Each room in this tastefully appointed home is finished with luxe materials, including artisan stone and tile, custom paint finishes, plank hardwood flooring, plantation shutters. Finished garaging for 3 cars plus golf cart and world-class Emerald Bay amenities.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Laguna Beach, once the sort of laid back coastal California town the Beach Boys crooned about, is now a place where old school hippie artists and surfers share the streets with rich white men and their over-injected and prodigiously implanted ladee-friends who look not so different from the too bejeweled and upsetting cat fighters on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Listen kids, we know we're making a broad generalization and not every woman in Laguna Beach has 6 pounds of silicone or saline shoved up in her boobies. But still, a lot of them do. If any of the children have been to Laguna Beach recently, as we have, y'all would know we are speaking the truth.
Anyhoo, property records reveal that Ms.Davenport picked up her house in the guard gated Emerald Bay community in May of 1997 for $2,040,000. According to listing information, the two story house measures a good sized 4,999 square feet with 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, all of which is sqeezed on to a tight .14 acre lot.
The fancy-pants Emerald Bay community straddles scenic Pacific Coast Highway just north downtown Laguna Beach. Some of the more impressive properties in Emerald Bay perch precariously on and cantilever well beyond the edge of sheer cliffs that drop down to the Pacific Ocean. Other more modest but still atrociously expensive Emerald Bay properties climb the hillside on the east side of the highway. At the northern end of the community is a spectacular private beach accessible only to people rich enough to live in Emerald Bay. Residents of the approximately 550 homes also have access to a community center, six tennis courts, swimming facilities, an outdoor basketball court, three beach volleyball courts and three parks two of which have children's play grounds.
In order to take advantage of the over the roof top ocean views, Miss Davenport's digs were designed as an "upside-down" house which means the main living spaces occupy the top floor. The front door sits at the top of a gently curving and slate tiled stair case and opens a proper entrance hall on the upper floor which includes a large formal living room with fireplace, a formal dining room, and a family room, all of which have ocean views and all of which surround an ocean view terrace.
While well stocked with a full complement of expensive appliances, the island kitchen looks exactly like a million other kitchens in Orange County. We are deeply disappointed to see that someone has placed (probably fake) greenery and a bunch of ceramic doo-dads atop the kitchen cabinets. If there's anything Your Mama loathes more than a damn pot rack, it's fake plants and knick-knacks tucked up between the cabinets and the ceiling. Not only do we think it looks ridiculous, these mistakenly placed items collect dust and cooking residue at an alarming rate.
One excellent feature the kitchen does offer, according to listing information, is a handy-dandy dumbwaiter for hauling groceries up from the lower floor, a convenience our sassy and scrupulously stair avoiding house gurl Sventlana would surely swoon over. To the right of the front door and tucked away beyond the small office and powder pooper is a generously sized and well located guest room with a sweet en-suite, fireplace and balcony. While we love that the architect has been kind enough to put the guest room as far from the master bedroom as can be, thing that concerns us here is that guests will get too comfortable and be encouraged to over-stay their welcome.
Downstairs, each of the four bedrooms has its own private pooper and one of the secondary bedrooms also opens to a small private patio where Your Mama and The Chicken would have sneaked cigarettes late at night during our rather rebellious teenage years. The oddly shaped master bedroom includes a fireplace for the romantic types, French doors that open to a private patio, a large walk in closet and a good-sized if oddly shaped bathroom that appears to have a party sized shower and a separate cubicle for the terlit and the bee-day.
Interestingly, records show that in December of 1999, Ms. Davenport forked over $1,305,000 for a second house just spitting distance from the first one and also in the exclusive and expensive Emerald Bay community. Records indicate she continues to own the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom house.
SELLERS: Lindsay Davenport and Jon Leach
LOCATION: Solimar Beach, Ventura, CA
PRICE: $5,500,00
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Beach front property located on a wide lot with 60ft of ocean frontage. Extensively remodeled, this Cape Cod style property has sweeping ocean and coastline views. 4 surf spots and access to sandy beach, this is an exclusive surfer's paradise. Outdoor patio with BBQ area and gas fireplace.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A few hours up the coast from Laguna Beach is the not exactly glittery or glitzy town of Ventura where Your Mama spent more weekends of our youth than we could ever count. See babies, our favorite, funny and foul mouthed Aunty Jennie used to live in Ventura. On our frequent visits she and our momma would often pile Your Mama, Sister Woman and cuzzins Lois and Toddaroohoo into a dearly loved automobile we called The Blue Vomit and dump us off at the low-brow Boo-ay-nuh Lanes where we were sternly told to spend wisely the five or six clams we were given while the two of them went for a few mid-day mai-tais at the Elephant Bar down the street. Those were some good times children, memories we will laugh about and treasure forever.
Anyhoo, let's get back on track before we digress too deeply into the nostalgic recesses of our gin soaked mind. Just north of Ventura proper along one of the more dramatic sections of Highway 101, where the mountains meet the ocean, sits a line of ocean front homes set on a sliver of land between the highway and the crashing Pacific Ocean. One of those homes currently belongs to tennis titan Lindsay Davenport and her huzband Jon Leach who recently listed the property for sale with an asking price of $5,500,000.
Property records show Ms. Davenport and Mister Leach picked up their ocean front getaway on Solimar Beach Drive in November of 2004 for $2,750,000. Records show the Cape-Cod-ish style house was built in 1970 and measures just 1,955 square feet. Listing information indicates the house contains three bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It appears the street is gated and the small community has a couple of land side tennis courts where Lindsay and Jon probably humiliated neighbors during "friendly" games of mixed doubles.
On the land side is a front facing two car garage that forms a small courtyard where a fire pit and built in bbq area have been installed. Having spent much of our life on the California coast, we know how the wind can whip off the water in a most unpleasant way sometimes, so this interior courtyard space was a smart idea for providing outdoor space out of the winds way.
Although we don't care for Ms. Davenport's day-core and we would gone a different direction with the kitchen dee-zine, we still find this a very appealing, if somewhat unusually located beach house. The open plan living/dining/kitchen area has a wood burning fireplace for all those foggy mornings and chilly evenings, luscious looking wood floors, a high pitched ceiling and a wall of sliding doors that open up the the rear deck that is, thankfully, tucked up behind a revetment and stretches the width of the rear of the house.
At least one of the bedrooms, presumably the master bedroom, opens to the rear ocean facing deck and also has lovely high ceilings, which were surely an important and welcomed feature for the six foot two (and a half) Ms. Davenport.
Ms. Davenport was scheduled to play in the most recent Australian Open, but backed out after finding out she is preggers with her second child. Mavel-tov to the family. We suspect this might have something to do with the selling of these properties, but since we don't know nuthin' from nuthin' don't nobody quote us on that. Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter wish the couple the best of luck unloading their homes in a slumping economy and we hope to see Ms. Davenport working her stuff on the court soon.
The other day we received a covert communique from Vlad the Revealer and shortly thereafter a second one from Mister Dave at Celebrity Address Aerials who both whispered in Your Mama's big ear that Lindsay Davenport and her investment banker huzband Jon Leach listed their ocean front hideaway in Ventura, CA for sale with an asking price of $5,500,000.
After a quick poke around the internets, we discovered that the California couple have also put one of the two homes property records show they own in Laguna Beach, CA on the market with an asking price of $6,395,000.
We call that a celebrity real estate double whammy!
SELLERS: Lindsay Davenport and Jon LeachLOCATION: Emerald Bay, Laguna Beach, CA
PRICE: $6,395,000
SIZE: 4,999 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Revel in chic California Riviera style and impressive ocean views from this very private Emerald Bay residence. An abundance of space - a luxury within Emerald Bay - is found here, amid 5 bedrooms, 5.5 baths and an open, flowing floor plan...Each room in this tastefully appointed home is finished with luxe materials, including artisan stone and tile, custom paint finishes, plank hardwood flooring, plantation shutters. Finished garaging for 3 cars plus golf cart and world-class Emerald Bay amenities.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Laguna Beach, once the sort of laid back coastal California town the Beach Boys crooned about, is now a place where old school hippie artists and surfers share the streets with rich white men and their over-injected and prodigiously implanted ladee-friends who look not so different from the too bejeweled and upsetting cat fighters on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Listen kids, we know we're making a broad generalization and not every woman in Laguna Beach has 6 pounds of silicone or saline shoved up in her boobies. But still, a lot of them do. If any of the children have been to Laguna Beach recently, as we have, y'all would know we are speaking the truth.
Anyhoo, property records reveal that Ms.Davenport picked up her house in the guard gated Emerald Bay community in May of 1997 for $2,040,000. According to listing information, the two story house measures a good sized 4,999 square feet with 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, all of which is sqeezed on to a tight .14 acre lot.
The fancy-pants Emerald Bay community straddles scenic Pacific Coast Highway just north downtown Laguna Beach. Some of the more impressive properties in Emerald Bay perch precariously on and cantilever well beyond the edge of sheer cliffs that drop down to the Pacific Ocean. Other more modest but still atrociously expensive Emerald Bay properties climb the hillside on the east side of the highway. At the northern end of the community is a spectacular private beach accessible only to people rich enough to live in Emerald Bay. Residents of the approximately 550 homes also have access to a community center, six tennis courts, swimming facilities, an outdoor basketball court, three beach volleyball courts and three parks two of which have children's play grounds.
In order to take advantage of the over the roof top ocean views, Miss Davenport's digs were designed as an "upside-down" house which means the main living spaces occupy the top floor. The front door sits at the top of a gently curving and slate tiled stair case and opens a proper entrance hall on the upper floor which includes a large formal living room with fireplace, a formal dining room, and a family room, all of which have ocean views and all of which surround an ocean view terrace.
While well stocked with a full complement of expensive appliances, the island kitchen looks exactly like a million other kitchens in Orange County. We are deeply disappointed to see that someone has placed (probably fake) greenery and a bunch of ceramic doo-dads atop the kitchen cabinets. If there's anything Your Mama loathes more than a damn pot rack, it's fake plants and knick-knacks tucked up between the cabinets and the ceiling. Not only do we think it looks ridiculous, these mistakenly placed items collect dust and cooking residue at an alarming rate.
One excellent feature the kitchen does offer, according to listing information, is a handy-dandy dumbwaiter for hauling groceries up from the lower floor, a convenience our sassy and scrupulously stair avoiding house gurl Sventlana would surely swoon over. To the right of the front door and tucked away beyond the small office and powder pooper is a generously sized and well located guest room with a sweet en-suite, fireplace and balcony. While we love that the architect has been kind enough to put the guest room as far from the master bedroom as can be, thing that concerns us here is that guests will get too comfortable and be encouraged to over-stay their welcome.
Downstairs, each of the four bedrooms has its own private pooper and one of the secondary bedrooms also opens to a small private patio where Your Mama and The Chicken would have sneaked cigarettes late at night during our rather rebellious teenage years. The oddly shaped master bedroom includes a fireplace for the romantic types, French doors that open to a private patio, a large walk in closet and a good-sized if oddly shaped bathroom that appears to have a party sized shower and a separate cubicle for the terlit and the bee-day.
Interestingly, records show that in December of 1999, Ms. Davenport forked over $1,305,000 for a second house just spitting distance from the first one and also in the exclusive and expensive Emerald Bay community. Records indicate she continues to own the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom house.
SELLERS: Lindsay Davenport and Jon LeachLOCATION: Solimar Beach, Ventura, CA
PRICE: $5,500,00
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Beach front property located on a wide lot with 60ft of ocean frontage. Extensively remodeled, this Cape Cod style property has sweeping ocean and coastline views. 4 surf spots and access to sandy beach, this is an exclusive surfer's paradise. Outdoor patio with BBQ area and gas fireplace.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A few hours up the coast from Laguna Beach is the not exactly glittery or glitzy town of Ventura where Your Mama spent more weekends of our youth than we could ever count. See babies, our favorite, funny and foul mouthed Aunty Jennie used to live in Ventura. On our frequent visits she and our momma would often pile Your Mama, Sister Woman and cuzzins Lois and Toddaroohoo into a dearly loved automobile we called The Blue Vomit and dump us off at the low-brow Boo-ay-nuh Lanes where we were sternly told to spend wisely the five or six clams we were given while the two of them went for a few mid-day mai-tais at the Elephant Bar down the street. Those were some good times children, memories we will laugh about and treasure forever.
Anyhoo, let's get back on track before we digress too deeply into the nostalgic recesses of our gin soaked mind. Just north of Ventura proper along one of the more dramatic sections of Highway 101, where the mountains meet the ocean, sits a line of ocean front homes set on a sliver of land between the highway and the crashing Pacific Ocean. One of those homes currently belongs to tennis titan Lindsay Davenport and her huzband Jon Leach who recently listed the property for sale with an asking price of $5,500,000.
Property records show Ms. Davenport and Mister Leach picked up their ocean front getaway on Solimar Beach Drive in November of 2004 for $2,750,000. Records show the Cape-Cod-ish style house was built in 1970 and measures just 1,955 square feet. Listing information indicates the house contains three bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It appears the street is gated and the small community has a couple of land side tennis courts where Lindsay and Jon probably humiliated neighbors during "friendly" games of mixed doubles.
On the land side is a front facing two car garage that forms a small courtyard where a fire pit and built in bbq area have been installed. Having spent much of our life on the California coast, we know how the wind can whip off the water in a most unpleasant way sometimes, so this interior courtyard space was a smart idea for providing outdoor space out of the winds way.
Although we don't care for Ms. Davenport's day-core and we would gone a different direction with the kitchen dee-zine, we still find this a very appealing, if somewhat unusually located beach house. The open plan living/dining/kitchen area has a wood burning fireplace for all those foggy mornings and chilly evenings, luscious looking wood floors, a high pitched ceiling and a wall of sliding doors that open up the the rear deck that is, thankfully, tucked up behind a revetment and stretches the width of the rear of the house.
At least one of the bedrooms, presumably the master bedroom, opens to the rear ocean facing deck and also has lovely high ceilings, which were surely an important and welcomed feature for the six foot two (and a half) Ms. Davenport.
Ms. Davenport was scheduled to play in the most recent Australian Open, but backed out after finding out she is preggers with her second child. Mavel-tov to the family. We suspect this might have something to do with the selling of these properties, but since we don't know nuthin' from nuthin' don't nobody quote us on that. Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter wish the couple the best of luck unloading their homes in a slumping economy and we hope to see Ms. Davenport working her stuff on the court soon.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Your Mama Hears...
...From two separate singing canaries that the legendary Castillo del Lago high in the Hollywood Hills is soon to be listed with an electrifying asking price between fifteen and eighteen million clams.(Gasps heard 'round the world.)
The 9-story fortress-like mansion on Mulholland Highway, was designed and built by John DeLario in 1926 and sits in the shadow of the Hollywood sign overlooking the higgledy-piggledy shores of Lake Hollywood. Originally built for oil explorer Patrick Longdon (some resources say his name was Patrick Logan), the house was once home to notorious gangster Bugsy Siegel who allegedly used it as a speakeasy and gambling parlor.
In the 1950s, the house fell into a sad state of disrepair, was vandalized and, at one point, caught fire. The property eventually came under ownership by some guy with the rather impressive name of Baron Patrick de Selys-Longchamps who, according a knowledgeable source we chit-chatted with, lived on the property for a few years in un-restored condition. The Baron sold to a couple named Willfong who did over and did up the house and, we're told, had it published in Architectural Digest. Records show that in 1990, the Willfongs sold to Richard Grossman and Lisa Lyons who happen to be the folks currently selling the old Cecil B. deMille estate in Laughlin Park. The Grossman/Lyons in turn sold it to Her Madgesty Madonna Ciccone in 1993.
The Kabbalah Kween quickly mortified and alienated some of her neighbors when she painted parts of the the exterior with red and yellow horizontal stripes. By some accounts, further renovations by the do as she pleases entertainer stripped the house of even more of architectural integrity. In a sensationally scathing November 2004 article in the Times Online, L.A. based architecture aficionado, noted real estate broker of iconic properties and nearby neighbor Crosby Doe was quoted as saying, "She wrecked it." Mister Doe went on to state, "They took the historic tiles off the roof, threw them in a dumpster and put on these Taco Bell tiles. It was one desecration after another." Oh, ouch!
In 1996, not long after one of her security staff shot a stupid and deranged man attempting to scale the walls of the property, Madge moved on and the house was purchased by prolific and award winning commercial director Joe Pytka who has owned it ever since. Records show he forked over $5,300,000 for the property.
Property records show the house measures 7,783 square feet with 9 bedrooms and 6 terlits. However, her trash talking brother Christopher writes in his salacious tell-all book Life With My Sister Madonna that, "The twenty-thousand-square-foot castle has five bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, stands of four acres of land, and–with its 160 foot lookout tower–feels secure." We'll let y'all decide who's figures are accurate.
Keep in mind puppies, that for now, news of Castillo del Lago coming up for sale is just rumor and gossip. Got that? Rumor and gossip.
photo: Pacific Coast News
Adam Levine Leasing Out Los Feliz Bachelor Pad
OWNER: Adam LevineLOCATION: Green Oak Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $10,000 per month
SIZE: 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Gated private Hollywood Hills celebrity estate on huge promontory. Half acre lot w/ panoramic views of both city & canyons...Expansive property w/ 3 bd main house & a separate guest unit. Wood floors, fireplaces, theater w/ multi-media sound system, security cameras, walls of glass that open to outdoor fireplace & the hippest private pool & spa ever!
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A quick dash through the rental listings on the MLS reveals that Moby is not the only musician looking to lease out his Hollywood Hills digs. Turns out that Adam Levine, the nicely tattooed and ladee-loving lead singer of Maroon 5, is looking to lease his Los Feliz area house at $10,000 per month.
Mister Levine, a slight but well built man who positively oozes a certain kind of smarmy sex appeal, has been linked to any number of high profile woman including Natalie Portman, Maria Sharapova, Paris Hilton (who seems to get around to a frighteningly large number of men and even a few women), Jessica Simpson, Natasha Bedingfield and a pre-Justin Timberlake Jessica Biel. For the last couple of years, dirty minded Mister Levine has dated a cocktail waitress named Becky about whom he revealed to Howard Stern (and the world) he screwed the first time they met. Some reports say the lovebirds busted up last year, but honestly children, we do not know or much care.
Anyhoo, property records show Mister Levine scooped up his, long, low and louche hillside home above Bronson Canyon in November of 2005. The prop records for Mister Levine's sexed-up bachelor pad that we accessed are a bit whackadoodle and vague, but we do know the property was listed for $3,195,000 at the time of purchase and the always informative Penny Pricegiver swears on her Birkin bag he paid the full asking price. We suspect he paid somewhere just below that number, but don't anybody go quoting Your Mama on that like we're speaking the gospel. Records also show the house measures a modest 2,045 square feet, a number that more than likely does not include the detached guest unit tacked on to the back end of the garage.
Listing information indicates the property includes 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. Presumably one of those bedrooms and one of those poopers comprise the guest unit. The open plan main house includes dark wood floors and good sized expanses of floor to ceiling glazing that slide open to merge the interior spaces with the terrace that runs the length of the rear of the house and overlooks the swimming pool and across the canyon to the city lights in the distance.
A large, square cow skin rug anchors the living room seating area where two clean lined white (or very light beige) sofas flank a fireplace over which a flat screen boob-toob has been hung. While we generally prefer to see a nice piece of art hanging above a fireplace, we also understand that above the fireplace is often the least problematic, if not the most discreet location in terms of space planning, particularly in modestly sized homes that do not have separate living and family rooms. However, listing information indicates Mister Levine's crib includes a "theater w/ multi-media sound system," so this tee-vee seems somewhat superfluous.
The kitchen, blessedly bare of overhead storage, is fitted with caramel colored cabinetry, gleaming white counter tops, and a long work island with a row of stools with white cushioned seats. The dining area features a mid-century modern table and chairs lit by a large glass orb chandelier that effectively mimics the round shape of the dining room table and the over-sized circular mirror that is, somewhat strangely, propped up on the kitchen counter. Could Mister Levine be so vain that he needs to check his hair while flipping on the coffee pot?
Mister Levine's bedroom has been sexed up with dark brown walls which may (or may not) be leather, a chocolate brown ceiling, black floor to ceiling cashmere curtains and, naturally, a king sized bed with brown leather head and foot boards. Opposite the bed is a second wood burning fireplace above which a large projection screen drops at the touch of a button for big screeen viewing of high quality porn and the delicious freak show that is The Real Housewives of New York City.
The rear terrace has been laid with very large, square slate tiles and includes an outdoor fireplace where a rustic wood bench and table make a nice tableau but do not look particularly comfortable for chilling out fireside on a cool California evening.
As far as Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are concerned, the best asset of Mister Levine's property is the utterly dee-voon oval swimming pool and spa set up located just down the hillside from the house. A tall and graciously curving line of privet hedges surround the pool deck and ensure Mister Levine, his ladee friends and Your Mama can sunbathe in their birthday suits without fear of being seen by nosy neighbors. Mister Levine, or his nice gay decorator, have selected simply shaped (but no doubt very expensive) patio furniture with thick white cushions shaded by square shaped white market umbrellas.
It's puzzling to Your Mama that Mister Levine would want to lease out his lovely house in Los Feliz for ten grand a month, or any amount of money for that matter. Given Maroon 5's continued success, it's hard to imagine that he needs the money. Listing information indicates the house is only available to lease through October 1st, so perhaps Mister Levine is out on tour with Maroon 5 and doesn't need a home base for the next 6 months or so? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
If the gossip glossy reading children put on their thinking caps, they might recall that during the summer of 2008 Mister Levine's crib was splashed in vivid color across a multi-page article in In Touch magazine in which he claims he does not go out much and reveals that he's hosted some "wild parties" at his house with guest lists that include people like Prince, who probably tried to proselytize to the other party goers.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Moby Leases Out Hollywood Hills House
OWNER: Moby and Stacey BendetLOCATION: Cordell Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $15,000 per month
SIZE: 2,298 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...This trophy property was updated and remodeled with style and sophistication. Formal living and dining room with 12ft paneled ceilings, parquet flooring, grand French windows, gourmet eat-in kitchen, big city views, street-to-street lot with gated motor court off Cordell Mews, geometric0-shaped pool with a classic John Woolf pergola adjacent. Two-car garage and a guest house.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Once upon a time, there was a nice gay architect in Los Angeles named John Elgin Woolf who circulated among and designed homes for Hollywood hotshots. Mister Woolf's client list reads like a who's who of Hollywood in the 1940s, 50s and 60s and includes (but is not limited to) Errol Flynn, John Wayne, George Cukor, Ira Gershwin, David O. Selznick, the dee-voon Agnes Moorehead, Oscar winning actor Ray Milland, the recently deceased Ricardo Montalban, legendary interior decorator Elsie de Wolfe, Bob Hope–who got a giant house in Toluca Lake, and snickering Tinseltown comedy queen Paul Lynde.
During his long career, Miss Lynde swished and sashayed through many boob-toob gigs, most notably as the delightfully camp prankster Uncle Arthur on Bewitched. The sharply sarcastic Miss Lynde also spent years in the center square of the Hollywood Squares game show where he shamelessly dropped double entendres about sordid and often taboo subjects and made pithy and barely veiled allusions to his own homosexuality. He was a television treasure as far as Your Mama is concerned.
Some time in the late sixties or early seventies (we're not sure exactly when), MissLynde moved to a house on Cordell Drive just above the Sunset Strip that property records indicate was built in 1926 and later re-worked by the late, great John Elgin Woolf. The house was probably did up and done over with the assistance of Mister Woolf's much younger lover Robert Woolf who became a noted aesthete and decorator to the stars. Together, the couple created what has become known as the Hollywood Regency style of architecture and day-core which, in more recent years, has been revived by big-shit decorator and hair-do trailblazer Kelly Wearstler.
The story of John Woolf and his much younger man-friend Robert is nothing if not an interesting story. See, the elder Woolf ended up legally adopting his young lover Robert. Yes, children, he did. As it turns out, the March 2009 issue of Vanity Fair profiles the odd couple who together went on to bring two more gentlemen into their unconventional family, a situation which Your Mama is quite certain completely freaks out all those "family values" types who are making a colossal kerfuffle about the gays getting married because they fear giving equal rights to homosexuals will turn into a slippery slope where people may soon want to marry their cat or their bathtub. Pleeze.
Anyhoo, as interesting as the Woolf quartet may be and as vitally important as civil rights are, let's move on to the matter at hand which is a hillside house in the Hollywood Hills currently owned by pixieish music man Moby and gal pal Stacey Bendet, the New York City social scenester who–as some of you fashionistas may know–is the designer for the alice + olivia clothing line.
According to property records and reports from the time, the east coast based buddies together bought a west coast crib on Cordell Drive in February of 2008 for $2,950,000. The plan–at least according to Ruth Ryon who used to pen the Hot Properties column at the L.A. Times–was for Miss Bendet to use the house a s style salon for her long list of celebrity clients and for Moby to convert the garage/guest house into a recording studio. However, shortly after buying the house, Miss Bendet up and married Hollywood scion Eric Eisner, son of Michael, which may (or may not) explain why she and Moby have chosen not to shack up together in the Hollywood Hills and have put their Woolf designed digs up for lease at $15,000 per month.
Listing information and property records show the three story house measures 2,298 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms. The house, entered on the top floor, includes a lovely living room with a small wood burning fireplace, white walls, dark stained parquet floors and a trio of arched windows, two of which open to a small balcony overlooking the swimming pool below and the glittery lights of Los Angeles beyond.
The adjacent dining room also has dark stained parquet floors and also has a trio of arched windows, two of which also open to a small balcony with amazing views. The dining room walls, however, have been painted (or perhaps wallpapered) in vertical black and white stripes. This treatment looks very capital "g" Glam, particularly when paired with a glittery crystal chandelier that looks like icicles and a ceiling paneled with what appears to be mirrors. We're not sure a space this visually complex would be a room we'd want to eat in, but we are 100% positive it's a soo-blimely perfect space in which to have stick thin models parade around in high heels showing off alice + olivia fashions for a bunch of rich and famous folks.
The almost all white kitchen has more dark wood floors, a lot of white cabinetry and, natch, a bunch of stainless steel appliances. This kitchen certainly isn't going to win any design awards, but Your Mama can imagine with a custom sized sisal rug, a country style round black table and some orange Panton chairs, this could be a kitchen we could love even if it does look like it may lack as much natural light as is optimal in a kitchen.
The "geometric" swimming pool is labeled so because if y'all look really hard you can see it's not quite a perfect rectangle. A terrific terrace over looks the city and includes an quintessential John Woolf pergola from which someone has whimsically and asymmetrically strung two strands of Christmas lights. While Your Mama is positively swooning over the swimming pool and terrace, we are more than a bit concerned about what happens when one gets thirsty or needs to use the terlit. It's entirely possible the lowest floor of the house, which is easily accessible from the pool deck, contains a bathroom and mini-kitchen. However, we might suggest enclosing Mister Woolf's mansard roofed pergola–as we think it originally was–and installing a more convenient wet bar and poolside pooper.
The property continues to spill down the hillside where a gated motor court, garage and guest house can be accessed from a side street. This is all very agreeable, particularly since there appears to be no off street parking at the front of the house and street parking in these parts of the Hollywood Hills can sometimes be a bit of a burden. However, the number of stairs from the motor court to the top floor of the house where the kitchen is located is sure to give the weak-hearted and thin limbed some serious trouble. It would also give our vicious tongued house gurl Svetlana conniptions on those days when she'd need to haul the vacuum down to and back up from the guest house that sits adjacent to the garage.
None the less, we just might be willing to endure Svetlana copping a 'tude in order to to sip gin and tonics on that small but near perfect pool deck while the sun sets over the Pacific Ocean in the far off distance.
Many of John Elgin Woolf's amazing architectural creations still stand including the Pendleton House on N. Beverly Drive which has long been the home of sexpot producer Bob Evans and a spectacular house in Beverly Hills built in 1962 for Congressman Alphonso Bell Jr., whose family developed and gave their name to number of communities in Southern California including Bel Air. The Bell House, located just off Coldwater Canyon Drive on Lexington Road, is currently owned by notoriously brash, ballsy and foul mouthed super agent Sue Mengers (now retired) whose client list included folks like Barbra Streisand, Sidney Lumet, Jack Nicholson, Bob Fosse, Burt Reynolds, Cher, Peter Bogdanovich, Steve McQueen and on and on and on.
Monday, February 23, 2009
UPDATE: Deborah Gibson
Last week Your Mama revealed that former teen singing sensation turned nood model and Broadway baby Deborah Gibson listed her Sunset Strip area house for sale with an asking price $995,000. There was nothing shocking about that in and of itself, people buy and sell houses all the time. However, listing information somewhat surprisingly stated the property was (and we quote the listing) "subject to a short sale," meaning Miss Gibson is offering to sell the house at a price less than what she owes on the mortgage.
Then along comes her pr peeps who subsequently told Perez Hilton (or somebody) that, "Much to the chagrin of media everywhere, Deborah is simply moving in with her boyfriend." Well, my oh my, isn't that nice? Your Mama genuinely hopes Miss Living In Sin Gibson is truly happy living up with her doctor/documentarian boy-beau. We do. Really, we do. However, that does not explain why public records we accessed through Property Shark clearly show a Notice of Default was filed on the modest 2 bedroom property for which she paid $1,275,000.
Miss Gibson's spinmeister went on to say, "As we all know, [this] is the right time to sell...and, this was it for her." Really? The right time to sell? Come on! Hunny, have you read the papers or watched the news programs? This is most definitely not the time to sell a house if you don't have to and, quite frankly, it's never, ever time to sell a house for less than you paid, you know?
It's entirely possible the Miss Gibson and her man-friend can well afford to absorb the financial hit from selling her house short. And we genuinely hope they can. We do. But listen to Your Mama here Miss Gibson because we are trying to help you. In some situations, and this would be one of them, no comment is so much better than having your pr person go around saying things that simply make no sense.
Then along comes her pr peeps who subsequently told Perez Hilton (or somebody) that, "Much to the chagrin of media everywhere, Deborah is simply moving in with her boyfriend." Well, my oh my, isn't that nice? Your Mama genuinely hopes Miss Living In Sin Gibson is truly happy living up with her doctor/documentarian boy-beau. We do. Really, we do. However, that does not explain why public records we accessed through Property Shark clearly show a Notice of Default was filed on the modest 2 bedroom property for which she paid $1,275,000.
Miss Gibson's spinmeister went on to say, "As we all know, [this] is the right time to sell...and, this was it for her." Really? The right time to sell? Come on! Hunny, have you read the papers or watched the news programs? This is most definitely not the time to sell a house if you don't have to and, quite frankly, it's never, ever time to sell a house for less than you paid, you know?
It's entirely possible the Miss Gibson and her man-friend can well afford to absorb the financial hit from selling her house short. And we genuinely hope they can. We do. But listen to Your Mama here Miss Gibson because we are trying to help you. In some situations, and this would be one of them, no comment is so much better than having your pr person go around saying things that simply make no sense.
Let's Talk Mega-Mansions
Is it just Your Mama or does it seem to everyone like more and more mega-mansions and insanely priced apartments are making their way to the market? Just this this week, two unbelievably lavish residences hit the market with elephantine asking prices of $53,000,000 and $85,000,000. And that was just in Los Angeles. Exceedingly high priced properties are, in fact, popping up all over. We thought about making a list of the 10 most expensive residences in the country, but it seems that the folks at Forbes already do that on a pretty regular basis. So we thought we'd narrow our focus a bit and have a look-see at 10 of the most expensive properties on the market in the Los Angeles area.
Before we begin, keep in mind that as far as we know–and we could be wrong–only one single family property has ever traded hands in the Los Angeles area for more than $50,000,000. that was when former Global Crossing chairman Gary Winnick paid a mind numbing $94,000,000 (approx.) for the Weber Mansion in Bel Air which records show has at least 20 terlits and several acres of manicured grounds that jut out on a promontory overlooking the Bel Air Country Club. That transaction, however, involved a complex asset trade rather than a straight trade of cash for property.
There are a number of instances when properties in the L.A. area have come close to breaking through the fifty million dollar ceiling including when Billionaire David Geffen paid a reported $47,500,000 (and some say more) for the 10-acre Jack Warner estate on Angelo Drive in Beverly Hills and tool tycoon Eric Smidt paid a reported $46,000,000 (some say $42,000,000) for The Knoll, the long time estate of billionaire biznessman Marvin Davis that sits on its own hilltop above Schuyler Road in Beverly Hills. In late 2008, records (and our sources) reveal that billionaire Tom Gores parted with $56,000,000 for two adjacent properties on super swank Siena Way in Bel Air, including the massive mansion that once belonged to Verna Harrah, the widow of casino magnate Bill Harrah, as in the Harrah's Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. But that doesn't really count since that deal involved two single family homes rather than just one.
What all that means, of course, is that any L.A. area property priced over fifty million clams is a bit of a tough sell, particularly in the crappy economy with which we're currently coping.
Now children, please, Before y'all get to sending Your Mama a slew of nasty and hateful email berating us for not including this mansion or that chateau on our little list, keep in mind that we are aware our list of prodigiously priced properties is incomplete. Okaaay? If you want to be helpful, which is always nicer than being an angry, seething asshole, send us a nice little note pointing us towards one of the outrageously priced properties we did not include.
Okay, here we go...
1. The Beverly House / Owned by attorney/financier Leonard Ross, the historic N. Beverly Drive estate was listed in late 2007 with a coma inducing asking price of $165,000,000. Surely there were some looky-loos but no one willing to cough up that kind of cash because the 6.25 acre estate which was once owned by William Randolph Hearst was yanked from the open market in Sept. of 2008 and remains unsold. The property is no longer advertised on the open market, but we understand from a very successful property pusher in the Platinum Triangle that the 20,000+ square foot monster is "always for sale at unheard of prices."
2. The Manor / It has long been whispered and speculated that tee-vee titan Aaron Spelling's not always talked nicely about widow Candy was interested in selling her 56,000+ square foot behemoth on S. Mapleton Drive in the Holmby Hills. In fact, at one point it was widely rumored and even reported that she unloaded her architectural white elephant to an Arab prince for $130,000,000. She didn't. However, now that's she's reportedly forked over a reported $47,000,000 so that she can "downsize" to an (approx.) 16,000 square foot doo-plex penthouse at the yet to be completed The Century building in Century City, it's no surprise she's finally getting serious about selling. According to a source we call Nelly Knowsitall, the 11 bedroom and 16 bathroom hotel-sized house is going on the market very soon with a heart stopping asking price in the $140-150,000,000 range. When asked who was going to be listing the property, the usually in the know Ms. Knowsitall would not name names but did say she heard there will be two listing agents, one obvious choice and one much less obvious choice who "has never sold a house over $10,000,000 in her life." Ouch.
3. Fleur de Lys / Owned by Swedish born philanthropist Suzanne Saperstein, who was granted the outlandish extravagance known as Fleur de Lys in her bitter dee-vorce from Texas tycoon David Saperstein, the 35,000 square foot mega-manse (some reports say 45,000) has been on the open market since July of 2007 with a sky-high asking price of $125,000,000. We understand from someone who would know that the property has been toured by many magnates and foreign born billionaires, but after more than 18 months on the market, the 12 bedroom and 15 bathroom faux-French pile remains the biggest jewel in the couture-luving glamazon's real estate portfolio. The dee-lishusly catty Kenny Kissintell, a man who loves dishing real estate dirt even more than Your Mama, recently whispered in our big ear that he heard from his bean spilling peeps that Miz Saperstein did received an offer of $88,000,000 from a "Chinese gentleman," but turned it down. We imagine she's probably using one of her many Louboutin stilettos to beat her own ass for not running with that ball when she had a chance.
4. The Singleton Estate / Designed by noted architect Wallace Neff and built on a 7-acre spread in the Homlby Hills, the 15,000+ square foot Southern Colonial style residence was built by Teledyne tycoon Henry Singleton and was listed for sale in January of 2008 with an asking price of $85,000,000. Shortly after being listed to pomp and press, the 10 bedroom and 11.5 bathroom house on dee-luxe Delfern Drive disappeared from the MLS prompting some to speculate that a deep pocketed buyer was pushing forward with a sale. That, as it turns out, was not the case as no transfer records appear in public records. However, according to the always knowledgeable Nelly Knowsitall, the property is currently leased by hi-tech tycoon Halsey Minor who, according to Ms. Knowsitall, also has an option to purchase the place for a whopping $65,000,000. Given Mister Minor's alleged option to purchase, it's unclear to Your Mama whether this property is still, technically, for sale. However, should Mister Minor and family end up walking away from their purchase option and choose to move on to a home of their own, we're sure this property will land back on the open market with an asking price well in excess of $50,000,000.
5. Le Belvedere / The newest member of the mega-manse club to arrive on the open market belongs to real estate developer Mohamed Hadid and carries a porcine asking price of $85,000,000. The Nimes Road residence measures in at approximately 48,000 square feet and, as far as we're concerned, if this hotel-sized house were a person it would wear Versace head to toe, drive, a white Rolls Royce and go around screaming, "I have so much more money than you!" The 10 bedroom and 14 bathroom house sits on a 2.2 acre parcel in a choice section of Bel Air and the owner claims to have spent a jaw dropping $59,000,000 building the behemoth.
6. The Chadwick Beach House / Ever since July of 2008, real estate investment magnate William Chadwick has been trying to dump his ocean front spread in Malee-boo for the swollen sum of $65,000,000. According to listing information, the Cape Cod-ish style mansion on covetable Carbon Beach measures approximately 10,500 square feet and contains 6 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms including a sprawling 2,100 square foot ocean view master suite. The property spans an almost unheard of 150 feet on Malee-boo's most exclusive and expensive stretch of sand and includes over 4,500 square feet of decking and a 75-foot long beach side swimming pool and spa.
7. The Robert Taylor Ranch / Also listed at a staggering $65,000,000 is the Robert Taylor Ranch in the Mandeville Canyon area of Brentwood. Currently owned by former radio station owner Ken Roberts, the secluded 112-acre spread includes a main residence designed by renowned California architect Robert Byrd that includes 6 principle bedrooms, a three-apartment staff wing, four fireplaces, a screening room, wine cellar and a private casino/game room. Additionally there are four guest houses, a total of 17 full and 5 partial bathrooms, equestrian facilities, swimming pool and tennis court. The property has been for sale since the dawn of time with several different asking prices ranging from $35,000,000 to its current $65,000,000. At one point, the property was scheduled to be auctioned off to the hightest bidder and, at another point not too long ago, Our Fairy Godmother in Brentwood whispered in our big ear that the property was sliding into foreclosure, although it does not appear to be the situation now.
8. PickFair (or what used to be PickFair) / Once upon a time legendary architect Wallace Neff turned a humble hunting lodge into a legendary house on Summit Drive in Beverly Hills for legendary silver screen icons Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford which they called PickFair. The 22-room sprawler was later owned by L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss who sold it to much maligned singer/ack-tress Pia Zadora and her much older huzand Mishulam Riklis. Much to the chagrin of just about everybody, Zadora and Riklis tore down the original residence and replaced it with a 25,000+square foot monstrosity with 17 bedrooms and an incomprehensible 30 bathrooms. Now owned by Korean born bizness baron Corry Hong, the hill topping house has been listed since September of 2008 as a $60,000,000 fixer upper. That's right puppies, a sixty million dollar fixer upper.
9. La Belle Vie / Also new to the suddenly over-populated Los Angeles area mega-mansion market is philanthropist Iris Cantor's palatial Platinum Triangle mansion known as La Belle Vie that recently appeared on the open market with a staggering asking price of $53,000,000. Measuring in at around 35,000 square feet with 9 bedrooms and a total of 21 bathrooms, the 18th-century style pile was built in the 1990s with what would appear to be a limitless budget.
10. The Hutton House Estate / Located on a 5.2+ acre promontory high above Benedict Canyon and (according to listing information) modeled after Le Petit Trianon at Versailles, The Hutton House Estate was recently put on the market with an asking price of $49,000,000. It's unclear to Your Mama why it's called The Hutton House Estate and it's our understanding it's owned by a Korean woman whose money comes from hospitals or commercial real estate or something like that. The property records are a bit murky on this one so although we would not recommend repeating this like it's the gospel, it appears the unfinished property was purchased at auction in January of 2007 for just under $17,000,000, then finished by the new owners and flipped back on the market with a stupefying $32,000,000 price increase. Records on file with the County of Los Angeles show the house measures just over 22,000 square feet with 8 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms, however listing information indicates the chunky chateau has 7 bedrooms and 15 bathrooms.
Our little list of ten mega-mansions on the market in Los Angeles does not even begin to include the large number of estates that occupy the next rung down own the property price ladder that are being shopped both on and off market. Houses in that still hatefully and largely prohibitively expensive $20-45,000,000 category include Cher's Italian Renaissance style extravaganza in Malibu listed at $45,000,000 and a 10 bedroom and 13 bathroom spec built house high above Mandeville Canyon on Chalon Road that happens to sit just up the hill from California Governator Arnold Scwharzenegger's house and carries an asking price of $34,900,000. About a month ago, big biznessman Lou Gonda, who reportedly lost big with the collapse of insurance giant AIG, quietly floated his 1.5 acre Beverly Hills estate on Lexington Road with an off-market asking price of $42,000,000 which was just days later reduced to $35,000,000; Although we can not swear by the veracity of the rumor, we also hear from Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills that Steven Udvar-Házy, another billionaire who apparently did not dump enough of his massive stake in AIG before it went kaplooey, is quietly shopping his vast estate in the 24/7 guard gated Beverly Park community for God only knows how much.
And that's just in Los Angeles. There are plenty of properties priced well above $50,000,000 all over the United States (and the world) including (but certainly not limited to) Robert Friedland's $65,000,000 estate in beautiful Belvedere, CA and car dealer Terry Taylor's Addison Mizner designed digs in Palm Beach, FL which carries an astonishing asking price of $72,500,000. There are also, of course, any number of monumentally expensive properties in New York City such as retail mogul Les Wexner's sprawling Fifth Avenue aerie which is "discreetly available" off-market with a reported asking price of $60,000,000, and skin-care guru Sandie Tillotson's off-market Time Warner Center penthouse which is rumored and reported to have a butt clenching $80,000,000 asking price.
One of Your Mama's better connected sources, a ladee who well understands both uber high end real estate and the tangled machinations of Wall Street, told us recently that she's not at all surprised so many properties at the very tippy-top of the market are popping up for sale. Not only have many very rich people lost considerable sums of money due to the economic tsunami that has hit the United States (and the world), the days of being able to borrow forty bucks for every dollar in your pocket are long gone. See puppies, like so many Americans, many filthy rich folks also used the equity in their homes like bottomless piggy banks in order to finance an even more lavish life than they could otherwise afford and have now been caught with their financial pants around their ankles. Not to worry, most will never go hungry, but they may none the less be forced to scale back their lifestyle and shed some of their excess and expensive to maintain real estate baggage.
We will all have to wait and see what happens to all these mansions and apartments with twenty, forty and $50,000,000+ price tags. No doubt, there are still plenty of unfathomably rich people who can well afford them. However, the question seems to be, how many of these freakishly rich people still want to buy these shockingly expensive trophy homes not to mention take on all the attendant hassles and crippling costs that go hand in hand with owning, running and maintaining such large scale properties?
Before we begin, keep in mind that as far as we know–and we could be wrong–only one single family property has ever traded hands in the Los Angeles area for more than $50,000,000. that was when former Global Crossing chairman Gary Winnick paid a mind numbing $94,000,000 (approx.) for the Weber Mansion in Bel Air which records show has at least 20 terlits and several acres of manicured grounds that jut out on a promontory overlooking the Bel Air Country Club. That transaction, however, involved a complex asset trade rather than a straight trade of cash for property.
There are a number of instances when properties in the L.A. area have come close to breaking through the fifty million dollar ceiling including when Billionaire David Geffen paid a reported $47,500,000 (and some say more) for the 10-acre Jack Warner estate on Angelo Drive in Beverly Hills and tool tycoon Eric Smidt paid a reported $46,000,000 (some say $42,000,000) for The Knoll, the long time estate of billionaire biznessman Marvin Davis that sits on its own hilltop above Schuyler Road in Beverly Hills. In late 2008, records (and our sources) reveal that billionaire Tom Gores parted with $56,000,000 for two adjacent properties on super swank Siena Way in Bel Air, including the massive mansion that once belonged to Verna Harrah, the widow of casino magnate Bill Harrah, as in the Harrah's Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. But that doesn't really count since that deal involved two single family homes rather than just one.
What all that means, of course, is that any L.A. area property priced over fifty million clams is a bit of a tough sell, particularly in the crappy economy with which we're currently coping.
Now children, please, Before y'all get to sending Your Mama a slew of nasty and hateful email berating us for not including this mansion or that chateau on our little list, keep in mind that we are aware our list of prodigiously priced properties is incomplete. Okaaay? If you want to be helpful, which is always nicer than being an angry, seething asshole, send us a nice little note pointing us towards one of the outrageously priced properties we did not include.
Okay, here we go...
1. The Beverly House / Owned by attorney/financier Leonard Ross, the historic N. Beverly Drive estate was listed in late 2007 with a coma inducing asking price of $165,000,000. Surely there were some looky-loos but no one willing to cough up that kind of cash because the 6.25 acre estate which was once owned by William Randolph Hearst was yanked from the open market in Sept. of 2008 and remains unsold. The property is no longer advertised on the open market, but we understand from a very successful property pusher in the Platinum Triangle that the 20,000+ square foot monster is "always for sale at unheard of prices."
2. The Manor / It has long been whispered and speculated that tee-vee titan Aaron Spelling's not always talked nicely about widow Candy was interested in selling her 56,000+ square foot behemoth on S. Mapleton Drive in the Holmby Hills. In fact, at one point it was widely rumored and even reported that she unloaded her architectural white elephant to an Arab prince for $130,000,000. She didn't. However, now that's she's reportedly forked over a reported $47,000,000 so that she can "downsize" to an (approx.) 16,000 square foot doo-plex penthouse at the yet to be completed The Century building in Century City, it's no surprise she's finally getting serious about selling. According to a source we call Nelly Knowsitall, the 11 bedroom and 16 bathroom hotel-sized house is going on the market very soon with a heart stopping asking price in the $140-150,000,000 range. When asked who was going to be listing the property, the usually in the know Ms. Knowsitall would not name names but did say she heard there will be two listing agents, one obvious choice and one much less obvious choice who "has never sold a house over $10,000,000 in her life." Ouch.
3. Fleur de Lys / Owned by Swedish born philanthropist Suzanne Saperstein, who was granted the outlandish extravagance known as Fleur de Lys in her bitter dee-vorce from Texas tycoon David Saperstein, the 35,000 square foot mega-manse (some reports say 45,000) has been on the open market since July of 2007 with a sky-high asking price of $125,000,000. We understand from someone who would know that the property has been toured by many magnates and foreign born billionaires, but after more than 18 months on the market, the 12 bedroom and 15 bathroom faux-French pile remains the biggest jewel in the couture-luving glamazon's real estate portfolio. The dee-lishusly catty Kenny Kissintell, a man who loves dishing real estate dirt even more than Your Mama, recently whispered in our big ear that he heard from his bean spilling peeps that Miz Saperstein did received an offer of $88,000,000 from a "Chinese gentleman," but turned it down. We imagine she's probably using one of her many Louboutin stilettos to beat her own ass for not running with that ball when she had a chance.
4. The Singleton Estate / Designed by noted architect Wallace Neff and built on a 7-acre spread in the Homlby Hills, the 15,000+ square foot Southern Colonial style residence was built by Teledyne tycoon Henry Singleton and was listed for sale in January of 2008 with an asking price of $85,000,000. Shortly after being listed to pomp and press, the 10 bedroom and 11.5 bathroom house on dee-luxe Delfern Drive disappeared from the MLS prompting some to speculate that a deep pocketed buyer was pushing forward with a sale. That, as it turns out, was not the case as no transfer records appear in public records. However, according to the always knowledgeable Nelly Knowsitall, the property is currently leased by hi-tech tycoon Halsey Minor who, according to Ms. Knowsitall, also has an option to purchase the place for a whopping $65,000,000. Given Mister Minor's alleged option to purchase, it's unclear to Your Mama whether this property is still, technically, for sale. However, should Mister Minor and family end up walking away from their purchase option and choose to move on to a home of their own, we're sure this property will land back on the open market with an asking price well in excess of $50,000,000.
5. Le Belvedere / The newest member of the mega-manse club to arrive on the open market belongs to real estate developer Mohamed Hadid and carries a porcine asking price of $85,000,000. The Nimes Road residence measures in at approximately 48,000 square feet and, as far as we're concerned, if this hotel-sized house were a person it would wear Versace head to toe, drive, a white Rolls Royce and go around screaming, "I have so much more money than you!" The 10 bedroom and 14 bathroom house sits on a 2.2 acre parcel in a choice section of Bel Air and the owner claims to have spent a jaw dropping $59,000,000 building the behemoth.
6. The Chadwick Beach House / Ever since July of 2008, real estate investment magnate William Chadwick has been trying to dump his ocean front spread in Malee-boo for the swollen sum of $65,000,000. According to listing information, the Cape Cod-ish style mansion on covetable Carbon Beach measures approximately 10,500 square feet and contains 6 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms including a sprawling 2,100 square foot ocean view master suite. The property spans an almost unheard of 150 feet on Malee-boo's most exclusive and expensive stretch of sand and includes over 4,500 square feet of decking and a 75-foot long beach side swimming pool and spa.
7. The Robert Taylor Ranch / Also listed at a staggering $65,000,000 is the Robert Taylor Ranch in the Mandeville Canyon area of Brentwood. Currently owned by former radio station owner Ken Roberts, the secluded 112-acre spread includes a main residence designed by renowned California architect Robert Byrd that includes 6 principle bedrooms, a three-apartment staff wing, four fireplaces, a screening room, wine cellar and a private casino/game room. Additionally there are four guest houses, a total of 17 full and 5 partial bathrooms, equestrian facilities, swimming pool and tennis court. The property has been for sale since the dawn of time with several different asking prices ranging from $35,000,000 to its current $65,000,000. At one point, the property was scheduled to be auctioned off to the hightest bidder and, at another point not too long ago, Our Fairy Godmother in Brentwood whispered in our big ear that the property was sliding into foreclosure, although it does not appear to be the situation now.
8. PickFair (or what used to be PickFair) / Once upon a time legendary architect Wallace Neff turned a humble hunting lodge into a legendary house on Summit Drive in Beverly Hills for legendary silver screen icons Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford which they called PickFair. The 22-room sprawler was later owned by L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss who sold it to much maligned singer/ack-tress Pia Zadora and her much older huzand Mishulam Riklis. Much to the chagrin of just about everybody, Zadora and Riklis tore down the original residence and replaced it with a 25,000+square foot monstrosity with 17 bedrooms and an incomprehensible 30 bathrooms. Now owned by Korean born bizness baron Corry Hong, the hill topping house has been listed since September of 2008 as a $60,000,000 fixer upper. That's right puppies, a sixty million dollar fixer upper.
9. La Belle Vie / Also new to the suddenly over-populated Los Angeles area mega-mansion market is philanthropist Iris Cantor's palatial Platinum Triangle mansion known as La Belle Vie that recently appeared on the open market with a staggering asking price of $53,000,000. Measuring in at around 35,000 square feet with 9 bedrooms and a total of 21 bathrooms, the 18th-century style pile was built in the 1990s with what would appear to be a limitless budget.
10. The Hutton House Estate / Located on a 5.2+ acre promontory high above Benedict Canyon and (according to listing information) modeled after Le Petit Trianon at Versailles, The Hutton House Estate was recently put on the market with an asking price of $49,000,000. It's unclear to Your Mama why it's called The Hutton House Estate and it's our understanding it's owned by a Korean woman whose money comes from hospitals or commercial real estate or something like that. The property records are a bit murky on this one so although we would not recommend repeating this like it's the gospel, it appears the unfinished property was purchased at auction in January of 2007 for just under $17,000,000, then finished by the new owners and flipped back on the market with a stupefying $32,000,000 price increase. Records on file with the County of Los Angeles show the house measures just over 22,000 square feet with 8 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms, however listing information indicates the chunky chateau has 7 bedrooms and 15 bathrooms.
Our little list of ten mega-mansions on the market in Los Angeles does not even begin to include the large number of estates that occupy the next rung down own the property price ladder that are being shopped both on and off market. Houses in that still hatefully and largely prohibitively expensive $20-45,000,000 category include Cher's Italian Renaissance style extravaganza in Malibu listed at $45,000,000 and a 10 bedroom and 13 bathroom spec built house high above Mandeville Canyon on Chalon Road that happens to sit just up the hill from California Governator Arnold Scwharzenegger's house and carries an asking price of $34,900,000. About a month ago, big biznessman Lou Gonda, who reportedly lost big with the collapse of insurance giant AIG, quietly floated his 1.5 acre Beverly Hills estate on Lexington Road with an off-market asking price of $42,000,000 which was just days later reduced to $35,000,000; Although we can not swear by the veracity of the rumor, we also hear from Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills that Steven Udvar-Házy, another billionaire who apparently did not dump enough of his massive stake in AIG before it went kaplooey, is quietly shopping his vast estate in the 24/7 guard gated Beverly Park community for God only knows how much.
And that's just in Los Angeles. There are plenty of properties priced well above $50,000,000 all over the United States (and the world) including (but certainly not limited to) Robert Friedland's $65,000,000 estate in beautiful Belvedere, CA and car dealer Terry Taylor's Addison Mizner designed digs in Palm Beach, FL which carries an astonishing asking price of $72,500,000. There are also, of course, any number of monumentally expensive properties in New York City such as retail mogul Les Wexner's sprawling Fifth Avenue aerie which is "discreetly available" off-market with a reported asking price of $60,000,000, and skin-care guru Sandie Tillotson's off-market Time Warner Center penthouse which is rumored and reported to have a butt clenching $80,000,000 asking price.
One of Your Mama's better connected sources, a ladee who well understands both uber high end real estate and the tangled machinations of Wall Street, told us recently that she's not at all surprised so many properties at the very tippy-top of the market are popping up for sale. Not only have many very rich people lost considerable sums of money due to the economic tsunami that has hit the United States (and the world), the days of being able to borrow forty bucks for every dollar in your pocket are long gone. See puppies, like so many Americans, many filthy rich folks also used the equity in their homes like bottomless piggy banks in order to finance an even more lavish life than they could otherwise afford and have now been caught with their financial pants around their ankles. Not to worry, most will never go hungry, but they may none the less be forced to scale back their lifestyle and shed some of their excess and expensive to maintain real estate baggage.
We will all have to wait and see what happens to all these mansions and apartments with twenty, forty and $50,000,000+ price tags. No doubt, there are still plenty of unfathomably rich people who can well afford them. However, the question seems to be, how many of these freakishly rich people still want to buy these shockingly expensive trophy homes not to mention take on all the attendant hassles and crippling costs that go hand in hand with owning, running and maintaining such large scale properties?
Weeds Creator Jenji Kohan Gets a New Nest
BUYER: Jenji Kohan and Christopher NoxonLOCATION: N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $4,000,000
SIZE: 5,919 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bedrooms
DESCRIPTION: On of the great trophies of Los Feliz, this Med. estate occupies its own pvt, 3/4 acre+ walled park. Find your dreams here: provenance (Huntington est arch., Bixby and Chandler families for over 60 yrs); privacy (matures ground); style (impeccably restored orig interiors); amenities (updated systems, chef's eat-in-kitchen, grand master suite, swimmers pool, guest cottage, studio); condition (move-in) and real value.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Both Your Mama and our ever-faithful compatriot Lucy Spillerguts have been watching this historic Los Feliz lovely for some time, since early January when we received a juicy but unsubstantiated tip from someone named Mister Eminem that that actor Vince Vaughn's new girly-pal was pressuring him to purchase The Bixby Estate in Los Feliz.
But alas, as it turns out, it was not Jennifer Aniston's ex-lover and his new lover who scooped up the historic estate just weeks after it was listed, but rather a couple of successful scribes named Christopher Noxon and Jenji Kohan. For those who may not recognize their names, Mister Noxon toils as an author and free-lance journalist and has written in-depth articles for publications such as Playboy, Los Angeles magazine, Salon.com and The Huffington Post and Miz Kohan belongs to a budding Tinseltown tee-vee dynasty. Not only is she the creator, producer and writer for the Emmy nominated and Golden Globe winning program Weeds with the marvelous Mary-Louise Parker and the practically perfect Elizabeth Perkins, she's also the sister of David Kohan who, along with Miss Max Mutchnick, created the super-successful and award winning money-minting machine that is Will and Grace.
Property records now show that Mister Noxon and Miz Kohan scooped up The Bixby Estate, located in the heart of the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles, for an even-steven $4,000,000. The children might be interested to know that the sellers of the N. Vermont Avenue property only purchased the three-quarter-plus acre estate in August of 2005 for $4,200,000. A few flicks of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus reveals that after the considerable real estate fees were paid the sellers surely lost several hundred thousand smackers.
Also, and somewhat interestingly, the well-provenanced property was listed at $3,995,000, which means that if property records are accurate (and they better be), the Noxon-Kohan couple coughed up $5,000 over the asking price, something that just isn't happening all that much in Los Angeles anymore.
Listing information and previous reports on the property reveal the dignified Mediterranean manse was built in 1919 and designed by an architect named Elmer Grey, who happens to be the same fellow responsible for The Huntington Art Gallery in Pasadena and the Beverly Hills Hotel in, natch, Beverly Hills. The Bixby Estate was commissioned by and built for a man named Stafford Bixby who was part of the Long Beach Bixbys who in the mid to late 1800s owned and ranched much of the land that is now Long Beach. At some point, according to listing information, the property was transferred to someone in the Chandler family (of the L.A. Time Chandler family) but honestly puppies, Your Mama does not know (or care much) which one. Since the whichever Chandler owned the place, there have been several other owners.
Listing information indicates the "L" shaped main mini-mansion measures 5,919 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. However, a fast perusal the floor plan shows three principle bedrooms and 2 full and 2 half bathrooms in the main house, plus a staff bedroom and bath tucked back behind the laundry room. The grounds also include a detached guest house with a fireplace and private pooper.
The front door, flanked by two stone carved Chinese-looking lions opens to a lovely paneled entrance hall with a double set of French doors leading to the bougainvillea lined rear terrace. To the right is a graciously proportioned and paneled 33-foot long living room that stretches the entire width of the house from front to back. Beyond the living room are a home office with fireplace and an informal study/family room with an oddly located attached half-bathroom, a wood beamed ceiling, arched built in book niches and a couple of fantabulous arched French door windows that open to the rear and side terraces.
To the left of the entrance hall is the paneled and decent sized dining room with still more French doors leading to outdoor spaces. Behind the dining room are the home's service areas which include a breakfast area, a large center island kitchen, another half bathroom, the back stairs, a large laundry room and staff bedroom and bath.
Upstairs, two well-proportioned bedrooms each feature walk in closets and share a bathroom. The massive master bedroom measures a commodious 18-feet wide and 30-feet long and includes a wood burning fireplace and a small private terrace overlooking the front yard which provides a perfect and private spot for Mister Noxon and Miz Kohan to smoke a little weed before bed, should that be an illegal activity they enjoy. Beyond the bedroom is the large master bath where a large bathtub is surrounded by paned windows and a fashion fanatics dream of a walk-in closet that measures approximately 400 square feet and features a bank of paned windows for natural light.
The fully walled and secured grounds include a gated motor court at the rear of the property where the above mentioned guest house is located as well as another diminutive detached building perfect for a home office, art studio or hookah lounge and a detached 2-car garage with a terlit stuck up in the corner so that Driver need not ever stink up the poopers in the main house. Tucked into a private rear corner of the property is a wonderfully simple rectangular swimming pool surrounded by trees which will probably drive the pool man crazy, but provide a nice amount of shade from the blistering SoCal summertime sunshine.
Property records show the couple's previous home on N. Normandie Ave, which records show was purchased in December of 1996 for just $520,000, is close enough to their new one that they could probably push many of their belongings over in a few shopping carts borrowed from the nearby Ralph's grocery store on Hollywood Boulevard.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
UPDATE: Sting and Trudy Styler
Earlier in the week, Your Mama followed up a juicy article by Josh Barbanel at the New York Times who reported that Tantric sexing rock star Sting and wifey Trudy Styler's Central Park West pied a terre was going back on the market with an asking price of $26,000,000, a large number millions higher than when it was last listed in 2006/2007.
However, as happens sometimes in the murky waters of the celebrity real estate gossip game, apparently Mister Barbanel received some incorrect information.
Mister Barbanel originally reported that Mister and Missus Sting's 18-room doo-plex in a Beaux-Arts building called the Brentmore was going to be listed at $26,000,000 and handled by big-shit real estate agents Claudine and Raphael DeNiro–that would be Robert's son and daughter-in-law–who push pricey properties for Prudential Douglas Elliman.
A new report in the New York Times reveals that the apartment is actually going to be worked by a much less well known agent named Mark D. Friedman at Halstead Property and will be listed at a still very expensive but much less shocking asking price of $19,000,000.
Ain't that inneresting?
Listen puppies, Your Mama knows nuthin' about what happened between the Mister and Missus DeNiro and Mister Friedman, but you know it's a savage and sordid tale of revenge and deceit. Right? Okay, we don't know that. Maybe everyone was pleasantly cordial and hashed out the confusion over a friendly lunch at the Four Seasons. However, Your Mama well knows from personal experience the real estate world is a cut throat, dog eat dog sort of place, and when business is bad–and it is not good for most folks right now–even nice agents will verbally eviscerate and claw out the eyes of another agent in order to get a leg up.
However, as happens sometimes in the murky waters of the celebrity real estate gossip game, apparently Mister Barbanel received some incorrect information.
Mister Barbanel originally reported that Mister and Missus Sting's 18-room doo-plex in a Beaux-Arts building called the Brentmore was going to be listed at $26,000,000 and handled by big-shit real estate agents Claudine and Raphael DeNiro–that would be Robert's son and daughter-in-law–who push pricey properties for Prudential Douglas Elliman.
A new report in the New York Times reveals that the apartment is actually going to be worked by a much less well known agent named Mark D. Friedman at Halstead Property and will be listed at a still very expensive but much less shocking asking price of $19,000,000.
Ain't that inneresting?
Listen puppies, Your Mama knows nuthin' about what happened between the Mister and Missus DeNiro and Mister Friedman, but you know it's a savage and sordid tale of revenge and deceit. Right? Okay, we don't know that. Maybe everyone was pleasantly cordial and hashed out the confusion over a friendly lunch at the Four Seasons. However, Your Mama well knows from personal experience the real estate world is a cut throat, dog eat dog sort of place, and when business is bad–and it is not good for most folks right now–even nice agents will verbally eviscerate and claw out the eyes of another agent in order to get a leg up.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Another Behemoth Bel Air Mansion Goes Up on the Block
SELLER: Mohamed HadidLOCATION: Nimes Road, Bel Air, CA
PRICE: $85,000,000
SIZE: 48,000 square feet (approx.), 10 bedrooms, 14 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Dramatic location, aristocratic beauty, incomparable quality. Set on the most prestigious street in Bel Air, this three-story, approximately 48,000 square-foot masterpiece offers 280-degree majestic views of the city below and the surrounding mountains. The 2.2-acre property, embraced by a massive 1,000-foot long by 36 feet high hand-chiseled Jerusalem stone wall, is softened with lush foliage and specimen plantings, a swan pond and an infinity pool reaching toward the endless vistas. Stepping stones and monumental gates lead into the garden?s delightful tranquility. There is ample secure parking for 20 vehicles.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Earlier today, Your Mama spent considerable time and energy discussing the palatial pile in lower Bel Air, CA that philanthropist/widow Iris Cantor recently listed with an astronomical $53,000,000 asking price. That is, without a doubt, a lot of damn dinero.
However, Miz Cantor's asking price positively pales in comparison to real estate developer Mohamed Hadid's behemoth Bel Air mega-manse that has just heaved and humped its way on to the market with a spine-tingling, knee-bucking and mind-numbing asking price of $85,000,000. Lawhd children, Your Mama needs a nerve pill and a pitcher of gin and tonics just to loosen our mind up enough to comprehend a number that large.
In addition to having made millions developing 15 5-star hotels for Ritz-Carlton, Mister Hadid now dabbles in developing property for people who want 5-star amenities in their hotel-sized homes. In fact, Mister Hadid is the man responsible for the lavish mansion on Bel Air's N. Carolwood Drive where Michael "The White Lady" Jackson is currently holed up and reportedly paying $100,000 per month in rent.
Mister Hadid recently whispered to the lovely Miss Christina S.N. Lewis who pens the Private Properties column for the Wall Street Journal that he purchased the 2.2 acre parcel on super-swish Nimes Road about 6 years ago and claims to have spent an utterly shocking $59,000,000 to build the monstrous 3-story mansion that measures approximately 48,000 square feet and includes 10 bedrooms and 14 bathrooms.
Listing information for the preposterously posh Hadid house, dubbed Le Belvedere, indicates it is almost entirely surrounded by a 1,000 foot long retaining wall that stands 36-feet high in some sections and is clad in Jerusalem stone. Apparently, ordinary concrete would simply not do. One of the property's seven fountains sits at the center of a massive motor-court that spreads out in front of the imposing and seriously over-articulated front facade where the entrance is flanked by a pair of mature cyprus trees.
The definitely designed to impress the guests entrance hall has glossy herringbone wood floors and a curving Norma Desmond worthy staircase with dozens of heavily carved and super-fat spindles all lit by an impressively glittery chandelier that probably cost more than it would for Mister and Missus Hadid to feed fifty families for a year, which for all we know, they actually do.
According to listing information and recent reports, the massive main floor contains a reception hall, formal living and dining rooms, a paneled family room with a bar lounge (we'd need to be drunk to relax in a house this over-stuffed too), a music room, a wood paneled library, and a paneled office, and the main family kitchen, butler's pantry and staff room. If the children look really hard, y'all can see that one of the rooms with wildly intricate carved and ornamented wood paneling is, in fact, one of the home's two indoor kitchens. Your Mama was only able to determine that room was indeed a kitchen by the over-sized pot rack that hangs over what appears to be whopping work island.
At least five of the 10 bedrooms are located on the second floor–we're not sure where the other five are–and include three family bedrooms with private poopers, a junior master suite with a private lanai and mini-gym, and the ridiculously regal master suite which encompasses a sitting room, bedroom, dual bathrooms, dual dressing rooms and, strangely, a powder room. Now children, why in the world would a master suite with two living room sized bathrooms even need a powder room? Aren't powder rooms usually for guests? Do people this rich actually entertain guests in their boo-dwars?
On the large lower floor, Mister and Missus Hadid can easily entertain a few hundred of their closest friends in the ballroom that seats up to 250, feed 'em with the commercial kitchen, get 'em drunk in the 5,000 bottle wine cellar and make 'em sit through a home movies in the screening room that features obscene amounts of gilded ornamentation and a ceiling painted like a cloudy sky. We would die like that twiglet fashionista Rachel Zoe if the screening room ceiling changed from day to night like the one at The Forum Shops in the sensationally tacky Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas.
Also on the lower floor is a game room, a home gym set-up, a Moroccan themed room with a fantastic carved ceiling where we imagine the Hadids all gather to smoke the family hookah, and, finally, a barrel-vaulted and extravagantly tiled Turkish hammam where the Hadid clan can bathe and sweat communally with all their friends who don't mind stripping and scrubbing down in front of each other.
The landscaping and outdoor recreational facilities are no less lavish than the interior spaces and include all those above mentioned fountains, a swan pond–which is really such a bad idea since not only are swans notoriously mean, they poop indiscriminately, a 70-foot long infinity edge swimming pool, a 12-person, orgy friendly spa, an outdoor kitchen with a pizza oven and a courtyard where up to 100 people can eat a casual dinner al fresco.
Additional amenities include staff quarters located over the garage, outdoor parking for 20 or more cars and underground parking that accommodates two limousine-length vehicles, 19 fireplaces all with heavily carved and ornate mantels and surrounds, commercial grade utilities and entertainment systems and, thankfully, an elevator because Your Mama is plum tuckered out just imagining the cardiovascular strength necessary to haul our big booty up and down and around all three sprawling levels of this supermarket sized residence every damn day. Hopefully the Hadids allow the household staff to utilize that lift otherwise you know they're cursing every member of the family every step they take up and down the back stairs.
So where does one go after selling a monster mansion like this? Although we don't know if he plans to live there or not, Mister Hadid told Miss Lewis at the Wall Street Journal that he's currently building a new, slightly smaller 35,000 square foot chateau-style house over by the Beverly Hills Hotel. If we're being honest, and we always are, we'd confess that we don't have any idea where this new house is located. We're pretty sure, but can not seem to confirm, that Mister Hadid once owned a 980-acre estate called Pokety Farms located outside Washington D.C.. However, it's unclear whether he still owns that particular property. Anyone have any insight there?
As an aside, don't the children find it interesting that there are so many so-called trophy estates currently on the market not only in Los Angeles but in New York, the Hamptons, Palm Beach, Aspen and all the other high priced locales really rich people own real estate? We do. Our Fairy Godmother in Bel Air posits that with no more 40 to 1 leveraging of private wealth, this sort of excessively lavish lifestyle is going the way of the dinosaur. Hmm. More on that later.
Iris Cantor's Palatial Platinum Triangle Pile
SELLER: Iris CantorLOCATION: St. Cloud Road, Bel Air, CA
PRICE: $53,000,000
SIZE: 35,000 square feet (approx.), 9 bedrooms, 21 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...One of the world's most important residential properties located in prime, lower Bel Air. Flawless detail & quality. Approx. 35,000 sq. ft. of perfectly scaled, palatial interiors. 8 bedrooms, 21 baths, media room, library, family room/office, 3 kitchens, staff wing, pool, spa & pool pavilion. Tennis court, billiard room wine cellar, gym, beauty salon, 12 fireplaces...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Okay, we know that really rich widow and really big philanthropist Iris Cantor does not exactly qualify as a celebrity in the Hollywood sense of the word. However, this lavish living ladee just put her 18th-century style palatial pile in lower Bel Air, CA on the market with a blistering asking price of $53,000,000. So we're making an exception for her and her big house.
Now, the first thing we'd like the children to keep in mind is that, as far as we know, Miz Cantor spends a great deal of time on the east coast which means this gigantic house on swank St. Cloud Road probably sits empty much of the time. That is except for the considerable number of household staff it surely requires to keep a hotel sized house like this spotlessly clean just in case Miz Cantor pops into town and wants to host a last minute fundraiser for 50 or 500 lacquer haired L.A. ladees who have been sliced, diced, pulled and stretched into an Chanel-clad army of facial freak shows.
One would be forgiven for wondering where a single and child-free ladee like Miz Cantor gets all her dough. As gauche as it is to talk about money, we're going to anyway because, well, we're vulgar that way. After divorcing her first two husbands, the former model started working as a stock broker where she found her third huzband in Bernie Cantor who became the source of much of Miz Cantors millions. Mister Cantor, who went to meet the great stockbroker in the sky back in 1996, founded the bond trading firm Cantor Fitzgerald. Some of the children will recall that Cantor Fitzgerald's offices were unfortunately located on the top floors of the World Trade Center and that the company lost more than 650 of its employees when the towers were taken down in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Although Your Mama did not know any folks at Cantor Fitzgerald, we were just a few blocks north of the World Trade Center when the airplanes hit the towers and we watched in horror and disbelief as untold numbers of people leaped from high floors and the towers collapsed. Our cold, dark and snarky heart still aches for every person whose life was forever altered by that bizarre and tragic event.
Anyoo, we digress. Let's get back to the much lighter matter of hideously expensive real estate. Property records indicate that Mister and Missus Cantor picked up the small-ish but well-located parcel in Bel Air way back in November of 1991. It's unclear to Your Mama how much the couple coughed up for the property, but given that there was a bit of a housing slump in the early nineties, we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that it was a fraction of the the current asking price. The couple proceeded to build a massive monument to private wealth which they called La Belle Vie.
Listing information reveals that the colossal Cantor crib measures in at around 35,000 square and includes 8 bedrooms–or nine depending on where in the listing you're looking–and 21 terlits. Let Your Mama say that again...that's twenty-one damn terlits. No wonder there is a drought in California, all the water is swirling down the 21 terlits in Iris Cantor's palace of poopers. A couple other staggering statistics about La Belle Vie are the three kitchens (three!), 12 wood burning fireplaces and underground parking for up to 10 luxury automobiles.
It is our understanding from our always dee-lishusly informative pal The Social Butterfly–who happens to be acquainted with Miz Cantor–that the quirkily named New York based decorator Bebe Winkler was hired to do up the day-core and spent years working it over to within an inch of its life. Although the undeniably dignified rooms appear to our untrained eyeballs to be correctly done, properly proportioned and all did up with only the most labor intensive finishes and filled with only the most expensive couches and commodes, it's all rather fussy and Hôtel de Crillion for Your Mama's admittedly more modern taste in residential day-core. Do not any of the children misunderstand Your Mama. We would gladly give our mean ol' pussy Sugar to the devil in order to spend a week in one of the historical suites at the hoity-toity Hôtel de Crillion in gay Paree, but we definitely do not want to live up in a house where it feels like we would need to get dressed up just to pick our damn nose.
The heavily fortified front gates are controlled by a guard who sits in his or her own octagonal hut and open to a large motor court surrounded by very tall and precisely trimmed hedges. The spectacular and uber-grand entrance hall features a gigantic and sweeping staircase, a Volvo-sized chandelier and is topped buy a rotunda worthy of a government building in Washington D.C.. The mirror-like marble floors look shiny enough that Your Mama recommends any woman or man in a skirt who walks across this floor keep their knees tightly together lest their naughty bits be exposed to the man who answers the door.
Miz Cantor is known to possess one of, if not the largest collection of works by Rodin and several of the artist's pieces that have not been donated to museums–have the children ever heard of the B. Gerald and Iris Cantor Roof Garden at The Met in Manhattan?–can be seen peppered throughout the public and private rooms. Listing information reveals those rooms include leviathan living and dining rooms, a library/study, a family room, den, office, media room, billiard room, gym, wine cellar, and a beauty parlor, because hunnies, if you are as rich as Miz Cantor, you do not go the hair dresser, the beautification queens come to you. Daily.
We don't know if all 8 (or nine) of the bedrooms are as large and lavish as the gold and rose colored bedrooms shown in the listing photographs. But let's be honest...who needs to fly all the way to Paris to stay at the Hôtel de Crillon, when ol' Widda Cantor can put you up for the weekend in a behemoth bedroom fit for the Sultan of Brunei? We are going to force ourselves to look past all those vigorously swagged draperies in the bedrooms because although we puke a little in our mouth when we see such over-processed window treatments, they are exactly what we would expect in a house of this style and magnitude.
The grounds, which are far more modest in size than one might expect on a property with an asking price of $53,000,000, include a sorta small patch of grass, some formal Frenchy gardens, a sunken and properly positioned north/south tennis court and a swimming pool complex that includes a dark bottomed pool, spa and and adjacent pavilion.
Should any of the children in the position to spare several tens of millions of dollars to purchase, another a couple hundred grand every year for taxes and gawd only knows how much for monthly maintenance want to tour the property, we're told by Our Fairy Godmother in Bel Air that a 48-hour notice is required. 48 hours? That's two damn days! But then again, it probably takes two days for the terlit gurl(s) to scrub all 21 of the properties poopers.
It is our understanding that in addition to La Belle Vie, Miz Cantor also owns an apartment on Central Park South in Manhattan as well as a water front spread in Westhampton, NY which she picked up in November of 2000 for $2,650,000. It also appears that she maintains a posh place in Palm Beach, FL where prop records show her name attached to a property with Intracoastal Waterway access that was bought in May of 2002 for $8,635,000.
Miz Cantor tried to unload her big ol' house in Bel Air back in the year 2000 when she listed the stately estate with an asking price of $45,000,000. No doubt all manner of potentates and magnates looked at the place, but after almost 2.5 years on the market, the humongous house remained unsold and was taken off the market. Perhaps she will have better luck this time around.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Judge Greg Mathis Lists Beverly Hills Manse
SELLER: Greg and Linda MathisLOCATION: Clerendon Road, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $5,900,000
SIZE: 7,755 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Sensational Mediterranean Villa on over 1/2 acre. One of the best lots in Mulholland Estates. Very dramatic home w/ wonderful rm proportions, open flr plan & high ceilings. Soaring 2 story ceilings in entry & floating staircase. Kitchen w/ center island & lrg breakfast area. Fabulous family rm w/ fireplace, bar. Master suite w/ sitting rm, marble bath, walk-in closets & fireplace. Formal library, home office, exercise rm (or 5th bedrm). Patio, pool/spa & yard overlooks city.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to a friendly gentleman we'll call Denny Digsitup we have learned that tee-vee show judge Greg Mathis has heaved his house in the 24-hour guard gated Mulholland Estates community on to the market with an asking price of $5,900,000.
Now listen puppies, without the aid of the interweb, Your Mama would never have known who this Greg Mathis person is because we do not watch any of those soul crushing courtroom programs where a bunch of nincompoops go on the tee-vee and stand before some mouthy judge so they can whine about how their sister's boyfriend's cuzzin's baby daddy took their Monte Carlo for a joy ride and got into a fender bender that resulted in the damn rear view mirror being ripped off and now they're suing $47 and 29¢ in damages and another $812 for pain and suffering. Pleeze.
Anyhoo, for more years than we can be bothered to find out, Mister Judge Greg Mathis has donned a flowing black robe and sat up on his legal high horse called "the bench" and doled out punishments on his eponymous boob-toob program Judge Mathis. While Your Mama can not condone these upsetting courtroom television programs that we feel make mockery of justice and reduce our legal system to the lowest common denominator of righteous anger and moral indignation, we will give Mister Judge Mathis his due props for pulling himself right up and out of the gang life in Michigan, going to law school, making millions in Hollywood and buying a big house in the Hills of Beverly.
A peep into public records shows that Mister Judge Mathis and his lovely ladee-wife Linda purchased their Clerendon Road residence in July of 2005 for $4,750,000. Prop records and listing information show the house of indeterminate architectural styling measures in at 7,755 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms.
Listing information declares the "dramatic" domicile features an entrance hall with "soaring ceilings" and a "floating staircase"–which does all sound pretty druh-matic, don't it? In addition to a formal living and dining rooms, there is also a "formal library." As opposed to an informal library, we guess. The kitchen has a center island and a large breakfast area and the family room features a fireplace and wet bar.
The master suite, according to listing information, includes a sitting room, fireplace, walk in closets and a marble bathroom that for some reason Your Mama pictures as having gold fixtures and a gigantic spa tub surrounded by silk flowers. A fifth bedroom appears to be used as a home gym according to listing information.
The back of the house offers several rounded and raised terraces that look out over the back yard where there are two large grassy areas separated by a swimming pool and spa complex all of which offer city views.
Records reveal that Mister and Missus Judge Mathis also own a 14 room house with six bedrooms and 4 full and 3 half bathrooms in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan which they picked up in July of 2000 for $970,000 and, as it turns out, is also currently listed for sale with an unnecessarily complicated asking price of $1,194,999. Ain't that inneresting? Hmm.
Your Mama Hears...
...from a source we'll call Betty Blathersalot that Jenufleck or Affner–or whatever it is all the celebrity gossips call Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner–are back out looking for big new digs and have their notoriously fickle eyes on a twenty+ million dollar property.
The couple currently shack up in Brentwood at the house Miz Garner owned before hitching her wagon to Mister Affleck. But soon after a bun showed up in Miz Garner's oven, the happily marrieds starting touring all the high priced properties in the Platinum Triangle and beyond.
The freakishly well informed Nelly Knowsitall told us some time ago that Garfleck–or whatever–have come thisclose to buying at least five lavish estates including one on S. Mapleton Drive in the Holmby Hills and another one not too far from the wonderfully accented blog queen Ariana Huffington's home on N. Carmelina Avenue in Brentwood. But when push came to shove and it was time to put the quill to the contract, the indecisive duo got cold feet and backed away from each of the deals. More recently, we chit-chatted with Ms. Knowsitall who whispered in our big ear that she hears that Affgar–or whatever–are now planning to sit tight on Tigertail Road until the market stabilizes a bit.
On the contrary, another of Your Mama's better connected sources who is not Betty Blathersalot tells us the paparazzi hounded parents of two are indeed negotiating for a very impressive piece of real estate.
So who knows? However, if they really do buy the house we hear they're hot for, it would be a real mitzvah for the sellers who have been trying to unload their very private and well secured white elephant for a long time.
The couple currently shack up in Brentwood at the house Miz Garner owned before hitching her wagon to Mister Affleck. But soon after a bun showed up in Miz Garner's oven, the happily marrieds starting touring all the high priced properties in the Platinum Triangle and beyond.
The freakishly well informed Nelly Knowsitall told us some time ago that Garfleck–or whatever–have come thisclose to buying at least five lavish estates including one on S. Mapleton Drive in the Holmby Hills and another one not too far from the wonderfully accented blog queen Ariana Huffington's home on N. Carmelina Avenue in Brentwood. But when push came to shove and it was time to put the quill to the contract, the indecisive duo got cold feet and backed away from each of the deals. More recently, we chit-chatted with Ms. Knowsitall who whispered in our big ear that she hears that Affgar–or whatever–are now planning to sit tight on Tigertail Road until the market stabilizes a bit.
On the contrary, another of Your Mama's better connected sources who is not Betty Blathersalot tells us the paparazzi hounded parents of two are indeed negotiating for a very impressive piece of real estate.
So who knows? However, if they really do buy the house we hear they're hot for, it would be a real mitzvah for the sellers who have been trying to unload their very private and well secured white elephant for a long time.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
UPDATE: Villa Leopolda
The rumor and gossip about billionaire widow Lily Safra's notoriously high maintenance Villa Leopolda seems never to end.
In the summer of 2008, it was widely speculated (and reported) that The Widow Safra sold her legendary Belle Epoque estate in the Cote d'Azure to Russian billionaire Mikail Prokhorov for a teeth chattering and record breaking £392,000,000. That's around $560,000,000 to all us Americanos at today's rates. However, back when the deal was alleged to have been done, it rang up to $750,000,000, a nerve-wracking amount of money, the thought of which nearly landed Your Mama right up in the hospital with a colossal case of shock and awe.
Naturally, Mister Prokhorov's people said, "Nyet!" and vehemently denied Mister Prokhorov's involvement in any rumored sale of Villa Leopolda. Then came a report in early January of 2009 in The Londoner's Diary that stated The Widow Safra's trophy estate had, in fact, not Aha! been sold. About that time, Your Mama heard from a couple our savvy sources connected to the same sorts of jet-setting circles The Widow Safra runs in and both whispered in our big ol' ear that the news of a sale was just a bunch of hooey at best and a pathetic publicity ploy at worse.
Fast forward to the middle of February when the scuttlebutt starts up again in the London papers. Earlier today, both the Times Online and the Daily Mail ran titillating articles that claim Mister Prokhorov wants out of the alleged deal and is demanding his £39,000,000 deposit be returned by The Widow Safra.
Miz Safra, a lacquer haired high society ladee who knows well how to grind the financial gears, has reportedly refused to return the massive deposit citing French law which states property buyers lose their deposit in the event they back out of a real estate deal after the sales agreement has been signed.
As the children might imagine, the Widow Safra remains mum on the matter and, as usual, Mister Prokhorov's people have once again declared, "Nyet!" Mister Prokhorov's spokesman went on to repeat the oft repeated claim that the insanely rich Russian billionaire would conduct no bizness in the country of France until French authorities apologize for arresting him for the alleged procurement of prostitutes for himself an some horny friends while they all threw it down billionaire style in the swank ski resort of Courchevel in January of 2007. Needless to say, the French authorities have not apologized, nor does it look like they're going to. All of which means, of course, that any news of an offer, sale ore request for a deposit to be returned is all just speculation and gossip.
Your Mama imagines we won't know when or if Villa Leopolda sells until a fleet of moving trucks shows up in the dead of night in an attempt to covertly squirrel out all The Widow Safra's glitzy gew-gaws and swellegant knick-knacks unnoticed by the media. We shall see, children, we shall see.
Incidently, one report went on to say that the global economic downturn has hit rich Russians halaciously hard and that even uber-flashy Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich is quietly trying to dump his lavish water front spread in the Cap d'Antibes, another unconfirmed rumor that we should all savor, relish and take in with a gigantic grain of salt.
In the summer of 2008, it was widely speculated (and reported) that The Widow Safra sold her legendary Belle Epoque estate in the Cote d'Azure to Russian billionaire Mikail Prokhorov for a teeth chattering and record breaking £392,000,000. That's around $560,000,000 to all us Americanos at today's rates. However, back when the deal was alleged to have been done, it rang up to $750,000,000, a nerve-wracking amount of money, the thought of which nearly landed Your Mama right up in the hospital with a colossal case of shock and awe.
Naturally, Mister Prokhorov's people said, "Nyet!" and vehemently denied Mister Prokhorov's involvement in any rumored sale of Villa Leopolda. Then came a report in early January of 2009 in The Londoner's Diary that stated The Widow Safra's trophy estate had, in fact, not Aha! been sold. About that time, Your Mama heard from a couple our savvy sources connected to the same sorts of jet-setting circles The Widow Safra runs in and both whispered in our big ol' ear that the news of a sale was just a bunch of hooey at best and a pathetic publicity ploy at worse.
Fast forward to the middle of February when the scuttlebutt starts up again in the London papers. Earlier today, both the Times Online and the Daily Mail ran titillating articles that claim Mister Prokhorov wants out of the alleged deal and is demanding his £39,000,000 deposit be returned by The Widow Safra.
Miz Safra, a lacquer haired high society ladee who knows well how to grind the financial gears, has reportedly refused to return the massive deposit citing French law which states property buyers lose their deposit in the event they back out of a real estate deal after the sales agreement has been signed.
As the children might imagine, the Widow Safra remains mum on the matter and, as usual, Mister Prokhorov's people have once again declared, "Nyet!" Mister Prokhorov's spokesman went on to repeat the oft repeated claim that the insanely rich Russian billionaire would conduct no bizness in the country of France until French authorities apologize for arresting him for the alleged procurement of prostitutes for himself an some horny friends while they all threw it down billionaire style in the swank ski resort of Courchevel in January of 2007. Needless to say, the French authorities have not apologized, nor does it look like they're going to. All of which means, of course, that any news of an offer, sale ore request for a deposit to be returned is all just speculation and gossip.
Your Mama imagines we won't know when or if Villa Leopolda sells until a fleet of moving trucks shows up in the dead of night in an attempt to covertly squirrel out all The Widow Safra's glitzy gew-gaws and swellegant knick-knacks unnoticed by the media. We shall see, children, we shall see.
Incidently, one report went on to say that the global economic downturn has hit rich Russians halaciously hard and that even uber-flashy Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich is quietly trying to dump his lavish water front spread in the Cap d'Antibes, another unconfirmed rumor that we should all savor, relish and take in with a gigantic grain of salt.
Mitt Romney Slims His Real Estate Portfolio
SELLER: Mitt RomneyLOCATION: Rising Star Lane, Park City, UT
PRICE: $5,250,000
SIZE: 9,514 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 8 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...designed to fit perfectly on the almost 11 acres surrounding it. Views of the Jordanelle Reservoir and the Uinta Mountains and a perfect location at the end of a private cul-de-sac, this unique post & beam home is a perfect retreat for you and your family. Several gathering areas provide enough space for lots of family and/or guests. The home will be sold fully furnished.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: According to The Boston Globe, the ridiculously rich and meticulously coiffed former Republican presidential hopeful and former governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney has decided to slim his fat real estate portfolio by selling two of his four fancy homes. All set to be sold are his primary mansion in Belmont, Massachusetts–which does not yet appear to be on the open market–and his 10+ acre ski getaway in posh Park City, Utah which was recently listed with an asking price of $5,250,000.
Property records for the post and beam extravaganza show it measures in at 9,514 square feet while listing information indicates that the architect's blue prints for the property show a slightly larger 10,008 square feet. Whatever the case, the house is huge and we shudder at what it costs to heat the damn thing in the winter.
Listing information reveals the rustic but undeniably lavish multi-story residence that appears to spill down the forested hillside was built in 1999 and includes seven bedrooms and 8 full and 2 half bathrooms. Presumably Mister and Missus Romney have a reliable terlit gurl in the area they can call when they're coming to down with 10 or 12 family members or friends.
Several large rooms with high peaks and a forest's worth of massive and muscular rough hewn beams provide plenty of space to impress and entertain family and friends. A gigantic living room features a monolithic river rock fireplace and custom made furniture that is being sold with the house. In fact, listing information says all the furniture as well as the custom made fancy fixturing is being sold with the house. We hope that does not include mattresses because, frankly, Your Mama thinks that's unsanitary at best and downright disgusting at worse. Don't laugh children, there are people who actually buy their mattresses used on Craig's List. Sad, but true.
Anyoo, A formal dining room easily seats 10 or 12 and the adjacent kitchen looks like the Little House on the Prairie took a vat of steroids like that A-Rod fellow who is finally coming clean about his illicit relationship with performance enhancing drugs. But we digress and that's really another sordid story for another day.
A large den/family room hosts a huge green leather sectional sofa that surrounds a cowhide covered coffee table. The rather cozy and western looking seating groupe is perfectly placed across from one of the houses many wood burning fireplaces and an old-school big screen tee-vee. Although it appears that anyone taller than five foot four would brain themselves on the beamed ceiling in this room, Your Mama suspects it's only the way the photograph was taken.
The master suite has more sky high ceilings, giant windows looking out towards the Jordanelle Reservoir and Uinta Mountains and a fireplace for all those romantic types who think making love on a bear skin rug while a blizzard blows outside is sexy and hot. However, it appears to Your Mama that the Romney's sorta chintzed out on the day-core in the master bedroom because it's all a little hodge-podge and rough around the edges. The master bathroom is all river rock and twigs and gives Your Mama the shivers. And not in a good way. This sort of fantasy bathroom day-core is fine and fantastic in dee-lightfully eccentric resort hotels like The Madonna Inn. However, it's really rather disturbing in a private home, even if it is one that's only used a few weekends a year during ski season.
Mister and Missus Romney continue to own a lavish lake front property on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire and last year, after bailing out of the presidential race, the cash rich couple forked over a whopping $12,000,000 for an oceanfront crib in the swish seaside town La Jolla, CA. A mouthpiece for the Romney's told The Boston Globe that although the pair are downsizing it is not due to a faltering financial situation resulting from the drastic downturn in the economy or the $42,000,000 of his own money he spent on his failed presidential campaign. The flak goes on to reveal that the couple intends to purchase a condo somewhere in Massachusetts which they plan to call their official residence. That seems fishy to Your Mama; A condo as their official residence when they're used to living in big ol' mansions? We'd bet one (and just one) of our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that Mister Romney starts spending more time in La Jolla...for political reasons. Of course, we know not a thing about his plans. Let's just call it a hunch and see what happens.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Deborah Gibson Taking A Hit in the Hollywood Hills
SELLER: Deborah GibsonLOCATION: Forest Knoll Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $995,000
SIZE: 1,733 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Fabulous designer home in Hollywood Hills above Sunset Strip. Beautiful chef's kitchen, stainless steel app, slate/tile baths, formal dining, den and wonderful backyard for pool. Very private. Offer subject to short sale.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Surely all the children who are older than 25 remember 1980s teen singing sensation Debbie Gibson and her radio friendly pop songs that had clean cut teenagers everywhere tapping their feet and snapping their little fingers. We do.
However, that sort of wholesome pop crap was never Your Mama's musical cup of tea. None the less, we do recognize that–for better or worse–the young Debbie Gibson paved the way for all the other teen aged gurls like Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson and Christina Aguilera who were tarted up just this side of looking like a hooker and sent out on stage to wiggle and woo the dollars out of the wallets of the parents of tweenagers around the world.
Debbie Gibson the teen superstar singer grew up to become Deborah Gibson who trod the boards on Broadway (Beauty and the Beast, Les Miserables, Grease, Chicago) and exposed her boobs to the world in the March 2005 issue of Playboy. More recently she took a not so successful spin on the disturbing Skating With Celebrities reality show disaster, created a children's camp in Los Angeles for aspiring performers called, natch, Camp Electric Youth, worked the stage in Atlantic City where she sang her 1980s hits mixed with Broadway standards and became an icon for a certain sort of homosexual.
She also set up house in the Hollywood Hills where property records show in February of 2005 Miss Gibson paid $1,275,000 for a modest house just off curvy, swervy and dangerous to drive Sunset Plaza Drive. Records show the Forest Knoll Drive house measures 1,733 square feet and listing information indicates there are two bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, one of which appears to have a stand up urinal installed, an apparatus we don't imagine Miss Gibson used much.
Listing information shows that Miss Gibson has recently listed her house for sale with an asking price of $995,000. A few flicks of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus reveals that figure to be a full $280,000 less than she paid for the house. Oh dear.
Miss Gibson's Hollywood Hills hideaway is well screened from the street offering the once blisteringly famous now just sorta famous woman all the privacy she wants and requires. Adjacent to the detached two car garage, a long, lung busting flight of stairs rises from street level to the front door. We're sure this is an excellent feature for helping Miss Gibson keep her pushing 40 booty tight, but frankly, Your Mama would rather have a fat ass than have to climb all those damn stairs every damn day just to get to the damn front door.
A small entrance hall opens to the living room which features wood floors, a wood burning fireplace and a large bay window looking out over that glute grinding flight of stairs. The children will note that in addition to Miss Gibson's depressing melange of furniture that all looks like it came from Grandma's house in Missouri, Miss Gibson has not very modestly hung a lot of her own showbiz memorabilia on the walls. The mirrored piano, which by our humble and meaningless estimation, is the only fabulous thing in this room and was once owned by flamboyant entertainer Liberace and makes a very strong and deliciously campy decorative statement at one end of the room.
Opposite the living room is a decent sized and wood floored dining room which has been painted that particular sort of blood red that many people think looks great in dining rooms. A large country-style breakfront holds all Miss Gibson's finer dinnerware and it appears that Miss Gibson has inexplicably hung a blanket over the window. Maybe it really is a shade or a curtain of some sort, but it looks like a damn blanket.
Listing information indicates the kitchen is suitable for a chef and perhaps it is. We can't get over the pot rack hanging over the work island to determine if a chef would want to be cooking up in there. Is there anything worse than cutting carrots and slicing celery while having to look at a bunch of dusty pots hanging from the ceiling? Ugh.
From the look of things, Miss Gibson's real estate agent showed up unannounced to take photos for the listing because there is no other legitimate way to explain the utter catastrophe that is the bedroom where the tee-vee has been left on, a vanity table looks a hot mess, a purse has been left on the bed and Miss Gibson's fuzzy slippers have not been placed in the closet or under the bed where they belong in a real estate listing photo. The main bathroom is no better. In fact, it's worse. An over-stuffed valise sits on a chair gaping open and the counter tops are littered with toiletries, make-up implements and a 7-Up soda can. A 7-Up can! Classy.
Seriously Miss Gibson, listen to Your Mama because we are sincerely trying to help you here. Not only is your house is being offered as a short sale, meaning you're likely going to have to beg your bank to accept a purchase price that is less than you owe, public records show a Notice of Default was filed on the property in early January which means that you gotta get rid of this place as soon as possible before you slip down the rabbit hole of foreclosure. Now hunny, we don't now if anyone has told you, but the real estate market in Los Angeles isn't as brisk as it was a few years ago and as a result it is extremely important to put your best real estate foot forward when trying to attract skittish and/or bottom feeding buyers. And that means, of course, that you need to clean up all your crap, call Your Mama so we can send our domineering house gurl Svetlana over to scrub the place down like it was a surgical suite and have your real estate agent come back over to snap new photographs that present your little crib in its the best possible light. Now is not the time to be leaving the house with bread crumbs on the kitchen counter or skid marks in your terlit.
Now then, one thing that may work in your favor is that the (slightly smaller) house next door sold in December of 2008 for $1,150,000 which makes your current asking price of $995,000 look at least in the ball park. Your Mama never likes to see anyone lose their house in a distress sale and just because we're mortified by the condition of your house in the listing photographs does not mean we don't feel for you or that we have any desire to dance on your real estate grave. We honestly wish you fortitude, dignity and a strong constitution during this ugly short sale process.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A Wee Bit of Monday Morning Mash Mash
1.
Holy Mary Mother of God, it's back.
We're talking the about the legendary Singleton house up on Mulholland Drive owned by hair honcho Vidal Sassoon which was listed in June of 2007 with a blistering asking price of $19,995,000 where it languished un-bought for 470-some days before disappearing from the MLS in late 2008.
The fully rehabbed 4 bedroom and 5 bathroom Richard Neutra designed domicile has recently reappeared on the MLS with a new listing agent and a new asking price of $14,995,000. Your Mama does not even need to flick the beads of our bejeweled abacus to figure out that Mister Sassoon has hacked a huge five million clams off his original asking price, an indication he must be getting serious about unloading the architectural white elephant.
All you mid-century modern purists can start ranting and raving about how this house was wrecked and ravaged by an insensitive rehabilitation, and all you sky is falling types can start screaming about how it's still $10,000,000 over-priced while the rest of you figure out a way to get your voice heard over all the stiffly worded and righteous indignation.
2.
According to the ladee at the L.A. Times, Your Mama's favorite middle aged and mouthy rock babe Courtney Love recently moved house. As far as we knew, she'd been shacked up in a rental on gated La Collina street in West Hollywood, but apparently she's decamped to a house on nearby St. Ives Drive that was formerly owned and (fairly) recently sold by Aussie songstress Natalie Imbruglia.
Miz Imbruglia snagged $3,725,000 when she sold the 5 bedroom and 6 bathroom house to movie making Mexican heiress Jeanette Longoria who has apparently decided to live elsewhere because according to recent reports and whispered words on the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine the a-list lesbian leased the place out at (about) $20,000 per month to the Ho from Hole.
We tease. We love Miz Love and all her high-larious high-jinks.
3.
According to the always well informed Josh Barbanel at the New York Times, Tantric sex loving rock star Sting and his Tantric sex loving ladee-wife Trudie Styler have reportedly re-listed their long time Manhattan doo-plex pied a terre at the Brentmore with an asking price of $26,000,000.
The 18 room spread–once owned by piano man Billy Joel–is comprised to two combined units in a lovely Beaux Arts building on Central Park West. The floor plan shows the dee-luxe doo-plex measures in at approximately 6,600 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms including a surprisingly modest master suite on the upper floor. Other amenities include a tightly curving staircase connecting the two floors, two kitchens, two living rooms looking into the tree tops that line Central Park West, two fireplaces, a book shelf lined office, two private elevator landing entrances and a library with a discreet back entrance into the dressing room of the above mentioned modest master suite.
If the children will put on their thinking caps they might recall that the global do-gooders tried to unload this place way back in the summer of 2006 when it carried an asking price of $24,000,000. The two floor sprawler sat on the market for well over a year, was briefly reduced to $20,000,000 and then taken off the market just a few weeks before listing agent Linda Stein was bludgeoned to death in her Fifth Avenue aerie by her assistant.
Given that the boho Brits forked over a whopping $26,500,000 for new doo-plex digs in the newly built, much lauded and perhaps over-hyped 15 Central Park West last year, it would seem obvious that their old crib up the street at the Brentmore has become somewhat superfluous. However, what's puzzling and perplexing to Your Mama's little booze saturated pea brain is that the real estate rich couple re-listed the apartment in a swiftly declining market at a price six million smackers higher than the last asking price. Is anyone really going to offer anywhere near twenty six million when they know the couple was willing to part with it at twenty million? No, we don't think so either, but we do wish them luck at doing so anyway.
According to rumor and report, in addition to the two leviathan apartments they currently own on in New York City, the couple also maintain an ocean front house in The Malibu Colony, a large estate in Tuscany, Italy, a couple of places in London as well as a couple of places in the English countryside.
Holy Mary Mother of God, it's back.
We're talking the about the legendary Singleton house up on Mulholland Drive owned by hair honcho Vidal Sassoon which was listed in June of 2007 with a blistering asking price of $19,995,000 where it languished un-bought for 470-some days before disappearing from the MLS in late 2008.
The fully rehabbed 4 bedroom and 5 bathroom Richard Neutra designed domicile has recently reappeared on the MLS with a new listing agent and a new asking price of $14,995,000. Your Mama does not even need to flick the beads of our bejeweled abacus to figure out that Mister Sassoon has hacked a huge five million clams off his original asking price, an indication he must be getting serious about unloading the architectural white elephant.
All you mid-century modern purists can start ranting and raving about how this house was wrecked and ravaged by an insensitive rehabilitation, and all you sky is falling types can start screaming about how it's still $10,000,000 over-priced while the rest of you figure out a way to get your voice heard over all the stiffly worded and righteous indignation.
2.
According to the ladee at the L.A. Times, Your Mama's favorite middle aged and mouthy rock babe Courtney Love recently moved house. As far as we knew, she'd been shacked up in a rental on gated La Collina street in West Hollywood, but apparently she's decamped to a house on nearby St. Ives Drive that was formerly owned and (fairly) recently sold by Aussie songstress Natalie Imbruglia.
Miz Imbruglia snagged $3,725,000 when she sold the 5 bedroom and 6 bathroom house to movie making Mexican heiress Jeanette Longoria who has apparently decided to live elsewhere because according to recent reports and whispered words on the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine the a-list lesbian leased the place out at (about) $20,000 per month to the Ho from Hole.
We tease. We love Miz Love and all her high-larious high-jinks.
3.
According to the always well informed Josh Barbanel at the New York Times, Tantric sex loving rock star Sting and his Tantric sex loving ladee-wife Trudie Styler have reportedly re-listed their long time Manhattan doo-plex pied a terre at the Brentmore with an asking price of $26,000,000.
The 18 room spread–once owned by piano man Billy Joel–is comprised to two combined units in a lovely Beaux Arts building on Central Park West. The floor plan shows the dee-luxe doo-plex measures in at approximately 6,600 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms including a surprisingly modest master suite on the upper floor. Other amenities include a tightly curving staircase connecting the two floors, two kitchens, two living rooms looking into the tree tops that line Central Park West, two fireplaces, a book shelf lined office, two private elevator landing entrances and a library with a discreet back entrance into the dressing room of the above mentioned modest master suite.
If the children will put on their thinking caps they might recall that the global do-gooders tried to unload this place way back in the summer of 2006 when it carried an asking price of $24,000,000. The two floor sprawler sat on the market for well over a year, was briefly reduced to $20,000,000 and then taken off the market just a few weeks before listing agent Linda Stein was bludgeoned to death in her Fifth Avenue aerie by her assistant.
Given that the boho Brits forked over a whopping $26,500,000 for new doo-plex digs in the newly built, much lauded and perhaps over-hyped 15 Central Park West last year, it would seem obvious that their old crib up the street at the Brentmore has become somewhat superfluous. However, what's puzzling and perplexing to Your Mama's little booze saturated pea brain is that the real estate rich couple re-listed the apartment in a swiftly declining market at a price six million smackers higher than the last asking price. Is anyone really going to offer anywhere near twenty six million when they know the couple was willing to part with it at twenty million? No, we don't think so either, but we do wish them luck at doing so anyway.
According to rumor and report, in addition to the two leviathan apartments they currently own on in New York City, the couple also maintain an ocean front house in The Malibu Colony, a large estate in Tuscany, Italy, a couple of places in London as well as a couple of places in the English countryside.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday Floor Plan Porn
SELLER: Marshall and Maureen CoganLOCATION: Fifth Avenue, New York, NY
PRICE: $25,500,000
SIZE: Big. 2 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Glorious vistas are enjoyed in the sprawling living room as well as the corner library which also features a southern exposure with views down Fifth Avenue; both have wbfpl's. The 17.9 x 15.5 foot formal dining room offer true elegance for entertaining. The private rooms are beautifully designed for privacy and repose...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We thought we would start the morning and end the week with a little New York City floor plan porn for the children to swoon and salivate over. A few months ago, septuagenarian financier and bizness bigwig Marshall Cogan foisted his two bedroom Fifth Avenue co-operative apartment on the market with a fair amount of fanfare and a knee buckling asking price of $40,000,000. No puppies, that is not one of Your Mama's typical typos...that's forty million clams for a two bedroom apartment.
The listing soon disappeared but recently popped back up with a much reduced but still staggering asking price of $25,500,000. Although it appears to have been around 1994, unfortunately we do not know when exactly when Mister and Missus Cogan purchased the 6th floor apartment, nor do we have any idea what the couple paid for the place. None the less, it's probably safe to assume it was far, far less than the current asking price.
Listing information reveals that the colossal Cogan crib contains just two bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms plus an additional staff bedroom and bathroom tucked into the northeast corner of the unit. And what bedrooms they are, children. The good-sized guest room includes its own marble private pooper and the vast master suite is composed of a small foyer leading to a large bedroom, two separate and custom designed dressing rooms lined with built in closets and cabinetry and two roomy marble and onyx bathrooms, one of which includes the all important bidet for the modern art luvin' Missus Cogan.
A peep and perusal of the floor plan shows the public rooms include a private elevator landing opening to a central foyer which acts as a central traffic hub for the entire apartment. A small but windowed powder room is well located off the foyer and down a short hallway for privacy and aeration. The living room and corner library, each with a wood burning fireplace, together stretch a full 45 feet and have three gigantic windows over looking Central Park and fourth windowin the Anigre wood paneled library that looks south down the bizzy lanes of Fifth Avenue.
A decent sized dining room is separated from the all white kitchen by a big butler's pantry and a closet lined hallway leads from the kitchen to a small office, laundry room and the staff suite. A back entrance into one of the dressing rooms in the master bedroom is also located off the back hallway which allows for the house gurl to draw a hot bath in the morning without disturbing the slumbering ladee (or gent) of the house.
Other dee-luxe amenities, according to listing information, include through wall air conditioning, an humidification system, remote operated blinds and an ultra violet air cleaning system which sounds pretty damn fancy to Your Mama.
As we often do when discussing high priced Upper East Side aeries, Your Mama requested a quick consult with the The Social Butterfly who told us she thinks–but isn't positive–the Cogan's dignified sprawler was all done up by interior decorator Jed Johnson. It would certainly make sense. While the day-core may not be particularly thrilling, it is none the less perfectly "correct" in the manner of the late Jed Johnson. Plus, Mister and Missus Cogan's former house on Pond Lane in Southampton was definitely did pretty by J.J. and appeared in all its glory on the glossy pages of Architectural Digest in June of 1997.
Now go grab a soda babies because Your Mama is gonna digress in order to provide a brief run down for all those folks not familiar with Mister Johnson's rather fascinating biography. A young Mister Johnson and his twin brother Jay moved to New York City in 1967 and were quickly swept up into the wacky and wonderful world of Andy Warhol. Mister Johnson started out as the floor sweeping boy at Warhol's famed Factory and later directed Warhol's film Bad as well as edited several other of Warhol's marvelously tacky movies. Some say J.J. and Warhol were boyfriends–they did, after all, reportedly live together for a dozen years–but it's just so hard for us to imagine the twitchy and bewigged artist being romantic let alone doing the dirty with anyone. Anyhoo, whatever the case, Mister Johnson began his gilded career doing up the day-core at Warhol's East 66th Street townhouse–currently owned by Hollywood honcho Tom Freston–and went on to work his stuff for other big name and deep-pocketed folks like Mick Jagger and publishing magnate Peter Brant and his then wife Sandy (who, incidentally, are the people who bought Warhol's Interview magazine after his death).
Mister Johnson's wild ride through New York City's hedonistic and glamorous intersection of Art and Money met its untimely end when he had the great misfortune of being a passenger on the doomed TWA Flight 800 that went down off the coast of Long Island in 1996. However, his legacy carries on through his eponymous design firm Jed Johnson Associates which is run by his brother Jay and design director Arthur Dunnam. Mister Dunnam was schooled in the office of the late and great decorator Billy Baldwin whose somewhat florid yet superbly restrained work still inspires the next generations of pillow fluffers and furniture fixers, so it goes without saying that he knows how to do the day-core like nobody's bizness.
Although The Social Butterfly says that 810 Fifth Avenue is a "good" building with just one reasonably large apartment per floor, it is not as "fabulous" as 834 Fifth, 4 E. 66th Street, 2 E. 67th Street or 820 Fifth which she claims offers just one (approx.) 9,000 square foot behemoth per floor. None the less, the residents of 810 include some very well established folks like financier Felix Rohatyn, swank socialite Jan Cowles and banking baron William von Mueffling of Lazard Frere to name just a few. Former residents include William Randolph Hearst Jr., shamed U.S. president Richard Nixon, Nelson Rockefeller (and a couple of his wives), and billionaire David Geffen who picked up the duplex penthouse in early 2006 for $31,500,000, never moved in and then flipped it at a substantial profit to Blackstone Group's Pete Peterson in mid-2007 for $37,500,000. So, while The Social Butterfly may say it's not a top tier building–and it very well may not be in the heavily nuanced, seriously competitive and notoriously persnickety world of Upper East Side co-operative real estate–but, you know, it's not exactly filled with high society rejects either.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Ashton Kutcher Sells Bev Hills Bachelor Pad
SELLER: Ashton KutcherLOCATION: Suffolk Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $3,700,000
SIZE: 4,860 square feet, 6 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Private tennis court estate on a peaceful cul-de-sac in prime BHPO. Exquisite custom renovation in 2008, featuring a 2-story foyer and LR w/ FP, gourmet Thermador center island kitchen w/ banquette leading to huge FR with full bar and wine storage. Master suite with double limestone baths, double closets, vaulted ceiling and fireplace. Incredible grounds with pool, spa, tennis court, and putting green. Three car garage.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Hush up babies, we know we are unfashionably late to the party on this celeb owned property which has already been discussed by both the L.A. Times and Mister Big Time. We're gonna weigh in anyway because we sorta like this cougar luvin' Ashton Kutcher fella who recently listed his Beverly Hills Post Office bachelor pad for $3,700,000
Before there was Demi and before he was clowning around making famous folks look like a bunch of damn fools on Punk'd, and way before he became a prolific and wildly rich reality tee-vee producer, Ashton Kutcher portrayed a high-lariously stupid and sexed up teenager on the boob-toob pot fest That 70s Show. Property records show that in May of 2001, during his long stint on That 70s Show, the one-time male model dumped $1,690,000 on a 4,860 square foot sorta-Tudar style house on sleepy Suffolk Drive in the Benedict Canyon area of the Beverly Hills Post Office.
His reality tee-vee credits include Miss Guided, Beauty and the Geek and that wretched True Beauty program where vain and allegedly "pretty" people compete to be the most beautiful of the sorry bunch. Young Mister Kutcher has also appeared in a number of goofy romantic comedies including What Happens in Vegas, My Boss's Daughter and the bone chillingly heinous cinematic gem Dude Where's My Car. Plus, he's a politically informed, active and articulate guy, which, quite frankly, is pretty damn hot.
Listing information reveals the gated and recently rehabbed residence sits at the tail end of a quiet cul-de-sac and includes 6 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms. That's lot of terlits for a single guy. The floor and stair treads in the double height entrance hall have been laid with brick-like brown tiles and for some reason a silly suit of armor has been tucked into the curve of the curving stair case. Someone please tell Your Mama that Mister Kutcher did not call this metal piece of poo Jeeves or some other stoopid and stereotypical butler-ish name.
The double height ceilings continue into the living room which features a herringbone patterned wood floor, a giant half-wagon wheel like window over a bank of French doors and a corner fireplace with what unfortunately appears to be a massive mirror that stretches from the raw timber mantle all the way up to the ceiling, a decorative detail that is far too Bob Evans for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooters rather delicate sensibilities.
The large gore-may kitchen is all did up and done over in about 49 shades of beige and brown with a beige faux suede paint treatment and the same brown brick-like tiles on the floor as in the entrance hall. A large work island with granite counter tops is surrounded by eveb more granite counter tops and a full suite of Thermador brand appliances. A built in banquet anchors one corner of the room which opens to what listing information calls a "huge family room with full bar and wine storage," features that surely pleased any potential buyers with a penchant for the booze.
Another room, let's call it the "man's room," has a lot of built in mill work cabinetry, a bronze (and pressed tin looking) ceiling and a poker table and four bucket chair things that all looks like it's trying to be something out of a turn of the century gentleman's club. Although we would never devote an entire room to playing poker, if Your Mama's memory serves correct–and it very well may not–Mister Kutcher and several of the other cast members from That 70s Show were major card players back in the early 2000s when poker was all the rage among the Tinseltown set.
The commodious master suite includes high beamed ceiling, a second wood burning fireplace and a private balcony overlooking the back yard. Listing information also shows there are two dressing rooms and two limestone bathrooms, a deluxe convenience that ensures the mistress and master of the house need never shower, dress or evacuate in each others presence.
Although not particularly large, the back yard features a lighted and wind screen wrapped tennis court that also doubles as an outdoor basketball court for pick up games with famous friends. A simple rectangular swimming pool–heated we presume–includes a spa tucked into one corner and is surrounded by what may or may not be blue stone terracing. Although we appreciate the structure that sits between the pool and the tennis court for providing some shade from the scorching southern California sunshine, we're rather disappointed with the execution. Lattice? Really?
As noted by Mister Big Time, this is the very house where back in 2001, a much younger and pre-Demi Mister Kutcher claims he caught those naughty Bush gurls Jenna and Whatshername smoking the wacky tabacky with one of his friends. The White House refused comment, natch, and Mister Kutcher has stuck to his story. Perhaps they didn't inhale?
Information we received from Madam Butterfly shows the house went into escrow just 5 days after being listed on the MLS. However, we suspect (but can not confirm) that the house was quietly shopped around off market for some period of time and was stuck up on the MLS once it looked like a hot buyer had walked through the door.
Previous to living up in the Bev Hills P.O., property records show Mister Kutcher owned a much more modest four bedroom house on N. Vista Street in Hollywood. Or maybe that's West Hollywood. Whatever the case, just down the hill from Runyan Canyon. Now, of course, the Kabbalah devotee shacks up in a gorgeous contemporary crib on celebrity lined Oak Pass Road in the Beverly Hills Post Office with his much older ladee friend Demi Moore and her trio of wanna be famous children Rumor, Tallulah and Scout. Okay. Your Mama doesn't really know if they all want to be famous, but that Rumor one sure does and she is working her nepotistic shit six ways from sideways. For better or worse, it seems to be working.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Elvira Is Flipping Out in Silver Lake
SELLER: Cassandra PetersonLOCATION: Moreno Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,499,000
SIZE: 2,821 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Warm and inviting traditional home in prime Silver Lake, with mountain and lake views. 4 bedrooms, 3 bath, cozy den with fireplace & an office/guest room. State of the art cook's kitchen with counter island and large sitting area with French doors to private wisteria-covered pergola, nude pool with spa, and a grassy yard.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The other evening as we were calmly working our way through our third gin and tonic and sorta watching Big Love with that amazing Chloe Sevigny chick we were sifting through the listings in the Silver Lake section of Los Angeles and came across a house that jiggered something in the deep recesses of our multi-tasking and boozy brain.
We put on our thinking cap and immediately starting peeping into property records and before long we discovered that the aforementioned house in Silver Lake is owned by a woman the children will best know as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. The the big wig wearing boobtastic double entrendre expert's real name is Cassandra Peterson and she recently listed her brick and clapboard crib with an asking price of $1,499,000.
Property records and previous reports reveal that the Madam of the Macabre picked up her surprisingly traditional style house on Moreno Drive in June of 2007 for $1,698,000. Your Mama does not even need to consult our beloved and bejeweled abacus to see that Miz Peterson is likely to lose a whole heap of money selling this house in a swiftly declining market and after owning it less than one year.
Listing information indicates the home includes 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms while prop records show the house measures in at 2,841 square feet, which is hardly huge, but certainly large enough for regular people. The two story house, which sits atop a front facing two car garage, is perched high on the up sloping lot and is accessed up a curving driveway.
The main floor includes a good sized "formal" living room with a large, multi-paned bay window flanked by two cute porthole windows, a wood burning fireplace, and lovely light colored wood floors. It also appears to have the same light celery paint on the walls as when Miz Peterson purchased the home, a baby grand piano that we really hope someone plays, and an unexpected, quirky and large portrait of a Saint Bernard.
With it's slip covered chairs and wine cabinet that looks like someone whitewashed it in their garage and then beat the hell out of it with a chain, the formal dining room would certainly please Rachel Ashwell, the high priestess of Shabby Chic day-core. The adjacent kitchen appears to be well appointed with high-grade stainless steel appliances and a work island large enough for Miz Peterson to perform an autopsy. The adjacent family room contains more more green painted walls, a flat screen tee-vee mounted over the corner fireplace, and more slip covered furniture.
As hard as we looked, we did not locate a single skull, cross bone, bucket of blood or anything that might be construed as a Gothic knick knack in all of Miz Peterson's home. All that hints at the owner's legendary livelihood are the few little Elvira action figures hanging out on the built in shelving unit in the room Miz Peterson uses to run her campy little empire. We do rather like the table lamp with the zebra shade that sits on what looks to Your Mama like a patio table placed between the two white slip covered wing back chairs that sit opposite Miz Peterson's boxy chocolate brown desk.
The master bedroom, or at least we think it's the master bedroom has several multi-paned windows that appear to be without any sort of privacy shades, French doors leading to a private terrace and the private pooper features dual sinks where Miz Peterson and her man-friend (if she has one) can freshen up before bed without getting on each others nerves.
We don't presume to know why Miz Peterson would choose to sell after just a year of ownership, but we do wish her well wherever it is she lands next.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Another Hoity Toity Hamptons Hideaway
SELLER: Thomas BrittLOCATION: Mecox Road, Water Mill, NY
PRICE: $13,200,000
SIZE : (approx.) 5,000 square feet, 8 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Introducing a Hamptons estate, south of the highway in Water Mill, designed for the personal residence of a famous interior designer. The 3.2+/- acre property(s) offers 3 single and separate parcels. The main residence, on 1.48+/- acres, features a 5,000+/- sq. ft. palace with 8 bedrooms, 5.5 baths, grand Neoclassical-style library, gunite pool and 90 ft. reflecting pool. The second lot, on 1+/- acre, offers a 2,500+/- sq. ft. barn with 6 bedrooms and 4 baths. The last lot, on .72+/- acre, has a 2 bedroom cottage with its own gunite swimming pool.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Earlier today we discussed the Water Mill, NY residence owned by actor Richard Gere that was recently listed at $8,800,000. As promised, we're going to discuss a second hoity toity Hamptons hideaway today that is also located in the sleepy but swish enclave of Water Mill. The Mecox Road estate spreads over three single and separate parcels which combined measure approximately 3.2 acres and is currently listed at $13,200,000. The three parcels can also be purchased separately according to listing information.
Thanks to an assist by our East End aide de camp Molly Motormouth, we've learned that the flamboyantly lavish estate, which looks to Your Mama like something out of czarist Russia, is owned by celebrated New York interior designer Thomas Britt who, as the children can plainly see, really knows how to work a room over.
The inimitable and formidable Mister Britt has been doing up the ritzy residences and posh apartments of filthy rich folks since before the dawn of time and he has well earned his vaunted position in the hierarchy of high end decorators. Whether you like them or not (and we suspect that many of the children will not), his exuberant and unapologetically opulent interiors offer those able to afford his elephantine fees a rigorous and perfectly balanced spectacle of flaw-less day-core. Mister Britt's extravagant handiwork work is often showcased in magazines like Architectural Digest, which will come as no surprise to anyone familiar with that particular periodical which specializes in the outrageously designed and decorated homes of people so rich that most others not in their social and bizness circles have never even heard of them.
Property records indicate Mister Britt, who apparently possesses bank accounts as fat as those of his well heeled clientele, purchased the triad of parcels late in 1994. We don't know how much he paid, so don't ask. But it's safe to say that's it was pennies on the dollar compared to the 8 figure amount at which the property is currently priced.
Listing information reveals the monumental looking main house measures just 5,000 square feet, or there about. Given the imposing and somewhat forbidding neo-classical massing of the facades, we would have guessed the house was quite a bit larger.
For most people the 8 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms in the main house would be plenty for a weekend getaway. Mister Britt is not most people. A 2,500 square foot guest house, which has been carved out of a barn, contains another 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms and a pool house cottage adjacent to the larger of the estate's two swimming pools offers an additional 2 bedrooms. While listing information does not indicate any poopers in the pool house, does anyone really think Miss Britt's gonna walk all the way up to the guest house to use the terlit? No, we don't either.
Whatever the lavatory situation in the pool house, the bedroom total for estate tallies up to 16 and the bathroom count adds up to at least nine and a half while listing information says there are twelve terlits. Both numbers mean there are a lot of dirty bowls to clean. Your Mama just hopes and prays that Florinda the minimum wage terlit gurl has been given the use of a golf cart to get her big bucket of Comet from house to house without putting her back out humping across the property's vast lawns.
There is so much happening up in this house that Your Mama does not even know where to begin with the interiors. So we're not going to. Instead, we're just gonna leave y'all be to behold and study the eye popping decorative three ring circus that is Mister Britt's lavish Hamptons hideaway. Your Mama suggests that the children come back to the photographs over and over again in the next few days because we promise you'll find something new and jaw dropping each and every time.
Bon appetit!
Richard Gere and Carey Lowell List Hamptons Hideaway
SELLERS: Richard Gere and Carey LowellLOCATION: Water Mill, NY
PRICE: $8,800,000
SIZE: Halsey Lane, 7 bedrooms, 10.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: It's easy to imagine living here. Since the turn of the century, rooted in time sits this lovingly renovated farmhouse. Cozy comfort with high-end luxury. Hiding behind the hedges, merging fantasy and fairy tale, a place to call home. 7 bedrooms, 10 baths, heated pool, guest house, artists studio and not too many maples.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Being that it's the dead of winter here in the northern hemisphere, Your Mama thought the children could use a little dose of the summer to come so today we're going to discuss two pricey properties in posh Water Mill, NY. That's the Hamptons babies.
The first property we'd like to discuss, which we read about in New York magazine, is owned by one of the film industry's sexiest and most outspoken Buddhists. That's right children, we're talking about American Gigolo Richard Gere and his good lookin' wifey Carey Lowell who have recently listed one of their (two) Hamptons hideaways with an asking price of $8,800,000.
Property records show the comely couple scooped up their Halsey Lane house in February of 2001 for $2,750,000 and, according to listing information, the property has been dubbed Too Many Maples. Desirably located South of the Highway–that's Montauk Highway puppies–on a 1.2 acre pie-shaped parcel, the turn of the century farmhouse style residence measures in at approximately 5,500 square feet and offers 7 bedrooms and 10.5 bathrooms, a large number that ensures a minimum wage terlit gurl be on call 24/7 to deal with any back ups and etc.
Listing information also indicates the fully hedged mini-estate includes a large heated swimming pool, a guest house and an artist's studio where we imagine Mister Gere spends his summer mornings meditating in the nood. Okay, we don't know if the man meditates buck nekkid, but we like to imagine that he does.
Anyhoo, the 100+ year old residence has been updated and upgraded with modern conveniences while still retaining the original charm and rambling quality of a house that's been added onto in a willy-nilly fashion over the years as the owners needed another bedroom, another bathroom or stuck a screened porch on to the back so they could do jigsaw puzzles on warm summer evenings without being eaten alive by the horrid mosquitoes that plague the Hamptons.
The three story and much gabled getaway is graced with a lovely wrap around porch on what was originally the front of the house. However, the main entrance now appears to be approached from the side via a circular gravel drive that is partially shaded by a pergola like porte cochere. The stair hall sets the tone for the mood of the entire house–as it should–where a simple and subdued palette sets offs some seriously spectacular wood floors, a couple of vintage light fixtures and an elegantly turned newel post that anchors the wonderfully wide staircase.
Listen children, Your Mama can understand why this house and its day-core may not be to every person's preference or enjoyment. In fact, it's not even what Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would do had we the scratch for a nine million dollar farmhouse in the Hamptons–which, of course, we do not. None the less, we find the Gere/Lowell abode and it's relaxed, weekend house of a very rich yet thoughtful person vibe to be almost beyond reproach. So y'all can make whatever sassy and snappy comments about all the silly plates that are stuck to the walls throughout the house, but we are going to refrain from our usual snarky remarks.
The living room is warmed by a corner fireplace, is stuffed with some comfortable looking seating and is separated from the formal dining room by a pony wall. Ordinarily we're not so keen on pony walls but, surprisingly, it's sorta working here. The farmhouse style table in the large dining room is surrounded by 8 mis-matched wood chairs and is lit by a pair of simple drum-shaped chandeliers. A mid-century sideboard adds to the eclectic but well conceived decorative melange.
The stunning wood floors continue into the kitchen–Your Mama loves us some wood floors in a farmhouse kitchen–where simple white cabinetry is topped by simple, but expensive, white marble counter tops. A large work island defines the work flow and hosts a quasi-commercial style stove, a two-drawer dishwasher and a breakfast counter where googly eyed guests can pull up stools and watch Mister Gere whips up some French Toast in his robe on Sunday mornings. Built into a well lit and windowed nook, the kitchen dining area is appropriately wrapped in wainscoting and the built in benches have been piled with down cushions and pillows in mis-matched striped and patterned fabrics. The children will note that a Scrabble game sits on the table. It warms the cockles of our cold, dark heart that the Gere/Lowell clan plays Scrabble because Your Mama loves playing us some Scrabble.
A small paneled den house features a built in book case with actual books in it as well as a good sized flat screen tee-vee so that no one need ever miss a single episode of the bizarre and dee-lishusly camp boob-toob extravaganza that is RuPaul's Drag Race where a bunch of catty queens are made to, "lip sync for their lives." Gorgeous!
Upstairs, the master bedroom features a high peaked ceiling with beautifully exposed wood trusses, a wood burning fireplace for all the Hallmark card types who like to get bizzy Valentine's Day style and French doors that lead to a private terrace. Although we really don't know if it's the case or not, given that there are 10.5 terlits for 7 bedrooms, Your Mama would like to think that each of the guest bedrooms claims a private pooper.
It seems almost unfathomable that Mister Gere and Miz Lowell would want to sell this near perfect weekend getaway. However, it does not appear that they are giving up the East End altogether because property records show that in November of 2005 the property rich pair picked up another Hamptons pad when they paid $6,900,000 for a 4+ acre water front property on Actors Colony Road in North Haven–that's up near Sag Harbor people.
In August of 2007, the couple paid $12,000,000 to purchase one of those delightfully ka-razy kribs in artist/filmmaker Julian Schnael's hot pink architectural folly in the far West Village of New York City that he whimsically calls Palazzo Chupi. However, it appears the pair are not so interested in living up in the Chupi with the usually pajama clad Mister Schnabel. Just seven (or so) months after closing on the 4 bedroom and 4 bathroom full floor flat, they flipped the bitch back on the market with an asking price of $17,995,000. According to the always helpful Street Easy, the asking price was later reduced to $15,000,000 where it languished before being taken off the market in early February of 2009.
As an aside and just for fun, here's a short list of things the children may not know about aging gracefully Mister Gere: He's an accomplished pianist; He was great friends with famed photographer Herb Ritts who took some of Mister Gere's first head shots; He turned down the lead role in Die Hard which subsequently went to Bruce Willis; And he went to the University of Massachusetts on a gymnastic scholarship which means the young man could (and perhaps can still) bend his body up like a damn pretzel. Lucky Miz Lowell.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Some Mish Mash for Monday Afternoon
Your Mama would like to put forth a few non-stories this afteroon for all the children who might care.
1.
Now that apparently well endowed soccer stud David Beckham has gone on record saying he wants to high tail it out of Tinseltown to play ball with some team in Milan, Your Mama is already steeling our brittle nerves in preparation for the family's real estate crazy train to pull out of the station.
The children will recall that after looking at every damn house in the Platinum Triangle with a list price over $15,000,000 and wearing out more than one high-fallutin' real estate agent, Sexy and The Spice Gurl finally settled for a newly constructed 13,149 square foot Italian villa style pile on San Ysidro Road in Hills of Beverly.
In April of 2007, the couple reportedly paid $18,200,000 for the six bedroom and 9 bathroom spread and it remains to be seen if they'll be able to break even should they chose to flip the property once they've vacated the post premises or if they'll have to take big hit on their fat bank accounts. We're sure some of the children have lots to say about that.
2.
Did the children see that after she moved to a condo in Westwood, CA that Lauren Conrad gurl from The Hills put her West Hollywood house up for lease at $11,000 per month? Pleeze. Let's not even go there.
3.
Back in January, American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino was widely reported to be thisclose to losing one of her two Charlotte, NC homes to foreclosure. However, she seems to have been saved from that particular fracas and fray just in the nick of time. Although the news may be as old as the hills to the children addicted to celebrity gossip sites, Your Mama only recently read the rumor that it was American Idol mean man Simon Cowell who bailed out Miss Barrino's cash strapped real estate ass.
Well looky there. Maybe Mister Loves His Perky Nipples isn't really an ass but just plays one on the tee-vee.
If true–and we don't know whether it is or is not–Your Mama imagines all those American Idol has-beens like big ol' Reuban Studdard and that poor alcoholic Nikki McKibbon whose plans for fame and fortune haven't gone exactly the way they'd hoped are ringing Simon's cell phone off the hook asking for a few bucks to keep their kids in diapers.
We tease. Sort of.
4.
Every one's favorite Sandy Olivia Newton-John recently sold her house in Malibu and decamped to Jupiter, FL so that she could shack up with her herb pushing huzband John Easterling. Proper records reveal that Mister Easterling has owned a home in Jupiter since 1999 and a quick search on the interweb shows he recently listed the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom house for $850,000. Presumably the newlyweds would like bigger and better digs more appropriate for a woman of Miz Newton-John's iconic stature and wealth.
According to the New York Post, Mister and Missus Easterling recently went to contract to purchase a 4,500 square foot residence in Tequesta, FL that was listed for sale at around $2,250,000 but bailed out before the closing. The sellers are suing (natch) and screaming breach of contract (natch) and the Easterling's legal eagle says his clients backed out because the seller was unable to close due to their inability to convince their mortgage holder to accept a short sale...which all the children surely know by now means selling the house for less than is owed on the mortgage.
The Aussie icon is much in the news lately not only for her somewhat unexpected wedding to Mister Easterling and recent real estate transactions. That's because Patrick McDermott, her previous man-mate of 9 years, went mysteriously missing on a fishing trip four years ago and after an extensive search was presumed dead but is now believed by an intrepid investigator to be alive and living on a boat off the coast of Mexico. This never ending saga has all the hallmarks of a made for the boob-toob movie and Your Mama would just fall over and die of glee if Miz Newton-John would agree to play herself in that sordid little biopic. Don't laugh children, you know someone is writing that script and taking meetings at AMMO right this very second.
1.
Now that apparently well endowed soccer stud David Beckham has gone on record saying he wants to high tail it out of Tinseltown to play ball with some team in Milan, Your Mama is already steeling our brittle nerves in preparation for the family's real estate crazy train to pull out of the station.
The children will recall that after looking at every damn house in the Platinum Triangle with a list price over $15,000,000 and wearing out more than one high-fallutin' real estate agent, Sexy and The Spice Gurl finally settled for a newly constructed 13,149 square foot Italian villa style pile on San Ysidro Road in Hills of Beverly.
In April of 2007, the couple reportedly paid $18,200,000 for the six bedroom and 9 bathroom spread and it remains to be seen if they'll be able to break even should they chose to flip the property once they've vacated the post premises or if they'll have to take big hit on their fat bank accounts. We're sure some of the children have lots to say about that.
2.
Did the children see that after she moved to a condo in Westwood, CA that Lauren Conrad gurl from The Hills put her West Hollywood house up for lease at $11,000 per month? Pleeze. Let's not even go there.
3.
Back in January, American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino was widely reported to be thisclose to losing one of her two Charlotte, NC homes to foreclosure. However, she seems to have been saved from that particular fracas and fray just in the nick of time. Although the news may be as old as the hills to the children addicted to celebrity gossip sites, Your Mama only recently read the rumor that it was American Idol mean man Simon Cowell who bailed out Miss Barrino's cash strapped real estate ass.
Well looky there. Maybe Mister Loves His Perky Nipples isn't really an ass but just plays one on the tee-vee.
If true–and we don't know whether it is or is not–Your Mama imagines all those American Idol has-beens like big ol' Reuban Studdard and that poor alcoholic Nikki McKibbon whose plans for fame and fortune haven't gone exactly the way they'd hoped are ringing Simon's cell phone off the hook asking for a few bucks to keep their kids in diapers.
We tease. Sort of.
4.
Every one's favorite Sandy Olivia Newton-John recently sold her house in Malibu and decamped to Jupiter, FL so that she could shack up with her herb pushing huzband John Easterling. Proper records reveal that Mister Easterling has owned a home in Jupiter since 1999 and a quick search on the interweb shows he recently listed the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom house for $850,000. Presumably the newlyweds would like bigger and better digs more appropriate for a woman of Miz Newton-John's iconic stature and wealth.
According to the New York Post, Mister and Missus Easterling recently went to contract to purchase a 4,500 square foot residence in Tequesta, FL that was listed for sale at around $2,250,000 but bailed out before the closing. The sellers are suing (natch) and screaming breach of contract (natch) and the Easterling's legal eagle says his clients backed out because the seller was unable to close due to their inability to convince their mortgage holder to accept a short sale...which all the children surely know by now means selling the house for less than is owed on the mortgage.
The Aussie icon is much in the news lately not only for her somewhat unexpected wedding to Mister Easterling and recent real estate transactions. That's because Patrick McDermott, her previous man-mate of 9 years, went mysteriously missing on a fishing trip four years ago and after an extensive search was presumed dead but is now believed by an intrepid investigator to be alive and living on a boat off the coast of Mexico. This never ending saga has all the hallmarks of a made for the boob-toob movie and Your Mama would just fall over and die of glee if Miz Newton-John would agree to play herself in that sordid little biopic. Don't laugh children, you know someone is writing that script and taking meetings at AMMO right this very second.
Jake and Reese Lay Out a Load for A London Let
LESSEES: Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese WitherspoonLOCATION: Notting Hill, London
PRICE: £4,000 per week
SIZE: 1,996 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A simply beautiful period house which has undergone a comprehensive and exacting refurbishment programme. Benefiting from wonderful entertaining space over two floors and sumptuous bedroom accommodation this stunning property also boasts a charming private terrace. 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, reception, kitchen/dining room, terrace.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Over the weekend Your Mama received a kindly communique from a helpful Briton we'll call Glenn Givesitup who generously hooked us over to a recent article from the Homes and Property section of the Evening Standard in which a dee-lishusly loose lipped estate estate agent revealed that American super stars Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have leased a London love nest to the tune of £4,000. That's four thousand bloody British Pounds per week children.
A few flicks of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus tells us that figure converts to an impressive $5,916 and eighty damn cents at todays rates. Again, that's per week, puppies. Although that is obviously a mountain of money to most people, it's probably less than the cost of the ridiculously rich couple and her two children shacking up in a swank suite at the super slick Sanderson and definitely a lot less expensive than settling in to one of the outrageously expensive and newly redesigned roof suites at the dee-voonly stuffy Dorchester.
According to the wonderfully indiscreet estate agent–who reportedly represents the property which is listed for sale at £2,795,000–the owner of the Victorian era house in the natty Knotting Hill area was thrilled when the well paid American actors turned up waving wads of dollar bills shouting, "Gimme, gimme, gimme."
Listing information reveals the modestly sized terrace house measures 1,996 square feet spread over four floors of recently refurbished rooms. The main reception room on the raised ground floor has dark wood floors, gallery white walls, a good number of creme colored sofas and seating areas where the couple could comfortably entertain Gwynny and Madge with a few carrot sticks and some Kabbalah water. A small terrace at the rear of the room is a good spot for the notoriously private couple to be seen smooching by all the neighbors.
The lower floor has an excessively glossy, almost mirror-like floor that looks reflective enough to expose the naughty bits of skirted ladees and gentlemen. The decently sized dining area is being aesthetically abused by a glass topped table, eight dining room chairs being choked by white slip covers and a little little fixture stuck to the ceiling that is both too small for the room and, rather upsettingly, not located over the center of the table. The dining area is open to the sleek and efficient looking kitchen which features a narrow work island, some shiny white cabinets that match the glimmering floor, and a breakfast area with a barely there round glass table surrounded a set of four Philippe Starck Victoria Ghost Chairs. This all looks rather sexy (if a bit 1970s), but Your Mama would not want to be navigating that part of the house in the dim light of dawn after a long night of gin and tonics with divalicious drag star Lily Savage because we would surely be injured by that transparent arrangement of glass and plastic masquerading as a dinette set.
A petite patio off the kitchen is a good spot for the nanny to smoke a fag when the Witherspoon children's grilled cheese sandwiches are grilling up and a narrow hallway off the dining area leads to a bedroom, a second small patio and the house's only guest terlit. While we do appreciate that the guest pooper is quite private, it's a long haul from the main entertaining space for a gal who's really got to go.
The private quarters include a full floor master suite which stretches the entire length of the house from front to back and includes a clean lined en suite with beautiful wood accents, and large, lovely and, thankfully, frosted arched window and some sort of fancy square terlit that we're sure cost nearly as much as a Mini Cooper. The top floor is accessed by a claustrophobic's nightmare of a staircase and features a windowless bedroom and en suite that are both, thankfully, ventilated and lit by several skylights.
The talkative estate agent did not reveal how long the Americans will be in residence. Given that the house remains for purchase, it can't be long. Presumably the property will not be shown while the panties and playthings of Oscar winning Ms. Witherspoon and Oscar nominated Mister Gyllenhaal could be peeped by the prying eyes of prospective buyers and aggressively nosy fans who think it might be cute to ring up the estate agent asking for a tour.
Back in Tinseltown, Ms. Witherspoon–who is one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood– and her two children live in a quietly posh guard gated community called Brentwood Circle in, you guessed it, Brentwood, and Mister Brokeback Mountain has long occupied a very private property above Woodrow Wilson Drive in the Hollywood Hills that Your Mama and several of our better connected sources think he leases as opposed to owns.
The Mulholland Drive home of Mister Gyllenhaal's rumored to be dee-vorcing parents recently fell off the MLS after having been listed for an ice age. The fine looking 5 bedroom and 3 bathroom contemporary crib was last priced at $3,150,000 after first hitting the market with a much higher asking price of $4,200,000. No word on what the Hollywood veterans will be doing with their Martha's Vineyard hideaway.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Duane and Tisha Campbell-Martin Unload In Lake Arrowhead
SELLERS: Duane Martin and Tisha Campbell-MartinLOCATION: West Shore Road, Lake Arrowhead, CA
PRICE: $1,597,000
SIZE: 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A wonderful home for entertaining and big families, featuring 5 bedrooms with level access to home, lake and single slip dock. Situated on a very gentle lot with park-like setting...A wonderful interior remodel with turnkey amenities including media/game room. All of this enhanced with glorious sunrise and water views.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last night, while we were sitting in the kitchen tapping away on our trusty laptop computer desperately trying to ignore the screeching sounds of that damn American Idol show that the Dr. Cooter insists on watching, we received an unexpected communique from a prolific tipster we call Vlad The Revealer who pointed Your Mama towards a Lake Arrowhead, CA residence being sold by ack-tor Duane Martin and his ack-tress wifey, the sensationally sassy Tisha Campbell-Martin.
Mister Martin may best be known by the children for his long stint on a program called All of Us. He has, however, also appeared in a fair number of films such as Fakin' Da Funk, Woo, Hustle and Heat and The Seat Filler, which he also wrote and produced. Mister Martin also owns an athlete management company called Impact Sports. His ladee-wife, the deliciously full figured Tisha Campbell-Martin came to boob-toob fame back in the early 1990s when she played Martin Lawrence's sassy gurlfriend Gina on the sit-com Martin. Miz Campbell-Martin famously sued her tee-vee boyfriend for sexual harassment in real life. Among other, lesser roles, Miz Campbell-Martin went on to play opposite Damon Wayans as a sassy mommy/wife on My Wife and Kids and currently appears on a sit-com show we've never heard of called Rita Rocks as a sassy mail carrier. Sassy is clearly Miz Campbell-Martin's acting forte.
The Campbell-Martin's 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom lake front domicile is currently listed at what listing information calls, "Today's low market price of $1,597,000." Now children, we don't know if that's a low market price or not because, truth be told, Your Mama knows next to nuthin' about Lake Arrowhead other than it's a big lake about 1.5 hours east of L.A. and that the nearly humorless comedienne Roseanne Barr used to own a house there back in the days that she still worked. We tease. We like Miz Barr. We think she's funny. She is, however, not so fond of Your Mama. But that's another story for another day chickens.
Property records show the Campbell-Martin couple picked up their Lake Arrowhead hideaway in May of 2004 for $880,000 and it appears to measure 3,858 square feet. We are not completely sure that square footage figure is accurate children so don't go quoting that number to all your friends like it's gospel.
Although the stacked stone accented house appears to be a very ordinary single story ranch house, it actually drops two floors below the entrance level and has a trio of narrow decks which run the width of the rear facade on all three levels that look out towards the Lake Arrowhead shoreline. Fortunately for boat loving buyers in the 1.5 million dollar price range, a single slip dock at the water's edge is deeded to the Campbell-Martin residence.
In addition to the front facing two car garage, the top floor of the Campbell-Martin crib features an open plan set up with exposed beam ceilings, an imposing stacked stone fireplace in the living room, a breakfast bar where guests can watch the action on the six burner stove in the modestly sized but well appointed kitchen, and a dining area which offers diners a water view while eating and features a chandelier nearly as large as the dining room table itself.
Presumably, the lower floors contain all five of the bedrooms as well as what listing information calls a media/game room. Your Mama imagines that's the room with the beige wall to wall carpeting, the beige sofas, the monolithic entertainment unit and that disturbing black leather contraption that looks like one of the upsetting and ass-uglee massage chairs from Hammecher Schlemmer that grope, grip and grind on anyone who makes the mistake of sitting in the damn thing.
We're not even going to discuss the nearly empty room with the 100 year old tee-vee in the corner other than to say we like the beamed ceiling, and do not even get Your Mama started on that sad looking bedroom with its $12 comforter, scary looking fake flower arrangement in the corner and curtains that look like Miss Campbell-Martin tacked a linen closet's worth of sheets to the damn curtain rod. Pleeze gurl, we know you have the coin to hire a nice gay decorator who could have done up the lower floors as nicely–if blandly–as the main living spaces on the top floor.
It appears to Your Mama that the couple, who are expecting baby number two, lives primarily in hot as Hades Chatsworth, CA which, for the geographically challenged, is due north of downtown Los Angeles and carries the dubious distinction of being the unofficial porn capital of the world. How nice. In August of 1005, property records show the Campbell-Martins forked over $900,000 for a .8 acre vacant parcel in a gated community on custom built mini-mansions where it appears they too have built a large house.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Katie Price Has Come to America
RENTERS: Katie Price and Peter AndréLOCATION: Calicut Road, Malibu, CA
PRICE: (reportedly) $100,000 per month
SIZE: 14,000 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Enjoy the summer at Villa Cascata with a spectacular pool area, horse facilities, trails, lawns, formal gardens, koi pond and a large guest house for your out of town visitors. This newly completed masterpiece features interiors by noted designer Audrey Ruth and is sited to command views from Pt. Mugu to downtown Los Angeles...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Although it sounds like twig thin Vicki Beckham and her sexy soccer playing sidekick David might like to move back to Europe and Los Angeles is soon to lose British singing sensation Robbie Williams, the City of Angels is gaining another British super star in the form of behemoth breasted British glamazon Katie/Jordan Price and her singer huzband Peter André who famously met on the British reality series I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! The spot light loving couple, quite naturally, have continued to exploit their private lives on reality program after reality program after reality program.
To be fair, Mister André has released a few singles since then and the impressively entrepreneurial Miss Price has also penned three top selling autobiographies (three!), four top selling (and ghostwritten) novels as well as a series of children's books. Additionally she's lined her Birkin bag by licensing her name and image to a whole bunch of products including (but not limited to) lingerie, jewelry, hair care products, a chain of grocery stores and a line of horse care products. And let's not forget the fragrances that bear her name either. So, you know, like it or not, this beehawtcha is all kinds of bizzy with money making endeavors.
Anyhoo, according to the gossip juggernaut TMZ and confirmed by a well connected source we call Mirakle Mike, the frighteningly famous and ridiculously rich couple–who have long been rumored to be looking for temporary digs in Los Angeles–have finally landed in the hills above Malee-boo where they've leased a Mediterranean style pile which listing information calls Villa Cascata, a name which translates roughly to House of Waterfall. It does not appear to Your Mama that there is a waterfall on the property.
In addition to the $100,000 per month asking price, listing information also indicates the newly built manse measures in at a sprawling 14,000 square feet with 7 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms plus a detached guest house with separate entrance. In addition to all the expected rooms (an impress the guests style entrance hall, living, dining, den, library, gore-may kitchen and family room) other interior amenities include an art studio, wine cellar, sauna and a home gym set up.
The grounds include two large gated motor courts, arched colonnades, Tuscan style formal gardens, a large trellis covered patio adjacent to the swimming pool and spa, equestrian facilities, commanding views from Point Mugu all the way to downtown L.A. and a stunning semi-circular viewing terrace perfect for some early morning yoga or downing a few gin and tonics at sunset.
Now listen here now, iffin any of you horny children think it would cute to hop in your hoopdies and head out to Malee-boo to try and cop a peep of Miss Price and her mammoth mammaries sunbathing in the nood, Your Mama suggests you just stay home. Not only is it silly and strange to be driving up on celebrity homes, the property is located at the tail end of a private and gated road which means y'all will be left looking like a damn fool sitting in your car on the side of a secluded road out in Malee-boo waiting for Miss Tits to come sliding out of the gates in a car with windows so dark you cain't see through them. How fun.
Now then, even though neither Your Mama nor the Dr. Cooter would know Miss Price or Mister André if they walked right into our living room and introduced themselves, we welcome them to the good ol' U.S. of A where blood, sweat, tears and talent isn't the only way to fame and fortune but can also be had with glittering teeth, fake boobies and a creatively entrepreneurial spirit.
Producer Dylan Sellers Selling in Pacific Palisades
SELLER: Dylan SellersLOCATION: N. Chautauqua, Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $2,995,000
SIZE: 3,990 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Wonderful combination of privacy and open views. Excellent entertaining flow inside and out. Spacious five bedroom (3 up, 2 down), 4.5 California Mediterranean set on N. Chautauqua rim. Formal living room with soaring ceiling and large picture window. Dining area off charming family room and chef's kitchen with center island and beautiful tile work. Private backyard has tiled patio, grassy area, pool/spa and views.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Movie producer Dylan Sellers and his lady-wife Wendie have listed their Pacific Palisades property with an asking price of $2,995,000. Now listen children, we recognize those of you not in the bizness of show are unlikely to know who Mister Sellers is or what his cinematic accomplishments are. So simmer down for 30 seconds and let Your Mama school you.
Mister Sellers has produced a number of high profile films including the Agent Cody Banks movies that starred Frankie Munoz and Hilary Duff (before she got her new teeth), as well as the Cinderella Story films, one of which also starred that Hilary Duff gurl. According to his resume on the IMDB, Mister Sellers also has a hefty handful of films in the hopper including the much publicized Footloose remake for which the producers nabbed High School Musical hottie Zac Efron (who Your Mama recommends bust out of the singing and dancing genre right quick).
Property records show Mister and Missus Sellers picked up their N. Chautauqua "California Mediterranean" style residence in January of 2005 for $2,550,000 and listing information shows the house measures 3,990 square feet with 5 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms.
It's unclear to Your Mama if the square footage shown in listing information includes the garage which appears to have been converted to some sort of interior space that can, unfortunately, be accessed only through the laundry room. While it would make a fine and private space for our autocratic and vehemently secretive house gurl Svetlana, both Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would prefer to rent Svetlana her own studio apartment nearby and have the space be returned to its original use as a front facing two car garage where we could keep our big BMWs dust free.
A somewhat cramped hallway like entrance and stair hall opens to a step down living room with a high beamed ceiling, wood floors, a wood burning fireplace and a giant window facing the street. At the rear of the house, a large open plan and wood floored space contains a disturbingly peachy colored dining room (which also sports a chandelier that's hung way, way, way too high), an island kitchen that looks like it's trying way too hard to be a country kitchen in Connecticut (note the campy rooster rug), and a family room with a flat screen boob-toob mounted over a second fireplace, a wall of French doors opening to the rear dining terrace and several competing and not particularly complimentary upholstery and rug patterns.
Two of the five bedrooms are located on the first floor behind the family room. Each has its own private pooper would make excellent rooms for mouthy and rebellious teenagers. Upstairs, two additional bedrooms share a Jack and Jill style bathroom and each has a set of French doors leading out to large tiled terraces. The master suite includes a third fireplace flanked by French doors that open to a tiled terrace overlooking the backyard and the canyon beyond, one large walk in closet, another long row of closets, a somewhat dated bathroom with a separate spa tub and shower with rather upsetting brass accents and an enclosed cubicle with both a terlit and a bidet. All the children know how Your Mama lurvs us a bidet.
While Your Mama is completely non-plussed by the Mister and Missus Sellers' lack of decorative prowess, we do rather appreciate the mostly drought tolerant landscaping that surrounds the property. The front facade is well screened by some giant agave plants and a couple of Olive trees on either side of the front door. In the back yard, more Olive trees shield the interiors from the scorching southern California sunshine and the free form swimming pool and spa have been sunk right into the lawn at the edge of the bluff overlooking the canyon.
Although the lawn looks lovely, Your Mama would consider replacing it with the sort of crushed granite material like that found in Parisian parks which would further reduce the amount of water necessary to keep the yard looking sharp in character with the character of the house. Your Mama has no doubt that a fine and fussy landscaping expert like L.A. based garden guru Jay Griffith could perfectly work out the details of that sort of conversion to hardscaping.
We don't have any idea where Mister and Missus Sellers will be moving. However, given all the Misters upcoming producing credits, we'd be our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly it's to a more impressive, "I've made it in Hollywood" sort of property.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Your Mama Hears...
...from the ever intrepid and always wickedly well informed Lucy Spillerguts that former teen queen turned tabloid train wreck Lindsay Lohan has moved out of the not particularly private house she shared with her painfully thin and sorta sickly looking gal pal, DJ Samantha Ronson.
Although heaps and hordes of rumors and reports have circulated lately that the lesbian lovers have been fussing and fighting in public places and are possibly headed towards a high drama bust up, young Miss Lohan recently took to her MySpace page and vehemently declared that she and Miss Ronson are not broken up. And maybe they're not. However, according to Ms. Spillerguts, who nearly never has inaccurate information, Little Lindsay Lohan recently leased a 3 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom Spanish style house on El Contento Drive for nearly ten grand per month.
The property, completely screened by very tall hedges, should provide the poor pap magnet with all the privacy she wants and requires. Other amenities include a secret garden off the master suite and a free standing cabana where she can quietly sit and think about how to get her once promising career back on track.
What it does not offer is any real distance between her and her DJ girly friend as the house is just a short distance from Miss Ronson's rental on Beachwood Canyon Drive, a proximity that pretty much guarantees the two frequently feuding lovebirds will run into each other in the aisles of the Beachwood Market where they shop for food that it doesn't look to Your Mama like they eat.
Although heaps and hordes of rumors and reports have circulated lately that the lesbian lovers have been fussing and fighting in public places and are possibly headed towards a high drama bust up, young Miss Lohan recently took to her MySpace page and vehemently declared that she and Miss Ronson are not broken up. And maybe they're not. However, according to Ms. Spillerguts, who nearly never has inaccurate information, Little Lindsay Lohan recently leased a 3 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom Spanish style house on El Contento Drive for nearly ten grand per month.
The property, completely screened by very tall hedges, should provide the poor pap magnet with all the privacy she wants and requires. Other amenities include a secret garden off the master suite and a free standing cabana where she can quietly sit and think about how to get her once promising career back on track.
What it does not offer is any real distance between her and her DJ girly friend as the house is just a short distance from Miss Ronson's rental on Beachwood Canyon Drive, a proximity that pretty much guarantees the two frequently feuding lovebirds will run into each other in the aisles of the Beachwood Market where they shop for food that it doesn't look to Your Mama like they eat.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Mark Peel and Daphne Brogdon Flip Out in Hancock Park
SELLERS: Mark Peel and Daphne BrogdanLOCATION: S. Lucerne Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,299,000
SIZE: 3,966 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Meticulous Mediterranean in prime Windsor Square, blocks from Larchmont. Gracious center hall plan generous living rm w/fpl & frml din rm. Fam rm w/ built ins, surround sound & access to back patio. "Renowned Chef's" kitchen w/every amenity, eat in banquette & office nook. Formal breakfast rm, maids/office down. 4 beds & 3 remodeled baths up. Master opens to canopied terrace. New garage plumbed for guest house. Wi Fi system throughout. Lush landscaping.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While Your Mama is working our phone lines and burning up the internets trying to confirm some real estate dirt on a few big name famous folks, let's step back and discuss a lesser light in the lexicon of celebrity. A little poking around on the interweb leads us to the house of Los Angeles based celebrity chef Mark Peel and his stand up comic/tee-vee hostess wife Daphne Brogdon who have recently hoisted their Hancock Park house on the market with an asking price of $3,299,000.
The award winning chef Mister Peel owns a highly regarded and kinda pricey restaurant called Campanile as well as a less expensive bread emporium/café called the La Brea Bakery while his ladee-wife writes a successful mommy blog called Cool Mom and gets paid to skewer celebs for their fashion faux-pas in both T.V. Guide and Star Magazine.
Property records show the couple purchased their S. Lucerne Boulevard property in March of 2008 for $3,100,000, which means, obviously, that the property is being flipped just 12 months after being purchased. A few flicks of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus shows that Mister Peel and Ms. Brogdon are looking at quite possibly losing a chunk of change once they pay out the considerable real estate fees.
Records also show the architecturally dignified house with a pleasantly symmetrical front facade was built in 1920 and measures in at 3,966 square feet. Listing information indicates there are 5 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. Four of the bedrooms and three of the (renovated) bathrooms are located upstairs and the remaining bedroom and bathroom are, apparently, located on the first floor. This bed/bath set up means there is no powder room and that dinner guests are faced with the indignity of sharing the first floor pooper with overnight guests, or even more upsetting, the live-in. Now listing puppies, in smaller homes with just one or two bathrooms, this sort of bathroom double duty is necessary, but we find it almost inexcusable in three-plus million dollar digs.
Your Mama knows that some of you children are going to self-righteously point out that his house isn't really in Hancock Park proper–it's actually in an area called Windsor Square–and that others of you will get yer panties in a kerfuffle and start whining about how you think Hancock Park (or Windsor Square or whatever) is not safe after dark and that homeless people poop on front lawns. Your Mama says, "Pshaw!"
Hancock Park (or Windsor Square or whatever) may not be as dee-luxe or expensive as the better parts of Bel Air or Beverly Hills but that does not make it some sort of a ghetto where dope pushers stand around on the corners and people sell microwave ovens out of the trunks of their beat up Impalas. Besides, some of the better zip codes in Los Angeles have been plagued by burglaries the last few years. Do you hear that children? Plagued.
Anyhoo, the Peel/Brogdon house sits on a mid-block lot on S. Lucerne Boulevard that measures just over a quarter acre and which listing information labels a "meticulous Mediterranean" style affair. Your Mama is just too worn out to argue with that designation. The center hall plan includes a wide entrance hall which is pleasingly devoid of decorative artifice other than the light colored and shiny herringbone wood floors, a grouping of small artworks, and a petite crystal chandelier. The flesh colored walls, on the other hand, kinda make Your Mama's flesh crawl.
The large formal living room, which has also, unfortunately, been slathered with flesh colored paint, includes a wood burning fireplace, glistening wood floors, light fixtures that look original to the house (or at least authentic to the time period), and a couple of gigantic beige ultra-suede sofas sitting on a white deep pile shag area rug that would give our house gurl Svetlana siezures trying to keep clean. The formal dining room has French doors leading to the front terrace, a beige rug, beige wallpaper printed with birds and branches and what appears to Your Mama to be a 1940s-ish dining room table and chairs that make us go weak in the knees.
Being the home of a renowned chef, the wood floored kitchen has quite naturally been did over with every amenity a cook could want and includes a full suite of high priced quasi-commercial stainless steel appliances. The simple white cabinetry sets off the large, vermilion colored work island that features a stainless steel counter top where meat can be hacked up and cleaned up without fear of contamination. We note with some glee that the microwave has been given its own cubby next to the fridge, something that is done too infrequently in the kitchens of rich people. The kitchen complex also includes a built in breakfast nook with a lovely Heywood Wakefield table and chairs (not pictured) and an office nook where the house gurl can comfortably organize the coupons and sneak onto the internets when the ladee of the house is upstairs performing her morning toilette.
The adjacent family room includes a simple coffered ceiling, a fab row of arched French doors leading to the rear terrace, and a wall of custom cabinetry for stashing the flat screen and all the boxes and accoutrement that come along with sophisticated tee-vee watching nowadays. Your Mama would like the children to note that the Peel/Brogdons have actual books on the shelves, something that always warms the cold cockles of our snarky heart. The couple have chosen to furnish the room with a cozy looking steel grey velvet sectional sofa with clean lines, deep down cushions and too many pillows. Opposite the sofa, at a conversational distance, sits a bent wood armchair that may or may not be an Alvar Aalto design; It's close, but there's something funky happening with the front of it that makes it look like it might be some kind of high-end recliner from Lazy-Boy, right?
The master bedroom, a not entirely successful study in grey day-core, includes some glammy decorative moments such as the mirrored bedside tables and mauve tufted silk dressing chair. French doors open to a large private terrace that is partially covered by a canopy and which surely makes for an excellent spot to lounge around in the late afternoon but still be able to make sure the nanny isn't angrily over-pushing the kiddies on the back yard swing set. The Master bathroom appears to have been renovated with a eye towards the house's original design and has Tiffany blue cabinetry topped with spider veined Carrara marble, white honeybee tile on the floor, a soaking tub with room for two and a seamless glass shower enclosure. The walls have been painted the palest of blue and a couple of windows flank the pedastal sink, which are, you know, appreciated after last night's Indian dinner.
The back yard includes a large terrace for dining, entertaining and nood sunbathing. While there is a large expanse of lawn for the kiddies, there is not currently a swimming pool. Although we do recognize that not everyone enjoys swimming in chemical-ized water, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter do and would never consider owning a house of this magnitude in Los Angeles without an inviting cee-ment pond. The garage, which listing information indicates is newly built, has been plumbed for a guest house and a Wi-Fi system has been installed throughout the property, a technological extra which Your Mama loves because sometimes it would be damn nice to sit under a tree in the shade while we type our fingers to the nubbins.
Listing information indicates that the house is already in contract after less than a month on the open market, so bully for Mister Peel and Miz Brogdon as they move on to their next home.
Your Mama Hears...
...That the red hot real estate scuttlebutt is starting to shimmy and slide all up and down the Pacific Coast Highway in Malee-boo regarding the Encinal Bluff estate owned by Brad Pitt which is rumored and whispered to be quietly on the market.According to Our Lady of Malibu, Mister Pitt is asking $18,000,000 for the estate which includes a glass walled contemporary house perched on the bluff above the ocean, a large swimming pool, a tennis court and a-list neighbors like Cindy Crawford and Leo DiCaprio.
Our Lady of Malibu also whispered in Your Mama's big ear that several big name agents are claiming the pocket listing which could get interesting (and ugly) if everyone doesn't play nice.
Prop records show Mister Pitt paid $8,410,000 when he purchased the property in March of 2005 in the aftermath of his very public split from former Friends actor turned romantic comedy queen Jennifer Aniston.
Lest any of the children be sweating bullets about where Mister Pitt and Miss Jolie will house their multi-culti clan of 73 children once their Malee-boo manse is sold, let Your Mama assure y'all the anxiety is not necessary. The privacy loving but spot light seeking duo still own (and lease) several hoity toity homes including Mister Pitt's ocean front compound just north of Santa Barbara, his long time Los Angeles compound in the Los Feliz neighborhood, their big ol' house in the Big Easy, Miss Jolie's Cambodian hideaway and the 35 bedroom Chateau Miraval estate in rural France where they lived for some months after the birth of babies #34 and 35 and for which they've reportedly taken a multi-year lease.
And, of course, let's not forget Sassafras, the 40-some acre estate in staid Lloyd Neck, NY the perpetually peripatetic pair reportedly leased for a few months while Miss Jolie, who keeps threatening that she's going to take a break from working in order to spend some time with all her 47 kids, is scheduled to film her next movie.
photo: Pacific Coast News
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