Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Little Judge Judy Floor Plan Porn

BUYER: Judge Judy
LOCATION: Fifth Avenue, New York City, NY
PRICE $6,750,000
SIZE: 3,150 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Over 3,000 square feet of fully-renovated, divinely unique corner masterpiece on 11th floor plus 150 square-foot maids room on 6th floor. The gracious layout includes a 2 bedroom, 2.5 bathrooms with a beautiful wood paneled library. The exquisite living room is sun splashed all day with southern views of Fifth Avenue and Western views of Central Park...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to the new gal named Chloe Malle who now pens the New York Observer's Manhattan Transfers column–the always entertaining Max Abelson moved on to other, greener journalistic pastures at the Observerwe've learned that judgmental Judge Judy Sheindlin recently closed on a pied-a-terre at The Sherry-Netherland, one of Manhattan's most aristocratic Fifth Avenue hotel and apartment towers.

Interestingly and perhaps as a sign of the rather grim real estate times, Miz Sheindlin's new nest at The Sherry-Netherland was first listed in October of 2008 with a guffaw instigating asking price of $15,000,000. The price tag quickly dropped to $13,500,000 and then again to $9,995,000. After being removed from the market in January of 2009 and then re-listed with a new real estate agent–Manhattan property powerhouse Carrie Chiang and along with a gal named Janet Wang–the asking price stood at a hugely reduced $7,999,000.

It will come and no surprise to anyone who has the stomach and fortitude to watch Judge Judy verbally lacerate some dingbat who banged up his auntie's Monte Carlo and blamed it on the his best friend's baby momma's third cuzzin Clover Promise that the ladee drives a hard damn real estate bargain. After four months on the market at $7,999,000, Miz Sheindlin swooped in and snatched the place up for $6,750,000, a staggering amount of money by any account but, according to our bejeweled abacus, an even more staggering 55% less than the original sky high asking price.

Listing information indicates the corner occupying 11th floor apartment measures approximately 3,150 square feet and contains 2 bedrooms suites, well situated at opposite ends of the apartment, plus a powder pooper. The living room, essentially an expansive 30-foot square space, has desirable and expensive views south down Fifth Avenue and west over the urban oasis of Central Park. Given its proximity to the small but fully equipped kitchen, the 21-foot long, wood paneled library could easily be put into service as the dining room.

Beyond the library/dining room, a second bedroom is lined with built-ins and has a private but unfortunately windowless pooper. As far away as is possible from the second bedroom and situated just off the foyer, the master bedroom encompasses a park-view boo-dwar, a park-view dressing room, a walk in closet, and a spacious park-view pooper with double sinks, a separate shower and a long soaking tub where the gajillionaire grandma can sip champagne in a bubble bath and relish her rare good luck that she manages to make tens of millions of smackers a year as a brow-beating bee-hawtcha on boob-toob.

Listing information reveals that Judge Judy's new digs also include a claustrophobic's nightmare of a staff room down on the sixth floor that measures less than 7 feet wide but does provide at private pooper with a large window.

Other current and past residents of The Sherry-Netherland include Diana Ross–who has been trying to unload her aerie since at least the summer of 2008, billionaire art patron Eli Broad–whose 33rd floor tower unit is currently listed at $10,950,000, candle king Harry Slatkin, tech titan turned art collector and philanthropist Max Palevsky, investment banker Roberto de Guardiola and his interior designer wifey Joanne who reportedly own five contiguous units, big bad Babs (Streisand, natch), George Burns, Jack Warner and Francis Ford Coppola as well as any number of other big bizness barons, wildly wealthy industrialists, and filthy rich financiers.

Judge Judy's other real estate holdings include a penthouse condominium in Naples, FL which cost her $6,900,000 in June of 2005, a second unit in the same condo complex bought in January of 2006 for $2,625,000 and a 6 bedroom and 7 pooper mansion on 6.06 very private acres in swanky and staid Greenwich, CT which records show was purchased in July of 2002 for $5,150,000.

If celebrity gossip doyenne Cindy Adams is to be believed–and we can't think of a single reason why she should not be–Judge and Mister Judge Judy have traded their huge house in Greenwich for a vastly larger 24,000 square foot beast in the Greenwich back country that Ms. Adams reported back in June of 2008 includes 8 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms with gold plated fixtures, 10 hand carved fireplaces, 26 foot ceilings, and guard, gate, guest and pool houses. There is also, according to Ms. Adams, a home thee-ay-ter for 50, a wine cellar, a conservatory, a massage room, play room, game room, a state of the art home gym and an obscenely large master bedroom that, funnily enough, measures 3,150 square feet and features an adjacent "snoring room," an unusual bit of bedroom bizness Your Mama feels certain the Dr. Cooter wishes he had too.

15 comments:

Crapola said...

13 poopers ? Must be expecting a lot of assholes in that place!

Anonymous said...

Judy has long been moved into her new mega house in Greenwich. At least a year ago. Not that she would care because apparently the money is still rolling in, but on paper that place is probably worth about one half what she paid for it at the very tippy top of the pre-crash market. Can you say white elephant? The Greenwich market is a complete disaster with years of inventory to absorb. Regis Philbin took his really pretty bad and completely overpriced house off the market, even though he has already moved into another nearby house in Back Greenwich which was also purchased pre-crash, and which is also probably worth about half of what he paid for it. . . He probably has slightly more to worry about than Judy. Slightly.

Anonymous said...

Judge Judy Sheindlin is great. A tough, smart cookie. I admire her.

Viva! said...

I love Judge Judy. I admire her greatly as both a television personality and a jurist. She is without peer and she put in many years in the trenches of New York Family Court.

The apartment is pretty damn fabulous. She works hard for the money, she's earned it, I hope she enjoys it. Viva La Judy!

Anonymous said...

Didnt she have the entire home built and decorated from start to finish, in 4 months? I thought I read that in the Post.

Love the apt., but doesn't have any hallways.

Chris said...

Her TV personality is so relentlessly abrasive and overbearing I find her impossible to watch. Listening to her shower some dolt with verbal abuse is hardly my idea of a good time. I gather in the US of today it pays big, however.

Anonymous said...

Is Chloe Malle the daughter of Candace Bergen and Louis Malle?

Superyachtfan said...

She used to own a 148' yacht built by Feadship, the Netherlands. Sold in 2007 for approx. USD 17 mio.

Foodie said...

Yes, Chloe Malle is the daughter of Candace Bergen and Louis Malle. And....she grew up at 222 Central Park South (The Gainsborough Studios). A fabu building.

Anonymous said...

I figured she made a lot of money but am shocked she can afford all of these expensive homes. Why, at her age, would she trade for another gigantic house in Greenwich? If I were her, and I'm obviously not, I'd have the Sherry-Netherland apt and the Naples condo. I don't get it...

StPaulSnowman said...

Perhaps more appropriate to a Judge would be to label that 6x9 foot space a staff cell rather than a bedroom.

stolidog said...

Lovely apartment...If I were her, which I'm not, I'd take 3-4 feet from the dining room and give it to the kitchen.

Anonymous said...

I adore Judge Judy, who is the only public person who has the guts to tell it like it is in this PC-mad world. She earned her money and it's nice she's enjoying it.
I might add more space to the kitchen too, but apparently JJ is not very familiar with kitchen appliances so probably doesn't care!

Anonymous said...

I suspect she appeals primarily to people who would love to give others an abusive dressing down, but can't do so given their dependent or subordinate position. So they identify with her and do so vicariously.

Anonymous said...

I just love the Sherry Netherland, an elegant gothic tower. A lot of the interiors I've seen are a bit fusty though, the layouts pre-modern. Like Judy's tiny foyer there. But for a pied-a-terre, more than adequate.