Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Whitney Houston Lists New Jersey Properties

SELLER: Whitney Houston
LOCATION: North Gate Road, Mendham Township, NJ
PRICE: $2,500,000
SIZE: 12,561 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Extraordinary living space abound in this stunning home on a peaceful, gated 5 acre lot. Soaring ceilings, abundant natural light, and circular-themed interior spaces are the hallmarks of this home.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Late last night Your Mama received a covert communique from from Yougotta B. Serious that Grammy winning-pop-gospel Whitney Houston has listed her former home in Mendham Township, NJ with an asking price of $2,500,000. In addition to a brick faced mansion that troubled couple owned in Alpharetta, GA, this circular themed house was on occasion featured in the high-lariously camp, jaw dropping and more than likely drug fueled reality program Being Bobby Brown that ran for only one season in 2005 on the Bravo channel.

At that time, Ms. Houston and all her people were still denying that the singer was smoking crack, freebasing cocaine or partaking in any other kind of illegal substance. Oh children, remember Ms. Houston's mortifying and absurd interview with Diane Sawyer when she said, "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack...Crack is whack!" Oh yes, that was some good tee-vee times. Good times. Maybe it makes us callous and shallow, but there is nothing so amusing to Your Mama than a famous person–or even better, a politician–doing a terrible job of lying like a rug right up on the national tee-vee.

Ms. Houston has since admitted publicly–on Oprah Winfrey's show, natch–that Bobby Brown was her drug of choice and that together they were hooked on the cocaine and the mary-jane. She told the Big O that, "It was me and him together. You know, we were partners. And that's what my high was. Him. He and I being together. And whatever we did, we did together. No matter what, we did it together." Lo-ward have mercy, even sober this bee-hawtcha is all kinds of crazy.

Anyhoo, prior to her lost years as a dope fiend, Ms. Houston sold millions and millions of records earning high praise, oodles of accolades and bazillions of dollars. She was one of the most famous and successful singers of all time. However, back in the mid 2000s her life at the top was making a mad dash down the terlit. Thanks to an intervention by her fed up momma Cissy Houston, but Ms. Houston finally quit Bobby Brown in 2006, moved to the west coast, got herself some new chomper–or at least they looking like new ones, and started singing again, releasing an album in October 2007 that has produced at least two hit singles. And good for her. We don't care for Ms. Houston's brand of power pop-gospel ballads but we do appreciate her rising Phoenix-like out of Bobby Brown's sad ashes. Speaking of Bobby Brown, well that little lamb floating is around looking all kinds of broke down and road hard, making a child with one baby momma and getting hauled into court for not paying support to another baby momma. We don't know nuthin' from a burlap bag but Your Mama imagines poor Bobby Brown is probably shopping around some tawdry reality tee-vee program and wishing he was still aboard his the Mrs. Money Train.

Anyhoo, we're not here to discuss Ms. Houston's private life and heaven knows it is not our prerogative to discuss Bobby Brown so let's get on to the matter at hand. Property records indicate Ms. Houston snatched up her circular-themed mansion in Mendham Township during the height of her fame in July of 1987. Records show the North Gate Road estate sprawls across 5.1 gated acres and includes a meandering, multi-winged modern mansion the measures a hefty 12,561 square feet. There's no question that twelve and some thousand square feet is huge, but it would feel like a picayne cabin in the woods iffin Your Mama had to live in that house with Bobby Brown and his thinks-he's-so-charming and over-sized ego.

Listing information reveals Ms. Houston's home contains 5 bedrooms with 4 full and 2 half poopers including a round master bedroom painted a hair raising shade of peach that makes Your Mama want to run bamboo shoots into our eyeballs. The massive master bedroom has a curving wall of floor to ceiling glass that looks out on to the back yard, another wall of frosted, curving glass that acts as an interior wall, wall to wall carpeting and a built in bed sitting atop a circular platform. To quote Ms. Houston herself, Your Mama says, "Hell to the no" on the dreadful architecture and day-core of her boo-dwar. Just to clarify, the master bathroom in this New Jersey mansion is not the crack den bathroom which her sister in law Tina Brown so kindly sold photos of to the tabloids. That was, allegedly, her bathroom down in suburban Atlanta.

A wide walkway though the neglected landscaping in the front yard leads to the front door which opens to a long, gently curving entrance hall with a peach colored tile floor that is separated from the circular living room by a curving curtain of Frank Lloyd Wright-ish stained glass. The "formal" living room has 4 or more puffy white sofas lined up along a soaring wall of curving glass with sheer drapery, a monolithic stone fireplace, a sunken bar with swiveling barrel "bar stools," a massive dome-like sky light and wall to wall carpeting that Your Mama imagines has as much cocaine trapped in its fibers as is in all of the country of Columbia.

The large dining room also has peach colored tile floors, a curving wall of floor to ceiling glass, and a long, glass dining room table with 10 chairs that went out of style way back in 1987. The kitchen has more peach colored tile floors, a large work island with a circular sky light over head, white cabinetry that looks like cheap Melamine but is probably–we hope–a material of higher quality, and a dark peach tile back splash that gives Your Mama the chills, but not in the good way. The kitchen opens to the family room which has, yes, even more peach colored tile floors, a fireplace, a long curving wall of floor to ceiling windows that have been swagged with an ass-uglee yellow schmatta for which someone probably charged Ms. Houston $40,000 or some other absurd amount that sounded reasonable to a coked out Ms. Houston. The children will notice that the rug in the family room is the same as in the dining room. Perhaps the rug dealer was having some sort of special that day?

As best as Your Mama can tell the grounds include large lawn areas that likely take a lake to keep green, a number of patios and terraces that ring the rear of the house, a swimming pool with adjacent pool house and a tennis court. Oh low-erd children, just try to imagine Ms. Houston swinging a damn racket at a little yellow ball.

Whitney also owns the house next door, at 1 Cross Way, which she picked up in July of 1993 for $573,477. Presumably this house was used for staff, family, guests or perhaps as recording studio. Or maybe it's where Ms. Houston made Bah-BAY live when he got particularly obnoxious. That house was also listed for sale in mid-September with an asking price of $949,900 but appears to be under contract and no longer available. The property, connected to the first only by a meandering pathway, measures 5.07 acres and includes a 3,410 square foot house (as per assessor) with 3 bedrooms, 3 poopers, an indoor lap swimming pool and a full size basketball court in the back yard, and a children's playground for the now teenaged Bobbi Christina.

Property records indicate that Ms. Houston still owns a waterfront condominium in North Bergen, NJ that was purchased in November of 1989 for $955,000. Back in their salad days, Whit and Bah-BAY owned an 8,022 square foot house on Tullamore Place in Alpharetta, GA. Although it was widely reportedly that the Tullamore Place property was seized and sold by the lender after the erstwhile couple failed to keep up with the mortgage, it was, according to records and Mister Big Time, actually sold in a more traditional sale in May of 2007 for $1,190,000.

Ms. Houston is reported to be living down behind the Orange Curtain in a southern California community called Laguna Hills, but honestly chickens, we've not been able to confirm that. Your Mama's powers of celebrity real estate discovery are only so powerful.

P.S. Thanks for all the well wishes in the last couple of days. Just to clarify, it was the Dr. Cooter's mother–Mama Cooter–that went under the knife and not Your Mama. All went well and thanks again. We made sure Mama Cooter saw some of the missives, comments and communiques and she was thrilled.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

This home is ice..... cold.

Good for her for "coming up out of the ashes of Bobby Brown." Most did not see their realationship ending so "well" but then again, most people didn't know them from a whole in the wall.

And that's my prerogative.

Anonymous said...

"The children will notice that the rug in the family room is the same as in the family room." Really. Might I suggest Mama consider investing in the proofreading services of some sweet gurl in Bangalore making 50 cents an hour?

Chris said...

Most amazing is how cheap real estate is in NJ compared to LA land. 2.5 million would get you barely started in the Hollywood Hills; 2500 square feet of mediocrity at best.

Anonymous said...

I was going to say (chris) that isn't 2.5 pretty cheap for a 12,ooo manse in nj? Or is that just because of the sad economic times.

also, any good coke nose knows, when it falls you sniff it out of the carpet!

Madam Pince said...

What a dated house. Although you know in twenty or thirty years, 80s style will be all the rage, just like 60s is now ... or mid-century modern, as the cognoscenti like to call it.

So glad Mama Cooter is doing well!

Anonymous said...

This place is all kinds of ugly- looks like it should be a public library or something.

Anonymous said...

It's heinous. That's all.

Anonymous said...

I hate to go against the grain here but I see something that looks like potential in this one. Every inch needs redecorated but I like the open spaces, tons of light and modern touches. I must confess that the sunk in living room reminds me of a high-rollers suite in a faded Las Vegas casino.

Anonymous said...

Reading about the pink tile floors before I looked at the pictures made me shudder but the floors look to be some sort of large slate or honed pink granite perhaps and aren't that bad. I'm sort of diggin' the house and, despite the wretchedly dated decor, think it could really be something if totally updated.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a convention center or a hotel. Could probably be pulled off with an updated day-core. I find it interesting that unlike other celebrities, she's been holding on to houses for a while, and does not think RE should double in price every year just because she lived in it. Good for her.

Anonymous said...

Something's got to be wrong - 12,000 square feet and 5 acres for 2.5 million? I don't know what Mendham is like, but it's not THAT far from NYC.

As for the house, yeah, it's a bit library-ish or college campus building looking, but I kind of like it. With the right touch, this could be very cool.

Anonymous said...

I like the home and the price is not bad.
If I lived out there I would seriously consider buying it.
This is a pretty good deal.

Anonymous said...

I actually quite like this place! The decor is not to my liking but the place has loads of potential. It could come up quite chic in the right hands!

Anonymous said...

Whitney is doing all sorts of cleaning house over the past couple years.

First, she tossed that jaw-grinding chunk of bile to the curb, thank ya Jay-sus. Then, she gathered up her crack pipes and rollie-papers and burned those motherfuckers. I know that's right and it sho' nuff is okay, as well, Ms Whitney. Finally, she cooped up in some proper rehab - not the cushy celeb rehab, mind you, but a real, down-n-dirty facility: where ya go when it's REALLY BAD and you genuinely want to get sorted. I'll give her an AMEN for that!

Now, The Greatest Diva of All is back and lookin' all kinds of gorgeous, sounding fantastic, with a #1 hit album! I think the 80s have come back already!!

Admittedly, I love me some divas! And Whitney really is the biggest DIVA of the lot. There is something quite satisfying about watching her clean up and pull herself up outta what must've been some HEEEEELLLLLish existence with He Who Shall Not Be Named.

Thanks, Mama, for posting this house. Yeah, it's a bit tragic looking ... but seriously? 2.5 million for 12,000 FEET?! It's a steal!

Anonymous said...

ummmmmm.....Anonymous @ 9:12 am....looks like maybe you are the one that needs to be "proof-reading"....Mama said "The children will notice that the rug in the family room is the same as in the dining room." NOT "the rug in the family room is the same as in the family room"...just sayin'

Anonymous said...

As I actually live near this home, I can tell you the area is fantastic and this is a highly desired street and neighborhood.

That said, the outside (landscaping) of the house has been neglected for many years and is quite run down--needs a lot of work.

It's really a steal, however, at this price---complete with gatehouse!

Anonymous said...

There are not enough words in my vocabulary to describe how gross this house is! It just goes to show that money still can't buy taste--no matter how much money one might have. I think it's a $2.5-million tear down.

Viva! said...

That is one helluva hideous house.

But what benefits Whitney is that she's owned it for over 20 years, so even if she gets nowhere near asking, she's not losing a dime on this place.

I still think she's a hot mess with odd teeth and a crooked wig...but she's tried to turn herself around, which is something I can't say for many divas. So props to her.

One has to wonder what her place in The OC looks like.

Anonymous said...

i'll tell you what mendham is like, it's like one of the most expensive estate areas in new jersey, so this listing makes no sense unless the house is at this point so neglected that for all intents and purposes it's a tear-down. that seems very likely since whitney hasn't been living in this place in many years i would imagine the land itself is worth the asking price.

Anonymous said...

All those big, round sky lights are a smart ventilation solution. Helps get rid of that burning crack smell quicker...

Anonymous said...

Oh, now I know why those magazines didn't pay their freelancers!

Ripley said...

Your Mama, love your sight! This is the first time for me to comment. As a Realtor I find your comments right on every time. My vodka soaked brain would like to thank you making my day and a speedy recovery to Mama Cooter.

Anonymous said...

Actually I love this house. The architecture is stunning. If I had the money, AND if I wanted to live in NJ (two BIG ifs), I'd negotiate to have the dated flooring, kitchen, window coverings, and fireplace replaced as part of the deal. Then I'd go on a shopping spree for some outrageous whimsical modern furniture and some great modern that would wake up the house and make it a fun place to live and entertain.

Steve said...

A clear sign of the difference between 2007 and 2009 and 2012. The strength of properly priced properties has seen a steady 12 month increase.
Steve Shapiro.
Parsippany NJ
Real Estate
Builder

Anonymous said...

Did she sell this before she died? Who'd live in that hot mess of a house and who the F would want to live in Jersey besides Snookie?

Anonymous said...

This house is worth $3.5 millon dollars as it sits and needs some work due to defered maintenance...... mark my words the home will be compared to Graceland before its all said and done... if you want a chance to be a part of history... join us in making it a public museum for the memory of the greatest artist to ever take the stage... undisputed world champion and the pure definition of DIVA! Put your seatbelt on... recording studio is an understatement...

Anonymous said...

The mansion was purchased in 1987, and Whitney has not lived in the house for many years. The decor is out dated, of course but the house design is unique, new furniture'up dated landscaping this could be an amazing home! What happened in the house should mean nothing, if Bobby Kristina was smart she would move in the house she was raised in, and the house that is payed for, with What her Famous
mother has left her,the kid can have a great life and learn from her Moms misfortunes,, This house was owned by the greatest female singer in this world... Bobby K... Keep this house it will always keep your mothers spirt and soul alive and with you for the rest of your life.... Keep the house you own it......

Anonymous said...

I second that bobbi k u really should keep the home, make it to your likes,and just pass it down to your kids,and it will stay in your family to come god bless.

Anonymous said...

MEMORIES IS ALL WE HAVE. AND FAMILY, QUIT JUDGING PEOPLE BYE THERE ACTIONS LOOK WITHIN WE ARE ALL LOOKING TO ESCAPE INTO THE PAST OR FUTURE NOW IS ALL WE HAVE THANK THE SUPREME BEING. FOR ALL THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS , WHITNEY WAS A BEAUTIFUL SOUL LIKE ALL OF US! SHE IS AND WAS LOVED.. THANK YOU FOR LETTING US SHARE HER BEAUTIFUL GIFT... MAY THE BLESSING BE.

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