Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Was Michael Jackson House Hunting Before He Passed on to the Great Gloved One in the Sky?

Oh dear jeezis in heaven, the salacious gossip about Michael Jackson's crazy real estate ways hasn't stopped even though his poor, pale little body has been stuck up for eternity in the wall of a fancy mausoleum at the Forest Lawn cemetary.

According to the peeps at gossip juggernaut TMZ, prior to his death in June of 2009, Michael Jackson was negotiating to buy an insanely opulent architectural extravaganza in Los Angeles which can only be described as Mister Rococo making and unholy marriage with Missus Baroque and then proceededing to have influential and torrid affairs with both Sister Size Queen and Blistering Bad Taste. Assuming the report is accurate–and we really don't now if it is or is not–what else would one expect of an eccentric man-boy who kept zebras for pets, wore sequined socks and ladee's garments, wished he was Peter Pan, and had a damn ferris wheel in his backyard?

The 2.4 acre, three parcel estate in question sits in the swank Bel Air area of Los Angeles with a Revuelta Way address but in reality the bulk of the estate faces famed Sunset Boulevard. According to listing information for the house, which is currently on the market with a shocking asking price of $37,995,000, the vast estate includes approximately 20,000 square feet of immoderately lavish interior space with 15 bedrooms and 16.5 poopers spread throughout the main house and the 2-story guest house that over looks the swimming pool complex, spa and fitness center.

According to TMZ, ol' MJ had his beady little eyes set on the eye-popping property as far back as 2001 when he entered escrow to purchase the estate but backed out when he turned up short of funds. Fast forward to 2008/2009 when MJ was living in a leased house a few twists and turns down Sunset on N. Carolwood Drive. The TMZ reports says MJ was hoping to use some of the proceeds of his This Is It tour to buy the property and began chit-chatting with the current owner about making a second go of buying the improbably palatial property. He even, allegedly, took his trio of children to tour the property which, according to listing information, includes garaging for 20 or more cars, a dining room for 50 or more, 5 fireplaces, a cigar and wine tasting room, more gilded this and thats than in all of the Hermitage, and a vast master suite with three wall-mounted televisions, two massive marble poopers with gold fixture including one with gold swan shaped faucets, and a behemoth bed sitting on a raised platform with a blood red velvet and gilded headboard so absurdly extravagant even Marie Antoinette and Saddam Hussein would have said "Oh hunny, pleeze, no. That's just too much for a simple person like me."

The estate, sometimes referred to by real estate junkies in L.A. as the Tar Estate or–less nicely–as the Tar Mahal, is currently owned by Yousuf Tar. Among other assets, Mister Tar owns the Bernini Clothing and Fragarance lines. The children might recall that Chuck Woolery's suits were furnished by Bernini when he hosted Love Connection.

42 comments:

StPaulSnowman said...

This "wedding cake" of a house makes me feel like it should come with a lifetime's supply of insulin. It is an essay in overdone and I can only imagine the now really pale one, or possibly Anna Nicole, living here.

Anonymous said...

Only you would get a chuck woolery reference into this story mamma!

Anonymous said...

"with a Revuelta Way address but in reality the bulk of the estate faces famed Sunset Boulevard." Shouldn't that be Revolting Way? I think I just puked a little in my mouth. It's like Louis XV came back to life, dropped acid and moved to Bel Air. Mama I need a nerve pill the size of a Buick after viewing that Rococo-oh-no monstrosity.

Anonymous said...

< BURP >

Mr T said...

I cant picture anyone BUT Michael Jackson living in this atrocity

Anonymous said...

Good Lord. Can you say "palatial?"

Anonymous said...

Looks to me like something Donald Trump would like - and I think that pretty much sums it up! lol

Anonymous said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...

Anonymous said...

Understated elegance. A monument to restraint and good taste.

Anonymous said...

Ouch. Ghastly house.

Anonymous said...

I've been in this house on several occasions and let me tell you, from the outside it has a commanding presence, however from the inside it is the coldest, heartless property you have ever been inside. Completely bland and everything, I mean EVERYTHING is outlined in some form of gold.. which may sound elegant to some, however it is so over the top it is sickening. There is a reason nobody has bought this place in the years it has been a pocket listing and it is constantly rented out.

Word is there are cameras in the estate so Mr Tar can watch his home from his office/store in England..

stolidog said...

who would ever want to raise young children in this house of horrors?

Anonymous said...

Yup, that house has Wacko Jacko written all over it.

Sort of makes you think that the income tax rate should be 90% for those making over, say, $50M

deniseweldon said...

Oy vey! My eyes ache, please use your spell check!

Flora said...

Mama, your description of this house of horror is as exquisite as it is accurate.

We all know such cringeworthy houses as this exist, but having now looked, I wish I had not. Its like being force fed on something sickly sweet and rapidly feeling a rising nausea. I can fully understand how this would have appealed to MJ, while appalling us.

Anonymous said...

Wow; this place is kinda sad.

My imagination of who Michael Jackson might have become under different circumstances...a pleasant, successful, middle aged gay man who enjoyed his eyeliner and glamorous clothes, with a cute Filipino boyfriend in his 20's. A home in Vegas; three immaculately groomed, spoiled poodles. It would have been a normal, happy, life.

Hope his soul finds some peace wherever he is.

Anonymous said...

was this house in the lady gaga paparazzi video? the house is furnished with Silik furniture if anyone is wondering.

pch said...

This house is, unfortunately, visible from Sunset. A huge piece of land, but with lots assembled in a way that makes the siting of the house seem odd -- shoved in the corner. Busy, rut-prone road in front (you never want to be in the lane nearest the property after a rainstorm), terrible architecture, opposite a firehouse and the smaller properties of Little Holmby...as a teardown with a new house oriented toward Revuelta, it might make sense, but not at that price. Although, lots of people here with lots of money and not much taste -- so who knows?

Anonymous said...

Jesus!!

Anonymous said...

I just threw up a little bit on my mouth

Jane said...

The most expensive property in LA! Nimes/Holmby Hills asking for $ 72 million. Here you go: http://bit.ly/2uj4FR

Anonymous said...

If it were not the acme of bad taste it would not be Michael Jackson. BTW have you noted that TVGuide channel is still talking endlessly about MJ day after day, month after month, probably to all eternity. It reminds of me the Roman church where in some monasteries they say "perpetual masses" for the dead, for a nice sum of money. After all the monks saying the masses die, I guess it all stops, but that takes quite some time.

Anonymous said...

This house is where Lady GaGa filmed her music video for Paparazzi!

Anonymous said...

hey anon 4:47 and 8:09...that is becomming a very overused and common comment.
Without the furniture, I LOVE the house!!!! so there!

Anonymous said...

wasn't this house built on the lot that once housed a home with pubic hair and underarm hair on the statues surrounding the estate? Anyone remember that house of horrors!!

Anonymous said...

what's up with all the beige in these multi multi million dollar homes?

Unknown said...

beyond description, It does however seem like something the Donald would enjoy

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:51: Surely, we were not.

Anonymous said...

Shockingly awful. Offensive, i mean really really offensive. It looks almost sticky....

Anonymous said...

This place seems like it would have been perfect for MJ. Did anyone see the documentary with the British host that showed Jacko's shopping spree in Vegas? He basically bought out one of those gaudy stores full of gilded Rococo urns and such. I really hate that he passed so prematurely - he was one of a kind, and despite his craziness, an endearing cultural icon.

K said...

If the front porch has a massive chandelier, I wonder what the owner uses to light the garage.

Anonymous said...

More like house haunting than house hunting.

SID DELUCA said...

i'm so grateful I live in a small place, It's that much easier to clean up all my vomit after looking at this! Love ya mama, you always dish it out - the goos, the bad, and the FUGLY.

lil' gay boy said...

Oh my.

This goes waaay beyond NSFW; it's downright NSFVOAES (Not Suitable For Viewing On An Empty Stomach). I too just threw up a little in my mouth, which takes the count up to six, I believe.

"This house is, unfortunately, visible from Sunset."

And responsible for how many traffic accidents a year, innocent motorists coming upon that monstrosity, mouths agape, as they careen off into the weeds?

Now Mama, we know your feelings on properly scaled chandeliers; so why in God's name is the only undersized one in the dining room?

Honestly, I'd rather live in the firehouse. Nice corner property, clean, contemporary lines, plenty of parking & room for a pool...

;-)

I cannot believe my luck; my verification word is badly.

The internet gods know all, see all.

Anonymous said...

"wasn't this house built on the lot that once housed a home with pubic hair and underarm hair on the statues surrounding the estate? Anyone remember that house of horrors!!"

no, but close.
that house is down the street at the corner of alpine.
and after 30 (!) years the saga is finally coming to a close with two behemoths going up in its place.
mr e

Anonymous said...

my verification word is "vagina"

Anonymous said...

I can't read the entrance gate sign behind the lion statue.

Looks like ...
J u s t beat it.

LOL

Anonymous said...

JES DISCOVERED THIS SITE::::

MOMMA UR THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO PEACH MELBA SINCE TRUMAN CAPOTE!

MUCH BLESSINGS U WILD PERSONAGE.

XO JANE.

Anonymous said...

Good house for making porno.

Anonymous said...

there is no denying that this home is stately and grand, although i am of the opinion that it would be cold and difficult to personalize (putting pictures up, furniture in). The inhabitants would feel lonely and it definetely wouldnt be a place to raise three younge children imagine what how scary it would be to be a little child and going for a ten minute walk in a large empty house just to get to the fridge. people who build these sort of homes should cut there budget in half and give half the money to charities. Nobody needs a house of this size. It is just an ego thing.

Anonymous said...

Hey Realestalker do you know if this has sold yet? I heard it might be getting sold.

Stacy said...

wasn't this house built on the lot that once housed a home with pubic hair and underarm hair on the statues surrounding the estate? Anyone remember that house of horrors!!